A Million First Dates: Solving the Puzzle of Online Dating

by Dan Slater

** Previously published in hardcover as Love in the Time of Algorithms **

Once considered the realm of the lonely and desperate, sites like eHarmony, Match, OkCupid, and Plenty of Fish have been embraced by pretty much every demographic. Dating has been transformed from a daunting transaction based on scarcity to one in which the possibilities are almost endless. Now anyone can search for exactly what they want, connect with more people, and get more information about those people than ever before.
As journalist Dan Slater shows, online dating is changing society in more profound ways than we imagine. He explores how these new technologies, by altering our perception of what’s possible, are reconditioning our feelings about commitment and challenging the traditional

paradigm of adult life.


Slater takes readers behind the scenes of a fascinating business. Dating sites capitalize on our quest for love, but how do their creators’ ideas about pro ts, morality, and the nature of desire shape the virtual worlds they’ve created for us?

Genres: Relationships, Nonfiction

268 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 28, 2014

Reviews

[Alex & Books]

The book focuses on the history of dating, not providing advice about online dating or navigating the dating world in the 21st century.

It’s an okay book, just not what I was looking for.

[Abigail]

First of all....the original title of this book (Love in a Time of Algorithms) is a way better title and they should not have changed it.

Now that I have established that, interesting book. I definitely learned things I was unaware of (the chapter on modernized mail-order bride sites was absolutely horrifying) and the general history of dating via computer was fascinating. It was definitely well-served to have the stories of actual people and their failures and successes.

If you've ever done online dating (or haven't and are curious) this is a relatively good place to start. It reads pretty quickly but it doesn't go much below the surface.

[Kerry]

While some of the information provided is interesting, I could not get past the sexist language both which the author used ("high maintenance" is thrown around casually as if it's a legitimate description) and which he quoted--he really loves to quote the men ragging on women's looks, including those who invented online dating. I knew this book would be outdated when I picked it up, but I didn't know that the language would be so thoroughly last century. Booooo.

[Melise]

An interesting look at the online dating world circa 2009 or so. Helped me make sense of some of the experiences that I had at the time. I wonder what a similar study would look like nowadays (2020). I don’t hear about online dating (except Tinder). I wonder if that is a function of my age, or the actual state of the industry.

[Jacqueline]

Good for general knowledge but, Dan Slater keeps his opinions to himself in an attempt to make this an objective look at the world of online dating. I would have liked more of his views and analysis.

[Claire]

Insightful look at the ever changing landscape of dating.

[Maisey Jay]

super interesting how dating has changed due to the internet.

[Paw Quan]

Gives a brief rundown on the history of dating sites and how each dating site tries to cater to their target audience.

[Kim D]

interesting look at the industry. Definitely recommend prospective e-daters take a gander.