التعافي من الرفض

by Leslie Becker-Phelps, سعاد لطفي (Translator)

هل لديك خوف من الرفض؟ إذا كان الأمر كذلك، فأنت لست وحدك. لقد عانى الجميعُ تقريبًا الألمَ الذي يأتي مع الشعور بالتجاهل أو الرفض أو التخلِّي.. سواء كنت تعاني الرفضَ في علاقة رومانسية أو في العمل أو مع الأصدقاء، فبمجرد انتهائك من هذا الكتاب ستتمتع بالمرونة اللازمة للتعافي بسرعة والتركيز على ما يجعلك مميزًا وفريدًا. إذا كان خوفك مُعوِّقًا لدرجة أنه يمنعك من استغلال الفرص أو إقامة علاقات جديدة أو تجربة أشياء جديدة، فقد حان الوقت للتغيير. يحدث الرفض للجميع وهو جزء طبيعي من الحياة. لكنك ستتعلم مهارات للتعامل مع هذا الرفض، ستكتسب الثقة والوعي الذاتي والمرونة اللازمة للنهوض مجددًا، حتى عندما تطرحك الحياة أرضًا. كُتب من خلال بصيرةِ إخصائية نفسيةٍ وخبيرةٍ في نظرية التعلُّق. ليساعدك هذا الدليل الرحيم على تنمية المتانة النفسية التي تحتاجها للتعافي من الرفض، والتوقف عن الخوف منه، والعيش على أكمل وجه.

Genres: Self Help, Psychology, Nonfiction, Mental Health

264 pages, Paperback

First published December 1, 2019

About the author

Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD, is a licensed psychologist, author, and speaker. She is the author of The Insecure in Love Workbook, Bouncing Back from Rejection, and Insecure in Love. She writes the Authentically You blog and the Making Change blog for Psychology Today. Becker-Phelps previously served at Somerset Medical Center in Somerville, NJ, as director of women's psychological services and chief of psychology in the department of psychiatry. She lives with her husband and two sons in Basking Ridge, NJ. Find out more about her at www.drbecker-phelps.com.

Reviews

[Ell · Rating 5 out of 5]

I manage a support group and I cannot express how helpful Bouncing Back from Rejection by Leslie Becker-Phelps is! The book is free from the rhetoric of many books in its genre. I appreciate the thoughtful, insightful, straight-to-the point style of the author. It’s grounded in solid theory and research.

[Paula · Rating 5 out of 5]

All of us have felt or dealt with rejection at one time. Bouncing Back From Rejection by Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD helps us understand and identify the science behind the theory of attachment and offers useful strategies to make changes. Dr. Becker-Phelps provides exercises that are a roadmap to enhance self-worth and create positive relationships. The book is down to earth but well-grounded in research.

After finishing Bouncing Back From Rejection, a reader will have the tools and knowledge to build resilience, gain self-awareness, and feel confident with themselves and in their relationships. A very good resource to have on the shelf and especially for counselors and therapists to use as a tool.

[JZ · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dr. Becker-Phelps’ book “Bouncing Back from Rejection: Building the Resilience You Need to Get Back Up When Life Knocks You Down” offers a refreshing alternative to other self-help books that often only focus on generic advice-giving and surface solutions to life’s serious problems. In her book, Dr. Becker-Phelps goes beyond transitory “quick fixes” and instead gives her readers the opportunity to connect to and understand their inner selves through the deeper and longer-lasting approach of “compassionate self-awareness”. Through her articulate, readable, and informative writing, Dr. Becker-Phelps helps her readers understand how their individual attachment style influences their reaction to rejection. By working through Dr. Becker-Phelps’ different domains of STEAM ( Sensations, Thoughts, Emotions, Actions, and Mentalization), her readers can develop an in-depth awareness of how they view themselves and others, an approach that can lead to positive and long-lasting growth in more effectively coping with the pain of rejection.

As a clinical psychologist, I highly recommend this book to both lay and professional audiences.

[R Wolf · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dr Leslie Becker-Phelps is an internationally known expert on human relations and someone I have has the pleasure of working with in person as a member of the NJ Psychological Association. This book, like her other work, represents her thoughtfulness, professionalism and helpfulness in elucidating complex topics in such a way that they fully resonate with the reader’s direct experience. Looking at this book through the lens of my own clinical and personal experience, I find this book to be highly relevant to a society with increasing communication problems, not deceasing ones, actually because of all of our technology and busy lives that while having more “stuff” than we ever had before — we are actually losing EACH OTHER. This book helps one move past that and reconnect to the human race. Charity begins at home. We must reach self acceptance and mindfully make peace with the history, the discomfort, and take responsibility for what we can while absolving ourselves of responsibility for that outside our wheelhouse. This is very hard to do, but Dr Becker-Phelps gives us a template for understanding rejection and moving forward in a healthy way.

[Paul Dee · Rating 5 out of 5]

Bouncing Back from Rejection does not promise to eliminate rejection anxiety, nor does it put forward a simple, pop-psychology solution to the complex question. Instead, Leslie Becker-Phelps presents a step-by-step process to help readers recognize, understand and deal with their individual needs and fears.

Not a quick fix, but a thoughtful, easy-to-follow process to help build resilience when feeling rebuffed, dismissed, criticized, refuted, humiliated or abandoned.

Whether your fear of rejection manifests as simple discomfort or profound, immobilizing panic, you are not helpless or alone. Within the pages of Bouncing Back from Rejection you will find assistance, answers, and most importantly, a pathway toward feeling secure in romantic, social and professional relationships.

Many have tackled the complex issue of rejection, of course, but perhaps not with the same insight and understanding that Dr. Becker-Phelps brings to the subject. A fresh, compassionate and open-minded approach that asks readers only to follow the clear directions pointing to better relationships and happier lives.
####

[TheBookGroupie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Bouncing Back from Rejection presents a sensible and respectful method for changing the way you feel when things don't work out in relationships. It isn't just about personal relationships; the method works in any situation in which you have divulged an idea or expended effort and not received the feedback you hoped for. Patiently and clearly, author Leslie Becker-Phelps walks you through five facets of internalizing and re-framing your connections with other people. Every one of these facets (sensations, thoughts, emotions, actions, and mentalizing) comes with suggested activities to help you practice and progress through the method and develop better thought habits. My only qualm about the book is that these suggested activities are in a much smaller and lighter font than the rest of the text. The content of the book is great though. I recommend it for anybody who is ready to stop feeling like they've been put down.
Linda Tashbook - author of Family Guide to Mental Illness and the Law

[Louise Foerster · Rating 1 out of 5]

As marketer and writer, I know rejection intimately. We've come to a kind of peace; while it's never easy to be rejected, it is no longer soul-smashing or silencing as it might have been. Therefore, I anticipated a plunge into a wise, deep, and powerful exploration of and triumph over the worst that rejection can do. BOUNCING BACK FROM REJECTION by Leslie Becker-Phelps was a disappointment. Every now and again, a sentence stood out or an insight struck home, but for the most part, it was flat-footed, deadly dry and dull. Those sparkling, insightful bits make me hope that Ms. Becker-Phelps continues to assist the ones who see her for help....and shares her expertise and wisdom in person rather than on the pages of this book.

[Charles Alcock · Rating 5 out of 5]

I hadn't appreciated the extent to which I must have suppressed feelings about rejection over the years until I read Dr Becker-Phelps' excellent new book. Nor, had I previously considered the many ways that rejection, and the pain that follows, can manifest itself. Bouncing Back from Rejection paints vivid pictures of how the legacy of rejection can weigh heavily on all of us in ways we likely don't acknowledge. The book provides a clear formula for deconstructing your own sense of rejection and exercises to develop the resilience that can mitigate the ways it can undermine our happiness. It's a clear and concise read, crisply written and insightful. Heartily recommended.

[Ronnie Weyl · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a practitioner of mindfulness, I thoroughly enjoyed reading "Bouncing Back from Rejection." I discovered a new language to name familiar thoughts and feelings, and I gained deeper insight into my inner life, as well as the “common humanity” we all share in relationship to one another. The book provides thoughtful and engaging exercises that require us to hit the pause button, be curious, pay attention to the moment, and do some serious inner exploration that, for me, led to greater self-awareness and self-compassion, and equally important, a greater awareness of and compassion for others in my life.

Ronnie W., Founding President, Ohr Tikvah Jewish Healing Center

[Hugh Osborn · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a thoughtful, well-written book about dealing with a problem everyone faces at some point: rejection. Whether in our work lives, love lives or with friends and family, we all face rejection. Dr. Becker-Phelps provides a really good framework for understanding rejection and, more important, working to resolve the often-nasty psychological residue after you get rejected. This is not just a book but a full program of exercises to dig into yourself and become stronger. The author explores how to understand and deal with sensations, thinking, emotions, actions and mental responses to rejection with good examples and exercises. A great resource!!

[Nicole · Rating 5 out of 5]

A really well-written and thoughtful book. I truly learned a lot on how to approach and react to my thoughts and emotions. Also, it made me appreciate that so much of who I am today is based on the people I've been raised by and grown up with. It also made me realize that having a strong model of self and building compassionate self-awareness is the foundation necessary to building positive and healthy relationships. Having mindful thoughts and truly thinking about why you feel certain things is crucial to understanding yourself and being mature enough to interact with friends, partners, and family.

[Scott Corbin · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a lay person, I finally understand how I always dealt with rejection. While this book GAVE me the power of understanding, it GIVES me the power to make my own changes...changes that take place within me and allow me to face my everyday.
Thank you for writing such an easy to reach, easier to understand road map to my future growth. The examples and activities listed within this book helped reinforced my learning and solidified my confidence and strength.

[Brian11374 · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is an extremely insightful journey through an emotion that we all feel. However, we don't always experience the pain of rejection the same way. The discussions on all the various ways that each of experience rejection, and the gentle advice on how we can overcome these unique challenges is very practical and usable. I highly recommend this book to anyone interested in improving self-awareness and self-improvement.

[Kathryn Cortese · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dr. Becker-Phelps hits the bull's eye of the target with Bouncing Back from Rejection! In her readable, relatable style, she provides exercises to start or continue your path to resiliency. These activities provide skill-filled steps and opportunities for reflection and incite to progress to becoming a more vibrant and confident self.

[Sidney Burke · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book changed my life. I am so glad I read this in my early 20s — it deepened my understanding of how I relate to other people, and of course strengthened my belief in attachment styles! The book has journaling exercises to do along with it that I highly recommend. The content is heavy and thought provoking. I would recommend this to anyone (and have!!)

[Andrew Persaud · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book helped me to realize I was being too self-critical of my work and myself. The book contained many meaningful examples and provided self-help exercise’s I can do on my own. I would recommend it to anyone. A book that helps you help yourself.

[Skin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you for writing a book that I feel was tailored just for me. I have such a low self esteem. Thank you for giving me the tools to realize my self worth. This book is 5 star. Thank you Dr. Becker-Phelps.

[Erica Metzger Norquist · Rating 5 out of 5]

I highly recommend this guide to anyone on a personal or professional journey. Readers of all backgrounds can benefit from the author's insights on how to build resilience for life. If you want to harness the power of compassion and positive thinking, read this book. I will be reading it again!

[Alexandra · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book did nothing for me. I didn’t like the wya the author made up stories about people, to help you relate. It just didn’t feel genuine. The self-help part of the book was okay, but I just didn’t seem to get anything from it.

[Aaron · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great self-help book for those who have a hard time connecting with others and making friends. As a mental health therapist I can say the interventions in this book are sound and supported by research.

[Julie Forbes · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this book written with compassion and great skill, it was an eye-opening journey!

[Jim Forbes · Rating 5 out of 5]

Take your time and savor this book!

[Heather Bennett · Rating 5 out of 5]

Bouncing Back from Rejection is a fantastic book that offers some great advice and techniques. It is well written and easy to read.

[Lydia · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is alright, but I overall didn't find it as helpful as I had hoped. A lot of the activities were just too odd for me and the book gets repetitive after awhile.

[Yasmin Esam · Rating 1 out of 5]

الترجمه بشعه

[Aida · Rating 5 out of 5]

عجبني جدا ومفيد اوي الكتاب ملئ بتمارين تعملها وانشطه عشان تستكشف نفسك وحيل لانقاذ نفسك
انصح بيه جدا

[Hayam Al Rashed · Rating 4 out of 5]

هذا الكتاب جعلني أنتبه لفكرة لم أكن أربطها بالرفض سابقًا:
أن العطاء المفرط أحيانًا لا يكون كرمًا، بل محاولة غير واعية للحفاظ على القبول.

قراءة هادئة، لكنها تترك أثرًا طويلًا.

[Hegazy Mohamed · Rating 4 out of 5]

كتب علمي ، عملي ، محترم ، صادق و منهجي و ثري و مفيد.

[Mahmoud Khalifa · Rating 4 out of 5]

من أفضل كتب المساعدة الذاتية لأن التدريبات اللي فيه مختلفة ومميزة
مفيد جدا لأي شخص مر بتجربة رفض خاصة على مستوى العلاقات

[Mariam Gawwad · Rating 1 out of 5]

نجمة واحدة عشان الترجمة أبشع ما يكون
هو أي اختصار أ.أ.م.أ.ت ؟؟
يعني ك مترجم بيشرح ع الأقل الاختصار في الصفحة من تحت مش يكررها كل شوية ؟ هي دي ترجمة جوجل ولا أيه ؟