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Preemptive Love: Pursuing Peace One Heart at a Time

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A personal account of the Courtney family and the Preemptive Love Coalition, as they help children obtain lifesaving surgeries in Iraq using one simple but powerful a love that strikes first.

In the middle of the Iraq War, Jeremy and Jessica Courtney found themselves with their two children caught up in the turmoil, just hoping to make a difference. After an encounter with a father whose little girl was dying from a heart defect, they began to investigate options for helping and learned that untold thousands of children across Iraq were in similar need, waiting in line for heart surgery in a country without a qualified heart surgeon.

With the help of their closest friends, they dived in to save the lives of as many as they could, but sending children abroad proved to be expensive and cumbersome, and it failed to make an impact on the systemic needs of Iraqi hospitals—the place where these children really should be saved. Despite fatwas, death threats, bombings, imprisonments, and intense living conditions, Jeremy and his team persevered to overcome years of hostilities and distrust in an effort to eradicate the backlog of thousands upon thousands of Iraqi children waiting in line for much-needed heart surgery.

“This true story of people coming together to live the doctrine of 'love first, ask questions later' by building bridges and saving lives is powerfully inspiring, touching, and, unfortunately, urgently relevant” ( Publishers Weekly ). “Courtney’s moving story gives us some of the best news to come out of Iraq in ages” ( Los Angeles Times ).

240 pages, Paperback

First published October 1, 2013

39 people are currently reading
628 people want to read

About the author

Jeremy Courtney

4 books56 followers
Jeremy Courtney is co-founder and executive director of the Preemptive Love Coalition (PLC), an international development organization based in Iraq that provides lifesaving heart surgeries to Iraqi children and training for local doctors and nurses, creating peace between communities at odds. Jeremy resides in Iraq with his wife, two children, and an indispensable team of dear friends.

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189 (35%)
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 83 reviews
Profile Image for Jessica Vaughan.
3 reviews8 followers
October 12, 2013
Within a span of 48 hours, I laughed, I cried, I questioned who I was and who I could become. I pondered how and when I had allowed my government, my culture, and at times my "religion" to choose my enemies for me. I fell in love with the Kurds, the Arabs, the Israelis, and the Americans. We aren't so different after all. We are all straining to see that far off country, all hoping for a place where kids know no war. I am in awe of Jeremy and Jessica Courtney and how eager they are to unmake violence and re-make the world. Read this book, and let these 223 pages unmake your mind and remake your heart for the beloved children of Iraq.
Profile Image for Ian Rowlands.
1 review2 followers
October 5, 2013
Let me make a very bold statement: if you read this book it will change and challenge your perspective on how to live life - if you open your heart and mind it will change your life forever.

Jeremy Courtney is a consummate story-teller and this is a great story to tell. He manages to to achieve a balance of humour and seriousness, drama and and reflection, facts and narrative and is empathetic and challenging. This is both a preemptive and redemptive story!

The honesty and transparency with which this book is written is a testimony to Courtney's integrity. There are times it will make you cringe and become uncomfortable, as you are allowed to look into another human beings soul and inner processes as well as those around him. An example of this transparency is the seen in the way he is willing to reveal and talk about the pressure it has brought on his family and relationships.

In the work I do I am often asked 'how can we live our lives from the values and beliefs I really care about and live a life that impact the things I really want to affect. This book helps point the way! There is a saying from one of the worlds great books of wisdom 'perfect love casts out fear'. Now this is a book that the Courtney's and the community around them hold in high esteem and they have shown us a way to make that saying become a reality in our daily lives - not by pretending fear and uncertainty don't exist but by believing and practicing the power of love that can overcome them.

I heard about that this book in August and pre-ordered a kindle version for myself and 5 hard copies to give away with the anticipation that it would be good. The reason I did this before even reading it was because my life and the life of those around me has already been impacted for the good by the Courtney family and those around them. I am not disappointed! The book has totally exceeded my expectations. Jeremy will be hoping to make a lot of sales in order to be able to help more children have heart saving surgeries - I am hoping for lots of sales so that 1000's of people can be inspired to be a trailblazer, a world changer, a heart mender or whatever it takes to make a difference in their time - in their world - in their generation!
So in short I highly recommend this book!
Profile Image for Sarah.
452 reviews
January 11, 2018
Easy read, but very challenging! Can I live what I believe? Can I put my life (time, money, comfort, security) on the line to love first? Violence unmakes the world, but preemptive love has the power to unmake violence.
Profile Image for Kendra.
309 reviews
March 2, 2017
A passionate and interesting story, but at times hard to follow. It was difficult to tell what the intent of the book was: simple relaying of events to tell a story, or exhortation into a life of preemptive love?
Profile Image for Janet.
1,393 reviews9 followers
October 26, 2019
The true story of the Preemptive Love Coalition, thanks to the courageous initiative of Jeremy and Jessica Courtney, Cody Fisher, and their team members. Jeremy and Jessica moved their young family to Iraq... a bold move especially considering the dangerous political climate and the fact that they had one child plus one on the way. Jeremy started wearing klash... shoes that were a traditional symbol of Kurdish culture and helped him assimilate in Iraq. Jeremy and Jessica found countless children in Iraq with heart defects who would soon die unless they had surgery. Their "Buy Shoes. Save Lives." motto was accomplished as they helped those children impacted by chemical attacks during Saddam Hussein's regime. Jeremy's inspirational story demonstrates how love and support can be preemptive (defined as "serving or intended to preempt or forestall something, especially to prevent attack by disabling the enemy"). Another "claim to fame" for Jeremy is that he was named as Baylor University's Young Alumnus of the Year in 2016. Way to go, PLC!!
Profile Image for Andrew Harward.
3 reviews
January 5, 2020
This brilliantly written account challenged and inspired me, planting seeds of change in my own heart. Jeremy tells not only of lives saved and huge challenges overcome, but also of his own personal failings throughout. Reading this feels like sitting with a close friend, confiding in you about their experience as if it happened yesterday.
Profile Image for Ryan Fung.
15 reviews3 followers
October 8, 2019
The timeline for events in Courtney's retelling is convoluted, with chapters bouncing back and forth with only a few key sentences embedded to help ground the reader in the grand chronology of things. Half the time I had no idea how one chapter connected with the other. That is probably the only thing about this book that I didn't appreciate.

That said, this book is worth reading. This is a story of an unnatural brand of love, one that borders on irrational, impractical, and even irresponsible. And yet it is also a love that is remarkable and life giving and necessary. This is a love that says yes even at great risk to the lover. This is a love that levels walls of hostility and displaces decades of understandable distrust, fear, and anger. Amazing stuff, really.

I very much appreciate Courtney's reminder in his afterword that this love does not find its source in the wills and hearts of men. It is not the love of a privileged American with a bleeding heart and an ego to stroke with its retelling. Courtney reminds the reader that he receives preemptive love in just as equal measure as he gives to those they serve. And too, Courtney shows that his love is an imperfect one, riddled with mistakes and shortcomings. But in its imperfection, this human love anticipates something bigger and better to come, founded and rooted in the Divine.

Finishing this book, I am challenged freshly to consider what it means to be so preemptively loved by Jesus. If God has so loved us, should we not go and do the same?
Profile Image for Marilo Rojas.
93 reviews
July 26, 2023
Jeremy and Jessica are so brave not only for doing what they do but for sharing their story and keep on doing everything they can, against all odds. Their love for life and their love for God is amazing, and their good will beyond barriers is super inspiring. I urge everyone to read it, follow their work and subscribe to everything Jeremy writes, take part it donations, make your own. One can't just stay the same after this book.
19 reviews
January 11, 2026
3.5. Was an inspirational story of how lives and hearts can change when people choose preemptive love, but it was not the most well-written book.
Profile Image for Leslie.
265 reviews3 followers
November 7, 2019
I appreciated getting an "on-the-ground" look at Iraq and the challenges created both before and during the Iraq war, especially for families. I also found the Courtney's approach to love first, ask questions later to be thought provoking.
Profile Image for Deborah.
274 reviews
October 1, 2013
Love first. Ask questions later.

In the middle of the Iraq War, Jeremy and Jessica Courtney found themselves with their two children caught up in the turmoil, just hoping to make a difference. After an encounter with a father whose little girl was dying from a heart defect, they began to investigate options for helping and learned that untold thousands of children across Iraq were in similar need, waiting in line for heart surgery in a country without a qualified heart surgeon.


With the help of their closest friends, they dived in to save the lives of as many as they could, but sending children abroad proved to be expensive and cumbersome, and it failed to make an impact on the systemic needs of Iraqi hospitals—the place where these children really should be saved. Despite fatwas, death threats, bombings, imprisonments, and intense living conditions, Jeremy and his team persevered to overcome years of hostilities and distrust in an effort to eradicate the backlog of thousands upon thousands of Iraqi children waiting in line for lifesaving heart surgery.

From the front line of the struggle for peace, Courtney writes a firsthand account of lifesaving and peacemaking in the world’s most notorious war-torn country. In the heart of conflict, there is only one kind of love big enough to change a nation: a love that strikes first.


My Review:

This was an amazing book. My eyes were opened to so many things, and prejudices I didn't even know I had fell away. Jeremy Courtney and his wife showed that "And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing." 1 Corinthians 13:2. Loving others who are different than we are is harder than I ever thought possible. But Jesus ate with the lowliest of sinners and did not turn anyone away. If we would take that stance with other peoples and nations, what kind of shape could our war-torn world be like?

I was really encouraged to know that grace in the midst of violence really does exist. Courtney reimagined and redefined what love really means, and that is sometimes costs us more than our prideful hearts are willing to give. But once given, what blessings can come of following Jesus's example! While I sit here in the comfort of my home and rant and rave about the problems we have as a country in the Middle East, Courtney shows that change is possible, and can be accomplished. A recommended read for anyone who aware of the Middle East and our dealings with them, and for anyone who wants to learn more. An uplifting read!

This book was provided by the publisher for free in exchange for an honest review.
Profile Image for Denise.
144 reviews4 followers
November 6, 2013
I have been following the Preemptive Love Coalition since they first began selling the Kurdish "klash" shoes and, as a result, was very much looking forward to this book's release. It did not disappoint! Courtney never paints a grandiose picture of himself--something that may be the most practical takeaway from the book: that regular, imperfect, fear-laden, non-know-it-all's can accomplish a great deal of good in seemingly hopeless situations! And it is this connection to his humanity that keeps the reader on the edge of their seat through the stories of setbacks, disappointments, dangers, and incredible joy. For someone who desires to love fully and effectively, Preemptive Love is like a mentor with a book jacket. Nothing is romanticized, yet the genuine and unchangeable good runs through the pages in a motivating way. His life choices of "loving first, asking questions later" in one of the most dangerous places in the world are (and should be) personally challenging. I love anything that causes me to see through the fog of life right down to the bedrock; to ask life-sifting questions that strip me of unnecessary mindsets and realign my perspective to what matters. It should go without saying that not many people or things in life hold that sort of power, but Courtney's story does. This is one to talk about. This is a story to read for the page-turning quality, but meditate on for the perspective-altering opportunity. "People smarter than I have challenged our way of life and called us naive for thinking that the world won't eat us alive this way. The truth is, we've done the math on it, and staying alive is not what we call living." (page 45, Chapter 4)
Profile Image for Philippe Lazaro.
226 reviews2 followers
November 17, 2016
“I don’t lean left or right. I lean in. I lean forward, because that’s where love lives.”

–Jeremy Coutney

This book was such a good read that I found myself intentionally slowing down so it would last a little longer. I love hearing the stories of people who have found themselves committed to a meaningful mission and hearing how they got started.

Jeremy Courtney's work is especially a big reminder that in a complicated world with lots of bickering, there are still people to love right in front of us, and no reason to not get started.
Profile Image for Rebecca.
7 reviews1 follower
January 9, 2018
Powerful book with many powerful stories. I have been a fan of this organization since the early days, and now I am even more of a fan! Jeremy is very humble and open about the challenges, heartbreaks and pitfalls inherent in a complex work like this. And a thrilling and fascinating read.
A few favorite quotes:
"...something lacking in all the religions, sacred texts, and holy prophets of the world. We scarcely know what they mean until they are embodied in front of us. I want us to fill up what is lacking by giving ourselves over and over again to be led like lambs to the slaughter. In a country where everyone else is trying to save their own skin or take another's life, giving your life away is truly the stuff of the far country!"

"Instead, preemptive love originates in the heart of God. The one who made the universe and holds everything in it- the one to whom Muslims, Christians, and Jews are all ostensibly pointing- is the first and the last enemy lover. And in the end, it is not our love that overcomes hate at all. It is God's. And preemptive love is not just something God does as a one-off transaction. Preemptive love is who God is."

"But when we spend our lives trying to lose ourselves in love for God and love for friends and enemies, we actually gain life, no matter how much we lose in the process. This is the paradox of preemptive love!"
Profile Image for Calum  Mackenzie .
634 reviews
November 2, 2024
There’s so much to enjoy, inspire and challenge here. The work Jeremy Courtney and his wife/co-workers do is incredible. I love the idea of ‘preemptive love’ (although the phrase is repeated so much, you feel hammered by it)

This is real, risky, doing of what Jesus tells people to do in the Bible; to love our neighbours and our enemies.

However, at points it gets a little detail heavy so some chapters were a struggle with my short attention span. He also talks about faith/Christianity/Jesus but not much and as God/Jesus are the reason for his work, I was disappointed.

I also disagree with some aspects of his theology in relation to prayer. Other Christian autobiographies would point to God’s answers to prayer/protection/relationship with God much more.

I’d give this 3 and a half for its story craft and for being a book that (despite being about loving others) doesn’t point to our heavenly father nearly enough.
Profile Image for Paul Herriott.
429 reviews16 followers
August 22, 2018
I had heard Jeremy Courtney speak publicly before I read his book, it was almost just as real. What an incredible story, what tough set of circumstances, what endurance by everyone. This book is part collection of stories, part memoir, part juicy tell-all. It was a raw account, not always glamorous, but certainly captivating. Jeremy does a great job of intertwining the history and culture of the Iraqi region into the book which helps to make sense of the complexities they faced. Even though this book took place just a few years ago, it seems like another world.
Profile Image for Marisa.
201 reviews6 followers
February 9, 2018
I really loved this book. I didn’t manage to finish the last few chapters since I borrowed it from the library and had to return quickly. The book made me reflect a lot and made me question about what life was, the role of a believer and what peace really meant.

It gave me a fresh perspective that has remained even after weeks. I hope to be able to complete the book in the future and I believe preemptive love is an inspiration to how differences can be accepted. Indeed, love is above all.
20 reviews
January 4, 2019
Powerful and inspiring. It really takes you on a journey to learn about choosing the path less travelled by, trusting your enemies despite you and everyone around you's best judgement, loving first, and asking questions later. This is what it looked like for them to follow Christ and obey his teachings - stepping into dangerous territories, forsaking all sound advice, and allowing themselves to be vulnerable enough to be hurt and to love.
1,168 reviews2 followers
October 26, 2024
The story itself was not particularly engaging but the heart behind it was better. And the message that Jesus is the true and only enemy lover who can overcome hate, was the best news of all.
In the details, I found the authors reference to his marriage difficulties over and over as a bit unnecessary. And the stories somehow felt a bit dry to me. I did appreciate hearing more of the culture but not so foreign to me as I have had family live in the Middle East.
Profile Image for Paula.
283 reviews15 followers
June 11, 2017
At times, this was a hard read, but I'm so glad I finished it. Courtney's honesty is brutal at times and his story of loving first is eye-opening, convicting and beautiful. I love that he tries not to mince words about his own failures and what he has learned from them. It is clearly a story of how God's preemptive love for us changes everything.
Profile Image for Valerie Laws.
50 reviews
August 27, 2017
A friend shared this book with me after hearing how much of an impact it had on her. I am so glad she passed it on. Now when I read the sermon on the mount and read about loving your enemy, Jeremy Courtney and the Preemptive Love team come to mind. What does loving your enemy look like? I believe it looks like what he and his team have been doing. Inspiring read.
18 reviews11 followers
March 3, 2018
“- but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” - Romans 5:8

If there is any earthly being who comes close to exemplifying God’s love for us through Christ, Jeremy and Jessica Courtney would be at the top of the list, along with all the Preemptive Love Coalition. Read their story! I believe it will be life-changing :)
Profile Image for Paul Spencer.
64 reviews5 followers
May 18, 2019
A beautiful depiction of the cost of love. I'm not sure if I'd agree with Mr. Courtney's theology, as he expresses little of it in this book. Preemptive Love is about God's love, expressed through the life of Christ and the Word of God. Iraqis deserve love as much as we Americans do. God does not forget this, though our prejudices might.
Profile Image for Kathleen.
414 reviews8 followers
October 30, 2019
There is so much that is inspiring about this book and the story of the organization that Jeremy and Jessica Courtney started in Iraq. I listened to it as a loan from the library. It makes you wonder what the world would be like if we were all more like these two whose actions on paper look naive at best and foolish or dangerous at worst.
42 reviews
November 5, 2019
“I no longer accept the zero-sum worldview that says we cannot simultaneously be on the side of the Democrats and Republicans; Americans, Israelis, and Iranians; Jews and Palestinians; Sunnis and Shias; Arabs, Kurds, and Turks. I choose them all.”

I am so encouraged and challenged and heartbroken and hopeful. Preemptive love >>>>>
Profile Image for Diane Busch.
239 reviews3 followers
January 23, 2020
Brave. Committed. Loving. Christ follower - These describe Jeremy and his wife Melissa as they live and do ministry in the middle east at their own risk. They collect money and help take kids with heart problems to get surgery. Their lives are at risk but they are being neighbors and living out the gospel.
Profile Image for Esther B.
80 reviews2 followers
March 9, 2021
So many stories to tell from this American NGO inside of Iraq. Would have done well with a stronger narrative arc, joining the vignettes into a story. Book is wordy, hard to navigate at times, but has a strong cause that carries it. Well done, Jeremy and team for breaking down the walls between Arabs and Kurds and Turks and Americans, pursuing peace one heart operation at a time. 3.5 stars
Profile Image for Anna.
14 reviews
March 28, 2018
I've been supporting this organization for a while and now i feel even better about doing so. Courageous and hopeful stories, they are living in love and bringing about a generation of peace one heart at a time.
Profile Image for Megan Carver.
24 reviews2 followers
May 15, 2017
I love a book that changes my perspective and haunts me. This is one of those. An amazing undertaking! Highly recommend.
Profile Image for Zac.
2 reviews1 follower
May 30, 2017
Incredible stories of how this nonprofit began.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 83 reviews

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