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IOU #5
Notorious
Picking up your favorite adult film star at a bar in Vegas is a bad idea—especially when you wake up the next morning married to him. Ask me how I know.
Before I met Velvet the Cowboy, the public knew me as an innocuous guy who was running for office.
Now I’ve gone from boring to notorious in twenty-four hours.
The hot stranger’s ring on my finger puts a damper on my political ambitions, since his day job isn’t voter-friendly. An annulment is a no-go, and a quickie divorce would make me look unreliable.
In any case, when I find out Velvet’s dark plans, I know I can’t let him out of my sight. Which means I’m taking a gorgeous, 6’6”, slow-talking cowboy home with me to protect him from himself.
Being with him might light my career on fire. I’m just not expecting it to do the same to my heart.
Notorious is a stand-alone contemporary romance about Johnny Haskell, a cowboy turned adult star who stops to pet every good dog (and they’re all good dogs), and Kurt Delmont, a senatorial candidate who wants to save the world. It features recovery from a mental health crisis, healing from old wounds, and love that takes these two by surprise. This book contains sensitive themes; a detailed description of the contents is in the author’s note in the book preview. Happily ever after guaranteed.
Before I met Velvet the Cowboy, the public knew me as an innocuous guy who was running for office.
Now I’ve gone from boring to notorious in twenty-four hours.
The hot stranger’s ring on my finger puts a damper on my political ambitions, since his day job isn’t voter-friendly. An annulment is a no-go, and a quickie divorce would make me look unreliable.
In any case, when I find out Velvet’s dark plans, I know I can’t let him out of my sight. Which means I’m taking a gorgeous, 6’6”, slow-talking cowboy home with me to protect him from himself.
Being with him might light my career on fire. I’m just not expecting it to do the same to my heart.
Notorious is a stand-alone contemporary romance about Johnny Haskell, a cowboy turned adult star who stops to pet every good dog (and they’re all good dogs), and Kurt Delmont, a senatorial candidate who wants to save the world. It features recovery from a mental health crisis, healing from old wounds, and love that takes these two by surprise. This book contains sensitive themes; a detailed description of the contents is in the author’s note in the book preview. Happily ever after guaranteed.
378 pages, Kindle Edition
Published June 6, 2024
242 people are currently reading
3392 people want to read
About the author
Leslie McAdam
35 books1,457 followersLeslie McAdam is a California girl who loves romance and well-defined abs. She lives in a drafty old farmhouse on a small orange tree farm in Southern California with her husband and two small children. Leslie's first published book, The Sun and the Moon, won a 2015 Watty, which is the world's largest online writing competition. She's gone on to receive additional literary awards and has been featured in multiple publications, including Cosmopolitan.com. Her books have been Top 100 Bestsellers on both Amazon and Apple Books. Leslie is employed by day but spends her nights writing about the men of your fantasies.
USA Today interview: http://happyeverafter.usatoday.com/20...
Cosmopolitan: https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love...
USA Today interview: http://happyeverafter.usatoday.com/20...
Cosmopolitan: https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love...
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 167 reviews
June 2, 2024
⭐️ 5 stars ⭐️
⭒ Johnny thought it would be his last day on earth. A drunk marriage in Vegas might just save him from himself.⭒
Johnny and Kurt’s story made me feel so damn much.
Having read Studious and Curious from this series, I was expecting the same super fluffy, low-angst cozy romance vibe.
Notorious knocked all those expectations down. It was still fluffy and sweet and romantic, but also very deep and emotional and dealt with lots of heavy themes.
Johnny’s story was raw and real, and so very painful at times. I’m so glad the HEA was worth the ache this gave my heart.
This hurt, but it was kind of a good hurt?
It hurt ‘cause I really connected with these characters, with their struggles, I saw parts of myself in their story.
This was restorative, a journey of healing, of working through our demons and coming out happier on the other side.
Thankfully, the hurt was balanced out with the sweetest and most caring romance ever. I have a sweet spot for Johnny, but Kurt was so lovely as well. They really felt meant to be.
The smut was really good, but also real. I loved that the author kept the ups and downs of depression and how it affected their sex life.
As always, please take care of yourself if you have triggers.
I know sometimes it’s hard to believe, I struggle with believing it myself some days, but the world is a better place with you in it.
I received a copy of this book from Gay Romance Reviews, and this is my honest review.
CW and tropes (spoilers):
- Cowboy Pornstar vs Politician
- Wake up married
- Suicidal ideations
- SH/suicide attempts
- Grief (loss of loved one)
- Violence and gore
- Graphic retelling of past SA & drugging (not by MCs)
- Homophobia
- Depression
- Strict top/bottom
- Frotting
- Cockwarming
- Light d/s dynamic (dominant in bed)
- Praise kink
“You’re a fixer, eh?” Johnny asks. “Yeah.” “Well, good luck fixing me.”
⭒ Johnny thought it would be his last day on earth. A drunk marriage in Vegas might just save him from himself.⭒
Johnny and Kurt’s story made me feel so damn much.
Having read Studious and Curious from this series, I was expecting the same super fluffy, low-angst cozy romance vibe.
Notorious knocked all those expectations down. It was still fluffy and sweet and romantic, but also very deep and emotional and dealt with lots of heavy themes.
Johnny’s story was raw and real, and so very painful at times. I’m so glad the HEA was worth the ache this gave my heart.
«Everything’s been so dull for so long, but with Kurt, it’s like there’s this candle lighting up something I thought was gone forever.»
This hurt, but it was kind of a good hurt?
It hurt ‘cause I really connected with these characters, with their struggles, I saw parts of myself in their story.
This was restorative, a journey of healing, of working through our demons and coming out happier on the other side.
“I want to fuck you again, darlin’.”
Thankfully, the hurt was balanced out with the sweetest and most caring romance ever. I have a sweet spot for Johnny, but Kurt was so lovely as well. They really felt meant to be.
The smut was really good, but also real. I loved that the author kept the ups and downs of depression and how it affected their sex life.
“The entire world is better when you’re in it with me.”
As always, please take care of yourself if you have triggers.
I know sometimes it’s hard to believe, I struggle with believing it myself some days, but the world is a better place with you in it.
“I promise to stay alive until I see you again.”
I received a copy of this book from Gay Romance Reviews, and this is my honest review.
CW and tropes (spoilers):
- Cowboy Pornstar vs Politician
- Wake up married
- Suicidal ideations
- SH/suicide attempts
- Grief (loss of loved one)
- Violence and gore
- Graphic retelling of past SA & drugging (not by MCs)
- Homophobia
- Depression
- Strict top/bottom
- Frotting
- Cockwarming
- Light d/s dynamic (dominant in bed)
- Praise kink
![Profile Image for Carol [Goodreads Addict].](/_next/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.gr-assets.com%2Fimages%2FS%2Fcompressed.photo.goodreads.com%2Fusers%2F1626057011i%2F10717098._UX200_CR0%2C33%2C200%2C200_.jpg&w=128&q=75)
July 24, 2024
Notorious is book five in the IOU series by Leslie McAdam. This is a very difficult review to write. I have adored this series from the start. The books were sweet, swoony, sexy and wonderful. This book, though, was completely different from the others. Even though in the beginning of the book, the author lists the trigger warnings, I feel like you should know ahead of time that this deals a lot with mental health difficulties and suicidal tendencies. So if you think these might be a trigger for you, then perhaps you should skip this one. They aren’t triggers for me. It just didn’t seem to fit in with the rest of the series. It was dark and some things were tough to read. And there was something that happens at the end that made me gasp! But let me tell you a little more about these characters and let you make your own decision.
Johnny Haskell is thirty five years old. Johnny is a huge, gorgeous man. He loves animals and spent some of his childhood on a ranch so he is a cowboy at heart. But now, he is a well known and very popular porn star known as Velvet the Cowboy. Johnny is in Vegas to receive an award. It was only supposed to be a short trip to the hotel bar when he met the sweet, handsome man and bought him a drink. That one drink led to a LOT more and voila, they woke up with a ring on their fingers that wasn’t there before!
“Well, heck. I think we might be hitched. What’s your name again?”
Kurt Delmont is thirty two years old. His mother is currently running for president and he is running for senator. Although the race isn’t going well at this point. Kurt has always wanted to help people. He’s a fixer by nature. And it seems like running for office is the best way to bring about change. He’s in Vegas for a fundraiser and afterwards, stops in the bar for a drink. He can’t believe his eyes when he sees Johnny sitting at the bar. He is a huge fan of his. Has crushed on him for years. And now, here he is sitting next to him. The drinks start flowing and, well, you already know the rest.
When they wake up and realize what they’ve done, do they get an annulment? A quickie divorce? Or stay married until the election? No matter what, this isn’t going to be great for his poll numbers. But then, Kurt realizes that there is something else going on here. That Johnny has some other very dark plans for while he was in Vegas. There is no way Kurt is letting this man go now. He’s going to take him back to California to his home and is not letting him out of his sight.
“The only way out is through.”
Johnny is a very proud man and he can’t accept charity from Kurt but he can also see that Kurt isn’t going to let this go. And he also realizes that maybe Kurt is right and that he can help him. As they spend time together, they begin to respect one another, like each other even. And fall for each other. Secrets are shared eventually. And Kurt is more determined than ever to make Johnny’s life better.
So I think I’ll stop there. Both of these men are GOOD men! I feel like in Kurt’s efforts to help Johnny, he maybe saw himself more clearly. And honestly, Johnny broke my heart with all he had been through. I do want to add that the author did a beautiful job telling this story. I felt like she did it very respectfully. But that ‘gasp’ moment I mentioned at the end came right out of left field for me! Overall, this book was a lot darker then the others in the series. The themes of the story took me away from the romance which made me sad. So while it was a well written book, it just wasn’t what I expected or even wanted. Still, I’m giving it four stars because this is clearly a me thing. I don’t know if there are more books in the series or not but if there are, I will research it thoroughly before I decide if I want to read it.
“The entire world is better when you’re in it with me.”
For more about this book and so many others, come and visit me at Carol's Crazy Bookish World.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/Carol...
Johnny Haskell is thirty five years old. Johnny is a huge, gorgeous man. He loves animals and spent some of his childhood on a ranch so he is a cowboy at heart. But now, he is a well known and very popular porn star known as Velvet the Cowboy. Johnny is in Vegas to receive an award. It was only supposed to be a short trip to the hotel bar when he met the sweet, handsome man and bought him a drink. That one drink led to a LOT more and voila, they woke up with a ring on their fingers that wasn’t there before!
“Well, heck. I think we might be hitched. What’s your name again?”
Kurt Delmont is thirty two years old. His mother is currently running for president and he is running for senator. Although the race isn’t going well at this point. Kurt has always wanted to help people. He’s a fixer by nature. And it seems like running for office is the best way to bring about change. He’s in Vegas for a fundraiser and afterwards, stops in the bar for a drink. He can’t believe his eyes when he sees Johnny sitting at the bar. He is a huge fan of his. Has crushed on him for years. And now, here he is sitting next to him. The drinks start flowing and, well, you already know the rest.
When they wake up and realize what they’ve done, do they get an annulment? A quickie divorce? Or stay married until the election? No matter what, this isn’t going to be great for his poll numbers. But then, Kurt realizes that there is something else going on here. That Johnny has some other very dark plans for while he was in Vegas. There is no way Kurt is letting this man go now. He’s going to take him back to California to his home and is not letting him out of his sight.
“The only way out is through.”
Johnny is a very proud man and he can’t accept charity from Kurt but he can also see that Kurt isn’t going to let this go. And he also realizes that maybe Kurt is right and that he can help him. As they spend time together, they begin to respect one another, like each other even. And fall for each other. Secrets are shared eventually. And Kurt is more determined than ever to make Johnny’s life better.
So I think I’ll stop there. Both of these men are GOOD men! I feel like in Kurt’s efforts to help Johnny, he maybe saw himself more clearly. And honestly, Johnny broke my heart with all he had been through. I do want to add that the author did a beautiful job telling this story. I felt like she did it very respectfully. But that ‘gasp’ moment I mentioned at the end came right out of left field for me! Overall, this book was a lot darker then the others in the series. The themes of the story took me away from the romance which made me sad. So while it was a well written book, it just wasn’t what I expected or even wanted. Still, I’m giving it four stars because this is clearly a me thing. I don’t know if there are more books in the series or not but if there are, I will research it thoroughly before I decide if I want to read it.
“The entire world is better when you’re in it with me.”
For more about this book and so many others, come and visit me at Carol's Crazy Bookish World.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/Carol...
May 26, 2024
Okay I went into this expecting a cute, sweet and spicy read... I got that and so much more!
This one hit me harder than I expected, I felt so much of what Johnny's feeling. Kurt is an angel. They're both so good to and for each other. I've never highlighted a kindle book as much as this.
Definitely check the trigger warnings but if you can, give this a read when it's released. It was both heartbreaking and healing. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
This one hit me harder than I expected, I felt so much of what Johnny's feeling. Kurt is an angel. They're both so good to and for each other. I've never highlighted a kindle book as much as this.
Definitely check the trigger warnings but if you can, give this a read when it's released. It was both heartbreaking and healing. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
May 28, 2024
Notorious is a beautiful book about mental health, healing after trauma and being someone’s ‘person’, no matter what they are going through.
The story starts with Kurt Delmont and Johnny Haskell waking up married in a hotel room after a wild night out in Vegas… although political senate hopeful Kurt knows Johnny better by his stage name… Velvet the cowboy, a professional gay pornstar.
When I initially read the blurb I thought it would be a bit of a sweet, funny forbidden relationship story, that that couldn’t be further from the truth. Without spoiling anything too much, this book deals with incredibly heavy topics such as our MC facing depression, sexual assault and suicide; but also contains a truly beautiful message about healing and the importance of therapy, medication and in some cases, hospitalisation. There was also a deep commentary on toxic masculinity and the way that society views porn and adult film stars.
Despite both outward pressures for one MC and battling mental health for the other, our MC’s stick together like glue through the tough times, and I loved watching the sheer amount of support that is given, even when the MC feels like he wants to do nothing more than go to sleep and never wake up.
I absolutely recommend this book but please don’t go into it expecting a light and fluffy romcom, because it definitely isn’t! However the romance was incredibly sweet, the heat was off the charts (I mean one of them is a porn star, how could it not be?!) and I loved reading Johnny’s cowboy drawl and all his similes; I’m gonna be using ‘happier than a puppy with two tails’ from now until forever 🤣💕
Read Notorious for:
✨ Cowboy/adult film star x politician
✨ Waking up married in Vegas
✨ Soft dom/sub vibes
✨ Healing from trauma
✨ Mental health rep
✨ Supportive family network
✨ Triumph over injustice
✨ Just two cinnamon rolls in love
The reason this didn’t get the full 5 stars from me is simply because I think the way that the ‘bad guy’ was dealt with in the end seemed really out of character to me 😅 Obviously it was done to cameo one of the MCs from this book working with a character from another of the author’s books, but it just seemed a bizarre choice of how to deal with him! Let me know if you agree if you’ve read the book!
Overall though, this book is well worth the read! Thank you to the author and GRR for an ARC of this book! It’s available on 6th June 2024 💕
The story starts with Kurt Delmont and Johnny Haskell waking up married in a hotel room after a wild night out in Vegas… although political senate hopeful Kurt knows Johnny better by his stage name… Velvet the cowboy, a professional gay pornstar.
When I initially read the blurb I thought it would be a bit of a sweet, funny forbidden relationship story, that that couldn’t be further from the truth. Without spoiling anything too much, this book deals with incredibly heavy topics such as our MC facing depression, sexual assault and suicide; but also contains a truly beautiful message about healing and the importance of therapy, medication and in some cases, hospitalisation. There was also a deep commentary on toxic masculinity and the way that society views porn and adult film stars.
Despite both outward pressures for one MC and battling mental health for the other, our MC’s stick together like glue through the tough times, and I loved watching the sheer amount of support that is given, even when the MC feels like he wants to do nothing more than go to sleep and never wake up.
I absolutely recommend this book but please don’t go into it expecting a light and fluffy romcom, because it definitely isn’t! However the romance was incredibly sweet, the heat was off the charts (I mean one of them is a porn star, how could it not be?!) and I loved reading Johnny’s cowboy drawl and all his similes; I’m gonna be using ‘happier than a puppy with two tails’ from now until forever 🤣💕
Read Notorious for:
✨ Cowboy/adult film star x politician
✨ Waking up married in Vegas
✨ Soft dom/sub vibes
✨ Healing from trauma
✨ Mental health rep
✨ Supportive family network
✨ Triumph over injustice
✨ Just two cinnamon rolls in love
The reason this didn’t get the full 5 stars from me is simply because I think the way that the ‘bad guy’ was dealt with in the end seemed really out of character to me 😅 Obviously it was done to cameo one of the MCs from this book working with a character from another of the author’s books, but it just seemed a bizarre choice of how to deal with him! Let me know if you agree if you’ve read the book!
Overall though, this book is well worth the read! Thank you to the author and GRR for an ARC of this book! It’s available on 6th June 2024 💕
dnf
October 31, 2025Dnf 30%
The author had a really lovely content warning at the beginning of the book stating to not read it if suicide is triggering for you. It was a long and nice content warning and I have no personal connections with anyone suicidal or who has died by suicide so I went ahead and started reading.
But even without having any connections to suicide- this book was way too much for me. One pov of a character who is actively suicidal and the second pov of someone who has lost someone to suicide and now is trying to prevent the other from committing suicide. It was just way too much for me. It felt like not a page went by without mention of suicide. Anyway, it was too much so I’m stopping. Obviously this isn’t on the author- she did have a content warning.
But also- this really bothered me so much. Yall is plural. It is not singular. It is plural, it is short for you all. You would not call a single person yall. You could say how are yall if you are talking to a group of people, but not when you are talking to a singular person that makes no sense. It happened so much and it bothered me every time!!
The author had a really lovely content warning at the beginning of the book stating to not read it if suicide is triggering for you. It was a long and nice content warning and I have no personal connections with anyone suicidal or who has died by suicide so I went ahead and started reading.
But even without having any connections to suicide- this book was way too much for me. One pov of a character who is actively suicidal and the second pov of someone who has lost someone to suicide and now is trying to prevent the other from committing suicide. It was just way too much for me. It felt like not a page went by without mention of suicide. Anyway, it was too much so I’m stopping. Obviously this isn’t on the author- she did have a content warning.
But also- this really bothered me so much. Yall is plural. It is not singular. It is plural, it is short for you all. You would not call a single person yall. You could say how are yall if you are talking to a group of people, but not when you are talking to a singular person that makes no sense. It happened so much and it bothered me every time!!
June 6, 2024
Rating: 5
Steam: 3
PoV: dual, 1st person
Genre: contemporary romance, MM
Main tropes: mental health, woke up married, sex worker
Notorious was an utterly raw and heartbreaking story, but also full of support, love and healing. A fantastic and hard-hitting read that will stay with me for a long, long time.
I highly encourage anyone who is considering to read this one to check out the TWs, as there are several topics and scenes that might be triggering. I found some scenes very difficult to read, and it absolutely broke my heart to learn about everything that Johnny had been dealing with.
It was an emotional story that had me in tears multiple times, and kept me up way too late because I badly needed to know that Kurt and Johnny would be OK before I went to sleep. The mental health issues were well written and felt realistic, it was painful and raw, but with a HEA that was absolutely worth all the heartache and the tears. The story was well balanced overall though, with a lot of sweet and romantic moments between Kurt and Johnny.
I loved how dedicated Kurt was to Johnny and his health, the way he kept checking in and making sure he did as much as he could to help Johnny was everything. The support and determination from Kurt was admirable, and it felt like he was exactly what Johnny needed in his life. They were so sweet together, the attraction between them was strong from the start and I loved how they slowly fell in love once they got to know each other.
Notorious was a fantastic and deeply emotional read that I got completely caught up in and didn't want to put down. The author did an amazing job with this story, and I loved the characters and the love they had for each other - Kurt and Johnny will definitely stay with me for a long time!
-
Thanks to Gay Romance Reviews for the opportunity to read and review this book. These are my honest thoughts and opinions.
Steam: 3
PoV: dual, 1st person
Genre: contemporary romance, MM
Main tropes: mental health, woke up married, sex worker
Notorious was an utterly raw and heartbreaking story, but also full of support, love and healing. A fantastic and hard-hitting read that will stay with me for a long, long time.
I highly encourage anyone who is considering to read this one to check out the TWs, as there are several topics and scenes that might be triggering. I found some scenes very difficult to read, and it absolutely broke my heart to learn about everything that Johnny had been dealing with.
It was an emotional story that had me in tears multiple times, and kept me up way too late because I badly needed to know that Kurt and Johnny would be OK before I went to sleep. The mental health issues were well written and felt realistic, it was painful and raw, but with a HEA that was absolutely worth all the heartache and the tears. The story was well balanced overall though, with a lot of sweet and romantic moments between Kurt and Johnny.
I loved how dedicated Kurt was to Johnny and his health, the way he kept checking in and making sure he did as much as he could to help Johnny was everything. The support and determination from Kurt was admirable, and it felt like he was exactly what Johnny needed in his life. They were so sweet together, the attraction between them was strong from the start and I loved how they slowly fell in love once they got to know each other.
Notorious was a fantastic and deeply emotional read that I got completely caught up in and didn't want to put down. The author did an amazing job with this story, and I loved the characters and the love they had for each other - Kurt and Johnny will definitely stay with me for a long time!
-
Thanks to Gay Romance Reviews for the opportunity to read and review this book. These are my honest thoughts and opinions.
June 8, 2024
This is my first book from the author but it definitely won’t be the last. Absolutely stellar storytelling navigating hugely sensitive and heavy topics in an absolutely griping yet respectful way. The mental health rep in this book is one of the best I’ve ever seen.
Johnny and Kurt are amazing, genuine, multilayered characters I just loved. Kurt blew me away with his support of Johnny and his big heart and his strong ambition to do good in the world. Johnny broke my heart with everything he went through and seeing his healing helped wrap this up for me beautifully.
I also have to mention that their chemistry and evolving dynamic was insanely spicy.
I think the only thing that didn’t work for me in the book was the way one of the plot points was tied up with regard to the wrong doer and how he was dealt with in the end. It shifted this to a territory I wasn’t expecting to be so dark and it didn’t ring true with the MC involved.
Expect:
* Cowboy/Adult entertainer x hopeful politician
* Size difference
* Mental health rep including recovery from SA, depression and suicidal ideation
* Kink exploration
* Found family
Johnny and Kurt are amazing, genuine, multilayered characters I just loved. Kurt blew me away with his support of Johnny and his big heart and his strong ambition to do good in the world. Johnny broke my heart with everything he went through and seeing his healing helped wrap this up for me beautifully.
I also have to mention that their chemistry and evolving dynamic was insanely spicy.
I think the only thing that didn’t work for me in the book was the way one of the plot points was tied up with regard to the wrong doer and how he was dealt with in the end. It shifted this to a territory I wasn’t expecting to be so dark and it didn’t ring true with the MC involved.
Expect:
* Cowboy/Adult entertainer x hopeful politician
* Size difference
* Mental health rep including recovery from SA, depression and suicidal ideation
* Kink exploration
* Found family
June 22, 2024
3.5 stars, a good read. Important, well-handled themes. There is a lot of gentleness in this story.
However, while the first chapter of this novel is pure poetry, the rest is a good story with clutter in the form of excess words, and unfortunately I rarely enjoy being taken back and forth in time. At least that doesn't last long. I wish the whole book had gotten the careful edit that first chapter did. This could have been epic.
I looked at the e-samples of each book in this series, but this is the only one that appealed, and likely the only one I'll read by this author. I skimmed much of the last several chapters to avoid repetition and sex scenes.
Content warning: past rape, suicidal ideation, mental health challenges, murder.
However, while the first chapter of this novel is pure poetry, the rest is a good story with clutter in the form of excess words, and unfortunately I rarely enjoy being taken back and forth in time. At least that doesn't last long. I wish the whole book had gotten the careful edit that first chapter did. This could have been epic.
I looked at the e-samples of each book in this series, but this is the only one that appealed, and likely the only one I'll read by this author. I skimmed much of the last several chapters to avoid repetition and sex scenes.
Content warning: past rape, suicidal ideation, mental health challenges, murder.
June 13, 2024
***ARC Review***
This is my honest and voluntary review for the ARC I received.
This book is worth it and you need to read it. After you’ve read the Content warning/spoilers/Author’s Note at the beginning of the book, of course. I can’t stress this enough. This book deals with some heavy issues and realities. There’s also SA, so be mindful of that as well. Your mental health matters; so decide accordingly.
That said, Johnny and Kurt are the absolute epitome of love. They don’t know each other for long at all before they wake up married, but gah does something draw them to one another. They just have a level of comfort and familiarity around one another that can’t be explained. It’s almost like their innermost self is reaching out for its other/better half.
I love the honesty rule between Johnny and Kurt. I think it strengthens their relationship and works for them in times when they really need to properly communicate. Johnny is struggling. His intrusive thoughts are strong, his mom has a chronic illness, and something truly awful has happened to him at work. It’s just a LOT to deal with. Kurt is a balm to Johnny’s soul and I like to think that Johnny provides the same care to Kurt. Kurt has some past demons he’s battling as well. These two broken men find a way to help one another.
Johnny’s journey to healing is so hard fought, hard-earned and hard won. I simply loved these two together and can’t gush enough about how right they are for one another, despite their differences. Kurt and Johnny see one another. They get one another. They accept one another. They love one another.
I respect McAdam for how raw and vivid some of the aspects of this book are. It’s a tough read in more than one spot. However, whenever Johnny gets to a breakthrough, it’s stunning. This book is all about mental health awareness and acceptance, but it’s also about how important it is to have a support system around you. I loved Johnny’s mama, May Ella, Noah and August, Danny, Jules, Tawni, and Kurt’s mom. Rowan is something else as well.
I couldn’t help but fist pump when Johnny got the verdict. I was rooting for his peace of mind all along, but that was icing on the cake. It was simply breathtaking. Kurt and Johnny are one of the sweetest love stories you will ever read. They have so much to work through and so much to look forward to. They may have had an unconventional start and a bumpy ride, but their HEA is so darn sweet and so well deserved.
This is my honest and voluntary review for the ARC I received.
This book is worth it and you need to read it. After you’ve read the Content warning/spoilers/Author’s Note at the beginning of the book, of course. I can’t stress this enough. This book deals with some heavy issues and realities. There’s also SA, so be mindful of that as well. Your mental health matters; so decide accordingly.
That said, Johnny and Kurt are the absolute epitome of love. They don’t know each other for long at all before they wake up married, but gah does something draw them to one another. They just have a level of comfort and familiarity around one another that can’t be explained. It’s almost like their innermost self is reaching out for its other/better half.
I love the honesty rule between Johnny and Kurt. I think it strengthens their relationship and works for them in times when they really need to properly communicate. Johnny is struggling. His intrusive thoughts are strong, his mom has a chronic illness, and something truly awful has happened to him at work. It’s just a LOT to deal with. Kurt is a balm to Johnny’s soul and I like to think that Johnny provides the same care to Kurt. Kurt has some past demons he’s battling as well. These two broken men find a way to help one another.
Johnny’s journey to healing is so hard fought, hard-earned and hard won. I simply loved these two together and can’t gush enough about how right they are for one another, despite their differences. Kurt and Johnny see one another. They get one another. They accept one another. They love one another.
I respect McAdam for how raw and vivid some of the aspects of this book are. It’s a tough read in more than one spot. However, whenever Johnny gets to a breakthrough, it’s stunning. This book is all about mental health awareness and acceptance, but it’s also about how important it is to have a support system around you. I loved Johnny’s mama, May Ella, Noah and August, Danny, Jules, Tawni, and Kurt’s mom. Rowan is something else as well.
I couldn’t help but fist pump when Johnny got the verdict. I was rooting for his peace of mind all along, but that was icing on the cake. It was simply breathtaking. Kurt and Johnny are one of the sweetest love stories you will ever read. They have so much to work through and so much to look forward to. They may have had an unconventional start and a bumpy ride, but their HEA is so darn sweet and so well deserved.
May 22, 2024
Before you read this book, you should read the trigger warnings and also the author’s note on her motivation for writing it. Lived experience in this book makes it so well observed, completely believable and one hundred percent emotional.
You don’t need to read the other books in the series but if you had (and I would recommend them all) then you would know that Johnny Haskell aka Velvet the Cowboy has a legal dispute that is being handled by the Weston Ramirez law firm.
Johnny has his demons. He’s had so much on his shoulders. He’s on his knees. Leslie McAdam, pulls no punches. Johnny’s mental state is clear. His inner voice is weaved through the parts of the story when he’s at his lowest. God, I wanted to hug him. I wanted to replace that voice with mine.
The world needs more people like Kurt Delmont. He’s a good guy. If there was ever a man that Johnny needed in his life, that man is Kurt. He arrived at the right time in the right place. Drunken Vegas wedding time. Howdy cowboy.
I feel like these guys could be my best friends. I want to be theirs.
Mental health issues can come out of nowhere and when they do it’s so hard for the person to rationalise. The hormone imbalance stops them seeing a way out. It’s not a weakness to ask for help. Leslie McAdam writes Johnny’s story with so much heart and understanding. The more mental health issues are normalised and understood the better. Bravo to Leslie.
Velvet The Cowboy is a porn star. I would watch his content in a heartbeat. I would probably even join Only Fans just for him. I thought the velvet was for his soft, soft skin. The sexy times between Kurt and Johnny are hot. Man, I really want to see naked Johnny with just his hat on.
You don’t need to read the other books in the series but if you had (and I would recommend them all) then you would know that Johnny Haskell aka Velvet the Cowboy has a legal dispute that is being handled by the Weston Ramirez law firm.
Johnny has his demons. He’s had so much on his shoulders. He’s on his knees. Leslie McAdam, pulls no punches. Johnny’s mental state is clear. His inner voice is weaved through the parts of the story when he’s at his lowest. God, I wanted to hug him. I wanted to replace that voice with mine.
The world needs more people like Kurt Delmont. He’s a good guy. If there was ever a man that Johnny needed in his life, that man is Kurt. He arrived at the right time in the right place. Drunken Vegas wedding time. Howdy cowboy.
I feel like these guys could be my best friends. I want to be theirs.
Mental health issues can come out of nowhere and when they do it’s so hard for the person to rationalise. The hormone imbalance stops them seeing a way out. It’s not a weakness to ask for help. Leslie McAdam writes Johnny’s story with so much heart and understanding. The more mental health issues are normalised and understood the better. Bravo to Leslie.
Velvet The Cowboy is a porn star. I would watch his content in a heartbeat. I would probably even join Only Fans just for him. I thought the velvet was for his soft, soft skin. The sexy times between Kurt and Johnny are hot. Man, I really want to see naked Johnny with just his hat on.
August 13, 2024
RTC
This was a tough book to read - so many tears, but also so much love & love is what triumphs.
This was a tough book to read - so many tears, but also so much love & love is what triumphs.
May 21, 2024
I was such a blubbering mess. I couldn't even see half the book and had to keep wiping the tears out of my eyes. There were all kinds of tears; happy, sad, angry, empathetic tears. This book was raw and tender and like a sore tooth you keep poking with your tongue. This was a really hard but enlightening book to read.
I've been hoping for a Johnny book and was so excited to finally get it and it was perfect. Except for the y'all for a single person, which drove me batty and made me want to yell at him.
Kurt and Johnny were perfect together and I love how easy their relationship was, even with some big minefields. And did I miss Charlie and Rowan's book, because I'm gonna need to know what on earth is going on there!
I've been hoping for a Johnny book and was so excited to finally get it and it was perfect. Except for the y'all for a single person, which drove me batty and made me want to yell at him.
Kurt and Johnny were perfect together and I love how easy their relationship was, even with some big minefields. And did I miss Charlie and Rowan's book, because I'm gonna need to know what on earth is going on there!
Read
June 3, 2024CONTENT WARNING PLUS FULL AUTHOR'S NOTE (which includes spoilers): https://www.lesliemcadamauthor.com/no...
Notorious, while still low-relationship angst, has more extensive content warnings than I usually have for my books, so I'm going to post them below. They are spoilers.
Writing this book ripped out my heart, but it also put it back together again. I hope you love Johnny and Kurt as much as I do. <3
Notorious includes descriptions/depictions of: suicidal ideations, attempts at self-harm, a loved one’s death by suicide, violence and gore, violent sexual assault (not by either of the two romantic leads), sex worker shaming, homophobia, recreational alcohol and drug use, vomiting, hospitalization, mental illness, chronic illness, and financial instability, as well as the usual explicit sexual content and swearing.
Notorious, while still low-relationship angst, has more extensive content warnings than I usually have for my books, so I'm going to post them below. They are spoilers.
Writing this book ripped out my heart, but it also put it back together again. I hope you love Johnny and Kurt as much as I do. <3
Notorious includes descriptions/depictions of: suicidal ideations, attempts at self-harm, a loved one’s death by suicide, violence and gore, violent sexual assault (not by either of the two romantic leads), sex worker shaming, homophobia, recreational alcohol and drug use, vomiting, hospitalization, mental illness, chronic illness, and financial instability, as well as the usual explicit sexual content and swearing.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 10, 2024
Lots of intense, heavy topics explored (but too much for me)
This was a bit of a slog to get through, especially the last 5 chapters or so. I can appreciate the content and the message, but in the end I didn’t really find any enjoyment in it. And maybe it would be weird if I did, but I didn’t find it compelling either. Mostly just heavy and sad. So in hindsight, maybe I shouldn’t have read it and maybe my rating is unfair in that sense, but yeah. In the balance between heavy topics and joyful ones, it skewed too far on the heavy side.
This was a bit of a slog to get through, especially the last 5 chapters or so. I can appreciate the content and the message, but in the end I didn’t really find any enjoyment in it. And maybe it would be weird if I did, but I didn’t find it compelling either. Mostly just heavy and sad. So in hindsight, maybe I shouldn’t have read it and maybe my rating is unfair in that sense, but yeah. In the balance between heavy topics and joyful ones, it skewed too far on the heavy side.
May 29, 2024
Amazing story, but do read the trigger warnings before you start reading. It won't be for everyone.
This is a beautifully emotional read. The writing is flawless and drew me in from the start. As painful as John 's struggles are, I loved being in his head, witnessing both his strength and love. Even when he was suffering, even when he didn't believe he was strong, his strength was clear as day. I understood why he responded the way he did. His concerns, his flaws, made sense, at the end of the day, he loves his mama more than anything, and he proved that. One of things I loved about Notorious is you can clearly see John's logic behind his episodes. They never felt like spontaneous rantings and outbursts.
He struggled terribly with his sense of self and his own value. Initially no amount of encouragement from Kurt changes the way John views himself or the self-loathing he feels. Kurt and John's story grabbed my heart and didn't let go. These two were amazing lead characters. Kurt, is such a perfect book boyfriend, he's kind and giving, and does everything he can to comfort John, and save him from himself. For all the gravity of the story, the guys are so cute together. Throughout the story there's both discovery and the beauty of healing. However, despite this, as most of us know, there is no fix there is just 'management' of mental illness, even so the ending of the story is positive. Fortunately, John had a good support system in Kurt He was John's aide, his confidence and they grew to love one another.
I enjoyed this book so much, it's so far up there as one of my best reads of the year. It's incredibly emotional and sad in parts, but also very believable. Please read the author's trigger warnings, and her motivation for writing this story. There is both love and humour present, but it's not a breezy, light-hearted read, and the subject matter may be a challenge for some.
This is a beautifully emotional read. The writing is flawless and drew me in from the start. As painful as John 's struggles are, I loved being in his head, witnessing both his strength and love. Even when he was suffering, even when he didn't believe he was strong, his strength was clear as day. I understood why he responded the way he did. His concerns, his flaws, made sense, at the end of the day, he loves his mama more than anything, and he proved that. One of things I loved about Notorious is you can clearly see John's logic behind his episodes. They never felt like spontaneous rantings and outbursts.
He struggled terribly with his sense of self and his own value. Initially no amount of encouragement from Kurt changes the way John views himself or the self-loathing he feels. Kurt and John's story grabbed my heart and didn't let go. These two were amazing lead characters. Kurt, is such a perfect book boyfriend, he's kind and giving, and does everything he can to comfort John, and save him from himself. For all the gravity of the story, the guys are so cute together. Throughout the story there's both discovery and the beauty of healing. However, despite this, as most of us know, there is no fix there is just 'management' of mental illness, even so the ending of the story is positive. Fortunately, John had a good support system in Kurt He was John's aide, his confidence and they grew to love one another.
I enjoyed this book so much, it's so far up there as one of my best reads of the year. It's incredibly emotional and sad in parts, but also very believable. Please read the author's trigger warnings, and her motivation for writing this story. There is both love and humour present, but it's not a breezy, light-hearted read, and the subject matter may be a challenge for some.
May 26, 2024
Man this book!! It’s been a minute since I read a book that had me see-sawing through all the emotions and this one had me all over the shop! Definitely a five star read!
Please before reading read the authors note and the warnings because this has some very triggering content!
I was all up in my feels from the very first page of this story. My emotions were all over the place and I really felt for both Johnny and Kurt and I wanted to wrap them in bubble wrap and go to war for them both.
I spent this whole book on the edge of my seat flipping between swooning so hard and bawling my eyes out! These two they grew both together and separately as a couple and individually!
Please before reading read the authors note and the warnings because this has some very triggering content!
I was all up in my feels from the very first page of this story. My emotions were all over the place and I really felt for both Johnny and Kurt and I wanted to wrap them in bubble wrap and go to war for them both.
I spent this whole book on the edge of my seat flipping between swooning so hard and bawling my eyes out! These two they grew both together and separately as a couple and individually!
June 5, 2024
This incredible read stunned me with its deep emotions and raw feels. Kurt and Johnny's story is a powerful combination that is as sharply beautiful as it is heartbreakingly poignant. I honestly loved these two with my whole heart. This is definitely NOT a sunshine and bubbles read, so please, take care of you and heed the trigger warnings.
June 3, 2024
Wow, y'all. Wow.
NOTORIOUS by Leslie McAdam was 396 pages of wow.
I'm going to HEAVILY encourage you to check content and trigger warnings before reading this one. But wow. What a book. This was an amazing love story told with thoughtful attention to detail. If you're looking for a book heavy with mental health/illness rep, and past SA - you can't find a better story.
Kurt and Johnny meet in Vegas and have a very authentic Vegas experience. Meet cute turns Vegas wedding. *at this point, if I ever visit Vegas and DON'T get accidentally married, I will be very disappointed*
The morning after their "wedding" when the decision needs to be made : annulment or what? some of Johnny's secrets come out.
Deciding to go forward together, HONESTY becomes the word for most of the book.
We witness the cold, hard truth of mental illness & intrusive suicidal thoughts, we see treatment and what it's like to be "in recovery" while still fighting. We see two characters struggle with their own brains while falling in love.
When I tell you I loved this story, believe it.
I cried through most of it. Seeing something so horrible and familiar written in words - representation matters.
I loved Johnny and Kurt.
I loved how they love each other.
"I think about Kurt and my promise to him to stay alive. I think about my mama and my need to take care of her. I think about my sister and how she's sacrificed her dreams for Mama, too. I think about Christian saying that to decide is to cut off all other options. The only way out is through."
NOTORIOUS is out June 6th. Listen to your brain, and if reading this would be harmful, then don't do it. But this was one hell of a story. It's absolutely one of my favorites this year.
NOTORIOUS by Leslie McAdam was 396 pages of wow.
I'm going to HEAVILY encourage you to check content and trigger warnings before reading this one. But wow. What a book. This was an amazing love story told with thoughtful attention to detail. If you're looking for a book heavy with mental health/illness rep, and past SA - you can't find a better story.
Kurt and Johnny meet in Vegas and have a very authentic Vegas experience. Meet cute turns Vegas wedding. *at this point, if I ever visit Vegas and DON'T get accidentally married, I will be very disappointed*
The morning after their "wedding" when the decision needs to be made : annulment or what? some of Johnny's secrets come out.
Deciding to go forward together, HONESTY becomes the word for most of the book.
We witness the cold, hard truth of mental illness & intrusive suicidal thoughts, we see treatment and what it's like to be "in recovery" while still fighting. We see two characters struggle with their own brains while falling in love.
When I tell you I loved this story, believe it.
I cried through most of it. Seeing something so horrible and familiar written in words - representation matters.
I loved Johnny and Kurt.
I loved how they love each other.
"I think about Kurt and my promise to him to stay alive. I think about my mama and my need to take care of her. I think about my sister and how she's sacrificed her dreams for Mama, too. I think about Christian saying that to decide is to cut off all other options. The only way out is through."
NOTORIOUS is out June 6th. Listen to your brain, and if reading this would be harmful, then don't do it. But this was one hell of a story. It's absolutely one of my favorites this year.
Read
June 7, 2024Darker than many of the previous IOU books, this book takes on so many difficult topics - mental health, suicidal ideations, previous trauma and more - so if you feel like you need to know more before reading I would definitely consult the trigger warning the author offers... that being said, I was totally sucked into Kurt and Johnny's world from their drunken night to waking up married to the caring way Kurt jumps in with both feet to help Johnny get to a place where he can battle some of his demons.
I love that this book scaffolds on previous stories and we get so many cameos - Sam & Jules, Roman, Danny... it was great to see them interwoven into the fabric of this story and how they help both Johnny and Kurt reconcile the past and look toward the future.
Leslie McAdam has a way of peeling back the layers of each character, feeding us small bites as we learn about the characters along with their love interest and it hooked me from start to finish.
While you can read this book standalone, I think it's honestly best read in order.
I love that this book scaffolds on previous stories and we get so many cameos - Sam & Jules, Roman, Danny... it was great to see them interwoven into the fabric of this story and how they help both Johnny and Kurt reconcile the past and look toward the future.
Leslie McAdam has a way of peeling back the layers of each character, feeding us small bites as we learn about the characters along with their love interest and it hooked me from start to finish.
While you can read this book standalone, I think it's honestly best read in order.
June 8, 2024
I had the honor of reading a very early draft and HOE.LEE.CRAP. This book is truly everything. I am still processing and will have appropriate-ish words for a proper-ish review in the future. Right now, though, I’m still trying to grasp that this happened.
You’re going to LOVE this one!!
**My Review, such as it is… 6/7/24
I do not have words to adequately express how deeply I feel about this book.
I’m not going to recap or summarize. I’m not even going to try to describe how this book has me in my feels. I’m simply going to say that you HAVE to read it if you’re in a space where it won’t harm you.
It. Is. Beautiful.
You’re going to LOVE this one!!
**My Review, such as it is… 6/7/24
I do not have words to adequately express how deeply I feel about this book.
I’m not going to recap or summarize. I’m not even going to try to describe how this book has me in my feels. I’m simply going to say that you HAVE to read it if you’re in a space where it won’t harm you.
It. Is. Beautiful.
June 4, 2024
Format: ARC
New author: No
Rep: Gay, bi; mental health (ptss, suicidal ideation, depression)
Keywords: politician, porn star, city boy/country boy, childhood trauma, therapy, inpatient care, past fake dating, Vegas, woke up married, LOTS of content notes (sexual assault, suicide, etc.)
This book was phenomenal. And still, before you consider this book, read the authors note. Seriously, read it. Then set the book aside and be really sure you’re ready to proceed. For more about that see the next paragraph; to skip right to why I gave it 5 stars, go to paragraph three.
I skipped the authors note because it indicated there may be spoilers (and I despise spoilers as much as I despise cliffhangers.) That was OK, for me. I did go back and read it when I was about 25% of the way through the book. And Leslie does an excellent job with it. I’ll reiterate what she says: if any part of reading about strong suicidal ideation, plans or attempts is not going to be safe or healthy for you, do not read this book. Those things are not problematic for me, and yet I was still shook. This is the heaviest romance book I’ve read. I needed almost 4 whole days after I finished before I could open another book. It’s EXCELLENT, and it’s a lot.
In some ways, you know you’re getting deep from the jump. In other ways, this books opens with a Vegas meet cute and a porn star awards ceremony, which are both super fun. Kurt and Johnny’s story is not super fun, though. It is gut wrenching and gorgeous. While reading Johnny’s character is HARD. And walking with him through his depression treatment is HARD, watching a Kurt care for him is just as amazing.
These two have a lot going on in their heads, but their connection does not seem fake or shallow or like their romance is secondary to the mental health journey in the story. Johnnys aw-shucks cowboy persona is adorable, and you can feel how sexy he is through Kurt’s eyes. Kurt may be misguided professionally and a little idealistic, but his arc is as encouraging as Johnny’s is sad.
I asked for this ARC based on the cowboy porn star meets politician in Vegas storyline, but I stayed for how deeply authentic the entire thing is. This is a story of care and romance and finding yourself while sticking by another person who becomes your person.
New author: No
Rep: Gay, bi; mental health (ptss, suicidal ideation, depression)
Keywords: politician, porn star, city boy/country boy, childhood trauma, therapy, inpatient care, past fake dating, Vegas, woke up married, LOTS of content notes (sexual assault, suicide, etc.)
This book was phenomenal. And still, before you consider this book, read the authors note. Seriously, read it. Then set the book aside and be really sure you’re ready to proceed. For more about that see the next paragraph; to skip right to why I gave it 5 stars, go to paragraph three.
I skipped the authors note because it indicated there may be spoilers (and I despise spoilers as much as I despise cliffhangers.) That was OK, for me. I did go back and read it when I was about 25% of the way through the book. And Leslie does an excellent job with it. I’ll reiterate what she says: if any part of reading about strong suicidal ideation, plans or attempts is not going to be safe or healthy for you, do not read this book. Those things are not problematic for me, and yet I was still shook. This is the heaviest romance book I’ve read. I needed almost 4 whole days after I finished before I could open another book. It’s EXCELLENT, and it’s a lot.
In some ways, you know you’re getting deep from the jump. In other ways, this books opens with a Vegas meet cute and a porn star awards ceremony, which are both super fun. Kurt and Johnny’s story is not super fun, though. It is gut wrenching and gorgeous. While reading Johnny’s character is HARD. And walking with him through his depression treatment is HARD, watching a Kurt care for him is just as amazing.
These two have a lot going on in their heads, but their connection does not seem fake or shallow or like their romance is secondary to the mental health journey in the story. Johnnys aw-shucks cowboy persona is adorable, and you can feel how sexy he is through Kurt’s eyes. Kurt may be misguided professionally and a little idealistic, but his arc is as encouraging as Johnny’s is sad.
I asked for this ARC based on the cowboy porn star meets politician in Vegas storyline, but I stayed for how deeply authentic the entire thing is. This is a story of care and romance and finding yourself while sticking by another person who becomes your person.
dnf
June 25, 2024This story. started out very seriously. One of the MC's is planning to kill himself after one night of fun. I found myself arguing as to how the non-suicidal MC was handling things when he found out. This author had a forward stating that she had been in this kind of situation and she was writing this book to inform others.
Well, who am I to disagree with an author who has been through this predicament. And since actual suicide is not my thing (I don't know how this book played out) I decided it would be best to put it down.
Well, who am I to disagree with an author who has been through this predicament. And since actual suicide is not my thing (I don't know how this book played out) I decided it would be best to put it down.
June 13, 2024
A Joyfully Jay review.
4.75 stars
Notorious is a spin off from Leslie McAdam’s IOU series, featuring two side characters connecting. It’s fine to read as a standalone, but I think those people who’ve also read Ambiguous will especially like this book. Please note the author’s strenuous and detailed trigger warnings about a main character’s disordered thinking, depression, and suicidal ideation with intent to self-harm.
This is a thoughtful read, with lots of love and strong characters you want to see succeed. As mentioned, the ending is super happy. In terms of Johnny’s justice, well, it seems like there’s a set-up for another book about a risk-taking attorney and the wealthy vigilante he loves.
Read Veronica’s review in its entirety here.
4.75 stars
Notorious is a spin off from Leslie McAdam’s IOU series, featuring two side characters connecting. It’s fine to read as a standalone, but I think those people who’ve also read Ambiguous will especially like this book. Please note the author’s strenuous and detailed trigger warnings about a main character’s disordered thinking, depression, and suicidal ideation with intent to self-harm.
This is a thoughtful read, with lots of love and strong characters you want to see succeed. As mentioned, the ending is super happy. In terms of Johnny’s justice, well, it seems like there’s a set-up for another book about a risk-taking attorney and the wealthy vigilante he loves.
Read Veronica’s review in its entirety here.
September 3, 2024
4.5 stars
This book was absolutely beautiful and I'm so glad I had the opportunity to read it.
we already know the two MCs because they appeared in the previous books: Kurt was Sam Stone's fake boyfriend for years and Johnny hired the lawyer at Weston&Ramirez to help him with a SA lawsuit.
I have to be honest, I didn't like Kurt very much in Ambiguous, he didn't respect Sam's wishes to be with Julian and he tried to convince him to keep up with their fake relationship. But this books made me completely change my mind about him: he's passionate, loyal, dedicated, he's a caring and attentive man, he's ready to face everything and he's also ready to lose his dream of a polittical career in orded to help Johnny and keeping him safe.
And Johnny, oh boy, he's so precious, I adored him. He was the kind of character you want to hug tight and chase all his demons away. My heart broke for him every time he had those terrible thoughts in his head and the description of the assault was not easy to read.
The author did a fantastic job representing Johnny's struggles, depression, suicidal thoughts, angry, sadness and also hope and love.
I loved every second of this story and it was an unexpected fast read: the story progressed steady, without changing its rhytm, it to keep reading until the end.
What prevented me from giving 5 full stars:
I didn't like Rowan's help (I'm not saying more to not leave spoilers), I hope I will understand him better in the next book.
I loved to see the MCs of the previous books again, especially Julian.
The side characters, Kurt's parents and Johnny's mom and sister were very supportive and I loved that the MCs had their approval after their out of the blue wedding.
Very recommended (but check the trigger warnings first).
I received an ARC of this book from Gay Romance Reviews and this is my honest review.
This book was absolutely beautiful and I'm so glad I had the opportunity to read it.
we already know the two MCs because they appeared in the previous books: Kurt was Sam Stone's fake boyfriend for years and Johnny hired the lawyer at Weston&Ramirez to help him with a SA lawsuit.
I have to be honest, I didn't like Kurt very much in Ambiguous, he didn't respect Sam's wishes to be with Julian and he tried to convince him to keep up with their fake relationship. But this books made me completely change my mind about him: he's passionate, loyal, dedicated, he's a caring and attentive man, he's ready to face everything and he's also ready to lose his dream of a polittical career in orded to help Johnny and keeping him safe.
And Johnny, oh boy, he's so precious, I adored him. He was the kind of character you want to hug tight and chase all his demons away. My heart broke for him every time he had those terrible thoughts in his head and the description of the assault was not easy to read.
The author did a fantastic job representing Johnny's struggles, depression, suicidal thoughts, angry, sadness and also hope and love.
I loved every second of this story and it was an unexpected fast read: the story progressed steady, without changing its rhytm, it to keep reading until the end.
What prevented me from giving 5 full stars:
I didn't like Rowan's help (I'm not saying more to not leave spoilers), I hope I will understand him better in the next book.
I loved to see the MCs of the previous books again, especially Julian.
The side characters, Kurt's parents and Johnny's mom and sister were very supportive and I loved that the MCs had their approval after their out of the blue wedding.
Very recommended (but check the trigger warnings first).
I received an ARC of this book from Gay Romance Reviews and this is my honest review.
June 10, 2024
Notorious is a book that hits hard. It's not a simple "OMG we got drunk and married in Vegas", it's a huge experience of partnership and surviving trauma.
(Review may contain spoliers)
Before digging into this book, I highly advise you to read the TW and the author's reasons for writing this novel.
Johnny aka Velvet the Cowboy is a porn actor and he has a lot going on in his life. He made his plans to resove all his issues, but then he meets Kurt, and everything in his life was turned upside down. Even in their first intoxicated encounter, the attraction is huge, and what was a stupid alcohol induced decision, turned out to be a life-saving experience.
Kurt is the absolute best caretaker ever. His political career is at the brink of failing, but he is willing to put everything aside to help his husband. He cares too much, he wants to avoid the trauma he had in high school and I'm just happy he is there for Johnny, because he made the difference.
This book is so damn real, I had so many tears in my eyes, not only from sadness, but also because of all the happy moments the MC's shared. Kurt is an angel, he is there 100%, even in the darkest moments of Johnny, he never gave up.
Sometimes, the book is not easy to read. The pain you feel is heartbreaking, but then you can breathe again, becuse there is always light after the darkness. I loved how deep Kurt and Johnny's relationship became. What started as a drunken inconvenience, soon turned into omething so special, making this book one of the best I've read this year.
(Review may contain spoliers)
Before digging into this book, I highly advise you to read the TW and the author's reasons for writing this novel.
Johnny aka Velvet the Cowboy is a porn actor and he has a lot going on in his life. He made his plans to resove all his issues, but then he meets Kurt, and everything in his life was turned upside down. Even in their first intoxicated encounter, the attraction is huge, and what was a stupid alcohol induced decision, turned out to be a life-saving experience.
Kurt is the absolute best caretaker ever. His political career is at the brink of failing, but he is willing to put everything aside to help his husband. He cares too much, he wants to avoid the trauma he had in high school and I'm just happy he is there for Johnny, because he made the difference.
This book is so damn real, I had so many tears in my eyes, not only from sadness, but also because of all the happy moments the MC's shared. Kurt is an angel, he is there 100%, even in the darkest moments of Johnny, he never gave up.
Sometimes, the book is not easy to read. The pain you feel is heartbreaking, but then you can breathe again, becuse there is always light after the darkness. I loved how deep Kurt and Johnny's relationship became. What started as a drunken inconvenience, soon turned into omething so special, making this book one of the best I've read this year.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 29, 2024
2.5 stars. This was A LOT. A lot of trauma, a lot of drama, and a lot of emotions. For me it was too much of all the “a lot” - while I read the trigger warnings (thank goodness) I still don’t feel like it prepared me for how graphic and how emotional the traumas and issues Johnny (cowboy MC) went through. While I think the author handling these issues well and with kindness, it got to the point of being too much and then all of sudden things seemed significantly better for Johnny - even though the author showed the mental health process and work at getting better, it still felt a bit sudden at how better he was by the end of the book.
Maybe this book was attempting to just do too much at once, I don’t think all the political aspirations and background stories were necessary. And the use of the made up “momther” was so annoying to me.
This just wasn’t for me.
Maybe this book was attempting to just do too much at once, I don’t think all the political aspirations and background stories were necessary. And the use of the made up “momther” was so annoying to me.
This just wasn’t for me.
June 8, 2024
If you read to spend time and have fun, this book isn't for you because it deals with a lot of heavy stuff. This book has become a reminder that life is not all sunshine and roses, and some people fight their inner demons every single day.
Johnny was suicidal; in fact, he had already planned it. His mama was sick and needed a heart transplant, but her insurance refused it, and the only thing on Johnny's mind was that his life insurance would cover his mama's heart transplant. But on that fateful night, he met Kurt at the bar. Kurt was a huge fan and had a crush on Johnny. They spend the night drinking and talking. They were both drunk, so when Kurt, out of the blue, said they could get married, Johnny agreed to it. Both were so hungover, so they didn't have much recollection of what happened the night before. In the morning, Kurt saw so many sleeping pills belonging to Johnny. Kurt won't miss any signals ever again and will follow his gut. So he asked Johnny if he had suicidal thoughts, and Johnny said yes, and it became a mission of Kurt to help Johnny because he didn't have a chance to help his high school boyfriend, Andrei, when he committed suicide seventeen years ago. It was like making amends for Kurt's past mistake regarding his boyfriend's suicide.
Johnny's mind was a jumbled mess. Problem after problem was at his door, and he felt he couldn't escape, and the only way to end it was to commit suicide. I don't blame Johnny if he wants to end his own life after what happened to him, as he called it "the incident."
Johnny was a true top. He bottomed one time, and it didn't feel good, so being a bottom wasn't his calling. But one time, when he was on set, he was drugged by a pornographic director and gang raped, and they filmed it, and he couldn't do anything about it since he was drugged. Johnny wasn't the same man again after that incident. It happened long before he met Kurt, but it left a scar on him. Thankfully, Kurt was always by his side, being whatever Johnny needed him to be.
Mental health is no joke. Johnny was lucky to have a solid support system like Kurt, his mama, his sister, and his new family, which was Kurt's parents, who were very supportive of them. It took a strong person to admit that they were having problems, and it took even a strong-willed person to help them get the help they needed.
The following book will be about Charlie, Cam's brother, and Rowan St. Thomas, who was such a mystery and a puzzle to solve. As it turned out, Rowan was a very wealthy man from a very wealthy family. Charlie was the tall one, while Rowan was the tiny one with pink hair and tattoos everywhere. Rowan was the one Kurt asked for help with regarding matters with that pornographic director, who was the mastermind of Johnny's incident. So Kurt, Rowan, and Rowan's bodyguards, underlings, or whatever their occupations were, were paying the director a visit. In the end, the director was shot to death when he tried to attack Rowan. Kurt was shocked, but Rowan was so chill about it, like it was usual for him. It made me curious about who Rowan really was. With the "Baby Boy" tattoo on the back of his neck, I wonder if he and Charlie's relationship was based on Daddy/Boy dynamics. I can't wait!
Johnny was suicidal; in fact, he had already planned it. His mama was sick and needed a heart transplant, but her insurance refused it, and the only thing on Johnny's mind was that his life insurance would cover his mama's heart transplant. But on that fateful night, he met Kurt at the bar. Kurt was a huge fan and had a crush on Johnny. They spend the night drinking and talking. They were both drunk, so when Kurt, out of the blue, said they could get married, Johnny agreed to it. Both were so hungover, so they didn't have much recollection of what happened the night before. In the morning, Kurt saw so many sleeping pills belonging to Johnny. Kurt won't miss any signals ever again and will follow his gut. So he asked Johnny if he had suicidal thoughts, and Johnny said yes, and it became a mission of Kurt to help Johnny because he didn't have a chance to help his high school boyfriend, Andrei, when he committed suicide seventeen years ago. It was like making amends for Kurt's past mistake regarding his boyfriend's suicide.
Johnny's mind was a jumbled mess. Problem after problem was at his door, and he felt he couldn't escape, and the only way to end it was to commit suicide. I don't blame Johnny if he wants to end his own life after what happened to him, as he called it "the incident."
Johnny was a true top. He bottomed one time, and it didn't feel good, so being a bottom wasn't his calling. But one time, when he was on set, he was drugged by a pornographic director and gang raped, and they filmed it, and he couldn't do anything about it since he was drugged. Johnny wasn't the same man again after that incident. It happened long before he met Kurt, but it left a scar on him. Thankfully, Kurt was always by his side, being whatever Johnny needed him to be.
Mental health is no joke. Johnny was lucky to have a solid support system like Kurt, his mama, his sister, and his new family, which was Kurt's parents, who were very supportive of them. It took a strong person to admit that they were having problems, and it took even a strong-willed person to help them get the help they needed.
The following book will be about Charlie, Cam's brother, and Rowan St. Thomas, who was such a mystery and a puzzle to solve. As it turned out, Rowan was a very wealthy man from a very wealthy family. Charlie was the tall one, while Rowan was the tiny one with pink hair and tattoos everywhere. Rowan was the one Kurt asked for help with regarding matters with that pornographic director, who was the mastermind of Johnny's incident. So Kurt, Rowan, and Rowan's bodyguards, underlings, or whatever their occupations were, were paying the director a visit. In the end, the director was shot to death when he tried to attack Rowan. Kurt was shocked, but Rowan was so chill about it, like it was usual for him. It made me curious about who Rowan really was. With the "Baby Boy" tattoo on the back of his neck, I wonder if he and Charlie's relationship was based on Daddy/Boy dynamics. I can't wait!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 9, 2024
Whew, this book was a ride.
Right off the top, this book deals with some heavy topics. The main characters are very sweet with each other, but Johnny is dealing with some very serious trauma and mental health issues. This book is angstier than the other books in the series. Keep that in mind before you go into it, and make sure you're in a good space to read it. CWs (up top for this one in case you don't even want to read the review) for suicidal thoughts, severe depression, inpatient treatment, drugging, violent sexual assault, violence, sex work
That said, I loved almost everything about this story. You could tell that the author took great care with Johnny, who we've heard of in the background of the other books as his lawsuit progresses. A very famous adult entertainer, he's in a very low place in life, and has decided that taking his own life is the only way to solve his problems. On the night he is planning to go through with it, he goes to a bar to get drunk. And meets Kurt (who we did briefly meet in book 1), who is drowning his sorrows at the difficulty of getting a senatorial campaign off the ground against an incumbent. They start drinking, and talking. And drinking. And dancing. And drinking. And oh, did I mention they're in Vegas? So they wake up married.
They decide to stay married to a) help Kurt's campaign by making him seem less flighty with a quickie marriage/divorce and b) to make sure Johnny has the insurance and support to get the treatment he needs, even if he doesn't want to take it.
I really loved this book and the way it handled Johnny's journey, showing the struggles and that depression doesn't magically get fixed, and suicidal thoughts don't just magically disappear after a few sessions and some medication. It was heartbreaking to read, but it was really well done. And Kurt was an amazingly supportive partner, wanting to do whatever he needs to to make sure Johnny is okay. Watching them fall in love on the page was very satisfying, and I enjoyed it.
There was like one bit of the book towards the end that kind of didn't fit with the rest of the story and I think would have been better without it, but overall this book was very good. Take care when you read it, but the journey is definitely worth it.
Right off the top, this book deals with some heavy topics. The main characters are very sweet with each other, but Johnny is dealing with some very serious trauma and mental health issues. This book is angstier than the other books in the series. Keep that in mind before you go into it, and make sure you're in a good space to read it. CWs (up top for this one in case you don't even want to read the review) for suicidal thoughts, severe depression, inpatient treatment, drugging, violent sexual assault, violence, sex work
That said, I loved almost everything about this story. You could tell that the author took great care with Johnny, who we've heard of in the background of the other books as his lawsuit progresses. A very famous adult entertainer, he's in a very low place in life, and has decided that taking his own life is the only way to solve his problems. On the night he is planning to go through with it, he goes to a bar to get drunk. And meets Kurt (who we did briefly meet in book 1), who is drowning his sorrows at the difficulty of getting a senatorial campaign off the ground against an incumbent. They start drinking, and talking. And drinking. And dancing. And drinking. And oh, did I mention they're in Vegas? So they wake up married.
They decide to stay married to a) help Kurt's campaign by making him seem less flighty with a quickie marriage/divorce and b) to make sure Johnny has the insurance and support to get the treatment he needs, even if he doesn't want to take it.
I really loved this book and the way it handled Johnny's journey, showing the struggles and that depression doesn't magically get fixed, and suicidal thoughts don't just magically disappear after a few sessions and some medication. It was heartbreaking to read, but it was really well done. And Kurt was an amazingly supportive partner, wanting to do whatever he needs to to make sure Johnny is okay. Watching them fall in love on the page was very satisfying, and I enjoyed it.
There was like one bit of the book towards the end that kind of didn't fit with the rest of the story and I think would have been better without it, but overall this book was very good. Take care when you read it, but the journey is definitely worth it.
October 6, 2025
2.5 stars, rounded down.
There are a few reasons why I'm rating this as low as I am.
The first one is the southern speak.
We southerners do not talk the way Johnny did in this book.
Even if we said some of the silly words he used, which we don't, we do know the correct usage for Y'ALL, and never would've used it the way Johnny did.
His sister's name was May Ella. Can we get more stereotypical?
I swear there were times I was ready to throw my Kindle.
Another reason is because of how long it was, and how long certain things went on. While I totally appreciate the author writing about severe mental health issues, including suicide ideation, I believe a lot of that could've been cut down quite a bit. I'm not - in ANY way - making light of the subject matter. I just thought it dragged on in more than a few places.
I totally respect the author for using her own struggles to write Johnny's story. No doubt it was very difficult to write. What I say above in no way makes light of that.
This, unlike the others in the series, is not a light read. There's very little 'happy' in Notorious.
Also, if you go to read it, please take note of all the trigger warnings. If in doubt, I suggest moving on to another book. This is very graphic with regard to certain things.
Full review can be found at -
There are a few reasons why I'm rating this as low as I am.
The first one is the southern speak.
We southerners do not talk the way Johnny did in this book.
Even if we said some of the silly words he used, which we don't, we do know the correct usage for Y'ALL, and never would've used it the way Johnny did.
His sister's name was May Ella. Can we get more stereotypical?
I swear there were times I was ready to throw my Kindle.
Another reason is because of how long it was, and how long certain things went on. While I totally appreciate the author writing about severe mental health issues, including suicide ideation, I believe a lot of that could've been cut down quite a bit. I'm not - in ANY way - making light of the subject matter. I just thought it dragged on in more than a few places.
I totally respect the author for using her own struggles to write Johnny's story. No doubt it was very difficult to write. What I say above in no way makes light of that.
This, unlike the others in the series, is not a light read. There's very little 'happy' in Notorious.
Also, if you go to read it, please take note of all the trigger warnings. If in doubt, I suggest moving on to another book. This is very graphic with regard to certain things.
Full review can be found at -
June 3, 2024
- ex-porn star
- mental health rep
- waking up married
First thing, heed the content warnings and the author's note at the start of this book, as there are some very sensitive and dark themes in this book. Even though this is part of a series, I read it as a standalone and thoroughly enjoyed it. I get there were cameos from other couples (and I really, really want to know more about Rowan in particular!) but I loved it as a standalone.
If there's such a thing as fate (and I'd like to believe there is), then Kurt truly was fated to meet Johnny that night in his darkest hour. These two had such an instant bond and Kurt truly is a good soul, only wanting to help Johnny even when it probably wasn't the easiest thing he could have done. These two together, though were just meant to be. They fitted together so well, right from the start. Their journey is not easy, at all. While the story is about their relationship, there's a focus on Johnny's mental health journey too and it's so raw and emotional at times, it is hard to read. BUT there's always light at the end of the tunnel, you just have to see it, and Kurt helps Johnny with that.
This is a thought provoking read, dealing not only with mental health issues, but also with the adult film industry and how its' workers are treated. There's a lot to digest here but the core is Kurt and Johnny and that is hot, sweet, and ultimately warm and romantic too. Everything you could want, really.
I received an ARC and this is my honest review.
- mental health rep
- waking up married
First thing, heed the content warnings and the author's note at the start of this book, as there are some very sensitive and dark themes in this book. Even though this is part of a series, I read it as a standalone and thoroughly enjoyed it. I get there were cameos from other couples (and I really, really want to know more about Rowan in particular!) but I loved it as a standalone.
If there's such a thing as fate (and I'd like to believe there is), then Kurt truly was fated to meet Johnny that night in his darkest hour. These two had such an instant bond and Kurt truly is a good soul, only wanting to help Johnny even when it probably wasn't the easiest thing he could have done. These two together, though were just meant to be. They fitted together so well, right from the start. Their journey is not easy, at all. While the story is about their relationship, there's a focus on Johnny's mental health journey too and it's so raw and emotional at times, it is hard to read. BUT there's always light at the end of the tunnel, you just have to see it, and Kurt helps Johnny with that.
This is a thought provoking read, dealing not only with mental health issues, but also with the adult film industry and how its' workers are treated. There's a lot to digest here but the core is Kurt and Johnny and that is hot, sweet, and ultimately warm and romantic too. Everything you could want, really.
I received an ARC and this is my honest review.
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