Partners In Passion: A Guide to Great Sex, Emotional Intimacy and Long-term Love

by Mark A. Michaels

Happily married partners in passion themselves, award-winning authors Mark A. Michaels and Patricia Johnson provide readers with a fun, step-by-step manual to creating a lasting, loving and erotic relationship.

Partners in Passion proposes alternative models of long-term connection, founded on mutuality, a collaborative mindset, empathy and transparency. It features interviews with long-term couples and includes an extensive resource guide that covers everything from health to erotica, with excellent advice from many of today’s leading sexuality and relationship educators.

Inside, you'll learn:
- Why communication is important but talking is overrated
- How to balance the need for intimacy with the need for personal freedom
- Ways that sexual adventuring can strengthen your bond
- Tips to deal with discrepancies, distractions and disruptions in your sex life
- Ways to maintain a vibrant erotic connection throughout your lives

Genres: Sexuality, Relationships, Nonfiction, Psychology, Self Help

476 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2014

Reviews

[Jillyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of the rare times that I can honestly say that everyone should read this book. Whether you're young and just starting out in the world of sexual relationships or a senior citizen looking on how to best continue, this book has something for everyone to learn.

There is so much useful information packed into this guide, I can't even begin to describe it all. So, I'll hit on some main things that I personally enjoyed or learned from in this book.

Not shockingly, the sections on kink and exploring sexual fantasies interested me. I'm not a stranger to the lifestyle of BDSM, and I have to say the advice about communication and exploring new ideas and activities with your partner is dead on and crucial. There are plenty of tips for everything, from how to admit that you're into a fetish to how to meet like minded people. Color me surprised when I found a familiar website, Fetlife, mentioned. This is a great site, and I was really happy to see it incorporated.

Similarly, I was happy to see open relationships and polyamory represented in a non-judgmental and professional way that explains the lifestyles well. They're words that come with bad associations, and I'm very happy to see the authors clearing up the confusion and connotations that encircle them.

Honestly, I'm really impressed with the amount of technical knowledge that this guide includes. There are anatomical diagrams, plenty of facts about medical conditions that effect sexual regions and desires, and even things such as STIs and safer sex. Additionally, these facts are cited in the back, along with resources on everything from sex shops to safety websites. It's a great list that includes some sites and businesses that I'm already familiar with and recommend.

Advice on how to be the best partner you can both emotionally and physically, tantric sex, how to keep your bedroom sexy, how to last for the romantic long haul and so much more are held within this book. If you are sexually active, this should be in your life. I know that my copy will stay on a nearby shelf for whatever questions may come up in our own boudoir. I'd also like to point out to my darling readers that THIS BOOK IS LGBT INCLUSIVE! Couples of all ages, experience, and orientation are represented here, so when I say everyone I mean it. This is a huge plus for me as well.

Thank you so much to Cleis Press for sending me a copy of this in exchange for my honest review. This review can also be found on my new blog, Bitches n Prose.

[Emerald Emerald · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found Parters in Passion an extraordinary combination of 1) explanation of pertinent history and cultural context; 2) affirmation of readers’ uniqueness as both couples and individuals; 3) invitation to personal exploration; and 4) practical considerations, resources, and/or recommendations.

In addition, I was struck by how comprehensive the volume is—it contains an incredible range of information and covers an array of topics to a surprising degree of depth. Need an overview of sexual anatomy? See chapter six. Interested in Tantra? Check out chapter seven. Curious about swinging or other forms of nonmonogamy? Visit chapter nine. Wondering about sex and parenting issues? Reference chapter eleven. Incidentally, any time you want more information about almost any area covered, you can check the vast resource guide of which chapter thirteen is comprised.

Partners in Passion is not, in any way, a clinical, detached, or "how-to" guide that glosses over anything in the name of quick fixes or empty suggestions. Rather, it is a sincere, depth-filled, conscientious exploration imbued with the sense that the authors have walked (and are walking) their talk and are inviting you to learn and walk along with them at your own pace and in your own way. As a truly affected and appreciative reader, I add my voice to that invitation.

(For my extended review, please see http://thegreenlightdistrict.org/word....)

[Arabella Champaq · Rating 5 out of 5]

Partners in Passion: A Guide to Great Sex, Emotional Intimacy and Long-Term Love
Mark A. Michaels and Patricia Johnson

Review
“Love is Profound Interest” according to authors Mark Michaels and Patricia Johnson. They write about love and relationships with a fluidity born of their own great experiment in marriage and committed love. As they explore common themes of love and sex, they consistently model a very different way of being in relationship. A way that is not based upon the June and Ward Cleaver mythology that still informs our morphic field, but is based instead upon themes of experimentation and play, intimacy and mystery, expectations and explorations.

I will not outline the book or address specific chapters, other reviewers have done an excellent job of that. I will say that the wisdom reflected in these pages, when applied within a relationship, will result in greater joy within the relationship. This is not a quick fix book (“Ten Steps to the Romance of Your Dreams!”) but neither is it a WORKBOOK. It is, instead, a way to deeply reframe expectations, responses, and our own availability within our relationships.

I will recommend this book to friends, those newly in relationships and those who have been happily together for years. I will recommend this book to students of Tantra, as a living illustration of bridging spiritual practice with relationship. I will especially recommend this book to those who are “slogging it out” in their relationship, and to those who council couples who are “slogging it out.”

I often found myself underlining sentences or paragraphs. I occasionally thought about various events in my own life, and how they may have turned out differently if I had applied this or that particular point of view. I wish I had read it years ago.

[Christina · Rating 5 out of 5]

*ARC provided in exchange for an honest review*

Partners In Passion is a comprehensive guide to increasing and maintaining intimacy within the bounds of long-term committed relationships. It provides a wealth of ideas for promoting communication and trust between partners, and the reasoning behind their use and success.

There are several things I found very interesting and enlightening about this book. I appreciate that not all of the relationships featured were heterosexual married couples. There were examples of same-sex couples as well as couples of varying ages, facilitating the discussion that as our bodies ages, our levels of intimacy evolve, both physically and mentally.

The authors offer examples from mild (dirty talk) to wild (swinging or BDSM) in order to spice things up. I see this as a great resource for a therapist or counselor to offer to clients, however if you were perusing your local bookstore, you might give it a pass. Included are several black and white diagrams of anatomy, both male and female, that while interesting, lead to a slightly textbook feel to the book, which is a shame because it is very informative.

From the new parents to the couple struggling with menopause or post-prostate surgery, this book could be an invaluable resource. Four and a half stars.

[Lori · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received a copy for free through Goodreads First Reads. The book was a lot more than I expected. The guide and the tips are very informative. It is a great read for couples looking to improve their relationship. I enjoyed the book and would recommend it to anyone looking for this type of guide. Thank you to the authors for their work and dedication in helping others in their long-term love relationships.

[Cj · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've recommended this book often to store customers since its recent release. It's a helpful place to start if you've never read any relationship or sex guide because it addresses so many areas, from anatomy to communication, from types of relationships to tantra traditions...It opens possibilities for people who feel like they're in a rut, and offers fresh ideas for already-adventurous folks as well. Mark and Patricia's collective voice is personable, knowledgeable and quite accessible, especially considering the breadth of information they provide. I also appreciated the real-life relationship examples that peppered the book, reminding us that connections evolve in such diverse ways and to honor all potential possibilities. This book is 4.5 stars in my view, only because I don't rate guides 5 stars. :-P

Bonus: It has one of the most comprehensive resource lists to consult when you're ready to continue expanding your sexual education!

[Cj · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a prominent book on our store shelves. I've recommended this book often since its recent release. It's a helpful place to start if you've never read any relationship or sex guide because it addresses so many areas, from anatomy to communication, from types of relationships to tantra traditions...It opens possibilities for people who feel like they're in a rut, and offers fresh ideas for already-adventurous folks as well. Mark and Patricia's collective voice is personable, knowledgeable and quite accessible, especially considering the breadth of information they provide. I also appreciated the real-life relationship examples that peppered the book, reminding us that connections evolve in such diverse ways and to honor all potential possibilities. This book is 4.5 stars in my view, only because I don't rate guides 5 stars.

Bonus: It has one of the most comprehensive resource lists to consult when you're ready to continue expanding your sexual education!

[R. L. · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is more like 3.5 stars.

I got this book as part of a goodreads giveaway (and is autographed!). I'm not normally one to read advice / self help books but I actually kind of enjoyed this one. I definitely think some things don't apply to me or I don't necessarily agree with but I suppose they have to reach a fairly mage group of people. There was clearly a lot of background research done and the author's certainly have a lot of first hand experience dealing with long lasting love in various forms. It was definitely an interesting read and I'm glad I read it. I'm also glad I have my own copy top refer to in any potentially trying times.

[Donald Powell · Rating 5 out of 5]

A good sex positive discussion of a myriad of areas of partnered relations. The research and notes are comprehensive. The writing is good and the use of input from experts and regular people kept it lively and fun. Every couple should read this book. The first couple of chapters are very pertinent to dating as well as existing committed relationships.

[Sam Rosenthal · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an amazing book. It's filled with great suggestions for keeping your relationship strong, and going deeper with the person you care for. Everyone who's thinking about being in a relationship should read this! Nice work; I can't wait to read Designer Relationships!

[Graeme Williams · Rating 5 out of 5]

Partners in Passion is a thoughtful, inclusive, and refreshingly grounded guide to building intimacy that lasts emotionally, erotically, and relationally. Rather than promising quick fixes or sensational techniques, Mark A. Michaels and Patricia Johnson focus on the deeper skills required to sustain long-term love: presence, communication, curiosity, and conscious choice.

What sets this book apart is its refusal to separate sex from emotional intimacy or commitment. Drawing on psychology, neuroscience, tantra, and decades of experience as teachers and partners, the authors frame intimacy as something cultivated over time rather than stumbled upon through chemistry alone. Their distinction between attraction and love is especially clarifying, offering readers a realistic and compassionate lens through which to understand their relationships.

The book’s structure is practical and engaging. Exercises, reflective prompts, and real-life interviews with diverse couples help translate theory into lived experience. The inclusive approach welcoming different orientations, relationship styles, and backgrounds makes the guidance feel expansive rather than prescriptive.

Above all, Partners in Passion is empowering. It invites couples to design their relationships intentionally, to stay erotically alive without sacrificing emotional safety, and to see intimacy as an evolving practice rather than a fixed achievement.

This is an excellent resource for couples at any stage from those seeking deeper connection to long-term partners wanting to rekindle passion with honesty and care.

[Ashton E. · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think this book is a great catch all for learning a lot of different ideas about sex - Interesting to learn about , but I think my take away would be the parts about honestly and eye gazing. It’s very vulnerable to stare at someone in the eyes for five minutes, I’ve heard of people leading that exercise before a TED talk before and think it’s an exercise I forget is really great for empathy and connection.

[Mali Apple · Rating 5 out of 5]

Married couple and neo-tantra teachers Mark A. Michaels and Patricia Johnson bring their knowledge and perspective to every aspect of long-term relating, from building sexual trust to adventuring together. Thoroughly researched, thoughtfully written, and filled with useful exercises. We’re including Partners in Passion in the resources section of our upcoming book, Wild Monogamy.

[Cab · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very well done. It feels very current, although it was written sometime ago. Very hetero and gendered yet has a lot of solid views.