Toxic

Ruin #2

by Rachel Van Dyken

Everyone has a secret...

Gabe Hyde is on borrowed time. He's been hiding his identity for over four years-hidden from the world that used to adore him--obsess over him--driven to the edge of insanity by one poor choice.
But that one choice, altered the course of his life forever.
Pretending isn't all it's cracked up to be, especially when pretending means hiding your real self from the people that care about you the most. But if anyone ever discovered the truth it wouldn't just be his life at risk--but hers.

Saylor doesn't hate men.
Just Gabe.
Only Gabe.
He's a reckless, happy-go-lucky, silver spoon fed pain in her ass. Everything about him makes her more and more confused. Unfortunately they both donate time at the same Group Home. If she wasn't afraid of flunking, she'd be long gone. She hates that she's attracted to him almost as much as he hates that he's attracted to her--and she can tell, especially since their first encounter ended up making her knees so weak she couldn't form coherent sentences for weeks afterwards. But the closer she gets to him, the more confused she becomes. He isn't who he says he is, and he's hiding something big.

What happen when two worlds collide? Two worlds that never should have met in the first place? Some secrets are too big to be hidden forever--the only question? Will his destroy everyone he loves? Or finally bring about the redemption he's been craving for the past four years?

Everyone has a secret...What's yours?

Genres: Romance, New Adult, College, Contemporary Romance, Contemporary, College Romance, Young Adult

340 pages, ebook

First published March 4, 2014

About the author

Rachel Van Dyken is the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and USA Today Bestselling author of mafia and contemporary romances.

Hey guys I'm rarely on Goodreads, if you need to reach me feel free to email!
EMAIL ME: rachelvandykenauthor@gmail.com

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Rachel-...

Reviews

[Lady Vigilante (Feifei) · Rating 5 out of 5]

1 month & 16 days.
which is
47 days.
which is
1128 hours.

What do those stats mean you say? Well that’s how long it’s been since I’ve found “that” book, the one that hits all my 6 stars of brilliance buttons. My GR buddies know how terrible January and half of February was for me...DNF after DNF followed by 1 and 2 star reviews, but after finishing Toxic I can officially say that the book slump is gone! For me, Toxic is the embodiment of what makes up my 6 stars: unforgettable characters, unpredictable and unique storyline, exemplary writing style, offers something substantial and original to the genre, reconstructs my preconceived notions, and above all, evokes the highest level of engagement on my part. In other words, the book made me cry and not many can accomplish that.

This:



^^you can see on the right side that there are more tissues on the floor. I was too exhausted to pick them up and include them in the pic.



I don’t give out 6 stars lightly so let me try to explain to you how I finally got to that rating. At first I planned on slapping a DNF (did not finish) to the book. Both Gabe and Saylor were such difficult characters to connect with on an emotional standpoint and if you check my reading progress on GR, you’ll see how frustrated I got. Another aspect that completely stunned me was how different Toxic’s Gabe is from Ruin’s Gabe, and I walked into the book only ready for Ruin’s Gabe. What happened to the confident, cocky, laidback Gabe I knew? From the very first page, I was confused and conflicted, thinking that I must’ve opened the wrong book because this just can’t be Gabe’s story. The brokenness, the laid out, raw thoughts running through his mind, and the finality in which he believed he was undeserving of redemption hit me hard. To be blunt, I wasn’t prepared.

What I do when my radar detects angst:



As a reader who loathes and avoids angst as much as possible, reading this book killed me. I was miserable, having constant chest pains, and couldn’t see straight through blurry tears I didn’t realize were in my eyes. I don’t think my heart has ached so much before. At this point I already dropped the idea of DNFing because there is no denying the flawless writing style. In fact, RVD has one of the best writing styles that is close to absolute perfection. I didn’t want to feel, but her words made me. I didn’t want to cry, but it happened.



Then I got to the crux of the story and I had a complete epiphany. Before I only got pieces here and there of Gabe’s past but there was no connection on my part to link it all together. On top of which, I was still struggling to warm up to the idea of him and Saylor having a relationship; I wasn’t convinced. But wow…once I hit the centerpoint of the story, everything changed. The only way to describe it is a wake up call on my part and then the build up and culmination of events that made everything click.

The mountain of lies.

The bomb finally going off.

A common ground for Saylor and Gabe.

The angst.

The supportive secondary cast of characters.

When past collides with present which disrupts the future.



It’s a chaotic, messy, and twisted mix but that’s just what Gabe’s life is. He is one of the most damaged and broken male leads I’ve read for a while now and what I love about this story is that RVD didn’t shy away from any of the hideous details. Pain, angst, desolation, desperation...every last emotion he felt, I felt.

At this point, the book made a solid 4.5 star read…meaning I was enjoying it a lot but there were minor things that derailed me from completely loving it. Then comes the part where I just lost all my marbles and shit: 79%. I can’t even begin to describe the feeling that overcame me at this point. I guess it’s like…the words themselves are so beautiful you can’t help but live, read, and breathe them but you also know how emotionally devastating they are so you want to look away too. That kind of feeling.



Anyways, I was full out sobbing at this point (and tearing up right now writing about it). And the most magical part about this all is how RVD retains the originality, realism and essence of life and love. Reading this story made me feel like I was getting schooled by a higher power. So the fact that I bawled my eyes out, combined with the other 5 qualities that would normally have made this a 5 star read, shot it to 6 stars of brilliance. But then again, how can I expect anything less from RVD? Toxic is the kind of book I can only read once. It physically and emotionally hurts me to read but the message it sends out is so very profound, life-changing, and memorable.

I rarely leave thank you shoutouts to authors at the end of my reviews but Toxic earned it. So thank you Rachel for writing what I already know will be in my top 10 reads of the year!

ARC kindly provided by author in exchange for an honest review.

For more reviews, freebie lists, & giveaways visit my blog!

[Christy · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars!!!

Death and love are the only two things that exist in this world that are strong enough to alter the course of your life, of your destiny. They either propel you or paralyze you. In the end, the choice is always yours.  

Toxic is the second book in Rachel Van Dyken’s Ruin series and I may be in the minority, but I actually thought it was better than the first! Don’t get me wrong, the first book was very good, but there was something about Gabe’s story that hit me right in the feels. It wasn’t so much the romance or the relationship aspect of the story I loved so much, it was mostly just Gabe and his back story that I found interesting and heartbreakingly good.

Gabe Hyde appears to be like any other college student. His life might seem like any other guy’s on the outside, but he has secrets and so much going on behind the scenes it’s hard to wrap your head around it. His past is always there, hidden.

“Everyone wears masks. They come in all different shapes and sizes. The only problem with trying one on - is that it fits. How easily we fall into the trap that we don't have to be who we really are. How easily we convince ourselves that we need to cover up what we were born to be. It's a tragedy - that fear keeps us from our destiny. It's hell - when the person you were created to be - is covered up by some cheap imposter.” 

Gabe has his cousin Lisa and friends Wes and Kierstan. They are the only ones close to him, and even some of them don’t know the truth about his past. He doesn’t let people get too close. And then comes Saylor. College freshman, music major, and somehow the one girl who is able to plant herself into Gabe’s past, present and future. Music is something both of them have in common. Even when Gabe is difficult (which is more often than not) the music can bring them together.



As I said before, the romance aspect of this story wasn’t necessarily the focus and I was okay with that. Gabe’s story was powerful. I love when characters are so much more than what meets the eye. Saylor is understanding and patient with Gabe, especially when she finds out what is really going on in his life. The last 10-15% and the things she did for him really won me over. I ended up loving her by the end as well.

This is a tearjerker, I cried more than once while listening to this book. It can be read as a stand alone, but I would recommend reading Ruin first. It’s where you first get introduced to Gabe, plus I loved Wes and Kiersten’s story. I also want to point out that this audio was so much better than Ruin’s. Both of the narrator’s fit the characters well and it was good listening! If you’re in the mood for an emotional NA read, this is a series I would recommend picking up!

[Jennifer Kyle · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 Toxic Stars



Readers don’t know who the real Gabe really is! He is hiding something pretty big, scratch that, it’s HUGE. I will not reveal any aspects of his secret, but for me part of his secret it hit too close for home. I was crying or choked up pretty much the whole read.

”I was playing a part. I was Gabe. I would never be him again, I would never be my past again.”

”I could be her friend. I could be Wes’s friend. Hell, I could even be a good cousin to Lisa, but I’d never end up with anyone. My soul mate? I’d already met her.”

Rachel Van Dyken perfectly weaves all the characters in this story without overshadowing Gabe. Wes was once again a fantastic friend and he added so much to the story for me. Gabe’s situation was truly enormous and seemed impossible.



Through the pain and heartbreak delivered through Gabe’s piano playing Saylor sees Gabe and they form a connection.

”Maybe some of his talent would rub off on me. I didn’t play like that. I wasn’t raw. I was practiced.”

”I need to stay the heck away from Gabe – he’d be toxic.”

Gabe helps Saylor add emotion to her piano playing while Saylor starts to uncover what Gabe is hiding.

”That…” He leaned in. “…is how you perform. Like every kiss is both your first and last – like you’re saying both hello and goodbye – like you’ve just been born…like you’ve just died.”

I found the story to be BEAUTIFULLY written, all along ripping my heart out page after page. Gabe was indeed a real ass to Saylor in the beginning and the more their paths crossed, his ability to push her away is compromised and he finds himself torn.

”Gabe…” Saylor kissed my mouth. “For what it’s worth, I still want to be in the story even if it means…I walk away empty-handed. Even if it means I walk away without my heart.”

My only issue with the story was on Gabe and Saylor’s ending. Believe me there is more going on in the story so when things wrap up, I felt that they were in a good place BUT not as advanced as the author placed them and would have been happy with them getting to know each other more without the bells and whistles at the end.

Overall, this story was very well written and the author delivered some truly fantastic quotes. She captured all the characters’ feelings with true artistic skill and delivered a great sequel!

"Death and love are the only two things that exist in this world that are strong enough to alter the course of your life, of your destiny. They either propel you or paralyze you. In the end, the choice is always yours." ~ Wes

[✝✝ Ⓓaisy ❣ ✝✝ · Rating 5 out of 5]

TOXIC was simply beautiful, it made me laugh, cry, fall in love and mostly gave me hope!



Rachel,



The story of Gabe made me wanna hug him and never let him go! Get ready to be blown away!





Gabe is mysteriously bad ass boy and he definitely has his story to tell. And his story is gripping and you will never want to put Toxic down, I guarantee!









One day, a sunshine comes into his life, in the name of Saylor. Saylor was such a strong girl.





And yet, Gabe struggles. Will he let his mind to win? Or Will he want to live for himself?

"And your kiss is my salvation....so Saylor, will you save me?"



"And yeah, it's my nickname? Why, you into nicknames and role play? Shit like that get your engine going?"



"I always wanted to know what it would be like to kiss a tattooed bad ass with a chip on his shoulder. Officially crossed that one off my bucket list"



I freaking love this book so so so so much. And I adored seeing Wes and Keirsten again even Lisa.

"PICK THIS BOOK UP NOW"

Now, I need Wes and Keirsten again in FEARLESS!

Rachel, your writing is simply brilliant! TQ for all the 5 stars reads!!!!



Happy reading

D xo

**ARC provided for a honest review**

[Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

***ARC provided by author in exchange for honest review****

** 6 Breathtakingly Beautiful Stars**



Toxic by Rachel Van Dyken was simply breathtakingly beautiful. I absolutely love this book. I couldn’t put this book down and the only time I did was to wipe all the tears shed. Toxic was of those books that consumed and owned me. If you haven’t read Ruin, I highly recommend you do. In Ruin, readers were introduced to a Gabe, who was fun, protective, loving, and happy. But in Toxic, we are introduced to a different Gabe. He is still protective, funny, and loving but this time we get to see another side: Broken, depressed, remorseful, and secretive.



Gabe’s story left me a beautiful mess. My heart ached. Many tears were shed. I really don’t want to say much but his story will make you FEEL and it’s one of those stories that must be read and experienced to understand Gabe’s pain, heartbreak, anguish, shame, guilt, and love. When his secrets begins to unravel and truths are finally revealed, my heart broke. If I had to describe Toxic with a song it would have to be The Passenger “Let Her Go.”

Staring at the bottom of your glass
Hoping one day you'll make a dream last
But dreams come slow and they go so fast

You see her when you close your eyes
Maybe one day you'll understand why
Everything you touch surely dies

But you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Ms. Van Dyken took her readers on a roller-coaster ride of emotions filled with so many twist and turns. So many tears were shed when it came to Saylor and Gabe. This couple especially Gabe literally gutted my heart. I felt every ounce of their pain, heartbreak, love, and happiness. If there was ever a couple that I wholeheartedly rooted for, it would have to be Saylor and Gabe. Each moment they were together, you could feel how much they loved each other. Every kissed, touched, music played and words exchanged were so heartfelt and meaningful. The last 15 chapters, my heart was breaking and I was left a blubbering mess. Tears were streaming down the face that I had to take a moment to calm myself since there were times I couldn’t see the words in my kindle. What I truly love about this book was the overall message, Love Heals. There are not enough words to express how much I loved and highly recommend this book. Toxic is definitely in my list of 2014 favorites. Toxic literally broke my heart, twisted it, shattered it to pieces, and slowly piece by piece taped it back together. Be prepared to fall, live, love, and breathe.



Rachel Van Dyken

[Dee · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 Stars

GIFFY REVIEW ALERT !!!!

Kimmy was like



And Gabe was like ..



Wes and Kiersten were all



Gabe's pain made me like



Gabe was all



So Wes was like



There was too much of this between Wes and Gabe



Which had me going



Saylor was all



When she thought about Kimmy



Gabe was like



There was too much of this



And this



And this



And waaay too much of



Which made me like this



Overall I liked the book so I rounded it up to 3 Stars .

[Beeg Panda · Rating 2 out of 5]

SPOILERS *****SPOILERS*****SPOILERS*****SPOILERS

I like the writing style. It's an almost error free read. It was good to catch up with the Hxh of book 1.



The Bottom Line

Excerpt:
“One day…” Gabe whispered. “When my heart is mine again. When I’m not sharing it with a dying girl… I’ll give you everything.”
“Gabe,” I said, sighing. “Right now? I’m perfectly happy with the pieces. No matter how broken they may be.”

Excerpt:
“I missed Saylor. I also missed Princess.
I didn’t want my choosing Princess to make it so that Saylor left me. How selfish could I be? I wanted both?”

**********

The main characters:
- The male protagonist, Gabe (aka Ashton Parker Hyde)

- Heroine 1, Kimmy (aka Princess)
The love of his life, his reason for living, his "sweetie", "sweetheart", his "girl", she's wheelchair bound as a result of an accident which occurred when he'd coerced her into drunk skiing. She's lame from the neck down, mentally and physically incapable of caring for herself. He has dedicated his life to her for years now. Out of love, guilt. They were engaged.
I like Kimmy. She's survived a horrendous accident and subsequent illnesses. Every single day is a struggle for her and Gabe is the one person whose presence is a balm to her. They bond through music. The music they make together.


- Heroine 2, Saylor (the one referred to in the blurb) a college student. A girl who inserts herself in Gabe's life despite his constant rejection of her. They share a deep love for music and many of their interactions revolve around this.


- Heroine 3 - his 2nd ex-fiancée, Lisa. She's his "cousin" in bk 1. No "love" interest. Not sure of her purpose:

**********

I was going with "love triangle" until its revealed that Lisa is his ex-fiancée no. 2.
I Googled this scenario and the closest I can get to this phenomenon is : "love quad".
Second choice could be: "foursome", maybe?

**********

The plot:
Gabe feels guilty for causing the accident which leaves Kimmy paralyzed. 4 years ago.
She was his childhood sweetheart but is now only a shadow of the girl she used to be.
His life revolves around making her happy. He spends his days wallowing in guilt and love for her. Saylor volunteers at the care facility where Kimmy lives and where Gabe spends most of his spare time.

**********

Gabe is a rather busy boy, considering he's only about 22:
Not necessarily in this order:
- he's a child movie star, teen heartthrob.
- attempted suicide
- placed Kimmy in an institution and seeing her 4 times a week for four years now
- dedicates his life to her
- becomes a manwhore
- seeps himself in drugs, alchohol, women
- leaves Hollywood, does a complete makeover and disappears from the limelight for four years
- gets engaged twice
- becomes celibate
- accomplished musician
- at college
Etc

**********

PROGRESS OF GABE AND SAYLOR'S RELATIONSHIP
She isn't here for the purpose of romance, love, respect, chemistry, devotion, a deep lasting relationship (the usual reasons why I read the romance genre)
She's here for:
- effect, source of angst, conflict
- a character used to compare the real love of his life with


Excerpts:
18%
H to h:
“So, we doing it here? Or did you have someplace special you wanted to go for your first time? I mean, normally I don’t do charity cases, but I could light a candle if you want.”

25%
Saylor smiled, and I had to look away.......it was blinding and way too happy for my taste.....Light reminded me of HER ( heroine 1, Kimmy's) smile, of what I’d taken, of what I’d never deserve again...
“Stop smiling,” I blurted.
All heads turned in my direction.
“What? Me?” Saylor, still smiling, pointed at herself.
“Yeah, you got a chip stuck in your teeth or something,” I grumble”


34%
Saylor:
...he wasn’t smiling at me — he was smiling at her. As if she was the only girl in the world.


37%H says about Saylor,out of irritation, anger, for effect)
...Besides, she’s annoying as hell, and she’s not even cute...Saylor is the most annoying, irritating, undesirable girl I’ve come across in the past four years since being here at school — and that’s saying a lot"


40%
She's constantly crying over him. I've no idea why. Its like she thinks he's her soulmate. (Creepy). Like he's given her a reason too think she's valuable to him. In fact, even HE is clueless as to why she could even think they mean anything to each other: they've spent no time together to bond or have a relationship, never-mind a conversation. They don't know each other at all. So of course he's like : “Are those tears because of me?” (She's turning into a bit of a stalker, which he refers to later on, in jest)


42%
H about h:
I was caught between wanting to comfort her and wanting to tell her to suck in her damn tears. There were bigger things in the world going on than her own insecurities.


50%
H about Saylor:
"I owed her my respect"

Unfortunately, this is why he finally respects her:
“She was here for the same reason I was… to make Princess (Kimmy) laugh, to bring about joy in a world full of hate and darkness.


56%
“I dreamt of her (Saylor). I dreamt of her music. Her kiss. Her stupid laugh”


After this, any other sweet thoughts he has of her, any good times they share, is null and void and marred with lies and guilt.


71%
Progress?:
“I’m falling for you too. I haven’t fallen. Falling. As in still falling..." (He stresses this, probably in case she gets the wrong idea)


73% Their 1st date:
Preparing for their 1st date:
“...the only way I could actually go out tonight and be with Saylor — be the man she needed me to be — was if I had someone I trusted (his BFF) keeping their eye on Princess.”

Venue of their 1st date: the house he bought for the love of his life:
"Black and white pictures went from left to right, all the way across the room.
Slowly, I (Saylor) walked up to the first one. Gabe and Kimmy were wrapped around each other kissing."


Martyr Saylor:
“I feel unworthy,” Saylor whispered. “To see this. To be with you. It should be her.”


Mr Hump-and-dump-horndog-self-confessed-male-slut-ex-man-whore, has to make a concerted effort to enjoy some kissy time with Saylor:
Excerpt:
“I pushed the ghosts of Kimmy away from my mind and focused on the present"

Then, Mr I-haven't-had-nookie-like-in-forever, falls asleep during their first deep kissy session:
Excerpt:
Her teeth nipped at my lower stomach...And before I knew it. I was getting sleepy...
Not because I wasn’t as turned on as hell...No doubt about it, I was going to most likely explode from want.”

And then, 2 sentences later, wham-bam-no-thank-you-mam:
Excerpt:
"The bastard fell asleep.”
Same kissy session:
“I miss her,” he whispered against my (Saylor's) hair. “I miss her so much.”
(Her = Kimmy))


80%
“Because although my heart belonged to another (Kimmy) — I really wished that it belonged to her (Saylor)”


Long story short:
Saylor brings Kimmy home to live the house Gabe bought for her.
Kimmy dies.
He cries.
4 hours later he finally tells Saylor:
- that he loves her.
- “And how excited I am that one day I’ll have little princesses running around that look exactly like you.”

**********

GABE AND KIMMY

Excerpts:
“We were basically the next teen heart throb couple and everyone wanted to see us together.”

“I was freaking obsessed with the girl. Her life, her smile. Hell. I would marry her at sixteen and she knew it.”

Her voice sounded almost normal, like if I closed my eyes it would all be some crazy nightmare and she’d be whole again. In my arms, I’d kiss her lips, I’d tell her I loved her, we’d laugh, make love, and everything would be fine.”

“I proposed when I was seventeen — I was a kid, but I was in love, you know? Not the type of love most people at that age feel. It was huge — epic — like I’d finally found the person I was supposed to partner up with. And then she was just gone.”

“To me,” I whispered, my lips grazing her hand, “you will always be the most beautiful thing I have ever had the pleasure of laying my eyes on.”

“Can I fight for you, even when you won’t fight for yourself? Will you let me love you, even when you’re sick and broken? Will you let me keep the vow I made to you all those years ago?”

“...And every single one of my choices was made because of her.”
“True love.” Mike nodded his approval and smiled warmly. “It sounds like true love.”

““Kimmy’s dying, but you need to let her go...""
Gabe swayed on his feet. “I’ve been saying goodbye for years.”
“Maybe this time......You should mean it.”

“I love you,” my voice cracked as tears trickled down my face.”


“For some reason, in her death, I finally feel whole. Like everything’s come full circle.”

**********

There are so many other issues I haven't even touched on. This is one of those rare books where I've rooted for the "ow" because I can't see a forever kind of love for Gabe and Saylor. I'm uncomfortable with the basis of their relationship (Kimmy has to die before he would devote himself to Saylor) and even though his connection with Kimmy is mostly based on guilt and regret, these emotions are stronger than any feelings he has for Saylor.

**********

I'm also not sure why Amazon categories it under:
#34 in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Romance > Sportsward

[Brandi · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Don't let pain keep you from moving forward. It shouldn't stop your progress - it should drive it.”



Gabe has been running from his past. The sarcastic, charming, best friend we met in Ruin has been living a lie, and the truth is coming out. Consumed with guilt and pain, Gabe has tried to reinvent himself, but the past is always close on this heels. Now after 4 years, he is still broken and the truth he is hiding is consuming him.



Saylor is a music major, intelligent and smart. She is completely focused on getting through college and finding a good job, to help provide for her family. Her sense of responsibility causes her to live a lackluster life, passionless and predictable. Then, everything changes when she hears tortured music coming out of her practice space. He is rude, cocky, and irresistible.

That man could be the devil himself - and probably was if his earlier behavior was any indication - and all it would take would be one song and I'd be putty. That's why musicians were dangerous, they made you forget yourself.

Gabe's story is heartbreaking and somber. His moments with Princess were some of the most beautiful in the story. There were things that didn't work for me - the ending, and some aspects of Gabe's past just seemed too over the top and unnecessary. Overall, I enjoyed this one.

[Jacqueline's Reads · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 stars

It’s always disappointing when I start a review with a HUGE SIGH, but here it is…

….. SIGH….

Summary

Saylor is the virginal freshman. She loves music and the only problem she has is stage fright. Saylor’s life is warm and bubbly, until she runs into Gabe. Gabe is tatted, dark hair and pierced. He seems to have a huge chip on his shoulder and is nothing, but intriguing.

Four years ago, Gabe and his girlfriend get into an accident, which resulted in his girlfriend being mentally and physically handicapped. Gabe has never been the same since.

Review

I’m going to be blunt and say this. Toxic did not work for me, which is a huge disappointment considering I loved Ruin so much. The main problem I had with Toxic was chemistry.

There was absolutely no chemistry between Saylor and Gabe

Heck, I felt more for Gabe’s girlfriend, than I did for Saylor and Gabe’s relationship. The first half of Toxic is not a romance book. You really didn’t get into anything romantic, until the mid-way and even then it was brief at best. The first half of Toxic is Gabe unleashing his demons.

I love a damaged Hero, but I felt Gabe was a bit weak and annoying. Many times I wanted to say, “suck it up buddy. Yeah, your girlfriend is not all there and she lives in a group home, but she’s alive and you need to do the best you can do”. Gabe isn’t coping with his girlfriend’s accident because he believes it was his fault. I get his pain, I get it, but I am not sure if the ENTIRE book could be based on it.

When Saylor and Gabe do interact it’s very minor and it’s always filled with crazy tension. I love tension, but this story is tricky because you have the broken girlfriend to think of. So all this time, I wonder how Gabe can truly move on from his girlfriend?

I am not even sure there was a storyline past Gabe having this secret. Oh you think he would let Saylor know? Of course not, so of course Saylor is confused. You have this Hero who is hot and cold and doesn’t offer explanations.

I didn’t see what Saylor saw in Gabe, had it been me, I would have walked away a long time ago

Then you get to the climatic ending and I was just rolling my eyes on the cheesiness. It was just too typical and I was so fed up on the whole Gabe, broken girlfriend and Saylor dynamic, I just wanted it to end.

Had there been chemistry and build up between Saylor and Gabe, I would have a different opinion now, but for the first time I didn’t care if the Hero or Heroine got together.

Series Order
REVIEW | AMAZON
AMAZON

[[~Ami~]♥Sexy Dexy♥ · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 stars




Something happened to Gabe 4 years ago that changed the way he is. Holding back his secrets, will he finally open up to Saylor? I was a bit confused to begin with but when everything started clicking in place I liked it and I was bracing myself for the inevitable.

Gabe was without a doubt top douchebag of the year... loved him!!! But I felt like romance wise Gabe and Saylor felt more like soulmate type friends than lovers and I personally was missing some "heart fluttering I wont forget this couple" romance.

If you liked Ruin and want a douchey hero, music mixed in, emotional type book, then this book is a perfect choice.

[Aestas Book Blog]

OMGG!!!!! Sequel to RUIN!!! This is Gabe's story!

I. CANNOT. WAIT!!!!



BLURB - Everyone has a secret... Gabe Hyde is on borrowed time. He's been hiding his identity for over four years -hidden from the world that used to adore him - obsess over him - driven to the edge of insanity by one poor choice.

But that one choice, altered the course of his life forever.
Pretending isn't all it's cracked up to be, especially when pretending means hiding your real self from the people that care about you the most. But if anyone ever discovered the truth it wouldn't just be his life at risk - but hers.

Saylor doesn't hate men.

Just Gabe.

Only Gabe.

He's a reckless, happy-go-lucky, silver spoon fed pain in her ass. Everything about him makes her more and more confused. Unfortunately they both donate time at the same Group Home. If she wasn't afraid of flunking, she'd be long gone. She hates that she's attracted to him almost as much as he hates that he's attracted to her--and she can tell, especially since their first encounter ended up making her knees so weak she couldn't form coherent sentences for weeks afterwards. But the closer she gets to him, the more confused she becomes. He isn't who he says he is, and he's hiding something big.

What happen when two worlds collide? Two worlds that never should have met in the first place? Some secrets are too big to be hidden forever--the only question? Will his destroy everyone he loves? Or finally bring about the redemption he's been craving for the past four years?

Everyone has a secret...What's yours?

Toxic (SEQUEL TO RUIN OUT MARCH 4 2014)

[Carol (StarAngel's Reviews) Allen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Book – Toxic (Ruin #2)
Author – Rachel Van Dyken
Publication Date – March 4, 2014
Type – No Cliffhanger Series
Genre – Romance, New Adult
Rating – 6 out of 5 Stars

Book provided by Author (Release Blitz) in exchange for an honest review.

Reading Order
Ruin (Ruin #1) – Aug 2013 – Wes and Kiersten’s Story
Toxic (Ruin #2) – March 2014 – Gabe and Saylor’s Story
Fearless (Ruin #2.5) – March 2014 – Continuation of Wes and Kiersten’s Story
Ruin #3??? – Maybe we will get a story about Lisa? 



Review
Damn….this book had me captivated from the moment I picked it up…the writing style, the story line and the characters had me engrossed from the beginning to the end.

 

Let’s start with the writing style – Ms. Van Dyken – your writing is poetic, your thoughts are philosophical and the love you show through your characters is never ending!  I felt I was reading a story in prose along with an Old English tragedy – this book was poetic to the extreme.  Your philosophical thoughts were enough for me to go back and re-read each one over and over again till I felt that chill go up my spine.  You gave me so much ammunition for future ponderings about life.  This was incredible; this was extreme and this, my dear Ms. Van Dyken was a MASTERPIECE!



The beginning had me both loving and hating our tortured hero simultaneously – while trying to come to terms about his obnoxious actions and words.  Saylor, what can I say about her?  She was the epitome of the perfect college student/daughter – perfecting herself in order to make her family’s life better.  Opposites attract while creating electricity – and this was the complete definition of Saylor and Gabe.  This is one of the top love stories for 2014 in my opinion.



Oh, and on top of that our old friends Wes, Kiersten and Lisa are back for more!!

I can’t say enough about this book especially since it is still fresh in my mind and my heart is trying to digest the many emotions I had to deal with while reading.  This isn’t just angst and tragedy – this is BEAUTIFUL DRAMA! This is taking that drama and making the best of it – this is about loyalty and love.  This is about FOREVER!



Re-Cap
Gabe is hiding his identity – his past – his feelings and to do this he wears the mask of 3 different people.  This isn’t real – his actions are phony and his life is a lie.  For 4 years Gabe has hidden behind the walls of nonchalance and faked humor.

Everything starts to come to a boil and he goes to the music room to release some anger, unbeknownst to him that there is a certain music student listening to his music.  She gets caught – he hides behind a mask of arrogance to scare her off.  The sparks fly and an instant hate/lust relationship forms.



Is it fate that continues to put Saylor in Gabe’s presence or is it a punishment to antagonize her?  She is partnered with Lisa (Gabe’s BF and cousin) and again Saylor has to deal with his hurtful personality.  The project Lisa and Saylor choose puts her in sight of Gabe once again at the Group Home.  Saylor is confused as to why Gabe pays so much loving attention to a girl named “Princess” who is paralyzed.  As Gabe spends more and more time with Saylor, he realizes that his past is only going to end up hurting his future.

He must do what is necessary to protect the ones he loves!



Wrap-Up
I can’t encourage you enough to give this book a chance – this is a winner!  Don’t forget your box of Kleenex before you sit down to read!

[*J* Too Many Books Too Little Time · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Sometimes when we think God had written the end, what he really means is the beginning."

Gabe is hiding. Four years ago, tragedy struck, changing the course of Gabe's life.

"Hell, I'd been living in my dark hole for so long, I'd set up camp, put up pictures, and ordered cable."

Four years ago, Gabe was young, succesful, in love. Today Gabe is a facade. A smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes. Living out the promises of his past.

"The weight." I cursed. "It's wrapped around my legs, pulling me deeper into the darkest depths of the ocean and for once, I want to let it."

Then he meets Saylor. A freshman music major.

Honestly, the first half of the book I thought Gabe was an ass.



Gabe and Saylor pretty much hated each other the first half of the book. I'm not really sure what the turning point was, but it happened quick.



If I'm being completely honest, I didn't get their love connection. Like maybe I was missing something....



Gabe is torn between a past he can't let go of and a future that's out of his control.

"I want old memories gone...bad ones. So I can create new ones. Ones so powerful that the old ones don't even stand a chance."

Gabe's past doesn't allow for a new love. He gave his heart away four years ago and it'll never be the same again.

"Just because the girl doesn't end up with the boy in the end--doesn't mean she ends up with nothing. Life's a gift. I just want to share yours, no matter how small the pieces that are shared may be."

Now, don't go thinking I don't have a heart. This was a beautifully written story. I did tear up during one particular part of the book. The quotes at the beginning of each chapter were some of my favorite parts of the book, along with the music.

BUT....that ending?!?!?!



Engaged??? On that particular day??? Already???



Wasn't a fan of that....

In the end, I felt for Gabe and what all he had endured the last four years. That's a lot of burden and pain and suffering for one person to have to endure. Saylor was the light in Gabe's dark, the happy to his sad, the hope to his despair.

"God....wrote the ending before the beginning was ever even realized. Let's write our story the same way."

Overall, this was a good addition to the series. This series is definitely more emotionally driven....really packs a punch. So have some Kleenex and alcohol ready!

[Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

We first met Gabe in Ruin (which is a must read!) and although he played the part of man-whore quite well, you just knew there was something beneath the surface that he was masking. A past that he was hiding. Some secret that was haunting him. But throughout it all there was something about him that you just fell in love with. A glimmer of a story that needed to be told, Gabe effortlessly stole hearts during Ruin, but in Toxic, he earned it.

Saylor has one goal - graduate college. Everything is riding on her and flunking is not an option when a scholarship is at risk. She wasn't looking to meet a guy and she certainly wasn't prepared for the tattooed bad boy that slammed into her world and stole her breath.

"I always wanted to know what it would be like to kiss a tattooed bad ass with a chip on his shoulder. Officially crossed that one off my bucket list."



Their one chance meeting turns into more when Saylor finds herself in the middle of the secret life that Gabe has been trying to hide for the last four years. He knows his time is up and that he can't stay hidden forever. Will he allow Saylor to see beyond the mask and let her, can he ever let go of the guilt to move on and finally begin his story?



I absolutely loved this book. I should really stop being surprised every time I read something from this author, I've loved every single one of them. But the Ruin series is just one that hits all the right spots. I expected Gabe's story to be tough and I honestly had tried to figure out what his angle was going to be while reading Ruin. I was way off.... my theory.... During the scene in Ruin, when he comments on hating the Oregon Ducks at the football game, part of my was expecting this man-whore to be covering up an attraction to men.

I loved Saylor and how she stood her ground with Gabe, even if her knees wobbled a bit during each encounter. But she also saw so deep into him that you just had to love her. She was completely selfless when it came to him. I don't think there was one thing about Gabe that I did not enjoy. Even when he was being a jerk, his inner musing allowed you to see the reasons why. His story came out of nowhere and the way it unfolds, piece by piece ensured you never put this down.

Everything in this story turned the series on its head, the only thing to really stay constant was Wes & Kiersten. I loved being able to see little bits and pieces of these two throughout the story and was happy that interfere with the telling of Gabe's story. But Wes... I don't think I'll ever get over that boy!

"..you puked all over my bathroom - and me. Safe to say we no longer have any secrets after showering together, and if you ever, and I do mean ever, touch me there again I will end your life. Got it?" - Wes

Be prepared for one helluva story that will surprise you and ensure that you do that crazy laugh/cry combo that we all mastered during reading Ruin. But also embrace the little hidden gems that are tucked into this story about love, life, healing and letting go.

[♥Sharon♥ · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 Stars!!



I think one of the best thing about this book was that music was therapy for pain and sadness. Music has a way of healing and making things better. What is that saying? “Where words fail, music speaks.”

"Music had a way of sucking everything out of me, all my anger, hurt, frustration, sadness, helplessness. And there she had been, standing there just listening." ~ Gabe



This is the second book in the Ruin’s series. This is Gabe’s story. For the last four years Gabe has been floating through life, dealing with effects of a tragic event. What happened has set Gabe’s life on a course of deception. But the deception was done to protect someone he loved deeply.

As Gabe’s past began to unfold my heart broke from him. What he is enduring is both honorable and heartbreaking. Gabe is trapped in his anguish. He lives his life in a way that has allowed for him just exist, not truly be part of everything going on around him. As it becomes harder for him to deal with the pressure, he returns to the one thing that has always been a release for him, music. What he doesn’t plan for is meeting Saylor.

Saylor is a freshman at the University that he attends. She also loves music. When she stumbles (literally) upon Gabe in one of the practice rooms their meeting was a bit heated but they share a kiss that neither will soon forget.

Saylor becomes friends with Lisa, Kiersten and Wes. Events continue to bring Saylor and Gabe together but their relationship is anything but soothing. As much as Gabe is attracted to Saylor he resists being with her. His life doesn't allow for him to love again. But their love and need for music keeps pulling them together.

Saylor knows that Gabe is hiding something painful and just wants to be there for him but Gabe’s pain seeps into everything he does and says. He continues to push Saylor out of his life but Saylor doesn’t give in that easily. Even though the things Gabe says and does is hurtful she can’t help the way she feels for him.

"Just because the girl doesn't end up with the boy in the end--doesn't mean she ends up with nothing. Life's a gift. I just want to share yours, no matter how small the pieces that are shared may be." ~ Saylor

Gabe and Saylor are faced with things that no young adults should have to face. I hated the pain that they had to face and situations that they had to go through. As things change and their relationship starts to grow they have some really sweet moments together. Saylor has such a forgiving heart. I also thought Wes and Gabe’s relationship was great. Wes embodies so much kindness and strength, something that Gabe needed to be reacquainted with.

I did enjoy this story. Even though there was a lot of sadness there compassion, kindness and healing. So why not 5 stars?

As much as I came to love Gabe, for the first half of the book he was pretty much an asshat, jerk, idiot….any of these would work. Once the story shifted, things did begin to change and for me, he redeemed himself. :) The other minor thing was my delayed connection to them as a couple on a sexual/romantic level. They had a spark but it took a while for things to get to that point. And when they got to “there” things felt a bit rushed for me.



Finally, my thoughts on the ending, I’ll put in a spoiler. I didn’t love it but I didn't hate it either. I wanted them to have their HEA and I love that but a proposal and a marriage. That part I didn’t get.

[Geri Reads · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 Stars!!

I love detours. I already had a book on my currently reading tray but I clicked this one by accident (true story) and I didn't stop until I reach 100% on my Kindle.

*sigh*

I still need to process this. Full review to come!!

[AJ · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Had I known that any contact from this beautiful stranger would forever change me – would mark me for the rest of my life, wreck me from the inside out, completely break me down until I was nothing but a memory of who I used to be – I would still have made the same choice.
Funny, how people always say they want second chances, yet had I been given one. I would have travelled down the same road. Every. Single. Time.”

Wow. What an amazing story.

If you were a fan of Ruin, then I can pretty much guarantee that you will love this book. It’s the story of Gabe, the scene-stealing ‘best friend’ character from Ruin, who is hiding a big secret.

From the very first page, this book gets us right inside of Gabe’s head, and it is dark! He has been in hiding, living a life of secrecy for four years, trying desperately to move on from the past but also tragically stuck in it. Motivated by hatred and his desire to be somebody completely different from who he was, he is full of self-loathing and incredibly bitter.

“My reflection was foreign…I didn’t even remember myself – the guy I was. I’d been living with that damn mask for so long that I’d completely lost it – all of it. Thank God.”

Escaping to the one place he finds even a small piece of solace, music, he runs into freshman music student, Saylor. Saylor is a sweetheart, and very innocent, and she is captivated by the pierced, tattooed, man-whoring bad boy from their very first, rather unorthodox, first meeting. Gabe, too, finds himself strangely attracted to Saylor. But in true tortured hero style, what does he do? Of course, he pushes her away by acting like a complete dick.

“Don’t you have an STD to spread?” I tilted my head in cool indifference.
He pushed away from the wall, “Why, you open for business?”

“You, little girl, better be careful. You’re dangerously close to getting me to fall for you, and I don’t do relationship, I do girls. Call me if you’re ever lonely”.

Yeah, Gabe is a douche. And he aims his anger straight at Saylor. And when circumstances keep throwing them back together over and over, his douchiness continues to grow. I actually really disliked him there for a while!

But as Gabe’s secret life threatens to unravel, and as Saylor’s honesty and kindness starts to get to him, he slowly starts to lower his defences with her and we start to see glimpses of the ‘real’ him. And seriously… wow. Finding strength in Saylor, their shared love of music, and his friends, Gabe opens up, allows himself to feel again, and the change in him is absolutely incredible – from douche to swoony romantic hero - sparking an incredibly intense and beautifully sweet romance.

“I’m falling for you too. I haven’t fallen. Falling. As in still falling, still in the air, still trying to get used to the idea that I’ve just nose dived off a cliff with every intention of making sure the landing doesn’t break my fall.”
“And if it does?”
“Then at least I still jumped.”

The story is told in dual POV, which is absolutely essential, because there is so much going on as we follow Gabe’s journey, and also Saylor’s, as she battles, first against Gabe, and then alongside him. There is a lot of emotional up and down in this book, and things do progress very quickly. It’s not insta-love, but once those barriers are down, the romance is very intense and very fast-paced, perhaps a touch unreal, but still swoony.

Saylor’s loyalty to Gabe, and her strength in being there for him after all that he put her through is amazing. She accepts that he is broken, but she doesn’t hide away from her feelings, and all that that means for her. She is so selfless and giving, and what she does for Gabe, and the way she stands by him is true love at its most incredible.

“One day,” Gabe whispered, “when my heart is mine again … I’ll give you everything.”
“Gabe,” I said, sighing. “Right now? I’m perfectly happy with the pieces. No matter how broken they may be.”

Gabe’s story broke my heart. Most of his past is revealed slowly throughout the book, but hearing him tell his story in his own words, and then watching him deal with it all, is truly heartbreaking, and I did shed a few tears at one point.

I really enjoyed this book. I will confess I found the beginning to be a little confusing as I was trying to fit the pieces together and figure it all out, but once I got into it, it flowed a lot better, and I was enthralled. The love story is gorgeous, the emotion is beautifully written, and the intensity of the situation, and the bonds between all of the characters was sensitively and beautifully explored.

About the ending - Yet another declaration of undying love after a short time together, topped off by a teen (well, one of them is still a teen) marriage *sigh*. Not my favourite way to end a story, and yes, it was cheesy and made me roll my eyes, but at least it’s a happy one.

“Loving you will always be easy because when I look into your eyes I know you see the real me.”

4.5 stars.


ARC provided by publisher for an honest review.
Review can be found at www.nobsbookreviews.com

[Rachael*Caribbean*girl*bibliophile]

Spoilers ahead


Second best pathetic h who accepts crumbs from the H while his true love is paralyzed. When she dies he's free to love the h, apparently this occurs 80% into the book. A ROMANCE you say???? Where?!!!!!

Thanks to the review of Beeg Panda(no idea how to copy the link to that review😂) I saved myself MAJOR stress with this book

[Serena.. Sery-ously? · Rating 1 out of 5]

Rachel, sei proprio 'na poraccia.

*ATTENZIONE: Commento con spoiler (... boh, vabbé, in realtà la storia si deduce dalla quarta di copertina e dalle prime tre pagine, ma diamo a Rachel un po' di gloria orsù!) e fondamentalmente acida, d'altronde Rachel ha un suo scaffale, la hall of fame si paga!*

Per chi si fosse perso il primo romanzo di questa nuova ed entusiasmante serie targata RVD: recensione qui!

Dicono del libro:

Ma ancora non le hanno tagliato le mani come ai ladri? (Militante fanatico)

L'identità di Gabe.. NOOOOOO! Lo scoop dell'anno! Questa storia finisce in copertina!! (Redattrice di Novella2000, che in seguito a tale notizia è stata promossa a mega capo mondiale)

Per favore, basta. (Alberi sacrificati)

CHI esattamente non sentiva l'esigenza di scandagliare l'esistenza travagliata e difficile di Gabe?
No ragazzi, dai, non facciamo confusione: Gabe non è il ragazzo che si fa una ragazza a sera (o più d'una), che va ai party tutte le sere, che sta senza penzier come voi erroneamente credete.. Gabe è un'anima in pena, un essere che in "Ruin" non poteva che non scatenare i più profondi sentimenti di pietà e altruismo nel lettore, che poverino ha avuto il magone per tutta la lettura per il suo fato.. No, dovete guardare PIU' A FONDO, e capire le dinamiche che lo portano ad essere un personaggio così sfaccettato e complesso da meritare un libro tutto per sé (e diciamocelo: se non ci fosse stato, probabilmente la presenza di Gabe nel I libro sarebbe stata dimenticata senza rimpianti :DD)
Gabe è un ragazzo in fuga dal suo TERRIBILE passato e quindi è costretto a indossare una maschera: party, droga, sesso, ragazze intercambiabili, tatuaggi come se piovesse e l'imperdibile aura da bad boy fanno parte di un piano ingegnoso per nascondere la sua identità.
Prima di ponderare a fondo l'ennesima presa per il culo che RVD ha escogitato per questa nuova puntata della sua telenovela argentina, dobbiamo assolutamente rispondere alla domanda che è riuscita a togliere il sonno anche ai narcolettici dalla pelle dura: "E chi sarà mai costui?" Parte il toto scommesse:
1) un alieno
2) un poraccio rincoglionito
3) la reincarnazione di Odino
4) un famoso cantante/ballerino/attore cazziemazzi
5) Una rara pianta velenosa di una landa tropicale.

Dove senza alcun dubbio la risposta corretta è palesemente la numero 2), devo ahimé illudervi con il COLPACCIO A SORPRESA CHE SOLO RVD POTEVA DONARCI TRA MILLE EMOZIONI MOZZAFIATO: lor signori, Gabe è in realtà un Justin Bieber de noantri, un po' più figo e famoso: ricchissimo, bravissimo, dotatissimo, stella nascente del cinema, del teatro, della musica e di tutto ciò che può venirvi in mente.. Insomma una specie di divinità dei teenager sull'onda del successo.
MA COSA PUO' ESSERGLI MAI SUCCESSO DA COSTRINGERLO AD ABBANDONARE QUESTA VITA?!?!!?!?!

zanzanzanzaaaaaan! L'ansia ci uccide, il lettore non riesce a prendere sonno di fronte a tanta adrenalina e suspense, quindi la lettura prosegue a ritmi serrati: non si fanno pause, non si va in bagno, non si mangia, il cellulare è spento e.. Si attende.
Si attende palesemente invano perché nulla arriva a dare una svolta decente alla storia come Rachel ci ha ben abituati (a non ricevere sorprese, intendo), anche perché il primo capitolo del libro, che nelle intenzioni delle autrici avrebbe dovuto essere sibillino e accattivante è in realtà la solita poracciata che anticipa in due pagine il resto della storia triste.
Quando il Gabe-per-finta (ha un nome da popstar che il mio cervello si è sinceramente rifiutato di memorizzare.. Una cosa come The great John.. O Jack superstar.. O ancora, Magic Mike. Non ricordo, ma era ridicolo fidatevi! :D) aveva 19 anni - nel pieno della sua carriera, ricordiamocelo - aveva una fidanzatina di anni 16 che era L'AMORE DELLA SUA VITA, FOREVER AND EVER, MAI PIU' SENZA, una persona specialissima, l'anima gemella, la donna perfetta e (Aggiungete una serie di idiozie per renderla ancora più fyga e ancora non avrete raggiunto la tipa, nome ignoto perché l'ho dimenticato). Insomma, dopo una festa con alcool e droghe (che carini questi teenager ♥), la proposta del secolo di Gabe: "Usciamo con gli sci ah ah ah". Lei: "Spè, dai fammi prendere il caschetto". Lui: "No sorè, dai!". Niente, lei ha un terribile incidente e rimane paralizzata dalla testa in giù.

Capite ora perché Gabe sia Gabe? Perché abbia abbandonato tutto? Perché sia in incognito? (LE COMICHE. Lui si tinge i capelli, ha i tatuaggi e NESSUNO lo riconosce. MA SIETE DEMENTI?!)
... No, vero? La cosa non ha il minimo senso se non nel cervello dell'autrice, che tenta (non si può dire che non lo faccia, dai) di costruire da queste premesse una storia. Io sinceramente non penso di aver afferrato il motivo, ma magari sono tarda io..
Tornando al presente, Gabe da un momento all'altro sente che il suo tempo come Gabe sta per scadere e deve pagare per i suoi peccati blablabla (madonna che lagna che è); ma seriamente da un momento all'altro.. Come quando improvvisamente ti prende voglia di sushi, anche se un momento prima stavi pensando al pollo con le patate O.O
Nel mentre che la sua identità va a rotoli (in senso che ha proprio crisi di identità, non che lo scoprono.. Sono tutti troppo rincoglioniti per capirlo) c'è l'incontro provvidenziale con una ragazza bellissima, complessata, con una dura situazione familiare (boh, accennata in 3 righe e poi dimenticata) e via stereotipando - di cui ovviamente ho dimenicato il nome -; Gabe ne rimane folgorato e dopo 2,5 secondi è lì che le si struscia addosso e la bacia. Letteralmente. Ovviamente ha mille sensi di colpa da una parte perché c'è l'ex fidanzatina e poi perché dopo l'intervento (MIRACOLOSO) di Wes (Il rincoglionito protagonista di "Ruin") aveva fatto una specie di voto di castità promettendosi di non andare più a donne (che - cito - riesce a riconoscere solo se si alzano la maglietta, e non dal viso. Gabe, sei veramente triste. E tu RVD che pensi che questa sia una battuta divertente, sei ancora più triste!).
** Parentesi fidanzatina: la poveraccia vive in un centro specializzato costruito/finanziato e posseduto da Gabe stesso, che la va a trovare non si è capito se tutti i giorni o una volta a settimana.. Rachel non era ben sicura della cosa quindi ad una pagina Gabe sta sempre là, a quella dopo si rode l'anima perché "è un sacco che non va da lei". Poi sempre per il "a noi una personalità non basta, datemene 5!", ad una pagina Gabe la ama con tutto il cuore, a quella dopo il lettore capisce palesemente che lui le sta dietro solo per il senso di colpa e nient'altro.. Insomma, parliamo di Rachel.**
Come se non bastasse l'ansia da "Il mio tempo sta per scadere" (comunque un paio di passaggi a riguardo dovreste leggerli.. Fa quasi tenerezza il modo in cui RVD vuole dare enfasi a ciò che scrive e prova a dare profondità alla sua storia ridicola.. Cioè secondo me se arriva un lettore un po' distratto potrebbe anche cascarci!!), ecco che arriva la vera chicca della storia: il padre di Gabe è sul lastrico e vuole sfruttare la storia del figlio e della fidanzatina per fare i soldoni: per i media sono morti e quindi oh, pensa che colpaccio di scena svelare al mondo che in realtà non è così!!!
Qui inizia la parte fantascientifica del romanzo che sempre contraddistingue le opere di Rachel. La cosa è folle, preparatevi. Gabe se ne è andato di casa (forse per il padre o per dare 'dignità' alla ragazza che dopo tutto quello che aveva passato non meritava anche di stare sotto i riflettori della stampa.. Boh, non guardate me) e ha cambiato identità, ma continua a sentirsi con la madre. La madre dal canto suo vive ancora col marito, il quale SA che lei sa dove è il figlio. E pur essendo un mega pezzo grosso e con mezzi a disposizione, non riesce a ritrovare il figlio se non dopo 4 anni.. RAGAZZI CHE DISAGIOOOOOOO!!! :D

Vabbé, niente, Gabe e la nuova tizia si odiano (voi avete capito perché? Me lo dite?!), si baciano, si strusciano, poi riprendono ad odiarsi poi lui la fa piangere random (UN SACCO DI VOLTE) e quindi per farsi perdonare le dice che rimedierà per '5 lacrime' (A CAZZAROOO!) e fanno un sacco di cose patetiche e insensate insieme, facendo morire di diabete i poveri lettori che NO, non se lo meritano.
In tutto questo idillio d'amore, mettiamoci in mezzo anche Wes e Kriesten che sono vomitevolmente appiccicosi, lo scaltro lettore ha sicuramente notato l'enorme buco nero in cui RVD si è gettata a capofitto pensando di riuscire a gestire la cosa, ovvero:
- Gabe - fighissimo, bravissimo, levissimo
- Ex ragazza stupenda, amore della sua vita, paralizzata e malata
- Nuova ragazza bellissima che gli ha fatto perdere la testa senza speranza.

O cavoli, c'è una ragazza di troppo!! E come fare ad 'eliminare l'altra' senza far passare Gabe per lo stronzo quale è? Perché una scena con "Ciaone, io mi metto con la nuova" sarebbe stata per i lettori decisamente disgustosa quindi.. La scelta che nessuno si sarebbe mai aspettato e che di certo aiuterà a versare qualche lacrimuccia in giro.. Facciamo morire l'ex.
Ragazzi, che disagio. CHE DISAGIO!
Era chiaro da pagina uno ovviamente, però secondo me è la tipica becerata che Rachel non può proprio esimersi dal produrre.. Anche perché come già visto nel volume precedente l'autrice smette di indossare i panni di scrittrice e riprende quelli del famoso luminare di medicina quale è (e mi parte l'embolo): dopo le guarigioni miracolose da un tumore, RVD presenta un personaggio tetraplegico senza avere la minima cognizione di causa di cosa comporti, di quale siano le cure e le procedure e butta qua e là idiozie senza senso e profondamente offensive. La dipinge come una povera cretina, che un momento sputa sangue e quello dopo è arzilla e pimpante..
RACHEL SEI UNA VERGOGNA!

La storia prosegue con colpi di scena (...) e momenti mozzafiato (.....) fino a che il padre li trova e vuole i soldi. Allora Gabe, che fin a quel momento non voleva esporsi, decide che in fondo oh, non è mica un problema.
Il padre se la prende in quel posto, scompare così, come se non fosse mai esistito e tanti saluti.. La povera ex è già morta da qualche pagina (o muore qualche pagina dopo, non ricordo) e dopo cinque o sei righe di lutto stretto e di "ommioddio sono una brutta persona io la amo per sempre e comunque e non potrò mai amare nessun'altra nguèèèè nguèèè nguèèèè" Gabe si sbaciucchia la nuova e ciaone. Dopo 6 mesi, nell'epilogo, sono sposati.
Io a questo punto ho iniziato a lacrimare sangue..


RACHEL VAN DYKEN, IL DISAGIO IN FORMATO AUTORE HA COLPITO ANCORA!!

[Patty ~ Wrapped Up In Reading Book Blog · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 Tears to Make Up For Stars!!!

Toxic is Gabe's story, and boy since Ruin, I have been waiting to get this book!!
I loved Gabe!
I swear I never liked a secondary character as much as him!
This was definitely not what I expected!!!





Gabe is hiding many secrets, including his true identity.
His story is so utterly heart breaking and devastating.
The man whore on Campus, has actually sacrificed his happiness and life that he knew for his one true love.


This is a story of first loves, tragedy, and a chance at new love that can lead to saving your soul.

I loved Gabe even more once I learned what he's gone through the past four years.
The cross he has had to bear, is more than any normal person could truly endure.





His life changes when he runs into Saylor, a freshman who is majoring in music instruction.
Saylor hears Gabe playing the piano and is instantly drawn to him.
It also helps that she thinks he's the most gorgeous guy she's ever seen.

They get off on the wrong foot and Gabe spends a bit of time being an insensitive ass to her, but it's only to fight the growing attraction he has for her.
But his heart is not free to give to another at the moment.

His heart belongs to a Princess.

My heart broke for Gabe and Princess.
So young to have such tragedy in their lives.

Wes, Kiersten, and Lisa are back in this one and they are such wonderful and supportive friends.
I loved the close knit bond they all had with each other.


I really was loving this book and so head over heels for Gabe/Ashton.
Something just didn't click for me towards the last 20%.
The insta-love aspect took away from the story for me.
I wanted more time to pass before that relationship took off.
It just went full speed ahead and I wanted more closure with Princess.
She deserved better!!

But I enjoyed the story.
It flowed for me and was a pretty quick read.



My heart, my soul, it couldn't survive anything happening to her. If she wasn't in my world, my heart would stop. I knew it was killing her--because it was destroying me.



But no. I was playing a part. I was Gabe. I would never be him again, I would never be my past again.




His eyes pierced through me, nailing my body to the wall, holding me captive until I felt like I couldn't breathe. They were the type of eyes that made you want to either confess your sins, or give in to them.



"At least let me make up for five of them."
"Five?" I shook my head. "Five what?"
"Tears." He swallowed. His Adam's apple bobbed up and down as he leaned in and brushed his thumb across my lips. "Let me make up for five of them. I know there were a hell of a lot more. All I'm asking for is five."



"Just because the girl doesn't end up with the boy in the end--doesn't mean she ends up with nothing. Life's a gift. I just want to share yours, no matter how small the pieces that are shared may be."




If I could take away his pain...If there was a way to transfer it from his soul onto mine. I would take it. Without hesitation I would take it all. Maybe that's how you know you love someone. When you actually feel each tear they cry as if they were your own. When you feel each cut, each bruise, each hit as if you're the one suffering. I bled for him. And in turn, he bled for her. Funny, how life comes full circle.

[Nikki · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 Totally Toxic stars!!

I was thrown off at the start of this book to say the least. I read the blurb, and I was confused. I was confused when I started the book too, almost to the point I thought I should stop and go re-read Ruin, like did I miss something? I was told to drink before I read this, was the vino making me dumb?? Nah… things started coming together slowly but surely. I just wanted to put that warning out there, you are piecing bits together here until you get to the big stuff. The author doesn’t really clue you in right away. Patience, grasshopper. 

Straight up, I will post some general warnings.
Do NOT read this book if you are sad.
Do NOT read this book if you are in a bad mood.
Do NOT read this book if you have only read depressing, “I am jumping out of a fucking window” books before you plan on reading this one.
Do NOT read this book without alcohol (unless you are under 21, sub with Ben and Jerry’s, any flavor will do).

I digress.

So…Gabe, poor Gabe. He has demons, past/present/future. He has a wall around him that really no one can get through, until he meets Saylor. She seems to get him and they have a connection immediately and especially through their love of music. They have this love/hate type deal going on and that turns into more.



“I’m going to help you feel.”
“Feel what? It’s just music.”
“Just music?” I repeated. “That’s like saying you’re just breathing, or I’m just existing. Not true. Music is a story. And you’re the author.”

I loved the music aspect of this book…A LOT. I loved their connection, I loved the words, ate.it.up.to.bits. The drama with Gabe was very difficult to read. The ripple effect of one decision, however trivial, was extremely hard. I got choked up many times in seeing how this unfolded, and I will say that this whole aspect of the story is what I loved the most about this read. It felt so real, as something like this could happen to anyone. It just broke my heart. The author did an amazing job building this part of the story and really cultivating it throughout the entire book. Gabe is truly a rock star. The integrity and loyalty he showed, incredible. I do not want to spoil anything, which pretty much means I can’t say anything else

So I am going to give you my general thoughts on why I gave this 4 stars. There was something missing here. I am not sure I can pinpoint exactly what, but with Ruin, I felt that spark with Wes and Kiersten. You book lovers know what I am talking about, you can feel it when you are reading, that intangible spark that comes across the pages where you get transported into the book, like its actually happening to you. I didn’t feel that spark b/t Gabe and Saylor. It wasn’t Gabe that was lacking though, it was something with Saylor. I felt like I didn’t really know her well enough, she spent most of the book trying to get through to Gabe and dealing with him and the drama that came with, that when you were in her head that’s all you got. I wanted to know more about her family situation, HER. I just didn’t get that connection with her. Also, another minor annoyance. This book is depression on a stick. Once we got through said depression which is seriously like 90% in, I was hoping for just a bit of light. Meh..that didn’t really happen. We went from jumping off a cliff to "what?!? it's over" and I wanted a bit more in between. I wanted happy times. Minor, but wanted to mention that 

Overall, I did really enjoy this book. Not as much as Ruin, but I did really like it. I love this series, I love this author, I LOVED Gabe. I would recommend this to anyone who enjoyed the 1st book. And I can not wait for more of Wes and Kiersten in the next one.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

***ARC provided by Author for honest review****

It isn't often that you find an author that makes you fall in love with every single book you read by them. For me, Rachel Van Dyken is that author!! Toxic was my most anticipated book so far this year and I was NOT disappointed. I loved Gabe in Ruin and Toxic has caused me to fall In Love with him!! Saylor is such a wonderfully real female character!! Like all of her books I laughed so hard I cried and then ugly cried!!! Keep a box of tissues ready and hold on for a beautiful, heartwarming,heart-melting, heart breaking emotional ride that you will not soon forget!! If I could give 100 stars that would NOT be enough to cover how intoxicating and outstanding TOXIC is!!! if you haven't read Ruin yet, do that and then please Please PLEASE read Toxic!!! <3 Thank you Rachel!!!

[Kelli C · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ok, so I think because I was so in love with Wes and Kiersten that I wanted Gabe's story to be epic...and in one way it was. I loved the hidden identity and the course his life took. I loved his struggle, his passion and his big broken heart. More than anything I love how well he can seduce the hell out of you with the ivories on a piano!

My problem was that I just could not fall into he and Saylor's relationship...I kinda was wandering when it even happened? I mean...did I miss something...other than a fabulously intimate bond over music from a few awkward encounters I couldn't find how in the heck the fell for one another so damn fast! Lust or Love at first sight...seemed off for me since Gabe seemed to have one heartbeat for his first love that was shown through 4 years of constant devotion.

The connections between Gabe, Princess, and Lisa were def different and outside the box...but again I kept waiting for some big bad to happen, esp with his dark/mysterious appearing dad, but again the drama wasn't as bad as I was anticipating.

Overall, I found my fave thing to be the wise wisdom of Wes! I love his philosophy and his constant in your face encouragement. I also love the spiritual and "life has a plan for you" type atmosphere. I believe in fate, karma and a higher power and I think Rachel van Dyken does a fabulous job of making you even more of believer!

[Rumpled Sheets Blog · Rating 5 out of 5]

So...
I finished Toxic this morning and OMG!!! it was so
PERFECT
PHENOMENAL
IRRESISTIBLE
SO NOT EXPECTED
UNPUTDOWNABLE
ADDICTIVE
EMOTIONALLY CHARGED
POIGNANT with
UNIQUE STORYLINE and
THE MOST BEAUTIFUL ESCAPISM that left me speechless.

Perfection in words. Rachel once again shows that she is a gifted author.
I didn´t just loved Gabe´s story, I was emotionally invested and felt every single emotion. I was absorbed and owned and captivated by his breathtaking story.
An ultimate 10+ MUST READ.
Toxic like Ruin are stories that I wish I could read for the first time all over again.


≧◔◡◔≦ 10+ ✰ read ≧◉◡◉≦

>>>ARC received in exchange for an honest review<<<

[Riza · Rating 5 out of 5]

time check. 2:53am i just can't sleep with out finishing this book..
i won an ARC of this and i can say that it is the book i really needed to read as it deals with the process of letting go and healing.
as always, Rachel never fails to bring out all different kind of emotions over me. You really have that special gift in you Rachel.
i think Toxic will be another book aside from RUIN that will hold a special place in my heart...
As much as I want to quote everything i love in this book specially those words of wisdom coming from Wes freaking Michels.. i would just reserve it later for the sake of not giving away spoilers.

I never thought I would see Gabe as a book boyfriend material,he's just a friend to me in Ruin coz Wes totally captivated me but as I read his story I learned to love and understand him (BUT i love my Wes more) =))

to my fellow RVD's fans it is indeed another masterpiece of Rachel that would be worth every penny and more.
T. O. X. I. C. for sure will be added to your favorite re-read.. i just can't wait to have a paperback copy of this!

P. S. i really sucks in writing.. i'm not a blogger, i just love to read and this site serves as my "book diary", i always wrote what i feel after I'm done reading or while reading the book.

[Selly - Leggere Romanticamente · Rating 5 out of 5]

La mia recensione sul blog ---> http://www.leggereromanticamente.com/...

"Ricordati di Amare", secondo libro della serie romance new adult Ruin, è stata una lettura bella ed emozionante come il precedente, forse anche un pizzico di più!
I protagonisti principali questa volta sono Gabe (il cugino di Lisa ed amico di Kiersten che abbiamo conosciuto nel primo libro) e Saylor, una new entry che mi è piaciuta all'istante.
Ancora una volta l'autrice cerca di "spaventarci" con un prologo che non promette nulla di buono e fa pensare al peggio, ma non lasciatevi ingannare!
Ho apprezzato anche stavolta il punto di vista alternato dei due protagonisti principali e le riflessioni/ citazioni dei vari personaggi della serie all'inizio di ciascun capitolo, non me ne sono persa una.
La rivelazione assoluta di questo romanzo riguarda Gabe, mai avrei immaginato un risvolto simile!
Il Gabe che abbiamo conosciuto in precedenza era solo una maschera che nascondeva il vero se stesso. Non potrei descriverlo con aggettivi diversi da affascinante, strafottente, tormentato, complesso ma anche dolce e passionale. E l'ho ADORATO! Nonostante si sia comportato davvero in maniera pessima le prime volte che ha incrociato Saylor (ma un po' di ironia e qualche battutina al vetriolo ci volevano per alleggerire una situazione tutt'altro che semplice). Perchè Rachel Van Dyken in questa serie affronta tematiche toste dando vita a personaggi tormentati che conoscono la vera sofferenza.
Saylor è una studentessa di musica e la musica in questo romanzo è un elemento importante: è una passione, una ragione di vita, uno strumento per liberare le emozioni più nascoste.

"Quando ti guardo... io vedo te.
Oltre la musica, oltre il tuo sorriso, il tuo tocco, la tua risata. Io ti vedo."
"Ti vedo anch'io."

"Ricordati di amare" è un romanzo intenso, triste, romantico ma che racchiude anche un messaggio di speranza, proprio come il precedente.
Lo stile è sempre molto scorrevole e moderno e quel senso di ansia, di attesa di saperne di più e scoprire come andrà a finire mi ha tenuta incollata alle pagine.
Viste le varie rivelazioni, che non riguardano solamente Gabe, non vedo l'ora di leggere il terzo libro! Questa serie si riconferma una lettura imperdibile!

[Jenny - TotallybookedBlog · Rating 4 out of 5]

Jenny & Gitte: 4.5 Stars




“Don’t let pain keep you from moving forward.”

Jenny & Gitte: We first met Kiersten’s friend Gabe in Ruin and if we thought we loved the glimpses we saw of him then… well, we have to say, we are absolutely head over heels for this guy now after reading his story. Sharing his heartache and hearing his painful secrets and tragic past and his hopes and dreams for the future.

‘….but when a person’s so stuck in their own hole of darkness – it hurts like hell when someone shines a light on them. ‘

Gabe was the man about town, a fun loving man slut, for want of a better word, who didn’t do emotion, didn’t do relationships and seemed to have completely shut down his heart to love but we always knew he had a big heart through the love, protection, friendship and hope he shared with Wes and Kiersten.

In Toxic we learn so much about the man, his past, his despair, his guilt and the responsibility for one split decision that changed his life and the lives of those around him. Here is a man carrying a heavy load who had tried to drown his pain in alcohol, drugs and meaningless sex.

“Hate’s a good emotion.”….”Fill your heart with hate, then maybe it won’t hurt as much. That’s what I always say.”

Gabe’s story was so incredibly moving and you can’t help but unashamedly shed tears over his predicament. Gabe’s loyalty was so admirable. He never shirked his responsibility and the lengths he went to ensuring his loved ones were protected was heartbreaking yet inspirational.

“Just because we aren’t crying on the outside doesn’t mean we aren’t completely wrecked on the inside.”

We have to say, we had NO idea what was hiding beneath Gabe’s exterior. Gabe’s world could be a downright depressing place at times but this guy was truly amazing and we loved him dearly. His story is told with a huge helping of sadness and deep emotion which is lightly peppered with humour, mostly between him and Wes which we loved. Getting a glimpse into this bro-mance was so much fun and at times deeply moving. You sensed that Wes really ‘got’ Gabe and this book certainly had moments of true beauty.

This was another winner from Rachel Van Dyken for us. The music theme she intrinsically wove through the story brought a depth to not only her characters, but the story as a whole. It was handled so beautifully and we were enthralled with the way the author threaded this all together. As music lovers we got it, we felt it and we were completely moved by it.

‘Music wasn’t really music unless your soul was exposed, unless your heart was either bursting or breaking.’

Gabe’s epiphany in Ruin was just the tip of the iceberg in getting inside this tortured man’s soul, who possessed an overpowering instinct to protect the ones he loved. You feel his anguish, compassion, his hope, his joy and his sorrow. The foreboding you feel throughout the story is counteracted with some tender and heart-warming moments experienced between Gabe and Saylor, who was a beautiful character albeit slightly naïve and childish for her age at times, and also between Wes and Gabe.

‘I could take away his pain. If there was a way to transfer it from his soul onto mine. I would take it.’

Toxic was moving, sad, stirring and inspirational. Rachel Van Dyken has a supremely faultless way of telling a moving and sincere story that will give even the most unhopeful of us, hope.

'Music is life – maybe that’s why I’d abandoned it for so long. I didn’t feel like I deserved life – not anymore.'

Gabe, you left us breathless!

ARC provided by author in exchange for an honest review


**Reviewed for: http://totallybookedblog.com/
**Come say hi on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Totall...

[Gitte TotallyBookedBlog · Rating 4 out of 5]

J&G: 4.5 Stars

“Don’t let pain keep you from moving forward.”

We first met Kiersten’s friend Gabe in Ruin and if we thought we loved the glimpses we saw of him then… well, we have to say, we are absolutely head over heels for this guy now after reading his story. Sharing his heartache and hearing his painful secrets and tragic past and his hopes and dreams for the future.

‘….but when a person’s so stuck in their own hole of darkness – it hurts like hell when someone shines a light on them.'

Gabe was the man about town, a fun loving man slut, for want of a better word, who didn’t do emotion, didn’t do relationships and seemed to have completely shut down his heart to love but we always knew he had a big heart through the love, protection, friendship and hope he shared with Wes and Kiersten.

In Toxic we learn so much about the man, his past, his despair, his guilt and the responsibility for one split decision that changed his life and the lives of those around him. Here is a man carrying a heavy load who had tried to drown his pain in alcohol, drugs and meaningless sex.

“Hate’s a good emotion.”….”Fill your heart with hate, then maybe it won’t hurt as much. That’s what I always say.”

Gabe’s story was so incredibly moving and you can’t help but unashamedly shed tears over his predicament. Gabe’s loyalty was so admirable. He never shirked his responsibility and the lengths he went to ensuring his loved ones were protected was heartbreaking yet inspirational.

“Just because we aren’t crying on the outside doesn’t mean we aren’t completely wrecked on the inside.”

We have to say, we had NO idea what was hiding beneath Gabe’s exterior. Gabe’s world could be a downright depressing place at times but this guy was truly amazing and we loved him dearly. His story is told with a huge helping of sadness and deep emotion which is lightly peppered with humour, mostly between him and Wes which we loved. Getting a glimpse into this bro-mance was so much fun and at times deeply moving. You sensed that Wes really ‘got’ Gabe and this book certainly had moments of true beauty.

This was another winner from Rachel Van Dyken for us. The music theme she intrinsically wove through the story brought a depth to not only her characters, but the story as a whole. It was handled so beautifully and we were enthralled with the way the author threaded this all together. As music lovers we got it, we felt it and we were completely moved by it.

‘Music wasn’t really music unless your soul was exposed, unless your heart was either bursting or breaking.’

Gabe’s epiphany in Ruin was just the tip of the iceberg in getting inside this tortured man’s soul, who possessed an overpowering instinct to protect the ones he loved. You feel his anguish, compassion, his hope, his joy and his sorrow. The foreboding you feel throughout the story is counteracted with some tender and heart-warming moments experienced between Gabe and Saylor, who was a beautiful character albeit slightly naïve and childish for her age at times, and also between Wes and Gabe.

‘I could take away his pain. If there was a way to transfer it from his soul onto mine. I would take it.’

Toxic was moving, sad, stirring and inspirational. Rachel Van Dyken has a supremely faultless way of telling a moving and sincere story that will give even the most unhopeful of us, hope.

'Music is life – maybe that’s why I’d abandoned it for so long. I didn’t feel like I deserved life – not anymore.'

Gabe, you left us breathless!

ARC provided by author in exchange for an honest review

[CrazyForRomance · Rating 4 out of 5]

Questa storia mi ha stupito, quando ho letto il primo libro mi ero fatta un idea precisa di Gabe, che invece qui è stata totalmente rivoluzionata. Tanto in Ricordati di Sognare è spaccone e donnaiolo, quanto qui è fragile e bisognoso d’amore.

È una storia di sofferenza, di come dopo aver subito un trauma molto importante ci si sente impotenti, tanto da impedirci di andare avanti e l’unica soluzione possibile è nascondersi in una bolla. Ed è quello che ha fatto Gabe, celandosi dietro storie di una notte e via e allontanando- si da tutto, senza poter andare avanti, rimanendo ancorato a una realtà che non esiste più. Vorrei dirvi di più, ma il bello di leggere questo libro è stato scoprire del passato di Gabe piano, piano, dopo che ogni ipotesi che avevo pensato si era rivelata inutile.
Cosa dire di Saylor, subisce un po’ la figura di un protagonista maschile così forte, ma tutto sommato è andata bene così. I loro scambi mi hanno fatto morire, la loro storia parte male, basata sull’antipatia reciproca, ma come sempre succede, in realtà nasconde una grande attrazione. Anche se il loro innamoramento è stato un po’ repentino, ho avuto la sensazione come se mancassero alcuni capitoli che potessero integrare la storia. Mi è piaciuto che si è voluto dare più spazio ai problemi di Gabe, rispetto a quelli di Saylor, altrimenti il libro sarebbe risultato troppo pesante e poco scorrevole, e soprattutto che lei non ha avuto bisogno di lui per migliorare la sua vita, o accettarla così com’è.
Continua a leggere sucfr

[Suzana · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 heartbreaking stars!



Beautiful and emotional story ... Rachel sure know how to write a good captivating book ...
It made me laugh, cry, swoon, curse ... it also made realize how love can give you strength and hope to fight for you loved ones ...
I read it in one sitting ...
If you liked the first book, you will for sure like this one too ...

I’m falling for you too. I haven’t fallen. Falling. As in still falling, still in the air, still trying to get used to the idea that I’ve just nose dived off a cliff with every intention of making sure the landing doesn’t break my fall.”
“And if it does?”
“Then at least I still jumped.

Sometimes when we think God had written the end, what he really means is the beginning.