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Nobody Is Coming to Save You: A Green Beret's Guide to Getting Big Sh*t Done
In these divisive and distrustful times, the hardest skill and most important commodity in life and business is knowing how to connect deeply with other people. What are the secrets to moving reluctant people to action, in life or in business?
One Green Beret cracked the code on the rooftops in Afghanistan.
Working in isolated Afghan villages with a population naturally sympathetic to the Taliban and their hardline Islamist worldview, Lt. Col. Scott Mann and his teams were given a connect with the villagers and enlist their support in order to save American lives and reduce Taliban influence and reach.
For years, Mann—a New York Times bestselling author and acclaimed leadership coach—worked in low-trust, high stakes environments where nobody was coming to save him, his men, or the exhausted majority of Afghans they served. There, he learned that the best way to get big sh*t done and bridge vast divisions is to meet people where they are, not where you want them to be. He calls this approach Rooftop Leadership, for it was on the rooftops of these depleted and desperate villages where he and his teams influenced and led people across seemingly impassable trust gaps, establishing true rapport for the first time.
Veterans bring a lot of things home from war, and one of the things Mann brought back was Rooftop Leadership. His bottom-up approach isn’t just for Afghanistan or Green Berets. Wherever you live, work, or play—in real estate, in corporate sales, in HR, for a community volunteer group, in a non-profit, in politics—the hardest thing to find these days is authentic connection with other people. The social trends and fraying of civil society after more than two years of prolonged isolation from Covid, mass technology, organizational strain, and blinking-red stress levels on our emotional dashboards have taken a toll that those of us in our own exhausted majority are only beginning to understand and appreciate.
Nobody Is Coming to Save You shows readers how to navigate the Churn that's dividing us and learn to make new and deeper connections to ourselves, to each other, and to the natural world around us. With inspiring stories about his experiences in the military and candid reflections on civilian life, Scott Mann connects readers to a more ancient, primal aspect of their nature rendered dormant by the modern world. Accessing our primal nature can help us transform not just our society and our relationships, but ourselves. Building human connections is a crucial skill taught to Green Berets that separates them from all other special operations forces. It is the secret sauce to getting big sh*t done when nobody is coming to save you. And Scott is ready to show you how.
One Green Beret cracked the code on the rooftops in Afghanistan.
Working in isolated Afghan villages with a population naturally sympathetic to the Taliban and their hardline Islamist worldview, Lt. Col. Scott Mann and his teams were given a connect with the villagers and enlist their support in order to save American lives and reduce Taliban influence and reach.
For years, Mann—a New York Times bestselling author and acclaimed leadership coach—worked in low-trust, high stakes environments where nobody was coming to save him, his men, or the exhausted majority of Afghans they served. There, he learned that the best way to get big sh*t done and bridge vast divisions is to meet people where they are, not where you want them to be. He calls this approach Rooftop Leadership, for it was on the rooftops of these depleted and desperate villages where he and his teams influenced and led people across seemingly impassable trust gaps, establishing true rapport for the first time.
Veterans bring a lot of things home from war, and one of the things Mann brought back was Rooftop Leadership. His bottom-up approach isn’t just for Afghanistan or Green Berets. Wherever you live, work, or play—in real estate, in corporate sales, in HR, for a community volunteer group, in a non-profit, in politics—the hardest thing to find these days is authentic connection with other people. The social trends and fraying of civil society after more than two years of prolonged isolation from Covid, mass technology, organizational strain, and blinking-red stress levels on our emotional dashboards have taken a toll that those of us in our own exhausted majority are only beginning to understand and appreciate.
Nobody Is Coming to Save You shows readers how to navigate the Churn that's dividing us and learn to make new and deeper connections to ourselves, to each other, and to the natural world around us. With inspiring stories about his experiences in the military and candid reflections on civilian life, Scott Mann connects readers to a more ancient, primal aspect of their nature rendered dormant by the modern world. Accessing our primal nature can help us transform not just our society and our relationships, but ourselves. Building human connections is a crucial skill taught to Green Berets that separates them from all other special operations forces. It is the secret sauce to getting big sh*t done when nobody is coming to save you. And Scott is ready to show you how.
241 pages, Kindle Edition
Published October 1, 2024
95 people are currently reading
374 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 34 reviews
October 8, 2024
Scott Mann is a retired lieutenant colonel who served for many years as a Green Beret in the US army; since retiring around 10 years ago, he's written about some of his missions (notably Operation Pineapple Express, about the withdrawal of US forces and attempt to evacuate civilians from Afghanistan). Nobody is Coming to Save You is titled like a self-help book but is actually more of a memoir. Mann recounts his difficult transition back to civilian life, when he was forced to deal with his military-associated traumas and losses, process his emotions constructively in a way that didn't involve combat, and find a new life purpose to sustain himself. This process didn't go smoothly, and there were many bumps in the road -- Mann came close to suicide and had to find new ways of coping and being intentional with his thoughts and feelings over the roaring "churn" of today's polarized, technology-dependent society. One of Mann's coping strategies was to write and star in a one-act, semi-autobiographical play called Last Out: Elegy of a Green Beret; another was to tell his story on other platforms including this TEDx talk from 2019 which heavily previews the play.
I think Mann's story and courage are remarkable, though this book is largely discohesive and generally a mixed bag. It's worth reading for Mann's story, and possibly if you're also active duty or retired military as Mann's framing may really resonate with you, or if this is your first foray into "get your sh*t done" genre books. For someone who's read plenty of books in the "get your sh*t done" genre, this book probably won't offer much new advice -- though it seems like its advice largely drawn from Mann's own coping process and hard-earned lessons vs. his distillation of reading heavily in the genre or going to therapy, if that makes sense. It sounds like this was a book Mann needed to write for his own healing process and growth journey, and I'm happy for him.
My statistics:
Book 233 for 2024
Book 1836 cumulatively
I think Mann's story and courage are remarkable, though this book is largely discohesive and generally a mixed bag. It's worth reading for Mann's story, and possibly if you're also active duty or retired military as Mann's framing may really resonate with you, or if this is your first foray into "get your sh*t done" genre books. For someone who's read plenty of books in the "get your sh*t done" genre, this book probably won't offer much new advice -- though it seems like its advice largely drawn from Mann's own coping process and hard-earned lessons vs. his distillation of reading heavily in the genre or going to therapy, if that makes sense. It sounds like this was a book Mann needed to write for his own healing process and growth journey, and I'm happy for him.
My statistics:
Book 233 for 2024
Book 1836 cumulatively
December 10, 2025
This book was OK. Scott Mann seems like a good enough guy. He’s a veteran who experienced a lot of trauma, and now he does a lot of great work for other veterans. This is a “self-help” book that I’m sure I’d enjoy a lot more if I were a veteran. It just kind of missed for me. He has some inspiring stories, but I just didn’t connect with them.
March 6, 2025
This was really good and answered a lot of questions I've had for a long time in the first part.
Then it became narcissistic, talking about how people don't care unless it can be bent and broken into being about them. We're talking enabling and humoring the types who see their country literally being sold to the Russia and China even this book knows are not at all qualified due to underdevelopment to have anything to do with more modern, non-corrupt systems out of sheer petulant rage, and do nothing drooling at the leader with a face devoid of all intelligence wondering why he or she doesn't "make it about them" and make them "feel the love" in an emergency. I really mean it when I say a people like that are not a people, they are a glamorized tumor of narcissism. We're not enabling parasitism. We're not enabling narcissism. I started hating it around "Welcome in Stay in Step" not only for the tasteless military line, but the joke that there was no further backstory to the $250,000 donation. Reminds me of the SNC affair, just a "random construction company" getting the contract. Either this author is really stupid, really naive, or really trying to sell us that after about twenty minutes someone with a disabled husband who can't even afford to come into the city anymore somehow finds the time and energy to found a new company and the person just turns around immediately upon hearing this and donates $250,000. Try to gaslight a little harder there, that didn't pass with a lot of us, especially those of us with experience in the field. In the same way a "Clinton" gets a "million dollar donation" for a speech. Just a joke. Don't even try to make that pass again as congruent with norms of anti-corruption. I know that this has been an ongoing nightmare of pure parasitism and sociopathy for several people, it's not just me.
After that it was just petulant and cringey and I lost interest.
Up to that point it had some good quotes and answered a few good questions;
“They were in a constant churn of disengagement. They lacked a sense of purpose in themselves and in their community. Years of conflict had robbed them of their why.”
“Villagers were in a constant state of disconnection. They didn’t trust each other. They didn’t trust their government. And they sure as hell didn’t trust us. But it was their trust that us Green Berets needed more than anything.”
“Veterans often have a difficult time when they return home from war, and I was no different. I was floored by what I found after my time in the Army ended in 2013. Why were people so angry? Why were neighbors yelling at each other over small disputes? Why were Americans treating other Americans like they were mortal enemies? What was going on?”
“What I soon realized was that, like Afghanistan, our own country, communities and businesses were also at a low-trust high-stakes inflection point. As I looked around, I began to recognize the real enemy. Just like in Sarawa and many other Afghan villages, people everywhere were (and still very much are) grappling with this enemy. What is it? An insidious, resourceful, and unstoppable beast I call the Churn.”
“The Churn is volatile. If you charted it, it would look like an EKG.
The Churn is divisive. It creates in-groups and out-groups that don’t talk to each other but rather past each other.
The Churn is fear-inducing. When we are afraid, we focus more on surviving than thriving.
The Churn breeds uncertainty. As soon as we feel as though we have a handle on a problem, something new and unexpected appears, leaving us feeling unprepared and constantly off-balance.
The Churn is complex. It presents us with wicked problems whose solutions are nonlinear and require framing by diverse groups that are often at odds.
The Churn is crowded. When you’re in it, it’s harder to both listen and be heard.
The Churn is ambiguous. When you’re in the Churn, it’s nearly impossible to see the full picture.
The Churn erodes confidence. Not just in each other, but in institutions, business, nonprofits, families. It even erodes confidence in ourselves.
The Churn loathes nuance. It’s not interested in detailed arguments. It wants bluntness and self-righteousness.
The Churn doesn’t care for facts. It prefers opinions fueled by fear or anger.
The Churn loves interruptions. It lives off pulling you one way and then the next, often multiple times per minute.
The Churn thrives online. All of the Churn’s challenges are exacerbated when encountered in the digital worlds in which we spend more and more time.
The Churn is relentless. It never stops, even when you get out of it. And it’s not going to stop, either. It is impossible to kill.
These are not reasons to despair. The Churn wants you to despair.
Do not let it.”
“Most social scientists agree that successful liberal democracies rely on three basic ingredients:
Trust in our institutions;
Trust in each other;
Myths that bind us together.
How do you think we’re doing?
Yeah, not great.
Poll after poll shows that a majority of Americans have lost trust in our politicians, our government, our media, even our military. According to one study, 75 percent of Americans have lost trust in the federal government and 68 percent have lost trust in one another. Think about how these trends show up during elections, in your office, at Little League games, at a family reunion.
Alternatively, think about how they show up in your mind.”
“And now, right now, to this chaos we are adding artificial intelligence. Very soon, AI-generated disinformation will flow at an unprecedented rate, further misguiding our perceptions and leveraging our division. How will we know what’s real in this environment? If you think agreeing on facts is difficult now, just you wait. Introduce nefarious bad actors like Russia, China, and ISIS, and we’ll have an arms race seeking to deploy AI for all the wrong reasons.”
Literally confirms that working with Russia and China is a nightmare of gross incompetence.
“Unless you’re in law enforcement or the military, I’m not suggesting you make use of physical coercion during your daily life, but rather that we keep handy a type of surgical, unbending resolve that is sometimes necessary when faced with conflict. This is a baseline capacity all leaders should possess, but one with which we should lead only when necessary.”
“Sit around a fire and tell a story. Go camping. Meditate by the water. Go for a hike. If you hate hiking and you have no intention of ever sleeping in a tent, don’t worry. Sit on a beach. But a canoe and use it. Lie on your roof and count stars. Buy a telescope and set it on a hill. Take an outdoor yoga class. Sit still and draw the flowers in your yard. Pull weeds in your garden. Make a birdhouse and hang it. Dig a hole. Watch some birds. Pick berries. Sit by a stream. Geta metal detector and take it out to the cornfield. Use the park. Walk every block in your neighborhood. Adopt a dog and take it for walks. Climb a rock wall. Go fishing, go hunting. Grow beans and bring them inside for canning. Lace up your sneakers and go for a run. Feed the hummingbirds and watch them eat. Ride a horse. You get the idea. Treat these endeavors with care. They are sacred. The time they take and the spaces they inhabit are also sacred. What I mean is that there is a spiritual component to getting outside. The natural world has the power to shatter our fear-based, trance state and restore our sense of meaning and our connections, not just between ourselves and our environment, but between one another. We must give these actions the intentional respect they deserve.”
“The prescription here is simple: When you are feeling stuck, move. The more stuck you are, the darker your grief or anxiety, the more you need to move. The left hemisphere will resist and try to convince you to just stew on it or look for a logical solution. That’s bullshit. Move. Lift weights. Hit the heavy bag. Go for a walk. Even meditation involves the dynamic movement of the diaphragm.”
“When the emotional brain takes over, it locks our attention on what has aroused us, to the increasing exclusion of other information from the environment. This focus means we are seeing reality from only one particular perspective because in this type of trance the higher cortex is less engaged in reality checking. You can see this clearly when someone gets angry, and you cannot reason with them. In anger, a person is totally focused on their own point of view and will appear stupid.” - Ivan Tyrell, the Human Givens
“Unfortunately, the Churn has created a sustained, elevated state of fear that our nervous system is simply not accustomed to dealing with. High levels of stress are the result. And when we’re stressed in this way, we don’t treat each other as well. We find it harder and harder to be “together with” our “suffering”. We have a hell of a time being sympathetic.”
“If you want to meet your goals, you must keep your cool, and manage emotional temperature always.”
“As I hinted a few lines up, acceptance and recovery take practice. Our modern Churn isn’t helping, nor does it want to help. Pushing down emotions in the context of our modern existence also creates a kind of machine-imitation feedback loop: the more we push down our emotions, the more mechanistic we become, causing us to push down our emotions even more. Rinse and repeat. The process is killing our kids, our veterans, our first responders. It’s killing you and me. Over the last five years, I’ve lost nine friends to suicide. These were high-performing individuals who pushed their hurt and anger down–deeper and deeper and deeper–until they couldn’t reach them anymore or even name them to tell you what it was they were feeling. The only way they could relieve the agonizing pressure was through self-harm.”
“Bottom line No matter how tough you are, give emotions their due. Accept them. Share them in an authentic way. It makes your relatable. But then, recover from their effects. And then, be intentional in helping others manage their emotional temperature. Otherwise, like lava from a simmering volcano, our emotions will erupt into inappropriate responses of shadow tribalism to modern problems. Take the advice of my friend Bo, who encouraged me to put my feelings up on the stage.”
“Transactional relationships will be the first thing to fall away when life gets truly difficult. Take a hard look at your relationships. All of them. Business relationships, friendships, familial relationships. Taking the time to build trust and social capital when risk is low is how we will navigate the next crisis, whatever it happens to be.”
“The takeaway: Humans are social creatures. Gratitude never goes out of style. Neither does hospitality.”
“The next time you introduce someone to an individual or a group, try this;
Meet with the new person ahead of time. Take a few minutes to ask thoughtful, open-ended questions. ‘How did you get into this nonprofit effort?’ ‘What is the toughest challenge you’ve overcome that you’d like the audience to know about?’ ‘What’s the most profound thing you learned about yourself when your business got hit by the pandemic?’ Then just listen as they tell their story. You won’t even have to take notes. If it’s a story, you’ll remember. We’re hardwired for this.”
“When it comes to introductions, amateurs get right to the bottom light. Professionals connect first, and then they move on.”
Introduction story: use people’s stories to introduce them
Recognition story: Thoughtful open-ended questions can tell the story of the person you are recognizing in the presence of others.
Vision story: share your vision story and point out who might share it.
“Said differently, if you want a beautiful answer, ask a beautiful question.”
Then it became narcissistic, talking about how people don't care unless it can be bent and broken into being about them. We're talking enabling and humoring the types who see their country literally being sold to the Russia and China even this book knows are not at all qualified due to underdevelopment to have anything to do with more modern, non-corrupt systems out of sheer petulant rage, and do nothing drooling at the leader with a face devoid of all intelligence wondering why he or she doesn't "make it about them" and make them "feel the love" in an emergency. I really mean it when I say a people like that are not a people, they are a glamorized tumor of narcissism. We're not enabling parasitism. We're not enabling narcissism. I started hating it around "Welcome in Stay in Step" not only for the tasteless military line, but the joke that there was no further backstory to the $250,000 donation. Reminds me of the SNC affair, just a "random construction company" getting the contract. Either this author is really stupid, really naive, or really trying to sell us that after about twenty minutes someone with a disabled husband who can't even afford to come into the city anymore somehow finds the time and energy to found a new company and the person just turns around immediately upon hearing this and donates $250,000. Try to gaslight a little harder there, that didn't pass with a lot of us, especially those of us with experience in the field. In the same way a "Clinton" gets a "million dollar donation" for a speech. Just a joke. Don't even try to make that pass again as congruent with norms of anti-corruption. I know that this has been an ongoing nightmare of pure parasitism and sociopathy for several people, it's not just me.
After that it was just petulant and cringey and I lost interest.
Up to that point it had some good quotes and answered a few good questions;
“They were in a constant churn of disengagement. They lacked a sense of purpose in themselves and in their community. Years of conflict had robbed them of their why.”
“Villagers were in a constant state of disconnection. They didn’t trust each other. They didn’t trust their government. And they sure as hell didn’t trust us. But it was their trust that us Green Berets needed more than anything.”
“Veterans often have a difficult time when they return home from war, and I was no different. I was floored by what I found after my time in the Army ended in 2013. Why were people so angry? Why were neighbors yelling at each other over small disputes? Why were Americans treating other Americans like they were mortal enemies? What was going on?”
“What I soon realized was that, like Afghanistan, our own country, communities and businesses were also at a low-trust high-stakes inflection point. As I looked around, I began to recognize the real enemy. Just like in Sarawa and many other Afghan villages, people everywhere were (and still very much are) grappling with this enemy. What is it? An insidious, resourceful, and unstoppable beast I call the Churn.”
“The Churn is volatile. If you charted it, it would look like an EKG.
The Churn is divisive. It creates in-groups and out-groups that don’t talk to each other but rather past each other.
The Churn is fear-inducing. When we are afraid, we focus more on surviving than thriving.
The Churn breeds uncertainty. As soon as we feel as though we have a handle on a problem, something new and unexpected appears, leaving us feeling unprepared and constantly off-balance.
The Churn is complex. It presents us with wicked problems whose solutions are nonlinear and require framing by diverse groups that are often at odds.
The Churn is crowded. When you’re in it, it’s harder to both listen and be heard.
The Churn is ambiguous. When you’re in the Churn, it’s nearly impossible to see the full picture.
The Churn erodes confidence. Not just in each other, but in institutions, business, nonprofits, families. It even erodes confidence in ourselves.
The Churn loathes nuance. It’s not interested in detailed arguments. It wants bluntness and self-righteousness.
The Churn doesn’t care for facts. It prefers opinions fueled by fear or anger.
The Churn loves interruptions. It lives off pulling you one way and then the next, often multiple times per minute.
The Churn thrives online. All of the Churn’s challenges are exacerbated when encountered in the digital worlds in which we spend more and more time.
The Churn is relentless. It never stops, even when you get out of it. And it’s not going to stop, either. It is impossible to kill.
These are not reasons to despair. The Churn wants you to despair.
Do not let it.”
“Most social scientists agree that successful liberal democracies rely on three basic ingredients:
Trust in our institutions;
Trust in each other;
Myths that bind us together.
How do you think we’re doing?
Yeah, not great.
Poll after poll shows that a majority of Americans have lost trust in our politicians, our government, our media, even our military. According to one study, 75 percent of Americans have lost trust in the federal government and 68 percent have lost trust in one another. Think about how these trends show up during elections, in your office, at Little League games, at a family reunion.
Alternatively, think about how they show up in your mind.”
“And now, right now, to this chaos we are adding artificial intelligence. Very soon, AI-generated disinformation will flow at an unprecedented rate, further misguiding our perceptions and leveraging our division. How will we know what’s real in this environment? If you think agreeing on facts is difficult now, just you wait. Introduce nefarious bad actors like Russia, China, and ISIS, and we’ll have an arms race seeking to deploy AI for all the wrong reasons.”
Literally confirms that working with Russia and China is a nightmare of gross incompetence.
“Unless you’re in law enforcement or the military, I’m not suggesting you make use of physical coercion during your daily life, but rather that we keep handy a type of surgical, unbending resolve that is sometimes necessary when faced with conflict. This is a baseline capacity all leaders should possess, but one with which we should lead only when necessary.”
“Sit around a fire and tell a story. Go camping. Meditate by the water. Go for a hike. If you hate hiking and you have no intention of ever sleeping in a tent, don’t worry. Sit on a beach. But a canoe and use it. Lie on your roof and count stars. Buy a telescope and set it on a hill. Take an outdoor yoga class. Sit still and draw the flowers in your yard. Pull weeds in your garden. Make a birdhouse and hang it. Dig a hole. Watch some birds. Pick berries. Sit by a stream. Geta metal detector and take it out to the cornfield. Use the park. Walk every block in your neighborhood. Adopt a dog and take it for walks. Climb a rock wall. Go fishing, go hunting. Grow beans and bring them inside for canning. Lace up your sneakers and go for a run. Feed the hummingbirds and watch them eat. Ride a horse. You get the idea. Treat these endeavors with care. They are sacred. The time they take and the spaces they inhabit are also sacred. What I mean is that there is a spiritual component to getting outside. The natural world has the power to shatter our fear-based, trance state and restore our sense of meaning and our connections, not just between ourselves and our environment, but between one another. We must give these actions the intentional respect they deserve.”
“The prescription here is simple: When you are feeling stuck, move. The more stuck you are, the darker your grief or anxiety, the more you need to move. The left hemisphere will resist and try to convince you to just stew on it or look for a logical solution. That’s bullshit. Move. Lift weights. Hit the heavy bag. Go for a walk. Even meditation involves the dynamic movement of the diaphragm.”
“When the emotional brain takes over, it locks our attention on what has aroused us, to the increasing exclusion of other information from the environment. This focus means we are seeing reality from only one particular perspective because in this type of trance the higher cortex is less engaged in reality checking. You can see this clearly when someone gets angry, and you cannot reason with them. In anger, a person is totally focused on their own point of view and will appear stupid.” - Ivan Tyrell, the Human Givens
“Unfortunately, the Churn has created a sustained, elevated state of fear that our nervous system is simply not accustomed to dealing with. High levels of stress are the result. And when we’re stressed in this way, we don’t treat each other as well. We find it harder and harder to be “together with” our “suffering”. We have a hell of a time being sympathetic.”
“If you want to meet your goals, you must keep your cool, and manage emotional temperature always.”
“As I hinted a few lines up, acceptance and recovery take practice. Our modern Churn isn’t helping, nor does it want to help. Pushing down emotions in the context of our modern existence also creates a kind of machine-imitation feedback loop: the more we push down our emotions, the more mechanistic we become, causing us to push down our emotions even more. Rinse and repeat. The process is killing our kids, our veterans, our first responders. It’s killing you and me. Over the last five years, I’ve lost nine friends to suicide. These were high-performing individuals who pushed their hurt and anger down–deeper and deeper and deeper–until they couldn’t reach them anymore or even name them to tell you what it was they were feeling. The only way they could relieve the agonizing pressure was through self-harm.”
“Bottom line No matter how tough you are, give emotions their due. Accept them. Share them in an authentic way. It makes your relatable. But then, recover from their effects. And then, be intentional in helping others manage their emotional temperature. Otherwise, like lava from a simmering volcano, our emotions will erupt into inappropriate responses of shadow tribalism to modern problems. Take the advice of my friend Bo, who encouraged me to put my feelings up on the stage.”
“Transactional relationships will be the first thing to fall away when life gets truly difficult. Take a hard look at your relationships. All of them. Business relationships, friendships, familial relationships. Taking the time to build trust and social capital when risk is low is how we will navigate the next crisis, whatever it happens to be.”
“The takeaway: Humans are social creatures. Gratitude never goes out of style. Neither does hospitality.”
“The next time you introduce someone to an individual or a group, try this;
Meet with the new person ahead of time. Take a few minutes to ask thoughtful, open-ended questions. ‘How did you get into this nonprofit effort?’ ‘What is the toughest challenge you’ve overcome that you’d like the audience to know about?’ ‘What’s the most profound thing you learned about yourself when your business got hit by the pandemic?’ Then just listen as they tell their story. You won’t even have to take notes. If it’s a story, you’ll remember. We’re hardwired for this.”
“When it comes to introductions, amateurs get right to the bottom light. Professionals connect first, and then they move on.”
Introduction story: use people’s stories to introduce them
Recognition story: Thoughtful open-ended questions can tell the story of the person you are recognizing in the presence of others.
Vision story: share your vision story and point out who might share it.
“Said differently, if you want a beautiful answer, ask a beautiful question.”
February 7, 2025
Stay out of the noise and keep moving
October 28, 2025
I got this book for about six dollars on book outlet. Normally a book can be very bad at six dollars and I still feel as though it had good value
This book could’ve been a 10 page short story as opposed to 300 pages.
Absolutely zero substance, each chapter was just three lines of a story followed by 15 pages of repeating short sentences that have zero value
This is a great book to read if you do not know how to read and are just learning to pronounce words or string a sentence together without caring what they’re actually saying
Waste of my time, I would’ve rather taken six dollars out of my bank account and set it on fire then buy this book and read it again
This book could’ve been a 10 page short story as opposed to 300 pages.
Absolutely zero substance, each chapter was just three lines of a story followed by 15 pages of repeating short sentences that have zero value
This is a great book to read if you do not know how to read and are just learning to pronounce words or string a sentence together without caring what they’re actually saying
Waste of my time, I would’ve rather taken six dollars out of my bank account and set it on fire then buy this book and read it again
October 1, 2024
“Self-Reliance Starts with Trust”
To say this is only a self-help book is to diminish the effort and ultimate affect this work will have on many lives.
Lt Colonel Mann is a substantial player. This book is a treatment of his own journey saving people from harm, and his own self-resurrection. He writes with great candor and gravity, addressing the angst we all feel in an age of lack of trust in honored institutions.
Mann has a great many achievements (read his bio!), most notably his management of Operation Pineapple Express, saving the lives of hundreds of Afghan allies in the face of annihilation at the hand of the Taliban after the abortion of the US withdrawal in 2021. Colonel Mann is a genuine hero.
I gobbled up the book in a day. It reads with a steady pace, and I took many notes of his references to historical figures as the book has a couple dozen references to important attributed events. Mann is a storyteller, and he encourages everyone to recognize, know, prepare, and tell his or her own tale.
Much is personal: both his own near suicide to demons and his heartfelt homage to his father are gripping.
He clearly identifies the frequent utility and beauty of social media yet balances it against the too often evil we see daily, and Mann points the way to better interpersonal connectivity.
I sat crying when he told the story of the passion of Gaby Camarjo and the Stay in Step program she and her disabled veteran husband founded and work today with a commitment that can only be described as ferociously inspired.
This book is an outline for personal leadership. I believe its best use would be in a small group setting in order for participants to actually work through the lessons embedded.
Colonel Mann has a lifetime of stories. His “Generosity of Scars” on Youtube (TED Talk) is masterful, and I have seen the film adaptation of his play LAST OUT – Elegy of a Green Beret and I am a changed man because of it.
His stories on gratitude, hospitality, and trust are riveting and unforgettable.
I have never met Colonel Mann, but I consider it an honor to say I believe I know him. A prediction: his biography and achievements in service to his fellow man will be studied and admired for a century to come. He is a model American.
Get this book… in fact, get a couple, and give it to friend who wants to save both himself (or herself) and others.
To say this is only a self-help book is to diminish the effort and ultimate affect this work will have on many lives.
Lt Colonel Mann is a substantial player. This book is a treatment of his own journey saving people from harm, and his own self-resurrection. He writes with great candor and gravity, addressing the angst we all feel in an age of lack of trust in honored institutions.
Mann has a great many achievements (read his bio!), most notably his management of Operation Pineapple Express, saving the lives of hundreds of Afghan allies in the face of annihilation at the hand of the Taliban after the abortion of the US withdrawal in 2021. Colonel Mann is a genuine hero.
I gobbled up the book in a day. It reads with a steady pace, and I took many notes of his references to historical figures as the book has a couple dozen references to important attributed events. Mann is a storyteller, and he encourages everyone to recognize, know, prepare, and tell his or her own tale.
Much is personal: both his own near suicide to demons and his heartfelt homage to his father are gripping.
He clearly identifies the frequent utility and beauty of social media yet balances it against the too often evil we see daily, and Mann points the way to better interpersonal connectivity.
I sat crying when he told the story of the passion of Gaby Camarjo and the Stay in Step program she and her disabled veteran husband founded and work today with a commitment that can only be described as ferociously inspired.
This book is an outline for personal leadership. I believe its best use would be in a small group setting in order for participants to actually work through the lessons embedded.
Colonel Mann has a lifetime of stories. His “Generosity of Scars” on Youtube (TED Talk) is masterful, and I have seen the film adaptation of his play LAST OUT – Elegy of a Green Beret and I am a changed man because of it.
His stories on gratitude, hospitality, and trust are riveting and unforgettable.
I have never met Colonel Mann, but I consider it an honor to say I believe I know him. A prediction: his biography and achievements in service to his fellow man will be studied and admired for a century to come. He is a model American.
Get this book… in fact, get a couple, and give it to friend who wants to save both himself (or herself) and others.
October 11, 2024
This book was much needed at this time, based on the divided state of our country right now. It seems fractured and hopeless to say the least.
Lt. Col Scott Mann does a phenomenal job of explaining the Churn, which are all of the factors that go into making you feel disengaged, overwhelmed, and unable to get out of your funk when it comes to the state of our nation. It’s all by design. Lt. Col Mann was able to do some amazing things to help those who needed help while serving in the special forces as a Green Beret. He uses the mantra that no one is coming to save you and the key is to build trust in a low-trust, high-risk environment and to help those who can learn to lead from the rooftops. The book was an eye-opener and really did a great job of explaining how the vast majority of society is mainly everyone in the middle. Not the outspoken, loud and self-serving ones out on the extremes for each side of the political realm. Definitely makes me feel like I’m not all alone.
Lt. Col Mann shared how in his darkest hour (in his walk-in closet, sitting on the floor) led to his ability to lead and inspire others. At that very moment, he made a choice to live and to help others as a result of that of that defining moment.
I would highly recommend this and Scott’s other best seller, Operation Pineapple Express. I read that book in 3 days and the story was incredible. He helped save over 1000 people (from his couch & kitchen table-imagine that) when NATO pulled out Kabul Airport and opened the door to terror. It seems like a movie but it is real life.
Lt. Col Scott Mann was a Special Guest on my podcast, A Great Story Podcast and it was fascinating. One of the very best interviews that I’ve ever been a part of. He’s done so much to help those in need. He is a super human!
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast...
Thank you Lt. Col Mann for sharing your book. Happy to help whenever I can.
👊🏻,
CT
Lt. Col Scott Mann does a phenomenal job of explaining the Churn, which are all of the factors that go into making you feel disengaged, overwhelmed, and unable to get out of your funk when it comes to the state of our nation. It’s all by design. Lt. Col Mann was able to do some amazing things to help those who needed help while serving in the special forces as a Green Beret. He uses the mantra that no one is coming to save you and the key is to build trust in a low-trust, high-risk environment and to help those who can learn to lead from the rooftops. The book was an eye-opener and really did a great job of explaining how the vast majority of society is mainly everyone in the middle. Not the outspoken, loud and self-serving ones out on the extremes for each side of the political realm. Definitely makes me feel like I’m not all alone.
Lt. Col Mann shared how in his darkest hour (in his walk-in closet, sitting on the floor) led to his ability to lead and inspire others. At that very moment, he made a choice to live and to help others as a result of that of that defining moment.
I would highly recommend this and Scott’s other best seller, Operation Pineapple Express. I read that book in 3 days and the story was incredible. He helped save over 1000 people (from his couch & kitchen table-imagine that) when NATO pulled out Kabul Airport and opened the door to terror. It seems like a movie but it is real life.
Lt. Col Scott Mann was a Special Guest on my podcast, A Great Story Podcast and it was fascinating. One of the very best interviews that I’ve ever been a part of. He’s done so much to help those in need. He is a super human!
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast...
Thank you Lt. Col Mann for sharing your book. Happy to help whenever I can.
👊🏻,
CT
September 9, 2025
I found this book interesting and worth the small investment in time to read. I've read several books in the past few years that deal with our tumultuous, divisive modern era. I think that the author, Scott Mann, offers some perspectives that do help with understanding current conditions, but I don't regard the book as profound or compelling. Still, with all the pitiful warfare between petty nations and tribes, all the contention over political issues, all the disrespect about race and religious issues, and all the dehumanizing distractions that have arisen as a consequence of ubiquitous electronic technology, we need people like Scott Mann to remind us of our shared humanity. I agree with his concept of "churn" as a factor in complicating our daily lives.
Mann's development of the "Four D's", Distraction, Disengagement, Disconnection and Distrust, and his proposed MESSS approach are useful in describing both the nature of the churn and how to deal with it. I'm not a fan of recipes for solving human relationship issues. I do think there are fundamental principles to apply in helping people get along, but that doesn't mean there are simple solutions to disharmony among people. People are too complex and situations are too variable.
So, I enjoyed reading Mann's anecdotes and perspectives, but it's just his story and advice. He doesn't even do such a great job in conveying his ideas. But his ideas could be helpful to many people.
Mann's development of the "Four D's", Distraction, Disengagement, Disconnection and Distrust, and his proposed MESSS approach are useful in describing both the nature of the churn and how to deal with it. I'm not a fan of recipes for solving human relationship issues. I do think there are fundamental principles to apply in helping people get along, but that doesn't mean there are simple solutions to disharmony among people. People are too complex and situations are too variable.
So, I enjoyed reading Mann's anecdotes and perspectives, but it's just his story and advice. He doesn't even do such a great job in conveying his ideas. But his ideas could be helpful to many people.
October 24, 2025
I was drawn to this book because its title suggested a tome on how to succeed in life under duress with a realistic understanding of life. The title suggests rugged individualism, but in reality, Mann’s message is one of brotherhood forged in dire straits, under fire. This book is a deep dive into human psychology, learning to cope with personal demons and to lead/help people suffering from a wide variety of traumas. He tells stories – storytelling being a major theme for connecting with others -- of people helped by his play “Last Out – Elegy of a Green Beret” based upon his wartime experiences and efforts to save Afghans after that country’s collapse. Mann cites many authors with whom he has collaborated to help others in need of healing and corporate executives in need of a human touch in leading their people. There is a little in here for everyone. Over all, Mann gives people hope and encouragement in the midst of a fractured world.
November 16, 2024
I frequent the "new book" section at the library when I found this gem. I cried after reading the introduction. Then I cried two more times while reading this. Scott really hits home about how important it is to keep going and not give up. The book read like a list of all his accomplishments but he was sure to make the point that you also can make your own accomplishments if you just do it. Great stories and interesting realizations about how humans really tick. I recommend it for those who might have lost hope or feel lost in the unfriendly digital world many of us are finding ourselves in.
Scott leans on lessons his learned but also those of others. He speaks to others ideas as well as his own to help the reader understand how they can shift gears and get to the task about helping others - the most important task.
Scott leans on lessons his learned but also those of others. He speaks to others ideas as well as his own to help the reader understand how they can shift gears and get to the task about helping others - the most important task.
September 25, 2025
The book's points of using storytelling, emotion, and genuine human connection are useful. I see parallels with "Tribe". There is power in groups and motivated people.
I struggle to connect the book's title with the content. The title and content seem to contradict each other. The book does discuss the importance of self-reliance, but it is ultimately about how things can't really get done without collective groups.
The colloquial conversation tone is appealing, but might not be to everyone's liking. There are many phrases and terms that might be unknown to a wide audience. There's also some mistakes that could have been caught with better editing.
The book has valuable advice and emotional stories, but lacked the ability to drive it home for me.
I struggle to connect the book's title with the content. The title and content seem to contradict each other. The book does discuss the importance of self-reliance, but it is ultimately about how things can't really get done without collective groups.
The colloquial conversation tone is appealing, but might not be to everyone's liking. There are many phrases and terms that might be unknown to a wide audience. There's also some mistakes that could have been caught with better editing.
The book has valuable advice and emotional stories, but lacked the ability to drive it home for me.
June 18, 2025
“According to psychologist Dr. Gloria Mark,2 the average attention span for an adult human has dropped from two and a half minutes in 2004 to just forty-seven seconds in 2023.”
Great book. There are a lot of books of the type but few are this good. I do think that has a lot to do with the training that he received in communication, storytelling, and bringing a group along to reach a consensus and decision.
I was super interested in his discussion around storytelling and I immediately went to Libby and added every book that even looked remotely relevant to my wishlist from the library.
Great book. There are a lot of books of the type but few are this good. I do think that has a lot to do with the training that he received in communication, storytelling, and bringing a group along to reach a consensus and decision.
I was super interested in his discussion around storytelling and I immediately went to Libby and added every book that even looked remotely relevant to my wishlist from the library.
October 21, 2024
3.5
In terms is story? I’m giving it a 5. Interesting author and he’s done many incredible things. I felt hopeful and like if we took his tips we could create change or that I could help create change.
I’m lowering the score more for the structure of the book. I think once he gets to the storytelling chapter he really finds his way but for me it reads like a separate book than what we start out with.
In terms is story? I’m giving it a 5. Interesting author and he’s done many incredible things. I felt hopeful and like if we took his tips we could create change or that I could help create change.
I’m lowering the score more for the structure of the book. I think once he gets to the storytelling chapter he really finds his way but for me it reads like a separate book than what we start out with.
February 27, 2025
Self-resilience and the courage to take control of one's life in the search for meaning are central themes in this book. Mann skillfully shares his experiences as a Green Beret, demonstrating how he was trained to get things done, no matter the circumstances. In our fast-paced world, we need more than ever to confront challenges with courage, find resilience, and seek meaning to accomplish our goals.
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Feel free to adjust it further if you need! 😊📚
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Feel free to adjust it further if you need! 😊📚
June 16, 2025
There were some parts I liked and some that I wasn’t as much of a fan of. At times it felt like it was underplaying the very legitimate reasons for discord and disagreements today. But I did really like the pieces about the importance of connection and how storytelling can be used to bring about change. (Although some criticisms with specific examples used) I think this could be a good rec especially for clients with a military connection.
December 31, 2025
Not a fan of POV presented in this book to begin with, especially viewing Afghans as primitive or needing help from America. The author also regurgitated a lot of vague advice we’ve all heard before and the book didn’t flow. He talks a lot about the importance of storytelling and building bridges while ironically failing to do this with the reader. The book didn’t invoke strong emotion or make me reflect in a powerful way.
October 5, 2024
4.5 Really great book with some phenomenal takeaways. My favorite was his discussion of “scar stories.” (Being vulnerable in leadership and relationships.) His quote on that that I really loved: “The second best scar stories are the ones you don’t want to tell others. The best scar stories though are the ones you don’t want to tell yourself.” Lots of other good ones as well. Great read!
October 9, 2024
The main hook for the book is the stories from the author of his military life and life since leaving service. He weaves a framing of key aspects to succeed in life. It didn’t resonate as a female and might be better suited to individuals earlier in their career and life planning. Thank you to author. Thank you to #netgalley and publisher for an ARC.
January 20, 2025
Not sure it’s brilliant but it certainly has some moments of brilliance. Perhaps better yet it has some good moments of observation and analysis of life as it currently appears to be playing out in western democracies. A solid, worthy ready to at least get folks looking at how the bigger picture really is
August 20, 2025
First of all, the title is misleading. I thought this was a self help book. It’s is kind of a memoir with some insights, but no explicit life advice. The term “the churn” felt so forced… like stop trying to make “the churn” happen. But thank you for saying “interpreters” instead of “translators”. So 3 stars
November 7, 2024
This book had a different take on leadership and how to connect. It was worth the read I think. Coming from his experience in Special Forces I think his perspective is unique helping him to see things in a different light. His talk about being vulnerable was important to hear.
December 17, 2024
Good read. I love his analogy of what he calls the “churn,” which is made it all the noise in the world we face each day. Social media, news, gossip, politics etc. the book does a great job explaining how to get over all this and get the important things done in your life.
January 18, 2025
Good story from an American warrior.
I liked the author's personal recounts and insights gained through his career experiences. The author tells a compelling story about the impact of protracted war operations on our warriors.I
I liked the author's personal recounts and insights gained through his career experiences. The author tells a compelling story about the impact of protracted war operations on our warriors.I
January 26, 2025
Scott Mann makes a plea for people to share their stories in an effort to save the lives of people who have nobody to help them. No One Is Coming To Save You is the harsh reality of life regarding how alone we all are in the world and that the only person we can rely on is ourselves.
January 30, 2025
I loved this book, but really don't Luke the title! This book is about helping yourself, but more importantly it's about communicating effectively. I teach storytelling at a university and this is helpful!
December 22, 2024
Inspiring but practical
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March 28, 2025It's worth reading, but it was not for me...
Hoping this book reaches its target audience.
Hoping this book reaches its target audience.
April 15, 2025
This was a good book with some good ideas and push to take your own stuff in your own hands.
September 11, 2025
This is a great book that helps readers navigate churn that's dividing us and connections we must make to ourselves, to each other, and to world around us.
September 13, 2025
excellent read and storytelling! has encouraged me to write some of my own stories down.
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