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The Amazing Adventures of Dietgirl
In January 2001 Shauna Reid was twenty-three years old and twenty-five stone. Determined to turn her life around, she created the hugely successful weblog The Amazing Adventures of Dietgirl and, hiding behind her Lycra-clad roly-poly alter-ego, her transformation from couch potato to svelte goddess began. Today, 8,000 miles, seven years and twelve-and-a-half stone later, the gloriously gorgeous Shauna is literally half the woman she used to be.
In turn hysterically funny and heart-wrenchingly honest, The Amazing Adventures of Dietgirl follows the twists and turns of Shauna's lard-busting adventure as she curbs the calories and learns to love the gym. There are travel tales from Red Square to Reykjavik, plus romance and intrigue as she meets the man of her dreams during a pub quiz in Glasgow. As her UK visa rapidly runs out, will she be deported back to Australia or will love triumph?
Entertaining and action-packed, this is the uplifting true story of a young woman who defeated her demons and conquered her cravings to become a weight-loss superhero to inspire us all.
In turn hysterically funny and heart-wrenchingly honest, The Amazing Adventures of Dietgirl follows the twists and turns of Shauna's lard-busting adventure as she curbs the calories and learns to love the gym. There are travel tales from Red Square to Reykjavik, plus romance and intrigue as she meets the man of her dreams during a pub quiz in Glasgow. As her UK visa rapidly runs out, will she be deported back to Australia or will love triumph?
Entertaining and action-packed, this is the uplifting true story of a young woman who defeated her demons and conquered her cravings to become a weight-loss superhero to inspire us all.
400 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2008
117 people are currently reading
2649 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 293 reviews
April 21, 2020
This is a story of a weight-loss journey, from 2001 to 2007, of an Australian girl in her early 20s who gets tired of her excess weight (150 kg) and decides to lose it. Along the way she also improves her confidence, and finds love and adventure. There is a photo part in the middle of my book, and you can tell the differences clearly. Many of the entries (for this is in blog-form) also include current weight, weight lost, and weight to lose.
She went from 150 kg to 79,8 kg; at first with the help of Weight Watchers and SureSlim, but later finding the groove on her own, even with occasional relapses. A few times there's also depression periods, but they are mainly at the first part of her journey. She gets help from good people, including her sister Rhiannon, certain friends, and the at-first-sight real-love, Gareth, who she triple-marries in Las Vegas, Scotland, and Australia.
It's easy to see things that sparked the gain - parents' relationship troubles, a certain comment, and unhelpful help from mother - and easy to see all the mental and physical suffering she was in at the start (breathlessness, chafing, eating fast and in secret, avoiding public, excuses, crying, obsessive food-thinking, what-ifs, too-fat-for---, avoiding nakedness... - physical discomfort, food as comfort, shame, fear, worry). I can relate to some, some seem so strange even though I understand why it happens, I have my own struggles in weightloss and self-image too.
Although she does lose the weight, slowly, another part in all of this is getting free from the mental thinking she had, which is stuck on a lot longer. It was a *very* good idea to move to Scotland; not only she found love, but the change also helped her get where she wanted, including mentally. And the traveling was good for her too, though all the food sampling means that whatever is gained in weight must come off afterwards (I do feel she will strategise it better in the future). Her love of exercise develops quite quickly, so I cheered at that a lot, and by the end her thoughts on occasional treats are better.
It's easy to find her site out there today, and she has kept her weight off well. She still lives in Scotland with Gareth and a cat named Ziggy, and has been a work-from-home freelancer since c.2014.
The book was quite funny sometimes, sometimes sad and frustrating, but it's nice to read a success story and see a good example of how one can turn things around for the better, no matter how long it takes. This is a good inspiration book, and one might learn some tips from it. Better than I thought, and a quick read.
She went from 150 kg to 79,8 kg; at first with the help of Weight Watchers and SureSlim, but later finding the groove on her own, even with occasional relapses. A few times there's also depression periods, but they are mainly at the first part of her journey. She gets help from good people, including her sister Rhiannon, certain friends, and the at-first-sight real-love, Gareth, who she triple-marries in Las Vegas, Scotland, and Australia.
It's easy to see things that sparked the gain - parents' relationship troubles, a certain comment, and unhelpful help from mother - and easy to see all the mental and physical suffering she was in at the start (breathlessness, chafing, eating fast and in secret, avoiding public, excuses, crying, obsessive food-thinking, what-ifs, too-fat-for---, avoiding nakedness... - physical discomfort, food as comfort, shame, fear, worry). I can relate to some, some seem so strange even though I understand why it happens, I have my own struggles in weightloss and self-image too.
Although she does lose the weight, slowly, another part in all of this is getting free from the mental thinking she had, which is stuck on a lot longer. It was a *very* good idea to move to Scotland; not only she found love, but the change also helped her get where she wanted, including mentally. And the traveling was good for her too, though all the food sampling means that whatever is gained in weight must come off afterwards (I do feel she will strategise it better in the future). Her love of exercise develops quite quickly, so I cheered at that a lot, and by the end her thoughts on occasional treats are better.
It's easy to find her site out there today, and she has kept her weight off well. She still lives in Scotland with Gareth and a cat named Ziggy, and has been a work-from-home freelancer since c.2014.
The book was quite funny sometimes, sometimes sad and frustrating, but it's nice to read a success story and see a good example of how one can turn things around for the better, no matter how long it takes. This is a good inspiration book, and one might learn some tips from it. Better than I thought, and a quick read.
January 4, 2009
The plot of Shauna Reid's book sounds almost like a chick lit book...girl goes on weight loss plan looking for self-worth and conveniently finds a tender and caring Scottish man to sweep her off her feet who loves her just as she is. There are definitely aspects of Dietgirl that are Bridget Jones-esque, but knowing that it is a true story makes the book so much more meaningful. The book is laid out like a diary, with most entries including the date of the author's weight loss journey and her current weight that week. But what starts out as a book about weight loss becomes much more a story of how our past influences who we are, and ultimately, how we have to break free of the scars we bear from our childhood and take responsibility for our own happiness. A great thing about this book is that it is an honest account of weight loss...the author doesn't just start losing weight and keep going until she's a supermodel. She suffers setbacks along the way and is at times crippled by depression and self-doubt. But like the super heroine alter-ego that she assumes to write her popular blog, the author takes her kryptonite (in this case, chocolate) in stride and fights back, saving herself in the process.
April 1, 2009
While I certainly acknowledge what others have said, as far as Shauna only recognizing her potential and finding self-acceptance once she favoured the number on the scale, I still hold this as one of my favourite "fat girl loses a bunch of weight and gets happy" books. Her sense of humour is really quite comedic, and I particularly LOLed so hard at the part where she catches Gareth with his bum out the window, tooting due to the curried lentils she'd made for dinner earlier that evening. I'm not one for crude humour, but the description of that scene was too adorable not to bring a smile to my face. I appreciate how far Shauna has come and how she took her "diet" as a serious life journey, one that took seven years to accomplish, rather than "wham, bam, thank you, ma'am" like some diet books, where the chick loses 100+lbs in a year and we never hear the epilogue of whether she truly kept it off. At least with Shauna, there is http://www.dietgirl.org to show that she's still holding up as beautiful, inward and out.
August 6, 2012
Like many readers, I picked this book up in the hopes of getting some inspiration from Shauna's story. It's hard not to be inspired by someone who lost so much weight the hard, old-fashioned way through diet and exercise. Shauna spent years and years, not weeks and months, to lose her weight, which feels more real than what we so often see in the media. In this blog turned book, Shauna chronicles more about the head space she was in over the course of five or six years. Yes, she learned to eat healthy. Yes, she started to learn to exercise and love it. However, the biggest factor always seems to be how she handled it when things went wrong.
This journey was not a fast one for Shauna, which I could appreciate. It seems like too many people yo-yo up and down with their weight at insane speeds. Realistically, it was nice to see what one person did, in a reasonable fashion, to lose a large amount of weight. In fact, I mostly appreciated that her life went on and she lived it! It can seem too unreasonable to expect someone to just stop their life to focus solely on weight (I guess that is unless you're on a TV show or something), so I thought the directions her life took--moving to the UK--was an interesting reality to her story.
On the whole, this is an inspiring book if you want a realistic look at the ups and downs of one person's weight loss journey. There isn't necessarily a lot about how she did it, outside of the common sense "eat less and exercise" mantra, but it does give you a lot about her mindset and how it changed over time. Overall, this was a much more entertaining read than a mere self help book. This is one of those books that anyone could read to appreciate.
This journey was not a fast one for Shauna, which I could appreciate. It seems like too many people yo-yo up and down with their weight at insane speeds. Realistically, it was nice to see what one person did, in a reasonable fashion, to lose a large amount of weight. In fact, I mostly appreciated that her life went on and she lived it! It can seem too unreasonable to expect someone to just stop their life to focus solely on weight (I guess that is unless you're on a TV show or something), so I thought the directions her life took--moving to the UK--was an interesting reality to her story.
On the whole, this is an inspiring book if you want a realistic look at the ups and downs of one person's weight loss journey. There isn't necessarily a lot about how she did it, outside of the common sense "eat less and exercise" mantra, but it does give you a lot about her mindset and how it changed over time. Overall, this was a much more entertaining read than a mere self help book. This is one of those books that anyone could read to appreciate.
August 18, 2012
This is not the kind of book I normally read, but I was so unexpectedly moved that I have to review it here. I usually hate memoirs but Shauna Reid is the most delightful person, so charming and funny and well-intentioned that only a Scrooge would root against her. I teared up multiple times and read favorite passages out to my boyfriend as I read, and as soon as I finished I looked up her blog to see how she's doing now. She has pictures on her Flickr of events from the book, FYI - the Vegemite tasting, the trip to Las Vegas, etc.
I don't think a weight loss memoir could get better than this. She's funny, yeah, but she puts in the hard work. She does the hard work, mental, spiritual, and of course, physical. She truly, honest to god, changes her life. By the time I got to the end of the book, I could barely recognize the narrator from the first half - Shauna had changed so much as a person! Every part of this book was inspiring, and I cherished reading it, even though I'm not trying to lose a tremendous amount of weight like she was. Reading this book compelled me to try reading similar memoirs but unfortunately the others haven't held up yet. It's hard to top this book. Totally recommended, even (and maybe ESPECIALLY) to folks like me who wouldn't normally pick up this type of book.
I don't think a weight loss memoir could get better than this. She's funny, yeah, but she puts in the hard work. She does the hard work, mental, spiritual, and of course, physical. She truly, honest to god, changes her life. By the time I got to the end of the book, I could barely recognize the narrator from the first half - Shauna had changed so much as a person! Every part of this book was inspiring, and I cherished reading it, even though I'm not trying to lose a tremendous amount of weight like she was. Reading this book compelled me to try reading similar memoirs but unfortunately the others haven't held up yet. It's hard to top this book. Totally recommended, even (and maybe ESPECIALLY) to folks like me who wouldn't normally pick up this type of book.
February 4, 2010
One of those "I picked this up at exactly the right point in my life" books. Also one of the few "blog book that is even better as a book than a blog" books. When I first picked it up, I skimmed a bit in the middle, a date with Gareth, and was thoroughly charmed. I'm glad I did that, because starting at the beginning when she was so filled with self-loathing was harder to get through. But this was utterly rewarding and has made me think a lot about my own life and the Fat Girl Issues we share that she had to work through. I really felt like this was My Book - I identified more strongly with Shauna and her story than I have with any other in a very long time.
I see a lot of the reviews are bothered by the fact that she only liked herself after losing weight, which is valid, but I think misses the big picture - she liked herself after seeing what she was capable of. The two things happened pretty much simultaneously and were so intertwined I don't think you can pull one away from the other.
I see a lot of the reviews are bothered by the fact that she only liked herself after losing weight, which is valid, but I think misses the big picture - she liked herself after seeing what she was capable of. The two things happened pretty much simultaneously and were so intertwined I don't think you can pull one away from the other.
January 25, 2015
I finished this book in one day, but was entertained the whole time. The author writes well, and you feel like you're reading the private thoughts of a very articulate, very personable best friend, with all the anxieties and doubts and ups and downs those of us who have tried to lose weight have felt at one time or another. No Earth-shattering weight loss tips, just the steady day-in, day-out tried-and-true strategies of eating better, and moving more. While it took over four years for her to lose 175 pounds, the loss happened in fits and spurts, as it usually does, with setbacks and triumphs that are encouraging in their inevitability. And, the bottom line being, if she can do it, for that amount of weight, well, we sure as heck can do it too. I found her postings honest and warm and motivating; highly recommended for seeing what it takes to really get the weight off, slowly and, hopefully, permanently.
January 25, 2009
It is difficult reviewing this book because it is a memoir. However, that does not negate the fact that I hated it. I bought it thinking I would be inspired but it had the opposite effect. Plus, I think it sends the wrong message to women. Just because you are heavy does not mean you have to sit at home like a hermit binging on food all day. I am overweight but I have friends, I travel, I swim, I go out and have fun. In fact, there are very few things I cannot do. It's like Reid is saying the only way to be happy and fulfilled is being skinny. That is bologna. Do I want to get into shape- of course? Am I going to sit around like some lump feeling sorry for myself until I do? Absolutely not.
June 25, 2009
I have lost over 100 lbs myself, so I could relate to the struggle itself in the book, but I couldn't relate to the author. I have always been confident and outgoing, even when I was over 300 lbs. I always went out, socialized and took advantage of life, so it was tough for me to relate to that aspect. I just couldn't get into the self-depracating humor of the book. Much preferred Jen Lancaster's sassy and savvy take on weight and such... guess this just wasn't my cup of tea. Bravo to the author on her success though.
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July 13, 2017I read this book 7 years ago and remember I couldn't put it down. The allure of a very fat woman losing weight was so compelling to me. However, in 2017, I have to say that I am appalled the the whole focus of the book is Reid trying to be thin. She didn't want to be healthy, from what I remember; she wanted to be thin. And that's a problem. I'm not going to rate this book because it spoke to me when I was a different age, but I feel differently now.
November 26, 2011
I read this because it was recommended to by a friend. It's one of the better books of this type that I've read, and occasionally it does feel like she was in my head. At other times I felt very disappointed that she seemed to be "drinking the koolaid" just a bit too much. Good, not great, but certainly not bad, Shauna Reid writes an engaging book about weight, family and serendipity.
March 27, 2021
I enjoyed this book because the person who wrote it is funny and down to earth but I didn't find it inspiring in a weight loss sense. All of the things she went through, all of the thinking and the trying to change attitudes, not just calories, are things I am aware of.
I have struggled my entire life with my weight and the issues are very complex and deep rooted so reading another person's struggle is not going to suddenly change my life - although parts of it did make me laugh. Fortunately for her, after a few false starts, Shauna found she loved exercising whereas I hate it with a passion. I've often heard the phrase "You just need to find an exercise you enjoy." Well, that's all well and good but what if there isn't one? I've looked high and low and I've suffered through the gym embarrassment and the trampolining class where a group of men stood on the balcony overlooking the hall and laughed at me for an hour and yet I have never even been close to finding one I could tolerate long term, let alone enjoy. The impossible search continues.
I'm proud of her for doing it, she beat the massive odds against her, good on her. Plus this might inspire you to succeed with weight loss and keep it off forever, I just don't see it having that affect on me.
I have struggled my entire life with my weight and the issues are very complex and deep rooted so reading another person's struggle is not going to suddenly change my life - although parts of it did make me laugh. Fortunately for her, after a few false starts, Shauna found she loved exercising whereas I hate it with a passion. I've often heard the phrase "You just need to find an exercise you enjoy." Well, that's all well and good but what if there isn't one? I've looked high and low and I've suffered through the gym embarrassment and the trampolining class where a group of men stood on the balcony overlooking the hall and laughed at me for an hour and yet I have never even been close to finding one I could tolerate long term, let alone enjoy. The impossible search continues.
I'm proud of her for doing it, she beat the massive odds against her, good on her. Plus this might inspire you to succeed with weight loss and keep it off forever, I just don't see it having that affect on me.
March 16, 2020
This is the funniest book I have ever read!
Shauna’s brutally honest without ever acknowledging how vulnerable she’s being. It was amazing to see how her confidence grew not just as she was inching closer to her goal weight, but as she pushed herself to go to the gym, out with friends, travel, or to the shops. She did a great job at illustrating that her size and mood did not have direct positive correlation, and instead her happiness stemmed from how she chose to perceive herself. I would recommend this book to anyone who’s ever struggled with weight, depression, social anxiety, or just generally perceives themselves as an awkward troll that doesn’t fit into society.
I’ve never written a review, and I’m not sure how to end this, but I suppose that’s it!
Shauna’s brutally honest without ever acknowledging how vulnerable she’s being. It was amazing to see how her confidence grew not just as she was inching closer to her goal weight, but as she pushed herself to go to the gym, out with friends, travel, or to the shops. She did a great job at illustrating that her size and mood did not have direct positive correlation, and instead her happiness stemmed from how she chose to perceive herself. I would recommend this book to anyone who’s ever struggled with weight, depression, social anxiety, or just generally perceives themselves as an awkward troll that doesn’t fit into society.
I’ve never written a review, and I’m not sure how to end this, but I suppose that’s it!
February 17, 2024
Final Dietgirl understanding: “The true reward is finding peace and acceptance and embracing my own skin, with all its quirks and charms.”
January 13, 2010
I thought I was the only Fat Girl in the world. I mean, I thought certain things were Katie Issues, but it turns out they're a particular strain of Fat Girl Issues. I've never been anywhere near 350lb physically, but if I hadn't put a stop to things last year I easily could have been, given time. And I think 350lbs is about where my brain's been living for the last eight years. Like The Blue Castle did for me around this time last year, The Amazing Adventures of Dietgirl has changed me. I've already lost most of the weight I want to, but the book's as much about your brain as your body -- or perhaps it's more about the things your brain does to your body. At any rate, I'm hugely grateful to this book for switching on another little light bulb for me (actually, a pretty bloody big light bulb, really). Life, I would like to start living you again, if you don't mind.
August 2, 2009
I must confess that I had never read DietGirl's blog before picking up her book. I had just come off reading PastaQueen's memoir, Half-Assed, and wanted something else to continue to provide me with motivation. I picked up the book because she had recommended it on her own blog. Shauna's tale was emotional and realistic. The ups and downs she faced in dropping the pounds (kilos) touched me in a very personal way. This isn't a feel good book, although you certainly feel good after reading it and knowing there is hope to be found (although you don't have to move halfway around the world to find it). It is an honest depiction of losing a lot of weight and becoming an entirely new person. I hadn't read DietGirl before this but now I am a huge fan!
January 22, 2010
Reading the Amazing Adventures of Dietgirl was just the thing to read to inspire me to lose weight this year. There were several things that I loved about this book. First, I liked that Shauna was easy to relate to. As she began and traveled on her weight loss journey, you sympatized with her when she had setbacks and rejoiced with her as she lost weight. This book engaged me from the first page to the final page and I coudln't put the book down. I saw alot of myself in this book and I feel that if Shauna can lose half of her body weight (175 lbs.)in five years, what's stopping me from achieving my goals? This book was awesome!
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March 24, 2012I decided to make this my March reading project after seeing this on Katie Kempski's profile. It caught my attention and went to check it out at our local library and I am so glad I did. It was a great story, differnt that what I expected and gave me some insights to something I have dealt with all my life, trying to free myself from a life of poor food choices and trying to overcome the exercise limitations I placed on myself. I give it 4 stars out of 5! So I have been able to honor my New Years resolution to read one book a month this year and will be starting my fifth book once I finish this 3 week express class.
January 12, 2009
Best book of 2008, since that was the release date, and 2009, since that was when I read it. First book that's made me cry in a long, long time. First book whose real-life love story set my heart a-flutter. Most inspirational book ever, maybe? I'm sure Ms Reid knows this but the story was so much more than her (truly amazing) weight loss. It was when she finally let go and dove head-first into Life and Experiences and Freedom from 'The Body' (boy, can I relate) that she became a Superhero. I love this girl and look forward to more from her.
June 25, 2014
This book came out of an entertaining blog circa 2004, which chronicles Shauna Reid's transformation from a 350-pound depressed young woman to a woman of normal size. She's a good writer, and it's easy to feel for and with her as she cuts her weight in half.
December 21, 2008
This was OK - Shauna Reid is a warm, amusing writer - but I think it was better in a blog format. I just don't enjoy books that began as blogs.
April 9, 2009
A sweet story (and I'm super-glad for the author's happy ending), but a good example of why most successful blogs make pretty crap books.
April 15, 2015
Super funny, moving and something every girl can relate to - no matter her size!
June 26, 2015
”Vuosia olen odottanut täydellistä hetkeä. Ennusmerkkiä. Suurta ilmestystä. Mitä tahansa, mikä vihdoin uppoaisi paksuun kallooni.”
”En pysty muistamaan aikaa, jolloin en tuntenut itseäni lihavaksi. En tiedä, miten tai miksi se tunne alkoi, mutta ajatukset väijyivät aina pinnan alla.”
”Sanat kaikuivat korvissani ja alkoivat vallata elämääni. Miten iso tyttö. Miten iso tyttö.”
”Hyvän leirissä olivat kasvikset, hedelmät ja riisikakut. Suklaa, leivokset ja kaikki vähänkin makea ja miellyttävä olivat ”pahoja”. Kun siis sain eteeni lautasellisen ”hyvää” ruokaa, se tarkoitti, että minussa oli jotain ”pahaa”. ”Hyvää” ruokaa ei syöty siksi, että se oli terveellistä; sitä syötiin, koska ei haluttu olla lihavia.”
”Mitä kiivaammin minut pakotettiin syömään ”hyviä” ruokia, sitä enemmän ”pahasta” ruuasta tuli vastustamattoman ja kielletyn houkuttelevaa.”
”Miksi ystäväni eivät nähneet sitä? Olin lihava.”
”Minua huolestutti, että sanoinpa (lääkärille) mitä tahansa, diagnoosina olisi yksinkertaisesti ”LÄSKI”.
”Kun selailin (valokuva-albumin) sivuja, olin kertakaikkisen kauhistunut nähdessäni täysin normaalinnäköisen lapsen katsovan niistä takaisin. Missä olivat ne kammottavat reidet, jotka muistin? Missä oli se maha? Näytin ihan tavalliselta.”
”Miksi minulle väitettiin, että olen lihava, vaikka en ollut? Olin koko lapsuuteni antanut itseinhoni sanella kaikki sanomiseni ja tekemiseni. Jos en olisi vaalinut tuota uskomustani kaikkina niinä vuosina, olisiko ruumistani tullut tällainen massiivinen, mahdoton sotku?”
”En ole koskaan ollut optimisti. Odotan mieluusti pahinta; sillä tavalla saan kivan bonuksen, jos tapahtuukin jotain hyvää.”
”Mutta minua huolestutti, että tämä ei vain toimisi. Olen ollut lihava niin monta vuotta.”
”Viimeisessä ehtoollisessa ei ole kyse pelkästään vatsan ahtamisesta täyteen. On täytettävä myösmielensä ruualla.”
”Edistyt mainiosti, lakkaa olemasta huolissasi. Mutta minun on oltava huolissani! Jos en ole, saattaisin sallia itselleni omahyväisyyden ja menestymisen tunteet ja sitten ajatella, että on hyväksyttävää ahmaista muutama Mars-patukka, ja mehän kaikki tiedämme, mitä sitten tapahtuu.”
”Minua huolestuttaa, että vanhat huonot tottumukseni vaanivat jossain puun takana odottaen sopivaa hetkeä päästäkseen taas valtaan.”
”Joskus unohdan aivan lyhyeksi hetkeksi, että olen lihava. Suin kädellä hiuksiani ja tunnen, kuinka pehmeiltä ne tuntuvat. Tai ihailen kulmakarvojeni kaarta meikatessani silmiäni. Hymyilen itselleni ja ajattelen; Et ole hullumman näköinen!”
”Joskus toivon palavasti, että joku vain katsoisi minuun päin ja hymyilisi. Mutta koska kaikki tämä läski ympäröi minua, olen täydellisen sukupuoleton ja näkymätön. On hassua, että mitä enemmän vien tilaa, sitä tehokkaammin sulaudun tapettiin.”
”Vaikka läskit lähtisivätkin, pitääkö kukaan siitä, mikä on niiden alla? Olen silti se sama vanha minä, vain hieman pienempänä. Tekeekö laihtuminen minusta itsevarmemman, vai olenko edelleenkin sosiaalisesti yhtä taitamaton. Nyt jos kukaan ei halua minua, voin panna sen sairaalloisen lihavuuden tiliin. Mutta entä jos minusta tulee hoikempi eikä kukaan halua minua silloinkaan?”
”Minusta on pelottavaa, kuinka täydellisesti elämäni pyöri ruoan ympärillä. Syödessäni aamiaista pohdiskelin, mitä söisin lounaaksi. Minkä rasvaisen keitoksen valitsisin ruokakaupasta tänään? Jopa tunkiessani lounasta suuhuni ajatukseni vaelsivat iltapäivän välipalassa.”
”Minun on saatava itseni vakuuttuneeksi siitä, että suklaalevyn tuottama lyhytaikainen ilo ei vedä vertoja sille ilolle, joka viriää ottaessani elämäni haltuun.”
”Se sai minut ajattelemaan, kuinka paljon aikaa vietän vartalostani hermoillen. Tämä kohta on liian iso, tuo kohta on liian löllyvä, tuo kohta liian ruma, tuo kohta taas on yksinkertaisesti väärä. On uuvuttavaa olla niin vainoharhainen ja kriittinen. Miksi en pysty arvostamaan sitä, mitä minulla on?”
”Haluan palavasti tuntea olevani luontevasti omissa nahoissani kaikkine omituisuuksineni ja virheineni. Haluan olla tyytyväinen siihen, että olen juuri minä.”
”Koko tämä viha-rakkaussuhde omaan ruumiiseeni on uuvuttava. Kuinka lannistaa tuo kielteinen ääni? Kuinka oppia pitämään itsestään?”
”Tuleeko koskaan aikaa, jolloin pidän itsestäni koko ajan, joka paikassa?”
”Mitä tapahtui viime vuoden lopun itseluottamukselleni ja ylvästelylleni? Tunsin silloin, että voisin valloittaa maailman, mutta viime aikoina olen halunnut maailman painuvan helvettiin!”
”Ihmiset tarjoavat vakiofraaseja. Kyllä sinä toivut. Aika parantaa haavat. Se saa sappeni kiehumaan. En halua kuulla, että se helpottaa, että minun pitäisi olla onnellinen, ettei vaarin tarvitse enää kärsiä, että hän on päässyt parempaa paikkaan. En ole varma, uskonko mihinkään parempaa paikkaan. Kaipaan häntä vain helvetin kovasti ja haluan jonkun sanovan jotain, mikä vie pois vatsassani olevan kiven.”
”Niin monesti ajattelin, että en ansainnut heidän ystävyyttään; joskus vieläkin ajattelen niin. Mutta tiedän, että minun on lakattava tuhlaamasta aikaa ja energiaa vainoharhaisuuteen ja ryhdyttävä sen sijaan paremmaksi ystäväksi. Ei enää piileskelyä, ei enää epäilyjä, ei enää syrjään vetäytymistä ja itsesääliä sillä aikaa kun ystäväni pitävät hauskaa.”
”Mutta vakavasti puhuen minulla on perusteellinen luettelo asioista, joita en tehnyt, koska olin liian lihava tai luulin olevani.”
”Joskus olin aivan kirjaimellisestikin liian lihava – esimerkiksi kanootteihin tai huvipuistolaitteisiin. Mutta enimmäkseen se kaikki oli korvieni välissä. Olen viettänyt niin monia vuosia vetäytyen syrjään uusista kokemuksista, koska tunsin itseni arvottomaksi rasvapalloksi.”
”Yhtäkkiä maailma tuntuu avoimelta ja mahdollisuuksia pursuavalta, ja minun tarvitsee vain päättää, mitä seuraavaksi. En ole enää liian lihava.”
”Kuinka päädyin taas tähän tilaan, jossa ajattelen jatkuvasti ruokaa? Mitä tapahtui aivojeni sille osalle, joka saa minut pysähtymään ja ajattelemaan ennen kuin syön.”
”Haluaisin päästä pisteeseen, jossa voisin olla ylpeä sen sijaan että olen häpeissäni. Osa minusta ajattelee edelleen, että olen iso hyödytön möhkäle, joka ei ansaitse kiintymystä eikä huomiota. Mikä helvetti minussa on vikana?”
”En voinut uskoa, että se olin minä Punaisella torilla, se sama pelokas henkilö, joka kolme vuotta sitten sanoi olevansa liian lihava matkustamaan.”
”Voi kunpa pääsisin tästä Nopeasti! Syö, kun kukaan ei ole näkemässä – mentaliteetista.”
”Kuinka lakkasit käyttämästä ruokaa vastauksena ongelmiisi? Mistä löysit sen rohkeuden? Minun on pakko tehdä jotain mutta en vain tiedä, mistä aloittaa. Katselen vain, kuinka elämä kulkee ohitseni, enkä tiedä, miten pysäyttäisin sen.”
”Painonpudotuksessa ei ole kyse tahdonvoimasta ja motivaatiosta; se on vain pienten tekojen ajan myötä kasautuvaa vaikutusta. Suklaalevyjen laskemista käsistään, juoksukenkien jalkaan panemista. Täytyy vain saada itsensä nousemaan yhä uudestaan, kun on kaatunut, kestipä se kuinka kauan hyvänsä.”
”Olin vakuuttunut siitä, että urheilulliset myyjät nauraisivat minut ulos kaupasta, koska miksi helvetissä niin paksu tarvitsisi juoksukenkiä?”
”Miksi en kykene olemaan ylpeä itsestäni? Mitä tapahtui sille itsevarmalle naiselle, joka juoksi viisi kilometriä? Luulin muuttaneeni asiat. Luulin pitäväni itsestäni enemmän.”
”Nyt oivallan, että tämä läskinkarkotusmatka ei ole ollut niinkään läskin karkottamista vaan pelkojen ja epävarmuuden karkottamista ja opettelemista pitämään itsestäni… todellakin opettelemista pitämään elämästä.”
”On kuin sanoisin maailmalle; Hei, ihmiset, antakaa kun säästän teidät siltä, että muodostaisitte mielipiteen minusta. Olen jo hoitanut asian puolestanne!”
”Ruumiini kihisi ärtymyksestä. Suhtaudun äärimmäisen suojelevasti aiempaan isokokoisempaan itseeni. Olen edelleen sama ihminen kuin silloin, mutta nyt minulla vain on hieman paremmat ruokailu- ja kuntoilutavat. Joskus minusta tuntuu, että minun olisi pitänyt olla alkoholisti; se on ilmeisesti sosiaalisesti hyväksyttävämpi luonnevika. Liikalihavuudessa ei ole mitään hohdokasta.”
”Tunsin itseni puolikkaaksi siitä persoonasta, joka halusin olla. Piilouduin maailmalta ja yritin olla mahdollisimman huomaamaton. Koska ruumiini vei niin ison tilan, koetin pienentää persoonallisuuttani.”
”Olen kyllästynyt murehtimaan, mitä ihmiset ajattelevat, kun todennäköisesti he eivät ajattele yhtään mitään.”
”Mieleni teki itkeä siinä pöydässä, kun ajattelin, kuinka olin niin monien vuosien ajan aktiivisesti vältellyt näitä ihmisiä ajatellessani, etten ollut heidän ystävyytensä arvoinen. Katsoin maailmaan läskilasien läpi ja oletin, että muutkin näkivät minut samalla tavoin. Kerroin niin monia valheita ja kätkin niin monia salaisuuksia. Kuka tietää, kuinka erilaista olisi voinut olla, jos vain olisin ojentanut käteni?”
”Olin aina hakenut epätoivoisesti hyväksyntää ja vahvistusta muilta, mutta nyt tiedän, että aidon mielihyvän saa tehdessään vaikutuksen itseensä.”
”Ajattelin aina, että tarvitsin sen lukeman vaa’alla osoittamaan, että olen ansainnut tämän onnen, mutta siitä hetkestä lähtien, jolloin katsoin peiliin ja aloin arvostaa näkemääni, olin jo voittanut sen palkinnon.”
Kuuden vuoden taistelujen myötä Shauna pudotti painoaan 80 kiloa.
”En pysty muistamaan aikaa, jolloin en tuntenut itseäni lihavaksi. En tiedä, miten tai miksi se tunne alkoi, mutta ajatukset väijyivät aina pinnan alla.”
”Sanat kaikuivat korvissani ja alkoivat vallata elämääni. Miten iso tyttö. Miten iso tyttö.”
”Hyvän leirissä olivat kasvikset, hedelmät ja riisikakut. Suklaa, leivokset ja kaikki vähänkin makea ja miellyttävä olivat ”pahoja”. Kun siis sain eteeni lautasellisen ”hyvää” ruokaa, se tarkoitti, että minussa oli jotain ”pahaa”. ”Hyvää” ruokaa ei syöty siksi, että se oli terveellistä; sitä syötiin, koska ei haluttu olla lihavia.”
”Mitä kiivaammin minut pakotettiin syömään ”hyviä” ruokia, sitä enemmän ”pahasta” ruuasta tuli vastustamattoman ja kielletyn houkuttelevaa.”
”Miksi ystäväni eivät nähneet sitä? Olin lihava.”
”Minua huolestutti, että sanoinpa (lääkärille) mitä tahansa, diagnoosina olisi yksinkertaisesti ”LÄSKI”.
”Kun selailin (valokuva-albumin) sivuja, olin kertakaikkisen kauhistunut nähdessäni täysin normaalinnäköisen lapsen katsovan niistä takaisin. Missä olivat ne kammottavat reidet, jotka muistin? Missä oli se maha? Näytin ihan tavalliselta.”
”Miksi minulle väitettiin, että olen lihava, vaikka en ollut? Olin koko lapsuuteni antanut itseinhoni sanella kaikki sanomiseni ja tekemiseni. Jos en olisi vaalinut tuota uskomustani kaikkina niinä vuosina, olisiko ruumistani tullut tällainen massiivinen, mahdoton sotku?”
”En ole koskaan ollut optimisti. Odotan mieluusti pahinta; sillä tavalla saan kivan bonuksen, jos tapahtuukin jotain hyvää.”
”Mutta minua huolestutti, että tämä ei vain toimisi. Olen ollut lihava niin monta vuotta.”
”Viimeisessä ehtoollisessa ei ole kyse pelkästään vatsan ahtamisesta täyteen. On täytettävä myösmielensä ruualla.”
”Edistyt mainiosti, lakkaa olemasta huolissasi. Mutta minun on oltava huolissani! Jos en ole, saattaisin sallia itselleni omahyväisyyden ja menestymisen tunteet ja sitten ajatella, että on hyväksyttävää ahmaista muutama Mars-patukka, ja mehän kaikki tiedämme, mitä sitten tapahtuu.”
”Minua huolestuttaa, että vanhat huonot tottumukseni vaanivat jossain puun takana odottaen sopivaa hetkeä päästäkseen taas valtaan.”
”Joskus unohdan aivan lyhyeksi hetkeksi, että olen lihava. Suin kädellä hiuksiani ja tunnen, kuinka pehmeiltä ne tuntuvat. Tai ihailen kulmakarvojeni kaarta meikatessani silmiäni. Hymyilen itselleni ja ajattelen; Et ole hullumman näköinen!”
”Joskus toivon palavasti, että joku vain katsoisi minuun päin ja hymyilisi. Mutta koska kaikki tämä läski ympäröi minua, olen täydellisen sukupuoleton ja näkymätön. On hassua, että mitä enemmän vien tilaa, sitä tehokkaammin sulaudun tapettiin.”
”Vaikka läskit lähtisivätkin, pitääkö kukaan siitä, mikä on niiden alla? Olen silti se sama vanha minä, vain hieman pienempänä. Tekeekö laihtuminen minusta itsevarmemman, vai olenko edelleenkin sosiaalisesti yhtä taitamaton. Nyt jos kukaan ei halua minua, voin panna sen sairaalloisen lihavuuden tiliin. Mutta entä jos minusta tulee hoikempi eikä kukaan halua minua silloinkaan?”
”Minusta on pelottavaa, kuinka täydellisesti elämäni pyöri ruoan ympärillä. Syödessäni aamiaista pohdiskelin, mitä söisin lounaaksi. Minkä rasvaisen keitoksen valitsisin ruokakaupasta tänään? Jopa tunkiessani lounasta suuhuni ajatukseni vaelsivat iltapäivän välipalassa.”
”Minun on saatava itseni vakuuttuneeksi siitä, että suklaalevyn tuottama lyhytaikainen ilo ei vedä vertoja sille ilolle, joka viriää ottaessani elämäni haltuun.”
”Se sai minut ajattelemaan, kuinka paljon aikaa vietän vartalostani hermoillen. Tämä kohta on liian iso, tuo kohta on liian löllyvä, tuo kohta liian ruma, tuo kohta taas on yksinkertaisesti väärä. On uuvuttavaa olla niin vainoharhainen ja kriittinen. Miksi en pysty arvostamaan sitä, mitä minulla on?”
”Haluan palavasti tuntea olevani luontevasti omissa nahoissani kaikkine omituisuuksineni ja virheineni. Haluan olla tyytyväinen siihen, että olen juuri minä.”
”Koko tämä viha-rakkaussuhde omaan ruumiiseeni on uuvuttava. Kuinka lannistaa tuo kielteinen ääni? Kuinka oppia pitämään itsestään?”
”Tuleeko koskaan aikaa, jolloin pidän itsestäni koko ajan, joka paikassa?”
”Mitä tapahtui viime vuoden lopun itseluottamukselleni ja ylvästelylleni? Tunsin silloin, että voisin valloittaa maailman, mutta viime aikoina olen halunnut maailman painuvan helvettiin!”
”Ihmiset tarjoavat vakiofraaseja. Kyllä sinä toivut. Aika parantaa haavat. Se saa sappeni kiehumaan. En halua kuulla, että se helpottaa, että minun pitäisi olla onnellinen, ettei vaarin tarvitse enää kärsiä, että hän on päässyt parempaa paikkaan. En ole varma, uskonko mihinkään parempaa paikkaan. Kaipaan häntä vain helvetin kovasti ja haluan jonkun sanovan jotain, mikä vie pois vatsassani olevan kiven.”
”Niin monesti ajattelin, että en ansainnut heidän ystävyyttään; joskus vieläkin ajattelen niin. Mutta tiedän, että minun on lakattava tuhlaamasta aikaa ja energiaa vainoharhaisuuteen ja ryhdyttävä sen sijaan paremmaksi ystäväksi. Ei enää piileskelyä, ei enää epäilyjä, ei enää syrjään vetäytymistä ja itsesääliä sillä aikaa kun ystäväni pitävät hauskaa.”
”Mutta vakavasti puhuen minulla on perusteellinen luettelo asioista, joita en tehnyt, koska olin liian lihava tai luulin olevani.”
”Joskus olin aivan kirjaimellisestikin liian lihava – esimerkiksi kanootteihin tai huvipuistolaitteisiin. Mutta enimmäkseen se kaikki oli korvieni välissä. Olen viettänyt niin monia vuosia vetäytyen syrjään uusista kokemuksista, koska tunsin itseni arvottomaksi rasvapalloksi.”
”Yhtäkkiä maailma tuntuu avoimelta ja mahdollisuuksia pursuavalta, ja minun tarvitsee vain päättää, mitä seuraavaksi. En ole enää liian lihava.”
”Kuinka päädyin taas tähän tilaan, jossa ajattelen jatkuvasti ruokaa? Mitä tapahtui aivojeni sille osalle, joka saa minut pysähtymään ja ajattelemaan ennen kuin syön.”
”Haluaisin päästä pisteeseen, jossa voisin olla ylpeä sen sijaan että olen häpeissäni. Osa minusta ajattelee edelleen, että olen iso hyödytön möhkäle, joka ei ansaitse kiintymystä eikä huomiota. Mikä helvetti minussa on vikana?”
”En voinut uskoa, että se olin minä Punaisella torilla, se sama pelokas henkilö, joka kolme vuotta sitten sanoi olevansa liian lihava matkustamaan.”
”Voi kunpa pääsisin tästä Nopeasti! Syö, kun kukaan ei ole näkemässä – mentaliteetista.”
”Kuinka lakkasit käyttämästä ruokaa vastauksena ongelmiisi? Mistä löysit sen rohkeuden? Minun on pakko tehdä jotain mutta en vain tiedä, mistä aloittaa. Katselen vain, kuinka elämä kulkee ohitseni, enkä tiedä, miten pysäyttäisin sen.”
”Painonpudotuksessa ei ole kyse tahdonvoimasta ja motivaatiosta; se on vain pienten tekojen ajan myötä kasautuvaa vaikutusta. Suklaalevyjen laskemista käsistään, juoksukenkien jalkaan panemista. Täytyy vain saada itsensä nousemaan yhä uudestaan, kun on kaatunut, kestipä se kuinka kauan hyvänsä.”
”Olin vakuuttunut siitä, että urheilulliset myyjät nauraisivat minut ulos kaupasta, koska miksi helvetissä niin paksu tarvitsisi juoksukenkiä?”
”Miksi en kykene olemaan ylpeä itsestäni? Mitä tapahtui sille itsevarmalle naiselle, joka juoksi viisi kilometriä? Luulin muuttaneeni asiat. Luulin pitäväni itsestäni enemmän.”
”Nyt oivallan, että tämä läskinkarkotusmatka ei ole ollut niinkään läskin karkottamista vaan pelkojen ja epävarmuuden karkottamista ja opettelemista pitämään itsestäni… todellakin opettelemista pitämään elämästä.”
”On kuin sanoisin maailmalle; Hei, ihmiset, antakaa kun säästän teidät siltä, että muodostaisitte mielipiteen minusta. Olen jo hoitanut asian puolestanne!”
”Ruumiini kihisi ärtymyksestä. Suhtaudun äärimmäisen suojelevasti aiempaan isokokoisempaan itseeni. Olen edelleen sama ihminen kuin silloin, mutta nyt minulla vain on hieman paremmat ruokailu- ja kuntoilutavat. Joskus minusta tuntuu, että minun olisi pitänyt olla alkoholisti; se on ilmeisesti sosiaalisesti hyväksyttävämpi luonnevika. Liikalihavuudessa ei ole mitään hohdokasta.”
”Tunsin itseni puolikkaaksi siitä persoonasta, joka halusin olla. Piilouduin maailmalta ja yritin olla mahdollisimman huomaamaton. Koska ruumiini vei niin ison tilan, koetin pienentää persoonallisuuttani.”
”Olen kyllästynyt murehtimaan, mitä ihmiset ajattelevat, kun todennäköisesti he eivät ajattele yhtään mitään.”
”Mieleni teki itkeä siinä pöydässä, kun ajattelin, kuinka olin niin monien vuosien ajan aktiivisesti vältellyt näitä ihmisiä ajatellessani, etten ollut heidän ystävyytensä arvoinen. Katsoin maailmaan läskilasien läpi ja oletin, että muutkin näkivät minut samalla tavoin. Kerroin niin monia valheita ja kätkin niin monia salaisuuksia. Kuka tietää, kuinka erilaista olisi voinut olla, jos vain olisin ojentanut käteni?”
”Olin aina hakenut epätoivoisesti hyväksyntää ja vahvistusta muilta, mutta nyt tiedän, että aidon mielihyvän saa tehdessään vaikutuksen itseensä.”
”Ajattelin aina, että tarvitsin sen lukeman vaa’alla osoittamaan, että olen ansainnut tämän onnen, mutta siitä hetkestä lähtien, jolloin katsoin peiliin ja aloin arvostaa näkemääni, olin jo voittanut sen palkinnon.”
Kuuden vuoden taistelujen myötä Shauna pudotti painoaan 80 kiloa.
April 25, 2025
I enjoyed Shauna’s transparency about her internal and external battles. What was great was that she was accepted by loving friends and family regardless of her size, but there was definitely the too common (to not address) lingering trauma that stemmed from her parent’s divorce and her mom’s constant obsession with Shauna’s as well as her own size.
The book is funny and charming and frustrating. I have read this book many years after the last reviews were posted and Shauna has not kept the weight off. From what I can see on her website, she has gained it all back. Life happens, however she prepares us at the end of the book for this very event as she justifies outwardly that manning the scale and her portions for many years is not good for her. She also had many, many, many experiences noted where she binged on all the things she either missed after moving from Australia and visiting once again or felt she had to eat while traveling to new places just to try them.
I have had to manage my weight my entire life. I have never gotten over 185, however I would have had I just eaten whatever I wanted when I wanted. Some of us are not blessed with those kinds of genes and we have to work a lot harder than others to maintain or even lose a pound. What I will walk away with here knowing that Shauna put it all back on (and no…she never had children to stack the decks even more) is that she somehow knew in her heart that she was going to let it happen and she was okay with that. She worked hard to lose, found peace and love within herself and with her new life and that was enough. She looks happy on her website and appears to be living life on her terms. If that’s really the case then good for her! She did it her way and that’s awesome!
The book is funny and charming and frustrating. I have read this book many years after the last reviews were posted and Shauna has not kept the weight off. From what I can see on her website, she has gained it all back. Life happens, however she prepares us at the end of the book for this very event as she justifies outwardly that manning the scale and her portions for many years is not good for her. She also had many, many, many experiences noted where she binged on all the things she either missed after moving from Australia and visiting once again or felt she had to eat while traveling to new places just to try them.
I have had to manage my weight my entire life. I have never gotten over 185, however I would have had I just eaten whatever I wanted when I wanted. Some of us are not blessed with those kinds of genes and we have to work a lot harder than others to maintain or even lose a pound. What I will walk away with here knowing that Shauna put it all back on (and no…she never had children to stack the decks even more) is that she somehow knew in her heart that she was going to let it happen and she was okay with that. She worked hard to lose, found peace and love within herself and with her new life and that was enough. She looks happy on her website and appears to be living life on her terms. If that’s really the case then good for her! She did it her way and that’s awesome!
December 9, 2022
I loved the beginning of this book, but the self-depreciation goes too far. I had to stop reading because of how terribly she spoke to herself. It made me wonder if I should be speaking to myself in that way. I wish I could just hug the human writing the first 100 pages.
The book was written in a different time, so I realise that worth and weight were a lot more tied up than they are now but PHEW. I grew up with an Almond Mom too, and was taken to WW as an underweight teen. It felt as though I was reading my mother’s thoughts about me. Such casual cruelty in the adjectives she chose to give herself.
I’m sure as she continues, her self-talk becomes kinder as she sees herself as human. However, for my own mental health and self-talk, I cannot continue.
The book was written in a different time, so I realise that worth and weight were a lot more tied up than they are now but PHEW. I grew up with an Almond Mom too, and was taken to WW as an underweight teen. It felt as though I was reading my mother’s thoughts about me. Such casual cruelty in the adjectives she chose to give herself.
I’m sure as she continues, her self-talk becomes kinder as she sees herself as human. However, for my own mental health and self-talk, I cannot continue.
January 15, 2026
This was the bookish account of a woman trying to lose nearly 200 pounds and come out of some depression. She was INCREDIBLY self deprecating and made her whole identity her weight. It's told in weekly entries over 5 years (with a lot of weeks being skipped of course) and it was fine but got redundant. I wanted her to realize her worth had nothing to do with her size and by the end she sort of did that, but I still feel like she would've felt worthless if she gained her weight back. I don't blame her because thats what culture tells us, I just am inspired by people who can fight against that. This book is obviously very fat shamey and gives a lot of numbers, so please be careful if that sounds triggering.
September 14, 2022
An optimistic and sweet true story of a young woman who managed to half her weight. Especially the first half when she battled with depression and obsessive eating was so intense I couldn't put the book down, and kudos for her for sharing sonething so personal with us. Latter half when she only had a little overweight and still had some insecurities but didn't let those stop her from doing everything she had dreamed about, everything was perhaps more relatable but also, because "happy families are all alike", more boring to read. Then again, it's inspiring to know that happy things do sometimes happen to people who really deserve them.
February 11, 2024
Losing 175 pounds in an incredible accomplishment and the perseverance it takes should be lauded. However, I was hoping for more out of this book. The personal growth shown is very limited, and maybe it’s a different sense of humor but I struggled with how little grace Shauna gave herself. Even after losing 100 pounds she still viewed herself as not good enough and still had that self loathing because she wasn’t thin enough. There is a lot of psychological stuff to unpack for her, but it still was hard reading how little she believed in herself and negatively she viewed herself. The last 10% of the book she final comes to appreciate and seemingly love who she is.
August 5, 2025
A collection of Shauna Reid's blog posts as she loses 189 pounds over four years.
3.5 stars
This is very readable in a 'just one more entry' type of way. Shauna is a person you can relate to - she wasn't superwoman and she made mistakes. But she kept picking herself up and learning to like herself. She took chances with moving to another country and she eventually got a happy 'ending'.
I think the publisher did a disservice by labeling this as 'The hilarious and heartwarming tale..." Shauna is actually very funny but I didn't find any of it hilarious because there was so much suffering, self-blame, and self-hate. She managed to get through all of it but hilarious it was not.
3.5 stars
This is very readable in a 'just one more entry' type of way. Shauna is a person you can relate to - she wasn't superwoman and she made mistakes. But she kept picking herself up and learning to like herself. She took chances with moving to another country and she eventually got a happy 'ending'.
I think the publisher did a disservice by labeling this as 'The hilarious and heartwarming tale..." Shauna is actually very funny but I didn't find any of it hilarious because there was so much suffering, self-blame, and self-hate. She managed to get through all of it but hilarious it was not.
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