Finding Jim

by Susan Oakey-Baker

Finding Jim describes Susan Oakey-Baker’s struggle to confront the realities of life after the death of her husband, renowned mountain guide Jim Haberl, the first Canadian to summit the most difficult mountain in the K2. For fifteen years they had spent time adventuring together around the skiing the Himalaya, rafting in Nepal and mountaineering in North America. In time, they got married, solidified a home for themselves in Whistler, British Columbia, and planned on starting a family. But the future Susan had imagined was not meant to be, and when Jim was killed in an avalanche in the University Range of Wrangell-St. Elias National Park in Alaska, she was faced with a loss greater than anything she ever could have expected.



After Jim’s death, Susan spent time retracing the adventures they took together, in a desperate and obsessive attempt to gather and hold on to as many memories of him as she could. She travelled to the place in Alaska where he lost his life; searched the Queen Charlotte Islands where they had first met; trekked to the top of Mount Kilimanjaro where they had journeyed the year before his death; and scoured the hills around their Whistler home for traces of the man she had expected to spend the rest of her life with.



In the spirit of books like Joan Didion’s The Year of Magical Thinking and Maria Coffey’s Fragile Edge, Susan Oakey-Baker writes eloquently of her efforts to relive and reanalyze her husband's death, to defy the pain that such a loss causes and embrace the healing power of mountains, adventure and wilderness as she reimagines her new life.

Genres: Nonfiction

341 pages, Kindle Edition

First published September 23, 2013

About the author

Susan Oakey-Baker is a teacher, guide, painter and a writer and holds degrees in French literature and Language Education. She has twenty years of outdoor experience, having spent time ski touring, mountaineering, rock climbing, canoeing, kayaking, whitewater rafting and biking all over the world. She has worked as a nationally certified hiking guide in Africa, Nepal and North America and has guided more than 100 people, ranging in age from sixteen to eighty-five, to the top of Africa’s highest peak, Mount Kilimanjaro, for the Alzheimer Society of British Columbia.
Her photographs and writing have been published in Pique magazine, the Alpine Club of Canada Gazette and the Canadian Alpine Journal. She grew up in Vancouver and now lives in Whistler, British Columbia, with her husband, Joe, and their six-year-old son, Sam.
Her first book, Finding Jim, will be available in October 2013.

Reviews

[Stella · Rating 5 out of 5]

Finding Jim chronicles Sue's journey through grief and recovery after losing her husband, Jim in an avalanche. The book is honest and heartbreaking, painful and hopeful all at once. I felt as though I was cheering Sue on, holding her hand, guiding her through her journey to find herself again. In the end, her candour guided me. A wonderful read!

[Michelle Woodruff · Rating 4 out of 5]

First, I want to say that I work with the author's sister, and I was familiar with Sue's story. I read this book in one day. If I had to describe this book with one word, it would be "raw ". I'm not sure how she did it, but the author wrote in a way that lets you right into her soul, and I felt as though I was experiencing everything with her as the book went along. This book is heart wrenching and sad, but at the same time, it brings hope that people can recover from the most devastating circumstances. I was cheering Sue the whole way! I would recommend this book to everyone, and I'm sure that it has been a "healing" read to those who have lost people, as Sue did.

[Liralen · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is largely a chronicle of grief, of falling apart and then picking oneself up and figuring out how to move forward -- or how to find a balance between moving forward and moving on. Much of the author's journey details the process of trying to find her late husband to say goodbye to him, to really believe that he is gone.

The author had been with her husband for years (and known him even longer) at the time of his death, and her respect for his mountaineering experience -- and caution -- rings through loud and clear in the book. He was hardly an inexperienced climber way out of his depth, and I got the sense that the author viewed his level of mountaineering/climbing knowledge as far beyond what she'd ever achieve. But it's also very telling to look at the pictures (my habit is to avoid the photos until I'm done with the book) and see how comfortable the author looks in her own skin when she's out hiking, climbing, dangling off a cliff.

Although the book is full of climbing details (as expected), they're accessible (explanations where necessary, without insulting the reader) and also not the real point of the story -- the skeleton, yes, but the meat is in the author's process of working through grief. It's competent rather than stunning, but something that I could easily see on the shelves at REI or MEC.

I received a free copy of this book via a Goodreads giveaway.

[J. Geddes · Rating 5 out of 5]

I started to read Finding Jim one evening, and once started, immediately put aside the other book I was half-way thru. "Finding Jim" was a book that I found hard to put down.

"Finding Jim" is about finding yourself in the most difficult of circumstances. Oakey-Baker turns her story into every persons story. As a a reader I was captivated from beginning to end. Without being overwhelmed by sentiment, I felt I was given a window on grief and recovery that exceeds anything I have come across before. I was struck by her skill at bringing the story alive to the reader. Equally, I thoroughly enjoyed the style of writing and use of language. I was impressed again and again by how she captures a situation or element, e.g. slippery seafood and sweaty-sock smell of fresh cheeses, to name only two simple but perfect examples. Oakey-Baker has an exceptional talent at using language to capture emotions even the most difficult.

[David Thomson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I started this book on a long plane ride only knowing I was in for a very personal story. A few hours later I felt I was a different person. Sue's soul-baringly poignant, insightful and ultimately optimistic recounting of a few short life-changing years of her life is an invitation to look deeply at how passionately you life your life, what risks you take, what it's like to learn the hardest way possible about life's highs and lows and still keep creating your future with courage when the future only seems like a dim possibility of past happiness. While I did expect to read about Jim Haberl's accomplishments and drive as an outdoor adventurer, I was equally drawn in by Sue's own considerable achievements and tough-as-nails guts. Pick up the book, and when done put it down and reflect deeply on "what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life” in the words of Mary Oliver.

[Karen Richardson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is one of the best books I have ever read! Sue's adventure of "finding Jim", makes you feel that you are right there on the journey with her as she falls in love, goes on amazing travel expeditions and mountain adventures, deals with grief and ultimately re-builds her life. I enjoyed waiting in anticipation for Jim's next letter from K2 feeling so much hope for him and his journey of both summiting and finding love, to feeling so sad in my heart when realizing that Jim can't "find it all" in everything that he has. It was a heart wrenching adventure and I loved every moment of it! I could not put this book down. It was the perfect book to curl up in bed with, stay in your jammies all day reading. A must read, a great Christmas gift!

[Rebecca Barrett · Rating 5 out of 5]

Finding Jim is a book of high adventure, love, and learning how to live again after profound loss. I love reading books about climbing and struggling against the elements (not that I would want to do that myself!) and this novel had many thrilling expeditions around the world, in places like the Himalayas, Africa and Nepal. But it is so much more than a book of adventure. The story tells the journey of how the author, Susan, fought to deal with the realities of the death of her husband Jim, after a climbing accident in Alaska. I would recommend this book to anyone who likes reading exciting books about the outdoors, and what it means to find your way through grief and back.

[Nancy L. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Finding Jim is one of those compelling, 'can't put it down' reads that draws in the reader by tackling the universal themes of loss and renewal. Sue Oakey takes us to remote, exotic and fierce places around the world painting a vivid picture of wilderness adventures most of us will never experience. She weaves these adventures into her raw, heart breaking story of losing her beloved husband and shows how the same fortitude that drives her to the top of mountains is what gets her through a loss of this magnitude. Sue gives us hope, shows us that we can survive this kind of loss and go on to thrive and ultimately love again. Great read.

[Liz · Rating 4 out of 5]

WOW.

I have met Sue, but do not know Sue well. It was extremely interesting to read about her journey, knowing a very, very little bit about each of the loves of her life; to see how all the pieces connect.

How brave and courageous Sue is, in so many ways. The experiences she describes are incredible and impressive. Her journey of loss is obviously painful and her determination to get through it is admirable. To write about it and share it is wonderful.

[Nancy Lyall · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sue Oakey opens her heart in "Finding Jim" and holds nothing back. It's an emotional, passionate book about love, loss and her difficult journey through grief, eventually finding peace and love again!!
If you enjoy the outdoors, this book is full of adventure! Skiing in the Himalayas, rafting in Nepal and trekking to the top of Kilimanjaro.
it's a touching memoir that I highly recommend!!

Nancy L

[Jodi Pelling · Rating 5 out of 5]

From the first chapter I was taken in by Sue Oakey-Baker's world of outdoor adventure, love and profound loss. Her emotional roller coaster is real and riveting as she finds her way through the long, dark tunnel of grief. Her journey is honest and insightful and a must read for anyone who has ever lost a loved one, struggled with the pain of death and then grown from the experience to emerge back to living life to it's fullest……. a wonderful, well written book!!!

[Geoff · Rating 2 out of 5]

A very raw and painfully honest exploration of her journey through grief. The writing is nothing special, and at times a little plodding and repetitive, but her story of "the ones you leave behind" struck me. I actually bailed off a climb because of the headspace this book had put me into the night before. I also enjoyed the ratel long of Jim Haberl's life from a perspective other than his own or a fellow climber.

[Mike T · Rating 5 out of 5]

My favorite book this year ! Sue Oakey-Baker has proven herself to be first class at everything she does .Now she has proven that she is also a top caliber writer.From the minute you pick this book up you feel like you are sharing her experiences .Its a great read .You will not be disappointed!

[Dee Raffo · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book takes the reader on an incredible journey. Finding love, loosing it, and learning to love again. There are a lot of sad moments, but also happy and funny sections that let the reader know that hope is round the corner. This is a beautiful story, told from the heart and a great read.

[Barbara Gard]

good book, learned alot

[Cathy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Beautifully written. Thanks for sharing your journey of grief with us!