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Parenting without Panic in an LGBT-Affirming World: Discipling Our Kids with Jesus’ Truth and Love
Helps parents to teach young children what the Bible says about sexuality proactively and positively in a culture with contrasting ideas and values.
As Christian parents, we long to equip our kids as they venture out into a culture where LGBT is affirmed and celebrated. We want them to know what God says, and to love what God says. But, it’s hard to know where to start. That's where this book can help
Author Rachel Gilson helps you to teach your children proactively and positively about God’s beautiful design for human sexuality, gender, and relationships. This book will help you to provide your children with a Christian framework for sexual ethics, rather than letting the culture lay the foundations of their worldview in this area.
Rachel writes with understanding and clarity to help fellow parents engage with the wider LGBT narrative with faith rather than fear. Since she herself experiences same-sex attraction but has chosen to follow the Bible's teaching, she has put much thought into this topic. She reassures us that Jesus gives us everything we need to be faithful disciples in a fallen world, and that God works out his perfect purposes despite human sin. She also shares her wisdom on how to respond with grace and truth to people with different beliefs in this area.
This book is ideal for preschool and elementary-school children.
As Christian parents, we long to equip our kids as they venture out into a culture where LGBT is affirmed and celebrated. We want them to know what God says, and to love what God says. But, it’s hard to know where to start. That's where this book can help
Author Rachel Gilson helps you to teach your children proactively and positively about God’s beautiful design for human sexuality, gender, and relationships. This book will help you to provide your children with a Christian framework for sexual ethics, rather than letting the culture lay the foundations of their worldview in this area.
Rachel writes with understanding and clarity to help fellow parents engage with the wider LGBT narrative with faith rather than fear. Since she herself experiences same-sex attraction but has chosen to follow the Bible's teaching, she has put much thought into this topic. She reassures us that Jesus gives us everything we need to be faithful disciples in a fallen world, and that God works out his perfect purposes despite human sin. She also shares her wisdom on how to respond with grace and truth to people with different beliefs in this area.
This book is ideal for preschool and elementary-school children.
128 pages, Paperback
Published September 1, 2024
23 people are currently reading
371 people want to read
About the author
Rachel Gilson
6 books42 followersRachel serves on the leadership team of Theological Development and Culture with Cru. Her writing has appeared in Christianity Today and for Desiring God and The Gospel Coalition, and she regularly speaks at churches and on college campuses. Rachel holds a Master of Divinity from Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary, and lives in the Boston area with her husband and daughter.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 32 reviews
October 21, 2024
Just finished this book and it’s awesome! Really helpful for communicating issues of sexuality to children and teens. Helpful taught with grace and truth, I imagine everyone would be served by this book!
October 11, 2024
“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” (James 1:5)
“God’s vision for our bodies and relationships really is good news and we can talk calmly and confidently about it with even our young kids.”
I read this book in tandem with What Do I Say When…?. Apparently both Crossway Publishing and The Good Book Company had similar plans to release a short parenting guide on some of the cultural issues of the day and how to relate them at age-appropriate levels.
I decided to read them back-to-back and compare them.
In brief, I would say that I liked Parenting without Panic better, however it was written for parents with kids 11 and under— which is me— and I felt like she did a better job providing more specific illustrations and ways of communicating.
To parse it out more, the books do kind of have different targets.
Gilson’s book is targeted for younger kids and is focused on LGBT questions and thoughts on identity.
What Do I Say When (written by husband and wife Andrew & Christian Walker) addresses a broader range of topics and provides talking points for three different age groups. They don’t list out the ages, calling them ‘floors’ instead, so the parent can decide what group of points and questions would fit their child’s level of understanding. Some of the other topics in What Do I Say When include politics, human dignity, abortion, technology, and persecution, as well as chapters pertaining to transgender, sexuality, and identity categories.
Regardless of which book (or both) you decide to read, all three authors were quick to remind us that as parents, these books, though helpful, are not enough. We need to do the due diligence of familiarizing ourselves with the issues, the arguments, the defenses, and what the Bible says about them.
It’s not a question of whether our kids will learn this stuff, it’s a matter of WHO will be teaching them. Will it be us? Or will we allow their schools, their friends, or their entertainment choices tell them what is right or wrong, true or false.
It’s not enough to send our kids to Sunday school and hope they are getting enough truth to combat the lies of the enemy. As parents we are raising these kids and teaching them every day what it means to follow Jesus and obey his word and trust his design for how we live our lives.
If that overwhelms you, take heart, because that’s why these authors have written their books! These are a great starting point for any parent. Beyond that, both books provide further resources and other books that delve into each topic more deeply. Especially the Wilsons’ book.
To read more of my thoughts on What Do I Say When?, click HERE for my full review.
Now I will focus more on Gilson’s book specifically.
Rachel Gilson wrote her own story in her book Born Again This Way where she details her LGBT journey and experience and how she came to know the truth of the Bible and changed her lifestyle.
The same kind and loving tone is found in this book. She is careful to phrase and communicate truths in a way that reminds our children that LGBT people are not bad people. Our kids are quick to categorize good people and bad people, but that’s not how God sees us. We want to communicate God’s truth and his design without causing them to stop loving people who don’t know Jesus yet. I think that’s really important and easily lost in the conversation.
A few things she used that stood out to me:
- Just like a cow says moo and a duck says quack (animals telling us what they are), we can trust our body to tell us who we are— boys or girls. God created us in a way that we would easily know (there is some nuance here with intersex conditions that she does discuss)
- Both singleness and marriage are signposts for God’s goodness. This is a crossover from her other book where she talks about how God designed marriage between a man and a woman (difference/diversity) as a representation and picture of Christ and his bride— the church. The two parties are not interchangeable or we lose the gospel. In the same way, a man doesn’t marry a man or a woman to a woman without distorting or lying about the truth of who God is and how he unites with his people. She has always held singleness in high regard as well. In a world that makes romantic love the peak of human existence, we can remind our children that the ‘yes’ of the gospel is in being in God’s family and sharing in loving relationships as brothers and sisters in Christ. There is a place for everyone in God’s family and we are not saved by romantic love but in the love of Christ that is for all.
- She has a chapter called ‘The Sex Talk’ which may make you second guess these conversations with your kids, but the reality is that they need to know a lot of this stuff at a young age. The phrase she provides to help you explain this (in terms of eggs and seeds) is helpful and I agree with her that if we communicate confidently and calmly with our kids, it will instill their confidence and their willingness to come to us with any questions or concerns.
- She explains the effects of the fall and how we live in a broken world with broken bodies and broken feelings. It helps us explain the ‘why’ of transgender and LGBT questions as well as other sinful thoughts and behaviors we have that we need to align with God’s will and design, not on our changing feelings.
- I liked how she helps us teach our kids why our family’s rules might be different than other families. It will help us not be surprised or afraid of difference, but recognizing that people who aren’t under the kingship of God won’t obey the rules of God and won’t be using the Holy Spirit to help them say yes to his design
I was very encouraged by her chapter discussing parents’ fears about their children and what they will grow up to believe. Rachel points us to Daniel and the Israelites who were exiled in Babylon, inundated with the pagan propaganda with the threat of death if they didn’t comply with the new religion. There were many who still grew up strong in faith. There is no guarantee, but we can trust God with our children and know that “God is able to keep his people faithful, even when they are surrounded by idolatry and persecution.”
She also has a chapter that talks about when people who are Christians believe they can affirm an LGBT relationship and still be following God’s Word.
In this chapter she brings up Preston Sprinkle’s book ‘Embodied’: “At the time of writing this, I don’t know of a comparable volume engaging with affirming arguments for transgender identities, but Embodied is a thoughtful Christian treatment of the topic in general. Educating yourself on various ways in which people end up embracing revisionist positions will help as you listen to and engage with your children.”
Another reviewer brought up concerns that Rachel would recommend this book. I guess, knowing what I know of Sprinkle, I read this as her giving a ‘counter’ book option of what to be cautious of, not that his book was one to emulate. But I suppose it’s not super clear.
Rachel is right to caution readers that just because someone says they are a Christian, doesn’t mean their beliefs align with Scripture. Right now Revisionist Christianity is “popular, enticing, and deadly; if our children embrace it, our role is to call it out.” It is a distortion of Scriptural beliefs that ultimately undermines God’s Word and truth itself.
Rosaria Butterfield takes on Preston Sprinkle pretty candidly in her book Five Lies of Our Anti-Christian Age, and after doing some of my own reading and researching, I wouldn’t necessarily say avoid Preston Sprinkle at all costs, but I would be very cautious in aligning your beliefs to his. I’m not entirely sure where he stands at this very moment but I think he has decided he doesn’t believe in hell and is currently wrestling with an egalitarian view of women in the church, which Wayne Grudem does a pretty compelling job of explaining the path to liberalism from this belief alone in his book Evangelical Feminism, which is probably accelerated considering Sprinkle’s belief about hell.
The point is: be wary of Preston Sprinkle, yes, but more importantly, you need to know what truth is before you can spot the lie. Know what the Bible says about all the things. Read Rachel’s book, but read more than Rachel’s book.
She lists her own book at the end of the book as a resource as well as Is God Anti-Gay by Sam Allberry and Does the Bible Affirm Same-Sex Relationships by Rebecca McLaughlin. Both of those are also short books which I’ve read, reviewed, and recommend as well.
[I have read much on this subject, you can browse other resources on my website.]
Recommendation
I like how she concludes her book: “I hope that marinating in the principles of this book has grounded your heart in faith in our loving God… because of our relationship with the all-powerful, loving, and living true God, we can move from parenting out of fear towards parenting in secure trust in the one who will never leave us nor forsake us.”
I’m still working on quelling all of my fear regarding my kids’ faith and future, but I can tell you that I have a lot less fear and a lot more confidence in parenting from reading books like this that remind me that my beliefs regarding LGBT topics are not hateful, bigoted, or misguided. They are grounded in the love and truth of God who created each of us on purpose with a purpose. I don’t have to wonder if I’m on the wrong side of history because I know I am on the right side of God’s truth.
You can have that confidence too. It just takes some study of God’s Word and there are plenty of teachers who have provided books like these to walk you through it.
Be encouraged and inspired to guide your kids through difficult conversations knowing you are leading them to the ultimate place of love, truth, belonging, and life.
**Received a copy via The Good Book Company in exchange for an honest review**
Book Review Blog | Facebook | Pinterest | StoryGraph
“God’s vision for our bodies and relationships really is good news and we can talk calmly and confidently about it with even our young kids.”
I read this book in tandem with What Do I Say When…?. Apparently both Crossway Publishing and The Good Book Company had similar plans to release a short parenting guide on some of the cultural issues of the day and how to relate them at age-appropriate levels.
I decided to read them back-to-back and compare them.
In brief, I would say that I liked Parenting without Panic better, however it was written for parents with kids 11 and under— which is me— and I felt like she did a better job providing more specific illustrations and ways of communicating.
To parse it out more, the books do kind of have different targets.
Gilson’s book is targeted for younger kids and is focused on LGBT questions and thoughts on identity.
What Do I Say When (written by husband and wife Andrew & Christian Walker) addresses a broader range of topics and provides talking points for three different age groups. They don’t list out the ages, calling them ‘floors’ instead, so the parent can decide what group of points and questions would fit their child’s level of understanding. Some of the other topics in What Do I Say When include politics, human dignity, abortion, technology, and persecution, as well as chapters pertaining to transgender, sexuality, and identity categories.
Regardless of which book (or both) you decide to read, all three authors were quick to remind us that as parents, these books, though helpful, are not enough. We need to do the due diligence of familiarizing ourselves with the issues, the arguments, the defenses, and what the Bible says about them.
It’s not a question of whether our kids will learn this stuff, it’s a matter of WHO will be teaching them. Will it be us? Or will we allow their schools, their friends, or their entertainment choices tell them what is right or wrong, true or false.
It’s not enough to send our kids to Sunday school and hope they are getting enough truth to combat the lies of the enemy. As parents we are raising these kids and teaching them every day what it means to follow Jesus and obey his word and trust his design for how we live our lives.
If that overwhelms you, take heart, because that’s why these authors have written their books! These are a great starting point for any parent. Beyond that, both books provide further resources and other books that delve into each topic more deeply. Especially the Wilsons’ book.
To read more of my thoughts on What Do I Say When?, click HERE for my full review.
Now I will focus more on Gilson’s book specifically.
Rachel Gilson wrote her own story in her book Born Again This Way where she details her LGBT journey and experience and how she came to know the truth of the Bible and changed her lifestyle.
The same kind and loving tone is found in this book. She is careful to phrase and communicate truths in a way that reminds our children that LGBT people are not bad people. Our kids are quick to categorize good people and bad people, but that’s not how God sees us. We want to communicate God’s truth and his design without causing them to stop loving people who don’t know Jesus yet. I think that’s really important and easily lost in the conversation.
A few things she used that stood out to me:
- Just like a cow says moo and a duck says quack (animals telling us what they are), we can trust our body to tell us who we are— boys or girls. God created us in a way that we would easily know (there is some nuance here with intersex conditions that she does discuss)
- Both singleness and marriage are signposts for God’s goodness. This is a crossover from her other book where she talks about how God designed marriage between a man and a woman (difference/diversity) as a representation and picture of Christ and his bride— the church. The two parties are not interchangeable or we lose the gospel. In the same way, a man doesn’t marry a man or a woman to a woman without distorting or lying about the truth of who God is and how he unites with his people. She has always held singleness in high regard as well. In a world that makes romantic love the peak of human existence, we can remind our children that the ‘yes’ of the gospel is in being in God’s family and sharing in loving relationships as brothers and sisters in Christ. There is a place for everyone in God’s family and we are not saved by romantic love but in the love of Christ that is for all.
- She has a chapter called ‘The Sex Talk’ which may make you second guess these conversations with your kids, but the reality is that they need to know a lot of this stuff at a young age. The phrase she provides to help you explain this (in terms of eggs and seeds) is helpful and I agree with her that if we communicate confidently and calmly with our kids, it will instill their confidence and their willingness to come to us with any questions or concerns.
- She explains the effects of the fall and how we live in a broken world with broken bodies and broken feelings. It helps us explain the ‘why’ of transgender and LGBT questions as well as other sinful thoughts and behaviors we have that we need to align with God’s will and design, not on our changing feelings.
- I liked how she helps us teach our kids why our family’s rules might be different than other families. It will help us not be surprised or afraid of difference, but recognizing that people who aren’t under the kingship of God won’t obey the rules of God and won’t be using the Holy Spirit to help them say yes to his design
I was very encouraged by her chapter discussing parents’ fears about their children and what they will grow up to believe. Rachel points us to Daniel and the Israelites who were exiled in Babylon, inundated with the pagan propaganda with the threat of death if they didn’t comply with the new religion. There were many who still grew up strong in faith. There is no guarantee, but we can trust God with our children and know that “God is able to keep his people faithful, even when they are surrounded by idolatry and persecution.”
She also has a chapter that talks about when people who are Christians believe they can affirm an LGBT relationship and still be following God’s Word.
In this chapter she brings up Preston Sprinkle’s book ‘Embodied’: “At the time of writing this, I don’t know of a comparable volume engaging with affirming arguments for transgender identities, but Embodied is a thoughtful Christian treatment of the topic in general. Educating yourself on various ways in which people end up embracing revisionist positions will help as you listen to and engage with your children.”
Another reviewer brought up concerns that Rachel would recommend this book. I guess, knowing what I know of Sprinkle, I read this as her giving a ‘counter’ book option of what to be cautious of, not that his book was one to emulate. But I suppose it’s not super clear.
Rachel is right to caution readers that just because someone says they are a Christian, doesn’t mean their beliefs align with Scripture. Right now Revisionist Christianity is “popular, enticing, and deadly; if our children embrace it, our role is to call it out.” It is a distortion of Scriptural beliefs that ultimately undermines God’s Word and truth itself.
Rosaria Butterfield takes on Preston Sprinkle pretty candidly in her book Five Lies of Our Anti-Christian Age, and after doing some of my own reading and researching, I wouldn’t necessarily say avoid Preston Sprinkle at all costs, but I would be very cautious in aligning your beliefs to his. I’m not entirely sure where he stands at this very moment but I think he has decided he doesn’t believe in hell and is currently wrestling with an egalitarian view of women in the church, which Wayne Grudem does a pretty compelling job of explaining the path to liberalism from this belief alone in his book Evangelical Feminism, which is probably accelerated considering Sprinkle’s belief about hell.
The point is: be wary of Preston Sprinkle, yes, but more importantly, you need to know what truth is before you can spot the lie. Know what the Bible says about all the things. Read Rachel’s book, but read more than Rachel’s book.
She lists her own book at the end of the book as a resource as well as Is God Anti-Gay by Sam Allberry and Does the Bible Affirm Same-Sex Relationships by Rebecca McLaughlin. Both of those are also short books which I’ve read, reviewed, and recommend as well.
[I have read much on this subject, you can browse other resources on my website.]
Recommendation
I like how she concludes her book: “I hope that marinating in the principles of this book has grounded your heart in faith in our loving God… because of our relationship with the all-powerful, loving, and living true God, we can move from parenting out of fear towards parenting in secure trust in the one who will never leave us nor forsake us.”
I’m still working on quelling all of my fear regarding my kids’ faith and future, but I can tell you that I have a lot less fear and a lot more confidence in parenting from reading books like this that remind me that my beliefs regarding LGBT topics are not hateful, bigoted, or misguided. They are grounded in the love and truth of God who created each of us on purpose with a purpose. I don’t have to wonder if I’m on the wrong side of history because I know I am on the right side of God’s truth.
You can have that confidence too. It just takes some study of God’s Word and there are plenty of teachers who have provided books like these to walk you through it.
Be encouraged and inspired to guide your kids through difficult conversations knowing you are leading them to the ultimate place of love, truth, belonging, and life.
**Received a copy via The Good Book Company in exchange for an honest review**
Book Review Blog | Facebook | Pinterest | StoryGraph
June 22, 2025
Excellent. Such a practical book for parents, especially with young kids, to be proactive in teaching kids about God's good design for sex and sexuality.
August 30, 2024
Editing the story so that there are two people representing Christ, or two people representing the church, distorts the gospel picture just as deeply as the distortion of adultery, or the distortion of sexual violence in marriage. To these distortions and more, God says "No" because they are sin against his great "Yes" in Christ. " -Rachel Gilson
This book won't give you all the answers to this complex topic, but is more of a guide. I actually found it so practical even though my children are still very young. I love how she pulls some advise from Birds and Bees for talking with your chidlren about sex. The advice given in Chapter 2 about having "the talk" was so helpful and practical. At the end of each chapter, there are takeaway points labeled "key principles" and a section on "practices for parents" with practical steps to take from the chapter. This is such a hard topic to broach with our children and it can seem so overwhelming. This book is a great tool to help parents know how to approach this with both truth and love.
The author shows the connection between our sexuality and the gosepel and also shows how it has been broken because of the fall. I also appreciated this quote and reminder, "Every time something in our life exalts romance. We can talk to our kids about how that desire is met in the marriage of God with his people."
My only note of concern with this book was her recommendation for a book by Preston Sprinkle who I have heard some concerning stuff about on his views on this topic. Otherwise, this book was really good and I definitely recommend.
Thank you @thegoodbookcompanyusa for a copy of this book for my honest thoughts!
This book won't give you all the answers to this complex topic, but is more of a guide. I actually found it so practical even though my children are still very young. I love how she pulls some advise from Birds and Bees for talking with your chidlren about sex. The advice given in Chapter 2 about having "the talk" was so helpful and practical. At the end of each chapter, there are takeaway points labeled "key principles" and a section on "practices for parents" with practical steps to take from the chapter. This is such a hard topic to broach with our children and it can seem so overwhelming. This book is a great tool to help parents know how to approach this with both truth and love.
The author shows the connection between our sexuality and the gosepel and also shows how it has been broken because of the fall. I also appreciated this quote and reminder, "Every time something in our life exalts romance. We can talk to our kids about how that desire is met in the marriage of God with his people."
My only note of concern with this book was her recommendation for a book by Preston Sprinkle who I have heard some concerning stuff about on his views on this topic. Otherwise, this book was really good and I definitely recommend.
Thank you @thegoodbookcompanyusa for a copy of this book for my honest thoughts!
May 11, 2025
Another book in my search for a good resource in talking to teens in city ministry about LGBT questions. This one had a lot that didn't apply (though they were probably good tips for parents), but it did have some helpful thoughts.
1. The importance of teaching the value of singleness:
"In a culture that believes in salvation by romance - that we are not full or real persons until we have a partner - a commitment to joyful participation in the family of God is a powerful vision of salvation by faith in Christ alone. This is what our kids need to hear and see. Not the false gospel that they are worthless unless someone romantically loves them."
2. Being clear about what the Bible teaches long before the subject comes up. This is harder to do in city ministry, but can be applied somewhat.
"The moment when a child discloses an experience like same-sex attraction or gender dysphoria is crucial...They don't need a reiteration of what the Bible teaches right in that first conversation. If you have been teaching them along the way, they already know what the Bible teaches. What they need to know is that you see them, that you love them, and that you are there to help guide them.”
1. The importance of teaching the value of singleness:
"In a culture that believes in salvation by romance - that we are not full or real persons until we have a partner - a commitment to joyful participation in the family of God is a powerful vision of salvation by faith in Christ alone. This is what our kids need to hear and see. Not the false gospel that they are worthless unless someone romantically loves them."
2. Being clear about what the Bible teaches long before the subject comes up. This is harder to do in city ministry, but can be applied somewhat.
"The moment when a child discloses an experience like same-sex attraction or gender dysphoria is crucial...They don't need a reiteration of what the Bible teaches right in that first conversation. If you have been teaching them along the way, they already know what the Bible teaches. What they need to know is that you see them, that you love them, and that you are there to help guide them.”
November 12, 2025
A little over a year ago, the fear that is central to this book became deeply rooted in me, as it hit close to home. My daughter wasn't even a year old at the time, but I couldn't help but wonder: How do you raise a kid to stand firm in the truth in a culture that celebrates the exact opposite? This worry was overwhelming, and felt like an impossible task to tackle.
Which is why I found this book to be so refreshing and encouraging. There is something so helpful in how this exploration of a complicated topic is handled in such a simple and calm way. It takes an approach that seems obvious once you are told it, but is one that can so easily be forgotten if not reminded.
My only major complaint is that I wish there was more here because of how massive of a topic this has become in today's world. That being said, the author addresses this at the very end, because of course there is no book that can cover every possible situation. This book instead gives the reader a solid foundation to build off of, and I think there is great value in that.
Which is why I found this book to be so refreshing and encouraging. There is something so helpful in how this exploration of a complicated topic is handled in such a simple and calm way. It takes an approach that seems obvious once you are told it, but is one that can so easily be forgotten if not reminded.
My only major complaint is that I wish there was more here because of how massive of a topic this has become in today's world. That being said, the author addresses this at the very end, because of course there is no book that can cover every possible situation. This book instead gives the reader a solid foundation to build off of, and I think there is great value in that.
August 31, 2024
Rachel is my favorite voice on this topic so I preordered this as soon as I heard about it. She consistently balances grace and truth in such a beautiful way and I appreciate her fidelity to the word of God AND her compassion. May we all aspire to that. This book is short, which makes it very accessible but not comprehensive. And she acknowledges that. The purpose is to give general principles to get us thinking. I loved how practical it was. There are specific scripts you can use for a variety of situations. Most of all, I love that the bulk of the book is devoted to what we should be “for” and not “against.” She paints a compelling picture of life in Jesus and why his ways are worth it. (Highly recommend her first book, Born Again This Way, for a fuller exploration.)
April 10, 2025
Listened to this book because I loved Born Again This Way. This is a great, short little book that provides some guideposts for thinking through how to communicate issues of sexuality to kids. But honestly it provides some points that we all need to think through for ourselves, such as is Jesus and the gospel worth suffering for, especially in a cultural moment where biblical sexual ethics is on the outs. The point she makes (and that I’ve heard her make on other platforms) about not categorizing individuals as “good” or “bad” based on their lifestyle choices, but as either “in Jesus” or “not in Jesus” and “in need of the gospel” or as having “rejected the gospel”, have been super helpful categories for me and provides a basis for mission rather than fear and rejection when interacting with others on this topic.
June 29, 2025
The book is a very useful tool for parents raising their kids in a Christian home, yet part of a world that affirms LGBT+ culture, especially during Pride month. The book, written by an author well familiar with same sex attraction, strikes the balance well with her advice on how to hold true to uncompromising Christian/Godly pricnciples while still being civil to our neighbors not of our faith and facing their own challenges and temptations. The book gives great advice on how to educate your children. And build their awareness, so that they can go about this world with kindness and compassion for others, which is much needed.
August 26, 2024
{Thank you to @thegoodbookcompanyusa for my gifted copy of this title in exchange for an honest review.}
Regardless of if you have children or not, I think this is a must-read!
I loved the way that this book starts at the very beginning and does a fantastic job defining marriage, gender, and even a little bit on reproduction, to ensure that readers have an educated perspective on this topic and on how to introduce children to these concepts from a very young age. I believe that the author did a wonderful job explaining the Christian sexual ethic and the science behind this issue as well.
The yes-no-yes method was very helpful, and I loved how the author encouraged readers to find commonalities between individuals with differing stances. I especially loved how the author pointed out that people who affirm same-sex relationships typically do so because of ideals such as “justice” and “love,” which belong to Christians. The author goes on to explain true justice and true love and how these must be defined biblically so that they may be applied biblically.
This book is full of grace and truth and doesn’t give fear one inch.
Highly recommend!
Regardless of if you have children or not, I think this is a must-read!
I loved the way that this book starts at the very beginning and does a fantastic job defining marriage, gender, and even a little bit on reproduction, to ensure that readers have an educated perspective on this topic and on how to introduce children to these concepts from a very young age. I believe that the author did a wonderful job explaining the Christian sexual ethic and the science behind this issue as well.
The yes-no-yes method was very helpful, and I loved how the author encouraged readers to find commonalities between individuals with differing stances. I especially loved how the author pointed out that people who affirm same-sex relationships typically do so because of ideals such as “justice” and “love,” which belong to Christians. The author goes on to explain true justice and true love and how these must be defined biblically so that they may be applied biblically.
This book is full of grace and truth and doesn’t give fear one inch.
Highly recommend!
February 8, 2025
Gracious, loving and wise. This one is a must-read for parents, but it really would be helpful for anyone.
April 14, 2025
Excellent resource for today’s parents, with kids from 2-16.
Primary takeaway for me is the principle of starting age appropriate discussions early and to be consistent in continuing those discussions throughout their kid’s childhood. Seems obvious, but rarely practiced in real life, in my observation.
Primary takeaway for me is the principle of starting age appropriate discussions early and to be consistent in continuing those discussions throughout their kid’s childhood. Seems obvious, but rarely practiced in real life, in my observation.
December 6, 2024
I recommend this book to Christians primarily as the author comes from the world she talks about. It's not the usual "Sin bad, God good, grrrr" book that Christians usually exhibit and say in everyday life. Instead, it's a thoughtful encounter with questions and realities that people go through and how to love them through that experience without minimizing traditional doctrine.
While I am not (yet) a fully-affirming Christian, I do appreciate this book and its author for what it sets out to do by framing the topic as gently and truthfully as possible.
If a non-Christian is reading this, I hope that you will read this book and dialogue with a Christian who thinks similarly to the author. I know the Christians have done harm and hate to the LBGTQAI+ world and I know that is not of the Love of Jesus or God the Father. We are learning (albeit slower than I wish would happen) to know what it means to love another in a deeply polarized world.
While I am not (yet) a fully-affirming Christian, I do appreciate this book and its author for what it sets out to do by framing the topic as gently and truthfully as possible.
If a non-Christian is reading this, I hope that you will read this book and dialogue with a Christian who thinks similarly to the author. I know the Christians have done harm and hate to the LBGTQAI+ world and I know that is not of the Love of Jesus or God the Father. We are learning (albeit slower than I wish would happen) to know what it means to love another in a deeply polarized world.
September 2, 2024
I received Parenting Without Panic in an LGBT Affirming World compliments of The Good Book Company in exchange for my honest review.
Parenting Without Panic in an LGBT Affirming World is the second book by author Rachel Gilson. I'm so grateful for this book because I have longed for a resource like this for quite some time. The book gives parents practical tips for talking to their children about sex, homosexuality, and transgenderism from a biblical perspective. At the beginning of Parenting Without Panic in an LGBT Affirming World Rachel wrote about the importance of teaching children God's design for sex and marriage.
While these conversations can feel awkward, they are important and Rachel equips parents with the tools they need to start the conversations. She has a few sentences parents can easily memorize and implement when teaching their children that are so helpful.
Rachel offers readers a unique perspective as a Christian who struggles with same sex attraction. The book helpfully reminds readers that struggling with sins other than homosexuality and transgenderism doesn't make one better or less of a sinner and that the ground is level at the cross. Her approach to each topic maintains an excellent balance of truth and grace. She doesn't shy away from what the Bible teaches and she does so with compassion and gentleness. Her example is one I hope to see many Christians, including myself, emulate.
She also encourages parents to let faith drive these tough conversations rather than fear. On page 6 she wrote, "The problem with fear is that it makes us act less like Jesus, not more. Fear tends to make us isolate ourselves instead of connecting with others and loving them. Fear tends to make us go on the attack instead of dying to ourselves. Fear is very real and very powerful, but Christ our Savior is more real and more powerful. He calls us and our children to life to the full (John 10:10)."
Parenting Without Panic in an LGBT Affirming World concludes with ways parents can love their children if their children are homosexual or transgender. This section of the book is full of principles backed by Scripture and I found myself so encouraged upon reading it. On page 31 she tenderly wrote, "As Christians, we are not surprised when bodies aren't experienced as they were designed to be, because we know about the Fall! We can recognize that the experience of gender dysphoria is real without affirming that adopting a transgender identity is right."
In Chapter 4, Rachel includes a brief response she heard a friend give to her daughter about rainbow flags and was excited because our family takes the same approach. Her friend said, "Instead of being angry, let's decide every time we see a rainbow flag, we're going to take a minute to pray for the people who put the flag up, that they would have a chance to hear the gospel and put their trust in Jesus." I love how simple and Christ like this response is and I hope Rachel's inclusion of it in the book will encourage more Christians to follow suit.
I'm deeply grateful for Rachel's voice and eagerly anticipate reading and learning more from her in the future. If you are a parent and/or disciple children in any capacity, I highly recommend purchasing a copy of Parenting Without Panic in an LGBT Affirming World. This book is a gift to the church and a must read for those who minister to children.
Parenting Without Panic in an LGBT Affirming World is the second book by author Rachel Gilson. I'm so grateful for this book because I have longed for a resource like this for quite some time. The book gives parents practical tips for talking to their children about sex, homosexuality, and transgenderism from a biblical perspective. At the beginning of Parenting Without Panic in an LGBT Affirming World Rachel wrote about the importance of teaching children God's design for sex and marriage.
While these conversations can feel awkward, they are important and Rachel equips parents with the tools they need to start the conversations. She has a few sentences parents can easily memorize and implement when teaching their children that are so helpful.
Rachel offers readers a unique perspective as a Christian who struggles with same sex attraction. The book helpfully reminds readers that struggling with sins other than homosexuality and transgenderism doesn't make one better or less of a sinner and that the ground is level at the cross. Her approach to each topic maintains an excellent balance of truth and grace. She doesn't shy away from what the Bible teaches and she does so with compassion and gentleness. Her example is one I hope to see many Christians, including myself, emulate.
She also encourages parents to let faith drive these tough conversations rather than fear. On page 6 she wrote, "The problem with fear is that it makes us act less like Jesus, not more. Fear tends to make us isolate ourselves instead of connecting with others and loving them. Fear tends to make us go on the attack instead of dying to ourselves. Fear is very real and very powerful, but Christ our Savior is more real and more powerful. He calls us and our children to life to the full (John 10:10)."
Parenting Without Panic in an LGBT Affirming World concludes with ways parents can love their children if their children are homosexual or transgender. This section of the book is full of principles backed by Scripture and I found myself so encouraged upon reading it. On page 31 she tenderly wrote, "As Christians, we are not surprised when bodies aren't experienced as they were designed to be, because we know about the Fall! We can recognize that the experience of gender dysphoria is real without affirming that adopting a transgender identity is right."
In Chapter 4, Rachel includes a brief response she heard a friend give to her daughter about rainbow flags and was excited because our family takes the same approach. Her friend said, "Instead of being angry, let's decide every time we see a rainbow flag, we're going to take a minute to pray for the people who put the flag up, that they would have a chance to hear the gospel and put their trust in Jesus." I love how simple and Christ like this response is and I hope Rachel's inclusion of it in the book will encourage more Christians to follow suit.
I'm deeply grateful for Rachel's voice and eagerly anticipate reading and learning more from her in the future. If you are a parent and/or disciple children in any capacity, I highly recommend purchasing a copy of Parenting Without Panic in an LGBT Affirming World. This book is a gift to the church and a must read for those who minister to children.
October 31, 2024
This short, conversational book tackles tough topics in a gracious and winsome way. The author shares from her own experience and covers core biblical principles, exploring ways that parents can approach conversations about sexuality with young children and school-age kids. The book is well-organized and easy to follow, and the highly readable, personal writing style helps defuse some of the stress parents will feel around the topic. There are also bullet-point summaries at the end of each chapter for easy reference, reminding readers of principles and suggested practices from that chapter.
This book is thoughtful, compassionate, and nuanced. The author explains God’s vision for sexuality, as represented through the Bible and the created order, and she writes about ways that parents can start teaching their kids about sexuality and reproduction in age-appropriate ways early on, so that they can be the ones teaching their kids about this, instead of their kids’ peers or the culture at large. She also writes about the impact of both chosen sin and unchosen brokenness on people’s bodies and lives. This chapter also briefly addresses nuances regarding rare intersex biological conditions.
The next chapter offers suggestions and ideas for how to pursue conversations about LGBT-specific issues, and another chapter addresses the fear that many parents feel when teaching counter-cultural concepts, both out of their concern that their kids will repeat and represent them poorly, and because of their fear or experience of their child being rejected or excluded because of their family’s beliefs. The author validates parents’ concerns while also sharing biblical examples and principles for dealing with this.
The final chapter offers helpful, sensitive insight on how to respond when LGBT issues hit close to home, especially when a child is questioning their sexuality or comes out. This chapter shares advice for how to handle this in a loving and gentle way, and also explores motivations for and core ideas from revisionist teachings that some Christians embrace to reconcile their faith with LGBT-affirming stances. The author only briefly addresses this, and recommends other books for a deep dive.
This book will appeal to Christian parents who want to teach a traditional biblical sexual ethic to their children, but who feel overwhelmed because of cultural opposition and their uncertainty about how to do things differently than their own parents. The author’s personal experiences, calm and nuanced writing, and biblical perspective will encourage and help parents. I also appreciate that the author doesn’t just write to parents, but addresses other important adults in a child’s life as well. Overall, this book is a solid resource, and its brevity will make it accessible to busy parents who don’t have time to read something more extensive.
I received a free copy from the publisher, and am voluntarily leaving an honest review.
This book is thoughtful, compassionate, and nuanced. The author explains God’s vision for sexuality, as represented through the Bible and the created order, and she writes about ways that parents can start teaching their kids about sexuality and reproduction in age-appropriate ways early on, so that they can be the ones teaching their kids about this, instead of their kids’ peers or the culture at large. She also writes about the impact of both chosen sin and unchosen brokenness on people’s bodies and lives. This chapter also briefly addresses nuances regarding rare intersex biological conditions.
The next chapter offers suggestions and ideas for how to pursue conversations about LGBT-specific issues, and another chapter addresses the fear that many parents feel when teaching counter-cultural concepts, both out of their concern that their kids will repeat and represent them poorly, and because of their fear or experience of their child being rejected or excluded because of their family’s beliefs. The author validates parents’ concerns while also sharing biblical examples and principles for dealing with this.
The final chapter offers helpful, sensitive insight on how to respond when LGBT issues hit close to home, especially when a child is questioning their sexuality or comes out. This chapter shares advice for how to handle this in a loving and gentle way, and also explores motivations for and core ideas from revisionist teachings that some Christians embrace to reconcile their faith with LGBT-affirming stances. The author only briefly addresses this, and recommends other books for a deep dive.
This book will appeal to Christian parents who want to teach a traditional biblical sexual ethic to their children, but who feel overwhelmed because of cultural opposition and their uncertainty about how to do things differently than their own parents. The author’s personal experiences, calm and nuanced writing, and biblical perspective will encourage and help parents. I also appreciate that the author doesn’t just write to parents, but addresses other important adults in a child’s life as well. Overall, this book is a solid resource, and its brevity will make it accessible to busy parents who don’t have time to read something more extensive.
I received a free copy from the publisher, and am voluntarily leaving an honest review.
November 19, 2024
👍🏼 WHAT I LIKED: Rachel’s honesty and powerful testimony. From the beginning, Rachel is honest about her past and how as a youth and young adult she engaged in same-sex relationships. She also briefly shares how God “interrupted her life” and confronted her with the gospel when reading “Mere Christianity” by C.S. Lewis and how it became the “defining center” of her life.
🪴 WHO IS THIS FOR: Recommended for parents of preschool through elementary-school children, this book would also be good for extended family members, as well as Christian counselors, teachers, and mentors.
💭 OVERALL THOUGHTS: Rachel, an adult and parent who continues to experience same-sex attraction but has chosen to follow Jesus, brings a unique perspective and firsthand knowledge to what children today are asking, feeling, and being exposed to and how parents can approach tough conversations about sexuality and reproduction with grace and wisdom versus panic and fear.
Being that my children range in age from preschool to third grade, I found the first two chapters most helpful where Rachel encourages parents to look for examples and opportunities to teach children about God’s positive vision for our bodies and how parents are the best *first teacher* of their children when it comes to learning about the correct names of body parts, reproduction, and biblical sexuality.
Overall, this is a quick read that is rich in godly wisdom and practical, age-appropriate advice that will equip parents and anyone else who cares for children and has a heart for teaching them the truth about God’s creation, design, and love.
Thank you, @thegoodbookcompanyusa, for my copy in exchange for an honest review.
🌟 Recommend!
🪴 WHO IS THIS FOR: Recommended for parents of preschool through elementary-school children, this book would also be good for extended family members, as well as Christian counselors, teachers, and mentors.
💭 OVERALL THOUGHTS: Rachel, an adult and parent who continues to experience same-sex attraction but has chosen to follow Jesus, brings a unique perspective and firsthand knowledge to what children today are asking, feeling, and being exposed to and how parents can approach tough conversations about sexuality and reproduction with grace and wisdom versus panic and fear.
Being that my children range in age from preschool to third grade, I found the first two chapters most helpful where Rachel encourages parents to look for examples and opportunities to teach children about God’s positive vision for our bodies and how parents are the best *first teacher* of their children when it comes to learning about the correct names of body parts, reproduction, and biblical sexuality.
Overall, this is a quick read that is rich in godly wisdom and practical, age-appropriate advice that will equip parents and anyone else who cares for children and has a heart for teaching them the truth about God’s creation, design, and love.
Thank you, @thegoodbookcompanyusa, for my copy in exchange for an honest review.
🌟 Recommend!
June 25, 2025
*Audiobook and loved that the author herself is the reader!
This is a great resource and has a lot of helpful insights.
One issue I have with it, however, is the assumption that Christians will typically allow their kids to watch shows/movies with LGBT+ characters and/or allow them to have LGBT teachers in elementary school. Young children are too little to understand, and I think normalizing those things sets children up for following the world over the Lord.
Still, I personally know of no other Christian voice that is as committed to biblical sexual ethics (& able to wisely explain why) while simultaneously remaining extremely compassionate as Rachel Gilson, and I have plenty of takeaways from this book.
This is a great resource and has a lot of helpful insights.
One issue I have with it, however, is the assumption that Christians will typically allow their kids to watch shows/movies with LGBT+ characters and/or allow them to have LGBT teachers in elementary school. Young children are too little to understand, and I think normalizing those things sets children up for following the world over the Lord.
Still, I personally know of no other Christian voice that is as committed to biblical sexual ethics (& able to wisely explain why) while simultaneously remaining extremely compassionate as Rachel Gilson, and I have plenty of takeaways from this book.
August 13, 2025
I really appreciated this book by Rachel Gilson. It was so well written. Rachel has a gift for explaining complex issues and theology in an easy-to-understand way. She expertly weaves the gospel throughout and holds the reader accountable to the unwavering truth of God’s word coupled with love.
I liked how short this book is, as most parents of young children don’t have a lot of time for reading. She offers hope, guidance, and grace for parents raising kids in a rapidly changing world.
I liked how short this book is, as most parents of young children don’t have a lot of time for reading. She offers hope, guidance, and grace for parents raising kids in a rapidly changing world.
December 30, 2024
Grace-filled, honest, truthful,kind and gentle! It has loads of practical wisdom for such a small and concise book. Even though it’s technically a parenting book it’s helping me think through things for myself as well. Gilson speaks clearly even as she navigates the complex nuance that surrounds the realities of this topic. I love her positive tone throughout this book.
August 27, 2025
I thought this was surprisingly well done and I would refer to it again. Keeping open and honest forms of communication and using the correct terms for genitalia I think are a great way to open up this conversation. I would add a more ongoing conversation with kids about God’s design for family as well not just individual sexuality.
September 16, 2025
Excellent treatment of a difficult and controversial topic. Brings hope and love, refocusing readers on the 'Yes's of scripture that lead to the 'No's where historically the Church has just gone on and on about the 'No's.
Gilson speaks from her own experiences of moving from an unchurched lesbian atheist to where she is today which brings an authenticity to the text that is vital.
Gilson speaks from her own experiences of moving from an unchurched lesbian atheist to where she is today which brings an authenticity to the text that is vital.
November 21, 2025
This was so wonderful. What a beautiful, humble, gracious, and gospel-filled resource about how to parent confidently and calmly in the midst of our current broken world and what it demands we accept as truth. I loved this author’s tone, scripture use, and overall mindset. I will be returning to this again and again.
February 1, 2025
A well written concise book on how to start this conversation with your kids (especially younger kids). Gilson also gives some practical tools and language. This won’t answer all of your questions, but it’s a great starting point.
December 25, 2025
Really good principles
Really good principles are outlined for bringing our kids up to navigate this challenging topic. Appreciated the emphasis on giving our kids firm foundations from an early age so they are more equipped if/when the challenges come up
Really good principles are outlined for bringing our kids up to navigate this challenging topic. Appreciated the emphasis on giving our kids firm foundations from an early age so they are more equipped if/when the challenges come up
November 10, 2024
An excellent resource. Short, practical, gracious, and gospel-centered.
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March 20, 2025I would recommend for anyone who will be engaging with the world regarding sexual ethics and wanting to do so with grace and truth, not just parents.
March 27, 2025
Such a calm, level-headed response rooted in grace without compromising truth.
April 7, 2025
Such a helpful book!
August 2, 2025
Must read for parents
This is a short, concise and practical read that all parents must read. I will be rereading it. So many practical tips and so Biblical.
This is a short, concise and practical read that all parents must read. I will be rereading it. So many practical tips and so Biblical.
February 20, 2025
Could not recommend more!!! Practical questions and responses, biblical references and connections, all while tying in her personal experience. I have so much respect for the way Gilson uses vulnerability to try and lead Christian parents! I’m obviously not a parent but worry like one so might as well start reading up now haha
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