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142 pages, Kindle Edition
First published November 4, 2017




“So, what do you want for Christmas?”
“I’m too old to ask Santa for anything.”
“You’re never too old for Santa.” […] “Anything special you want?”
Dear Santa, all I want for Christmas is you…inside me. “Nope.”
"Make it a White Christmas, Santa."
Dear Santa, you can come down my chimney anytime you want.
"So who am I? The elf being punished for not hitting toy quota? Mrs. Claus's slutty surgeon brother?"
"Surgeon?"
"What? Just because he's slutty doesn't mean he didn't have time to go to med school."
"He wanted to keep peeling back the beautiful exterior of this dream guy. It was his looks that pulled Tom in originally, but he found that discovering the real Randall was what kept him coming back for more.
"Dear Santa, you can come down my chimney anytime you want."
