Frosted: A Frosty the Snowman Erotic Parody

Demon Cream Chronicles #1

by Rebecca Massey, Adelyne Graves

Rule #1: Never try to summon a demon in a trash can.

Rule #2: Never get summoning instructions off the internet.

Rule #3: Don't sleep with Frosty the snowman no matter how sexy you think he is.

FROSTED is an erotic parody novella about Frosty the Snowman and a down on her luck witch who can't help but take Frosty for a ride.

Genres: Christmas, Novella, Erotica, Demons, Smut, Paranormal, Holiday

149 pages, Kindle Edition

Published February 1, 2024

About the author

Author also writes under Rebecca Massey

Reviews

[Kristina · Rating 4 out of 5]

Absolute and Complete Fuckery 🥕

Take note snowmen builders: this story contains an important lesson on why you should always make your snowmen anatomically correct. You never know when they will be possessed by a sex demon who can only return to his realm by ‘filling you with his jism’. No penis, no jism, then he’s stuck in the human realm forever (unless you are prepared to summon Satan). PUT DONGS ON YOUR SNOWMEN, FOLKS!

This was crazy and weird, but in a good way, because I like crazy and weird.
It says it’s a parody and it definitely is. The scenes from the snowman/demon’s POV were ridiculous. And at the end she has a three way with a demon and Satan, so that was interesting. Is it a three way if both demons have two cocks? Maybe that’s a five way? I’ll have to look it up.
Couple notes though: the name Lachlan is the least demon-y name I’ve ever heard of and this could use another pass by the proofreader. Lots of typos.

I’m giving this the same rating as I gave Pride and Prejudice because I think they are pretty much equal in literary value; both are canon to their genre.

This was whack-a-doodle and I highly recommend it if you want a wild ride into crazy town.

[Megan [At The Cottage] · Rating 4 out of 5]

MMF Erotica
Demon Snowman
3.5 Stars ⭐️


What do I even say about this book? It was ridiculous but in the best of ways. I’m rounding this up to 4 stars because of how much this made me laugh. I cackled reading this and my husband kept giving me that wtf look until he asked me what was so funny and then I laughed so hard I cried. He should know by now not to ask that question when I’m reading but I was so glad he did because I got to read these lines to him.

”I am not about to sit here and watch you eat an ice dick that I just fucked.”
&
“I can’t turn the horny off. I am the horny.”

This is a wild ride about a witch who attempts to summon a revenge demon to get back at her cheating ex boyfriend and instead gets a lust demon she accidentally puts into a snowman. Unfortunately for the lust demon, he’s in a snowman body with frog eyes, twigs for arms, a carrot nose and a scarf but no cock and his cock is required to send him back where he came from. The witchling brings him up to her apartment ball by ball and attempts to help him in all the ways. At some point Santa/Satan shows up and it becomes even kinkier.

I never would have read this had Kristina’s highlights worked but they didn’t and my curiosity drove me to pick up this train wreck. It doesn’t deserve 4 stars due to the typos and everything else but it made me laugh so hard it deserves a Christmas miracle. 🤣 I left my highlights on for your enjoyment.

[Peter Topside · Rating 3 out of 5]

So we have a witchling practice the wrong spell and summons Lachlan, the Demon of Lechery. He’s also been subjected to be inside the body of a snowman and brags about being proficient at grooming kitties. And by kitties, I am not referring to a pet. Are you all still with me? We are treated to some intense sexual encounters and even little page headings that have sopping wet carrots. But who needs a carrot when you can just mold an icy phallus? No, I did not make that up. As these two newfound lovers explore each other’s carnal desires, looking for new and innovative ways to bump uglies, we are treated to some downright hilarious conversations. Satan even makes an appearance and is quite frisky, engaging in some tail play. Witchcraft, lots of sex, and some really creative concepts, I now find myself becoming fully tumescent every time I eat an ice cube now.

[Sonia · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 Frosty-and-all-his-parts stars

For a short book, it surprisingly had nice world building.

And lots and lots of 🔥

Who’da thunk that Frosty was sooooo kiiiinky and plain diiiiirty 😉.

Combine him with Santa/Satan and uffff 😮‍💨.

Witchling/Raven just caught his fiance cheating on her with her best friend 😐, and now she wants to seek revenge for it. So she summons the revenge demon, except that’s not who shows up.

Nope. The demon that shows up is Lachlan, the demon of lechery. But he doesn’t come as his normal self.

He gets summoned as a Snowman 😅🫣. She should’ve used the right ingredients (and not the questionable tomato 🤣).

In order for him to go back, they have to… well… you know 😉… except… he’s missing parts 😅.

So they’ll have to be creative… and creative they are 🫣. Witchling is desperate to do right by Lachlan…

Even if she feels a little bit cold while doing it 🤣

What I liked/loved: possible spoilers
—trying to make Frosty a D 🤣

—the times I giggled 🤣. I felt bad for Lachlan. This demon’s used to being able to “perform”… and lacking the necessary appendage made it difficult for him 😅. Good thing he’s all about…

—pleasing her 🔥. I love me a selfless man/demon 💅 and Lachlan was allll about ensuring Witchling felt pleasure 😉 he’s the demon of lechery for a reason 🥵

—creativity points 👏🏻. The carrot, sticks, toys, snow-shaped 🍆, detachable snowman head… the list goes on 🤣 and these two were down to try anything 🤣

—Go get my D now 🤣. Not a dog having fun with its own icicle 🤡

—Satan came to play 👀. The MMF scenes were 🔥

—oh. Duh. The 🔥. There’s sooooo much of it

—the way Satan curses her ex 💅. Now he can’t find completion without ensuring his partner finishes first. All men need this 👏🏻

—the world building. I liked this

—Double Ds done right 👀. Both males had two of them, and they used them to their/her advantages 😉

What I didn’t like/wanted more of:
—length 😅

—a diagram picturing all the ways they 🔥 lol

—a better epilogue 😭. I get it. It’s erotica so an HEA is not required, but still 😭. It just ends.

—how experienced Lachlan is 😐. I get it. He’s the demon of lechery. But still 😑

Overall, this was a fun Xmas read 😉

⚠️safety squad⚠️
-no cheating/owd/omd
-sharing/MMF
-dirty talk/carrots and ice debauchery 😅/DP/DVP
-no condoms (they’re demons. It’s okay 🤣)
-um… HFN? I don’t know what to call this. They’re not in a relationship 😬. No real epilogue

[Poppy || Monster Lover · Rating 4 out of 5]

I absolutely love creative monster smut and this was a lot of fun!
Poor Lachlan was screwed over by our FMC’s shoddy spell-casting - which ended up requiring him to screw her. Her revenge was truly a dish best served cold.
Ok ok I’ll stop with the puns…
She was impulsive AF and so was Lachlan, which led to some creative sex-capades. The book was what it promised to be: a parody erotic retelling. I just can’t help wishing it would be expanded into a full blown romance someday.

Spice: 5/5

Triggers: cheating (off page, not by MCs), dismemberment of sapient snowman (not gory - don’t worry guys, low stress situation).

I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.

[Jai M {Cat Crazy Dragon } · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not entirely a ‘parody’, but definitely ridiculous and funny-punny.

Better humour than I expected for the first half, tapered off after that in favour of pure smut. 🤷‍♀️ Wished they coulda kept the blend going more.

Those last few scenes crossed into my ‘hell’ no 😳🤣 fantasy read.

I gotta confess, I would rather have had Belial feature, rather than Satan. I get the Santa-Satan joke, but it’s been done so much, whereas the other guy is something different, thus more freedom to play with the jokes.

Still a quick, ridiculous, fun read.
I’d enjoy more of their humour, but not sure if it would even out with the less enjoyable smut.

[Where was the wine during the summoning? 🥸, that would have helped 😂]
It’s Kristina’s fault all over again. 🤨

[Kimbot the Destroyer · Rating 3 out of 5]

The humor in this one works well for me.
Pretty good dirty talk, but he IS a lust demon after all.
So many incompetent witches in the world.

[Kate Elf]

This one wasn't for me until the last 3 chapters, but the last paragraph in particular.
This book helped me find out that I do have a line - and it's snowmen.
Is the parody part that it's cringey af and a really quite icky?

I read this with my bookclub and I don't think I would have finished were it not for them.

I expected more laughs but I got more

Ew

[IngeT (inge1970reads) · Rating 4 out of 5]

When I saw this novella I got curious and wanted to read it. This is my first story by this author.

'I suppose it all started with the snow. You see, it was a very special kind of snow. A snow that made the happy happier, and the giddy even giddier.'

This story was ridiculousy funny and spicy too.
A story about a witchling that wants revenge on her cheating ex. So she summons a revenge demon with a spell from the internet. Off course that goes wrong. Instead Lachlan, the Demon of Lechery, the Demon of lust manifests in a snowmen. For him to get back they have to do it. But how? He has no penis. Will they find a way?

'I can't turn off the horny, I am the horny.'

'The wind becomes more aggressive and I shiver from its cold bite. Fuck December. Fuck love. Fuck Christmas! I kick the trashcan and notice as one of the singed frog eyes rolls out of its depths, the one covered in poop.'

'A lump of snow falls from one of my balls and I stare down at it.'

4 ⭐️ @inge1970reads

[Paul Schmidt · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very creative plot!

[TJ · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was absolutely ridiculous and I loved every second of it

[Craig Thomson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very very funny.

[Monica · Rating 3 out of 5]

Strangely hot but pretty shallow.

[Lisa Bing · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a whacky, fun, ridiculous and steamy read, and I inhaled it ;D Lachlan was a lust demon that got summoned into a snowman by a revenge seeking witch...but she really wasn't looking for him and her revenge didn't come together as she anticipated. Obviously her skills were a bit lacking but both main characters were rather impulsive. The puns, humour and smut made for a page turner for me and I just found it so entertaining :D

[JordanReads · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was hilarious and unexpectedly charming (is that the right word?!). I’m not sure I’ll look at snowmen the same way again 😂

[Dani · Rating 5 out of 5]

Im not the best at writing reviews. I never feel like my thoughts translate well into sentences. However, for this book I knew I needed to add one!

This is such a fun book! It caught my attention from the beginning and kept my attention as it raced through a fun story of a woman hell bent on revenge and goes on a spicy adventure as a result of it!

The cast of characters is just amazing and quirky. I enjoyed the fun jokes and puns sprinkled throughout the book.

Read this book on a snowy, blah winter day, and you won't be disappointed!

[Barbara · Rating 4 out of 5]

A Frosty the Snowman Erotic Parody, a new story by Ms. Massey. Raven a witchling wants revenge on her ex and does a spell that goes very wrong. She ends up with Lachlan and Satan, a very smutty story that was fun to read. I received a copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.

[Callie Kakascik · Rating 3 out of 5]

This one was another okay read. It's another snowman smut book, but this one had demons, too! It had more humor and ridiculousness than the earlier one I read, but it wasn't bad.

We get a witch (terrible at spells) who tries to summon a revenge demon and ends up with a lust demon, who happens to be trapped as a snowman. And since she can't release him, we have to bring in Satan, errr Santa?

It was alright. It is a short comical holiday read, and that's about all I have to say about it.

[Vix · Rating 5 out of 5]

Festive naughty fun

This eas alot of fun and a wild read . I loved the ending Raven in the end got her revenge onbthe awful Josh in the best of ways and has naughty fun with some demons 😈

[Kerry Crabbs · Rating 3 out of 5]

Well that was freaking hilarious and actually kinda clever.

[Lady Indecisive · Rating 3 out of 5]

En verdad ni tan mal en comparación con el anterior del club del libro

[KylieAtkinson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is smut. Plain and simple. Once you get over the mechanics of getting it on with Frosty, it's erotica at its best. Once the third player enters the arena, it's game on!
When I first saw someone else review this, I thought that's just weird. Now I think that's just wild! The list of trigger warnings nearly runs a whole page so you know it's going to be good. 😂
I thoroughly enjoyed this short and sweet sexfest and even had quite a few laughs. It's a (Christmas) cracker of a read. ☃️🥕

[Thu · Rating 3 out of 5]

Lmao I'm dying. Why do I want a sequel?! The people want more Belial!

[Taylor Nasinec]

Just wanted to see what’s up

[Aleah · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a fun, smutty little read!

-MMF
Two demons, one witch 😈

Excuse me while I go summon Lachlan for myself…

[Jade Tilthelastchapter · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilarious AND sexy. I never saw snowmen that way before 🤣

[TC Rittenhouse · Rating 2 out of 5]

What the hell did I just read????

It's almost a month later and I am still shaking my head at this book. The last 3 or 4 chapters are the only things that saved this from being a 1 star book because I apparently have found my hard lines when it comes to this type of books. I can handle sentient pillows, balloon animals, and probably even the door story, but snowman with twigs for arms and frog eyes are my no go.

[Hoods · Rating 2 out of 5]

It is a super funny and enjoyable light read. It was a very quick read too. The last few chapters of the book was way better and I would definitely read another story based on a witch and a demon(s) by these authors.

[Kimberley Fairchild · Rating 3 out of 5]

3/5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️.☆ overall
3/5 🌶🌶🌶 spice
3/5 ☃️characters
2/5 📕📘plot

What to expect:
✨️ First person, dual POV
✨️ Strangers to lovers
✨️ Fast Burn, short story
✨️ Demons with two appendages, Snowmen and witches
✨️ Mfm
✨️ Spice/Kinks: snowman fornication, dp, sex involving food

I'm still not 100% sure what I just read but I think I liked it 😅🤔 Can't say I've ever read snowman smut before so it was definitely an experience.

The Plot:
Not much of a plot to be had here, but it's a short story and a solid little basis. Raven gets cheated on by her ex, so does what any self respecting wirch souls do and summons a demon for revenge. Only the spell goes awry and she summons the wrong demon who becomes trapped in the body of a snowman. The only way to free him? F[_]ck his soul out of the body of course! Buckle up, it's a wild ride 😅

The Characters:
Raven is our heroine an out of practice witch. She's decent enough as female leads go. Not super annoying and suprisingly on board with the sexual escapades.

Santa is actually satan? Yeah I'm kinda down for it actually and I'd probably also tap that so here we are.

Lachlan is the main male characters who spends a good portion of the book as a caddish sounding snowman. Once he's transformed tho? Yeah. Id also tap that.

The Spice:
Look, this is some creative writing to accommodate sexy time with a snowman 😅 I found myself strangly into it yet equally repulsed at the same time 😅🤔🤷‍♀️ Both demons have two dicks and aren't afraid to use them. Just read it.

Summary:
If your looking for a quirky, non serious, Fun little read then this book is for you.

[Holly · Rating 4 out of 5]

Downloaded this on a whim after listening to the Boobies & Noobies Boobsmas episode on it after being teased with it for a week or so... and even after listening to that, thinking I was prepared for some demon-sentient-snowman smut, I was not prepared. (And I don't mean that in a bad way at all.)

If you're looking for a plot, there is the thinnest of one, but it's mostly a vehicle for some weird-ass shit. Our FMC is an out of practice witch who wants to summon a revenge demon after catching her fiance and her (now) ex-best friend fucking. (If you thought I was going to censor myself, not gonna happen.) However, she's a little rusty, didn't really think it through, using a spell she found online, not ideal weather conditions, and substituting ingredients (a rotten tomato for nightshade? I can see where she was going with that) and instead of summoning a revenge demon, summons the demon of lechery... and accidentally puts him in the only vessel available - a snowman. The only way to get him out of the predicament? He needs to orgasm... so they bring Santa Satan in to help. (Apparently, a monk had a typo in the middle ages and it stuck and Satan does deliver all the toys to the children at Christmas but to make them all bratty and spoiled. I mean, I see it.)

This was definitely a smutty good time and I am here for it. I don't know if I'll download the other two books in the series, though I am intrigued, not gonna lie. 🤣