Sorry for the Inconvenience: A Memoir

by Farah Naz Rishi

From a Pakistani American author comes a bracing memoir about tradition, upending expectations, and the volatility of family, friendship, and, inevitably, love.

Pakistani American Farah Naz Rishi’s first year of college was perfectly, thankfully, uneventful. After all, she was in college to learn and forge a path of self-sufficiency, especially after her last relationship fell apart—dashing her mother’s aspirations for an early marriage. What could Farah expect, anyway? For the ideal guy to just conveniently waltz into her life? Life isn’t a love story.

Enter Stephen, a Jamaican student with an open smile and a disarmingly laid-back attitude. It’s not love at first sight. And there’s no way Farah’s mother would approve of him as marriage material. But they have something an inexplicable connection. Through a series of impossible tragedies, grief, and trying to find her place in the world, Stephen is always there as Farah’s confidant, champion, and, most of all, best friend. Anything more could ruin a perfectly good thing… Right?

Spanning thirteen years of complex family dynamics and a surprising kinship, Farah Naz Rishi’s story explores the unpredictability of love—familial, platonic, and romantic, but never truly instant.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Biography, Romance, Biography Memoir, Autobiography, Audiobook

290 pages, Kindle Edition

First published July 1, 2024

About the author

Farah Naz Rishi is a Pakistani-American Muslim writer and voice actor, but in another life, she’s worked stints as a lawyer, a video game journalist, and an editorial assistant. She received her B.A. in English from Bryn Mawr College, her J.D. from Lewis & Clark Law School, and her love of weaving stories from the Odyssey Writing Workshop. When she’s not writing, she’s probably hanging out with video game characters. You can find her at home in Philadelphia, or on Twitter at @far_ah_way.

Reviews

[Azanta (azantareads) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Farah Naz Rishi, Michelle Zauner, and I (and a lot more people) all have one thing in common: a difficult relationship with our immigrant moms. therefore see: me bawling my eyes out for a honest-to-goodness half of the book. if and when you read this, i urge you to read it with or just listen to the audiobook, narrated by Farah herself. she is an excellent and very talented audiobook narrator and telling her own story (even if you’ve heard it from TikTok) makes the gut punch a little bit more real. i’ve known Farah’s story from the bits and pieces that she’s told on TikTok but to read it in an incredibly well-written memoir has been simultaneously an honor to learn more about her and a heartbreaking experience. to walk with her along her journey as she learns about love and loss and all the while, falls deeply in love with the love of her life. Farah, i've learned so much about myself, faith, and what it means to look for your soulmate through this book and i deeply thank you for sharing your story with us. what an honor it has been to read it ❤️

[SS · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5 rounded up. The Amazon blurb on this book sells it very differently - it seems as though it is centered on the author's struggle to marry someone not accepted by her family. Instead, this is a tough read full of death, suicide, and emotional struggles. I felt as though her relationship, although woven throughout, was not the focus at all, and I couldn't quite get a grasp of what the point/theme of the memoir is meant to be. I sympathize with her and the pain she's been through. I also think this memoir was written about 10-15 years sooner than it should have been - I feel as though with more time, there would be a more mature perspective. I don't want to go into specifics, since I can't bring myself to call her out for her behavior in situations that were already very painful for her to deal with. I was also baffled by how the book seemed to be building up to something just to drop it or brush it aside. For example, the Stephen resolution (and may I say what an utter SAINT that guy is?) We certainly aren't entitled to details of their romance, but if that's going to be one of the central stories of the book, how can we not even be told how the relationship went from friendship to more? It was so vague! And then it seemed as though there was extreme shadiness around her mother's handling of her father's will, and then although we're told that Stephen was fighting to make things right on that end, we have no idea how it was resolved, what was involved, etc. Again, I understand these are personal details - but this is a memoir which dangled these "storylines" in front of us, then . . . nothing. I like the author's general writing style, but was found this memoir to be a frustrating read.

[Ramishah · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m actually sobbing while writing this so sorry if it doesn’t make sense but here we go:

I just finished 5 seconds ago and this is one of the best books I’ve EVER READ.

Farah’s memoir was completely GUT WRENCHING, heartbreaking, powerful with moments of sweet tenderness sprinkled through I could cry all night. The way she wrote certain scenes you could feel her complete emotions right in your heart.

Being a Pakistani Muslim American myself I resonated so much with the description of Farah’s relationships specifically with faith and God.

I feel so honored to have read this and I just admire her resilience. Reading about her life, her relationships with her brother, parents & partner she takes you through her childhood to adulthood showcasing hardships & her growth while also making you fall in love with her love story as she is herself.

Reminding yourself that this is a memoir and how much she has lived through just leaves me in complete awe.

I’m so proud of you Farah!

Pls check TW’s before reading.

[Auden Dar · Rating 5 out of 5]

After turning off my kindle, I reached for my iPhone and punched in my mom’s number. No one would answer; she passed away ten years ago. But I needed to call and thank her for being my mother.

I didn’t cry while reading Sorry for the Inconvenience, but I was moved in a way I hadn’t felt in years. A desperate longing to hug my mom. To hug my dad.

We all grieve in our own way. Years pass, and we believe we’ve moved on.

And after reading this beautiful memoir, I realize, I’m still grieving.

[Thya (wiltedpages) · Rating 5 out of 5]

apologies in advance if this review is choppy, i had to cut out some parts that included spoilers - i'll post the full review closer to the pub date.

a memoir told from the point of view of farah naz rishi, sorry for the inconvenience details her life from her freshman year at college to a little more than a decade after, with bits and pieces of her childhood mixed in.

freshman year of college, in a japanese civilization class, farah meets stephen, who at first glance, irks her for some reason. maybe because he came into class five minutes late. or maybe because he wore flip-flops and shorts in winter. after a group project, they slowly become friends, best friends, that play video games together and talk about everything and nothing. he starts reading and learning about islam and coparents the cat she adopts in her dorm.
a familiar struggle that i’m sure a lot of children of immigrants understand, especially in desi culture (their family is pakistani) is that parents expect their kids to choose a “practical” subject to study so that they have a “stable” career, both of which i put in quotes because there’s no such thing as a steady job, and every subject can be practical. nevertheless, you know i'm talking about careers like lawyers and engineers. farah wants to be a writer, and shaz wants to play piano - you can imagine how those conversations went.

although this book has a lot going on, the one consistent thing is how stephen is always there for her. whether as a background character or a supporting one, the one constant is him. even though i already knew they were still married in real life, it didn't spoil anything for me because this book is character-driven and not plot-driven.

in terms of writing, farah naz rishi has a way with words that had me crying every few pages. whether that was because so much of her story parallels my life, or because she’s just that talented, you decide (it can be both for the record). the little comments scattered around the book about how stephen deleted a dating app hours after she made him create a profile, how he’s never really dated, all culminated in the last chapter, as she has her epiphany about her feelings. the buildup didn’t disappoint, and i loved how it got less and less subtle as the book went on.

all in all, this is genuinely the best book i’ve read this year and i can’t wait to see what else farah writes.

[Jenny · Rating 5 out of 5]

Farah's book was incredibly moving, strong, and interspersed with beautiful, heart-touching moments. When I finished this memoir, I was at a loss for words. You could sense the full range of her emotions in your heart because of the way she written some moments.
I'm not exaggerating when I say that this is the most exquisite book I've read this year.

As she opens up to us, Farah—a Muslim immigrant from Pakistan—reveals the intricacies of her troubled family, the close relationship she has with her siblings, and the steadfast support of her best friend. She starts her writing journey, investigates her beliefs, and works through the conflict between her two identities and cultural expectations.

Farah reveals the most trying times in her life and is incredibly honest about her experiences. In the process of determining what kind of life she wants, we learn about her struggles with complex grief, cultural expectations, and generational cycles and loss. I am grateful that she shared her story with us.

I really enjoyed reading this, and I will definitely check out more of her future works!

[Michele Koff · Rating 3 out of 5]

sad story

Although I can understand the author's angst I found her to be self absorbed and selfish. Maybe because I am from an older generation. Her father paid for her to go to law school. He was dying and wanted to see his daughter pass the bar. Why couldn't she do that for him. A few more months and then she could do whatever she wanted. And if she wasn't going to follow her fathers dream then why didn't she encourage her younger brother to follow his dream of music?

[Megan Everitt · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 ⭐️ (Amazon kindle first reads) I’m not sure how I feel about this book- and I have icky feelings about criticizing someone’s memoir, but it was just an ok book for me. The story was an interesting look into a culture unlike my own, a parent/child dynamic that was beyond hard, and a relationship w a guy who seemed almost too perfect and loved her for years but she took 10 years to decide she loved him too. I wanted to know how it ended and it was a bit abruptly, but I was also glad to turn the last page.

[Jack Swanzy · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is more an extended self analysis than a memoir. The author has been published several times so I was hoping for more polished writing and more self awareness.

[MARIKA GIBSON · Rating 1 out of 5]

I am a Westerner living in a Middle Eastern country in which roughly 60% of the population is South Asian and I was curious to read a memoir of a Pakistani woman who was raised, not in Pakistan or in the Middle East, but in the U.S.
I think the full title for this book should have been “Sorry for the Inconvenience; Memoir of a Narcissist.”
There was little insight into the lives of Farah’s family except through the author’s egocentric eyes; the book centered around an entitled, spoiled, whiny, narcissistic, pessimistic, mean-spirited, clueless, immature, petty young woman who blames every problem in her life on her parents.
Spoiler alert: when her father really needed her, she took off for something that she wanted to do. When her mother began to buy and do things for herself, the author criticized her because she believed that, instead, her mother should have given the money to the author (25 years old at the time) and her brother.
And what was wrong with Stephen?
I know this is a Memoir so it should be truthful, but to read about someone who is certain the world revolves around her and constantly whines that everything that happens to her is someone else’s fault is tiresome, annoying and simply sad. And, as an avid reader, I really hate to see so many grammatical errors.
I can’t think of a reason to recommend the book.

[Paulina Przyborowska]

Almost a DNF. It's hard to rate someone's memoir, but this was poorly written. Whiny, dragged out, tried making something out of nearly nothing. She lived a relatively average privileged life. The tragedy with her brother was the deepest heartache. I skimmed most of it and didn't miss much. It felt like it droned on just to fill pages. It's like a story that just wouldn't end. Like being at an event and someone starts talking to you, you're done with the convo, but you can't get away because they don't take a break to breathe. It was like that. I just wanted it to end.

[sara سارة]

i'm not going to be rating this book, since it is a memoir. this was an author's life, hardship, and experience. it's not a random fictional story where i can judge the characters or dislike the plot.

instead, i'm going to share some quotes i highlighted:

''What if it wasn't that at all? What if love was a patient thing that simply stood at your side, offering you a hand?''

''The profound, perhaps inevitable realization that your parents are just people- with flaws and imperfections- feels like mourning.''

''Love- maybe love simply sees you in a room when no one else does. Love was a pat on the head at the end of a hard day, a kind word of acknowledgement in a world so damn hard to live in.''

''That's the beauty of siblings, I think. You don't need words.''

''But real, meaningful change needs no announcment. Real change speaks for itself.''

''You are trained since birth to put others before you, to put family first, while you remain an afterthought even to yourself. All the while, you are also a translator and therapist, advocate and secretary. You are a punching bag and a guinea pig.''

''Except cruelty can also be stealthy and insidious. Like dismissing one's feelings, over and over again- until one day you start to forget how to feel anything. And even if you can point out to it, name it, it's often too late.''

''Not that I'd understoof any of that at the time. But I wanted love. I wanted to love and be loved in return.''

''I didn't know what a normal mother-daughter relationship was supposed to look like.''

''Perhaps this is why we forgive people who don't deserve it: nostaliga is a hell of a drug. It blurred all the bad, brightened the scant good, and told you pretty lies.''

please do check TWs before reading this book, the topics metioned are really heavy. i did almost dnf because it was just too much. i did read this is 2 sittings though, honestly could not put it down.

[C A Gentle · Rating 3 out of 5]

I got this book free from Amazon First Reads. It sounded really interesting and I was keen to read a book about someone's experience of cultural expectations, living in a different society etc. It wasn't really what I expected, I found some of it interesting and moving, but mostly it was rambling at times, I wasn't sure what point was being made and I could not really relate to the author at all. I think I enjoyed the first half (honestly not sure I can remember it clearly enough) but really felt it got more eye rolling at it went on. I would give it 2.5 stars.

[Valter Ezerins · Rating 2 out of 5]

Misleading title

Sigh, if this is a memoir then it is one from a rather selfish person. Never any mention of what she did for others. Gosh was she lucky to encounter Steven. He showed incredible devotion and got very little back in return.

[SL · Rating 4 out of 5]

i cried, i cried, i cried but there is hope—

---

TW/CW: family death; illness (cancer, ALS); suicide; sexual assault; self harm; eating disorder.

“I remember how my dad once marveled at the mundane. This felt like one of those small marvels. Us, here, now. In the warmth of our little home, the world was quiet and kind and simple and ours.”

I adored Rishi’s YA novel, “It All Comes Back to You,” and have followed her since. Like many others, I also eagerly followed Rishi’s TikTok videos on her marriage of convenience to her best friend–so this memoir was one of my highly anticipated reads once it was announced.

This memoir heavily surrounds grief as Farah Naz Rishi navigates the tragedy of her family’s deaths (first her father, then brother, then mother).

I’ve found myself wondering why I’m always so drawn to stories of grief. I think it’s because grief is inevitable and inextricable to the human experience. Despite the fact that we turn into dirt and dust, we still love and have hope and choose to live and see the beauty of the mundane–and this memoir echoes that entirely.

I was very moved by the memoir; I cried multiple times, especially regarding Farah’s brother, Shaz. While sharing her experiences of losing her family, she also discusses intergenerational trauma, complicated family dynamics, expectations of immigrant children/eldest daughters, her Pakistani-American identity, her faith, and of course, love. (Stephen is truly such a sweetheart! They make me believe in love!!)

Overall, an engaging, honest, and compelling memoir; what a gift it is to have read it. I’d love to revisit and listen to the audiobook one day (narrated by the author herself)!

[Sarah Hengstenberg · Rating 5 out of 5]

For someone only in her (early?) 30’s this girl has lived a life! Wow. So much heartache, struggle, and self discovery in such a short time. This book was well written and engaging the entire way through and makes me want to read more by this author.

[Nellie (Nellie Reads A Lot) · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don't think saying I enjoyed "Sorry for the Inconvenience" is the correct phrase; instead, I felt it. Farah is heartbreakingly honest with her experiences and shares the most challenging moments of her life. We read about her dealing with generational cycles, cultural expectations, and complicated grief on her journey to figuring out what she wants life to look like. This was such an amazing read, and I plan to explore her fiction works!

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for an egalley of this book for an honest review.

[Pamela · Rating 3 out of 5]

an easy read, engaging

There were some elements lacking. Mainly, when did her relationship become romantic?
It did not give me a very good impression of her. She had many opportunities, much support, she was very fortunate and very critical of others. She seemed rather lazy and certainly ungrateful. It took her a very long time to grow up. If she ever did.
I would like to read Stephen’s memoir. What did he see in her? Maybe he was a rescuer. He was certainly the hero.

[jas]

i remember seeing the original tiktok for this story at least a year ago now and so happy for the author detailing her love story but also incredible grief. i can’t wait to read it.

[Ayushi (bookwormbullet) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ily Farah, you deserve the world 🫶

[F I · Rating 5 out of 5]

Devoured this book, as a Muslim Pakistani American couldn’t be prouder of how she represented the diversity in our culture.

[Emily · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars. I had seen Farah’s viral TikTok about falling in love with her best friend over the years after they had already gotten into a marriage of convenience, so I was curious and excited to read her memoir. I didn’t realize that she had a narcissistic mother and deeply dysfunctional family. This memoir centers more on her emotional abuse, trauma, and grief than on her relationship with Stephen.

Some sections were boring and felt like filler—their college days weren’t that interesting, and her toxic boss at her publishing job was predictable and including those stories didn’t add much.

I’ve seen some reviews comparing this to Crying in H Mart, and I think a major difference is that Farah could see her moms flaws and abuse for what they were, and went to years of therapy to come to that realization and try to be her true self. Michelle Zauner never came to terms with her mother’s abuse and romanticized her instead. Personally, having a mom similar to their moms, it still seemed like Farah still cared too much about her mother at times. For example, when her mother asks for Joe on her deathbed, Farah becomes furious and views that as a deep betrayal. I was surprised that given all the therapy she’d been through, she hadn’t yet realized her mom would never change. Why should she care about her mom wanting Joe on her deathbed?

The ending was a bit abrupt. Overall, this was engaging and thoughtful, however, I felt it would have been stronger with a bit more focus and time spent healing and processing.

Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for the ARC!

[Shannon · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a really moving coming of age memoir by Pakistani American YA author as she shares her struggle growing up trying to please her parents, her brother's bisexual coming out story and depression, her college friendship with Jamaican/South Asian boy and her pursuit of writing as a full time career instead of becoming a lawyer like her father wanted. She talks about her father's cancer and death, her mother's ALS diagnosis, her own chronic IBS condition and the way she also struggled with suicidal ideation and finding happiness. Great on audio read by the author herself, this latest Mindy Kaling pick was a fantastic read with a gorgeous cover! Many thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an early audio copy in exchange for my honest review!

[-ˏˋjamieˊˎ- · Rating 5 out of 5]

a heartbreaking but hopeful memoir (and one of my fav instances of friends-to-lovers that i've read?)

note: this book is not really focused on the romance, but more about all the ups and downs in Farah Naz Rishi's life.

i went into the story blind, and i'm glad i did! Farah's complicated relationship with her parents and the tragedies she went through were hard to read, but it was balanced out by her beautiful friendships, especially with Stephen and Shaz. i would've loved just a little more detail on the development of Farah and Stephen's relationship, bc it was so subtle that i couldn't really tell when they became more than friends, but it was clear that the more important part was Stephen's unwavering and unconditional support. it was also really inspiring to see Farah's writing journey; i hope to read more from her!

[Maggi Noodles ࣪˖ ཐིཋྀ (semi-hiatus) · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 ★

[Sadia · Rating 4 out of 5]

A heartbreaking memoir showcasing how true love (romantic, friendly, in any form) can get you through the most difficult of times.

[jia]

decided to listen to this on my way to work and ended sobbing in the tube.

[Danielle DeLorenzo · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’m jealous because this is the coolest title for a memoir ever. I’m all for a platonic love that turns into an even greater love story. A friendly read, that breaks your heart. Enjoyed it immensely.

[Ratk · Rating 1 out of 5]

dnf, didn't like the writing style

[Mads]

I don't like to rate memoirs but I give this 🩷5/5