SPOILERS
Confessions: The Paris Mysteries is a disaster. This book is not a book. It is a collection of random plot lines and unnecessary events, strung together in no particular order. We have a house fire, an accusation of murder, a drug abusing brother, a dead but not dead sister, a mysterious and long-lost, ex-commando uncle, an all consuming love, the betrayal of a best friend, a momentarily missing child, a mental institutionalization, a few new songs, perverted letters from the other uncle to the dead sister, and we all move to Paris. That's not even close to all of the strange and disjointed things that happen.
The first two books of the Confessions series were great. I liked the main character, Tandy Angel, and I liked the plot of the dead parents who ran the pharmaceutical company and who dosed their children with experimental drugs that made them smart and artsy and athletic, but since then, this book has gone off the deep end and completely diverged from the main plot line. All we got in this book that even talked about what happened in those books were letters of understanding that Tandy wrote to her parents. Nothing from their old lives was an issue anymore, Matty got to go back to playing professional football almost immediately after being accused of three murders and being torn up in the press for many weeks. None of that mattered to his employers, who rely on the public for much of their income!
It was also blatantly obvious that this book was written by two authors. There were two different voices throughout the whole thing and the disjointed plot was the result. I can imagine the process of writing it being something like this:
"We should start with this..."
"Okay, let me just write this in, I've always wanted to write something like this,"
"Wait, hold on. I wasn't finished with this part, I'll just add more in here without reading the part you just wrote."
"Alright, now we'll do some reminiscing."
"After that I'll add some action."
"I'm putting in more action of a different variety because I forgot that you just wrote some."
It wasn't very realistic either. They went to school for nine pages and three periods before getting kicked out. Tandy had the ability to relocate the family over the phone and without permission in the middle of the night. I don't really think that would be possible for a sixteen year old girl in the real world, even if she does know every landmark in Bhutan in the language of Dzongkha. They let things be possible in this book that shouldn't be made possible. Hugo navigated the metro and found his favorite restaurant (A place they've only been to once before) in a strange city where he does not natively speak the language. And Tandy somehow knew he would show up there.
Finally, the emotions that Tandy goes through are incredibly ridiculous. She does have the excuse of just getting off of the emotion reducing pills that her parents put her on, but it's completely over exaggerated and I laughed every time that she was sorting through her feelings. I nearly suffocated in the beginning when she reunited with her long lost and accidentally suppressed boyfriend. My favorite line was this, "Our knees touched and our feelings arced between us like lightning." I didn't know that could happen, I hope it doesn't hurt and I dearly hope it never happens to me.
Overall, The Paris Mysteries was inconsistent, not well thought out, superficial and careless. I don't recommend it unless you've read the other books and, like me, have to read it because you already paid for it.