Mystery and Malice aboard RMS Ballast

Anty Boisjoly Mysteries #8

by P.J. Fitzsimmons

A 1920s cosy aboard a yacht on the Scilly Seas

Golden-age gadabout Anty Boisjoly, his valet Vickers, the weary and wary Inspector Wittersham, and a passenger list of howling eccentrics find themselves prey to the sway and spray of the Scilly Seas when what at first seems a simple, unexplainable, locked-stateroom murder twists into a tale of pirate treasure, perilous weather and treacherous endeavours at sea.

Just as with all Anty Boisjoly stand-alone stumpers, Mystery and Malice aboard RMS Ballast is best enjoyed by those who can stand some slight silliness in their maritime mysteries.

Anty Boisjoly Mysteries are old-school, clean and cosy, locked-room mysteries with improbable plots inspired by Agatha Christie written in the style of an homage to PG Wodehouse.

Genres: Mystery, Historical Mystery, Humor, Audiobook, Fiction, Cozy Mystery, Cozy

181 pages, Kindle Edition

Published March 1, 2024

About the author

I’m a freelance ghost for mainstream genres but when I’m my own man I write strictly for the laughs. I dream of an alternative reality in which PG Wodehouse wrote locked room mysteries, and in which I’m PG Wodehouse.

Reviews

[Teresa Collins · Rating 5 out of 5]

Once again Mr. Fitzsimmons has created a story that is part comedy, part 'locked island/stranded boat mystery, and all parts enjoyable. Anty Boisjoly is the quintessential example of the carefree, unconcerned member of English high society, except where his friends and family are concerned. Then he's the quintessential detective who always gets his man or woman but never lets anyone in on what he's discovered until he is ready to present the big reveal. And refuses to take himself or anyone else too seriously along the way.

Mr. Fitzsimmons' writing style is easy to read with comedic turns on every page. He must spend the majority of his writing time thumbing through his thesaurus to come up with all the rhyming words he does. I find myself giggling at times as much at the chapter titles as anything else.

I highly recommend this series as an excellent historical mystery series that refuses to take itself too seriously and provides unlimited opportunities for laughs along the way. I can't wait to see what Mr. Fitzsimmons does with his new series revolving around the antics of Anty's cousin Teddy Quillfeather.

I received a review copy from the author at my request via BookSirens and this is my honest opinion.

[QNPoohBear · Rating 3 out of 5]

Anty Boisjoly and pal Inspector Wittersham book passage aboard the HMS Ballast, a ship belonging to Archie, Lord Hannibal-Pool. Each has an ulterior motive. Anty wants to get closer to Lord Hannibal-Pool's niece Frederica. Ivor wants Lord Hannibal-Pool to give up his Royal Mail Charter since the ship has never once collected the mail. Archie is more aware than Ivor realizes and is prepared to sail the ship to the Scilly Islands to collect the mail. There's a storm brewing and Ivor is seasick, the rations are not what one would wish. As the ship sails to Scilly, a new passenger, Dare Flashburn, not only aims to win over Anty's cousin Theodosia "Teddy" but to find pirate treasure secretly hidden on one of the islands. Inspector Wittersham is surprised when the ship stops and picks up one dusty old truck containing one letter. He's even more surprised when the captain opens the trunk which was double locked and placed in the Inspector's cabin, and the dead body of Dare Flashburn tumbles out. A locked trunk mystery is something new and it's going to take all of Anty's rambling thought power to figure this one out.

A locked trunk mystery is very new to me. The plot was complicated and there was a lot going on. The solution did flit across my mind but I forgot about it. I had to reread the book to really understand it. Like Ivor, I suffer from mal der mer so this story didn't appeal to me all that much. I prefer a locked room in a nice manor house on land thank you! This story was also not quite as amusing as some of the others. Anty's stories are rambling but not as long-winded as the story of the treasure and figuring it out. The discovery of the location of the treasure map was quite clever.

Poor Ivor! He's out of commission on this one and really thinks he's going to die. I can totally relate! I have been there myself. He feels so bad, he accepts Anty's quackpot placebo seasick cure and thinks Anty's cure is real! He comes alive more when he has a murder to solve. I was surprised Anty fancies himself in love. His love interest's father doesn't like Anty. Gee I wonder why? So Anty has been writing secret love letters to Freddy with his cousin Theodora "Teddy" Quillfeather as go-between. The joke's on Anty because Freddy has a cousin with the same nickname! Winnifred Hannibal-Pool, daughter of Lord Hannibal-Pool, is newly single and ready to marry but Anty is ready to run far, far away from the whiny false Freddy! She's a negative Nellie who isn't happy unless she's complaining about something but like Teddy, I don't think she's that bad. She's far more clever than anyone realizes. She has indulgent parents who don't parent and she's been brought up to hunt for a husband but doesn't know how to go about it effectively. I like Anty but wouldn't want to marry him! Teddy is mischievous and enjoys her cousin's discomfort. She enjoys pulling elaborate pranks and could be a serious con artist if she wished. She's clever, very intelligent and solves some mysteries before the men. I think she's bored and gets into trouble when she's bored. She's on board to escape unwanted marriage but two of the passengers are on board only to compete for her affections and one more happily welcomes her attention.

Caspian Starbuck is heir to the Earldom of Bustleport and Leep. He comes from an old Navy family. He's the most proper of gentlemen and the most experienced sailor on board. He seems honorable enough but he is competing with Henry "Bunny" Babbit for Teddy's hand in marriage. Bunny is not as strong, handsome or accomplished as Caspian Starbuck. Bunny is brooding and kind of whiny. He sees himself the way other men see him - a weakling with no claims to derring-do or dashing deeds or even a sense of humor. His money comes from his mother's second husband who promptly died and left his fortune to Bunny. Teddy doesn't seem interested in either of them but they feel threatened by Dare Flashburn. I don't care for Dare. He claims his nickname suits his reputation. A big, strong guy, he seems to like to show off and brag. Dare seems kind of fake to me, cartoonish even. It's obvious he was killed for his treasure map but was he really? Or was he killed because he "stole" Teddy away from the other two suitors? Who did it is the question but how is the bigger question.

First Mate Clement "Minty" Moy looks like a cutthroat assassin or a pirate. He even has a parrot - excuse me, Macaw, Albert Ross. He speaks in malapropisms and is corrected by Albert Ross, a macaw. They're hilarious together. Minty is kind of creepy. He is also the galley cook and serves up hardtack and grog like they're on a pirate ship. I don't trust him. He's up to something and could be the murderer. Captain Slapton is also a piratical figure. I kept confusing them at first. The Captain is not very experienced at sailing in the open seas and sails them into a storm. He doesn't turn the ship around when the Inspector wants to return to Portsmouth. Lord Hannibal-Poole is cheap and lazy. He enjoys a lot of comforts and sailing to the Continent with all the luxuries but doesn't seem to want to pay full price for anything. He's cheating the Royal Mail by carrying the charter but not actually doing the work. One of three has to be the murderer or maybe it is a conspiracy!

Dear Vickers experiences a terrifying moment of confusion but it ends up being a clue to something important! He also illuminates Teddy's character and remembers an incident from his long ago past Anty has never heard about. Vickers was young in 1870 so he must be around 80! He's a dear and of course Anty would never dream of pensioning Vickers off and hiring someone younger. Plus I think he still needs Vickers to look after him and remember things about the family.

I still enjoy the series even if this one wasn't my favorite. The next one seems to be set on dry land so I am sure I will like that one better.

[Kate · Rating 4 out of 5]

a sinkingly good yarn

I read this while in a slightly fever induced cold coma and I am not exactly sure how it was done. I am not sure knowing how the murder was done is more important than untangling the one poem into two, to get the historical facts straight, but there you go. One sticks with me and one doesn’t. It will be more entertaining to read again!

[Kat · Rating 5 out of 5]

A nice tongue in cheek historical cozy mystery murder with plenty of mayhem on the high seas .The array of characters are vibrant, colorful, quirky and charming and will have you captivated and full of intrigue from the very beginning while the characters will draw you in it's a plot full of secrets, betrayals, lies and intrigue in a few different directions. I myself was quite charmed by the mischievous behaviors of the crew and guests. I certainly recommend this cheeky cozy mystery to anyone with a sense of humor and to those who don't so it can be cogues out of you .Acquire " Mystery and Malice Aboard RMS Ballast " today so you yourself can enjoy it as much as I have. The 8th book in the ( Anty Boisjoly Mysteries). Kat

[Liz · Rating 4 out of 5]

The wonderful craziness begins again! I nearly felt seasick myself trying to keep all the idiosyncrasies of this boatload of characters straight. I would have liked to have seen more of Vickers (what lines he had were terrific), and there was hardly time to get to know (and therefore care about) the murder victims before they were history. But the growing friendship between Anty and Ivor is worth it all. Evidence that opposites indeed attract. Another good mystery in this charming series. I received a copy from Book Sirens and was not required to post a review.

[Ryan Hoffman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Yet another great mystery adventure with Anty, Vickers, and Inspector Wittersham. They are on a cruise and all our hero wants is romance but what he gets is yet another body and case to solve. Always fun reading the books in this series.

[BBoulier · Rating 5 out of 5]

PJ Fitzsimmons’ “Mystery and Malice aboard the HMS Ballast” (2023) is the eighth book in the Anthony (Anty) Boisjoly series set in the 1920s. In this one Anty, his valet Vickers, and Inspector Wittersham join others aboard the HMS Ballast on a trip to the Scilly Isles. There is a locked-stateroom murder which may relate to a missing treasure map. As is typical of the other books, the plot is a good one with numerous eccentric characters, including a macaw (Albert Ross) who corrects everyone’s grammar. The book is well-written. There were many funny passages.

1. “She’s also among that inadequately rare breed of bird who can find happiness only in complaint. The girl’s principal form of social interaction is the petty grievance.”

2 “Inspector Wittersham asked me to invite him as only ‘an acquaintance’. I suggested ‘dear friend’ but he expressed himself unlikely to be able to carry it off for long.”

Someone has described one of the earlier books in the series as a cross between PJ Wodehouse and Agatha Christie. It’s an apt description. You can read this one without having read the first seven, but all are great. It’s one of the most enjoyable series I have read in years. If you have Kindle unlimited, you can rent it for free. Highly recommended.

[Athena · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another hilarious Anty Boisjoly mystery, probably my favorite in a while. Anty continues to find himself involved in impossible murders--solving them, that is. And this time, he is joined by smugglers, whining socialites, and a parrot (Macaw!) who corrects people's grammar.

I did not figure out the ending, nor any of the twists leading up to it. And poor Anty doesn't figure out until too late that he's been conned by not one, but two people. On the bright side, he's finally getting somewhere in his one-sided bromance with his tame Scotland Yard inspector, Ivor Whittersham. AND it turns out Anty's lovely lady cousin, Teddy Quillfeather, is a hoot and half, worthy of her own books.

I would follow Anty to the ends of the earth and this nautical farce had me giggling and craving grog and stargazy pie. I'd set sail with this crew any day.

I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

[Betsy · Rating 5 out of 5]

P.J. Fitzsimmons is a master of words and phrases. His characters are outrageous but still remind you of people you know. That does not include the macaw Albert Ross who is just so special. The mysteries are super complex. Even after the reveal you think “what, how did they do that”. Which i believe is the idea.

Have read all his books so far and they are getting better not stale. So often a series starts to wander but not Anty’s antics. In short, silly as these may be I love these books. Not everyone will but i do and that’s what is important to me. The author mentions his love of P. G. Wodehouse and has emulated this idol very well. Keep on writing please.

[Kenneth · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm not really a mystery fan. I like plenty of mysteries, I just don't care about the mystery particularly. In this case I love the voice of Anty Boisjoly, our main character and the cast of crazies that inhabits every book. Still a ton of fun eight books in.

[Ka · Rating 5 out of 5]

OMG! 5 STARS FOR THE SCENE WHERE IVOR GETS TRASHED AND TELLS ANTY HOW HE REALLY FEELS ABOUT HIM! XD XD

I thought my inner fangirl had gone totally dormant now that I'm a middle-aged lady, but I guess she's still in there someplace, because I rewound my audiobook about 3 times to re-listen to this scene since it was so gosh-darned adorable. As we walked and I listened, I said out loud to my dogs, "AWWWWW, he called him Anty!" *REWIND*

My heart was warmed. Anty makes the comment that the last time he felt this way was when his dad said he was proud of him, due to mistakenly thinking he'd grown a beard at the age of 12 or something like that. And obviously, Ivor would be a way better father figure than Anty's actual dad was, no matter how amusingly deviant the guy might have been. (He'd also be a better mom than Anty's actual mom. I'm sure he'd at least recall Anty's birthday. In fact, I want to see that happen in a future book. I demand to see Anty experience actual non-ironic, non-carefully-considered emotions! I want his facade to actually crack, just for a moment!)

Aside from MY FAVORITE SCENE, how was the book? It was fine. The usual 2 dead bodies (at intervals) and fun animal character (in this book, it is a talking macaw named Albert Ross) and crazy twist, plus lots of amusing character scenes. A fun new character we meet is another of Anty's cousins (as Ivor comments, Anty seems to have a crazy number of cousins), the mildly evil Teddy Quillfeather, a mischievous but not malevolent young flapper who is also apparently going to get her own spinoff series of books. I'm not sure I'll enjoy them as much as these, because her pranks (as recounted by Anty), though mostly harmless, struck me as quite thoughtlessly selfish at times. Hopefully she'll be more sympathetic as a main character.

[Daryl P Goodwin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Anty discovers the perils of poetry.

P J Fitzsimmons treats us to a mystery set on a ship sailing around the Scilly Isles. This limits the suspects for the shenanigans to almost everyone onboard. We hear of cousins, inamarata and a macaw called Albert Ross. Say the latter with emphasis on the middle section and you will better understand the playfulness of the author. Although there is the trademark alliteration in this text, there is more emphasis on poetry - sometimes smuggled in and sometimes an explicit example.

There is plenty of distraction and sub-plots abound with secrets and connections to discover. I sussed the correct suspect quite early in this one, but still found the resolution and expanded backstory satisfying. We learn more of the relationship between the Scotland Yard inspector and our convivial, clubbable central character. An easy and amusing read which makes me eager to hear more of this cast. You will need to read the book to discover how poetry puts our purveyor of philosophy in peril and how horrible it can be.

I received a free advance review copy, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was my first read of P.J. Fitzsimmons and my first Anty Boisjoly mystery. As the author states in his bio, it's very much like Wodehouse and Wooster and I found it a fun read.

The writing was humourous and not the kind of book that you could easily skim read or plow through quickly. Rather it was a book to read slowly and savour, as that way you got every tasty morsel of every joke.

I quite liked the characters and can see how Anty is up to his 8th book. Teddy was also extremely fun and can see at the end of the book, after the story, that she has got her own writings too.

The storyline was a bit slow, not knowing what really pushed it along at times and I certainly didn't guess the ending.

Overall, quite enjoyable.

Thanks to BookSirens and the author and publisher for a copy to read. I am leaving the review voluntarily.

[Ruth Coulson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Further high jinks with Anty Boisjoly and his group of friends. All of whom, it must be said have odd names - well, odd to us, but this was in the 1920s and may have been quite usual. The young women are called Freddy and Teddy, the young men are Bunny and Caspar and so on, and an important member of the (rather small) crew is Minty. All jolly good fun.

The mystery seemed to me to be perfectly impenetrable until Anty found his way through the murk in his usual fashion. How does he do that? And then Teddy had it taped too!

All in all enjoyable, but not, I think, quite the standard of the previous books of this series that I have read. But then, I wouldn't have wanted to miss it.

I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

[Jennifer Elders · Rating 4 out of 5]

We are back with Anty Boisjoly and Inspector Wittersham abroad for what should have been a gaunty sail to catch low key mail smuggler. Even this time around Wittersham admits that impossible murders seem to follow Anty around, bit that’s the fun part, isn’t it? Once again, solving the puzzle is 2nd to enjoying the wit and word play of our crew. My heart almost stopped during the scene when the Inspector actually admitted that he almost sorta like Anty. Swoon. We are also reintroduiced to Anty’s cousin Teddy, who is a pioneering young woman, to say the least. Her own series of planning and executing heists is teased and is sure to be just as good.
Thank you Book Sirens for providing me with an advanced review copy for free, and I am reviewing this voluntarily.

[Emily · Rating 4 out of 5]

Mostly a typical delight, although there was a missing je ne sais quoi. I would have given it 3.5 stars, but, because I adore the series and it was a holiday weekend, I rounded up.

One factual nit-pick: on p. 162 a character was said to have read "the classics" at Oxford, which covered Machiavelli. As far as I am aware, there has never been any such course. One can read (Oxford term for the US "study") Classics (note the capital C), which covers Ancient Greece and Rome. There is no one course that covers works which are counted in the Western Cannon. If we're talking about dear old Niccolo, his writings could be covered in philosophy or politics, both of which had an established Faculty/Department in 1929. There, I feel much better for having gotten this out of my system.

[Shrikanth Venne · Rating 5 out of 5]

This Author's book is my first where I have read all his book previously it was Nicholas sparks but I have not read his last book. So this is the first that I have read all the books of a author. The locked room and box murder is the outline of this book. As usual the mystery solver Anty, Scotland yard inspector Ivor and Anty's beautiful cousin Teddy and other characters take voyage to priority Island in Sicily in the voyage there is a murder of one Dare Flashburn. Who is the culprit and what is the motive? To solve this comes in Anty and Ivor. There is also a treasure hunt but do they find the treasure is also a big ?. Overall I would say it's really really very awesome Goodreads....:)

[Delphia Von Heeder · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mystery and Malice Aboard RMS Ballast is Book 8 in Sn Anty Boisjoly Mystery by P J Fitzsimmons. Anty Boisjoly is a wonderful series. Anty along with Vickers and Inspector Wittersham are on a ship journey. I find this author writes enjoyable cozy mysteries that are fun with great characters. I also enjoy that the books are set in the early 1900s. If you enjoy a great mystery with a touch of silliness, this book and series should be on TBR list. I received an arc for free and am leaving my review voluntarily.

[Mary Ryan · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is another funny and clever read. Anty and Ivor set sail aboard the RMS Ballast. Ivor has an ulterior motive, looking into some mail fraud. The murder of a passenger and the ensuing investigationt plus the hunt for possible treasure adds to the silliness of the overall tale.

This is full of great characters and it's just great fun. The reveal at the end took me by surprise. Can't wait for the next.

I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

[Jane Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have to be in the mood to read an Anty Boisjoly novel. With lines like ..” The fog was now the rough density of a glass of milk and it swirled about the feet like suspicious poodles.” I need to savor the fun. This one did not disappoint.After writing to the wrong girl for six months, Anty ends up on a cruise with her, the inspector and a cast of crazies. Of course, a murder and buried treasure break up the monotony.

I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review Voluntarily

[Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another well written wild mystery in the Anty Boisjoly series. This time, Anty and the inspector are at sea in more than one sense of the phrase. A unique take on the locked room mystery had me guessing right up to the big reveal. Eccentric characters and witty banter kept me on my toes and my attention riveted. The writing even had me feeling a bit of the mal de mer at times. Finally, the scene in the billiards room (on a boat, no less) had me chuckling out loud. One of my favorites in the series.

[Beverly]

Here we go again with all the craziness only Anty and crew bring where ever they go!! The story gets bigger and more complex as we go. Greed for the win and the loss. The story was made all the better when the reveal came, because I didn't have a clue who done it. What a stimulating edge of your seat read I couldn't put down. I voluntarily read a free copy of this provided by book sirens and am giving an honest opinion .

[Carol · Rating 5 out of 5]

Anty was aboard the RMS Ballast in the hope of meeting up and wooing Freddy, who he had been writing to over the past few months. Anty had fallen foul of Freddy's father and hoped that this clandestine meeting may win the fair maiden's heart and hand. But a pirate's buried treasure and a corpse comes along for the jolly ride instead.

As always, Anty's antics are brilliant and I have enjoyed all his books. Love the chapter headings! 5 stars as always

[Lawrence FitzGerald · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good everything, no theme. 4-stars.

I was going to deduct a star, because Fitzsimmons introduced a new character who is going to get a series all her own. I object strenuously. Not because the new character is uninteresting, but because Anty's mother is endlessly fascinating and deserves a series all her own. When Mrs. Boisjoly was informed of his intentions, she asked: "Who is this Fitzsimmons?"

[Gypsi · Rating 4 out of 5]

In this eighth addition to the Anty Boisjoly series, Anty joins friends for a yachting pleasure cruise, only to find his plans interrupted by piracy, smuggling, treasure-hunting, mistaken romance, and a grammatically correct macaw. Oh, and murder. It's another fun, locked-room mystery bringing together familiar characters and introducing an important new one. Overall, I've enjoyed this series immensely and am eagerly looking forward to the next volume, to be published in a few weeks.

[M · Rating 5 out of 5]

I literally howled with laughter so loud I scared my dog awake when the captain told the story of how he acquired his bird. I did not see it coming. The only other author who's ever managed that kind of long-range joke to hit me like that was the late, great Terry Pratchett. I've enjoyed the heck out of all of these books but this one finally prompted me to actually write a review. Extremely enjoyable, giant thanks to Mr. Fitzsimmons for the laughs.

[Kati · Rating 3 out of 5]

In this book, Anty is as hilarious as always. Vickers is... Vickers. Teddy does as Teddy wants. Everyone but Anty gets sloshed during a storm. Ivar finally sees the light and calls Anty his friend, though it's more of a quiet muttering than a call. And there's a pool table. On a boat! Because why not, right?

So why just three stars? Because the mystery was really hard to follow this time around. Which was a feat considering it took place on a boat with a limited circle of suspects.

[Leah · Rating 2 out of 5]

Audio, narrated by Tim Bruce

This was occasionally amusing, and I enjoyed the continuous wordplay, punning, alliteration, and jokes, but it felt like it crossed the line of quirky, intelligent whimsy to straight up ridiculousness. I didn't feel like it was a complete waste of time, but it wasn't as enjoyable as previous offerings in the series.

Tim Bruce was, however, an absolutely fantastic narrator. He really brings the series to life, and is an excellent choice.

[Sharmani Jayaram · Rating 5 out of 5]

Anty and his friends Vickers and Inspector Wittersham go on a cruise . Murder with tales of buried treasure and danger at sea bring a lot of twist and turns to this tale. There is romance too to make this an exciting and enjoyable read. I received this ARC copy via booksirans and leave a honest review.I recommend this book to other readers.

[Deirdre E Siegel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Don your legally required life vest for this ocean going voyage with Ivor, Anty, Wittersham and other blood linked cabin fillers of vague renown in this fabulous pre-life jacket era of Scilly Island bound sipping supping olde school beans for a whiff of rest and relax amidst murder
and mayhem only Anty and Wittersham appear to organize for beating boredom bravely abroad.