Dancing on the edge of sanity

by Ana Clare Rouds

Genres: Nonfiction

304 pages, Mass Market Paperback

First published January 1, 2013

Reviews

[Chantel · Rating 2 out of 5]

The author, after reading a Goodreads review that I posted for Brooke Shields' memoir Down Came the Rain, offered an Advance Reader Copy of her memoir Dancing on the Edge of Sanity to me. I read Brooke Shields' memoir because I suffer with depression and feared that postpartum depression might impact me some day. To be honest, since reading Down Came the Rain I had pregnancies that didn't result in my bringing home a bundle of joy. Therefore, I wasn't sure that I wanted to subject myself to a book about depression or a baby. Nevertheless, it was described as being "told with her trademark warmth and humor" and I was honored to be offered an Advanced Reader Copy so I said, "yes," to the offer.

Ana Clare Rouds' memoir Dancing On the Edge of Sanity will be available on May 1, 2014. I reviewed a February 2014 edition. I give that edition only two stars but am confident that future editions with editing would merit a higher star rating. I do not know the author or her family and I am providing an independent review. I thought I would read it in the evening prior to going to bed. Once I began reading the book, I didn't put it down. I had to know what happened to her and I stayed up until the wee hours of the morning reading. Including time for a nap, I finished it within 12 hours.

For the most part the memoir was a smooth read and a great first book. Some minor word or sentence structure changes would benefit the book but I'm sure those will be taken care of in future edits. Rouds family is familiar to her but at times the names and relationships of all of the people were a bit hard to keep straight. I wanted reminders when a name showed up again after not being mentioned for many pages or chapters again, most likely something to be corrected in final editing.

It is difficult to attract readers to a story about depression because most want a pleasant escape and not a book which might bring them down. I did cry in some situations but I also caught myself chuckling at the hilarity surrounding the birth of Rouds' baby and most enjoyed her description of sounds and positions during labor. The book was regarding a difficult topic and it would be hard to find places to add humor but I did find myself wishing for some more to bring the book to a greater balance of emotions. The author deals with her life-altering situations with humor and a quick jab of acerbic wit and it shines through in her writing.

Containing excerpts from her private diary, Rouds narrative is very introspective and personifies her fragility during a personally confusing time. The author did a great job with flow, structure and transitions. The book reads like a personal story told to me over a cup of coffee which has gone cold because I can't take my attention away from the story to take a drink. I was scared for her, angry for her and disgusted at the people who misunderstood postpartum depression and how to help or care for a person suffering from it.

Rouds' heart-wrenching ordeal was a page turner for me and I feel she brought the events through to a conclusion and hope it brought the author to closure too.

[Marisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was sent to me by the author for an honest review.
This book made me laugh, cry and feel every emotion in between. When Ana gives birth to john she starts to feel very anxious and is not sleeping. When starts to get images of bad things happening to her son she ends up going to the ED. Ana just wants to sleep, but she ends up in a mental institution instead. She does not belong that and that does get acknowledged, but not until she has been there 24 hours. Ana goes home and with the support of her husband and other family members is able to get help and makes a recovery.
I don't want to say I enjoyed the story because it is sad, but it was a well written book told with honesty and humor. Ana tells her story and does not spare the details.

[Erin · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the memoir of a woman that suffered from postpartum depression after the birth of her son. I was diagnosed with postpartum depression after my third failed IVF cycle and definitely felt that no one really understood how I felt. I read Brooke Shield's autobiography about her pp depression, but it definitely was not the greatest book. I am interested to read the memoir of a normal woman and how she handled her emotions and thoughts.

This was a well done memoir about Ana's struggle with being a new mom and with having PPD. It was definitely a challenge to read because I never want to feel like that again. It definitely brought back my memories from when I had PPD.

[Kathy Morelli · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this book! It is well written and brutally honest. The author tells us what it's like to confront how the transition to motherhood: the hormonal shifts, the emotional shifts, the lack of sleep all come together to bring on a deep postpartum depression. She's a "normal" middle class professional woman who had successfully dealt with anxiety and depression all of her her life and after birth, she experiences PPD, which is a quite expected occurrence for someone who has had a previous depression in her lifetime. Her story is sad and disturbing as I think it could've been prevented or mitigated by the recognition that women need rest and support after giving birth. She recovers by using medication and when her family rallies around her, after her emotional crisis. The addition of a baby to the family is a big adjustment for all concerned. She and her husband, with the help of extended family, grow into a parenting pair. Luckily for the author, the insight and swift action of her midwife, who recognizes her plight, correctly sends her to the hospital for care that she appropriately needs. But the author's (thankfully, short) stay in a psychiatric hospital is an eye-opening look into the true mess that is America's psychiatric mental health care. The total lack of clean adequate facilities and superficial group care is appalling. She describes the facility as "musty and disgusting" and the bathrooms as "dirty." As a mental health professional, it makes me angry that we spend more money on healthcare than any country in the world and this is the shabby care we provide.

But back to the theme of psychiatric care of the specific niche of perinatal mood disorders. The place the author describes is nothing like the facility developed for postpartum women at the University of North Carolina Chapel Hill. It's shocking get the psychiatrist (a woman!) knows so little about breastfeeding and depression medication. Again, as I and many others have said before, How many times must we ask for sensitive care?
https://www.med.unc.edu/psych/wmd/pat...

The author's story has a positive ending, with healing enacted, but why does this sad story keep being played over and over again?

Great boo, well written. Read it of you care about women's issues!

[Serenity Bohon · Rating 4 out of 5]

Intense, honest, very well-written book on the dark and scary emotions that often, unfortunately, go hand-in-hand with new motherhood. The author includes real and helpful diagnostic information to complement the story that will be all-too-familiar to anyone whose been through the baby blues or postpartum depression. The thing I kept wondering as I read the book, relating to so many of its detailed emotions and family interactions following birth, is when do you suggest a story like this to someone? It is so difficult to prepare new mothers for this experience. You don't want to terrify them, and you always, always hope that a new mother actually won't face it at all. This author provides such a thorough version of the emotions from their dark beginning to their bright and hopeful exit, I almost want to recommend a new mother read the book backwards, to immediately receive the comfort from knowing this difficult season will pass. Certainly, anyone who can relate to mental anxiety of any kind will find familiarity in this story and be refreshed by the reminder that none of us are alone, there is help to be found, and our darkest moments are rarely the end of the story.

[Ashleycarolhall O'Toole · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think that postpartum is scary for any woman. But when you plan for the perfect birth and the perfect life after having your baby, well sometimes we are not prepared for the unexpected. Ana's story was so interesting to read. I think that postpartum was (and still kind of is) a taboo topic which harmed all women who were preparing for such a big chance as welcoming a child. Pregnancy and birth can be so wonderful and scary, even when things go as planned. Poor Ana felt and thought things that many new mothers and pregnant women felt/thought. It must be horrible to have too many opinions thrown at a new mother and still being unsure of what PPD is!
I am glad that Ana came out on top and that she is sharing her story so that others may have comfort in knowing that this is not a taboo subject.

[Tori · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm really glad that the author included the section at the end explaining more about postpartum OCD or postpartum anxiety. I had never heard of a distinction between that and postpartum depression. I with that section was even longer. If she hasn't already, I would love to see the author write some articles on that section weaving in her personal story. I think articles could bring awareness to a much larger audience. I frequently buy the related book when I read a good article, and articles could reach a lot more people. I felt like the author was very honest here, and I appreciate that she shared this painful information. I am sure it will help others.

[Kylene Jones · Rating 3 out of 5]

I got this book from the author after she saw I read another similar book. I liked the honesty in this book but I couldn't help but feel that instead of this person suffering from depression, she was suffering from what most of us new moms feel- overwhelmed, over tired, scared, confused. She had terrible support when she first came home from the hospital and I would have loved to hit her husband for being such a turd. I felt bad that she had to go through so much hell due to lack of support from the people around her after her baby was born.

[Denise · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was sent to me by the author. I really enjoyed this true story about the author's experience with postpartum depression. I identified a lot with the feelings and thoughts she had, and I couldn't believe what happened to her when she sought help at her local hospital. It is crazy how misunderstood she was, and the awful things she went through. I also couldn't put this book down, because I had to see what in the world was going to happen next! Luckily, it all ends well, and I think she is a stronger person because of her experience.

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I can't even imagine going through what the author went through after having her baby, my heart hurt for her while reading this book. I've read a couple of books dealing with PPD and am so fortunate to have not had it myself, it's not something I'd wish on anyone. I feel the author did a very god job of describing this misunderstood condition and really giving insight into how much anguish and helplessness she felt.

[Jessica Hollo · Rating 3 out of 5]

Note: This book was provided to me by the author.
Overall, an illuminating book about the post partum experience. Bringing a baby home is hard, and is good to hear from someone like us. Recommended if youth are experiencing this, or are concerned about it.

[Erin · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wanted, really WANTED to love this book. As someone who suffered from severe PPA after my first son I could relate to much of it. However I was severely and irreversibly turned off by the author’s shocking attitude toward the other patients within the mental hospital she gets admitted to.
She nicknames the other patients, who obviously cannot control their condition any more than the author can, insulting names such as “Drool Face”. And then uses these terms repeatedly throughout the book. She also makes fun of staff, describing them by their appearance in a derogatory manner, and nicknaming them things such as “Crooked Teeth” and “Plumpy”.
At one point the author addresses her mother’s experience of divorcing her own husband and “coming out”/ coming to terms with the fact she was a lesbian. Rather than seem sympathetic toward how difficult this must have been for her middle aged mother emotionally, she appears to take it personally as an infringement on her own comfort level.
And finally, she places nothing but blame on all medical personnel that helped her. No one is perfect, and certainly the staff at the mental hospital was probably not trained to appropriately handle a postpartum woman. However they were doing their best and following necessary regulations.
Overall the book was well written but I cannot get past the extremely judgmental tone of the author.

[Nick · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is hard for me to review. As a mom who struggled with PPD and Anxiety. And still struggles with anxiety, Ana's story spoke straight to my heart. But, so many times I wanted to shake the people in the book and couldn't. I still can't imagine being kept from my baby for so long! I would have walked home. Found a way. But, that is me and not her. It breaks my heart to think of her and many others who are greatly misunderstood. I am glad she put effort to get the story out there. Hopefully healthcare providers will continue educating themselves on this horrible subject. It is so hard to articulate the feelings you are having when your are at your lowest point. It sounds all weird and wrong when trying to explain to someone. Thank God, my mom recognized my bad attitude and mood and told me I should call my OB. I also had a screening at the pediatrician office at 4 days old and again 2 weeks. Our insurance co at the time also had a nurse calling to check on me. The other thing I wish I had taken advantage of more is the local pregnancy and postpartum resource group of Kansas. Anyway, didn't mean to make this about me. I do wish she had told a little more of how she finally got happy/ balanced out again maybe a few more chapters on her downhill journey. It took me a long long time and her book left me feeling like it was all better fairly quickly. Either way, good for her. I'm so happy to hear when moms take a turn for the better. Hormones, lack of sleep and breastfeeding are major issues for a new mom. Unfortunately, it really wasn't a pleasant and healthy time for many of us. I will recommend this book to other moms/doctors and therapists I know. Just for the pure fact that Ana talks about some of the new terms regarding ppd. Like the OCD category: first I had heard of it. Go Ana !! () and thanks for telling your sad story. P.S. your husband is very lucky to have you. He is kinda a jerk. Sorry. I know you hate others to talk badly about your love.

[Kathy Striano-Preece · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author contacted me and asked me if I would like a copy of her book. I was very honored yo read it!

Having a baby is one of the biggest life changes you can ever have. As a new mom, I didn't know If I had postpartum depression or if I just wasn't meant to be a mom. Six years later, it still haunts me as one of the worst times of my life. Reading this book, made me cry a few times remembering how horrible it was.

The author described having hypersensitivity to sound, which I experienced too, but did not realize was part of postpartum depression. The only way I can describe it was when I heard my daughter cry it was like electrical impulses were going through me. It was nice to read that someone else had the same symptom.

I was really lucky that the anti-depression medication worked well with me and I felt back to myself after about 2 weeks taking it. I have no doubt that I would have ended up like Rounds if it didn't.

Thanks to the author for her honest memoir. We need women to not be afraid and talk to people after having a baby so they can get the help they need.

[Angie crosby · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was sent a copy of this book to review.

I suffered PPD after the birth of my son. It was the worst time in my life. That made this book hard to read, simply because of the reminder. This was a good book, though I did have some trouble keeping all of the names straight.

[Courtney Novak · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a fantastic book that dives into one woman's journey through Postpartum Depression and anxiety. Practitioners should read this to learn about the nuances of maternal mood disorders and how to effectively treat a suffering mom. Other moms should read to learn that they are not alone.

[Sharon · Rating 4 out of 5]

An interesting book with a lot of honesty. The author goes into a lot excruciating detail about her postpartum experience. A common theme is how the lack of sleep affected her emotionally.