Drivel: Deliciously Bad Writing by Your Favorite Authors

by Julia Scott

The writing in this book is so bad, it deserves its own taxonomy of suckitude.

Gillian Flynn, Mary Roach, Dave Eggers, Rick Moody, Chuck Palahniuk, Amy Tan, A.J. Jacobs, Daniel Clowes, Jeff Greenwald, Po Bronson…the list goes on. They all sucked once, and they all have the guts to share some of their crappiest early work in an uplifting bit of voyeurism, based on the sold-out “Regreturature” stage shows in San Francisco, and brought to you by Litquake and the San Francisco Writers’ Grotto.

Within these pages you’ll find abstruse and esoteric poetry (bad); incoherent and illogical short stories (worse); bumfuzzling proto-journalism (shameful); and pretentious, overwrought journal entries (we’ll not speak of this again).

Thanks to these courageous but foolhardy writers, the world now knows the real meaning of a work-in-progress.

Genres: Nonfiction, Humor, Writing, Essays, Books About Books, Anthologies

208 pages, Paperback

First published September 2, 2014

Reviews

[Elyse Walters · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Drivel", Deliciously Bad Writing By Your Favorite Authors".....edited by Julia Scott,
was a fundraising project of San Francisco's Litquake literary festival and the Writers'
Grotto collective.
Dozens of contributors volunteered "to pluck their treasures from the bottom of a
Locked and moldy vault."

Mary Roach, author of "Stiff", "Spook", "Bonk", "Packing for Mars", "Gulp", shared about her job in her early twenties. One of the things she did was write about "Pet Tips" for the San Francisco Examiner.
The 'BAD' writing she submitted was called "Guppy Love".....( it was kinda cute)....
So, let's hear it for 'the guppies'.

Matthew Zapruder, graduate of Amherst College, is the author of four collections of poetry, most recently "Come On All You Ghosts", ( A New York Notable book of the year).

His BAD poem:

"Tissues"

You use
your friends
like tissues

people are
very definitely
fragile

you tear holes
in them

by
bringing them
very close
to your beautiful
face

and then
blowing
your
snot
all over them

you do this
over
and over
and over
again

you must
have
a
very
bad
cold

Dave Eggers submitted a BAD PAINTING. He thought it might be a good thing to shake things up in this book "Drivel". The painting was a nude woman and a clown...
It 'was' bad....( in a funny way)....but honestly... I think the guy just couldn't find any BAD writing he had done... ( so his painting made a bigger impression).


Fun Book. I got hooked reading it while in "The Santa Cruz Book Store", a few days ago...and since I wasn't done - and it was on sale for $5 -I bought the book before Paul and I left the bookshop.
Other contributors ...Po Bronson I admire the book he wrote "NurtureShock", New Thinking About Children"...( one of those books I've recommended dozens of times to young parents).
Gillian Flynn, Amy Tan, Ellen Sussman, Simon.... and the list goes on.....
They might have all sucked at writing --- really crappy early work---but "Drivel" is enjoyable voyeurism ...
Plus... It was fun to read each of the authors short background story...( their college days, first jobs, childhood memories, and passions ... such as with "Hello Kitty".

All in fun....( great fundraising project)!

[Tina]

This book is REALLY hard to rate. On one hand, it sucks, living up to its label and deserving merit for doing so. On the other hand, some of it . . . sucks. Many of the entries aren't humourous unless you're in on the joke. And to be so, you have to be an author yourself who used to be full of yourself and/or addicted to purple prose. There are some standouts here, though. My favourites are all found in the romance chapter. I don't think I've laughed that hard in ages when I read about the Irish girl losing her virginity. Seriously, if you don't read this entire book, read just that one.

[Peter McGinn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Warning: If you are not a writer, this review is probably not going to help you decide whether to obtain this book.

I have been a writer my entire adult life, but I have not achieved anything approaching the success of the authors in this anthology. For a long time I chased literary agents, submitted to magazines, went to writers conferences, and so on. When one agent showed a great interest in my young adult novel and worked with me through an entire rewrite of the book, only to say it didn't excite her in the end, I decided to just write and not worry about chasing financial success. (I am not bitter - in the process, she helped me turn it into a much better novel.)

Then Amazon came along, so like many unsuccessful writers, I started self-publishing via Kindle. Not in the hope of getting rich (though I wouldn't fight it if it happened), but rather to make it easier for the small cadre of fans who do like my writing to get hold of it.

The point is, I believe my writing is much better than it was when I started writing. When I reread my old stories, I cringe a bit. I mean, I see my style developing but I just wasn't there yet. So in reading the early efforts of the authors in Drivel, I see that much of it is worse than my old stories. Don't misunderstand me - I am not saying that it makes me a better writer. Their efforts were written when they were younger than I was when I published my early stories. Clearly they advanced farther and faster than I ever did, and found ways to move their writing careers through magazines, columns, or whatever it took to attract agents and become successful.

So when a struggling or developing writer reads these deliciously bad works by prominent authors, the message should be that they also have permission to write badly at times. I have known writers who have many portions of books languishing in a drawer (or in a hard drive). They loved planning it and telling me about them, and started them with enthusiasm, but after writing a few chapters the excitement waned as it failed to live up to their vision. So they filed them away and got excited about the next book. What they needed to do was push on, finish the book and then go back later and rewrite, rewrite. Many times when I am writing a first draft I know inside that it is crap and will need some serious rewriting, but then I break into a new section that just flows and writes itself.

So read these clunkers in Drivel and do whatever it takes to motivate yourself to keep writing. It will get better. Perhaps you will be like me and never experience publishing success, but neither will you ever lose your love of writing.

[Joel Kramer · Rating 2 out of 5]

I liked the idea of this more than I liked the execution. The cover promises bad writing "by your favorite authors", and there is a lot of bad writing here but it could really use more of our favorite authors. Each section gives a little biography of the writer and an introduction from them to the piece, and most of these are authors you've never heard of writing for things that you've also never heard of. While it's fun to see someone whose work you're familiar with write terribly, it doesn't land the same when it's a lot of people you don't know, because you have no grasp of their regular work to compare it to.

[Shirley · Rating 3 out of 5]

Originally 4/5 stars, but dropped to 3/5 because while I enjoyed a good portion of this book, some entries were so forgettable, that I hardly remember the majority even though one singular day has passed. This would make for a fun coffee table book, and I loved poking collective fun at some of my favorite authors, but some entries aren't even bad enough to be memorable or engaging. This is definitely an entry you can skim or pick out your favorite authors if you have an interest. To the collections credit, I did laugh out loud and cringe audibly more than once, which means this collection accomplished its goal in some way.

[Kimberly · Rating 2 out of 5]

I am so confused by this book. I didn’t like the writing, but I don’t think I was supposed to. I mean, it was all pretty bad, but that’s the point. It’s right there in the title. But to say that it is the worst? I don’t know. I definitely enjoyed the authors descriptions of their works and embarrassments. I’ve actually had this book for years and finally decided to read it. I found it at a dollar store and feel like that price tag is pretty accurate.

[Nicole Richwine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Finally, after 10,000 years I finished Drivel.
It's not bad, in fact it's excellent. I just got sidetracked.As for the pieces of writing featured? Those are horrible. They're not only fun to read and laugh at, they're also a look at how far their writers have come.

[lara phillips · Rating 3 out of 5]

even successful novelists wrote terrible juvenile poetry. fun short pieces to read on the bus.

[avery]

i know these are supposed to be bad but only a few have been funny-bad and i just am not very interested

[Mileena · Rating 4 out of 5]

Drivel
4/5 stars

I wasn't sure when I first picked this up, on what level I would love it. I am an aspiring writer and so I like reading books on the subject, but they're usually dull or just the same as the others. But this one was so fun.

Sure this is a book of "bad writing" but I liked that you could see the potential in almost everyone's submissions. Plus the sentiment that goes into being a writer. These people actually kept their old writing and saved it, cause even if they improved that's still them. Plus I love reading short story collections, especially those where the author talks about the story behind them.

I also find myself actually enjoying some of the pieces. Maybe that says something about my taste, I don't know. Some of them admittedly were as the book advertises horrible slash offensive.

But I actually had a lot of fun reading it, plowed through more than half of it in a day, and I found it at a local dollar store so I like save 15 bucks on it.

[Mark Meneses · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was very conflicted about how I should rate a compilation of 'bad' writing. I think a 'bad' rating is appropriate for 'bad' writing, no? Or maybe a good rating? (The contents did live up to the name of the book, after all.) Then again, I could be conflicted because a couple of the excerpts within the collection were, like, not actually 'bad' to me. Could be improved, sure, but not 'drivel' per se.

I don't know. Either way, I learned something here: we all definitely have to keep practicing.

Also, Chuck Palahniuk was just showing off here.

[Elizabeth · Rating 3 out of 5]

The title of this book is false advertising - much of the writing is not that bad! Some of it is, though, and that's super fun to read. Each selection has a brief intro from the author accompanied by a photo from the time of the writing which is also fun. As an especially poor judge of poetry, I just didn't see what was so bad about some of it. This is definitely worth a read, especially if a favorite author is featured.

[Periodic · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think the main reason that I liked Drivel so much, was because it made me realize that we all have to start writing somewhere. The short snippets of life before (sometimes during or after) writers become actual authors was really interesting to me.
My favorite blurb is probably 10-year-old Chuck Palahniuk's letter to Pol Pot.

This book is hysterical, and I'm now searching around the Internet for terrible things that my other favorite authors have written.

[Catarina · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good book for reading in small bits, I read half of it during a roadtrip with friends because you don't need so much focus. The best parts were the writer's introductions to their own bad writing and few of the bad writing made me laugh out loud, but many were just..bad. Makes you want to dig out some of your own "jewels" from the drawer....and burn them before anybody puts their hands on it.

[Kelsey · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a writer, I found this book both hilarious and inspiring. It's nice to know not everything talented writers produce is gold.

[Jennifer Gardea · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's a fun read!!

[Chris · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was fun. Some of the writings were truly horrid, but some weren't half bad, actually. It's nice to know that even great writers have their low moments.

[Marie · Rating 3 out of 5]

A fun read, especially if you are embroiled in your own tussle with the written word and need a little company.

[Kaethe]

It's not like they lied, or I was deceived in any way. It's just that I mostly don't want to deliberately read bad writing, even if it is good for a giggle.

Library copy

[David · Rating 3 out of 5]

Oh yeah, it sure lived up to its name! As many folks have mentioned, it's really hard to rate a book showcasing bad writing. :-)

[Jessica · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some were funny.

[Selena · Rating 1 out of 5]

I couldn't even get past the first sentence.