Victims No Longer: The Classic Guide for Men Recovering from Sexual Child Abuse

by Mike Lew

VICTIMS NO LONGER was the first book written specifically for non-offending adult male survivors of incest and other  sexual child abuse, rape, physical violence, emotional abuse, abandonment and neglect.   It offers hope and encouragement to these  courageous men and those who love them - partners, family, and friends - as they heal from their traumas of boyhood, adolescence, and manhood. This book has remained in print for over 25 years. Updated, revised, and translated, its messages resonate with survivors and allies across cultural, linguistic, racial, religious and geographical boundaries. The ebook version will provide an additional resource to survivors, therapists, counselors, and allies throughout the world. VICTIMS NO LONGER is a gentle guide, a resource for healing, learning, and thriving, helping survivors to: break through isolation, shame, fear, and grief; achieve understanding of the long-term effects of sexual abuse; and take power over their lives, relationships, work, emotions, and sexuality. It enables the reader to begin working through issues of trust, intimacy, sexual confusion, loss, power, control, and connection - making life choices that aren’t determined by the abuse. Topics include masculinity, emotions, sexuality, homophobia, shame, guilt, survival strategies, perfectionism, individual and group therapy, confrontation, forgiveness, and moving on. Universal, yet deeply personal, VICTIMS  NO LONGER offers a sense of belonging, understanding, andliberation for men at all stages of recovery. This classic work has been called “life-saving,” “compassionate,” “comprehensive,” “clear,” “moving,” “a beacon of hope,” “definitive,” “warm,” “a salvation,” “comforting,” “challenging,” “required reading,” and “loving.”  VICTIMS NO LONGER continues to speak clearly and powerfully to the pain, fears, needs, hopes, and dreams of male survivors and the people who care about them as they navigate their odyssey of recovery. www.victimsnolonger.org

Genres: Psychology, Nonfiction, Abuse, Self Help, Mental Health, Sexuality, Research

539 pages, Kindle Edition

First published November 1, 1988

Reviews

[Terri · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a must read book for men who were sexually abused. Loved ones and friends will benefit from reading it, also. The vignettes are not too numerous, and they are eloquent and contain enough details to illustrate the horror of what was experienced without gratuitous, lengthy descriptions of the abuse. Some of the stories do not address the abuse directly, but instead encourage the reader to work on their issues, and to have hope that they will get through the recovery process. I really cannot praise this book enough. I encourage you to look it up on Amazon and read the reviews. If you know a man who was abused, buy two copies right now...give one to him, and read the other one yourself.

[Marisa Bennett · Rating 5 out of 5]

It is heartbreaking to know that so many sexual abuse victims are male, and that so few are willing to step forward for healing. This book was at the forefront of the field, and is still on of the best out there! I highly recommend you get this book if you are a male suffering to deal with the issues of sexual abuse, or are a woman trying to understand your partner/friend's behavior. Encourage THERAPY!!!

[John · Rating 5 out of 5]

Victims No Longer: The Classic Guide for Men Recovering from Sexual Child Abuse by Mike Lew. For men recovering from being abused or sexually molested as children, I recommend this book. I bought this book in the first edition and read it several times. The first edition helped me so much, I'm buying the second edition and reading it again and getting much more out of it now that I am more stable and healthy. Both of the editions (first and second) helped me to be a much happier person, leaving the traumas of my youth behind me so I can live in the present and future, both of which are much better because I had this book to help me. I would suggest getting a therapist to answer any questions that may arise while you are reading this book.

[carl · Rating 4 out of 5]

A nice addition to "The Courage to Heal" book which was primarily aimed at women.

[Paul Norris · Rating 5 out of 5]

If this book is relevant to you or anyone close to you, I'd call it a must read.

[Richard Ferguson · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must read for Male survivors

An in depth, balanced presentation of the challenges male survivors face and a blueprint of how to move forward and heal. I have read this book multiple times with new insights each time. Sometimes hard to read it covers many difficult subjects that a survivor needs to face. Highly recommended for those just starting the journey and those that think they have arrived.

[John · Rating 5 out of 5]

Important reading for those who had any inappropriate things happen to them as a child. This book is really helpful as a man particularly, as it can feel especially hard to open up about the sexually traumatic things that happen to us. This book gives you a language, vocabulary, and a container to explore your innermost pains in a therapeutic way.

[PJ · Rating 5 out of 5]

I doubted whether to publicly rate this, if you came here looking for answers to the doubts and fears that have arisen in your journey, this book is an amazing work of wisdom that is extending a hand to you. There are answers on the other side. Good luck.

[Flower]

Interesting book that opened my eyes to a silent crime in this country. A crime that is not talked about but effects way more people than I could have ever imagined.

[Kenn Chaplin · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm still reading this, coming back to it again and again - a priceless resource!

[Beth · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am a Licensed Mental Health Counselor working with trauma clients and abuse. I will read reviews of books, read the books myself and give those books as homework for my clients and get their reviews to give to other clients having the same issues. The following is a review by one of my clients that was very helpful.

"This book does a great job of going in depth on various topics regarding childhood sexual abuse. It is beneficial for anyone that has directly experienced CSA, knows someone that has been affected by CSA or if you’re not sure what happened to you, this book will surely have something beneficial to offer you. This is not a book that can be read in one sitting. I would encourage anyone reading it to take their time, as it is a heavy topic with plenty of survivor testimony that can be triggering. The author does a wonderful job of addressing this subject in a way that helped me feel safe and understood. In fact, a large amount of the book is about making sense of CSA and giving you hands on tasks that you can apply on your own road to recovery. This book has helped me progress on my road to recovery and it will most likely help you too. "

[Fiona Ayerst · Rating 3 out of 5]

I used this book as reference material for a book I am writing. It was interesting to read about abuse from the perspective of the abused person. However, I found there wasn't enough said about the character and after-effects, so it didn't suit my research. Fair enough, really, as it wasn't written for novelists- but rather as a guide to people who have been abused and are recovering.

[Jason Roske · Rating 5 out of 5]

I urge anyone who was a victim to read this book.

[Kashif Nasir · Rating 5 out of 5]

literally saved my life

[Benoit Lelièvre · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's like firing up a torch after living in complete darkness for many years. A difficult read emotionally, but also very enlightening and educational.

[Daniel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lew presents a framework to understand the experience of male survivors of abuse as well as a path for recovery. Recommended for both those seeking recovery and those seeking to guide.

[Tom]

A very powerful book