What Made That Feel So Hard? : The Unstacking Method

by Lauren Wells

What Made That Feel So Hard? is the foundational book for the Unstacking Method - a methodology based on The Grief Tower by Lauren Wells that has been used by coaches, counselors, and in professional certifications worldwide to help adults and children to work through past and current grief. This book offers an easy-to-read, gentle approach to looking back on the hardships of your past and seeing how those have influenced your present. Through personal anecdotes and stories, Lauren guides you through the process of unstacking so that you can move forward in healthier ways. This book is written to individuals as well as practitioners desiring to use the Unstacking Method in professional or informal settings.

206 pages, Kindle Edition

Published March 1, 2024

Reviews

[Elizabeth Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Journey With A Friend

It was my great pleasure to read an advanced copy of this incredible book. I think the most surprising thing for me was how I learned even more about Lauren through reading this book than I had previously known in our multiple years of friendship. Lauren pours her heart into this book so that the reader can journey into their own history, feeling like they're doing that with a friend. A friend who's been there and who knows how hard it is. Lauren is an expert guide through the work of grief processing and through this strategy - and incredibly helpful metaphor - of unstacking your grief tower.

[Christy Carmean · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is an absolute must-read for anyone who is dealing with grief, loss, or trauma or is helping someone who is. Lauren does a great job of explaining why and how unprocessed grief can play such a huge negative part in our lives. Originally her Unstacking Method was written for Third Culture Kids in her first books, but this one takes the practice and expands it to be used by anyone and everyone. I highly recommend this book for all parent and teachers.

[Cesar Steve Cerna · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent, easy to read and understand

Wells did a great job explaing the importance of understanding the impact of grief on a person's life. Great resource for counseling or for yourself.

[Scott Storey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Healing is a process

So thankful for the method of unstacking that can help lead to healing. I’m hopefully on the front end of this healing journey that will bring complete healing of my relationships with family members who have expressed their grief towers are tumbling.

[Brian Virtue · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent, accessible, practical, and creative grief resource. Great chapter on helping kids as well.

[Catherine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Whether you want to unstack a tall Grief Tower or help prevent one from forming in the first place, this is your book! Not only does Lauren give the tools to process your own grief and trauma, but she also shares the way in which we can come alongside children during their own hardships to keep their Grief Tower from stacking and then toppling in the first place. Lauren writes early on that “Compassion is not a limited resource reserved for only the ‘really hard things.’” Any and all grief is worth processing in a healthy way, and this book is the path to do so. If you’re a counselor or child educator, or a pastor, a parent or a friend, you must read this book. It will give you new and helpful language to use with anyone processing grief and trauma.