好好對話的力量: 難以開口的話，該怎麼說？18個情境練習，不委屈自己，也不逼迫對方，讓溝通有效且療癒

by Sarah Rozenthuler, 黃庭敏 (translator)

「讀完這本書，我相信你有能力，
和誰都能隨時隨地交談，
而且不會畏懼或羞於討論最重要的事。」

＼上千人有感見證！無數家庭、企業與團隊，成功消除隔閡！／

英國王牌溝通教練，以心理學為基礎，
從大量個案輔導經歷，整理出7大溝通策略！
帶你看清內在需求，有勇氣展開深刻對話，
學會換個說法，找回相處的自在與美好。

★諾貝爾和平獎三度提名者──艾爾沃西博士．盛讚推薦！
★7大溝通策略x 18個情境練習，涵蓋豐富的對話範例與技巧
★無論內向、外向，從親人、伴侶到職場，都能找到實用建議，在生活中運用！

作者莎拉．羅森圖勒曾在世界銀行、BBC 等大型組織，
擔任顧問心理學家長達10多年。
之後，更創立顧問公司，協助數千人進行溝通。
本書奠基於多年的對話教練經驗，搭配真實輔導案例，
告訴你：

【這些溝通地雷，不要踩】
→理解破壞對話的3種行為，以及7個會扼殺談話的負面思維。面對日常溝通，不再擔心說了傷害感情、一開口就火氣大……

【想讓語言發揮功效，要這樣說】
→以7名個案實例，見證7大溝通轉變，如何改寫人生、修復關係、療癒傷痛。

【手把手對話練習，從開口前，就做好準備】
→18個訣竅指南，為艱難的對話做好因應，知道換什麼說法更有效。

透過本書，你將學會說「對方聽得進去的語言」，
讓愛與尊重成為日常。

本書特色

▲從心態問題、真實案例、具體練習，獨門技巧全公開！
以循序漸進的方式，闡述「對話時，不該有的7種思維」→「讓對話療癒且有效的7大轉變」→「幫助對話的18個訣竅練習」，充滿務實可行的建議，讓你找到不互相傷害的溝通方式。

▲圖表解說詳盡，提供多樣對話情境與工具
內向者和外向者的溝通方式有何不同？你的談話風格又是什麼？本書輔以心理學的研究基礎，用日常生活的具體例證，教你把耳朵和內心打開，學會換個說法。

▲科技冷漠時代最需要的一本書，帶你一起找到「好好對話的力量」
在這個數位連結的時代，許多人卻覺得失去連結。而「好好對話」，正是我們對抗疏離感的解方。透過本書，關係中說不出口的需求，現在都能好好表達。

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Communication, Psychology

287 pages, Kindle Edition

Published February 6, 2024

Reviews

[Paromjit · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sarah Rozenthuler is a psychologist, a leadership consultant, and dialogue coach, writing this book that is essentially on how to effectively communicate and focusing on conversations, and improving the reader's abilities to be more able to lead the life they want, both personally and professionally. Many people often shy away from essential conversations, often feeling intimidated or just wanting to avoid unpleasantness, or just ill equipped, leaving them mired in scenarios that make their lives miserable and doomed to never move on until they address the situation. This book is aimed at these people, and those who are just looking to improve their conversational skills even further. Rozenthuler provides examples from her personal journey, how she learnt valuable life lessons, how she met her ambitions and achieved the career progression moves that she so desired. She includes stories from other people that illustrate her points.

Rozenthuler sets much store in her seven shifts that allow for meaningful conversations to take place, the need to pay heed to the concept that it is not what you say, but how you say it that makes such a difference. This includes the requisite courage needed to begin to have that difficult and awkward conversation, having the clear sight required to get what you have to say with clarity, the need for respect, and learning to speak your truth from your perspective. It is important to use the right words, to prioritise, and to ask questions and not merely convey opinions. This is a book that offers the opportunity to pick up critical conversational skills and develop the confidence to be more able to handle your life and the multiple situations you might find yourself in, after all, conversations are an everyday fact of life that you can use to your benefit.

To be honest, I was not so appreciative of the author's personal life story points she used to illustrate her book aims, but that is probably just me, I would have preferred a greater straightforward focus on the practical advice, tips and guidance. However, I do feel this is a book that is likely to be appreciated by a wide audience looking to improve their conversations and consequently their lives. Many thanks to Watkins Publishing for an ARC.

[Ell · Rating 4 out of 5]

We transform through conversation asserts Sarah Rozenthuler, a leadership consultant and dialogue coach. Each thoughtful chapter in How to Have Meaningful Conversations: 7 Strategies for Talking About What Matters, offers helpful suggestions to transform our relationships and our life’s circumstances with meaningful shifts in the way we approach our conversation with others and ourselves. The shifts are practical, pragmatic and powerful. Four stars.

[Felipe Cotrim · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book should be called 'How to have DIFFICULT conversations'. For me meaningful conversations are more related to learning, growth, critical thinking, good controversy, debating across disciplines, and so on. Anyway, it wasn't what I was expecting, but very practical book if you need help with a difficult conversation.

[Natalie Wakes · Rating 2 out of 5]

For me, this book more so explained the importance of receiving therapy before going into difficult conversations. There are many examples of various clients that the author has helped, whilst I found them interesting, the examples were very specific so it was hard to take much from it. I thought the exercises at the end felt a bit rushed and maybe they should have been filtered throughout the book to support the examples.

Also all the examples turned out quite well, whilst I imagine this is normally the case, it would have been good to show an example that didn't so that you could see a variance similar to real life experience.

[Francis Tapon · Rating 4 out of 5]

The 7 strategies for having a more meaningful conversation are in the 7 chapters:

1. Call up your courage - to right a wrong, be bold, don't avoid tough subjects
2. Create a Container - to renew a relationship, talk about what's been lost/forgotten
3. Intend the Message You Send - talk about what you really want
4. Connect with Respect - voice your deepest desires and honor the other person
5. Speak your truth - say "hard truths"
6. Surrender your story - talking about possibilities
7. Find closure - make the conversation the tart of a new beginning

There are many exercises.

This book is 5-stars for those seeking conflict resolution strategies. It's great for dealing with employees or loved ones. Or enemies.

I'm a podcaster and I was hoping it would give me ideas on how to spark meaningful conversations with my guests. It didn't do much for that.

However, overall, it's a great book for most people's needs. Well organized.

[Genevieve Trono · Rating 4 out of 5]

How to Have Meaningful Conversations is a wonderful and relatable self-help book that discusses why communication is such a huge part of how our lives unfold and how we feel connected (or not) with the people around us. Sarah Rozenthuler gives practical and relatable advice on how we can improve our ability to talk effectively with others at critical points in our lives and relationships.

Rozenthuler shares small shifts we can make in our dialogue with others than can have a big impact on not only how our communication comes across to others but also how we react to it. It is not always what we say but how we say it that can make a lasting impact, both positively or negatively.

Sharing what matters and what is important to you while also honoring the other person can feel so tricky for many people. These shifts can help navigate a path towards filling both of these buckets and help you deepen your awareness and move forward while also finding closure when necessary. The real-life examples throughout the book were a great addition to her message and helped these topics really resonate.

Thank you to NetGalley and Watkins Publishing for a copy of these book in exchange for an honest review.

[Andrew Kerr · Rating 2 out of 5]

While Sarah tries to define what a meaningful conversation it feels like she fails. She seems to reject "small talk" which is part of a meaningful conversation and relationship.
it also seems like a plug to engage her to coach you through difficult conversations.
She did raise some good points about listening and also preparing for (difficult) conversations.
I was understanding the come people do pray to the universe and talk about the positive energy flows but writing about this and having it interwoven with "scientific" facts was curious and felt a little conflicted. having a faith is different to throwing things out to the universe.
It would also have been great rather than having a few examples of how having difficult conversations led to divorce to how having a meaningful conversation restored a relationship.

[Mise · Rating 2 out of 5]

DNF at 27%

I tried to give this book extra leeway despite and uninteresting opening hour as I thought that perhaps the author is just writing and I'm not her intended audience

As the book went on it became increasingly clear that there is little value in the book and what value is there is buried under piles of vague new age spiritualist language.

Perhaps the author is of great use to a particular sort of person who would frequently cite their aura as an excuse for being in a bad mood at the office but I feel I've read enough of the book to understand why she would get gigs at government civil service events and blase corporate dialogue retreats.

[Nicoo Papurica · Rating 4 out of 5]

Schimbarea esențială de la reacție la creație stă în modul in care te vezi pe tine însuți. Te „desprinzi" de nevoile emoționale de aprobare, controlare sau distanțare. Nu te mai definești in funcție de părerile altora despre tine. Valoarea ta izvorăşte din interior. Această schimbare de perspectivă facilitează construirea unui loc stabil în care să răspunzi în loc să reacționezi, astfel reuşind să-ți transformi capacitatea de a purta o conversație dificilă.

[CherrySherry · Rating 2 out of 5]

I found the book quite useless despite its promising name. In fact, it offers you a long and useless introduction mostly related to the author's life and how she came to write this book. When actual chapters finally start, the reader is to process countless personal stories of the author's clients that I found completely unhelpful. Did not finish.

[Terrie Case · Rating 5 out of 5]

If everyone read this book, opposing sides will learn to communicate and we would be happier and more at peace as a society as a whole.

The author begins by showing the reader how small changes make a difference how our tone sounds is as important as what we say and introduces the seven shifts. The shifts are further explored by the author and exercises to hone these skills are provided.

Not communicating in a meaningful way can cause additional issues. Sarah Rozenthuler states:

The fallout of a conversation poorly handled is very familiar to many of us. I’ve discovered in the cut-and-thrust of both the corporate and family life, it often seems easier in the short term to hide behind email or polite silence rather than call up our courage and talk. I’ve also learnt, however, that the risks of staying silent are often greater than the risks of speaking out. Resentments fester, distance grows, relationships fall apart.

The seven shifts upon which this book is based are call up your courage; create a container; intend the message you send; connect with respect; speak your truth; surrender your story; and find closure. Each is explained in detail.


I received an ARC from Watkins Publishing through NetGalley. This in no way affects my opinion or rating of this book. I am voluntarily submitting this review and am under no obligation to do so.

[Hutch Hussein · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent and practical tip full of great strategies and case studies of how to get your point across and be an effective communicator in all domains of your life. Will be returning to this one often.

[Lia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some great tidbits in here.

[Cordelia · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked the case studies for illustrating the points and the exercises to help you work towards having life changing conversations

[Eve H. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Was alright but nothing too impressive.

[Minter Dial · Rating 5 out of 5]

Some very useful guidelines as to how to have important conversations with people that matter to you.

[Virginia Schranck · Rating 3 out of 5]

Title and descriptions of the book are misleading. May be useful to reach for in the future for handling difficult conversations

[Emily Clarke · Rating 4 out of 5]

Life altering

[DonutKnow · Rating 3 out of 5]

This left a strong impression of how much an honest, well-thought conversation can change your life 😲😲

[Jan · Rating 5 out of 5]

A good read with real life stories. I wish I had the known the tools it suggests in preparation of some of my conversations a few years ago.

[Julie-Anne Borgias · Rating 3 out of 5]

some useful points and a lot of triggers in the examples used.

[Oliver · Rating 4 out of 5]

After finishing this book, I have also taken it out of the library for the exercises.

[Aria 88]

Audiobook review. DNF. Narrators voice annoying. Listened for 30 minutes and nothing of any interest said. Gave up and returned to BorrowBox

[Jamie Bee · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Art of Conversation

Conversation and sincere dialogue are essential even in this day of tweets and texts. Especially when dealing with those who are close to us, meaningful conversation is essential to true intimacy; it is also crucial to getting the most out of life both personally and professionally. I think that sometimes when we have the need for one of the great conversations that can cause a shift in life, we can have a lack of clarity within ourselves that is magnified when we attempt to communicate our wants, desires, and needs to another. This book gives you seven shifts or frameworks for the important conversations that we have with those who matter. The author has many examples to show what these mean and what effective and ineffective conversation looks like. She even has exercises at the end of the book that will help you increase your capacity for creating meaningful conversations, although some of them are simply helpful just to help you get clarity about your thoughts and your regular patterns of communication. If you've ever felt yourself at a loss for those significant conversations or they didn't turn out quite as you had hoped, this book can guide you on the path to more effective conversations.

I received a free copy of this book, but that did not affect my review.

Read my other reviews at https://www.readingfanaticreviews.com.

[Shar · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found How to Have Meaningful Conversations a natural and common sense read. The author walks us through the meaning of language and conversation in a straightforward and relatable way.

The importance of communication and face to face conversations in everyday life is an often neglected but essential skill.

I already understood the message the author was sending, but It reminded me of discussions in the past when I missed opportunities or avoided subjects entirely, to the detriment of the relationship.

Just for heightening awareness of how vital conversation is this is an excellent self-help read.

Thank you to NetGalley and Watkins Publishing for a kindle version of this book in exchange for an honest review.

[Karen Kingston · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thanks to NetGalley for this digital review copy.

I requested the book to review because I mentor gifted and talented young people, which involves many conversations.

I found the book interesting and easy to follow. Sadly a lot of it wasn’t useful for my work, but I did take away some good ideas.

If I was able to use this for work, then I would prefer a paper copy to make better use of the preparation exercises.

The comment that stuck was that we are taught to speak but not how to talk to each other,

[Samantha · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book doesn't look at day-to-day conversations, which was what I expecting from the title, but instead looks at those "Big Conversations" that can save or dissolve marriages, father daughter issues, resentments or get a promotion and how to prepare for them.

The book included too many anecdotes from the authors time in a Government office in the beginning, but mostly the book looked at it from some interesting, but long case-studies from clients she had seen for coaching.

I received this book from Netgalley in return for a honest review.

[Verity W · Rating 2 out of 5]

Interesting but ultimately not quite what I was looking for in terms of the sort of conversations it’s dealing with. I’m sure I will find parallels with conversations that I will have, but I was mostly looking for advice about work place type conversations and this is much more relationships. And I’m not great with the sort of language used in this - it’s very American therapy speak which makes me come over all itchy.

I may not be the market for this sort of book!

*****copy from netgalley in return for an honest review*****

[Colin Marks · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book doesn't discuss day-to-day conversations, what I was expecting, but the Big Conversations (used by Sarah throughout the book) - those chats where the outcomes can save marriages, get that promotion, or start a new way of life. The book started slow, a few too many anecdotes from Sarah's past, but once it kicked into gear there are some interesting themes, all clearly explained with case-studies. An interesting read, a good 4*!

Book supplied by Netgalley for an honest review.

[Ann T]

Thank you Watkins and Netgalley for this ARC.

This is a fabulous book that every body can benefit from. It is a book I have dipped in and out of and will keep referring to. The author gives the reader the tools and, hopefully, the courage to have those deeply meaningful conversations with people we love, rather than holding back through fear, inadequacy or not believing you can.

A really important book, imagine how powerful it would be if everyone read this.