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Not From Round Here: Memoirs of a Soft Southerner Up North
"Not From Round Here made me laugh so much that I got odd looks when I read it in public. I loved this book and was very sad when it ended. I wanted more! " - Suzy K. Quinn, million selling author of the 'Bad Mother' series.
From the Back Cover
“I stuck a hair dryer on me bunion to stretch me skin out. Didn’t bloomin’ work.”
So begins Brad’s uproarious new life as an Essex native who’s yanked from living his pipe dream in the Spanish sunshine to the grey and wet northwest of England.
In this comedy memoir, Brad is catapulted to a strange land in his homeland where complete strangers tell him about their bunions and insist on showing him the holes “they burned” in the crotch of their swimming trunks.
It’s a land of confusion where everything he thought true comes into bread rolls are now called, “barms"; tea is something you eat not drink; almond milk is unheard of because, “yer don't get teats on an almond, stupid!”
It’s a land where Brad is so cold that he’s wearing more coats than a nightclub cloakroom can handle while the locals casually stroll around in their beachwear.
Will fish out of water Brad sink or swim as he adapts to the culture shock of being a soft southerner up north?
One thing’s for sure, you’re in for a pant-pissing, rollercoaster ride of mishaps, mayhem, and meat pies.
So strap on your incontinence pads then scroll up to buy now!
From the Back Cover
“I stuck a hair dryer on me bunion to stretch me skin out. Didn’t bloomin’ work.”
So begins Brad’s uproarious new life as an Essex native who’s yanked from living his pipe dream in the Spanish sunshine to the grey and wet northwest of England.
In this comedy memoir, Brad is catapulted to a strange land in his homeland where complete strangers tell him about their bunions and insist on showing him the holes “they burned” in the crotch of their swimming trunks.
It’s a land of confusion where everything he thought true comes into bread rolls are now called, “barms"; tea is something you eat not drink; almond milk is unheard of because, “yer don't get teats on an almond, stupid!”
It’s a land where Brad is so cold that he’s wearing more coats than a nightclub cloakroom can handle while the locals casually stroll around in their beachwear.
Will fish out of water Brad sink or swim as he adapts to the culture shock of being a soft southerner up north?
One thing’s for sure, you’re in for a pant-pissing, rollercoaster ride of mishaps, mayhem, and meat pies.
So strap on your incontinence pads then scroll up to buy now!
241 pages, Kindle Edition
Published March 9, 2024
159 people are currently reading
17 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews
January 11, 2025
I absolutely devoured this. I bought it on Kindle as the premise of the book sounded an ideal present for a friend who has moved back north after living in the south for nearly 50 years. Thought I better check it out first in case anything offended her first 😆
There are so many laugh out loud moments in the book, too many to mention here. Do read it.
There are so many laugh out loud moments in the book, too many to mention here. Do read it.
January 21, 2025
Just what I needed. Hilarious!
November 30, 2024
As a proud Lancastrian living abroad I loved everything about this book, a lovely taste of home.
March 17, 2024
A Reet Good Laff!
I am a Northerner who bought this book to assist me with tips to further the education of my soft Southern shandy-drinking husband.
Observational comedy is one of my favourite things, so I hooted my way through the author’s encounters with Beryl and her bunions, and am now officially in love with Grandpa Stanley. All characters I can seriously relate to from my own Northern upbringing.
Yet, besides picking up educational tips for my husband (who now wears shorts in the winter, by the way), I have reached a new understanding as to why, during my decades ‘Darf Sarf’, I was viewed with such suspicion for smiling at people on the Tube and engaging in conversation at bus stops.
I thoroughly enjoyed this comical look at Northern life and read it in one sitting.
Highly recommended – for Northerners and Southerners alike!
I am a Northerner who bought this book to assist me with tips to further the education of my soft Southern shandy-drinking husband.
Observational comedy is one of my favourite things, so I hooted my way through the author’s encounters with Beryl and her bunions, and am now officially in love with Grandpa Stanley. All characters I can seriously relate to from my own Northern upbringing.
Yet, besides picking up educational tips for my husband (who now wears shorts in the winter, by the way), I have reached a new understanding as to why, during my decades ‘Darf Sarf’, I was viewed with such suspicion for smiling at people on the Tube and engaging in conversation at bus stops.
I thoroughly enjoyed this comical look at Northern life and read it in one sitting.
Highly recommended – for Northerners and Southerners alike!
July 28, 2024
From a fellow Southener.
I married a lass from Liverpool, so I know how you feel. She sacrificed all to move south, but we still go back, and have strong connections up there. I once went into a crowded fish and chip shop in Liverpool and asked in a loud voice “What sort of fish have you got please?” “ Bloody fish with fins” came the reply, and the customers all had a good laugh at my expense! A great read. Thanks.
I married a lass from Liverpool, so I know how you feel. She sacrificed all to move south, but we still go back, and have strong connections up there. I once went into a crowded fish and chip shop in Liverpool and asked in a loud voice “What sort of fish have you got please?” “ Bloody fish with fins” came the reply, and the customers all had a good laugh at my expense! A great read. Thanks.
August 28, 2024
The author is from the South of England now living in what is known as the North of England. Coming from north of the North of England originally and now living in the North East of England, I find this narative geographically challenging. Which may have led me to find it irritating and difficult to enjoy.
The use of labels that are not strickly compass precise follows national accepted use and labeling most commonly associated with, for example, the weather forecast.
The use of labels that are not strickly compass precise follows national accepted use and labeling most commonly associated with, for example, the weather forecast.
September 3, 2024
Loved this book
I'd recommend this book to anyone who wants an amusing yet sometimes thought provoking book. Bradley and his wife after a ten year career as professional singers in Tenerife, are forced by Covid to relocate to Bolton near Rachel's parents. The results are often hilarious and the observation is very sharp. Go on, read it.
I'd recommend this book to anyone who wants an amusing yet sometimes thought provoking book. Bradley and his wife after a ten year career as professional singers in Tenerife, are forced by Covid to relocate to Bolton near Rachel's parents. The results are often hilarious and the observation is very sharp. Go on, read it.
January 24, 2025
Not too bad, lad.
This book started off quite promising. However, I found some of the chapters to be a little repetitive, hence the reason for losing a star.
Overall, an amusing read for this particular Northerner who's encountered plenty of 'soft, shandy drinking Southerners' over the years.
Great, poignant last chapter.
This book started off quite promising. However, I found some of the chapters to be a little repetitive, hence the reason for losing a star.
Overall, an amusing read for this particular Northerner who's encountered plenty of 'soft, shandy drinking Southerners' over the years.
Great, poignant last chapter.
May 27, 2024
Funniest book I've read in ages.
Loved this book. So many hilarious characters such as the Asian shopkeeper and bunion Beryl. I laughed out loud at some of the stories especially when Pearl your dog had a problem with her rear end. I recommend this book to anyone young or old.
Loved this book. So many hilarious characters such as the Asian shopkeeper and bunion Beryl. I laughed out loud at some of the stories especially when Pearl your dog had a problem with her rear end. I recommend this book to anyone young or old.
September 9, 2024
Bought this due to the reviews about how funny it was, however i struggled at times to find where it was hilarious, an alright book which i found easy to put down and at times a struggle to pick back up.
October 3, 2024
Amusing!!
I have family who live in Essex. After being brought up Up North!! My brother is as Northern as they come but now speaks Essex. Very strange!!
Enjoyed reading Brads antics up north!!
I have family who live in Essex. After being brought up Up North!! My brother is as Northern as they come but now speaks Essex. Very strange!!
Enjoyed reading Brads antics up north!!
November 28, 2024
Being a born and bred northerner I found this book hilarious, so true a reflection of northern folk in which southerners must surely get a different view of life up north, highly recommend for a good chuckle
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September 1, 20244-5 stars. Easygoing, lighthearted read containing little stories about life/society in the North of England compared to how it is down south. Genuinely funny throughout.
December 3, 2024
It was OK. just took a while to get into the book
January 5, 2025
Fabulously funny, lighthearted good read. Can't wait for the next!
January 7, 2025
Lovely Read
I really enjoyed this book, very humorous. I finished it in no time, highly recommended for anyone who fancies a light read.
I really enjoyed this book, very humorous. I finished it in no time, highly recommended for anyone who fancies a light read.
March 18, 2025
Quite entertaining
May 26, 2025
An incredibly funny and entertaining memoir of one man’s move to the North of England. Full of fascinating characters and really funny conversations!
August 2, 2025
Amazing and really enjoyed the Bolton accent parts
October 10, 2025
love it
Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews