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Leading the Life You Want: Skills for Integrating Work and Life
A Wall Street Journal Bestseller
“For nearly thirty years, my life’s work has been to help people like you find ways to bring the often warring aspects of life into greater harmony.” — Stew Friedman, from Leading the Life You Want
You’re busy trying to lead a “full” life. But does it really feel full—or are you stretched too thin? Enter Stew Friedman, Wharton professor, adviser to leaders across the globe, and passionate advocate of replacing the misguided metaphor of “work/life balance” with something more realistic and sustainable. If you’re seeking “balance” you’ll never achieve it, argues Friedman. The idea that “work” competes with “life” ignores the more nuanced reality of our humanity—the interaction of four work, home, community, and the private self. The goal is to create harmony among them instead of thinking only in terms of trade-offs. It can be done.
Building on his national bestseller, Total Leadership , and on decades of research, teaching, and practice as both consultant and senior executive, Friedman identifies the critical skills for integrating work and the rest of life. He illustrates them through compelling original stories of these remarkable
• former Bain & Company CEO and Bridgespan co-founder Tom Tierney
• Facebook COO and bestselling author Sheryl Sandberg
• nonprofit leader and US Navy SEAL Eric Greitens
• US First Lady Michelle Obama
• soccer champion-turned-broadcaster Julie Foudy
• renowned artist Bruce Springsteen
Each of these admirable (though surely imperfect) people exemplifies a set of skills—for being real, being whole, and being innovative—that produce a sense of purpose, coherence, and optimism.
Based on interviews and research, their stories paint a vivid picture of how six very different leaders use these skills to act with authenticity, integrity, and creativity—and they prove that significant public success is accomplished not at the expense of the rest of life, but as the result of meaningful engagement in all its parts . With dozens of practical exercises for strengthening these skills, curated from the latest research in organizational psychology and related fields, this book will inspire you, inform you, and instruct you on how to take realistic steps now toward leading the life you truly want.
“For nearly thirty years, my life’s work has been to help people like you find ways to bring the often warring aspects of life into greater harmony.” — Stew Friedman, from Leading the Life You Want
You’re busy trying to lead a “full” life. But does it really feel full—or are you stretched too thin? Enter Stew Friedman, Wharton professor, adviser to leaders across the globe, and passionate advocate of replacing the misguided metaphor of “work/life balance” with something more realistic and sustainable. If you’re seeking “balance” you’ll never achieve it, argues Friedman. The idea that “work” competes with “life” ignores the more nuanced reality of our humanity—the interaction of four work, home, community, and the private self. The goal is to create harmony among them instead of thinking only in terms of trade-offs. It can be done.
Building on his national bestseller, Total Leadership , and on decades of research, teaching, and practice as both consultant and senior executive, Friedman identifies the critical skills for integrating work and the rest of life. He illustrates them through compelling original stories of these remarkable
• former Bain & Company CEO and Bridgespan co-founder Tom Tierney
• Facebook COO and bestselling author Sheryl Sandberg
• nonprofit leader and US Navy SEAL Eric Greitens
• US First Lady Michelle Obama
• soccer champion-turned-broadcaster Julie Foudy
• renowned artist Bruce Springsteen
Each of these admirable (though surely imperfect) people exemplifies a set of skills—for being real, being whole, and being innovative—that produce a sense of purpose, coherence, and optimism.
Based on interviews and research, their stories paint a vivid picture of how six very different leaders use these skills to act with authenticity, integrity, and creativity—and they prove that significant public success is accomplished not at the expense of the rest of life, but as the result of meaningful engagement in all its parts . With dozens of practical exercises for strengthening these skills, curated from the latest research in organizational psychology and related fields, this book will inspire you, inform you, and instruct you on how to take realistic steps now toward leading the life you truly want.
256 pages, Hardcover
First published September 16, 2014
60 people are currently reading
905 people want to read
About the author
Stewart D. Friedman
24 books47 followersStew Friedman is an organizational psychologist at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania, where he has been on the faculty since 1984. He founded Wharton’s Leadership Program and its Work/Life Integration Project. Friedman has been recognized by the biennial Thinkers50 global ranking of management thinkers every cycle since 2011 and was honored with its 2015 Distinguished Achievement Award as the foremost expert in the field of talent. He was listed among HR Magazine’s most influential thought leaders, chosen by Working Mother as one of America’s most influential men who have made life better for working parents, and presented with the Families and Work Institute’s Work Life Legacy Award.
While on leave from Wharton, Friedman was the senior executive responsible for leadership development at Ford, where he created Total Leadership. This program, now in use worldwide, measurably improves performance and well-being in all parts of life. His research is widely cited, including among Harvard Business Review’s “Ideas That Shaped Management,” and he has written two bestselling books, Total Leadership and Leading the Life You Want. His latest book is Parents Who Lead: The Leadership Approach You Need to Parent with Purpose, Fuel Your Career, and Create a Richer Life (March, 2020). Winner of many teaching awards, Friedman inspires students’ “rock star adoration,” according to the New York Times. He is an in-demand speaker, consultant, coach, workshop leader, and advocate for family-supportive policies. He hosts the SiriusXM Wharton Business Radio show and podcast, Work and Life.
While on leave from Wharton, Friedman was the senior executive responsible for leadership development at Ford, where he created Total Leadership. This program, now in use worldwide, measurably improves performance and well-being in all parts of life. His research is widely cited, including among Harvard Business Review’s “Ideas That Shaped Management,” and he has written two bestselling books, Total Leadership and Leading the Life You Want. His latest book is Parents Who Lead: The Leadership Approach You Need to Parent with Purpose, Fuel Your Career, and Create a Richer Life (March, 2020). Winner of many teaching awards, Friedman inspires students’ “rock star adoration,” according to the New York Times. He is an in-demand speaker, consultant, coach, workshop leader, and advocate for family-supportive policies. He hosts the SiriusXM Wharton Business Radio show and podcast, Work and Life.
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Displaying 1 - 26 of 26 reviews
January 16, 2016
Summary: be real, be whole, be innovative
Stew Friedman is the Practice Professor of Management at the Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania, and is featured in Thinkers 50
http://thinkers50.com/biographies/ste...
His webinar on 'Leading the Life You Want' can be found on the Wharton website
https://cessna.wharton.upenn.edu/webi...
He has a Massive Open Online Course (MOOC) on Total Leadership available on Coursera
https://www.coursera.org/course/total...
Are you leading the life you want?
Take this survey on the 18 questions that could change your life
https://jfe.qualtrics.com/form/SV_eKy...
Be real: act with authenticity by clarifying what's important
1. I know how important each of the different aspects of my life is to me.
2. I am able to be myself wherever I am, wherever I go. I act in ways that are consistent with my core values.
3. I make choices about how to spend my time and energy in ways that match what I really care about.
4. I tell stories about the key people and events that have shaped my values in a way that binds me to others.
5. I have a vision for where I am headed and the legacy I want to leave.
6. I hold myself accountable for doing what is most important to me in my life.
Be whole: Act with Integrity by Respecting the Whole Person
7. I communicate with people important to me about expectations we have of each other, and I make sure these expectations are clear.
8. I look for opportunities to help many different people.
9. I am able to convince people to support me in my goals.
10. I use skills and contacts from different parts of my life to help meet any need or goal.
11. I am able to delineate and maintain boundaries between the different parts of my life.
12. I am able to weave together the pieces of my life so that it has coherence.
Be innovative: Act with Creativity by Experimenting with How Things Get Done
13. I focus on the results of my efforts to accomplish goals and am flexible about the means for achieving them.
14. I seek creative solutions to conflicts rather than sacrifice one part of life for another.
15. I challenge traditional assumptions about how things are done, experimenting to make things better whenever possible.
16. I am willing to question old habits and innovate in managing life's demands.
17. I look forward to change—seeing it as an opportunity—rather than fear it.
18. I look for opportunities to encourage others to learn new ways of doing things.
Lifes featured: Bruce Springsteen, Tom Tierney, Sheryl Sandberg, Eric Greitens, Michelle Obama, and Julie Foudy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RcG88...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdvXC...
Stew Friedman is the Practice Professor of Management at the Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania, and is featured in Thinkers 50
http://thinkers50.com/biographies/ste...
His webinar on 'Leading the Life You Want' can be found on the Wharton website
https://cessna.wharton.upenn.edu/webi...
He has a Massive Open Online Course (MOOC) on Total Leadership available on Coursera
https://www.coursera.org/course/total...
Are you leading the life you want?
Take this survey on the 18 questions that could change your life
https://jfe.qualtrics.com/form/SV_eKy...
Be real: act with authenticity by clarifying what's important
1. I know how important each of the different aspects of my life is to me.
2. I am able to be myself wherever I am, wherever I go. I act in ways that are consistent with my core values.
3. I make choices about how to spend my time and energy in ways that match what I really care about.
4. I tell stories about the key people and events that have shaped my values in a way that binds me to others.
5. I have a vision for where I am headed and the legacy I want to leave.
6. I hold myself accountable for doing what is most important to me in my life.
Be whole: Act with Integrity by Respecting the Whole Person
7. I communicate with people important to me about expectations we have of each other, and I make sure these expectations are clear.
8. I look for opportunities to help many different people.
9. I am able to convince people to support me in my goals.
10. I use skills and contacts from different parts of my life to help meet any need or goal.
11. I am able to delineate and maintain boundaries between the different parts of my life.
12. I am able to weave together the pieces of my life so that it has coherence.
Be innovative: Act with Creativity by Experimenting with How Things Get Done
13. I focus on the results of my efforts to accomplish goals and am flexible about the means for achieving them.
14. I seek creative solutions to conflicts rather than sacrifice one part of life for another.
15. I challenge traditional assumptions about how things are done, experimenting to make things better whenever possible.
16. I am willing to question old habits and innovate in managing life's demands.
17. I look forward to change—seeing it as an opportunity—rather than fear it.
18. I look for opportunities to encourage others to learn new ways of doing things.
Lifes featured: Bruce Springsteen, Tom Tierney, Sheryl Sandberg, Eric Greitens, Michelle Obama, and Julie Foudy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RcG88...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdvXC...
July 9, 2015
I was disappointed in this book. The first half of the book was somewhat interesting. It contained 6 stories of high profile people such as Michelle Obama, Sheryl Sandberg and Bruce Springsteen. The stories highlighted the changes they made in their lives to integrate work and family. While I found them fascinating, there seemed to be holes in some of these stories. For example, Sheryl Sandberg said she works at home in the morning, works in the office from 9-5:30, then works again at home at night. As we finally put our kids to bed and look up to see the laundry, dishes and chores that need to be done, I'm wondering how that's possible without a full-time maid and chef. Her husband had a high-profile job as well so he couldn't do it either. It just didn't fit.
However, I found that Michelle Obama's story gave actual tips on how to make your family a priority.
The second half of the book I just didn't get at all.
However, I found that Michelle Obama's story gave actual tips on how to make your family a priority.
The second half of the book I just didn't get at all.
March 25, 2024
Este libro tiene 3 partes claramente establecidas: un primer capitulo de teoría sobre 3 valores y 18 habilidades para lograr una vida equilibrada entre tu trabajo o escuela, la familia, tu comunidad y Tú como individuo (a mi gusto, un capitulo de introducción árido y fuera de contexto). D0espués 6 capítulos con historias de 6 personas que supuestamente ejemplifican estos valores y habilidades. En la tercera y última parte, el autor sugiere ejercicios para desarrollar cada una de las 18 habilidades.
En mi opinión, este libro no contiene nada nuevo. Algunas ideas (pocas) bien sustentadas con investigación científica, pero muchas obviedades y generalizaciones. He leído otros libros mucho mejores al respecto. Si no lo han leído este, pueden ahorrárselo.
Friedman, S. (2014). Leading the Life You Want: Skills For Integrating Work and Life. Boston, MA, USA: Harvard Business School Publishing.
En mi opinión, este libro no contiene nada nuevo. Algunas ideas (pocas) bien sustentadas con investigación científica, pero muchas obviedades y generalizaciones. He leído otros libros mucho mejores al respecto. Si no lo han leído este, pueden ahorrárselo.
Friedman, S. (2014). Leading the Life You Want: Skills For Integrating Work and Life. Boston, MA, USA: Harvard Business School Publishing.
August 21, 2017
I found this book to be a bit disappointing and ended up speed reading through most of it. I felt that Stewart Friedman's other book, Total Leadership, was amazing. This is more of a complement/appendix to the prior book.
One of the messages from his prior book on being an effective leader is to be a great storyteller. He leverages the first half of the book to walk through examples of 6 people (Tom Tierney, Sheryl Sandberg, Eric Greitens, Michelle Obama, Julie Foudy, and Bruce Springsteen) who have exemplified total leadership in the four areas (self, home, community, and work).
The second half of the book has action items that you can take to help improve how you can:
be real (act with authenticity)
be whole (act with integrity)
be innovative (act with creativity)
One of the messages from his prior book on being an effective leader is to be a great storyteller. He leverages the first half of the book to walk through examples of 6 people (Tom Tierney, Sheryl Sandberg, Eric Greitens, Michelle Obama, Julie Foudy, and Bruce Springsteen) who have exemplified total leadership in the four areas (self, home, community, and work).
The second half of the book has action items that you can take to help improve how you can:
be real (act with authenticity)
be whole (act with integrity)
be innovative (act with creativity)
March 26, 2018
Great resource for coaches or for anyone looking to improve work/ life integration
May 27, 2020
I was excited to learn “skills for integrating work and life”, as it says right there on the cover, but this book had nothing to offer toward that goal.
July 11, 2021
Loved the first half of the book - full of inspirational, motivating stories from successful leaders. The second half of the book (the instructional part or how to guide) was a bit lacklustre.
June 25, 2015
Is it really possible to live all domains of your life to the fullest? For several years, Stewart Friedman offers us this resounding answer: YES.
In his latest book, Leading the Life You Want: Skills for Integrating Work and Life, Stew presented a very compelling argument that our life is not a zero-sum game. It is always possible for one to live his life in accordance with his values and aspirations.
The first part of the book presented us the stories of six (6) remarkable persons who were able lead the life they want by having the right skills of total leadership: be real, be whole, and be innovative. These sets of skills were properly espoused by these persons in their respective domains of life such as work, family, community, and self (mind, body, and spirit).
The second part of this work gave us several practical and very useful tips on how we can develop each of the skills in our life.
Stew was able to produce a very compelling idea with the use of his superb writing skills. The book was very easy to understand and at the same time captivating. Moreover, not only that he narrated the respective stories of the six featured persons here but he did his analysis of each lives very clearly and vividly.
Several reasons why one should read this book:
You will learn that it is possible to live an integrated life
Leading the life you want requires skills. Want to have these skills? Don't just read the book, practice what you will learn.
You can share the wisdom from this book so you can help your colleagues lead their lives better.
If you want to be a better leader, then you have to better lead yourself too. This book will help.
This book will help its reader better appreciate the nuances of everyday life.
In his latest book, Leading the Life You Want: Skills for Integrating Work and Life, Stew presented a very compelling argument that our life is not a zero-sum game. It is always possible for one to live his life in accordance with his values and aspirations.
The first part of the book presented us the stories of six (6) remarkable persons who were able lead the life they want by having the right skills of total leadership: be real, be whole, and be innovative. These sets of skills were properly espoused by these persons in their respective domains of life such as work, family, community, and self (mind, body, and spirit).
The second part of this work gave us several practical and very useful tips on how we can develop each of the skills in our life.
Stew was able to produce a very compelling idea with the use of his superb writing skills. The book was very easy to understand and at the same time captivating. Moreover, not only that he narrated the respective stories of the six featured persons here but he did his analysis of each lives very clearly and vividly.
Several reasons why one should read this book:
You will learn that it is possible to live an integrated life
Leading the life you want requires skills. Want to have these skills? Don't just read the book, practice what you will learn.
You can share the wisdom from this book so you can help your colleagues lead their lives better.
If you want to be a better leader, then you have to better lead yourself too. This book will help.
This book will help its reader better appreciate the nuances of everyday life.
June 3, 2015
Friedman analyzes six highly successful people - including Michelle Obama, Julie Foudy, and Bruce Springsteen - and identifies some of their key traits and the strategies they utilize in their lives. The book was only okay overall, but a few of the overall points did sink in. Largely, the idea of integrating your life and not trying to segregate "work" from "life". Since having kids, I've always tried to keep a very firm dividing line between work and home. Living that way, I realize that it only magnifies the feeling that I'm somehow wasting the time I spend at work. It's not good. Instead, if you approach work as being part of your life, and working to get the important things out of it, it becomes so much more rewarding. For example, I want to volunteer more. Instead of viewing this as something outside of work that I need to make time for, I now work for a company that offers many opportunities to volunteer in the community. It's a bonus at work and in life.
April 18, 2015
The book provides a refreshing look at the quest for work-life balance. Instead of looking at trade-offs, the author stresses creating harmony in four key areas (work/school, home/family, community, and mind-body-spirit) in one's life. As the author notes, "Successful people make it their business to be conscious of what and who matter most." The author provides various activities to help a reader assess his/her personal values and to develop skills for being real, being whole, and being innovative. I also enjoyed reading examples of six prominent individuals on how they apply the principles of being real, whole, and innovative in their lives. I think this book can be a great source for anyone, especially those who want to make changes in their lives.
January 1, 2015
While in Bora Bora, one of the books I read was Stewart Friedman’s Leading the Life You Want: Skills for Integrating Work and Life. It was “ok” so I ended up skimming a lot of it. But I picked up one great thing from it which made the entire book worthwhile.
In the section about Sheryl Sandberg and how she lives her life, there was a comment from her that one of the best gifts her husband David Goldberg gave her was “uncomplaining tech support.”
If you'd like to see what I did with this tidbit of information, take a look at http://www.feld.com/archives/2015/01/...
In the section about Sheryl Sandberg and how she lives her life, there was a comment from her that one of the best gifts her husband David Goldberg gave her was “uncomplaining tech support.”
If you'd like to see what I did with this tidbit of information, take a look at http://www.feld.com/archives/2015/01/...
January 4, 2016
I was disappointed by the book.
I started the book under the impression that it is about how to balance (integrate using the author's words) work and life. The book is more about how to change your life along your goals. Maybe that is the way for work-life balance, but there are many practical limits to what high profile people can do and what everyday reader can do. The stories in the book are interesting, but I am not sure the points are convincing.
I also dislike the fact that the author refers to his other book Total Leadership several times, and it feels like this book is an application of ideas in Total Leadership and you should read Total Leadership first, which I have not.
I started the book under the impression that it is about how to balance (integrate using the author's words) work and life. The book is more about how to change your life along your goals. Maybe that is the way for work-life balance, but there are many practical limits to what high profile people can do and what everyday reader can do. The stories in the book are interesting, but I am not sure the points are convincing.
I also dislike the fact that the author refers to his other book Total Leadership several times, and it feels like this book is an application of ideas in Total Leadership and you should read Total Leadership first, which I have not.
January 31, 2015
With an appealing title, best seller status, and glowing reviews from all sorts of respectable sources, I expected great things from Leading the Life You Want: Skills for Integrating Work and Life.
However, to put it simply: if you have ever read anything on leadership, business, and work/life balance, you won’t learn anything new from this book. At all.
{Read my full review here}
However, to put it simply: if you have ever read anything on leadership, business, and work/life balance, you won’t learn anything new from this book. At all.
{Read my full review here}
March 1, 2015
Author uses 6 famous people (Tom Tierney, Sheryl Sandberg, Eric Greitens, Michelle Obama, Julie Foudy, and Bruce Springsteen) to illustrate how they have achieved work-life balance (by "integrating" their lives). While it was interesting to read the bios of those profiled, I found it hard to imagine how what they did to integrate their lives would be applicable to me.
May 1, 2016
LOVE this book! A friend gave it to me and I can't thank her enough. the title says it all. Stewart Friedman give examples of 6 well known leaders and how they live their lives. Then he gives exercises and how to to put those lessons to your own life. HE also gives access to his website with additional tools to asses work life balance.
January 11, 2015
The examples n this book are really thought provoking ... I quite liked the way Stewart Friedman has synthesised his theory / framework for leading with the examples. Was worth the investment of time during the new year
November 2, 2014
Too many stories and not enough practical guidance.
Found myself losing interest. Disappointed
Found myself losing interest. Disappointed
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December 17, 2014PTI DL026675
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December 19, 2014Location: PTI IRC
Accession no: DL026675
Accession no: DL026675
February 1, 2015
Lots to think about. I liked the book so much, I signed up for a Coursera course related to the subject matter to be taught by Professor Friedman.
May 29, 2017
Integrating WORK. HOME. COMMUNITY and SELF So all WINS!
September 12, 2019
Really enjoyed this book encouraging us to consider ways to harmonize all aspects of our lives. Through harmony we find new ways of integrating work and life.
September 25, 2015
I thought that the mini-biographies at the beginning of this book were interesting, but the second half was kind of dry and the exercises sounded boring. Overall, it was ok.
February 28, 2017
Half stories, half exercises. Without constructing a long term framework for the exercises on my own, it's hard to see how they would break me into better habits.
May 13, 2018
buying the book because it was the best selling book in the shop , and the attactive title , there are 6 stories in the book , were all the stories were told to be related to what the book introduce to be " true " " complete" and "creative " yet i found those are just stories telling .
disappointed
disappointed
Displaying 1 - 26 of 26 reviews