The Unfiltered Enneagram: A Witty and Wise Guide to Self-compassion

by Elizabeth Orr

Most Enneagram books today focus on stroking ego rather than challenging it. These pages are filled with a no-frills, hilarious reckoning with the ways we cope when facing stress or fear - aka our shadow sides - while unlocking the life-changing wisdom of the Enneagram.

The Unfiltered Enneagram offers 'practical strategies for liberating yourself from your own garbage,' writes Elizabeth Orr. She believes that when we learn from both our healthy and shadow sides, we can jumpstart genuine, practical growth and actually begin to love the whole of ourselves.

Readers will discover how courageously and comically acknowledging the worst attributes of their Enneagram type can surprisingly bring out the best in them.

Filled with laugh-out-loud descriptions, sobering truths, and inspiring prompts, each chapter is an under-the-rug look at the nine Enneagram

Type One - R Is for Reformer (and Resentment)Type Two - Self-Sacrifice with Some Serious Strings AttachedType Three - Hall of Mirrors in a House of CardsType Four - Feelin' Misunderstood (and I'm Going to Make it Your Problem)Type Five - When Intellectual Maximalism meets Emotional MinimalismType Six - Who Needs Trust When I've Got Projection?Type Seven - The Paradoxical Paralysis of Making Too Many Awesome PlansType Eight - Large, in Charge, and Just This Side of BelligerentType Nine - Comfortably Numb (and Impressively Stubborn)

Insightful for long-time enthusiasts, pragmatic for newer fans, and hilarious and accessible to all, The Unfiltered Enneagram shines a generous light on the good, the bad and the ugly side of you - inviting you to see that the only way to find self-compassion is to embrace wholeness.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Psychology, Humor, Audiobook, Spirituality, Mental Health

226 pages, Kindle Edition

First published April 2, 2024

About the author

Elizabeth Orr serves as the associate chaplain for spiritual formation at Wake Forest and is the creator of the popular Rude Ass Enneagram Instagram account. She holds a bachelor’s degree in history from Stonehill College, a master’s degree in pastoral ministry, and a certificate in spiritual formation and direction from Boston College School of Theology and Ministry.

Reviews

[Amy ☾ · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved this fun approach to the enneagram! And it opened my mind to ponder aspects of my own enneagram and how to challenge it to become more compassionate of myself and the world

[Allison · Rating 4 out of 5]

First, thanks to NetGalley, Convergent Books, and my fave insta enneagram gal Liz for an ARC of this book!!! 🤩

Before you ask, yep, it’s another enneagram book hahaha. I’m not going to tell you there’s any massive revelations that you wouldn’t have read somewhere else in these pages, but it’s information being told in ways you haven’t heard in those enneagram books!! 🤪 Liz keeps it witty and rude and sassy and compassionate and loving and gloriously HER in this book, just like she does on her IG!

My friends and I have been interested in the enneagram for several years and Liz’s account is the one that we all follow. If you peruse her Instagram account, you’ll get an idea for what you’re in for in The Unfiltered Enneagram. I obvi enjoyed reading the chapter about 5s (me) and getting some tough love from Liz. I have friends across all the types, and reading through the chapters, I had so much fun teasing and sending sassy excerpts regarding their enneagram to each 😂

I have several friends who have their copy pre-ordered and a couple who also received the ARC and enjoyed it. Def recommend if you’re interested in a fun primer on the subject, too!

[gina · Rating 5 out of 5]

If there’s one thing outside of books that I find fun to talk about it’s the enneagram.
Captured in my bio, I’m am a Type 1, proud and extremely flawed 😂

📖For those who don’t know The Enneagram:
This concept is a personality/motivation identification tool that helps you know how you can work better with people around you and be an asset to others who don’t carry your strengths. Much like Myers-Briggs personality types, the enneagram dives deep into your identity and the fears/talents that might be associated with your type.

📖For those who know The Enneagram:
…. liz makes this a fun and heartfelt approach to poke fun and heal yourself at the same time. She does a great job of clueing you in on some basic ways to keep your head above water and understand how someone like you can really do great things in the world. 🌍

For some fun, I included my favorite quotes from the book on each enneagram type! Let me know which ones you like the best 😂

✨If you are looking to read this book (which you should it’s hilarious), make sure you know your enneagram type or take one of the free tests you can find online!

[Rachel | All the RAD Reads · Rating 5 out of 5]

if you’re a fan of @rudeassenneagram or want to be read to filth while also being helped (kind of like how really good therapy feels), this is the book for you. it had me like hahahahashutupyesthatsrealwowokaySTOPthathurtthankyou every page BUT IN THE BEST WAY, ya know? swipe for some pages about being an #enneagram1 — i can’t stop thinking about pursuing alignment over perfection. what a life-giving shift!!!

big fan of this one. (and i think many enneagram things are silly these days so that’s saying something.) it hits hard and is wholly honest and hella helpful and really good.

read it and grow.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️— amazing.

big thanks to @convergent_books of @randomhouse for sending a copy my way! #gifted

[Dana · Rating 5 out of 5]

(Thanks to the author and NetGalley for an ARC!) Yes, another Enneagram book. But this one is FUNNY. And RUDE. And delightful. A refreshing take on something so many folks take super-seriously, The Unfiltered Enneagram gave me new and better language for understanding both the the tool AND myself. She may be a rude-ass, but this book is drenched in love and compassion. Who says we can't be both?

[y · Rating 5 out of 5]

I, a Type Six (aka the Loyal Skeptic), got read to filth and I still came back for more. 10/10, no notes, absolutely read like I was being roasted in a comedy show.

[Holly · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fun, voicey quick read if you like enneagram stuff. The structure was enjoyable.

[Alex Morgan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing read!!! Funny and clever with a big sprinkle of snark. It had me feeling offended and seen all at once. Liz Orr (correctly) predicted my impatience in getting to my type but it was worth the wait to learn in context and to learn about people I love along the way. Would recommend!!!!

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve read a silly amount of enneagram books, so wasn’t sure if I wanted to read another. I’m so glad I read this one as it approaches the enneagram with humor (I laughed out loud more than once) and focuses on loving yourself despite your flaws. I highly recommend this book whether you are well versed in the enneagram or you know nothing about it!

[Addy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is probably the best Enneagram book I've read to date. It's goal is to improve self-compassion, and the book provides so many tools and insights to do that. Orr explains the Enneagram in a way that actually makes sense, unlike a lot of the more theoretical Enneagram works, but that doesn't rely on stereotypes, like a lot of the basic intro-to-Enneagram books. This book focuses on the WHY of each type's behavior, which is the most important part of the Enneagram. Orr is unflinchingly honest and forward in each type's section and doesn't beat around the bush in her critiques of toxic behavior. She truly provides the reader with an accurate outside perspective of their behavior with explanation and compassionate understanding. Plus, it's funny and entertaining instead of being slow and boring! This is great to learn more about/work on yourself, and to see inside the heads of loved ones with different types. Highly, highly recommend.

[Lexi · Rating 5 out of 5]

“The Unfiltered Enneagram” is a fresh resource on the topic of the enneagram. I have read several enneagram books, and I’m familiar with the system. This book was educational to me, demonstrating some new concepts I haven’t heard about before. Rather than focusing just on information, the author’s purpose is to encourage self-reflection and improvement with humor along the way. I really enjoyed this author’s voice, and the way she used humor to help the audience adjust to the unhealthy aspects of the enneagram types.

Many thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for the opportunity to read this ARC in exchange for an honest review.

[Amy Ellis · Rating 4 out of 5]

I listened to my type chapter on audio, and then immediately bought the book to have on my shelves as a reference. While I wish it had more wing and relational info, this book is exactly what it says it is—straight up, unfiltered information about the strengths and weaknesses of your Enneagram type. There isn’t a typing test in here, so this is a good book for people already confident about what their type is. This book lays out the truth of your type without sugar-coating anything: you will be nodding along while you’re cringing at the same time.

[Krista · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was so excited about this book and I’m happy to report that my excitement was warranted. You will see yourself (and hopefully others) in a new light after processing through Liz Orr’s wit and compassion.

Liz approaches the Enneagram from a different angle than a lot of the larger Enneagram community. Because of this, she makes the Enneagram a more approachable tool for self knowledge and ultimately healing.

This will be a book you want on your bookshelf to go back to over and over again.

[Stephanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5-4 ⭐️ If you’re somehow new to the enneagram & want a clear, deep dive that’s not too long-winded, this would be a great book for you! I thought the chapter on my own type was accurate & fair, while incredibly challenging in being confronted with many of my weaknesses. Chapters on types of people I’m close with were helpful in reminding me of ways to see their perspectives. (To be completely honest, I did skim a few chapters on types for whom I don’t have anyone I’m very close with)

[Kelly Pramberger · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm often chatting about what number I am. Wondering what I mean? Check out this book and learn more. I think Orr's is a helpful tool to explain the enneagram, and I enjoyed the way the information was presented. Sometimes it can be a heavy and dense topic, but they did this in a lighter way. I thought it was really well done. I'll be telling my enneagram loving friends all about it. Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC.

[Olivia Hall · Rating 4 out of 5]

Funny, insightful, absolutely went for the throat and I feel attacked and supported in the best way

[Deb · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars—a different approach to the enneagram that is fun (when it’s not kicking you in the teeth) and enlightening. Having taken a few years off from reading about this, I enjoyed revisiting it.

[Kara · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5 stars

[Julie Williams · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love Orr's writing style and sense of voice. I've read many Enneagram books and this was the most fun (and quickest) read.

[LZW · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was such a refreshing take on the education of Enneagram! Loved that the author encouraged self reflection of the reader while using humor and sarcasm to fuel self improvement!

[Adrianna Heaney-velu · Rating 4 out of 5]

“The Unfiltered Enneagram” by Elizabeth Orr

I loved the information in this book. It made me want to read the entire thing front to back and not to skip to my enneagram alone. As a 6 I was worried that the information wouldn’t be useful in my life, but it has great ideas to help me on how to approach my life to enhance it. This book is a self-help guide with enneagram focus and is completely spot on. As I know my entire family’s enneagram numbers, I can also give better advice to them. I really liked this book and gave it a 4 out of 5 stars.

[Stephanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

As someone who has studied the Enneagram and finds it useful in personal growth, I was curious to see how the author would traverse bringing humor to the subject while maintaining credibility. This book has a lot of great and useful information and uses humor not to stereotype each type but to bring some additional insights. I appreciated that she stepped away from the pop culture phenomenon of using type to be all-defining and by extension limiting (ie. all 8's are raving control freaks.). She also refers to some of the leaders in the field and references their work offering additional depth to her work.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the advance copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
The Unfiltered Enneagram is available now.

[Julia Shelburne · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book discusses the 9 Enneagram types. I enjoy reading about the Enneagram, but this book just was not for me. I like the idea of employing humor to reflect on motivations and behaviors, but did not find this as humorous as I hoped it would be. I also did not love the tone, writing style, and sometimes even the content. I liked the general outline of the book though. I am sure some other folks will appreciate this perspective on the Enneagram more. Thank you NetGalley and Convergent Books for this advanced copy. All opinions are my own.

[Panda Incognito · Rating 2 out of 5]

I have read a lot of books about the Enneagram in recent years, since I've found it helpful for personal growth and for better understanding some of my fictional characters. This book isn't the worst that I've read, but it's near the bottom of the barrel. I would only recommend this to fans of the author's popular Instagram account, and even then, I'm not sure how much of the material would actually be new to her existing following.

The first chapters cover some Enneagram basics and clear up some common myths and misconceptions, and the author explains her vision for the book. Basically, she recognizes how people often use the Enneagram typing system as a way to justify their bad behavior, and she wants people to recognize how self-knowledge and self-compassion can help them grow, instead of staying stuck in unhealthy patterns. I appreciate that, and I totally agree that the Enneagram gets misused as an ego-stroking, self-justifying exercise, when it's really a path to emotional and spiritual development.

However, her approach throughout the book is alternately harsh and patronizing, and even though the snarky tone is supposed to be humorous, I think I only laughed once. I didn't find this clever, and mostly just felt like the author was trying too hard. I don't have anything against snarky or dark humor, but this just felt harsh, and despite the publisher's claims that this book is "witty" and "hilarious," I rarely even found it amusing.

In the chapters about each of the nine Enneagram types, the author shares a lot of really basic information in a harsh, off-putting way, going back and forth between blasting people for their perceived failings and then saying things like, "Oh, my sweet [type]..." when sharing encouragements and advice. It felt really patronizing to me, and she makes lots of sweeping statements about what people are thinking, feeling, and doing, without accounting for differences in people's personalities or maturity levels, even within a single type.

She assumes that everyone is expressing the most dysfunctional and immature versions of their type, and she also suggests that if you balk at these descriptions, that's just because you see yourself in them and don't want to face your dark side. I can assure you that I balked at descriptions of every type, not just mine. I also don't think that the self-compassion side came through well.

I found this book much too harsh, without enough humor or good advice to offset the negativity. The author suggests different paradigm shifts and practices that the different types can adopt, but none of them stood out to me. The whole book is pretty basic. The author doesn't say anything new, and just says familiar things in a different way. If her tone appeals to and amuses someone, then it can be a good fit, but I didn't find anything fresh or helpful here for myself.

Also, even though this is from a Christian publisher, there is no faith-based content. The author is a university chaplain, but she explains at the beginning of the book that because of young people's suspicion against organized religion, she's just going to talk in general and pluralistic terms, without bringing her faith into it. That's her choice, and it's a fine approach, but the mismatch between her intent and the marketing is frustrating. If this hadn't been listed as Christian nonfiction on NetGalley, I wouldn't have requested this, and wouldn't have wasted my time on it.

I read a temporary digital copy from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

[M. K. French · Rating 5 out of 5]

Most books on the Enneagram will give outlines for each of the numbered types that people will try to explore to figure out who they are, what their friends or family likely are, or what book characters will be. In this book, instead of descriptions that feel generic, Elizabeth Orr explores the shadows of each Enneagram type. She lists the core beliefs, fears, defense mechanisms and vices of each type. It's all done in down to earth language, it really feels like you're sitting with someone knowledgeable about the topic outlining the things you really needed to know that simply aren't found in most books.

I love how approachable this is, because other books I've read on the topic seem to make sense in the moment but are ultimately forgettable. This one has a very conversational style, and there are even action plans at the end of each chapter so that each personality type can look inside themselves and start doing the work to reverse the nasty habits they developed with time. I feel this is the best part of each chapter for readers to take away.

This is a deceptively slim volume that you can read through quickly, yet come back to time and again to gain more wisdom from it.

[Nick Johnson · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Unfiltered Enneagram is an honest and humorous look at a long standing personality assessment and growth tool. Personally, I love the Enneagram and, for that reason alone, have read a number of books on it. In her “Author’s Note” to start the book, Elizabeth Orr says that what she’s written “is not principally about the Enneagram,” but rather about self-compassion gained through use of the Enneagram. Truthfully, I’m not really sure that that came through for me. I did love the questions at the end of every chapter that stimulated this thinking a bit (especially for my dominant type and wing) but I don’t think that thread of self-compassion was very dominant throughout the entire text - at least not any more than any other Enneagram book I’ve read.

It’s a fun read, that’s definitely lighter and more humorous than other books that I’ve read on the topic, but not worth buying if you’re looking to get a whole lot more than what you’ve previously read on the subject matter.

The book itself is well put together and based on that merit alone deserves four stars.

Thanks to Convergent Publishing and NetGalley for the advanced copy in exchange for an honest review.

[Rachel · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Unfiltered Enneagram was a funny and refreshing take on the Enneagram. I've read a few different books on it and listened to podcasts, and most of them have approached it from the traditional/Christian approach, and hadn't seen Elizabeth Orr's Instagram account. When I read the synopsis for The Unfiltered Enneagram, it sounded like a lighthearted, fun, more in-your-face take, and when I started reading the intros for each of the nine types, I just started laughing because it didn't mince words, in the best way. Orr almost does a mini roast of each number, calling them out on their BS, before going into strengths, weaknesses, core fears, motivations, and other aspects. It's backed up with legitimate, reliable, solid information though, and the sarcastic, straightforward, but kind and caring delivery helps you digest the Enneagram in a new way. It's a great book for anyone interested in the Enneagram, and will give people familiar with it a good laugh, while disarming people who are new to it and delivering the information in an accessible way.

Thank you to the author, publisher and Netgalley for the eARC.

[Jenna M. · Rating 5 out of 5]

10/5 stars, truly. If you’ve followed Liz for any amount of time on IG (@rudeassenneagram) she has likely hit ya right where it hurts with her hilarious and poignant memes. In true Liz fashion, this book does much of the same with the gritty love than only (IMHO) an enneagram 8 can deliver - the kind of love that won’t settle for anything less than everyone being their absolute best self. This book is written from a frame work that you are absolutely DESERVING of love and encourages you to take a magnifying glass to the -true but difficult- ways we get in our own way. For each number there is both honesty and encouragement - but if you are an 8 this is an absolute MUST READ. It’s not often we are accurately described. I was THRILLED to see an 8 publish an enneagram book and couldn’t get my hands on it fast enough!!!!! Within the first few PAGES I was laughing and crying. This isn’t a fluff book, this is a tool that I plan to reread many many times.
Also find me on IG (@hippiehooray) & let’s discuss the enneagram. Not even kidding, my friends are sick of listening to me. 😅

[Jaymie · Rating 5 out of 5]

[I received a free electronic review copy of this book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.]

5 stars +++

This was incredible! I loved every bit of it- the voice, the content, the presentation. The author is incredibly gifted at choosing just the right words to convey her content. It is both funny and direct, with plenty of sass. (It reminds me of Millenneagram, which I loved, but less aggressive and with fewer f-bombs, so reading this was more enjoyable.)

Usually I struggle to finish nonfiction books because they are too easy to walk away from - there's no narrative arc to pull me from chapter to chapter. Not so here. While it's not a narrative, I was captivated by the whole thing and wanted to keep reading. I loved the presentation of all of the numbers, not just my own. I have already pre-ordered a print copy, and I'm looking forward to reading through it again.

[Jay · Rating 3 out of 5]

The start of this book was pretty cool. I liked that she dispelled some common myths about the Enneagram and that she encouraged people not to Type others as it's a personal experience. However, I wish she would have included information about typing yourself. With that being said, it is easy enough to go online and find a quiz to get your number.

So, assuming you have your number, you can go through and read information about yourself in a very easily organized section. The information is supposed to be about your "shadow" side, and not just information to stroke your ego. This is where the book lost some stars for me. I don't mind her deprecating, dry humor, but I felt like the paragraphs contained very little actual information. It was mostly a very wordy, over the top, joke with a very small punch line (aka info). So the book wasn't bad, but it wasn't the self help, information filled, personal exploration book I was hoping for.