I sat staring at the monitor in horror. I was in work early to check my emails before my traitorous snake of a secretary, Colleen had a chance to incriminate me further. My conscience had woken me ahead of my phone alarm, despite my having spent the rest of the previous evening working myself into a stew of self-righteous bullshit. I finally went to bed late and slightly drunk, convinced that I was the injured party.
I had adopted this early arrival ploy since that first disastrous billet d’amour and so far I had intercepted two more declarations of Katya’s undying love and deleted them both unopened in the hope that she would take the hint. This latest communication, however, shifted the goalposts completely.
The cause of my alarm was posted on the screen in front of me. It read:
My Dearest Tony,
You are perhaps not wishing to answer my emails, but situation is most serious as well as wonderful! My doctor is telling me that I am expecting a baby from you. It is most urgent you must talk to me because there is very much we must be thinking of.
All my love,
Katya
And so begins an absolute scorching roller coaster of read! I couldn't put it down, gripping, funny, shocking and remorseless in equal measure. If you haven't read it yet, you need to!