How to Leave a Narcissist ... For Good: Moving On From Abusive and Toxic Relationships

by Sarah Davies

'If you have been the victim of a genuine narcissist, you don't need TikTok, you need a reliable, serious source of knowledge like Davies's book' Sunday Times Style'Davies outlines a roadmap to recovery' Stylist'I highly recommend reading How to Leave A Narcissist For Good' Bryony Gordon, TelegraphYou cannot change a narcissist. But you can change how you deal with one.In How to Leave A Narcissist ... For Good, psychologist Dr Sarah Davies offers this practical guide to understanding and healing from a relationship with a narcissist. Drawing on her clinical work with individuals as well as personal experience, she will help you Understand narcissism and identify narcissistic abuse- Recognise negative patterns and break the cycle of abuse- Restore focus to yourself and repair the damage to your self-esteem- Address any resulting trauma and manage emotional overwhelm or distress- Learn and develop healthy boundaries and communication skills- Master self-care and compassionWith case studies and expert guidance on rebuilding self-confidence, developing emotional regulation skills and learning mindfulness and grounding techniques, How to Leave A Narcissist ... For Good will help you turn your back on narcissists and look forward to future loving relationships.How to Leave A Narcissist ... For Good was previously published as Never Again. This is a new and updated edition.

Genres: Psychology

320 pages, Paperback

Published July 1, 2025

About the author

Dr. Sarah Davies is a Chartered Counselling Psychologist and Trauma Therapist. She has worked in mental health since 2007. With a background in general mental health and training in a range of psychological therapies, she has specialised in treating Narcissistic Abuse, Codependency, Stress, Anxiety and Trauma since 2013. Dr. Sarah is passionate about providing a holistic, practical and pragmatic approach to mental health and emotional wellbeing. She has a successful private practice based on Harley Street, London, England. You can find out more at: www.drsarahdavies.com

Reviews

[Tiina · Rating 4 out of 5]

Väga vähe jäi puudu, et oleks hindeks pannud viis tähte viiest—ma pole vist mitte kunagi varem ka ühtegi raamatut niiviisi läbi töödanud, et pea igal leheküljel sai midagi harilikuga alla joonitud või omast kogemusest juurde kirjutatud.

Hoiatuseks peab ütlema, et ma olen isiksusehäirete (tulevikus loodetavasti suhtlushäirete) koha pealt üpriski tundlik. Niisiis oli minu jaoks suur positiivne üllatus see, et austusväärne autor eristas nartsissismi kui isiksushäiret nartsissistlike joonte avaldumisest—nimelt esineb meil kõigil rohkem või vähem nartsissistlike jooni, kõigil, sealhulgas nii sinul kui ka minul, mis avalduvad erinevates suhetes erimoodi. Lisaks on veel teisigi faktoreid—näiteks autistidel on suurem kalduvus neid jooni omada.

Niisiis—see, et ma seda raamatut lugesin ja nii kõrgelt hindan, ei tähenda, et ma pean kohe oma ekse ja endiseid sõpru nartsissistideks, AGA ma ei saa seda ka välistada. Mul oli kohutavalt palju äratundmishetki, nii kurbi (ta käitus täpselt nii!) kui ka rõõmsaid (seda ma juba teen!). Raamatus oli väga palju erinevaid maandamistehnikaid ja viise, mis aitavad üle saada nartsissistliku kuritarvitamise tagajärjel tekkinud traumast.

Kuidas seda siis teha? Väga lühidalt kokku võttes: too tähelepanu tagasi iseendale. Õpi tundma oma väärtusi ja piire, kommunikeeri neid nii, et teisel osapoolel on võimalik nendega arvestada, ning VASTUTA! Sa oled ise oma õnne sepp!

[Beth Bonini · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very useful book if you either suspect (or know) that you are in (or have been in) a relationship with a narcissist. I thought that I knew something about this subject, but it turned out there was still plenty to learn.

By the way, there is a big difference between a person who has some narcissistic tendencies and a person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

[Heleen Osse]

Had ik dit boek maar 3 jaar geleden gelezen, dan had me dat heel wat leed kunnen besparen😅😂 Het boek bevat concrete tips voor bepaalde situaties, zowel tijdens als na een relatie met een narcist. Wel wat aan gehad!

[Simyn · Rating 3 out of 5]

Heel interessant! Persoonlijk duurde het einde wat lang voor mij, maar dit kwam doordat dit deel over het herstel- en rouwproces ging. Wel een goed geschreven deel voor diegene die dit nodig hebben!

[leni swagger · Rating 5 out of 5]

I usually loathe self-help books, as they often come across as cheap tools to enable toxic behaviour for readers ("It's not you, it's him, babe"). Yet, this one allowed for a healthy and open discussion about narcissistic dynamics in relationships.

Nothing is ever black and white, and I feel like this book showed how – even as a victim of narcissistic abuse – you are responsible for your own life choices and who you surround yourself with.

While reading this helped me a lot to identify the narcissistic relationship dynamic I had with an ex-boyfriend, it's all the more important to be hesitant with these types of guides. Books like these can be dangerous when used as a device to self-diagnose and judge; they shouldn't be. No relationship is like the other !!!
I feel like this book tries to convey this message across very clearly, so it's ultimately the reader's duty not to misuse personal interpretations as the universal truth.

I will say that I learnt a lot in general about the topic and very often sighed in relief when I finally felt understood and not alone. It took a few trees and a year of therapy to understand that I wasn't crazy...

[Ines Norton · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reconheci o narcisista com quem vivo, e validou os pensamentos que ele instala em mim

[Steeven Shaw · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dr. Sarah Davies has crafted an extraordinary and life-changing guide in her book, How to Leave a Narcissist for Good. This is more than just a self-help book—it is a lifeline for those trapped in the exhausting and often traumatic cycle of a relationship with a narcissist.

The book provides clear, compassionate, and practical advice, blending psychological insights with actionable steps. Dr. Davies masterfully breaks down the complex dynamics of narcissistic relationships, helping readers identify the signs and understand the emotional manipulation they may have endured.

What I appreciated most is the empowering tone throughout the book. It’s not just about leaving the relationship—it’s about reclaiming your sense of self, rebuilding your confidence, and moving forward with clarity and strength.

This book was a beacon of hope during a difficult time in my life, and I’m incredibly grateful for the guidance it offered. I’ll be sharing it with others because it has the potential to save lives and transform futures.

If you’re seeking a way out of a toxic relationship or know someone who is, How to Leave a Narcissist for Good is a must-read. Dr. Davies has created an essential tool for anyone looking to break free and find lasting freedom and peace.

[Suzanne E · Rating 5 out of 5]

Everyone who has encountered Narcissistic abuse should read this book, not only to gain understanding but ultimately to aid in ongoing healing and recovery. I am grateful to the author.

[Emre Güneş · Rating 2 out of 5]

Ben kendimi yaktım. Siz yapmayın. Bir seyahatte okudum ama gerek yok. Konuya ilginiz varsa Şule Öncü - Hepimiz Narsistiz çok daha iyi.

[Eneysah Davud · Rating 3 out of 5]

A Great Diagnosis of Trauma, but the Escape Plan Needs Work.

Sarah Davies has written a decent guide to spotting the monster and understanding the damage it left behind.
As a trauma therapist, she actually validates that narcissistic abuse causes real, physiological trauma. Hallelujah!


Where the book truly shines is in its explanation of the "Window of Tolerance."
Davies brilliantly outlines how living with a predator breaks your nervous system.
You either get stuck in Hyperarousal (revved up, panicked, ready to fight a shadow) or Hypoarousal (shut down, numb, functionally a zombie).
If you have survived a narcissist, this section will make you feel incredibly seen.
It matches my experience perfectly.

However, as a biologist, I take issue with some of her suggested therapies.
Trauma doesn’t just live in your thoughts; it lives in your cells.

Where the book stumbles is in the "Why We Stay" and "How to Leave" sections.
Davies falls into the classic therapist trap of blaming the victim’s childhood.
She blames that victims attract narcissists because they are codependent, have weak boundaries or other bad personality traits.
Thank you Sarah for blaming me for the horror that happened to me.
Additionally, Sarah: I wasn't abused as a child, and my toxic boss definitely wasn't my romantic partner. Often predators hunt you down.

Her advice on leaving is basically, "Go No Contact."
That is cute advice for a bad Tinder date, but it is utterly useless if the narcissist is your co-parent, your boss, or holds your financial survival hostage.
This book assumes you can just pack a bag and walk away.

If you are currently trapped in a war zone, this book won't save you.
Use it to understand your trauma, but for actual extraction tactics, there are much better books that can help you.

[Svi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Хороша книжка не тільки для тих, хто мав стосунки з нарцисом, а й для тих, хто стикався з нарцисами в інших моментах та сферах свого життя.

Основна цінність цієї книжки для мене у практичних вправах, які насправді займають більшу половину книжки.

З мінусів - в українській версії трапляється багато помилок, а назва книжки більше маркетингова, бо не до кінця показує, про що саме йтиметься всередині. Я б її назвала «Техніки, як повернутися до себе після токсичних стосунків».

[Godaaa · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really enjoyed the beginning and it had many great insights. The further I read though, the more it repeated itself, sometimes even with exactly the same phrases for 3 times. Honestly - that was exhausting. But generally, I’d recommend to read at a half of this book to gain more knowledge!

[Svitlana · Rating 5 out of 5]

Результат цієї книги - вийшла з токсичних стосунків)

[Kenji Raeymaekers · Rating 4 out of 5]

Zeer interessant, ondersteunend boek! Aanrader voor iedereen die meer over dit thema wil weten of slachtoffer was van dit misbruik.

[Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

A practical self-help book on how to leave a toxic relationship and how to heal afterwards.

[CUPID · Rating 5 out of 5]

前半部分感觉都是已知的 后半倒是有所收获
但感觉文字实在是不够精简 可以一句话说清楚但写成了一段的感觉 或者是故意写得很长么……仿佛故意扩写那般……可能是文风问题

[Eric Verhoye · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nieuwe favoriete quote:
"Er is geen logische verklaring voor volstrekt onlogisch gedrag".

Iedereen zou minstens de eerste hoofdstukken moeten lezen. In een tijd waar grote ego's beloond worden, is het belangrijk om de doorgeslagen variant te herkennen en je te wapenen of anderen te helpen.

[Olga Ruban · Rating 5 out of 5]

Вважаю, що важливо розбиратись в людях та вчасно розпізнавати абьюз. Ця книга дуже добре пояснює, хто такий нарцис, і після прочитання напевно вам захочеться попрощатись з деякими людьми.

Дуже легко написана, я б сказала, що дає всі базові поняття на техніки, тому рекомендую.

[Olivia · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best non fiction books I have ever read, I urge you to read this if you have suffered or are suffering from domestic abuse. This book has helped me transform my life and feel less alone.