La scelta di Jonah

Love Is Love #1

by Andi Jaxon, Monica Lombardi (Translator)

Mi chiamo Jonah Cohen e la mia vita è un inferno.

Lo è diventata da quando mio padre, pastore della First Baptist, ha accettato un trasferimento da Seattle a una cittadina del Kentucky, in piena Bible Belt.

Tutto ciò che mi hanno insegnato urla a gran voce che sono sbagliato. E, come se questo non bastasse, ora c’è anche lui: Roman King, il quarterback, la stella della squadra di football, venerato da tutta la città.

Fin dal primo giorno di scuola Roman mi ha preso di mira e ha dato il via a un gioco perverso e pericoloso a cui ho deciso di partecipare. E nessuno di noi due sembra intenzionato a farlo finire.

Roman è diventato la mia droga e per lui, ora, potrei attraversare persino le fiamme dell’inferno.

Ma se qualcuno dovesse scoprire il nostro segreto sarebbe la nostra fine.

Posso correre questo rischio?

Vale la pena perdere tutto, forse anche la vita, per Roman King?

Genres: M M Romance, Enemies To Lovers, Romance, High School, Sports, LGBT, Dark

384 pages, Kindle Edition

First published October 15, 2020

About the author

From Dyslexic kid with a love of Algebra to a published author, no one is more surprised to find me here, than I am. I love to write about tortured pasts and hot sex, a happily ever after that has to be worked for. My stories tend to be a little dark but with some comic relief, typically in the form of sarcasm.

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Reviews

[Candy M. · Rating 4 out of 5]

⭐ 3.8 "This book really went and brainwashed me, uh" stars ⭐

After all the negative reviews I’ve seen for this book, I went in with expectations that were frankly in the negatives.

Yet here I am now, honestly surprised by just how much sheer entertainment I experienced. It put me through a roller coaster of feelings, made me question my morals, and had me crying enough tears to create an artificial river of my own concoction.


But catch me dodging all of those terrible emotions and still having a messed-up version of fun.

*******************************

WARNING: This review discusses sensitive topics, such as abuse, dubious consent, and overall messy behavior. The relationship in this book was the opposite of goals, so my advice is to keep that in mind and take it as more of an exploration of two twisted characters rather than a regular romance.

*******************************

But with that out of the way...

Hear me out.

I can't even separate this review into positives and negatives, not when a large part of what others might view as deterrents just added to my overall experience, so instead I’ll just address the parts that stood out to me the most and go from there.

Commencing with…

—The Couple. And their very questionable approach to "romance".

I put it in quotation because while this ended up developing into a proper romantic entanglement, it very much started as a case of harassment and very dubious consent. I found myself loving it in a fictional setting, because I have a weakness for delving into the psyche of fucked up individuals.

But in real life? You bet your ass I would be advising Jonah to run for the hills.

This pairing was literally “unbalanced power dynamics 101”. Roman, with his deep-rooted fear of being outed and a slave to the Jock persona he slipped into, and then Jonah , the son of a bigoted preacher who was filled with so much self-hatred that it meant he was the only one equipped to deal with Roman’s problematic ass in the first place.

Their relationship started with the wrong foot from the very beginning, where we see Roman choosing to date Jonah’s sister to get a rise out of him, only to then proceed to use her as a pawn in order to blackmail the other guy into an illicit affair. All the while he kept up the façade of publicly disliking “Bible Boy” (a nickname he used for Jonah) and enabling his teammates to bully the poor sap. So not only was the consent pretty questionable when it came to this couple’s origin, but the bullying the title implies was graphically shown. No punches spared.

Yet for me the truth was, toxicity and all, that these two sorta made sense. Roman was a sadistic fuck with anger issues and a myriad of insecurities, and Jonah was the masochist who was willing to take all that he offered and ask for seconds.

So, in conclusion...

Roman:


Jonah:

This couple was a match made in hell. And, keeping in mind this is fictional, I was highly entertained by them.


—The (Bully) MC Roman King.

(And yes, his name is corny, but this is a bully romance so let’s lower name related expectations)

Oh, Roman, Roman, Roman. Damn you and all the conflicted feelings you awoke in me.

In Jonah's own words:

“Reading Roman is like trying to read ancient Greek when you don’t know the alphabet.”

On one hand, I loathed his demeanor, his cowardice, and the cycle of abuse he kept perpetuating. He was a lost little kid in the body of a grown footballer, the kind of man who lashed out like a cornered animal and was not ready to grasp the consequences of his actions.

Facing parental abuse (which is also pretty explicitly depicted, heads up), the hatred and damage he suffered at his father’s hands left prominent scars both in his psyche and body. And his worst nightmare, becoming a mirror image of the monster that awaited him at home, hovered like a shadow just around the corners. To be completely honest, his POV and actions were incredibly hard to stomach at times.

Because in simple terms, Roman was the type of protagonist who would be a villain in any other story.

The way he saw the world and his flawed logic, however, still made for a captivating read.

Those brilliant blue eyes meet mine, anger and pain swirling in the depths of the boy I love with every fiber of my being.
“It feels good now, doesn’t it? After the pain, it’s fucking magic.”

(And yes, that quote might or might not be direct from a sex scene)


My mood while reading the mess that was Roman King.

But then again, a few chapters later he would pull up his own version of nice all of a sudden, and that’s when I started to feel myself being brainwashed. Just as Jonah couldn't quit his liaison with the asshole, I started warming up to the guy and actually ended up even rooting for him against my better judgment.

Roman's version of flowers and cotton candy:

“These fuckwits are going to regret coming after us. If they so much as hurt a hair on Jonah’s head, I will murder them with no remorse. My conscience will be clear.”

Another classic:

“I don’t need to see him to know he’s picking at his fingers, his shoulders slumped, damn near in tears. I hate that fucker too. No one hurts Jonah but me.”

And they say romance is dead? Clearly, they haven't met this guy 😍
[sarcasm detected]

So yes, he was a piece of garbage. Yes, he had character development later on but that still doesn't justify his terrible actions. And yet, I was this fictional man’s whore all the same.

Basically…

Roman: *Displays his poisonous brand of protectiveness*

Jonah and me:



—THE BRAINWASHING.

Just as this book depicted Jonah becoming addicted to an unhealthy relationship with a man who treated him like dirt (at least for a large chunk of the book), I also found myself slowly being conditioned to support them as a pair.

I was suddenly all for this awful and completely unbalanced dynamic, and then stepping out from the book and going…


But not to worry, I only needed to read a few more pages before the brainwashing was kicking in again.

I was horrified, appalled, disgusted, and slightly concerned for my moral fiber. But also, in a way, I couldn't help but hold out that sliver of hope just like Jonah did.

Quoted for the context of just how messed up their dynamic was:

“Roman showing care makes me uncomfortable. I never know how long it’ll last or when he’ll decide it’s enough.”

(I’m dialing 911 as I type this)

But then you'd get to Roman’s chapters and you’d be confronted by lines that gave a framework for his behavior, all while showcasing the kind of love he had been conditioned to think of as normal:

“Dad is smiling now. The little boy inside me that’s always wanted his dad to love him brightens at the attention. That little boy loves his daddy. He just wants to make Daddy proud.
“I’m proud of you.”
I hate that little boy.”

Which again, did not mean his trauma excused any of his deeds or his treatment towards Jonah. But moments like those went a long way of explaining how Roman’s many flaws came to be. Ultimately, it's what turned him from a caricature of a bully into a fleshed-out individual.

It was with that understanding that moments like the one below hit me like a wall of bricks:

“Roman leans his forehead against mine, his eyes meeting me. “Think you could ever love me?”
Taking a deep breath, my heart breaks at the uncertainty in his voice. When he’s arrogant, cocky, an asshole, it’s hard to remember that he’s vulnerable too.”

And I was so thoroughly conditioned by that point that my idiotic ass couldn't help but cheer for these nutjobs. Even while the once victim of abuse that was Roman had started to shift into a monster and perpetrator himself, part of me still wanted to wrap him in a hug and encourage him to better himself.

(But maybe while carrying pepper spray just in case. And with an emergency line on speed dial.)


How I felt when I realized I had started to love this fictional asshole. The author pulled some voodoo magic on me, I’m telling you.


*******************************

So, overall…

Don’t get me wrong, this was obviously not a perfect book (the way some side characters were handled, namely Jonah’s sister Mary, felt a bit incongruous, as well as some of the events being a little too OTT to be fully plausible). So truthfully, I do understand where all those negative reviews come from, even if I personally enjoyed the story.

Plus, the nature of the romance alone already turns this into a hard to recommend story… unless you’re someone with a penchant for morbidity like me, and the idea of reading a relationship progressing from harassment into an approximation of codependent love sounds appealing. Because if that’s the case, I would absolutely encourage you to try it.

(Just make sure to tuck your suspension of disbelief away, and get ready for the melodrama of a lifetime).

Besides, I did say this book managed to make me love Roman, one of the most messed up and “unlikeable” characters I’ve read lately...

So for that feat alone, rating it any lower wouldn’t feel fair.


********************************

Now, to give you all an approximation of what you will be walking into...

Keywords (and trigger warnings) to decide if this might be the book for you:

Bully romance (duh). Dubious consent… as in bordering on nonexistent at times. Toxicity for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. The most Asshole Hero to Ever Asshole (Roman) and the Masochist Boy Who Loves Him (Jonah). Religious Hypocrisy. Extreme instances of homophobia. And a hate crime depicted on-page. Self-hatred and the path to self-acceptance. Tender moments to ease the pain a little. Domestic and parental abuse, also on-page. A few side characters to keep your fate in humanity intact. OTT melodrama and a sea of angst too. Will probably make you question your morality. Pretty hot smut (of the fucked up variety). And a HEA that wasn’t all rainbows and sparkles, but I still thought was extremely fitting and on-brand for these characters.

As one last PSA…


✨And although fiction might depict reality, liking it doesn't mean we condone it✨

[Just Another Perfectionist · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF at Chapter 8.

I was pretty excited for "Bully King", the blurb caught my attention so I decided to give the book a go, but to the point I could stomach reading & the more the risk of breaking something in anger increased, I can only describe the story/writing as VERY problematic and it's not even because of the "bully" part.
The writing at its core was pretty repetitive, yet another book that treats readers like they have Dory's memory. There's absolutely no need to remind your readers about things that just happened 5 mins ago. Let alone repeat about it 5 times.

The charaters for context: Jonah (the preacher's son), Mary (Jonah's 15 year-old sister), Roman (The "bully", star-quarterback of town that gets away with ANYTHING blah, blah). *Jonah & Roman are both 17, almost 18 years old.*

Something that's pretty important for a "bully romance" is well, the "bully" aspect & how it was introduced/used, so I feel like I should mention this first before diving into what was just so messed up:
The bully part was absolutely rushed, off the bat Roman is immediately hostile with Jonah because he bumped into him on his first day of school. The bigger reason why Roman bullies him is because he doesn't want to acknowledge he's not straight & because his dad is abusive.
And Jonah... for some reason he's kinda fine with Roman being a bully the second time he shoves him into the lockers-> he get's *excited* & tells us how amazing Roman smells. Priorities.
You'd think he would be more careful not to piss off the a-hole or stay out of his way. But nah.

"Somehow, my entire world revolves around the boy snarling in my face. I can’t look away, even though I’m sure I’m about to get pummeled."

3 chapters in Jonah talks about how he can see himself falling in love with Roman, when we saw nothing of R to suggest he's even 1% appealing.

All he is, is hot.
And abusive.

And.... PREDATORY.


I just can't look past the fact Roman went for Mary, a 15-year old, and nobody (not Jonah, not his pastor father, not Roman himself) acknowledged this is not okay, that she shouldn't be dating someone that age. *age of consent anyone?!*

It all begins with Roman asking Mary out on a date in front of Jonah to "fuck with him".
The pastor father somehow agrees to let his 15 year old daughter go on a date with an older dude under the condition Jonah goes with them so Mary doesn't "give in to the sins of the flesh”.
THAT MAN DIDN'T EVEN QUESTION HOW OLD ROMAN IS. Who does that.

Mary whines her dad is making her brother come with them.
“That’s ridiculous! If Jonah had a date, you wouldn’t make me go! It’s not fair!”
Like sorry, but you're 15, he's 17 & a fucking player. Jonah is 17, ofc there would be a difference in how they allow ya to date. ffs



We then have Jonah admitting this:

Roman slammed me into the lockers, I spent most of the morning thinking about his lips, Mary and I got into a little spat in the cafeteria, and the rest of the day, I spent trying not to picture him finger-banging her.

Excuse me, you're actually saying you were almost imagining your 15 year-old SISTER getting fingered by your bully? Just wtf.



Mary is supposed to be Jonah's best friend in this yet she's an absolute insufferable brat that refuses to believe him when he tells her "her crush" is an abuser & that he attacked him for no reason on his first day.

“Why do I have to be the one to give in? He’s nice to me. He helps me in class.” She folds her arms under her chest, standing her ground.
“You’ve only known him a few days!”
“So have you, yet you’re so sure you’re right.”
“He attacked me for no reason!” I holler, throwing my arms up. How is she not understanding?
“I have a hard time believing that. Whatever. Just make sure you give us space on the date, okay?”

So, she's willing to back up a man she just met because HE'S HOT & MAKING EYES AT HER instead of listening to her "best friend", that's actually her family & has been there her whole life?

Not only is she refusing to trust Jonah, saying he MUST HAVE DONE SOMETHING TO DESERVE the locker shoving on his first day. She actually stays quiet when Roman dumps water on Jonah in the middle of the cafeteria & still goes on that date with him.
Any decent person would cancel seeing how he treating HER OWN FLESH & BLOOD; or at least would tell him to stop acting like a dick. Guess she's just too horny.



Roman is not only not admitting he shouldn't be around someone that young, he's actually giddy to "corrupt" her.
“Stay away from me and stay away from my sister.”
“Mary will be a tasty treat that I enjoy corrupting.”

For their first date he takes 15-year old Mary to an after game party, where:
"The crowd here is a mix of high schoolers and postgraduates, most of the older people being men in their early twenties looking for drunk high school chicks to fuck. To each their own."
So casual about predators/pedos showing up on a highschool party & trying to sleep with underage girls. I wonder why. Maybe because he's on the road to becoming one too.



“We’re already here. We may as well hang out for a while.” Mary’s eyes don’t leave the cheerleaders, now straddling the guys and grinding against them with their lips locked.
Interesting.
Sweet little Mary is a dirty girl after all.
A predatory smile takes over my face. The want to ruin her is too strong.

Predatory, ya say? Ha. So on point.

Next up, he sets his "ruining Mary plan" into montion by giving her her first kiss in front of Jonah. (a make-out session really):

I can feel his eyes on me. He’s watching my every fucking move. My eyes open, locking on the furious hazel gaze of Jonah Cohen. With his eyes on me, my dick hardens. I move my hand to grip Mary’s hair, changing the angel of the kiss until she moans against me.
...
Fire ignites in his eyes the deeper I take my kiss with Mary, but it’s not anger.
What is it?
Dragging my gaze down his body, my eyes stop at his dick pressed against his pants.
Well, well, well.
What do we have here?
I release Mary’s lips and trail kisses up her jaw to her neck. My focus solely on Jonah, I’m betting I could count his heartbeats by the throb of the vein in his forehead. When my teeth graze Mary’s neck, his dick twitches. A wicked smile turns up my lips. Very interesting.

Yes, you read that right: Jonah literally got aroused by Roman making out with his OWN 15-YEAR OLD SISTER.



This just crosses a line. If Roman was using some random, same age girl to get under Jonah's skin, it'd be whatever. But he's making out with a 15-year old while her own brother gets aroused by it. Fuck no.

Predatory behaviour isn't something to brush over or lust after, let alone basically normalize. Fiction or not. This is fucked up.

Needless to say, I don't recommend this book.

[nark · Rating 1 out of 5]

dnf @ 20%. this was absolutely terrible and i refuse to keep reading this shit lmao

[Renae Reads · Rating 5 out of 5]

This novel was an amazing and thought-provoking read. I feel in love with the two main characters, Jonah and Roman. Their instant chemistry captured my attention alongside the natural progression of their relationship.

This novel tackled so many crucial topics that apply to ignorance and abuse, which were delicately explored. Bully King explores the powerful connection between two characters that despite their different background and experiences are drawn to one another.

The new kid, Jonah, moves to a small town where he is instantly bullied for appearing “different. “ Jonah cannot be his authentic self, which offers its own specific challenges because he is the preacher's son. Roman is the town superstar quarterback, who is suffering from domestic abuse. Both of these characters have their own demons to battle and their shared trauma makes them inexplicably drawn to one another.

This author was able to brilliantly capture the intense feelings of loneliness and fear of being ostracized in a small town for being perceived “different.” I felt every emotion while reading this novel. Ranging from sadness and heartbreak to joy and excitement as both main characters grew significantly throughout this novel and show how love triumphs over hate.

Bully King is an amazing enemy to lover’s romance that I enjoyed from start to finish. I have added it to my MM collection and look forward to more amazing reads from this author. I adore how this novel illustrates the powerful effect of love and compassion.

[Mariam, · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book is the REASON why I hate the existence of Bully Romance 🤡

(It's been a while since I've wrote a review so be prepared for an absolute rubbish one)

Honestly, my favorite part of this book was probably the prologue. That chapter was just done so well and you can literally feel the agony, the horror and how scared our MC character was.

I do not wish to live in this darkness any longer. I am bad. I am broken. I am undeserving of finesse. Please, just spare my family the shame of knowing I am unwell. That I am wrongfully gay. Allow me a quick death. I plead of You to just end my life before the town and congregation find out. My family wouldn’t survive the humiliation my tainted heart would bring down upon them. Wrap Your loving arms around them, Heavenly Father, for You are the only one to heal and save them from the pain of losing a son.

And everything else?

I either hated the simple existence, or simply tolerated it to protect whatever was left of sanity at the ungodly hours of the morning.


And no, it's not because it's a bully romance. I have read bully romance and while I generally don't favor them, I have read a bully romance where I actually like the book. I like the characters. Bully Romance is one of the tropes where you either fuck it up so bad, it's (not) hilarious, or manipulate your readers into believing this is the best thing EVER.

And honestly, the story could've been the latter.

But why I didn't like this book was the writing.

The writing was really amateur. It felt stagnant, plain as a damn leaf and unflavorful.


Like I have read wattpad books better than this. (and that's no offense to wattpad, I love that app and I wouldn't be here if it weren't for it's existence)

And this book just ticked off every book of cliche? YES.

And don't you just love a book that goes against every law of common sense?

ie

- a nurse hesitating to treat one of our main characters because of personal issues. Gotta love professionalism cus they so didn't take an oath no?

- the fucking epilogue makes me so triggered, it's not even funny.

- I love how we went from I hate his guts to fuck I love him so much




Initial Reactions

You don't understand how tempted I am to give this 1 star

[Nazanin · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 Stars

Jonah is the preacher’s son and liking Roman goes against everything he believes in. Roman’s a jerk, cocky, and entitled among other things. He treats Jonah like shit. He likes to rile Jonah up, push him and mess with him…

The story dragged at some places and became repetitive. Jonah was strong but I wanted him to more stand up to Roman. He went easy on him most of the time. Roman pretending to be with Mary was really frustrating because it went till the end and at the beginning when he used her to get to Jonah was beyond everything and Jonah pretending to be cool about it was not OK! Another thing, I wanted to see Roman redeemed himself for his treatment toward Jonah but it didn’t happen!

Told in dual POV, 1st person, it’s a standalone novel. It’s a bully story, an enemies-to-lovers and angsty. Overall, it aws an OK read and hope you enjoy it more than me!

[Dani · Rating 2 out of 5]

This didn't feel like a romance...

Roman didn't show any character development and was actually very selfish and abusive towards Jonah - I didn't see where the love was.

I preferred Jonah but I didn't like how forgiving he was seeing as he didn't get all that much in return. It actually felt like he was punishing himself for being gay by allowing Roman to treat him the way he did.

This story also reinforced my absolute loathing of religious zealots.

[Debra ~~ seriously slacking on her reviews ~~ · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was recommended by a lot of people when I was looking for angsty, rip your heart out stories where the two men really have to fight for their HEA. Unfortunately, it really didn't work for me.

Definitely heed any trigger warnings before going into it. There isn't just dub-con, but there is definitely one scene of full-on non-con, sexual assault.

My issues with the story were that not only was there a lot going on, but so much of it was over the top and felt like it was happening for shock value. There were also plot lines that really weren't fleshed out or didn't make sense to me. On top of that, I never felt that I wanted these two together because I never got a feel for much beyond the thrill they both felt and I didn't feel that Roman really did enough to earn forgiveness. Most of the stuff that happened wasn't even discussed much amongst the characters. Even in the end, their relationship didn't feel like much more than an obsession to me. There were also editing issues as far as the timeline went, especially in the beginning of the story.

I did feel for both Jonah and Roman for the family situations they found themselves in and I was happy to see that Jonah's sister, Mary, turned out to be a strong character and an ally to the boys and Taylor's mother was awesome. Overall, this book just didn't work for me, but once again I appear to be in the minority so YMMV.

[Ben Howard · Rating 1 out of 5]

I wish I could go back in time to a point where I hadn't read this book.

[Preeti · Rating 4 out of 5]

(Warnings-Bullying, Dub-con, homophobia, Internalised homophobia, On-page suicide attempt by the character, dom-sub). 

In one line this was some really fucked up shit. And, I know, I blame my being a mood reader for 99% of my reading woes. And, some days I would have dnf a book just for one homophobic slur but today I didn't care if the whole narrow-minded town is shouting them. 

So, the storyline is full of cliches of a bully romance in a small town in the South. We have a closeted quarterback, Roman king aka bully king. He is hurt and abused regularly by his alcoholic father and he, in turn, tries everything to prove that he is a perfect jock so no one ever pities him. That in tails fucking around, bullying and winning all the games.

Then, comes Jonah, the son of the new Pastor. He is beautiful, kind and smart but scared. Scared because his father never fails to preach about the fate of homosexuals to the church and in home.

And, because our bully king is smitten by Jonah but frightened to show it. What will he do??? He pretends to date Jonah's sister Mary and torments Jonah.

Is this problematic??? Hell yeah!!
1. The bullying scenes are painful to read about. They are graphic and some scenes are downright cruel.

2. The attitude of the town folk towards abuse. 
a.No one cares that Roman and his mom are being abused by his father because he is ex-NFL and rich
b.No, one cares for Roman, are any jock's bullying others because people in the town care about nothing more than football.

Was the relationship abusive?? Again hell yeah!!
The romance started with bullying and blackmail. Has serious elements of dub-con, dom-sub, and emotional abuse. So, yes it's an abusive relationship at the start. But, in a town that breeds hatred, and where both the boys have no support, what else do you expect??
 
If Jonah has anyone else to love or anyone else has accepted him the way he is, maybe this book could not be called romance.

Do I think the bully king/Roman was redeemed??
I don't know or actually NO. The writing has really forced me to reconsider my belief. I knew the relationship was toxic but I was rooting for it. Mainly because how else I would have expected them to survive and then escape from that Town.
-------------------------------
Some quotes from Jonah
"I’m scared to look over my shoulder. Which Roman will I find?"

"I never know what to expect from him. It’s as exciting as it is terrifying. He pushes my boundaries, often stomping all over them, but he's never pushed me too far."

"After the brutality comes affection. It’s a deadly combination. I’ve seen so many sides of him now. Which one is the real him? The cocky asshole with no cares? The demanding asshole who takes what he wants? This caring, comforting side?"
---------------------------------------------------
Roman/bully king quotes

"I can’t see what the future holds, but I know I need you in mine. The idea of you not being with me makes me want to burn everything to the ground. I am nothing without you. All this shit we’re dealing with makes us stronger. You’re mine, and this shithole town won’t be able to stand between us. I won’t let them.”

This is not the book for everyone but if you get past the Warnings, You will see that the book urges us to think about the part of family, community and religion in life and of course the narrow-mindedness of Small towns.

Note- What pisses me more than the bullying was the preaching of Jonah's father. His direct quotes from Bible.

Looking forward to reading the latest book by this author, that's the story of Taylor, Roman's best friend. But is completely standalone and has trans representation.

[Evelyn Bella (there WILL be spoilers) · Rating 1 out of 5]

Without a doubt the worst MM romance I've ever read.

Made a friend read a book with cheating between MCs so she made me read this and all I can say is we need to stay far away from each other's recommendations going forward.

I knew I probably wasn't going to like this, but I had no idea how much I'd hate it.

Homophobia galore. Everyone gets some.

We have Roman, a bully who's into dubcon sexual encounters with a boy whose sister he's dating. Will face fuck him by force in front of the entire football team then show up later for a cuddle and absolution.

And we have Jonah. The spineless absolver. Never met a heinous crime he didn't want to absolve Roman of. You watch your secret boyfriend beat the shit out of his recently outed best friend and give him no more than a slap on the wrist.

Not even that. Even the beaten up bestie forgives him, with BARELY an apology. If I don't laugh I'll cry.

I don't even know why they're saying they're in love. There's nothing between them beyond lust and bullying. Roman isn't even an unknowing offender. At some point he tells Jonah....

“How hard it makes me when I push you past the point of argument and you finally give in, even though you didn’t want to? I’d be slapped with a rape charge so fast my head would spin.”

I don't get the allure, there's nothing redeemable about Roman. He's not amoral. He knows when what he's doing is wrong, he just does it anyway.

I'd get it if there were any part of Jonah that gave off the idea he likes it rough. There isn't though. He doesn't fantasize about being taken against his will. He's not gagging for it. He just likes Roman, and that's the way Roman likes it, so that's how Jonah takes it.

TL;DR?

Roman: *beating the shit out his lifelong bestie.
Jonah(less than 6 hours later): He's broken but he loves me🥰🥰🥰

[Lilly [Hiatus due to School] · Rating 5 out of 5]

I hate him. I need him. His need sears my heart. He doesn’t know how else to protect me from them. I love him.

After reading Prom King in Anti-Valentine: An MM Romance Anthology I became really interested in Roman and Jonah's story in Bully King.

We have the story of Jonah, the new boy who is the son of a preacher who moves from Washington State to the South. He is in the closet and, as the new kid in town, has attracted the attention of the football team, particularly Roman King. Despite his reputation in town, Roman King comes from a broken home. Not only is he also in the deep in the closet, but he has to deal with his violent father on a daily base while not only trying to protect himself but also his mother. They are drawn to one another, and while their relationship is unhealthy and dangerous, if they are found out, they become like air to one another in a town that is ready to crush them.

This story honestly took me for an emotional ride. While the story itself is not a dark romance, it deals with themes of bullying, homophobia, gay bashing, and the use of religion to spew hateful rhetoric. The first half of the book is difficult to read and honestly makes you feel uncomfortable. Roman's actions towards Jonah and later his own friend are pretty despicable.

Tears fall down my face as he uses me, his hand in my hair giving him more control. Refusing to look away from him, I won’t let him hide from this. He has to face what he’s doing to me. If I’m his victim, he will face the monstrosity of his actions.

The relationship between Roman and Johan is quite disturbing and unhealthy. Roman has to keep up appearances, and with the way he grew up, violence follows softness despite how much he comes to love Jonah. He violates, hurts, and treats Jonah so horribly. Yes, it is out of fear, he is a coward, but it's tough reading those moments.

After the brutality comes affection. It’s a deadly combination. How was I supposed to keep him at arm’s length when he’s like this?

There is no way I should be rooting for these two, but Andi Jaxon does a fantastic job at drawing you in emotionally and making you invested in their relationship. However, those tender moments when they were together picking up the pieces....my heart. I loved how Roman was possessive and was ready to defend and fight for Jonah (after realizing he couldn't be a coward anymore).

Like Roman was problematic, do not get me wrong. He was complicit and an active participant in terrorizing and beating even his own best friend for being gay. The internalized homophobia was wild in him. However, I like that there is character growth and learning to stand for what is right in the end.

“I can’t see what the future holds, but I know I need you in mine. The idea of you not being with me makes me want to burn everything to the ground. I am nothing without you. All this shit we’re dealing with makes us stronger. You’re mine, and this shithole town won’t be able to stand between us. I won’t let them.”

Overall, Bully King was an emotional story. I really enjoyed it and am glad that I finally read it. I really love Andi Jaxon's writing, and I can officially say I am a fan!

Please do check TWs if you plan on reading this book.

[Doug · Rating 1 out of 5]

First of all I would like to say that the dub/con mentioned by the author is actually non-con (specifically in one scene). We can't justify the bathroom scene as dub/con no matter what were Roman's intentions.

The one thing that pissed me off the most is how easily Andy forgives some of the awful things Roman does. That's not what the readers want to see! We want him to earn his forgiveness; We want a character like Roman to actually redeems himself, and not to deal with the backlash through just a couple pages after screwing up.

It's not all bad. There are some sweet and hot moments, but I still didn't enjoy this book. It's not exactly accurate when reviewers say that you might not like the book simply because "it isn't for everyone". I love bully romances and I don't mind dark themes. The issue here is how it all happens and how the characters deal with the repercussions. It was not satisfying enough for me.

[yaishin · Rating 5 out of 5]

2nd read

It was sooooo good. I loved Roman and Jonah so much. I loved the whole slight bdsm vibe to their relationship so much.

But, I did like the first part of the book more than the second. More drama and hiding and hate-fucking.

Their relationship had a seriousness to it that isn't seen in most ya fiction.

4th read
will always be a 5-star read for me.

[Crystal (Crystalreads2) · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love a good M/M romance; I read the blurb and was hooked. I knew going in the Preacher would be against his son being gay. Once I was in deep, I had a big problem with it and kept yelling and screaming at my kindle. I felt their pain; it was raw and emotional. Now add high school bullies, abusive parents, love, and you have a tremendous gut-wrenching story. The mom in me wanted to adopt these fictional characters.



Johan and his sister Mary move to small-town Kentucky with their parents. Johan's father is the new Preacher in town. Johan feels out of place and hiding a secret from his family that he is gay, as it goes against everything he has been told to believe, and will be excommunicated. On his first day of school, he has a run-in with Roman , the school star quarterback, and from there on, he has a target on his back.

I will always be an outsider in my family. Never accepted or part of it.

Roman can do no wrong in his town as football is viewed as a religion. Many people turn a blind eye to some of his indiscretions. He has feelings for Johan but tries to keep them bottled up; he starts to date his sister, Mary, while striving to be closer to Johan. He knows being gay; no one will turn a blind eye. Life may look good on the outside, but it's far from it. He is broody, cocky, and afraid of what others will think or do.


Roman and Johan broke me and put me back together again. I felt like I was transported back to the 1980s with such small-minded towns and hate crimes against gay people. These two went through hell. But when there is darkness, the light will follow. I couldn't help but fall in love with both of them. I hope to see if Taylor and Mary have their own book.

[Demon · Rating 3 out of 5]

Oh my god! Wtf! I 𝗮𝗰𝘁𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗯𝗼𝗼𝗸. I didn't think I would, not with the 𝘁𝘄𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝘂𝗽 𝗽𝗹𝗼𝘁 but my curiosity got the better of me! 😅

With all the 𝗽𝗼𝘀𝘀𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗼𝘅𝗶𝗰𝗶𝘁𝘆, I still liked it! I am messed up. I am so messed up.

If this was reality I'd need 𝙅𝙤𝙣𝙖𝙝 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙍𝙤𝙢𝙖𝙣 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙚 𝙨𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙖𝙣 𝙖𝙨𝙮𝙡𝙪𝙢. It was the twisted way of this book that engaged me in it. My psychology professor can never find out about this! 😭😭😭

The 𝘳𝘰𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘸𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘴 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘭. 𝙎𝙚𝙡𝙛 𝙝𝙖𝙩𝙧𝙚𝙙 was the darkest part of Jonah (for which I felt really bad for) and Roman, though a 𝙩𝙬𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙛𝙪𝙘𝙠, actually got him. Roman was a 𝘀𝗮𝗱𝗶𝘀𝘁 and 𝗝𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗵 𝗮𝗰𝘁𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁. Roman wanted jonah in pain. Jonah revelled in that pain 😳! When these two were together 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙬𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙨𝙚 𝙨𝙬𝙚𝙚𝙩 𝙢𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙨 where I was like 𝗮𝘄𝘄𝘄 and then I have to 𝘴𝘮𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘮𝘺 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘢 𝘸𝘢𝘭𝘭 to make myself understand how 𝙩𝙤𝙭𝙞𝙘 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙬𝙖𝙨 😫. It was messed up in an 𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙬𝙖𝙮.

It was the 𝙬𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙜𝙤𝙩 𝙢𝙚. Not the book but of the characters. These two were so 𝙬𝙚𝙡𝙡 𝙢𝙖𝙙𝙚. Roman being concerned and kind off creepy sweet made me want to coo. My heads at the wrong place. This 𝙗𝙤𝙤𝙠 𝙢𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙚𝙨 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙙 ppl. It makes you think things in a way u know is 𝚠𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚐 but you 𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙚𝙭𝙘𝙪𝙨𝙚𝙨 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙞𝙩! 😱

I'll have to 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙧𝙩 𝙜𝙤𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙘𝙝𝙪𝙧𝙘𝙝 (nope. No tnks) or something. I'll start meditation, maybe. 𝗠𝘆 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗮𝗹 𝗰𝗼𝗱𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗴𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼𝗼 𝘁𝘄𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗱 for me to handle. 😝

[Diana · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Only Ones Who Know
*arc generously provided by the promo team in exchange for an honest review*

What’s this book about? (I'm trying to give as little spoilers as possible)
*in addition to the triggers mentioned in the author’s blurb: be aware that this story unfortunately includes a lot of realistic homophobia and that might trigger people.* God knows Jonah tried. He wakes up every morning with a need to be ‘normal’. Why is he the way he is? Why is he such a victim? Why can’t Roman King leave Jonah alone? Doesn’t he know that there are lives at risk?

Before we start, let me just say that this is the only time I’m actually glad that I indulged in drama and found out what was going on in the sketchy romance bookstagram community. WELL. I’ve read other bully kings, but this Bully King is in a league of its own. It’s not a small book in any sense. It’s an intense piece of work full of drama and real life battles. It’s an emotional M/M Bully Romance that takes you an adventurous ride. But those adventures aren’t rosy. The society portrayed in this book isn’t something to admire. I applaud the author for her realistic portrayal of football culture and homophobia. Both leads are likeable and relatable, but with King, it takes longer to understand him. Our heroes are tortured and trapped in a society that doesn’t accept them. There’s lots of drama. The banter is hundred percent on. The angst… Oh, the angst. The family dynamics in this story are thoroughly explored, and they’re an immense driving source of the plot. I was intrigued and invested right away! The bullying in the story is top notch – and that statement right there is super weird. Roman and Jonah have impeccable chemistry. Their steamy scenes were HOT LIKE LEBRON IN THE FOURTH QUARTER. Sheesh. I recommend this story to M/M Romance fans, sports romance addicts, and star-crossed lovers admirers.

ORIGINAL COMMENT
Love this story. So glad I signed up.

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[alex :) · Rating 4 out of 5]

was this corny and had a bunch of clichés rolled into one book? yes.

did i absolutely devour it and then some? also yes.

now exactly how roman was pretty much feared by everyone in town and was able to do whatever he wanted without consequences is beyond me. the whole thing was very unrealistic, but sometimes a good, trashy romance really works for me. it reminded me of the wattpad stories i would eat up as a kid, so clearly i would still enjoy them today. i do wish there was more groveling on roman’s end — especially since he was a dick in a lot of the scenes. but other than that, i really liked the romance and the characters. 4.5 stars!

[Sophie's Reading Corner · Rating 1 out of 5]

Let me just say that I'm not a person who gives 1 star ratings. My lowest is 2 stars and it's been eons since the last time I gave a 1 star rating. But I was so close to DNF this book multiple times while reading this one and because I don't DNF, I had to struggle and deal with it. And when you're struggling while reading, instead of enjoying the action, then it means that this book maybe indeed deserves that 1 star rating. In my opinion at least.

Now, don't come at me, because this was one of my most anticipated reads, I generally love bully romance , dark romance and I'm not over-sensitive or whatever. BUT let's be honest here. This book didn't make sense to me. There were many plotholes, it was very problematic, there was rape and abuse and there was no redemption. Jonah was a punching bag for Roman, who didn't redeem himself, because according to the other guy "he was already forgiven". Excuse me, what?

There are also scenes that should be discussed (attempted suicide, domestic abuse, predatory behavior etc.) and not just brushed off and this happened too many times. I was so troubled by them, that I didn't care for their sex scenes or their so called "romance".

Anyway, bottom line, this book definitely wasn't for me, but it will probably stay with me because of how frustrated it made me feel.

[Jess Brady · Rating 5 out of 5]

When done right a bully romance can give you more emotions than that of any other trope in my opinion and honey let me tell you, Bully King was done right!!!

Jonah has lived with the idea that there is something wrong with him because he was raised in the church where homosexuality is a sin in any form. Moving to a small southern town where the two most important things are football and Jesus he is faced with the very real possibility if anyone were to find out he was gay he could be seriously hurt for it. His first day at his new school he is faced with the jock who can and will ruin him given the chance. Roman just isn't any jock though, he gets under Jonah's skin just with one glance and if Jonah isn't careful, he can risk losing much more than just his secret.

Roman has it all on the outside but inside he is drowning. His father is a drunk, his mom is lost in her heartbreak, and he is keeping the biggest part of himself hidden from everyone. When he encounters the new kid Jonah on the first day of school, he knows that he has to make sure Jonah doesn't come near him and the only way to do that is with anger and rage. He starts dating Jonah's sister to keep Jonah close but not too close, he bullies him so no one suspects but before he knows it Roman can't stay away. Jonah is everything and nothing that he wants all at the same time.

Jonah & Roman's relationship starts out rocky to say the least with each of them getting their own grief at home unknowingly about who they truly are. Being faced with losing everything makes people do drastic things and as Roman starts to fall for Jonah he knows that if he doesn't change his ways soon, he is sure to lose him for good. Jonah has always kept this part of himself secret and it was OK until Roman, he tests everything Jonah believes in but how can something that is supposed to be so awful feel so good?

As someone living in the south this story touched my heart in so many ways because the themes at play here are very present. You wouldn't think so, but it is true and when faced with losing everything just to keep the one you love people are forced to make impossible decisions. I saw that here with both Jonah & Roman and all I wanted to do was hug them both and tell them it would be OK.

Andi Jaxon created a bully romance with serious heart, and I was blown away. Seriously can't believe this was my first book by her but I am looking forward to more of stories especially Tainted where we learn more about Taylor, Roman's best friend.

[Sabrina · Rating 3 out of 5]

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I'm a fan of bully romances and I love a M/M story so I was really looking forward to this book. But I think I got my expectations up a little too high. So I'm blaming myself for the 3 star rating. I love a bully that ends up falling for his victim and while I did get a little of that in this book I felt like there wasn't enough of a connection between Roman and Jonah to contradict just how extreme some of the bullying was. I also felt like sometimes the bullying was a little forced and put into the book for shock value or just to make it a true bully romance but it didn't always make sense with the story, at least not for me.

Bottom line, I did like the characters, even Roman when he was a jackass, and I did like the overall story. I may have had too many ideas for what would happen between the characters when I went into the book and ruined it for myself so I'm not given up on this author and I'm excited to read more from her.

[Julia (bookish.jka) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow, what can I say?! I really enjoyed this, despite the triggering subject matter.

And there are so many triggers (dub-con, suicidal thoughts, homophobia and physical abuse, amongst more) so be aware, but also lots of thought provoking prose and really tough topics dealt with passionately and compassionately.

I completely loved Jonah and Roman, although Roman really had to work for it at times!

Totally recommended.

4.5 ✨✨✨✨

[Stacy · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 Stars

RTC

[mariasbookss_ · Rating 5 out of 5]

★★★𝑅𝑒𝑣𝑖𝑒𝑤★★★
(𝑨𝑹𝑪 𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒅𝒍𝒚 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒗𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒅 𝒊𝒏 𝒆𝒙𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒂𝒏 𝒉𝒐𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒓𝒆𝒗𝒊𝒆𝒘.)
𝑅𝐴𝑇𝐼𝑁𝐺:⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

𝑰 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒃𝒆 𝒂𝒏 𝒐𝒖𝒕𝒔𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒊𝒏 𝒎𝒚 𝒇𝒂𝒎𝒊𝒍𝒚. 𝑵𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒂𝒄𝒄𝒆𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒐𝒓 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝒊𝒕. 𝑰’𝒎 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒅𝒊𝒓𝒕𝒚 𝒔𝒆𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒕 𝒎𝒚 𝒇𝒂𝒎𝒊𝒍𝒚 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒅𝒂𝒚 𝒉𝒊𝒅𝒆 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝒑𝒆𝒐𝒑𝒍𝒆.

Bully King is a standalone MM bully romance by Andi Jaxon. This book was absolutely heart wrenching and beautiful.

Jonah Cohen is the pastor's son. He was raised with the idea that it is considered a sin for people of same gender to be together. He has been hiding his true self from his family for the fear of being hated and rejected, and his father being the biggest hater of them made him wish death more than once. He and his family ended up moving when a job was offered to his father, but nothing could have prepared him for the storm he was about to weather.

𝑰’𝒍𝒍 𝒃𝒆 𝒔𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝑯𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒃𝒆𝒄𝒂𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑰 𝒄𝒂𝒏’𝒕 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒓𝒐𝒍. 𝑰 𝒅𝒊𝒅𝒏’𝒕 𝒄𝒉𝒐𝒐𝒔𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒘𝒂𝒚. 𝑰’𝒎 𝒏𝒐 𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒓 𝒄𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒏, 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒆𝒚𝒆𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝑮𝒐𝒅.

In a town where people care about only two things: football and God, Roman King is practically a Royalty. He is the star player of the school. Everyone wants to be him, but all that perfect image he portrays in nothing but an image. No one really knows the truth of his broken family or the nightmare he faces every time he gets home.

In a town where being gay is considered the greatest sin, they can only have stolen kisses and quick gropes in the dark.

𝑱𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒉 ���𝒖𝒄𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑪𝒐𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒊𝒔 𝒂 𝒅𝒓𝒖𝒈 , 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑰’𝒎 𝒂𝒅𝒅𝒊𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒅.

This book was heartbreaking and sad. It was written is a way that it was impossible for me to stop reading. The struggles that both Roman and Jonah faced broke my heart, but what broke me the most was the fact that their own parents were their biggest enemies. I mean isn't family supposed to be you ride or die? To love you and accept you no matter who you are?

This book was beautiful in so many ways, and i was happy how everything turned out for both of them.

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒂 𝒐𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒃𝒆𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒎𝒆 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆𝒔 𝒎𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒖𝒓𝒏 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒈𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅. 𝑰 𝒂𝒎 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖.

[Abstract ♥ Books · Rating 5 out of 5]

ALL MY REVIEWS CAN BE FOUND ON MY BLOG: ABSTRACT BOOKS

I hate him. Roman King. Even his name makes him sound like a jerk . If jerk is even a strong enough word to describe this guy. Too bad it makes my blood pound in my veins at the mention of it. I hate him, but I have a feeling before the end of the year, I’m going to fall in love with him. I’m not sure why. He’s given me no reason to think otherwise, but there’s something about him that calls to me. I hate him for that too.”

' Bully King' is a standalone MM Bully Romance by Andi Jaxon. Told in dual purpose , this book was absolutely heart wrenching!!

I seem to have developed an Addiction for MM Romances. Can't have enough of these😂. This book was no less! I loved the storyline , but my favourite part were some of the phrases in this book. The author managed to gracefully gut me with her words and I enjoyed every Second!!!

Jonah is the pastor's son. Everyday in his life he hears about how it is a sin for people of same gender to lay together and it kills him to hide his true self from everyone. He father being the biggest hater of them all. Now he has moved to a new school and is set for a fresh start. That is until he runs into the king of school on his first day. From that day , his life becomes a living nightmare , and he at the mercy of Roman King.

Roman is the star player of the school. Everyone wants to be him. But what they see is his flashy life. No one knows the real truth of his broken family or the nightmare he survives everyday. The pastor's son is the last person who should hold his interest. Then why can't he stay away? Jonah is the most innocent guy he has ever met and that is the thing which attracts him the most. But he can't let anyone know about his desires. Which is why Jonah has to hate him. Maybe then they will both survive this town full of people who think being gay is a sin that should be punished through death.

This story was absolutely heart-breaking. The way it is written , it was impossible for me to not be moved by Jonah and Roman's story. It was not pretty story but seeing them struggle only for them to rise even higher , is what kept me going! A definite top read of mine! And a must read for all the MM bully romance lovers out there!!


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[Darien · Rating 2 out of 5]

So I thought it only fair I do a bully m/m because I did a m/f a couple years back. I should have learnt my lesson that nothing good comes from a bully “romance” and this one was epically horrible. Homophobic Christian town, an asshole homophobic but gay jock, and a repressed gay Christian boy whose father is the pastor.

Just so many bad things happen here that get glossed over but I guess that’s what makes it bully and romance. Also its too damn long for no reason. Just repetition, repetition, repetition 🙄

Would not recommend!

[Kimmy ♡ · Rating 1 out of 5]

One star for the sexy and delicious scenes, the rest is garbage, no offense to the author.

[⋆｡°✮ Lucy InTheSky ✮°｡⋆ · Rating 4 out of 5]

Re-read

I'm in the process of re-reading some books from 2022, because they were read when I wasn't in a really good place, so I just want to make sure I got it right. 😄

First of all, I'm definitely rounding this rating down. 3.75⭐ for me, but I'll round it up to 4⭐, because as far as the bully romance goes, this one is quite true to the trope.

The bully MMC is a complete asshole - as he should be, he's relentless, he's not letting go of that, he's pushing through and bullying even when he's hooking up with the other MMC, so as far as the trope goes, I kind of wish Roman would push it even further. 👀

"I can't trust him not to find some dark alley somewhere to push me against the wall and take what he wants. One of these days, he will take my virginity, whether I give it to him or he takes it by force. In this moment, my perverted, broken head wants him to take it."



Based on my previous review I apparently really liked the story, but now, reading it again, I'll say there were a few things that bothered me. I still very much like both MMCs and the angst in this book was very satisfying, but there are some niggles here and I'll point them out.

🟣 First one would be Roman.

He's a bully - got it. He's a jerk and he's doing questionable shit to Jonah, they're both hiding, completely on the DL and navigating their families and the crazy bigoted folks around them. Jonah is doing all this with Roman with consent, he's falling for the guy and Roman is taking all his first times, so I get that.

Where Roman lost me was Taylor.
Taylor is Roman's best friend since they were kids and when Taylor is caught kissing another guy, Roman beats the shit out of him. In front of everyone - while doing the same things himself. And after it all goes down, Roman isn't grovelling. He isn't redeeming himself, no grand gestures, he doesn't even get what's coming to him, no, the whole thing just kind of settles down and he's friends with Taylor again. I kept waiting for something to happen to Roman, but nothing did. Taylor was also surprisingly calm about finding out Roman and Jonah are together.

I would be pissed. I wouldn't talk to the guy. I'd break his neck. That motherfucker wouldn't get to be 10 feet near me without running for his life.
But Taylor, who wanted to kill himself because of all that transpired, lets Roman and Jonah into his home, they fuck in his bathroom, they spend the night, you name it. And Roman even gets to be the hero for suddenly defending Taylor in front of the team. Where were you like a day ago when you should've been there for your friend?

Not to mention what this tells Jonah. That his hot bully boyfriend would probably do the same to him. Not so hot anymore, is he?

🔵 Another thing was Jonah's dad.

Now, I get it. If you've even been in the company of very religious people you know that this author isn't exaggerating anything, it's how they think, it's how they act. Jonah's dad was a shithead with an ego the size of Spain, spewing his bigoted morals everywhere he turned - and making money along the way! He moved his family to this backwards town so that he could let out his true colors, you know, the ones where he's right and everyone else is wrong - and mentioning god in the process.

Jonah has an existential crisis when he gets intimate with Roman because he's convinced he's now going to hell. When his father actually finds out that he was kissing a guy, he beats Jonah up with the bible. So, he, as a religious figure, a pastor nonetheless, should be the image of kindness and acceptance, right? Morals and values and whatnot. But he wouldn't think twice to hit his kids or to throw his own son out.

A nice addition to the story, dads like that definitely do exist. He was just a shithead and I hated his guts. A nice resolve would be great, but he disappeared from the story when Jonah moved out.

🟡 Third thing, well

"These guys will beat up a boy for being gay but won't lay a hand on a girl for any reason. I just don't understand their mentality here."

What? 🤨

I think the author took showing they're an ally to another level in many parts of this book. It went overboard and at times sounded ridiculous.

Even so, I did like the bonus story - very much, but what was missing were the events after the graduation. The story stopped at graduation and continued with 1 year later. As much as the book is talking about the town being severly homophobic and Roman outing them both at graduation, I mean, I'd like to know what happened next? How did they even survive the town? Did anyone attack them? Guess not. So another chapter would be very welcome, the ending and the epilogue were too abrupt.

I already read Taylor's story, it's very good, it has a trans character, which I usually don't read, but his story is good, so is Taylor.

______________________________________

Original review from 3-August-2022

5⭐ and WHY, why didn't I read this book sooner????



🔵 High school bully/preacher's son
🟢 Gay-awakening/gay
🟠 Bible belt, homphobic town
🟡 Some non-con (blowjob, public)
🟣 Angst
🌶️ Good spice, a lot of it ( but didn't really have to be there at the funeral/the wake)
❗ Physical abuse, sexual abuse, religious abuse, homophobia
🔵 I don't like the cover

I loved this book!

The story is about Jonah and Roman, both seniors in high school in a small town in the bible belt.

Jonah is a son of a pastor, whose family moves to a very small town in the South, in the bible belt; Jonah's gay and closeted, he's hiding himself especially from his father, who's a pastor and against gays.



Roman comes from a rich family, he's the town's famous, best high school quarterback, his father was a NFL player, who's now an alcoholic, violent and agressive, he hits him and his mother regularly. Everyone in town knows this, but they turn a blind eye, because - football.



Roman actually starts dating Jonah's sister Mary, because he's a local fuckboy, but what he really wants is Jonah. Roman's never been attracted to guys and considering where he lives he never allowed himself to feel it, but there's no mistake, Jonah stirs something inside of Roman and Roman's relentless in his pursuit.

Roman realises that Jonah is gay and gets an upper hand, he's a complete and total bully to Jonah and he has his football team behind him. They're not letting up, they're harassing Jonah all the time, while Roman is going on dates with his sister while taunting Jonah.
It's fucked up, but it looks like Jonah likes it, even though he gets shoved around, pushed and humiliated along the way.

When Jonah and Roman finally kiss and fall into this secret "relationship", Mary catches them in Jonah's bed and she's surprisingly supportive.



Jonah gives Roman exactly what he's been missing in his life. Jonah's in his corner, he gets Roman, he's
comforting him, Roman can break down and cry, let his guard down, but only with Jonah. Not to mention they have amazing, mind blowing sex.

A turning point comes when Roman's dad catches Roman and Jonah kissing. He beats Roman and outs Jonah to his family, so Jonah is beaten up with a bible and he's thrown out of the house. They are finding their way together, navigating a small, homophobic town and having to hide, but eventually they make it to graduation and move away for college.

This books touches soooo many sensitive issues. The one that stood out the most for me was the religious factor. We were all, almost all of us, mentally, emotionally, verbally and physically abused, right? Sad, but true. But the religious abuse is, for me, on another level. Why? Because it's complete brainwashing and still very prominent today. There are billions of dollars involved in making people believe things that are completely outdated or are completely untrue and spewing that hatred forward to the next generations. If you're sensitive to those topics, this may be a difficult read for you, it's angsty and hard to read at times.


Jonah and Roman were my first bully m/m romance and have me hooked, this is definitely the trope I like.

[Megan [At The Cottage] · Rating 1 out of 5]

Ugh this book. I’ve read a lot of MF bully romances this year and they’ve been hit or miss for me but I was repeatedly told this is the one to read especially since I love MM romances. Ummm 🤔 worst advice ever. Let’s see if I can keep this review short because I could easily write 100 pages about all the awful this book is.

First off, this takes place in a small shitty town in Kentucky where everything revolves around the football team and going to church. Jonah’s dad is the new pastor and his sermons made my blood boil. There are a lot of homophobic people in this town and the pastor loves to quote passages from the Bible that reinforce this hatred of gay people. Jonah is gay but is struggling to come to terms with it because he was brought up to believe being gay is a sin. The amount of guilt he has is outrageous and incredibly sad and he feels alone in the world. Then we have Roman who is the town’s golden boy because he’s the quarterback of the football team. Roman has a horrible family life because his dad is a violent drunk and beats on him and his mom. The town looks the other way as long as he can still play football because that’s what is important. Gag.

When Roman and Jonah meet, Roman hates him from the start and gets the entire school to bully him and show no mercy. The things done to him are really vile and the school doesn’t give a shit. People piss in his locker, beat him up and there’s even a sexual assault involving the entire football team, Roman and Jonah. Somehow though Jonah is drawn to Roman and they start messing around while having a toxic co-dependent relationship. 🤦🏻‍♀️ This has to be kept hidden because as Roman likes to say “this is a homophobic town that will kill gays with pitchforks and hang them”. Lovely.

All that and we’re only at 30% of the book. What’s to come is so many other plot lines it’s hard to keep track, too many hate crimes that no one gives a shit about, a random death, no redemption for Roman yet somehow they fall in love with each other, lots of hate fucking because Roman likes to cause Jonah pain and not in a hot way and LOTS OF TEARS.

Then the book abruptly ends. Ummm 🤔 WTF 🤬 No one is punished for all that happens. Where’s the justice? What happens with both families? Tons of other questions I’m too lazy to write out. Because this just ends, we never see Jonah getting to a point where he loves himself or feels okay being who he is. It leaves everything unresolved and awful. I don’t need my books to be sunshine and rainbows but at least end the book with Jonah in a better place emotionally. There is so much talk of suicide, being completely alone in the world and not understood. All of this makes this book heartbreaking and yet there wasn’t a single character I actually liked so it was hard to keep myself interested. I’ve read books where I’ve hated all the characters and loved the book but this is just badly written, has horrible subject matter that stays unresolved and was a complete waste of my time.

This book also reinforces why I don’t practice any religion despite being baptized catholic. While this is a fictional book, these kinds of hate crimes happen everyday to people who are just trying to be themselves because they were BORN THAT WAY! I could go on and on and on but instead I’ll just say that even though I love a dark romance and am not offended by much, this story with all it’s missing pieces pisses me off. There is no subject I’m more passionate about than equality and this rubbed me the wrong way.

Rant over.

[Vickie]

I just spent 30 mins writing a review and accidentally deleted it. I’m so upset right now😭😭😭😭 I’ll try again tomorrow