I have so many complicated feelings about this book. It was recommended on one of my favorite Booktube channels, one of the main characters is plus-sized, and it's a romance with a hunky mountain man. Why wouldn't I like it?
**RANT ALERT**
YEAH....I really, really didn't like it. I don't even know where to start because so much of what I feel probably is the exact opposite of what other people might. I guess I can start with the plus-size rep because, let's be honest, that's what I came for. I think there's a right way to do it, and the right way, sorry to say, is not to have the plus-size MC complain constantly about being fat and then moping the fuck around and being annoying as all-get-out and only feeling attractive when someone else convinces her that she is and maybe only marginally feeling better only after losing weight, even though she started at like 190 pounds. PLEASE, just shut the fuck up, Mallory. You don't have real problems.
Now, here's the part where I say that I realize that Mallory may exactly represent how a lot of plus-size ladies feel. Heck, there were a few lines here or there that I related to, but I could barely respect her as a character and couldn't see what Finn saw in her. I just couldn't. Be confident. Who cares if you're fat? Sure, health is important, but good fucking LORD, I couldn't listen to her complain one more time about her weight and how people saw her and then just straight up refusing to believe Finn for the longest time about his feelings about her and her weight. When he kept asking about how much she weighed at the beginning of the book because he didn't think she was fat and then she said she weighed 190 pounds and was considered to be "morbidly obese" by her asshole doctor, I literally died laughing. Add 100 pounds to that and then talk to me, Mallory.
I couldn't for the life of me understand why Finn liked her. She complains constantly, eats like a fucking rabbit, and then, honestly, doesn't have much of a personality to speak of. What does this woman do for fun? What was her life like before? Why does she have such a low opinion of herself and why did he keep trying? Sorry, but I would have given up. It's not up to other people to prove to you your worth.
In addition to the abysmal fat rep, I couldn't abide most of the storytelling. Finn's ex was actually the most horrible person ever, and I legit lost respect for him when he stayed with her for 10 years and then couldn't see how terrible she was???? UGH. No wonder Mallory has a hard time believing Finn's opinion. He's a shit judge of character.
I could go on and on here about how much I just really didn't like this book, but at the end of the day, this is not the rep I was looking for. Sure, we all have our insecurities, but I have never, EVER felt the way Mallory does, been treated differently because of my weight, and I was never made fun of when I was a kid or as an adult. Maybe I'm lucky. Maybe I have an actual personality. Or maybe I should write a better book than this one. Seriously. I should have read the book about Finn's gay brother instead because that at least sounded better, but now I can wave goodbye to Lydia Michaels forever because...we're done.