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Huber
Huber vacuum cleaners used to be all the rage back in the day!
C’mon, everyone and their grandma remembers ‘em! Advertised as the first artificially intelligent vacuum capable of cleaning a whole house without human aid, they were the hottest appliances this side of the Pacific! And everyone LOVED their commercials starring the adorable little cartoon Huber, whimsically zooming about and sucking up all trash in sight!
But just as quickly as they had appeared on the scene, the Hubers vanished from the public eye without a peep—models were recalled from store shelves, the commercials were no longer aired, and Huber was the next trendy fad damned to obscurity.
Now, Jimmy and his best pal Eddie happen to find an old Huber at a local yard sale! And with a lot of cleaning and sprucing up to do around the homestead before his house-warming party later, Jimmy purchases the vacuum, ready to bring ol’ Huber outta retirement! However, Huber has other plans… after all, there was a reason these vacuums were discontinued in the first place, and Jimmy, Eddie, and all of their friends are going to figure out why the bloody hard way. Cuz this party ain’t just gonna be wild, it’s gonna be…
SUCK-TACULAR!
C’mon, everyone and their grandma remembers ‘em! Advertised as the first artificially intelligent vacuum capable of cleaning a whole house without human aid, they were the hottest appliances this side of the Pacific! And everyone LOVED their commercials starring the adorable little cartoon Huber, whimsically zooming about and sucking up all trash in sight!
But just as quickly as they had appeared on the scene, the Hubers vanished from the public eye without a peep—models were recalled from store shelves, the commercials were no longer aired, and Huber was the next trendy fad damned to obscurity.
Now, Jimmy and his best pal Eddie happen to find an old Huber at a local yard sale! And with a lot of cleaning and sprucing up to do around the homestead before his house-warming party later, Jimmy purchases the vacuum, ready to bring ol’ Huber outta retirement! However, Huber has other plans… after all, there was a reason these vacuums were discontinued in the first place, and Jimmy, Eddie, and all of their friends are going to figure out why the bloody hard way. Cuz this party ain’t just gonna be wild, it’s gonna be…
SUCK-TACULAR!
- GenresHorror
97 pages, Kindle Edition
Published February 14, 2024
3 people are currently reading
35 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 28 of 28 reviews
September 4, 2025
Extremely silly and fun, this nailed the entire concept of a cheesy horror experience. I’ve turned cleaning into an olympic sport these days. Dysons, Bissels, Hoovers, and Sharks…I’ve had so many vacuums over the years. Our cats have always been afraid of them, but I never was…until now. These sinister machines are just waiting to strike. ‘Oh, there’s a mess on the floor, let me get my handy-dandy vacuum to fix that right up.’ A simple chore can become a fight for your life. Be wary, my friends. That eclipse we just had could have triggered the beginning of the end for mankind. And who would’ve suspected the vacuums? I always was suspicious of the feather duster myself. All kidding aside, this was bloody, absolutely ridiculous, and had me laughing a couple of times. Our leads, Jimmy and Eddie were fantastic, with superior, immature banter. The writing was simple but matched the tone of the story and everything just felt right here. Lance Loot…Peter Topside…nice to meet ya…great job!
October 5, 2025
Jimmy finds an old Huber vacuum at old man McCluskey’s yard sale. Just perfect for cleaning up his brand new house before the housewarming party starts. His best friend Eddie warns him for the conspiracy theories about the Huber and why it’s been removed from the market, but Jimmy doesn’t take it all too seriously..
Huber is a perfect blend of Splatterpunk horror and humor and I had the best time while reading it. The banter between the characters is extremely funny and I had to laugh out loud many times, my husband was constantly asking why I laughed so hard. 🤭
It’s a well written story and I think the author is super talented for making the killings both gruesome and hilarious at the same time. I really love his work! 🖤
Because I visualize everything I read in my head, it was highly entertaining to read about the douchebag neighbor Joe and his way too tight cycle shorts. He was being so annoying and I wanted to kick his ass every time he came up, but let’s say…
Noooo, I won’t spoil anything hehe. You have to read it for yourself. Pick up this suck-tacular book if you want to have a great time as well!! 🔥
Huber is a perfect blend of Splatterpunk horror and humor and I had the best time while reading it. The banter between the characters is extremely funny and I had to laugh out loud many times, my husband was constantly asking why I laughed so hard. 🤭
It’s a well written story and I think the author is super talented for making the killings both gruesome and hilarious at the same time. I really love his work! 🖤
Because I visualize everything I read in my head, it was highly entertaining to read about the douchebag neighbor Joe and his way too tight cycle shorts. He was being so annoying and I wanted to kick his ass every time he came up, but let’s say…
Noooo, I won’t spoil anything hehe. You have to read it for yourself. Pick up this suck-tacular book if you want to have a great time as well!! 🔥
March 6, 2024
I love a great slasher!
April 3, 2024
This short read was really fun!
No need to take it serious at all, it’s just as ridiculous, chaotic and fun as the cover suggests.
Likable characters and a friendship that came through on the pages, an annoying neighbor who I feel like everyone has known some version of in their life, and a heavy old vacuum that kinda sucks (pun intended…. Come on, you knew it was coming)
This vicious vacuum only wants bloodshed and is fully functional and capable of murder.
I’m looking forward to the short story about this same vacuum that is part of the Curbside Curses anthology coming out soon
No need to take it serious at all, it’s just as ridiculous, chaotic and fun as the cover suggests.
Likable characters and a friendship that came through on the pages, an annoying neighbor who I feel like everyone has known some version of in their life, and a heavy old vacuum that kinda sucks (pun intended…. Come on, you knew it was coming)
This vicious vacuum only wants bloodshed and is fully functional and capable of murder.
I’m looking forward to the short story about this same vacuum that is part of the Curbside Curses anthology coming out soon
May 25, 2024
This book sucked! Now that the bad vacuum joke is out of the way… this book will do for vacuum cleaners what Jaws did for chalkboards… what Friday the 13th did for product based marketing… what The Burning did for Big Macs… what this review didn’t do for Huber by Lance Loot. Imagine if Christine sucked a little more than it actually did. Unlike Christine, this book ruled ass. Seriously, go buy it, read it, hug it, then put it out in a garage sale like a cursed doll or some such. K thx.
September 27, 2024
“man, fuck this vacuum!”
it’s an absolute refresher to read a splatterpunk that doesn’t rely on sexual assault and over-sexualization of female characters, instead reading one centered around a homocidal vacuum cleaner. this was great. fantastic.
i broke it up into small bits at a time over the last six days but it only added to the suspense. definitely will be checking out more of lance’s work!
it’s an absolute refresher to read a splatterpunk that doesn’t rely on sexual assault and over-sexualization of female characters, instead reading one centered around a homocidal vacuum cleaner. this was great. fantastic.
i broke it up into small bits at a time over the last six days but it only added to the suspense. definitely will be checking out more of lance’s work!
January 22, 2025
"man fuck this vaccum!" <-- yeah i hear that after this book!!!!!! holy christ now i'm never going to be able to vacuum my house again. this book also features quite possibly the DUMBEST thing ive ever seen a fictional character do. good GOD man........that had to fucking hurt, thats all i will say about that. five STARS!!!!!!!!!!!!
January 18, 2025
4.5 rounded up to 5.
April 10, 2024
Welcome to the over-fermented mind of one Mister Lance Loot everybody.
Two words: killer vacuum.
This tale is unfiltered, unrefined, unhinged, unpretentious, notyomamas, scream-it-like-you-mean-it B-movie goodness. It's goo oozes out from every pore (books don't even fuckin have pores), it's gears grind your flesh to hamburger helper, it suction cups its hose to your mouth and sucks everything right on out. You're left covered in your entrails and asking for a second helping.
This book is fuckin awesome!
All Jimmy wanted to do was buy a vacuum to clean up his house.
SUCK-TACULAR!
All his friends wanted to do was get wasted and have a good time.
SUCK-TACULAR!
All his neighbor wanted to do was bitch about the state of
lawn with a raging hard on.
SUCK-TACULAR!
They all got more than they bargained for.
Ironically, all I could imagine was the vacuum from The Brave Little Toaster.
Loot's imagination runs rampant through these hundred masterfully crafted pages. There's blood, guts, and more humor than you can handle.
Please, stop everything you're doing and go read HUBER. Bring a change of panties, you're gonna need em.
P.S. Vacuums are not for pleasuring one's self. Gotta have warning labels on everything with you kids.
Two words: killer vacuum.
This tale is unfiltered, unrefined, unhinged, unpretentious, notyomamas, scream-it-like-you-mean-it B-movie goodness. It's goo oozes out from every pore (books don't even fuckin have pores), it's gears grind your flesh to hamburger helper, it suction cups its hose to your mouth and sucks everything right on out. You're left covered in your entrails and asking for a second helping.
This book is fuckin awesome!
All Jimmy wanted to do was buy a vacuum to clean up his house.
SUCK-TACULAR!
All his friends wanted to do was get wasted and have a good time.
SUCK-TACULAR!
All his neighbor wanted to do was bitch about the state of
lawn with a raging hard on.
SUCK-TACULAR!
They all got more than they bargained for.
Ironically, all I could imagine was the vacuum from The Brave Little Toaster.
Loot's imagination runs rampant through these hundred masterfully crafted pages. There's blood, guts, and more humor than you can handle.
Please, stop everything you're doing and go read HUBER. Bring a change of panties, you're gonna need em.
P.S. Vacuums are not for pleasuring one's self. Gotta have warning labels on everything with you kids.
May 5, 2025
What a fun little one sitting read!! This was a fast paced and brutal novella about a killer vacuum cleaner! It was equal parts hilarious and gory. Reminded me of a B rated horror movie which are my favorite!
September 22, 2024
Like an awesome 80s B movie, Huber takes the most mundane of all appliances, the vacuum cleaner, and turns it into a bloody, visceral, body chomping machine. Entertaining as all get out and downright comedic, Lance Loot manages to make me read this book in one sitting, completely enthralled and eagerly turning every page.
Well done!
Well done!
August 7, 2024
What can I say about Huber? I had the privilege of publishing the short story version of Huber in my anthology Curbside Curses: The Yardsale Anthology. I was so stoked when Lance told me he was inspired to expand upon its concept and turn it into a novella and that it had been picked up by Evil Cookie Press.
“Jimmy and his best pal Eddie happen to find an old Huber at a local yard sale! And with a lot of cleaning and sprucing up to do around the homestead before his house-warming party later, Jimmy purchases the vacuum, ready to bring ol’ Huber outta retirement! However, Huber has other plans… after all, there was a reason these vacuums were discontinued in the first place, and Jimmy, Eddie, and all of their friends are going to figure out why the bloody hard way. Cuz this party ain’t just gonna be wild, it’s gonna be…SUCK-TACULAR!”
Huber is raunchy, gory, and full of interesting characters. From the old man man getting rid of the Huber, to the awful neighbor who makes your local HOA leader look like Mary Poppins to each of the party attendees. It’s full of Loot’s signature dark humor and I enjoyed every laugh-out-loud moment.
“Jimmy and his best pal Eddie happen to find an old Huber at a local yard sale! And with a lot of cleaning and sprucing up to do around the homestead before his house-warming party later, Jimmy purchases the vacuum, ready to bring ol’ Huber outta retirement! However, Huber has other plans… after all, there was a reason these vacuums were discontinued in the first place, and Jimmy, Eddie, and all of their friends are going to figure out why the bloody hard way. Cuz this party ain’t just gonna be wild, it’s gonna be…SUCK-TACULAR!”
Huber is raunchy, gory, and full of interesting characters. From the old man man getting rid of the Huber, to the awful neighbor who makes your local HOA leader look like Mary Poppins to each of the party attendees. It’s full of Loot’s signature dark humor and I enjoyed every laugh-out-loud moment.
January 19, 2025
This was my first indie horror read and was recommended to me by a friend. Not going to lie, I was a little hesitant at first because of the cover and the premise of a vacuum going around murdering people. But wow, I guess it's true when they say don't judge a book by its cover because this was really a crazy fun time! Really good story, hilarious characters, and the vacuum itself was pretty badass. I did feel a little attacked personally with the whole Landscape Nazi guy (not every middleaged man is like that, give us a break! 😝) but it was still pretty funny. Loved the mini Seinfeld reference (soup nazi, no soup for you!) with the name too.
Read this book, it's short and a great time! I am surely going to be reading more indie horror books now because of it too.
Read this book, it's short and a great time! I am surely going to be reading more indie horror books now because of it too.
May 16, 2024
This is a FUN novella! If you’re like me and love cheesy B-Movies about killer inanimate objects, then you’ll have an absolute blast with Huber the killer vacuum!
In only 99 pages you get a reasonably paced story with likable characters in Jimmy and his best friend Eddie and some whom are not so likable, like Joe the neighbor from hell who constantly ridicules Jimmy while jogging in his too-tight biker shorts. Jimmy just moved into a new home and is planning a party but still missing a few household items. He hits up a yard sale at the old McKlusky place (aka the local boogeyman) and finds an old Huber who were the first smart vacuums of its kind with ties to conspiracy theories of its AI function getting buggy and mowing down its owners. Jimmy is intrigued and needs a new vacuum anyway, he takes it home to clean, has his party and when nightfalls no one would have suspected the bloodshed that ensues…
I don’t want to give anything away because of how quick of a read it is but I really enjoyed this. I loved the ridiculous concept and how unique and gruesome the kills are, all while being laugh-out-loud hilarious! I do think the ending was a little rushed, but overall I had a great time and will definitely be checking out more by this author. I recommend you check it out for a ROARING good time!
In only 99 pages you get a reasonably paced story with likable characters in Jimmy and his best friend Eddie and some whom are not so likable, like Joe the neighbor from hell who constantly ridicules Jimmy while jogging in his too-tight biker shorts. Jimmy just moved into a new home and is planning a party but still missing a few household items. He hits up a yard sale at the old McKlusky place (aka the local boogeyman) and finds an old Huber who were the first smart vacuums of its kind with ties to conspiracy theories of its AI function getting buggy and mowing down its owners. Jimmy is intrigued and needs a new vacuum anyway, he takes it home to clean, has his party and when nightfalls no one would have suspected the bloodshed that ensues…
I don’t want to give anything away because of how quick of a read it is but I really enjoyed this. I loved the ridiculous concept and how unique and gruesome the kills are, all while being laugh-out-loud hilarious! I do think the ending was a little rushed, but overall I had a great time and will definitely be checking out more by this author. I recommend you check it out for a ROARING good time!
January 19, 2025
Huber by Lance Loot is a hilarious, bloody romp through the absurd! The premise is as ridiculous as it sounds: a killer vacuum methodically picking off a group of friends, one by one, during a wild, beer-fueled house-warming party. What could easily be just a silly gimmick is instead a masterful blend of horror and comedy— Loot strikes the right balance between gore and humor, making each death nauseating AND laugh-out-loud funny!
The characters are exactly what you'd expect in a slasher— a mix of idiots with just enough charm to make their deaths oddly satisfying. The vacuum itself (the HUBER!) is more than just a killing machine, it's also a collector's antique with a very dark (and oddly sensual...) past!
If you're in the mood for something that’s humorously horrifying, Huber delivers. It’s horror with a side of slapstick, and it somehow works in the most delightfully twisted ways!
The characters are exactly what you'd expect in a slasher— a mix of idiots with just enough charm to make their deaths oddly satisfying. The vacuum itself (the HUBER!) is more than just a killing machine, it's also a collector's antique with a very dark (and oddly sensual...) past!
If you're in the mood for something that’s humorously horrifying, Huber delivers. It’s horror with a side of slapstick, and it somehow works in the most delightfully twisted ways!
January 18, 2025
This book was hilarious with a lot of moments that made me laugh out loud. I never thought I would read a book about a serial killer vacuum cleaner, but it has now happened. The kill scenes and dialogue were amazing and I really liked the design of the Huber vacuum, makes me almost wish I could have one. Kidding of course.
Be warned, there is a lot of gore, profanity, and scenes that may create a fear of your household appliances. I do not believe there is an exact word for that so I will call it appliaphobia.
I highly recommend this book to anyone who enjoys splatterpunk horror, it's a wild and bloody ride.
Be warned, there is a lot of gore, profanity, and scenes that may create a fear of your household appliances. I do not believe there is an exact word for that so I will call it appliaphobia.
I highly recommend this book to anyone who enjoys splatterpunk horror, it's a wild and bloody ride.
April 30, 2024
If you enjoyed wild killer object b-movies like Killer Sofa, Attack of the Killer Doughnuts or Killer Pinata then you'll love Huber. This is my second read by Lance and he's quickly becoming one of the best for cartoonist splatter out there.
January 18, 2025
Quirky and fun slasher story that doesn't take itself too seriously. Killer vacuum cleaner, enough said. Really enjoyed the witty banter between characters.
Read this if in search for a different take on slasher horror.
Will be reading more from this author.
Read this if in search for a different take on slasher horror.
Will be reading more from this author.
August 19, 2024
If you dig Charles Bandesq Killer Object b-horror but without the sleaze this is a must read though plays things a little safe for my preference.
April 24, 2024
I really didn't know what I was letting myself in for when picking up this book bit I'm so glad I didn't.
𝘏𝘶𝘣𝘦𝘳 is a weirdly wonderful and hilariously gruesome all within the few short pages. It's a quick little read that packs a punch at the very end. The characters are likeable, although there are a few, ok... one that would definitely earn a throat punch from me. If you know, you know.
I couldn't fault the book. However, I only wished the gore had been dragged out just that little inch purely because it ended way too quick, and I wanted it to last a little bit longer.
I'd 100% reread & highly reccomend to those looking for something toe curling!
𝘏𝘶𝘣𝘦𝘳 is a weirdly wonderful and hilariously gruesome all within the few short pages. It's a quick little read that packs a punch at the very end. The characters are likeable, although there are a few, ok... one that would definitely earn a throat punch from me. If you know, you know.
I couldn't fault the book. However, I only wished the gore had been dragged out just that little inch purely because it ended way too quick, and I wanted it to last a little bit longer.
I'd 100% reread & highly reccomend to those looking for something toe curling!
February 22, 2024
My favorite Lance Loot to date! Although I look on my personal vacuum as a tidy ally, the menace of Huber is real. This is one monster you do not want let loose in your home or your neighborhood! Check out his latest novelette for the perfect combination of scares and laughs, available on Amazon.
I may need to re-evaluate my relationship with my housekeeping tools. And treat my Dyson well.
August 3, 2024
This story was so wacky, Lance is a brilliant author love his work a lot! I've had this on my Kindle since release day and just had to finally get it read. I'm so happy I did. The start of the story is a bit slow, but I absolutely loved it 😂 such a wild storyline, but it's absolutely worth reading 🫡🔥 4/5
March 19, 2024
What can I say about Huber? It is a fun ride filled with slackers, a neighborhood jogging nazi, and an old-school vacuum that, oh, by the way, awakens into something far more deadly. This novella has a modern-day Richard Stanley Hardware vibe. Mr. Loot's working-class dialogue and world-class humor mixed with heavy mayhem make this a must-read on your bookshelf.
September 7, 2024
Who knew a household appliance could be so deadly!
A fun little slasher that has everything in it for a hilariously brutal read.
We have a great friendship dynamic, a nasty neighbour and a nasty little sucker lol
I really enjoyed Lance's writing style and can’t wait to read more.
A fun little slasher that has everything in it for a hilariously brutal read.
We have a great friendship dynamic, a nasty neighbour and a nasty little sucker lol
I really enjoyed Lance's writing style and can’t wait to read more.
February 12, 2025
4.5 rounded down
Jimmy just bought his first house and is new in town. He visits a garage sale nearby only to find the classic Huber vacuum cleaner for a bargain! But what starts as a normal vacuum cleaner quickly becomes a killing machine on the loose at Jimmy’s house.
This novella had a little of everything. It had relatable neighborly feuds, old school friendships, and hilarious tales of the history of the Huber that I think we can all remember.
I read this is one sitting and was completely captivated! I enjoyed the dialogue between characters and the nostalgia and silliness that is the Huber! A cheesy B rated horror movie in a book! If you’re looking for a quick, entertaining horror read that’ll make you smile then give this a read!
Jimmy just bought his first house and is new in town. He visits a garage sale nearby only to find the classic Huber vacuum cleaner for a bargain! But what starts as a normal vacuum cleaner quickly becomes a killing machine on the loose at Jimmy’s house.
This novella had a little of everything. It had relatable neighborly feuds, old school friendships, and hilarious tales of the history of the Huber that I think we can all remember.
I read this is one sitting and was completely captivated! I enjoyed the dialogue between characters and the nostalgia and silliness that is the Huber! A cheesy B rated horror movie in a book! If you’re looking for a quick, entertaining horror read that’ll make you smile then give this a read!
September 6, 2024
What the fuck was this? Killer vacuums? What in the hell will they think of next? Reading this weirdass shitshow reminded me of watching oddball cartoons from back in the day that were definitely not for kids like Ren and Stimpy. Except this book had buckets of blood, gore, and some dumbfuck trying to get a blowjob off a vacuum. A KILLER vacuum, to be precise. Yeah, that never ends well.
This was a bizarre and nasty book. However, I only felt like I was going to puke a couple of times while reading it. Which makes me think I'm getting the hang of this splatter horror business finally. But you know what, fuck vacuum cleaners with AI. And that includes Roombas. Especially with how dirty of creatures humans are. Because one day these sentient vacuums are going to sense how filthy we all are and are going to go into fucking psycho cleaning mode and murder us all. So fuck Hubers, I don't give a flying fuck what everyone and their grandma says about them. They fucking SUCK!
Great book, def recommend. 👍👍
This was a bizarre and nasty book. However, I only felt like I was going to puke a couple of times while reading it. Which makes me think I'm getting the hang of this splatter horror business finally. But you know what, fuck vacuum cleaners with AI. And that includes Roombas. Especially with how dirty of creatures humans are. Because one day these sentient vacuums are going to sense how filthy we all are and are going to go into fucking psycho cleaning mode and murder us all. So fuck Hubers, I don't give a flying fuck what everyone and their grandma says about them. They fucking SUCK!
Great book, def recommend. 👍👍
April 10, 2024
““SUCK-TACULAR!” the Huber boomed in a deep, bowel-shaking voice, the sort of timbre demons speak with.”
If anything truly reads like Goosebumps for grownups, it's this wild novella, complete with a ‘crazy old man McClusky’ and a killer vacuum cleaner!
Thanks to Lance for the very vivid description of Joe's testicles in running shorts 🤢. As someone who visualises while reading, I did not need that and am desperately trying to shake the image from my mind's eye ASAP.
This was such a fun read! I cannot stress enough that you neeeeeed to read this story that’s gory, action-packed, silly and an overall roaring good time. I can't lie, I kinda wanna see this as a movie 😆.
If anything truly reads like Goosebumps for grownups, it's this wild novella, complete with a ‘crazy old man McClusky’ and a killer vacuum cleaner!
Thanks to Lance for the very vivid description of Joe's testicles in running shorts 🤢. As someone who visualises while reading, I did not need that and am desperately trying to shake the image from my mind's eye ASAP.
This was such a fun read! I cannot stress enough that you neeeeeed to read this story that’s gory, action-packed, silly and an overall roaring good time. I can't lie, I kinda wanna see this as a movie 😆.
June 1, 2025
Funny and witty, though there wasn't much splatter for a book labelled Splatterpunk Books and it might have helped the gore be more impactful if it was less obvious who was going to get Hundred.
Displaying 1 - 28 of 28 reviews