A Guide to Midwestern Conversation

by Taylor Kay Phillips (Author/Narrator )

Learn (and love) the language of the landlocked in this bitingly funny illustrated guide to the common phrases and sentiments of the American Heartland, from the author of the McSweeney’s series “A Guide to Midwestern Conversation.”

If you end an evening by slapping your thighs and saying, “Welp, I’ll go ahead and get outta your hair,” then you don’t need this guide, but you sure as heck might like it. Full of common Midwestern phrases (and what they really mean behind the friendly facade), A Guide to Midwestern Conversation is an affectionate, self-deprecating look at the language of a people long defined by their kindness and reduced to their voting patterns. Written by born-and-bred Midwesterner Taylor Kay Phillips, it’s a wink, a hug, and a firm handshake (with eye contact) to the millions of Americans who say soda and pop interchangeably and grew up doing tornado drills in school.

Discover Midwestern conversational staples


Including an array of guides, tips, and profiles of all the states included, A Guide to Midwestern Conversation is guaranteed to make Midwesterners (and their friends) laugh out loud, nod their heads, and ask if “anyone needs anything real quick while I’m up.”

Genres: Nonfiction, Humor, Audiobook, Language, Book Club, Travel, Linguistics

3 pages, Audiobook

First published April 11, 2023

Reviews

[Rod Brown · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is probably best read a page or two at a time in the bathroom over a month or so instead of in large chunks over three days as it is a bit repetitive. It's mildly amusing, but a lot of the humor depends on the speaker being insincere or passive aggressive and that doesn't appeal to me much.

At the same time, having lived in the Midwest for most of my life -- Illinois, Wisconsin, Iowa, and Nebraska (with a couple times out of bounds in Massachusetts and Colorado) -- large parts of this sound pretty accurate, at least as far as white people go. I recommend You'll Never Believe What Happened to Lacey: Crazy Stories about Racism for a different perspective on "Midwest nice."

[Julie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed the tongue-in-cheek humor, and the descriptions of eating out seemed spot on, especially the sample Midwestern Menu.

[Lillian · Rating 5 out of 5]

this incredibly delightful book is for you if you’re from the midwest, if you love someone from the midwest, if you’re at all curious about the midwest, or if you just love good jokes! it was written with such love and care, and the result is this incomparable sense that you’re already best friends with the author. it’s also such a gorgeous book to have on display — that cover is perfect!!!

[Elizabeth]

Stat padding whatever. This inspired a lot of linguistics TedTalks from me.

[Terzah · Rating 4 out of 5]

My cousin Becky has a joke about how long Midwestern goodbyes take. This book expands on that joke. Anyone who grew up in the giant chunk of the country spanning Kansas to Ohio will see themselves and their families and friends here, and it would make a great gift for any Midwesterner (or someone who loves one). I admit I'm feeling a little FOMO over not having a garage fridge after reading this, though.

[David · Rating 5 out of 5]

Highly recommended for those of us transplanted to this region, but I think the book could be enjoyed by anyone anywhere, it is just so darned charming. It's funny, but not mean, and I even learned some stuff. Here's a sample from the section on hosting guests at your home:

"We're doing some projects on the house, right now."
[translation:] I have completely gutted the inside of my home. I enter my front door with a hard hat, and the sound of a power sander wakes me earlier than any rooster could ever dream. It costs more money, time, and hours of sleep that I could have imagined, but I paid good money* for this house, and I want a kitchen island if it kills me and my contractor (to whom I bring coffee and doughnuts every morning).
*I have neglected to include the Midwestern definition of "good money" out of respect for the minds and hearts of my East and West Coast readers. Please don't google it. For your own good.

[Holly · Rating 4 out of 5]

Laughed out loud the entire time, probably because we Midwesterners crack ourselves up.

[Deanna Marciniak · Rating 4 out of 5]

4/5 this is a fun coffee table book for those of us from or living in the Midwest. My family had a great time reading random sections of it to each other and then jokingly debating if “go ask your mom” or ask your dad was more common. I’d recommend it for all Midwestern people trying to think of one more thing to say as they extend their 30 minute goodbye.

[Abby Hemmelman · Rating 5 out of 5]

An absolute delight. 💛

[Esme · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well, how about that? This book really tickled me. Thanks to my minnesotan friend from the land of 10,000 lakes and the pretty chilly weather 😊😂

[Shana Z · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was so charming. From the front cover with the casserole dish which my mom has in at least four sizes/shapes to the midwestern goodbyes, I felt SO seen.

[Heather · Rating 4 out of 5]

More of a fun flip through than a sit down and read

[Emily Kleinhenz · Rating 4 out of 5]

You betcha! This really tickled me! This book has really outdone itself. This book was pretty hilarious and as a lifelong midwesterner, I would say fairly accurate, though some of the phrases were more state specific than general midwestern.

As a side note, if you’re gonna point out that the Cuyahoga river caught on fire in 1969, I would’ve also pointed out that it was so polluted that it caught fire at least 13 times, in part inspired the creation of the EPA, Clean Water Act, and the Great Lakes Water quality agreement, and an overall heightened focus on pollution.

Also, I have not met a single person who thinks Cleveland is the capital of Ohio.

Well, there ya go!

[Bridget Arnold · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was absolutely delightful. I enjoyed it thoroughly and it will be living on whatever coffee table I have for the foreseeable future. It was a lovely slice of home and a delightful exploration of the parts of the Midwest I’m less familiar with. The writing style was quirky and funny and irreverent. She wrote with authority but without taking herself too seriously, and I would recommend this to anyone, midwestern or otherwise, if they’re looking for a little slice of the heartland.

[Kyriana · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loved this, I cackled so many times. Highly recommend the audiobook. I've lived in Kansas City for nearly a decade, so I loved the references to Price Chopper and Hy-Vee. This book may not reflect your specific experience with the Midwest, which I think is reasonable considering it's a huge region with a lot of different people. But I definitely read some things that I've definitely heard others say in one state or another, and it all gave me a good chuckle.

[Kristen · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a cute book but it was pretty obvious that the author never visited Michigan. Detroit is great, but it is only a small part of the state. Author was also unaware that Gerald Ford, while born in Nebraska, only lived there for 17 days. Check out the city that he called home for most of his life - Grand Rapids.

[Mary Northrup · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very humorous, especially if you're from Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Michigan, Minnesota, Missouri, Nebraska, North Dakota, Ohio, South Dakota, or Wisconsin. You'll recognize the attitude, word choice, and etiquette.

[Bec · Rating 4 out of 5]

A fun quick read that, as a life-long Ohioan, had me constantly swinging between “I feel so called out right now,” “my childhood!!!,” and “but that’s normal, right? Right?????” I also absolutely adored the art in the book. I will have to resist shoving this at everyone I know irl :D

[Missy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I heard many phrases I didn't know we Midwesterners use, but also many I have employed myself in some situations. I laughed several times. The state information at the end of each chapter was interesting, giving me facts to share with the people in my life who enjoy trivia.

[Sydney · Rating 5 out of 5]

I felt seen and simultaneously attacked while reading this book as a fellow Hoosier and Midwesterner. Lots of laughing out louds at the phrasing and explanations because they were so spot on. My goodness is the Midwest a quirky place!

[bethany m. planton · Rating 5 out of 5]

This guide made this midwestern laugh out load so many times. I read it out loud to my family because it is so spot on!

[Bill · Rating 3 out of 5]

Just skimmed through this one. Clever and funny in concept but (and maybe because I’m a solid Midwesterner) I got the idea quickly and found much of it so familiar it seemed repetitive.

[Michel Kelly · Rating 2 out of 5]

Super disappointed that, in the chapter about weather, there was no mention of describing humid weather as “close.”

[G Gee · Rating 5 out of 5]

you betcha

[Sharon Falduto · Rating 4 out of 5]

A funny little primer on how we Midwesterners eat, talk, visit, gift, etc. Some of it rang true and some of it didn't. Read like a long-form McSweeney's column--which I think it may have started as. Midwesterners will enjoy this gentle fun-poking at themselves.

[Kimberly Taylor Stelting · Rating 5 out of 5]

There are things we do that, as a lifelong Midwesterner, I didn't realize were Midwestern. A funny and very quick read! I listened as I drove from Wichita to Olathe (Kansas, of course), and it didn't take the whole trip.

[Jeanene · Rating 5 out of 5]

It’s almost like she was in our house while we were discussing where to go to eat or saying goodbye. Plus so many other things I’ve experienced in my Midwestern life.

[Meredith · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the kind of book you gift to someone! & she tells you to🤣 I nodded so many times, I probably looked like a chicken reading this. Clever, informative and true. Nothing is funnier than the truth. I thoroughly enjoyed it!

[Kristy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is short and delightful. Now I know why I am the way I am.

[nomadreader (Carrie D-L) · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's funny.