I couldn’t put the book down.
It’s such a powerful and shockingly important story as well as a harrowing one to about a Mandy as young child who was abused from the age of 11 by the very man who should have been protecting her, her father.
Mandy wanted with every fibre of her being to protect her two younger sisters from the abuse that took place 4 times a week, like clockwork. Her father was a sociopath and manipulated everyone to thinking he was a great person. He was desired to be the best and loved to fantasise about him and Mandy running away and being married. He was sadistic and evil despite his reputation for being so well regarded in society.
Even worse and to bring further heartbreak Mandy’s mother allowed the abuse to happen, so that she would have a break and excused her husband for raping their eldest daughter. Whilst knew the attacks happened from a young age, she allowed them to continue for an easy life, allowing her husband to sleep in Mandy’s room.
Mandy’s mother was a very poorly, and suffered with mental health issues but she was fully aware of the right and wrong happening in her own home. I would like to think that this doesn’t happen often but knowing first hand that women, mothers in fact , do allow this to happen for a quieter life, to stop the attacks happening on themselves, either due to fear and due to needing a break. This very thing has happened to myself. I was a product of rape by my father, who then abused me from a young age and my mother knew. In my own files it stated about the abuse and the common knowledge around it. Again this was in the 90’s where a blind eye was turned and people remained silent.
Mandy had no voice in this situation and it continued despite trying to speak up and be heard. Her father was such a pillar of trust in the community no one believed her or took her seriously. Others tried to speak up on her behalf but shockingly they were disregarded and brushed away as nonsense. Not only was Mandy failed by her mother but also by the very people who should have took her confidentiality seriously in the extend community such as the police, social services and the health visitors as well as her own mothers psychiatrist.
I’d imagine that anyone in Halifax area around this time would be know kicking themselves when they read the newspaper and again this book, that they didn’t push harder or perhaps wish they had paid more attention to the signs.
Mandy’s recollection is one which we should all learn from and educate ourselves when something doesn’t seem right or feel right speak up and be heard. Keep showing up and turning up with your doubts and concerns. We never know what’s truly happening behind closed doors.
Mandy eventually becomes pregnant with her father’s children, on two occasions. She has two children within a two year period. I believe this is what empowered her to stand up and speak up now. She tells her remarkable story with such integrity and honesty and in the hope to shed light on the subjects of rape, sexual abuse and children who are a product of that. Abuse damages multiple life’s and you never recover from the damages that it creates.
Mandy’s story will shock you to the core and hopefully when you finish the book it will leave you feeling the dignity and respect she deserves for being so open on such a tough and difficult subject.
I wish Mandy and her beautiful family a fulfilling future. You deserve all the love and hope we can all wish for!