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Unveiled: How an American Woman Found Her Way Through Politics, Love and Obedience in the Middle East
In the early 1980s, Deborah Jacobs was an ordinary Lebanese American college student from Long Island, New York. By the end of the decade, she would bear witness to the making of international history. Her story begins in graduate school: through a series of chance encounters, young Deborah was introduced to Marwan Kanafani, a dashing former soccer star turned high-ranking Palestinian diplomat who was working at the United Nations. A political dynamo with movie-star charm, Marwan swept Deborah off her feet and into a marriage that kept her in the company of diplomats, dignitaries, world leaders, international glamour and intrigue. Although exciting, this lifestyle also isolated Deborah increasingly from her independent, American way of living, creating a rift that would end their marriage.Marwan's profile was on the rise, and with it came a number of crucial connections for Deborah: while his involvement with the PLO intensified, eventually resulting in his appointment as senior advisor and spokesperson for Yasir Arafat, she formed friendships with such women as Suha Arafat, Queen Dina of Jordan, and other women married to Arab leaders.
After her divorce, when these women agreed to tell their stories of struggle and survival for a book, Deborah traveled to the Middle East to record them, planning to join her children, who were on the West Bank visiting their father. To her shock and horror, he refused to return the children to her.
Deborah stayed in the Middle East for several years to be near her children, finding strength in the women whose lives she documented and whose incredible stories are told in this book. She was eventually able to arrange the return of her children when they were evacuated to another country during a Palestinian uprising. The story of her journey, intertwined with those of the wives of the Arab leaders, takes the reader into an otherwise inaccessible and cloistered world populated by larger-than-life characters living out all-too-human dramas.
Culture, politics, and family collide in this gripping front-row perspective of the Middle East conflict and of the courageous women working behind the scenes for peace and challenging the patriarchal traditions of their homeland.
After her divorce, when these women agreed to tell their stories of struggle and survival for a book, Deborah traveled to the Middle East to record them, planning to join her children, who were on the West Bank visiting their father. To her shock and horror, he refused to return the children to her.
Deborah stayed in the Middle East for several years to be near her children, finding strength in the women whose lives she documented and whose incredible stories are told in this book. She was eventually able to arrange the return of her children when they were evacuated to another country during a Palestinian uprising. The story of her journey, intertwined with those of the wives of the Arab leaders, takes the reader into an otherwise inaccessible and cloistered world populated by larger-than-life characters living out all-too-human dramas.
Culture, politics, and family collide in this gripping front-row perspective of the Middle East conflict and of the courageous women working behind the scenes for peace and challenging the patriarchal traditions of their homeland.
272 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2008
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161 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 28 of 28 reviews
April 13, 2009
**Book club members, beware of spoilers!***
I was so grateful when this stupid, spoiled American couldn't choose when to see her kids becuase something finally happened to her. It made the 130 pages of crap I had to read beforehand mean something. But then I continued to be disappointed. Two of the biggest problems in the Middle East are its treatment of women and its reliance on nepotism. She was dumb enough to let her children be taken to Palestine and hadn't bothered to educate herself on her (lack of) rights, especially in family law. But then, she relies on nepotism to secure a job, talk to elite Palestinian women (an oxymoron?), and eventually calls on her US cabinet minister cousin (Donna Shalala) to get her kids out when the intifada starts. Obviously the nepotism didn't bother her.
I would like to know more about her father, mostly because I want to know more about the unregulated insurance he did time for and how much of that money went to support his jet-setting brat. It was hard to feel sorry for her when her resources were cut off by his prison sentence.
However, I don't want to be too negative here. I did get some things out of this book, which are leads on books about Suha Arafat (wife of Yasar), Raymonda Tamil (Suha's mom), and Toujan al-Faisal (Jordanian activist and almost convicted apostate). Along with The Caged Virgin and The Nine Parts of Desire and A Thousand Splendid Suns, they might make a more compelling statement about women in Islam and why they need to rebel. Also, I'd like to give the author credit for not making her kids part of a tit-for-tat battle with their father. She was very atuned to politics of divorce and did a great favor to her children by not dragging them into such a mire.
I was so grateful when this stupid, spoiled American couldn't choose when to see her kids becuase something finally happened to her. It made the 130 pages of crap I had to read beforehand mean something. But then I continued to be disappointed. Two of the biggest problems in the Middle East are its treatment of women and its reliance on nepotism. She was dumb enough to let her children be taken to Palestine and hadn't bothered to educate herself on her (lack of) rights, especially in family law. But then, she relies on nepotism to secure a job, talk to elite Palestinian women (an oxymoron?), and eventually calls on her US cabinet minister cousin (Donna Shalala) to get her kids out when the intifada starts. Obviously the nepotism didn't bother her.
I would like to know more about her father, mostly because I want to know more about the unregulated insurance he did time for and how much of that money went to support his jet-setting brat. It was hard to feel sorry for her when her resources were cut off by his prison sentence.
However, I don't want to be too negative here. I did get some things out of this book, which are leads on books about Suha Arafat (wife of Yasar), Raymonda Tamil (Suha's mom), and Toujan al-Faisal (Jordanian activist and almost convicted apostate). Along with The Caged Virgin and The Nine Parts of Desire and A Thousand Splendid Suns, they might make a more compelling statement about women in Islam and why they need to rebel. Also, I'd like to give the author credit for not making her kids part of a tit-for-tat battle with their father. She was very atuned to politics of divorce and did a great favor to her children by not dragging them into such a mire.
December 19, 2008
I could not put this book down. It is about an American woman who marries a charming but controlling high powered Middle East diplomat she meets at the UN. He eventually becomes Arafat's senior advisor and she lives behind the scenes in very interesting political circles. There are intimate stories of world leaders that would be hard to find anywhere else, She eventiually divorces and her father who is as grandiose and narcissistic as her husband goes on trial for a white collar crime and she loses everything. But she begins to emerge from the control of these powerful men and her journey is beautifully honest and inspirirng. She contacts the wives of Arab leaders she had known during her marriage thought were very courageous. She travels to the Middle East to record their stories and learn more about them. They reveal their lives to her,I won't tell you what happens while she is there but she faces her challanges with grace and strength and she learns about her her own power through the visits she has with these First Ladies and Queens. Wonder story,
December 24, 2019
Deborah Kanafani had a front row seat to an interesting time in middle east history. While I appreciated Ms. Kanafani's experiences, they were told in an anecdotal format that just brushed the surface of her experiences. The book is described as Ms. Kanafani's interviews with prominent middle eastern leaders' wives and how they dealt with being treated as second class citizens. However, the book is more aptly described as a series of short paragraphs about Ms. Kanafani's interactions with people she met who played a huge role in that region's history. All of this was played against the background of the dissolution of her marriage and Ms. Kanafani's tragic separation from her children. Both storylines could have been the subject of separate books. Like the typical dilemna of the working mother, Ms. Kanafani was unable to tell both stories in a way that did justice to either. The storyline itself was fascinating, but the depth of the book left me a bit unsatisfied.
April 6, 2018
Interesting book about mid-east relations from the point of view of an insider who personally knew the major personalities in Palestine including Arafat and a number of influential women. The author was married to a Palestinian man who for a time, took her children from her, but she remained part of their lives and eventually took them home to the States. Provides an interesting perspective.
February 25, 2019
If you like reading about how the fabulously rich live, love and think about politics, you might enjoy this book more than I. I had absolutely no affection for the woman who chose this life, then found out her husband wanted another wife. She knew before she married what his culture was like.
July 18, 2020
Enjoyed this book. It makes you realise the way women are treated in the Middle East.
February 6, 2023
this woman had a lot of patience, it was a good read.
September 12, 2012
This is one of those books that stays with you after you have finished reading. This is one book that I know will be on my mind for many days to come. A story about an american marrying a man from the middle east, and with time had to live with those rules that "man created in the name of religion" because it is a man's world we live in.
she tells of her struggle to stay with her kids and be their mother "even from a distance"
And the story is told around the time of the war in the middle east, and her struggle of living in the midst of chaos because her "children are supposed to be living with their dad in his homeland and in his world"
We read about love and hate, birth and death, about the cruelty of war which no one who has lived through it can forget or forgive.
and we read about those women who would not accept the "rules created by men in the name of religion" and women who were strong enough to face the cruelty of those men and the cruelty of society.
I found this book a strong one, interesting, and yet simple to follow.
One of the books I would reccommend for everyone to read.
Many passages in the book that I loved, but will only quote two
"I had holes burnt into my stomach with cigarettes while the soldiers demanded information about people whom I did not know. All the while, I recited national songs to myself, to help me endure the pain. This was senseless and unjustified I cannot say 'I forgive you; let's turn the page and moved on.'
I stopped pressuring him. I never tried to impose my peace on " (p. 185)
"The pressure and the anonymous warnings continued unabated, and she found the stress physically exhausting. Her baby was born prematurely and died several hours later. Once this happened, she said,"I felt my baby has given its life for this conflict. It made me militant. I thought, it's going to be worth it. I never felt fear after that. No one could make me pay a higher price." " (p. 199)
she tells of her struggle to stay with her kids and be their mother "even from a distance"
And the story is told around the time of the war in the middle east, and her struggle of living in the midst of chaos because her "children are supposed to be living with their dad in his homeland and in his world"
We read about love and hate, birth and death, about the cruelty of war which no one who has lived through it can forget or forgive.
and we read about those women who would not accept the "rules created by men in the name of religion" and women who were strong enough to face the cruelty of those men and the cruelty of society.
I found this book a strong one, interesting, and yet simple to follow.
One of the books I would reccommend for everyone to read.
Many passages in the book that I loved, but will only quote two
"I had holes burnt into my stomach with cigarettes while the soldiers demanded information about people whom I did not know. All the while, I recited national songs to myself, to help me endure the pain. This was senseless and unjustified I cannot say 'I forgive you; let's turn the page and moved on.'
I stopped pressuring him. I never tried to impose my peace on " (p. 185)
"The pressure and the anonymous warnings continued unabated, and she found the stress physically exhausting. Her baby was born prematurely and died several hours later. Once this happened, she said,"I felt my baby has given its life for this conflict. It made me militant. I thought, it's going to be worth it. I never felt fear after that. No one could make me pay a higher price." " (p. 199)
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January 7, 2009Unveiled: How an American Woman Found Her Way Through Politics, Love, and Obedience in the Middle East,
Deborah Kanafani, Narrated by Suzanne Toren, produced by Recorded Books.
The author’s family was from Lebanon but were American citizens. Deborah was raised in a world which veered between her mother and stepfather’s quieter life, to her father’s life of associating with the richest and wealthiest men, including kings and politicians, in the Middle East. She married a man who became one of the highest ranking diplomats working with the Palestinians engaged in the peace process which ultimately broke down, leaving much of Palestine in the hands of militant fundamentalists who claim to have all the answers and to have derived them from the Moslem religion. We see Deborah’s own life, her disillusionment with her husband, their ultimate divorce, and his “keeping the children”, which a husband in many of the Middle East countries has a right to do. She had to work through many layers of politics to gain access to her children again. In the meantime, Deborah, a journalist, involved herself in talking with the various remarkable women in the Middle East who risked death, divorce, and separation from their families, in order to bring women a voice and rights and a chance at more equality in the Middle East. Many of the powerful men, such as Nasser Arafat, and the King of Jordan, to name two, had strong wives educated in the U.S. or other European countries. Such women, working underground and against the militant fundamentalist males, work toward bringing respect and visibility for women into the Middle East. This book is compelling, especially after Deborah stopped being so starry-eyed about the wealth and charm of men and began to think and act for herself.
Deborah Kanafani, Narrated by Suzanne Toren, produced by Recorded Books.
The author’s family was from Lebanon but were American citizens. Deborah was raised in a world which veered between her mother and stepfather’s quieter life, to her father’s life of associating with the richest and wealthiest men, including kings and politicians, in the Middle East. She married a man who became one of the highest ranking diplomats working with the Palestinians engaged in the peace process which ultimately broke down, leaving much of Palestine in the hands of militant fundamentalists who claim to have all the answers and to have derived them from the Moslem religion. We see Deborah’s own life, her disillusionment with her husband, their ultimate divorce, and his “keeping the children”, which a husband in many of the Middle East countries has a right to do. She had to work through many layers of politics to gain access to her children again. In the meantime, Deborah, a journalist, involved herself in talking with the various remarkable women in the Middle East who risked death, divorce, and separation from their families, in order to bring women a voice and rights and a chance at more equality in the Middle East. Many of the powerful men, such as Nasser Arafat, and the King of Jordan, to name two, had strong wives educated in the U.S. or other European countries. Such women, working underground and against the militant fundamentalist males, work toward bringing respect and visibility for women into the Middle East. This book is compelling, especially after Deborah stopped being so starry-eyed about the wealth and charm of men and began to think and act for herself.
May 18, 2008
One of those culture-clash-relationship stories, in this case a woman who marries a powerful man (high ranking Palestinian diplomat, photos of him at Arafat's side, etc.
So the author is swept off her feet, and lives the fast life in a whirlwind of high-level politics, etc.
so, fast forward to the inevitable divorce, the kids are living with the father on the West Bank, and (big surprise) he won't return them to her.
So she stays in the Middle East for years to be around her kids, and writes the stories of women married to Arab leaders (interesting reading) -- she eventually gets the kids when they are evacuated during a Palestinian uprising.
I'm not sure I agree with the review that this book shows the behind-the-scenes efforts of the women married to these leaders to work for peace, but I did enjoy looking at their lives.
I sometimes think things we read move us to say "aha" and see how the story reinforces our beliefs...I worry that I am way too set in my ways and ideas and not nearly open-minded enough especially about politics...but a big thing of mine, reinforced for me by this book, is Actions Have Consequences.
Good reading about politics, families, relationships.
So the author is swept off her feet, and lives the fast life in a whirlwind of high-level politics, etc.
so, fast forward to the inevitable divorce, the kids are living with the father on the West Bank, and (big surprise) he won't return them to her.
So she stays in the Middle East for years to be around her kids, and writes the stories of women married to Arab leaders (interesting reading) -- she eventually gets the kids when they are evacuated during a Palestinian uprising.
I'm not sure I agree with the review that this book shows the behind-the-scenes efforts of the women married to these leaders to work for peace, but I did enjoy looking at their lives.
I sometimes think things we read move us to say "aha" and see how the story reinforces our beliefs...I worry that I am way too set in my ways and ideas and not nearly open-minded enough especially about politics...but a big thing of mine, reinforced for me by this book, is Actions Have Consequences.
Good reading about politics, families, relationships.
May 30, 2014
This book was up and down for me. The whole first section I found mostly uninteresting and it just seemed like she was more name-dropping than anything else, listing famous or rich people she had met but she didn't seem to have anything of depth to say about them.
However, as the story went on parts of it were quite captivating - her experiences in middle east, particularly as related to her children, some of the people she met who were doing courageous peacemaking work.
But all in all it seemed like it was part of four books (one about meeting rich and famous people, one about her relationship with her husband and children, one about the treatment of women in the middle east, and one about peacemakers). I would have rather she took one of these (well, maybe not the famous people) and followed it through more in depth. She didn't seem to have much in the way of observations or feelings to share, but mostly just told what happened. It felt like a lot was missing that would have made it a lot more interesting to me.
However, as the story went on parts of it were quite captivating - her experiences in middle east, particularly as related to her children, some of the people she met who were doing courageous peacemaking work.
But all in all it seemed like it was part of four books (one about meeting rich and famous people, one about her relationship with her husband and children, one about the treatment of women in the middle east, and one about peacemakers). I would have rather she took one of these (well, maybe not the famous people) and followed it through more in depth. She didn't seem to have much in the way of observations or feelings to share, but mostly just told what happened. It felt like a lot was missing that would have made it a lot more interesting to me.
May 20, 2008
Subtitle "how an American woman found her way through politics, love and obedience in the middle east" says most of it.
The author serves on the boards of several Israeli-Palestinian peace organizations, has written and produced programs on children's and women's rights for UNICEF and various European countries.
The book is her story of marrying into the Arab world by marrying the senior advisor of Yasir Arafat. The book includes details of her friendships with the wives of Palestinian leaders. The book offers a look at the middle-east conflict from the Palestinian point of view - one that is rarely put on paper.
The sadness of her struggle to regain custody of her children from their father who insisted they live with him in the middle east after the divorce is heart wrenching.
Well written, compelling story.I couldn't put it down until I finished it.
The author serves on the boards of several Israeli-Palestinian peace organizations, has written and produced programs on children's and women's rights for UNICEF and various European countries.
The book is her story of marrying into the Arab world by marrying the senior advisor of Yasir Arafat. The book includes details of her friendships with the wives of Palestinian leaders. The book offers a look at the middle-east conflict from the Palestinian point of view - one that is rarely put on paper.
The sadness of her struggle to regain custody of her children from their father who insisted they live with him in the middle east after the divorce is heart wrenching.
Well written, compelling story.I couldn't put it down until I finished it.
January 27, 2015
I'm really disapointed with this book. Deborah told more about other peoples lives than she did her own.
Deborah's father provided a comfortable life for her and her two children and when he was no longer able to provide for her she moved to her exhusbands country expecting him to provide for her. What she got was a slap in the face! Her exhusband told her the children would be living with him from then on.
In my opinion Deborah wasn't to upset about her children being taken from her since she had mare than one chance to get the kids and run back to the US. She claims she didn't bother trying to take the kids because she didn't want to upset them but at the same time she says she was checking into ways to bring them back home.
Some of the stories in this book were interesting but for the most part this book bored the hell out of me....
Deborah's father provided a comfortable life for her and her two children and when he was no longer able to provide for her she moved to her exhusbands country expecting him to provide for her. What she got was a slap in the face! Her exhusband told her the children would be living with him from then on.
In my opinion Deborah wasn't to upset about her children being taken from her since she had mare than one chance to get the kids and run back to the US. She claims she didn't bother trying to take the kids because she didn't want to upset them but at the same time she says she was checking into ways to bring them back home.
Some of the stories in this book were interesting but for the most part this book bored the hell out of me....
October 3, 2012
I was divided on this book and found it dragged. It was not until the middle of the book that Kanafani captured me into this book. It shows what happens with women who have married into the Arabic culture and what happens when the woman wants to exercise her freedoms. I recommend reading this account so as to point out to women the difficulties in mixing western ways with middle east ways. She loses her children and only owing to her contacts is she able to stay an important part of her children's lives.
December 6, 2008
I was disappointed by this book. Contrary to the title, the author never wore the veil and saw the Middle East through the eyes of a privileged Westerner given unusual access because of her husband and later ex-husband's connections. It got more interesting toward the end as she moved to Gaza, at some personal sacrifice, to be near her children. But I learned more from other books I've read on women in this part of the world.
March 21, 2011
Interesting story of an American who chose to voluntarily move to the Middle East after her husband took her children from her in their divorce. It certainly isn't an "edge of your seat" type of book on women in this part of the world, but it is a unique perspective on the topic. She also highlights women in the area who are working for peace and equality, which was another area that is largely untouched by authors and the media.
November 13, 2010
Very interesting memoir. So many interesting dynamics in her personal relationships. Now I want to read the memoirs of her ex-husband and many of the men and women she recorded personal histories for. It also makes me want to go back and read materials I devoured in college about the Palestinian, Israeli and Arab leaders.
May 5, 2009
good but not as educational as other books that I have read regarding struggles of women in the middle east. Very surface and political.I couldn't relate to this women very well when it came to being a mother either.
May 1, 2010
I found the author's portion to be too self-aggrandizing, but the info from the Palestinian view point regarding Israel/Palestine was very interesting. The portions about significant middle eastern women were fascinating.
February 5, 2008
My cousin is the author of this book!
May 13, 2008
Lots of info about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, which was interesting. But the personal story of the author didn't really engage me.
Want to read
May 13, 2008Just listened to the author, Deborah Kanafani, on Fresh Air and she sounds very interesting. Perhaps the next library pick up.
April 6, 2009
I love books like this, giving a first-hand account of life in different cultures. It really opens up your eyes and makes you grateful for the life you have.
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February 22, 2010ok book about mide east
September 22, 2010
Very interesting look at the world of Israeli and Palestinian conflicts. Also a very rare look at Yasar Arafat's private life.
September 21, 2012
Interesting. Will be reading more on this topic because of this book.
July 22, 2014
The subject was interesting--especially the stories of the other women she met and interviewed.
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May 5, 2008day to day details behind a Palistinian viewpoint of Arafat and women who try to fight sharia law
Displaying 1 - 28 of 28 reviews