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The Law of Loving Others
Terrified by the realization that she could lose her mother to schizophrenia, Emma spirals out of control over the course of one winter break.
The car glows with that careless feeling before the freedom of winter break as Emma drives home from boarding school with her boyfriend, Daniel. But when Emma calls to tell her mom she’ll be home before dinner, something is wrong. Just hours after Emma returns home, she realizes that her mom is suffering from a schizophrenic break. Emma’s entire childhood and identity is called into question. How could the woman who sent huge care packages of candy to sleep away camp be the same woman duct taping their windows to keep out the voices in her head? In her search for answers, Emma lands on a terrible possibility: schizophrenia is genetic. Emma could have only a few more years of sanity. Emma could end up just like her mom.
In the span of just one winter break, Emma’s life falls apart. Her relationships alter forever and she is forced to see the hard reality in a line from Anna Karenina: “The law of loving others could not be discovered by reason, because it is unreasonable.”
The car glows with that careless feeling before the freedom of winter break as Emma drives home from boarding school with her boyfriend, Daniel. But when Emma calls to tell her mom she’ll be home before dinner, something is wrong. Just hours after Emma returns home, she realizes that her mom is suffering from a schizophrenic break. Emma’s entire childhood and identity is called into question. How could the woman who sent huge care packages of candy to sleep away camp be the same woman duct taping their windows to keep out the voices in her head? In her search for answers, Emma lands on a terrible possibility: schizophrenia is genetic. Emma could have only a few more years of sanity. Emma could end up just like her mom.
In the span of just one winter break, Emma’s life falls apart. Her relationships alter forever and she is forced to see the hard reality in a line from Anna Karenina: “The law of loving others could not be discovered by reason, because it is unreasonable.”
240 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 8, 2015
13 people are currently reading
1157 people want to read
About the author
Kate Axelrod
3 books12 followersKate Axelrod was born and raised in New York City. She has a B.A. in Creative Writing from Oberlin College and a Masters in Social Work from Columbia University. She has written for Nerve.com, Salon and various other publications. She lives in Brooklyn and works as an advocate in the criminal justice system. This is her first novel.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 76 reviews
January 31, 2015
NOTE: Somewhat more mature than the regular YA, it includes routine use of drugs, casual sex and constant f-words.
Very well written, this novel is a portrayal of mental-illness and how it affects those around the mentally ill person. Emma's fresh and honest voice was very powerful. Her realization and feelings about her mother's illness was insightful and thought-provoking. There are very few YA books dealing with schizophrenia and its effects, and this was a very powerful exploration from an outside perspective. The only other book I had read about this specific illness was Schizo and it was told from the mentally ill's perspective.
I feel somewhat ambiguous toward the fact that some issues were left unresolved and were not really addressed further. But I liked the open ending. It was a quick read for a book with such depth. Overall, it will appeal to the older YA audience with an interest in psychology and it's effect of familiar bonds.
Very well written, this novel is a portrayal of mental-illness and how it affects those around the mentally ill person. Emma's fresh and honest voice was very powerful. Her realization and feelings about her mother's illness was insightful and thought-provoking. There are very few YA books dealing with schizophrenia and its effects, and this was a very powerful exploration from an outside perspective. The only other book I had read about this specific illness was Schizo and it was told from the mentally ill's perspective.
I feel somewhat ambiguous toward the fact that some issues were left unresolved and were not really addressed further. But I liked the open ending. It was a quick read for a book with such depth. Overall, it will appeal to the older YA audience with an interest in psychology and it's effect of familiar bonds.
February 4, 2016
Do you know what I hate about teenagers, besides their ability to eat everything in sight and not lose sight of their abs? The way they all act like they're the only ones who are running the emotional gauntlet they're on. It would have been a God send to have a book like this when I was in high school, coming to the realization that a pivotal adult in my life was mentally ill. What an awful time in my life and what a great, visceral story that lets someone in that situation know: you're not alone, other people are going through a hard time and making terrible choices, too. It was a jarring read. Mental Illness makes ME feel stigmatized and isolated, having a parent with a mental illness was also a very isolating experience in high school. Everyone was awful, why expose a vulnerability in the quest for compassion and understanding from peers?
The characters in the book left me wanting but the more I think about it the more it occurs to me that the flaws that annoy me are what makes them teenagers. They're doing teenage things, treating each other poorly, and looking for love/comfort in the wrong places. When people mention they didn't like the characters I wonder if it is because they lack compassion for someone in this situation or if the characters hit too close to home. I know that I can say that I've been Emma and in other cases I've been Daniel. It is so damn hard sometimes and know other people are on the same hard path, making the same dumb mistakes is comforting in a way.
The book was well-written and would fill the need of child enduring the consequences of their parent's mental illness. I feel better about a lot after reading this, I wish it had been available to me sooner.
The characters in the book left me wanting but the more I think about it the more it occurs to me that the flaws that annoy me are what makes them teenagers. They're doing teenage things, treating each other poorly, and looking for love/comfort in the wrong places. When people mention they didn't like the characters I wonder if it is because they lack compassion for someone in this situation or if the characters hit too close to home. I know that I can say that I've been Emma and in other cases I've been Daniel. It is so damn hard sometimes and know other people are on the same hard path, making the same dumb mistakes is comforting in a way.
The book was well-written and would fill the need of child enduring the consequences of their parent's mental illness. I feel better about a lot after reading this, I wish it had been available to me sooner.
March 16, 2015
Eh, this was okay. I didn't have any strong feelings for the main character or her conflict. I had a hard time believing her reactions to her mother's illness, especially the self-mutilation. It felt forced and over the top to come on so soon. Maybe if I knew more about Emma before this happened and there had been some kind of back story to rationalize this behavior, but there isn't. It seems more like Emma was waiting for a reason to behave badly and went with it more than her actions being the result of emotional trauma.
September 9, 2017
GRADE: B+
4.25 STARS
After Emma returns from boarding school for winter holidays, her mother is hospitalized. Unbeknownst to Emma, her mom has been on meds for schizophrenia for decades. Emma's confusion and anger threaten her relationship with her boyfriend Daniel as she meets a new boy, Phil who also has family in the psych hospital.
THE LAW OF LOVING OTHERS has so many positive attributes. Kate Axelrod's writing voice and dialogue are raw and authentic. Axelrod gave Emma a sex positive persona. At times she used sex to deal with or forget problems and although she cheated, sex was a healthy part Emma's life. I never had a good feel for her relationship with Daniel; they seemed to be on different life paths. Nothing about him felt special, but I did adore his mom. Emma seemed to connect better with Phil over mental illness in the family, though it was hard to tell if they had anything in common except their families struggles.
Axelrod could have done a better job portraying the mental illnesses. Early on Emma recognizes her mother's symptoms as psychotic. A teenager with no knowledge of schizophrenia would likely not be able to put a name to the very confusing behaviors. Axekrod describes mania as euphoria, but in reality the condition often manifests as severe anger, anxiety, frenetic unproductive energy and other negative states of being. When Emma questions what "disorganized" means in terms of schizophrenia that part of the diagnosis isn't answered.
THE LAW OF LOVING others provides no easy answers or ending tied in a perfect bow, the reality of mental illness in the family. I do with Emma had gotten some therapy for her self injury, her mother's schizophrenia and Emma's own attitudes about relationships.
4.25 STARS
After Emma returns from boarding school for winter holidays, her mother is hospitalized. Unbeknownst to Emma, her mom has been on meds for schizophrenia for decades. Emma's confusion and anger threaten her relationship with her boyfriend Daniel as she meets a new boy, Phil who also has family in the psych hospital.
THE LAW OF LOVING OTHERS has so many positive attributes. Kate Axelrod's writing voice and dialogue are raw and authentic. Axelrod gave Emma a sex positive persona. At times she used sex to deal with or forget problems and although she cheated, sex was a healthy part Emma's life. I never had a good feel for her relationship with Daniel; they seemed to be on different life paths. Nothing about him felt special, but I did adore his mom. Emma seemed to connect better with Phil over mental illness in the family, though it was hard to tell if they had anything in common except their families struggles.
Axelrod could have done a better job portraying the mental illnesses. Early on Emma recognizes her mother's symptoms as psychotic. A teenager with no knowledge of schizophrenia would likely not be able to put a name to the very confusing behaviors. Axekrod describes mania as euphoria, but in reality the condition often manifests as severe anger, anxiety, frenetic unproductive energy and other negative states of being. When Emma questions what "disorganized" means in terms of schizophrenia that part of the diagnosis isn't answered.
THE LAW OF LOVING others provides no easy answers or ending tied in a perfect bow, the reality of mental illness in the family. I do with Emma had gotten some therapy for her self injury, her mother's schizophrenia and Emma's own attitudes about relationships.
January 19, 2015
”The law of loving others could not be considered by reason, because it is unreasonable.”- Anna Karenina
Setting:Westchester, New York and New York City, New York; 2015
Coverly Love?:No; it doesn’t draw my attention and isn’t particularly interesting.
Plot:Emma and her boyfriend Daniel have just finished finals and are on their winter break from boarding school. Eager to see her friends and family, Emma is looking forward to not only making up for lost time with her parents, but to deepen her relationship with Daniel. But as soon as Emma gets home, she senses that something’s not right, particularly when it comes to her mother. She’s convinced that her clothes have been changed around, and that deadly toxins are trying to come in through the windowsill and kill them all. Frantic with worry, Emma soon realizes that her parents have been keeping a dark secret from her: her mother has schizophrenia, and this isn’t the first time she’s had a mental breakdown. With her world falling apart around her and fearful that she too might one day suffer from the same disease that her mother has, Emma begins to spiral out of control. Will the cycle of madness that runs in her family catch up with her?
To me, mental illnesses are just as, if not more, terrifying than physical ailments. You’re slowly losing your mind, yet you’re powerless to stop it. You’re fully conscience of the changes, yet there’s nothing you can do about it. Honestly, most people with mental illnesses simply don’t recognize something’s wrong in their wiring. They don’t recognize how truly terrifying their descent into potential madness is for them and everyone they love. This novel fully captures the fear, desperation, and true terror that comes along with not only having a mental illness, but what happens when someone you love has the disease. And it comes into focus the serious question you might ask yourself if someone close to you has a mental disorder.
Am I next? Will I be the next victim to descend into madness?
I thought the author tackled this subject with sensitivity and care, though I thought that she didn’t really go deep enough when it came to actually capturing the disease itself and how it truly affects the subject.
Characters:
”What I saw was that image of myself as a child, my small feet perched on the edge of the stepladder in my grandmother’s home, staring out the window ahead, looking for my mother, waiting for her to come back to me. ”Emma has always lived a pretty typical life. An adored only child, she’s always relied on her mother to be her rock. And now suddenly, her mother’s gone mad and poor Emma is left to fend for herself. Honestly, Emma wasn’t the most likable character in the entire world. Sure, I understand she wants to forget all the chaos that’s been thrown upon her, but she does it in a way that makes me entirely unsympathetic to her situation. To be fair though, I don’t know how I’d personally react if my mother was diagnosed with schizophrenia, but I certainly wouldn’t engage in the reckless behavior she did. Not to mention she was kind of hypocritical in most situations. One minute she says that she doesn’t want to go to parties because it doesn’t feel right for her to be having fun while her mother’s in the mental hospital. The next minute? She’s drunk as a skunk, smoking joints and snorting a line of cocaine. But there’s one thing that’s driving this overdrive of crazy behavior; Emma is absolutely terrified that she too will become just like her mother.
”My thoughts ran like this; You’re crazy, so crazy, you’re losing it, just like your mother...”And it’s a true, deep fear. I wouldn’t be honest you if I said that if my mother was diagnosed with a mental disorder, I would be afraid of getting it as well, if it ran in the family. So while I thought the characterization of Emma’s fear was beautifully fleshed out, the character of Emma herself was not.
Emma’s mother has had schizophrenia ever since she was a young woman, but she and her husband have managed to keep it a secret from Emma until now. I thought Emma’s mother was a heartbreaking character to witness and read about, and even more heartbreaking when we got to see slivers of her old self occasionally emerge underneath all the crazy thoughts running through her mind.
”Even there, despite her madness, she offered that warmth, showed that instinct to be generous with her love. And therein the terrace room I saw the briefest, slightly heartbreaking, flicker of her old self.”
Daniel is Emma’s boyfriend. Kind of a deadbeat with no regard for taking his studies seriously, he’d rather be hitting the bong or the bottle than focusing on his schoolwork. But Emma likes him for his laidback personality (probably caused by all the pot he’s smoking)
”He was from Manhattan and had a certain laid-back way about him- he was confident and self-possessed…”. Basically, he’s great for a short-term fun relationship, but nothing too serious is to be expected. He just came off as more arrogant to me than anything else.
Phil is the twin brother of a boy Emma meets when she attends her friend Annie’s parties. Moody and thoughtful, his brother just recently had a bipolar breakdown and is checked into the same mental hospital as Emma’s mother. He also has an underlying concern that he might end up like his brother s well.
”And still, every time I feel super-excited or invigorated by something, wonder, is this mania? Is this what it’s like?”He and Emma embark on sort of a friends with benefits type of thing, even though she’s dating Daniel. I actually liked him a bit more than Daniel; he had a sweeter personality.
Pros:The author tackled the subject of schizophrenia with great care, and even though I have no knowledge firsthand on psychological disorders, she seems to have done her research. I also liked the portrayal of the fallout and aftermath of learning of the diagnosis.
Cons:I wish Emma and Daniel were a bit more likable, since they were the main focuses of the story. I also would have loved for the author to have delved a bit more into the character of Emma’s mother, and how the disease affected her personally as well.
Love Triangle?:Yes; Daniel vs. Emma vs. Phil.
Instalove?:Yeah; but what I would call between Emma and Phil probably doesn’t qualify as instalove, since they never truly enter into a romantic relationship. But since it did escalate kind of quickly, I would have to call it a yes.
A Little Romance?:
”How could I love Daniel, feel sick with guilt, and then suddenly, desperately want Phil.”Emma and Daniel have only been dating for four months when the novel starts, but I wouldn’t call their relationship a great one. I wouldn’t even call them a good couple together. It just seems that all they’re good for when they’re together is getting drunk, high or having sex. Things only get worse after Emma’s mother’s diagnosis, as she thinks he doesn’t truly understand what she’s going through. Then she meets Phil at the mental hospital, and a connection is sparked, largely by the fact that he also has a family member with mental problems. A friends with benefits relationship starts, though it has the potential to be something more.
”I wanted him to rescue me from my perfectly good boyfriend, who loved me, who was more than adequate but somehow still wasn’t enough.”Of course, when Daniel finds out, he’s not too happy about it. The ending to their romantic dilemma is left for the reader to decide (but I’m firmly Team Phil ;)
Conclusion:A riveting portrayal of mental illness and how it affects the ones closest to that person. And while I would have liked to see more of how it also affected the one diagnosed, I thought it was poignant debut.
Read This!:As I mentioned earlier, watching someone descend into the depths of a mental disease is a truly terrifying thing to witness. If you’re interested in reading more like this, I would recommend Still Alice by Alice Genova. Brutally heartbreaking in every way, but such a riveting read.
December 17, 2014
I received an advance copy of THE LAW OF LOVING OTHERS to read for an interview I was preparing with Kate Axelrod. I wasn't asked to review this book, but I enjoyed it quite a bit and decided I'd like to.
Just recently, we learned that an immediate family member suffers from a severe mental illness. It caused a big upset in our lives and I've now seen someone I love deal with a swift, jarring, and disturbing change not unlike Emma's mother does. As expected, a lot of the issues Emma deals with in THE LAW OF LOVING OTHERS hit home for me.
On winter break from boarding school, Emma starts to see odd changes in her mother's demeanor—until she and her father finally have to seek psychological treatment for her. And suddenly Emma learns about a history of schizophrenia as she watches her mother's mental state disintegrate. In the process, she is trying to manage a tumultuous relationship with her boyfriend, Daniel, who feels distant and not quite up to Emma's expectations for a boyfriend during a crisis.
The novel has a slow build—it was a little slow to start (the reason for my 4 stars instead of a complete 5) but picks up a huge amount of steam once the crisis is underway. Many of the questions Emma asks herself, I've asked myself. Wondered, helplessly, why I didn't see it before. Picked apart hundreds of individual encounters looking for an answer. Felt like the world was crumbling around you, even if it wasn't you having the breakdown, and taking it out on the people you care about.
Emma's uncomfortably honest as a narrator, and I saw so many flashbacks to my own high school experience in how she handles her relationships with Daniel and Phil. Wanting more from Daniel, but not sure what that something is; dissatisfied with whatever she does get; looking for problems so she can play the victim; this was certainly my reality as a teen girl.
I think we so often see "sanitized" lifestyles in YA that it's refreshing to see one that's not, that can speak to more than just the median, sheltered teen. Emma smokes weed (oh, NO! save the children!) and drinks booze. She's off at boarding school, where parents are less able to helicopter and shelter their kids. It doesn't surprise me that she and her boyfriend, under the leniency of Daniel's wealthy and liberal New York parents, have fairly free reign with their relationship.
I had plenty of friends in high school who did all of these things, and more. They're clearly not necessary to portray an authentic teen experience (obviously, all teens are different, and to call one "more authentic" than another is laughable) but they allow teens struggling with mental illness to feel camaraderie with Emma, to see themselves in her. She's finding ways to cope with this upset in her life and certainly substances are one place she turns for safety.
Not that it should have to be said, but even teens with extreme privilege like Emma, who drink and smoke weed and have sex with their boyfriends (and even people who are not their boyfriend—which is pretty darn messy) have to cope with mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers falling victim to mental illness. We all end up dealing with the same shit when mental illness finds us and our families. Emma's struggle to dis-attach from her mother's plight while still remaining loving and caring is a universal struggle, and one that I have found myself wrestling with often.
THE LAW OF LOVING OTHERS is a slice of life story that entertains while also delving into the reality that having a parent with schizophrenia deeply upsets a child's life and psychological stability.
Just recently, we learned that an immediate family member suffers from a severe mental illness. It caused a big upset in our lives and I've now seen someone I love deal with a swift, jarring, and disturbing change not unlike Emma's mother does. As expected, a lot of the issues Emma deals with in THE LAW OF LOVING OTHERS hit home for me.
On winter break from boarding school, Emma starts to see odd changes in her mother's demeanor—until she and her father finally have to seek psychological treatment for her. And suddenly Emma learns about a history of schizophrenia as she watches her mother's mental state disintegrate. In the process, she is trying to manage a tumultuous relationship with her boyfriend, Daniel, who feels distant and not quite up to Emma's expectations for a boyfriend during a crisis.
The novel has a slow build—it was a little slow to start (the reason for my 4 stars instead of a complete 5) but picks up a huge amount of steam once the crisis is underway. Many of the questions Emma asks herself, I've asked myself. Wondered, helplessly, why I didn't see it before. Picked apart hundreds of individual encounters looking for an answer. Felt like the world was crumbling around you, even if it wasn't you having the breakdown, and taking it out on the people you care about.
Emma's uncomfortably honest as a narrator, and I saw so many flashbacks to my own high school experience in how she handles her relationships with Daniel and Phil. Wanting more from Daniel, but not sure what that something is; dissatisfied with whatever she does get; looking for problems so she can play the victim; this was certainly my reality as a teen girl.
I think we so often see "sanitized" lifestyles in YA that it's refreshing to see one that's not, that can speak to more than just the median, sheltered teen. Emma smokes weed (oh, NO! save the children!) and drinks booze. She's off at boarding school, where parents are less able to helicopter and shelter their kids. It doesn't surprise me that she and her boyfriend, under the leniency of Daniel's wealthy and liberal New York parents, have fairly free reign with their relationship.
I had plenty of friends in high school who did all of these things, and more. They're clearly not necessary to portray an authentic teen experience (obviously, all teens are different, and to call one "more authentic" than another is laughable) but they allow teens struggling with mental illness to feel camaraderie with Emma, to see themselves in her. She's finding ways to cope with this upset in her life and certainly substances are one place she turns for safety.
Not that it should have to be said, but even teens with extreme privilege like Emma, who drink and smoke weed and have sex with their boyfriends (and even people who are not their boyfriend—which is pretty darn messy) have to cope with mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers falling victim to mental illness. We all end up dealing with the same shit when mental illness finds us and our families. Emma's struggle to dis-attach from her mother's plight while still remaining loving and caring is a universal struggle, and one that I have found myself wrestling with often.
THE LAW OF LOVING OTHERS is a slice of life story that entertains while also delving into the reality that having a parent with schizophrenia deeply upsets a child's life and psychological stability.
February 7, 2015
Emma is all set for a great winter break from school. She has all these plans of getting together with her boyfriend, her friends, and spending time with her parents. But when she gets home, she finds her mom is acting strangely and soon finds out that her mother is having a schizophrenic break. She struggles to accept this new information and to reconcile this woman who hears voices in her head with the same woman who sent her care packages during camp that were the envy of everyone. At the care facility her mother is sent to, Emma meets a boy who understands her and what she's going through better than her boyfriend ever could. Emma wants answers but she's terrified of getting them. What happens if she ends up just like her mother?
The concept of this book was what drew me to it. A young woman struggling with the sudden news that her mother has a mental illness and her parents kept it from her, and the realization that she could end up with it too. It sounded like it would be a great, emotional, and deep read. Unfortunately it ended up pretty flat for me.
I had a really hard time with the main character. I wanted to empathize with her, and to some extent I did, but I never felt any depth to her character. I felt like I was told she was scared, that she was struggling, that she was alone, instead of being shown through her actions. Her fear seemed more based around whether her boyfriend would still love her if she 'turned out crazy' than actually inheriting the disease. She did research about the illness when she learned her mother had it to find out her chances of getting it but apparently didn't do much research because she never mentioned anything about being concerned about the fact that she smoked quite a bit of pot and it's linked with the illness.
Another thing I couldn't get behind was the romance. Daniel, her boyfriend, was in no way perfect. Really, he was a typical seventeen year old boy, not wanting to think too much about the future, wanting to be supportive but having no idea how to be. And then there was Phil, the boy she met at the facility who she felt an instant connection with which she used as her excuse to hook up with him. Phil never felt like a real character, just a prop that was constantly used to show how inadequate Daniel was as a boyfriend. She did feel guilty at least but it still made it impossible for me to get behind either pairing.
The book was short, under 250 pages, but that didn't make it an easy read. The parts with Emma visiting her mother and seeing her so unlike the person she was used to were hard to read because they were so true. I also liked the responsibility Emma felt toward her mother, to visit her, wanting to take care of her, and having to face the reality that she was seventeen and in school and that there were people better equipped to help than her.
The concept of this book was what drew me to it. A young woman struggling with the sudden news that her mother has a mental illness and her parents kept it from her, and the realization that she could end up with it too. It sounded like it would be a great, emotional, and deep read. Unfortunately it ended up pretty flat for me.
I had a really hard time with the main character. I wanted to empathize with her, and to some extent I did, but I never felt any depth to her character. I felt like I was told she was scared, that she was struggling, that she was alone, instead of being shown through her actions. Her fear seemed more based around whether her boyfriend would still love her if she 'turned out crazy' than actually inheriting the disease. She did research about the illness when she learned her mother had it to find out her chances of getting it but apparently didn't do much research because she never mentioned anything about being concerned about the fact that she smoked quite a bit of pot and it's linked with the illness.
Another thing I couldn't get behind was the romance. Daniel, her boyfriend, was in no way perfect. Really, he was a typical seventeen year old boy, not wanting to think too much about the future, wanting to be supportive but having no idea how to be. And then there was Phil, the boy she met at the facility who she felt an instant connection with which she used as her excuse to hook up with him. Phil never felt like a real character, just a prop that was constantly used to show how inadequate Daniel was as a boyfriend. She did feel guilty at least but it still made it impossible for me to get behind either pairing.
The book was short, under 250 pages, but that didn't make it an easy read. The parts with Emma visiting her mother and seeing her so unlike the person she was used to were hard to read because they were so true. I also liked the responsibility Emma felt toward her mother, to visit her, wanting to take care of her, and having to face the reality that she was seventeen and in school and that there were people better equipped to help than her.
Read
November 30, 2014Longer review to come of this one, but it's not particularly memorable nor outstanding. Emma as a main character has so many outs in almost every tough situation that she never has to hit the brick wall. There's always a parachute of some kind waiting for her. She didn't really make me feel anything for her, good nor bad, as she's sort of a sanitized -- maybe even romanticized -- version of what a teen is.
This is a YA novel for adults, rather than a YA novel authentic to the teen voice and teen experience. Even the sex in this book is super sanitized, uncomplicated adult sex (if there's such a thing!) rather than messy, awkward, imperfect teen sex.
Not bad, but also not great.
This is a YA novel for adults, rather than a YA novel authentic to the teen voice and teen experience. Even the sex in this book is super sanitized, uncomplicated adult sex (if there's such a thing!) rather than messy, awkward, imperfect teen sex.
Not bad, but also not great.
April 30, 2015
The title of The Law of Loving Others is a quote taken from Anna Karenina by Tolstoy, “But the law of loving others could not be discovered by reason, because it is unreasonable.” It’s a lovely quote and an apt title for a book that discusses the relationships we have with different people; how we behave in our closest relationships and how the problems our friends and families deal with are the mirror we put up to ourselves, the way we assess our own lives. And so it is with Emma and how she deals with her mother’s breakdown over one winter break from school.
There seem to be a ton of YA books dealing with depression and mental illness that I’ve read lately (All The Bright Places is one example, good in every way) but this book is definitely at the older end of the YA spectrum. It was refreshing to read a frank account of how this teenager deals with something she has no idea how to cope with… the drugs, the fooling around with boys, the self-harming… it’s heavy stuff, but frank, and a bit more representative of some eighteen-year-olds and not quite so evasive about major issues.
That said, I found the language a little off at times and sometimes the book cuts off at interesting points and at other points it seems to go into too much detail about things I don’t need to know. It can be a little plodding… then he went there, then we got out of the car, etc. and could use a little better pacing and editing. I would rate this 3 stars from a novelist at the beginning of her writing career because I liked it. Not highly recommended but I might check out the author’s next work to give it a shot.
This is taken from my blog www.ellenallen.co
There seem to be a ton of YA books dealing with depression and mental illness that I’ve read lately (All The Bright Places is one example, good in every way) but this book is definitely at the older end of the YA spectrum. It was refreshing to read a frank account of how this teenager deals with something she has no idea how to cope with… the drugs, the fooling around with boys, the self-harming… it’s heavy stuff, but frank, and a bit more representative of some eighteen-year-olds and not quite so evasive about major issues.
That said, I found the language a little off at times and sometimes the book cuts off at interesting points and at other points it seems to go into too much detail about things I don’t need to know. It can be a little plodding… then he went there, then we got out of the car, etc. and could use a little better pacing and editing. I would rate this 3 stars from a novelist at the beginning of her writing career because I liked it. Not highly recommended but I might check out the author’s next work to give it a shot.
This is taken from my blog www.ellenallen.co
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 3, 2016
This book is about a girl named Emma who went home from boarding school for Christmas break and found out that her mother had schizophrenia. Her mom was going through a very bad out break and was admitted into the Psych ward of a hospital. Emma, her dad, her mom, and her boyfriend Daniel are trying to figure it out day by day. At first when I started reading, the book was slow. It picked up a little bit then went back down. As of right now, I am bored with the book. I dread picking it up and am always ready to read. If I were to recommend this book to someone else, I would recommend it to someone who likes romance books and someone who wants to learn a little bit more about schizophrenia. I think I would have been able to continue this book if I would have picked it up to learn about schizophrenia and how to deal with it.
January 7, 2016
This book was interesting and well written and I would have enjoyed it if not for the flippant and unnecessary drug use, profanity, and dirty scenes. Honestly, why do authors condone things like that in their writing?! Also, absolutely nothing was resolved in the end which was really unsatisfying and annoying.
November 22, 2015
It was a bit slow throughout and I feel like Emma was a very irritating character because she might be facing many troubles, ok i get it, but still she just sobs to everyone and never tries to think outside her very narrow mind. cliche ending where everything gets better after she opens up to her parents. meh was ok
February 9, 2015
This may be the first teen read I've ever read (and I've read A LOT) in which the adult characters are more interesting + empathetic than the figures. Kind of a shame (premise has potential) given the target audience.
February 18, 2016
The story itself was good but it wasn't one of my favorites. The main character, Emma, really got on my nerves at times. I feel like some of her reactions to her situation didn't seem realistic. It was an okay read for the most part.
February 24, 2018
DNF - 62 pages - 25%.
Dollar Tree find. Synopsis made it sound a hell of a lot more interesting than it was.
Just boring.
Didn't like any of the characters, and didn't care to find out what would happen.
Dollar Tree find. Synopsis made it sound a hell of a lot more interesting than it was.
Just boring.
Didn't like any of the characters, and didn't care to find out what would happen.
November 3, 2016
5/5 stars. im so glad i randomly decided to start this book last night. review to come
April 11, 2018
Warning: This review contains several spoilers, continue at your own discretion.
I was first introduced to this book when my mother bought it for me as a present at Dollar Tree, because she thought that I'd enjoy the book and she urged me to read it. It did sit on my nightstand for a few weeks without being touched, until I noticed it lying around again and I decided to pick it up and start reading it. I didn't expect it to be my cup of tea, as I'm not really on board with the whole young adult fiction, romance novel thing, but, let me tell you, when I finally put down the book it was nothing like what I had initially expected.
The novel centers around the seventeen-year-old protagonist, Emma, who, after coming home from boarding school for winter break, witnesses her mother suffer from a psychotic break, and Emma discovers for the first time in her life that her mother suffers from schizophrenia, and that she had been suffering for years before her birth but Emma didn't know until now. The main plot of the novel is supposedly the protagonist fretting over the news of her mother's condition and struggling as her mother is temporarily sent to stay at a mental hospital.
Before reading the book, I thought such a plot would be intriguing, and because of this I did gave the book a chance. However, the overall plot is weighed down with many other unnecessary threads and unnecessary themes, and I had several issues with this book, that I am getting ready to discuss. By the time I finished it, I was so relieved that it was over, and proud of myself for finishing the entire thing.
Overall, I was severely disappointed with the overall execution of the story, some of the unfortunate and to be honest rather inappropriate themes of the story, and the flat and unlikeable characters. Even though the story is supposed to be about a daughter experiencing the affects of her mother's mental illness for the first time in her life, the protagonist seems to spend just about as much time or more pining over boys and stessing about romantic relationships than being concerned about her mother, and the state of her mother.
Emma constantly worries about her relationship with her boyfriend, Daniel, whom she seems to have a poor relationship with and doesn't really seem to get along with him well. Daniel is portrayed as a carefree, daring young man who also seems to be a bit on the immature side, just like just about every other young adolescent character in the novel. He isn't very understanding of Emma's situation with her mother, and he angers Emma several times throughout the novel, sometimes for understandable reasons, such as, for example, trying to convince her go to a party when she didn't feel like going, and not really seeming to care about her and her mother's situation, but for other times very silly juvenile reasons, such as, one instance Emma gets mad at her boyfriend because he disagrees with Emma's position that white men shouldn't be allowed to wear dreadlocks. and another time for going to a movie with his friend.
The book portrays Daniel as being a jerk, and while I agree that Daniel was very narcissistic and immature, just about every teenage character in the novel behaves in a similar to the way he does, so he really isn't any worse than the other adolescents in the novel. Emma feels jealous of Daniel's connection with his family, which seems rather forced to me at least since his parents don't seem like very responsible or caring parents, as they frequently permit their seventeen-year old son to drink with his girlfriend, and smoke marijuana, and have sexual relations with his girlfriend of four months. In real life, I would assume that such parents would be neglectful and don't care much for the wellbeing of their children, but in the novel his parents are portrayed as the most caring parents in the world, which to me seems like a tad bit of a contradiction.
Since Emma really doesn't seem to get along with Daniel and thinks he's a jerk, one might ask why doesn't she break up with him? Well, I'll tell you why dear reader. That would require strength, intelligence, and confidence three things that the protagonist unfortunately lacks. Emma is every bit as awful as Daniel is, yet somehow because she has a stressful situation with her mother and she's the protagonist she gets away with just about everything that Daniel doesn't get away with. In fact, Emma gets away with a lot of things in the novel and her poor choices never have any real consequences.
For starters, Emma is seventeen years old, and frequently drinks and experiments with drugs, has casual sex, and frequently profanes, as does just about every teenager in this novel, which isn't really a good example to set for young people, and she never experiences any real ramifications for actions. The worst thing that happens to her is that her boyfriend Daniel, who is already portrayed as an insensitive jerk anyway, breaks up with her because he eventually finds out that on New Years Eve she got heavily intoxicated and had sex with her friend, which I don't really see as an adequate punishment for the protagonist, as their relationship seemed rather unstable to begin with and Daniel isn't mature enough to handle a serious romantic relationship properly.
Emma's friend with benefits, Phil, is a young man whom she meets while she is hanging out at her best friends house, and later meets again when visiting her mother at the hospital and discovers that he has a twin brother who suffers from mental illness and because of this Emma feels a connection with Phil that she doesn't feel with Daniel, and for some reason, Phil is portrayed as a much better person than Daniel could ever be, and he's frequently described as "wise" and "mature." While this kid may have more experience with dealing with family members that have mental illness, I'd contend that he's just as foolish and immature as Daniel, because he engages in exactly the same debauchery as the rest of the young people in this novel, and he uses Emma for sex, and knows that she has a boyfriend and simply doesn't care, which doesn't seem like a good friend to me. Phil to me just seems like the typical, stupid, immature teenager, and really is no better than Daniel.
The love triangle is what takes up around half of the novel, and it seems like the whole situation with Emma's mother is a mere afterthought, even though it's supposed to be the focus of the novel. Emma is more focused on boys than her mother, and Emma in general uses her mother's situation as an excuse to engage in many foolish behaviors and poor choices.
Emma's mother throughout the novel does slowly recover, and part of me wishes the novel was more about the mother than Emma, as she is infinitely more likable , and is much more engaging and developed than Emma, which is, rather unfortunate since Emma is the protagonist and her mother is simply a supporting character with a fraction of the novel devoted to her. In fact, just about almost every adult in the novel is more likable than their adolescent counterparts, which is saying something since they are all mere background characters . Emma, Daniel, Phil, and all of the adolescent characters in the novel are flatter than a cardboard cutout and make the tiny, little kiddie pool in my neighbor's backyard look as just deep as the Pacific Ocean.
Overall, I did not enjoy this novel one bit, and just finishing it felt like an big accomplishment to me, even though it was around 250 pages and I finished it in three days. It is such an easy read, yet such a hard read. Unfortunately, I don't feel that I can recommend this book to others, with all the gratuitious profanity, heavy drinking, drug usage, casual sex, over all poor choices made by the characters in this novel, the romantic plot tumor that seems to just overtake the story, and the flat, unlikeable characters. I can't think of a single redeeming quality about this book. It is a difficult read, and I simply cannot recommend this book.
I was first introduced to this book when my mother bought it for me as a present at Dollar Tree, because she thought that I'd enjoy the book and she urged me to read it. It did sit on my nightstand for a few weeks without being touched, until I noticed it lying around again and I decided to pick it up and start reading it. I didn't expect it to be my cup of tea, as I'm not really on board with the whole young adult fiction, romance novel thing, but, let me tell you, when I finally put down the book it was nothing like what I had initially expected.
The novel centers around the seventeen-year-old protagonist, Emma, who, after coming home from boarding school for winter break, witnesses her mother suffer from a psychotic break, and Emma discovers for the first time in her life that her mother suffers from schizophrenia, and that she had been suffering for years before her birth but Emma didn't know until now. The main plot of the novel is supposedly the protagonist fretting over the news of her mother's condition and struggling as her mother is temporarily sent to stay at a mental hospital.
Before reading the book, I thought such a plot would be intriguing, and because of this I did gave the book a chance. However, the overall plot is weighed down with many other unnecessary threads and unnecessary themes, and I had several issues with this book, that I am getting ready to discuss. By the time I finished it, I was so relieved that it was over, and proud of myself for finishing the entire thing.
Overall, I was severely disappointed with the overall execution of the story, some of the unfortunate and to be honest rather inappropriate themes of the story, and the flat and unlikeable characters. Even though the story is supposed to be about a daughter experiencing the affects of her mother's mental illness for the first time in her life, the protagonist seems to spend just about as much time or more pining over boys and stessing about romantic relationships than being concerned about her mother, and the state of her mother.
Emma constantly worries about her relationship with her boyfriend, Daniel, whom she seems to have a poor relationship with and doesn't really seem to get along with him well. Daniel is portrayed as a carefree, daring young man who also seems to be a bit on the immature side, just like just about every other young adolescent character in the novel. He isn't very understanding of Emma's situation with her mother, and he angers Emma several times throughout the novel, sometimes for understandable reasons, such as, for example, trying to convince her go to a party when she didn't feel like going, and not really seeming to care about her and her mother's situation, but for other times very silly juvenile reasons, such as, one instance Emma gets mad at her boyfriend because he disagrees with Emma's position that white men shouldn't be allowed to wear dreadlocks. and another time for going to a movie with his friend.
The book portrays Daniel as being a jerk, and while I agree that Daniel was very narcissistic and immature, just about every teenage character in the novel behaves in a similar to the way he does, so he really isn't any worse than the other adolescents in the novel. Emma feels jealous of Daniel's connection with his family, which seems rather forced to me at least since his parents don't seem like very responsible or caring parents, as they frequently permit their seventeen-year old son to drink with his girlfriend, and smoke marijuana, and have sexual relations with his girlfriend of four months. In real life, I would assume that such parents would be neglectful and don't care much for the wellbeing of their children, but in the novel his parents are portrayed as the most caring parents in the world, which to me seems like a tad bit of a contradiction.
Since Emma really doesn't seem to get along with Daniel and thinks he's a jerk, one might ask why doesn't she break up with him? Well, I'll tell you why dear reader. That would require strength, intelligence, and confidence three things that the protagonist unfortunately lacks. Emma is every bit as awful as Daniel is, yet somehow because she has a stressful situation with her mother and she's the protagonist she gets away with just about everything that Daniel doesn't get away with. In fact, Emma gets away with a lot of things in the novel and her poor choices never have any real consequences.
For starters, Emma is seventeen years old, and frequently drinks and experiments with drugs, has casual sex, and frequently profanes, as does just about every teenager in this novel, which isn't really a good example to set for young people, and she never experiences any real ramifications for actions. The worst thing that happens to her is that her boyfriend Daniel, who is already portrayed as an insensitive jerk anyway, breaks up with her because he eventually finds out that on New Years Eve she got heavily intoxicated and had sex with her friend, which I don't really see as an adequate punishment for the protagonist, as their relationship seemed rather unstable to begin with and Daniel isn't mature enough to handle a serious romantic relationship properly.
Emma's friend with benefits, Phil, is a young man whom she meets while she is hanging out at her best friends house, and later meets again when visiting her mother at the hospital and discovers that he has a twin brother who suffers from mental illness and because of this Emma feels a connection with Phil that she doesn't feel with Daniel, and for some reason, Phil is portrayed as a much better person than Daniel could ever be, and he's frequently described as "wise" and "mature." While this kid may have more experience with dealing with family members that have mental illness, I'd contend that he's just as foolish and immature as Daniel, because he engages in exactly the same debauchery as the rest of the young people in this novel, and he uses Emma for sex, and knows that she has a boyfriend and simply doesn't care, which doesn't seem like a good friend to me. Phil to me just seems like the typical, stupid, immature teenager, and really is no better than Daniel.
The love triangle is what takes up around half of the novel, and it seems like the whole situation with Emma's mother is a mere afterthought, even though it's supposed to be the focus of the novel. Emma is more focused on boys than her mother, and Emma in general uses her mother's situation as an excuse to engage in many foolish behaviors and poor choices.
Emma's mother throughout the novel does slowly recover, and part of me wishes the novel was more about the mother than Emma, as she is infinitely more likable , and is much more engaging and developed than Emma, which is, rather unfortunate since Emma is the protagonist and her mother is simply a supporting character with a fraction of the novel devoted to her. In fact, just about almost every adult in the novel is more likable than their adolescent counterparts, which is saying something since they are all mere background characters . Emma, Daniel, Phil, and all of the adolescent characters in the novel are flatter than a cardboard cutout and make the tiny, little kiddie pool in my neighbor's backyard look as just deep as the Pacific Ocean.
Overall, I did not enjoy this novel one bit, and just finishing it felt like an big accomplishment to me, even though it was around 250 pages and I finished it in three days. It is such an easy read, yet such a hard read. Unfortunately, I don't feel that I can recommend this book to others, with all the gratuitious profanity, heavy drinking, drug usage, casual sex, over all poor choices made by the characters in this novel, the romantic plot tumor that seems to just overtake the story, and the flat, unlikeable characters. I can't think of a single redeeming quality about this book. It is a difficult read, and I simply cannot recommend this book.
December 18, 2024
Apparently the author wrote and fully intended to sell this as an adult novel (about a college student), which doesn't make me feel any better about the fact that this high school junior is constantly getting drunk/having sex/smoking pot/giving herself 2nd degree burns with a lighter, but does explain why the book is so mediocre.
It's only getting a second star because there is some really evocative writing. Unfortunately, she not only did not use that power for good, she wrote such repellent characters that I can't even say I think she has the potential to release something better. Never in my life have I been less sad about an author debuting to crickets and not getting to publish again for almost a decade.
It's only getting a second star because there is some really evocative writing. Unfortunately, she not only did not use that power for good, she wrote such repellent characters that I can't even say I think she has the potential to release something better. Never in my life have I been less sad about an author debuting to crickets and not getting to publish again for almost a decade.
January 14, 2020
I bought this book at the dollar tree. I didn't quite expect this book to interest me the way that it did. It wasn't a page turner but it wasn't a book I could quite put down. True to life story, it was a simple read and you were able to really see wear the main character Emma, mind was at.
March 25, 2015
Teen/YA Review: The Law of Loving Others I recently listened to the audio book The Law of Loving Others by Kate Axelrod and enjoyed this emotionally charged, realistic novel about a teen girl dealing with her mother’s diagnosis of schizophrenia.
Emma is in her junior year at a boarding school in Pennsylvania, heading home to the metro NY area for winter break with her boyfriend, Daniel. Emma doesn’t have a lot of close friends at school, but she and Daniel connected at the end of September and have been inseparable ever since. Emma is looking forward to a fun break split between time with her parents, time with her best friend, Annie, and trips to visit Daniel in Manhattan.
When Emma arrives home that day, though, something strange is going on. Her mother is acting oddly, first thinking that someone somehow snuck into her closet and swapped out all her clothes and later, that damaging rays are bombarding the house. Emma is freaked out because her mother has always been a calm, rational force in her life, always there for Emma. She tries to talk to Daniel, Annie and her father, but they just reassure her everything will be fine.
Within days, her mother has been taken to the hospital, and Emma learns a startling secret: that her mother has had schizophrenia since she was a young woman (normally controlled by medications) and that she is now suffering a schizophrenic break. Suddenly, Emma’s whole world feels like it is spinning out of control. Not only is her mother very sick, but this is the first she’s heard of her diagnosis – or even that there was a problem at all. Is her whole childhood a lie?
The rest of the novel is focused on Emma’s response to this crisis and her attempts to try to make sense of it all. She worries that Daniel won’t understand, that he won’t be there for her. She worries about how much to tell other people. And, she worries about the cute boy she meets at the mental hospital, a young man named Phil whom she vaguely knows from Annie’s brother. Phil is in the hospital visiting his twin brother, and he seems to be the only person in the world who truly understands what Emma is going through. She is also worried that she might develop schizophrenia herself, once she finds out there is a genetic component to the illness.
Coincidentally, this is one of several teen/YA audio books I have listened to in the last few months dealing with mental illness, and they have all been very moving and educational for me. In this case, Emma doesn’t always make good choices or select healthy coping mechanisms, but I thought it was a very realistic portrayal of how a teen girl might respond in such an unthinkable situation. The Law of Loving Others is an emotionally powerful novel about a teen trying to cope with a life-changing situation.
Listening Library
NOTE: This novel is best for older teens or young adults, as it includes plenty of drinking, drug use, sex, and adult language.
Other teen/YA novels dealing with mental illness:
Revolution by Jennifer Donnelly
I Was Here by Gayle Forman
Falling Into Place by Amy Zhang
Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock by Matthew Quick
Emma is in her junior year at a boarding school in Pennsylvania, heading home to the metro NY area for winter break with her boyfriend, Daniel. Emma doesn’t have a lot of close friends at school, but she and Daniel connected at the end of September and have been inseparable ever since. Emma is looking forward to a fun break split between time with her parents, time with her best friend, Annie, and trips to visit Daniel in Manhattan.
When Emma arrives home that day, though, something strange is going on. Her mother is acting oddly, first thinking that someone somehow snuck into her closet and swapped out all her clothes and later, that damaging rays are bombarding the house. Emma is freaked out because her mother has always been a calm, rational force in her life, always there for Emma. She tries to talk to Daniel, Annie and her father, but they just reassure her everything will be fine.
Within days, her mother has been taken to the hospital, and Emma learns a startling secret: that her mother has had schizophrenia since she was a young woman (normally controlled by medications) and that she is now suffering a schizophrenic break. Suddenly, Emma’s whole world feels like it is spinning out of control. Not only is her mother very sick, but this is the first she’s heard of her diagnosis – or even that there was a problem at all. Is her whole childhood a lie?
The rest of the novel is focused on Emma’s response to this crisis and her attempts to try to make sense of it all. She worries that Daniel won’t understand, that he won’t be there for her. She worries about how much to tell other people. And, she worries about the cute boy she meets at the mental hospital, a young man named Phil whom she vaguely knows from Annie’s brother. Phil is in the hospital visiting his twin brother, and he seems to be the only person in the world who truly understands what Emma is going through. She is also worried that she might develop schizophrenia herself, once she finds out there is a genetic component to the illness.
Coincidentally, this is one of several teen/YA audio books I have listened to in the last few months dealing with mental illness, and they have all been very moving and educational for me. In this case, Emma doesn’t always make good choices or select healthy coping mechanisms, but I thought it was a very realistic portrayal of how a teen girl might respond in such an unthinkable situation. The Law of Loving Others is an emotionally powerful novel about a teen trying to cope with a life-changing situation.
Listening Library
NOTE: This novel is best for older teens or young adults, as it includes plenty of drinking, drug use, sex, and adult language.
Other teen/YA novels dealing with mental illness:
Revolution by Jennifer Donnelly
I Was Here by Gayle Forman
Falling Into Place by Amy Zhang
Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock by Matthew Quick
did-not-finish
August 23, 2016First off , the writing is phenomenal.
It's this totally understated , yet elegant way of describing grief and life . I adore it completely and I can't believe how emotive it is.
I constantly found myself thinking , " Yeah , I have felt EXACTLY like that before."
This is a great portrayal of the emotional upheaval that takes place when the parent you rely on is going through an illness and you are suddenly unmoored and alone.
I wish wish wish I could recommend this book , because the author knows how to write and can sort of touch your heart with just a sparse , punchy sentence.
But its just too casual about sex and drugs and I find myself unable to continue reading about the main character's sexual escapades , never mind the fact that she's cheating on her boyfriend.
It doesn't make her more sympathetic just because he's pretty lousy.
Really , he still deserves a formal breakup no matter his careless , arrogant demeanor.
I find alot of times in YA novels , if the character is going through a rough time and they cheat its sort of brushed under the rug as something they did out of severe emotional pain.
It's easy to say , well her mom is so sick and nobody cares and why shouldn't we understand that it was A MOMENT OF WEAKNESS and it was just CIRCUMSTANCE or SHE WAS JUST DRUNK.
These statements , albeit convincing , are untrue because I think tough times bring out who you are really , deep down , and you can't validate wrongdoing just because you are suffering.
Lots of people suffer , and though I sympathize with this heroine completely about being angry that people should tell her to " act normal" when her mother is suddenly mentally ill , I don't sympathize with her totally unfeeling treatment of the boy she has been dating for four months.
Why not just break up with him?
She constantly thinks that their relationship is bound to end because its unhealthy and not emotionally lasting , yet she just loves him SO MUCH , anyway.
Honestly , I've never read a character like Emma , who has so much and so little clarity of thought at the same time.
Sometimes I just skip icky scenes , but this is maybe one line and also terribly graphic. So I'm bowing out and wishing this whole experience had turned out differently because like I previously mentioned , Kate Axelrod was born to be a writer , and when she hones in on what she wants to express , she's stunning in her craft.
It's this totally understated , yet elegant way of describing grief and life . I adore it completely and I can't believe how emotive it is.
I constantly found myself thinking , " Yeah , I have felt EXACTLY like that before."
This is a great portrayal of the emotional upheaval that takes place when the parent you rely on is going through an illness and you are suddenly unmoored and alone.
I wish wish wish I could recommend this book , because the author knows how to write and can sort of touch your heart with just a sparse , punchy sentence.
But its just too casual about sex and drugs and I find myself unable to continue reading about the main character's sexual escapades , never mind the fact that she's cheating on her boyfriend.
It doesn't make her more sympathetic just because he's pretty lousy.
Really , he still deserves a formal breakup no matter his careless , arrogant demeanor.
I find alot of times in YA novels , if the character is going through a rough time and they cheat its sort of brushed under the rug as something they did out of severe emotional pain.
It's easy to say , well her mom is so sick and nobody cares and why shouldn't we understand that it was A MOMENT OF WEAKNESS and it was just CIRCUMSTANCE or SHE WAS JUST DRUNK.
These statements , albeit convincing , are untrue because I think tough times bring out who you are really , deep down , and you can't validate wrongdoing just because you are suffering.
Lots of people suffer , and though I sympathize with this heroine completely about being angry that people should tell her to " act normal" when her mother is suddenly mentally ill , I don't sympathize with her totally unfeeling treatment of the boy she has been dating for four months.
Why not just break up with him?
She constantly thinks that their relationship is bound to end because its unhealthy and not emotionally lasting , yet she just loves him SO MUCH , anyway.
Honestly , I've never read a character like Emma , who has so much and so little clarity of thought at the same time.
Sometimes I just skip icky scenes , but this is maybe one line and also terribly graphic. So I'm bowing out and wishing this whole experience had turned out differently because like I previously mentioned , Kate Axelrod was born to be a writer , and when she hones in on what she wants to express , she's stunning in her craft.
September 29, 2016
I gave this book 4 starts. Although it was very good it was definitely not the very best book I have ever read. At times it becomes boring but the characters are relatable and at times you feel like you are right there in the scene experiencing everything.
The book is uneventful at times and it kind of takes away from the need to read more. However, it does make the book seem so much more real. Sometimes Emma will be making dinner or hanging out at home and it disrupts the momentum of the book. Also her relationship with her boyfriend, Daniel is repetitive. He doesn't understand what shes going through and she doesn't get why his life is carrying on and he doesn't want to pause and just be there for her. It happens over and over again but you can always expect that they will forget what they were fighting about and make up.
The characters are so relatable. Everyone has that one sassy best friend who will drop everything and make herself available for you, just like Annie does that for Emma. Emma's father is just plain useless at times, which is understandable considering the stress he is under, but there were so many times that Emma just needed someone to tell her everything was going to be okay. Her dad was never that person. I think we have all had times like that and our dads don't always make the cut.
I found myself inside the book many times. I was able to be there when Emma was burning herself with that lighter and I felt like I should've stopped her. When she was with the boy from the hospital I couldn't stop wanting to tell her to go for it. I wanted to say "Forget about Daniel and allow yourself to fall in love again". Reality finally brought me back and it was a sad experience.
This book was great but not 5 stars great. I have read better, more exciting books but it was definitely worth sticking with. I recommend reading it even though it can be drab at times because its nice to have a book with relatable characters. Being able to escape your world and jump into someone else's is great too.
The book is uneventful at times and it kind of takes away from the need to read more. However, it does make the book seem so much more real. Sometimes Emma will be making dinner or hanging out at home and it disrupts the momentum of the book. Also her relationship with her boyfriend, Daniel is repetitive. He doesn't understand what shes going through and she doesn't get why his life is carrying on and he doesn't want to pause and just be there for her. It happens over and over again but you can always expect that they will forget what they were fighting about and make up.
The characters are so relatable. Everyone has that one sassy best friend who will drop everything and make herself available for you, just like Annie does that for Emma. Emma's father is just plain useless at times, which is understandable considering the stress he is under, but there were so many times that Emma just needed someone to tell her everything was going to be okay. Her dad was never that person. I think we have all had times like that and our dads don't always make the cut.
I found myself inside the book many times. I was able to be there when Emma was burning herself with that lighter and I felt like I should've stopped her. When she was with the boy from the hospital I couldn't stop wanting to tell her to go for it. I wanted to say "Forget about Daniel and allow yourself to fall in love again". Reality finally brought me back and it was a sad experience.
This book was great but not 5 stars great. I have read better, more exciting books but it was definitely worth sticking with. I recommend reading it even though it can be drab at times because its nice to have a book with relatable characters. Being able to escape your world and jump into someone else's is great too.
April 29, 2015
Kate's a colleague and friend so my review is most heavily biased. I kid. I'm going to be brutally honest:
Right after my copy arrived, my mother prematurely passed away. A few weeks later when some of the fog had lifted and reading a book seemed an appropriate distraction, I finally delved into it and I admit, I did so very slowly, perhaps caustiously.
And I did so because if you don't know, this story revolves around the loss of a mother, someone you've known (or at least someone you think you've known) and loved all your life, to schizophrenia...a break from reality and personality with all the nuances and complexities that revolve around that trauma. It's also a story about negotiating what love is and who really matters in your life, during and beyond sad instances as such. in other words, shitstorms really work to put shit into perspective even if it doesn't seem as such at the time.
You would never realize that this story is told from the perspective of a seventeen-year-old...the protagonist is wise and dubiously insightful beyond her years. The confusion, angst, nonsense, and everything that comes with growing up and loss and grief and relationships and sex and drugs remain true to almost any life-stage experience. Everyone grows and mourns differently, sure. But this story very well depicts the human base we oft like to think we are well above and beyond. At the end of the day, we're all this little kid with mucus streaming down our face, one sock missing, hair afright, asking to be held by your mom.
Beyond that sight, Kate leverages some lofty allusions to tragic love stories of yore (Anna Karenina) and does so with a poise and artistry that enables you to appreciate the magic of literature, even during a crisis such as losing your mother. And that was just in the book, much less my own life.
So in many ways, Kate wins.
Right after my copy arrived, my mother prematurely passed away. A few weeks later when some of the fog had lifted and reading a book seemed an appropriate distraction, I finally delved into it and I admit, I did so very slowly, perhaps caustiously.
And I did so because if you don't know, this story revolves around the loss of a mother, someone you've known (or at least someone you think you've known) and loved all your life, to schizophrenia...a break from reality and personality with all the nuances and complexities that revolve around that trauma. It's also a story about negotiating what love is and who really matters in your life, during and beyond sad instances as such. in other words, shitstorms really work to put shit into perspective even if it doesn't seem as such at the time.
You would never realize that this story is told from the perspective of a seventeen-year-old...the protagonist is wise and dubiously insightful beyond her years. The confusion, angst, nonsense, and everything that comes with growing up and loss and grief and relationships and sex and drugs remain true to almost any life-stage experience. Everyone grows and mourns differently, sure. But this story very well depicts the human base we oft like to think we are well above and beyond. At the end of the day, we're all this little kid with mucus streaming down our face, one sock missing, hair afright, asking to be held by your mom.
Beyond that sight, Kate leverages some lofty allusions to tragic love stories of yore (Anna Karenina) and does so with a poise and artistry that enables you to appreciate the magic of literature, even during a crisis such as losing your mother. And that was just in the book, much less my own life.
So in many ways, Kate wins.
January 29, 2015
Emma feels left in the dark about her mother’s illness. Her mother has been diagnosed with schizophrenia for years and it’s just now, when Emma is home for break from boarding school that 17 year-old Emma is hearing these words for the first time. Was it fair to keep this information from Emma if her mother’s illness was properly medicated? I had to applaud the husband for loving his wife and seeing her for who she was and not seeing just an illness or a burden. Emma’s reaction to the news is devastating. She becomes this other person. She begins to mourn the life of the mother she used to have even though her mother is still alive and this is the first time that Emma has ever seen a setback in her mother’s health. Emma’s also starts to treat her boyfriend terribly. Using her boyfriend as a crutch, she sets high expectations but she herself is a yo-yo with her emotions and behavior. I was appalled and found myself yelling at her, I sure was glad she was fictional character. Emma is consumed by this diagnose, it’s was amazing that this novel is consumed by this single notion of Emma’s and it carried the dram and its implications so well. Emma does find some relief in her pain as she lifts the corner of her pants and eases the flame towards her ankle. The metal wheel that exposed the flame provided the relief from the hurting, at least for the time being. She knows the plastic lighters will always be there for when the pain became too much.
May 28, 2015
I liked that the novel told the story of a family with real-world problems. Mental illness, especially involving a child, is rarely spoken of in novels, especially in YAL. I like that the genre is speaking more about this topic. As a child of a parent with a mental illness, I could have used a book like this when I was a teenager. I felt for Emma while she is left alone during her break away from school, during the time that her mother is hospitalized for schizophrenia, or rather a schizophrenic episode. I felt disappointed with her parents for not being open with her earlier about her mother's diagnosis; although, it may have been thought as protecting her mother's reputation, protecting Emma herself, or thinking idealistically that the trouble had past for the family. Despite her loneliness, the time to herself gives Emma time to reflect on her relationship with her mother, establishing that they have a trusting, stable relationship. I liked Phil's character as being open and caring, though he is going through a similar situation, but seems to be the more experienced with hospitalizations. Emma's ex-boyfriend, Daniel, was a major problem for me, as he is not sympathetic nor caring, but he seemed like a slacker in life in general. The book did leave off on a point of possibility, which I hope is continued on through a sequel.
September 17, 2015
Audiobook rating: 4 stars
Book rating: 3.5 stars
Initial thoughts: Emma spiralled so much out of control that it became an excuse for her to treat people she loved extremely unfairly. In fact, in some cases, she was so out of line, her actions were inexcusable. She knew what she was doing was wrong and yet she continued. At the same time, she was seizing every opportunity she could to self-destruct — physically, mentally and emotionally. Given her anxiety and worries about her mother as well as her own mental health, I almost understood her. Partly that understanding stems from my own experiences, which in some ways also made me uncomfortable. Emma was a complex character who on the surface seemed very self-absorbed as she tried to hide her inner turmoil.
The Law of Loving Others is probably one of those books that many would find difficult to connect with because of all the flaws. The characters are raw, the plot is bleak and overall, there's so little happiness to be found. For me, this is precisely why I appreciated this book. It was was real and messy and the MC so torn apart, it reminded me that other people have their own struggles too.
Book rating: 3.5 stars
Initial thoughts: Emma spiralled so much out of control that it became an excuse for her to treat people she loved extremely unfairly. In fact, in some cases, she was so out of line, her actions were inexcusable. She knew what she was doing was wrong and yet she continued. At the same time, she was seizing every opportunity she could to self-destruct — physically, mentally and emotionally. Given her anxiety and worries about her mother as well as her own mental health, I almost understood her. Partly that understanding stems from my own experiences, which in some ways also made me uncomfortable. Emma was a complex character who on the surface seemed very self-absorbed as she tried to hide her inner turmoil.
The Law of Loving Others is probably one of those books that many would find difficult to connect with because of all the flaws. The characters are raw, the plot is bleak and overall, there's so little happiness to be found. For me, this is precisely why I appreciated this book. It was was real and messy and the MC so torn apart, it reminded me that other people have their own struggles too.
May 29, 2015
Love is an ever evolving emotion which can never be defined, explained or rationalized as Emma quickly discovers as she learns in the law of loving others. The complexities of being a teenager while dealing with adult decisions is the heart of this debut novel by Kate Axelrod.
This is not for the middle school audience and, at points found me blushing, with the details of Emma's emotional love roller coaster defined by the sexual intimacies of a current boyfriend and a boy she briefly meets at a rehab center for mental patients. Emma is raised with supportive parents who unconditionally love and adore her, so I found her loss of virginity at age 15 a bit abrupt. By age 17 she is no stranger to her body's needs as well as pleasing her multiple partners through various techniques she has mastered. Aside from the sexual encounters, Emma dabbles in self-mutilation throughout the book as well as using cocaine, marijuana and alcohol as both her social outlet and her coping mechanism throughout the novel.
This is not for the middle school audience and, at points found me blushing, with the details of Emma's emotional love roller coaster defined by the sexual intimacies of a current boyfriend and a boy she briefly meets at a rehab center for mental patients. Emma is raised with supportive parents who unconditionally love and adore her, so I found her loss of virginity at age 15 a bit abrupt. By age 17 she is no stranger to her body's needs as well as pleasing her multiple partners through various techniques she has mastered. Aside from the sexual encounters, Emma dabbles in self-mutilation throughout the book as well as using cocaine, marijuana and alcohol as both her social outlet and her coping mechanism throughout the novel.
June 24, 2015
Okay, there is no way I am finishing this book. I got to about 150 pages of the 250 pages, but I just don't even know if I can put up with enough to read it on the ride back home after work. This was such an interesting concept to me, and I've never dealt with someone suffering from schizophrenia full on, so I thought it would be great to read about and become more knowledgeable about. It was a great book until the lead character hooks up with a guy she met from the hospital and cheats on hey boyfriend. Yes, the boyfriend was meant to be shown as an a-hole, but her cheating made her seem weak and a lowly person instead of someone dealing with a major event in her life. At the hospital when the lead character and the guy she will cheat with, she is thinking about how "her breasts push up against the cotton of her shirt".
This is why we need STRONG female characters. Authors should be teaching good examples and being role models to impressionable girls. I'm very upset with this author and I will not read more of her work.
This is why we need STRONG female characters. Authors should be teaching good examples and being role models to impressionable girls. I'm very upset with this author and I will not read more of her work.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 9, 2016
Sometimes, it is our fear that drives us towards something we avoid. In this case, Emma grows paranoid and terrified that she would end up like her schizophrenic mother when the latter spirals out of control and ends up in a mental institution. Emma started to have doubts as to her parents' past and relationship, and wonders how they could have hidden her mother's slow breakdown all these years. And soon she fears - what if she loses her mother....what if she loses herself? This book beautifully depicts the effects that mental illnesses have not only on the patients, but their families as well. As Emma and Phil agreed, everyone gets narcissistic. It is interesting how Emma lets her fear drive her towards her own breakdown, and that she could easily overcome this paranoia by moving on and not latching herself to the illness.
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