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What Do I Say When . . . ?: A Parent's Guide to Navigating Cultural Chaos for Children and Teens
Answers to Tough Cultural Questions Presented to Christian Parents
Navigating the world for the first time can be challenging, especially when popular cultural beliefs contradict the teachings of Scripture. So when inevitable questions arise, parents must be equipped with sound biblical answers to guide their children through the complexities of modern life—because if we fail to catechize our children, the world will surely step in to do it for us.
Written by husband and wife duo Andrew and Christian Walker, this accessible and trusted guide helps busy parents quickly and effectively respond to their children’s questions on a wide range of topics, including abortion, sexuality, transgenderism, technology, political engagement, and more. Each chapter contains age-appropriate prompts for parents of children at different stages of development and maturity. Parents can refer to each chapter as specific questions arise, study hot-button topics for future reference, or access a range of conversation starters to proactively cultivate biblical truth within their child’s heart.
Written for Busy Empathetic in tone, this book helps parents quickly access answers to the most important topics confronting our youth today Helpful Each chapter features a biblical overview, basic truths every parent should know, conversation starters, memory verses, and recommended resources Addresses important cultural topics, including human dignity, abortion, sexuality, transgenderism, technology, political engagement, and more
Navigating the world for the first time can be challenging, especially when popular cultural beliefs contradict the teachings of Scripture. So when inevitable questions arise, parents must be equipped with sound biblical answers to guide their children through the complexities of modern life—because if we fail to catechize our children, the world will surely step in to do it for us.
Written by husband and wife duo Andrew and Christian Walker, this accessible and trusted guide helps busy parents quickly and effectively respond to their children’s questions on a wide range of topics, including abortion, sexuality, transgenderism, technology, political engagement, and more. Each chapter contains age-appropriate prompts for parents of children at different stages of development and maturity. Parents can refer to each chapter as specific questions arise, study hot-button topics for future reference, or access a range of conversation starters to proactively cultivate biblical truth within their child’s heart.
Written for Busy Empathetic in tone, this book helps parents quickly access answers to the most important topics confronting our youth today Helpful Each chapter features a biblical overview, basic truths every parent should know, conversation starters, memory verses, and recommended resources Addresses important cultural topics, including human dignity, abortion, sexuality, transgenderism, technology, political engagement, and more
176 pages, Paperback
Published August 13, 2024
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October 11, 2024
“We are called to witness to the truth for the sake of truth itself, not because it will be met with total gladness or joy by all, but because the proclamation of the gospel is the means by which the Lord redeems those he’s called to salvation.”
“You must catechize and disciple your children at ever-younger ages intentionally, or else the culture will do so unintentionally and with greater effectiveness. If you don’t teach your children, the world will.”
I read this book in tandem with Parenting without Panic in an LGBT-Affirming World by Rachel Gilson. Apparently both Crossway Publishing and The Good Book Company had similar plans to release a short parenting guide on some of the cultural issues of the day and how to relate them at age-appropriate levels.
I decided to read them back-to-back and compare them.
In brief, I would say that I liked Parenting without Panic better, however it was written for parents with kids 11 and under— which is me— and I felt like she did a better job providing more specific illustrations and ways of communicating.
To parse it out more, the books do kind of have different targets.
Gilson’s book is targeted for younger kids and is focused on LGBT questions and thoughts on identity.
What Do I Say When addresses a broader range of topics and provides talking points for three different age groups. They don’t list out the ages, calling them ‘floors’ instead, so the parent can decide what group of points and questions would fit their child’s level of understanding. Some of the other topics in What Do I Say When include politics, human dignity, abortion, technology, and persecution, as well as chapters pertaining to transgender, sexuality, and identity categories.
Regardless of which book (or both) you decide to read, all three authors were quick to remind us that as parents, these books, though helpful, are not enough. We need to do the due diligence of familiarizing ourselves with the issues, the arguments, the defenses, and what the Bible says about them.
It’s not a question of whether our kids will learn this stuff, it’s a matter of WHO will be teaching them. Will it be us? Or will we allow their schools, their friends, or their entertainment choices tell them what is right or wrong, true or false.
It’s not enough to send our kids to Sunday school and hope they are getting enough truth to combat the lies of the enemy. As parents we are raising these kids and teaching them every day what it means to follow Jesus and obey his word and trust his design for how we live our lives.
If that overwhelms you, take heart, because that’s why these authors have written their books! These are a great starting point for any parent. Beyond that, both books provide further resources and other books that delve into each topic more deeply. Especially this one.
To read more of my thoughts on Parenting without Panic, click HERE for my full review.
Now I will focus more on What Do I Say When…? specifically.
Just as Rachel Gilson has her own qualifications for authoring her book, Andrew and Christian both do as well.
Andrew writes, teaches, and speaks on cultural issues regularly and Christian writes children curriculum and understands how to apply concepts in developmentally and age-appropriate ways.
The format for the chapters of their book is an introduction on each of the ten topics, then an explanation on what God says about it, followed by a parental guide divided into three ‘floors’ for different understanding levels (4-8; 8-12; 12-16), and concluded with a list of further reading resources.
They encourage parents to use it as a family devotional resource. To discuss a chapter around the dinner table and learn the applicable (provided) memory verse that ties it all together. But it has versatility in its function.
For the most part I liked the set-up and I definitely like the memory verse component (though I might replace a verse or two with a different one), but I’m not sure I liked the bullet-point-only reference. I understand that makes it more accessible, but with a title like ‘What Do I Say When…?’ I was hoping for a more question/answer type formatting with example questions of what kids like to ask and how you respond.
Instead they provide conversation starters— questions WE ask THEM. Most of them were answered within the teaching part of the chapter, but some of the questions I wish they would have given point-blank answers to reference.
I like their reminder from the beginning that we cannot save our children but “We should pray over our children, eagerly teach them his truth, and trust that God will be faithful to finish the good work that he has started.” (Phil. 1:6)
This is one of many resources that will help equip us to that end. We should take this responsibility seriously but not be burdened by the results. It’s easier said than done, but our children will recognize whether we are teaching them with calm, confidence, and trust or with fear, frustration, or anger.
There is definitely a good flow to this book as it starts with a chapter on human dignity that is followed by abortion. The chapter on sexuality is followed up by chapters on gender, homosexuality, identity, and transgenderism. Then we have technology and political engagement— how do we handle our beliefs and behave in public (or private) spaces.
The last chapter is on hostility and persecution, which I thought was a good chapter to have.
“There is now a social cost to being a Christian.”
Even at young ages our kids are noticing more and more that our family rules differ than other peoples’. Our friends do things we don’t. We might get teased or mocked for our beliefs or rules. Peer pressure is very real and it is good to prepare our kids and equip them for that reality. If they are not surprised by the hostility, and understand where that comes from, they will be better able to let it roll off their back than internalize it and wonder if their beliefs are the wrong ones.
The Walkers admit that they couldn’t include all the topics in the book without it becoming way too long. One topic that isn’t included that I think would be really important to ground all of these truths is to study with and teach your child about why we can believe that the Bible is true.
If we don’t know why we can trust the Word of God, we will be easily be swayed by arguments of the culture. I don’t know how many people have told me that the Bible is written by men for men and is full of sexism; that it’s written so long ago that we can’t trust how it was put together; that it’s not a true story, it’s just symbolism and a way to show people how to relate to one another.
But I have read a lot about this topic and I have yet to see an argument against the Bible that holds any weight. We don’t have to be afraid of questions, there are answers if we look for them.
And if we teach our kids all of these truths found in the Bible but don’t give them confidence to defend the Bible itself, then it will be easy for others to crumble their foundation. The Bible is true and can be trusted and our children need to know that.
A couple books for that off the top of my head: Surviving Religion 101 by Michael Kruger or Taking God at His Word by Kevin DeYoung
They provide a lot of extra reading options for each chapter and I’ve read/reviewed several of them. I’ll list the ones on my site that they mentioned for your reference as well:
Tearing Us Apart: How Abortion Harms Everything and Solves Nothing by Ryan T. Anderson and Alexandria DeSanctis (on my TBR) — Abortion
Is God Anti-Gay by Sam Allberry— Homosexuality
What Does the Bible Really Teach about Homosexuality? by Kevin DeYoung— Homosexuality
How Should We Then Live? by Francis Schaeffer (on my TBR)— Identity
The Rise and Triumph of the Modern Self by Carl S. Trueman— Identity
What God Has to Say about Our Bodies: How the Gospel is Good News for Our Physical Selves by Sam Allberry— Transgenderism
12 Ways Your Phone Is Changing You by Tony Reinke— Technology
How the Nations Rage by Jonathan Leeman— Political Engagement
Gentle and Lowly by Dane Ortlund— Hostility and Persecution
They also provide a list of resources to help stay on pace with culture changes including Albert Mohler’s ‘The Briefing’ podcast which I’ve listened to and appreciate, and Mama Bear Apologetics which is super helpful when relating cultural things to children specifically.
Recommendation
Especially if you have kids 10 or older, I would recommend this book. I may prefer Gilson’s book for the younger kids, but she doesn’t cover all the topics the Wilsons do.
I’m still working on quelling all of my fear regarding my kids’ faith and future, but I can tell you that I have a lot less fear and a lot more confidence in parenting from reading books like this that remind me that my beliefs are grounded in the love and truth of God who created each of us on purpose with a purpose. I don’t have to wonder if I’m on the wrong side of history because I know I am on the right side of God’s truth.
You can have that confidence too. It just takes some study of God’s Word and there are plenty of teachers who have provided books like these to walk you through it.
Be encouraged and inspired to guide your kids through difficult conversations knowing you are leading them to the ultimate place of love, truth, belonging, and life.
**Received a copy via Crossway in exchange for an honest review**
Book Review Blog | Facebook | Pinterest | StoryGraph
“You must catechize and disciple your children at ever-younger ages intentionally, or else the culture will do so unintentionally and with greater effectiveness. If you don’t teach your children, the world will.”
I read this book in tandem with Parenting without Panic in an LGBT-Affirming World by Rachel Gilson. Apparently both Crossway Publishing and The Good Book Company had similar plans to release a short parenting guide on some of the cultural issues of the day and how to relate them at age-appropriate levels.
I decided to read them back-to-back and compare them.
In brief, I would say that I liked Parenting without Panic better, however it was written for parents with kids 11 and under— which is me— and I felt like she did a better job providing more specific illustrations and ways of communicating.
To parse it out more, the books do kind of have different targets.
Gilson’s book is targeted for younger kids and is focused on LGBT questions and thoughts on identity.
What Do I Say When addresses a broader range of topics and provides talking points for three different age groups. They don’t list out the ages, calling them ‘floors’ instead, so the parent can decide what group of points and questions would fit their child’s level of understanding. Some of the other topics in What Do I Say When include politics, human dignity, abortion, technology, and persecution, as well as chapters pertaining to transgender, sexuality, and identity categories.
Regardless of which book (or both) you decide to read, all three authors were quick to remind us that as parents, these books, though helpful, are not enough. We need to do the due diligence of familiarizing ourselves with the issues, the arguments, the defenses, and what the Bible says about them.
It’s not a question of whether our kids will learn this stuff, it’s a matter of WHO will be teaching them. Will it be us? Or will we allow their schools, their friends, or their entertainment choices tell them what is right or wrong, true or false.
It’s not enough to send our kids to Sunday school and hope they are getting enough truth to combat the lies of the enemy. As parents we are raising these kids and teaching them every day what it means to follow Jesus and obey his word and trust his design for how we live our lives.
If that overwhelms you, take heart, because that’s why these authors have written their books! These are a great starting point for any parent. Beyond that, both books provide further resources and other books that delve into each topic more deeply. Especially this one.
To read more of my thoughts on Parenting without Panic, click HERE for my full review.
Now I will focus more on What Do I Say When…? specifically.
Just as Rachel Gilson has her own qualifications for authoring her book, Andrew and Christian both do as well.
Andrew writes, teaches, and speaks on cultural issues regularly and Christian writes children curriculum and understands how to apply concepts in developmentally and age-appropriate ways.
The format for the chapters of their book is an introduction on each of the ten topics, then an explanation on what God says about it, followed by a parental guide divided into three ‘floors’ for different understanding levels (4-8; 8-12; 12-16), and concluded with a list of further reading resources.
They encourage parents to use it as a family devotional resource. To discuss a chapter around the dinner table and learn the applicable (provided) memory verse that ties it all together. But it has versatility in its function.
For the most part I liked the set-up and I definitely like the memory verse component (though I might replace a verse or two with a different one), but I’m not sure I liked the bullet-point-only reference. I understand that makes it more accessible, but with a title like ‘What Do I Say When…?’ I was hoping for a more question/answer type formatting with example questions of what kids like to ask and how you respond.
Instead they provide conversation starters— questions WE ask THEM. Most of them were answered within the teaching part of the chapter, but some of the questions I wish they would have given point-blank answers to reference.
I like their reminder from the beginning that we cannot save our children but “We should pray over our children, eagerly teach them his truth, and trust that God will be faithful to finish the good work that he has started.” (Phil. 1:6)
This is one of many resources that will help equip us to that end. We should take this responsibility seriously but not be burdened by the results. It’s easier said than done, but our children will recognize whether we are teaching them with calm, confidence, and trust or with fear, frustration, or anger.
There is definitely a good flow to this book as it starts with a chapter on human dignity that is followed by abortion. The chapter on sexuality is followed up by chapters on gender, homosexuality, identity, and transgenderism. Then we have technology and political engagement— how do we handle our beliefs and behave in public (or private) spaces.
The last chapter is on hostility and persecution, which I thought was a good chapter to have.
“There is now a social cost to being a Christian.”
Even at young ages our kids are noticing more and more that our family rules differ than other peoples’. Our friends do things we don’t. We might get teased or mocked for our beliefs or rules. Peer pressure is very real and it is good to prepare our kids and equip them for that reality. If they are not surprised by the hostility, and understand where that comes from, they will be better able to let it roll off their back than internalize it and wonder if their beliefs are the wrong ones.
The Walkers admit that they couldn’t include all the topics in the book without it becoming way too long. One topic that isn’t included that I think would be really important to ground all of these truths is to study with and teach your child about why we can believe that the Bible is true.
If we don’t know why we can trust the Word of God, we will be easily be swayed by arguments of the culture. I don’t know how many people have told me that the Bible is written by men for men and is full of sexism; that it’s written so long ago that we can’t trust how it was put together; that it’s not a true story, it’s just symbolism and a way to show people how to relate to one another.
But I have read a lot about this topic and I have yet to see an argument against the Bible that holds any weight. We don’t have to be afraid of questions, there are answers if we look for them.
And if we teach our kids all of these truths found in the Bible but don’t give them confidence to defend the Bible itself, then it will be easy for others to crumble their foundation. The Bible is true and can be trusted and our children need to know that.
A couple books for that off the top of my head: Surviving Religion 101 by Michael Kruger or Taking God at His Word by Kevin DeYoung
They provide a lot of extra reading options for each chapter and I’ve read/reviewed several of them. I’ll list the ones on my site that they mentioned for your reference as well:
Tearing Us Apart: How Abortion Harms Everything and Solves Nothing by Ryan T. Anderson and Alexandria DeSanctis (on my TBR) — Abortion
Is God Anti-Gay by Sam Allberry— Homosexuality
What Does the Bible Really Teach about Homosexuality? by Kevin DeYoung— Homosexuality
How Should We Then Live? by Francis Schaeffer (on my TBR)— Identity
The Rise and Triumph of the Modern Self by Carl S. Trueman— Identity
What God Has to Say about Our Bodies: How the Gospel is Good News for Our Physical Selves by Sam Allberry— Transgenderism
12 Ways Your Phone Is Changing You by Tony Reinke— Technology
How the Nations Rage by Jonathan Leeman— Political Engagement
Gentle and Lowly by Dane Ortlund— Hostility and Persecution
They also provide a list of resources to help stay on pace with culture changes including Albert Mohler’s ‘The Briefing’ podcast which I’ve listened to and appreciate, and Mama Bear Apologetics which is super helpful when relating cultural things to children specifically.
Recommendation
Especially if you have kids 10 or older, I would recommend this book. I may prefer Gilson’s book for the younger kids, but she doesn’t cover all the topics the Wilsons do.
I’m still working on quelling all of my fear regarding my kids’ faith and future, but I can tell you that I have a lot less fear and a lot more confidence in parenting from reading books like this that remind me that my beliefs are grounded in the love and truth of God who created each of us on purpose with a purpose. I don’t have to wonder if I’m on the wrong side of history because I know I am on the right side of God’s truth.
You can have that confidence too. It just takes some study of God’s Word and there are plenty of teachers who have provided books like these to walk you through it.
Be encouraged and inspired to guide your kids through difficult conversations knowing you are leading them to the ultimate place of love, truth, belonging, and life.
**Received a copy via Crossway in exchange for an honest review**
Book Review Blog | Facebook | Pinterest | StoryGraph
September 1, 2024
Cannot recommend this book enough, the formatting and easy to access truths are a truly invaluable tool in a world where Christian parents struggle to talk about cultural and ethical situations with their kids. This breaks the excuse wall wide open and I am here for it!
March 4, 2025
HIGHLY RECOMMEND 👏
I. Am. So. Impressed! What a resource! "What Do I say When...?," was written with such intellectual intentionality and spiritual care for Christians. I find it hard to compare this book to anything I've read that would be categorized as similar in approach.
There are ten topics covered. Each topic is introduced in an interesting and meaningful way, and then each chapter follows the same pattern - theological truths about that topic for parents to know, truths for your children to know, conversation starters for each topic, and a list of recommended resources. It doesn't sound earth shattering right? Wrong! The authors approach children on "floors." Ages 4-8 is first floor, 8-12 is second, and 12-16 is third. The truths and conversation starters are age appropriate for each floor. Okay. Time for brutal honesty. I skip questions at the end of chapters most times, because they're not done well 🙈 oftentimes they seem like a box a publisher asked the author to check? "Oh, hey add some cute discussion questions at the end." This is not that. The truths and conversation starters are MEATY. Oh, they are SO GOOD. It would seem as much thought went into those portions as all other parts of the book- and therein lies my highest praise. These authors seem genuinely dedicated to providing a way for YOU to have conversations with YOUR KIDS. This is not your cutesy, anecdotal little book by some influencer. The authors truly want to provide quality guidance and this mama is so grateful. No words are wasted. Every single one packs a punch.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️+❤️ from me! Bravo!
Thank you to the publisher for sending me this gifted copy. All opinions are my own. You can find the list of topics included on their website.
I. Am. So. Impressed! What a resource! "What Do I say When...?," was written with such intellectual intentionality and spiritual care for Christians. I find it hard to compare this book to anything I've read that would be categorized as similar in approach.
There are ten topics covered. Each topic is introduced in an interesting and meaningful way, and then each chapter follows the same pattern - theological truths about that topic for parents to know, truths for your children to know, conversation starters for each topic, and a list of recommended resources. It doesn't sound earth shattering right? Wrong! The authors approach children on "floors." Ages 4-8 is first floor, 8-12 is second, and 12-16 is third. The truths and conversation starters are age appropriate for each floor. Okay. Time for brutal honesty. I skip questions at the end of chapters most times, because they're not done well 🙈 oftentimes they seem like a box a publisher asked the author to check? "Oh, hey add some cute discussion questions at the end." This is not that. The truths and conversation starters are MEATY. Oh, they are SO GOOD. It would seem as much thought went into those portions as all other parts of the book- and therein lies my highest praise. These authors seem genuinely dedicated to providing a way for YOU to have conversations with YOUR KIDS. This is not your cutesy, anecdotal little book by some influencer. The authors truly want to provide quality guidance and this mama is so grateful. No words are wasted. Every single one packs a punch.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️+❤️ from me! Bravo!
Thank you to the publisher for sending me this gifted copy. All opinions are my own. You can find the list of topics included on their website.
October 16, 2024
Parents, I HIGHLY recommend getting a copy of this to keep on-hand! It can be read and studied; it can be used as a quick-reference guide; and it could be used as a family devotional guide. Fantastic.
February 28, 2025
The cultural landscape we are raising kids in is challenging, to say the least. Both parents and children are constantly inundated with ideas that fly in direct contradiction to a life that honors God. What are parents to do when they’re faced with the challenging questions of their children? Believers have been given everything needed for life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3), and we can be confident that includes the biblical raising of children. This book comes alongside parents as they guide their children in building a biblical worldview; the only type of worldview that truly makes sense.
The authors do a really great job at presenting the foundations of a biblically consistent worldview in a way that is practically applicable for parents to use with their children. The chapters are concise and clear, delivering content to busy parents that isn’t superfluous or repetitive.
The suggested truths, questions, and discussion points are presented in three “floors”, allowing parents to access developmentally-appropriate content for your own kids. Each chapter follows an repeated format of presenting the biblical worldview for the topic in question, simple truths all believers should know, suggested scripture memory verses, discussion questions, and recommended resources for further learning.
Thank you to Crossway for a complimentary book in exchange for an honest review. Opinions expressed are completely my own.
The authors do a really great job at presenting the foundations of a biblically consistent worldview in a way that is practically applicable for parents to use with their children. The chapters are concise and clear, delivering content to busy parents that isn’t superfluous or repetitive.
The suggested truths, questions, and discussion points are presented in three “floors”, allowing parents to access developmentally-appropriate content for your own kids. Each chapter follows an repeated format of presenting the biblical worldview for the topic in question, simple truths all believers should know, suggested scripture memory verses, discussion questions, and recommended resources for further learning.
Thank you to Crossway for a complimentary book in exchange for an honest review. Opinions expressed are completely my own.
Read
February 11, 2025Such a good reference book to have on hand. Each chapter does a great job introducing a topic and then the end of the chapters have resources and more specific talking points geared toward different aged children. It’s a very intellectual book and I will keep it on hand to refresh when these topics come up in my home.
July 17, 2025
Excellent Book
October 8, 2025
Lots of great questions to help guide conversations with your kids.
Several resources for parents.
Several resources for parents.
Read
January 30, 2026no specific rating, but very good & practical as a Christian educator!
November 11, 2024
A practical and helpful read to help Christian parents navigate tough questions!
September 29, 2024
This is a really good resource for parents (and youth/children's workers). The authors helpfully describe the Christian perspective on a number of cultural issues that our children are facing. The most helpful aspects of this book are the summarized points at the end of each chapter as well as different biblical truths and conversation starters tailored to different age groups. The end of these chapters provide a great reference tool for parents to go to when they are thinking through how to prepare their children for a world that is increasingly anti-truth and anti-Christianity.
Read
November 10, 2024This book is a helpful resource for parents in 2024! while I did sit down and read it in a couple of days, it isn’t structured as a typical book in that regard. I see myself revisiting it topically as needed.
December 2, 2025
Here is a book that serves as a parents’ guide to talk to one’s child about social, moral and cultural controversies in the contemporary West today, and no doubt relevant elsewhere too since the West often influences the rest of the world. The two authors are both married to each and this blend of the husband being a professor of Christian ethics and the wife being a curriculum writer and educator helps them write to address both the hot topic biblically and in an informed matter while also being conscious of where children are at.
I want to first talk about the format of the book before I move on to talk about the contents and topics covered as I think that’s what makes this book unique and stand out. I like how in each chapter after an intial take on the issue for the parents to understand the topic is then geared towards how to address kids at three levels what the book calls “floors,” with tips and principles for the youngest kids, the older kids and those in the middle. There’s also discussion questions to help parents make it a conversation as well too and not just a one way monologue. I find that helpful. I wish more books for parents would adopt the book’s similar format. No doubt this will impact how I will teach parents!
After the introduction there are ten chapters in this book addressing various topics followed by a conclusion. The book opens up first with the topic of human dignty which is so important for the rest of the conversation to talk about; the authors argue that only the Christian worldview can provide the explanation of human dignity. Then the second chapter addresses the issue of abortion, next a chapter on an overall view of biblical sexuality and another general topic of gender before the following chapters addresses more specific issues related to these overarching themes. For example chapter five takes on gender and chapter seven tackles transgenderism. There’s also discussions about identity, technology and political engagement. This book is also has a final chapter on hostility and persecution which is a relevant topic as the West moves to a more Post-Christian society; but also though the book doesn’t mention it, there will be those reading this book from other parts of the world where persecution is an ongoing intense reality, which I wished the author acknowledged that more, given Crossway the publishers is a big publisher in the Christian world with an international audience.
I do recommend this book though I did feel the chapter on political engagement recommended resources that to me are not in my opinion the best, with resources from Big Eva of the Reformed world. This work is generally mainstream Conservative Evangelical and open to Natural Law advocates including those who are Catholics which doesn’t come out strongly with the chapters but it does appear throughout the various chapter’s “recommended resources” section.
NOTE: This book was provided to me free by Crossway without any obligation for a positive review. All opinions offered above are mine unless otherwise stated or implied.
I want to first talk about the format of the book before I move on to talk about the contents and topics covered as I think that’s what makes this book unique and stand out. I like how in each chapter after an intial take on the issue for the parents to understand the topic is then geared towards how to address kids at three levels what the book calls “floors,” with tips and principles for the youngest kids, the older kids and those in the middle. There’s also discussion questions to help parents make it a conversation as well too and not just a one way monologue. I find that helpful. I wish more books for parents would adopt the book’s similar format. No doubt this will impact how I will teach parents!
After the introduction there are ten chapters in this book addressing various topics followed by a conclusion. The book opens up first with the topic of human dignty which is so important for the rest of the conversation to talk about; the authors argue that only the Christian worldview can provide the explanation of human dignity. Then the second chapter addresses the issue of abortion, next a chapter on an overall view of biblical sexuality and another general topic of gender before the following chapters addresses more specific issues related to these overarching themes. For example chapter five takes on gender and chapter seven tackles transgenderism. There’s also discussions about identity, technology and political engagement. This book is also has a final chapter on hostility and persecution which is a relevant topic as the West moves to a more Post-Christian society; but also though the book doesn’t mention it, there will be those reading this book from other parts of the world where persecution is an ongoing intense reality, which I wished the author acknowledged that more, given Crossway the publishers is a big publisher in the Christian world with an international audience.
I do recommend this book though I did feel the chapter on political engagement recommended resources that to me are not in my opinion the best, with resources from Big Eva of the Reformed world. This work is generally mainstream Conservative Evangelical and open to Natural Law advocates including those who are Catholics which doesn’t come out strongly with the chapters but it does appear throughout the various chapter’s “recommended resources” section.
NOTE: This book was provided to me free by Crossway without any obligation for a positive review. All opinions offered above are mine unless otherwise stated or implied.
February 12, 2025
Andrew’s work in the field of Christian ethics and Christian’s experience with curriculum development make for a highly informed and relevant resource on controversial subjects ranging from abortion and sexuality to transgenderism and technology. They argue that “you must catechize and disciple your children at ever-younger ages intentionally, or else the culture will do so unintentionally and with even greater effectiveness. If you don’t teach your children, the world will.”
I especially appreciated their organization of content about those ten big questions in “floors.” First-floor content is intended for first conversations which could happen at any age, but would likely be for younger children. Second-floor content prompts a more mature conversation. Third-floor content goes into great depth, and the recommended resources at the end of each chapter invite further independent research.
Whether parents are fielding questions on the fly or front-loading information their children will need later, this guide is strong in both biblical fidelity and cultural relevance. Suggested scripture memory passages for each chapter make it easily adaptable for family devotional times.
The Walkers have struck an important balance with What Do I Say When…? It is true that parents face a heavy responsibility to be aware and informed purveyors of solid biblical values. They must do all they can to prepare their children to thrive despite opposition. But then, as has been true throughout all of history, we must hand our children over to the Lord. He is faithful, and parents can entrust their children’s spiritual development and their futures to his loving care.
I especially appreciated their organization of content about those ten big questions in “floors.” First-floor content is intended for first conversations which could happen at any age, but would likely be for younger children. Second-floor content prompts a more mature conversation. Third-floor content goes into great depth, and the recommended resources at the end of each chapter invite further independent research.
Whether parents are fielding questions on the fly or front-loading information their children will need later, this guide is strong in both biblical fidelity and cultural relevance. Suggested scripture memory passages for each chapter make it easily adaptable for family devotional times.
The Walkers have struck an important balance with What Do I Say When…? It is true that parents face a heavy responsibility to be aware and informed purveyors of solid biblical values. They must do all they can to prepare their children to thrive despite opposition. But then, as has been true throughout all of history, we must hand our children over to the Lord. He is faithful, and parents can entrust their children’s spiritual development and their futures to his loving care.
March 21, 2025
Husband and wife team up to write this helpful guide for parents on navigating the chaos in our culture. They tackle these issues in each chapter from identity, technology, transgenderism, and abortion. This is just to name a few. This book is unique. The chapter starts out for parents with information on the topic and then goes into the Biblical teaching on the topic. What makes it unique is last part of each chapter. This part is what I found the most helpful. There are what the authors call "floors ". Each floor represents an age or developmental stage. The first floor is for young children and as you feel they are ready to learn more on the topic, you move up a floor. There are three floors. Each section of a floor has some
Biblical truths to teach and conversation starters with thought provoking questions to help you discuss the topic with you children. At the end of each chapter there are further resources sited. This is such a great tool for parents, especially those less versed in some of these cultural topics.
I have read a lot on these subjects and found it very repetitive myself as I know a lot about these issues already, but I appreciated this book more for the conversation guide as I learn how to discuss these topics with my children.
Such a great resource!
Thank you @crosswaybooks for a copy of the book for my honest thoughts!
Biblical truths to teach and conversation starters with thought provoking questions to help you discuss the topic with you children. At the end of each chapter there are further resources sited. This is such a great tool for parents, especially those less versed in some of these cultural topics.
I have read a lot on these subjects and found it very repetitive myself as I know a lot about these issues already, but I appreciated this book more for the conversation guide as I learn how to discuss these topics with my children.
Such a great resource!
Thank you @crosswaybooks for a copy of the book for my honest thoughts!
January 22, 2025
Excellent resource for parents. The Walkers make it clear that this is not a parenting book but a book for parents. It’s not a list of things to do. It’s a starting point for conversations between your child regarding 10 major topics of today that you NEED to be able to speak with your child about. The thing I absolutely love about this book is that they give “biblical truths and conversation starters” 3 times in 3 different ways, so that you have instruction for 4-8 year olds, 8-12 year olds, and 12-16 year olds. This makes it a resource that you want to keep around and keep coming back to as your child becomes more mature and more knowledgeable (and more curious).
Your child will ask questions. You need to be prepared to answer them. “If you aren’t discipling your children, we can be sure that secular classrooms, peer groups, and social media will.”
Your child will ask questions. You need to be prepared to answer them. “If you aren’t discipling your children, we can be sure that secular classrooms, peer groups, and social media will.”
September 14, 2024
I suppose I didn't really know what I was getting into when I picked this up. I will actively disrecommend this book to anyone who asks me.
The content promotes harmful anti-LGBTQ+ rhetoric, pushing an agenda that encourages parents to quash natural differences in human development in favor of a homogenized world that defers to ancient scripture translated from Hebrew, Aramaic, and Greek.
It inaccurately portrays the fight for equal treatment as a recent phenomenon. Did the authors wake up yesterday or just assume their readers did?
The authors also claim that social media is culpable for a rise in gender-affirming care, when in reality, what internet has really done is provide a safe space for young people whose parents read books like this one.
The content promotes harmful anti-LGBTQ+ rhetoric, pushing an agenda that encourages parents to quash natural differences in human development in favor of a homogenized world that defers to ancient scripture translated from Hebrew, Aramaic, and Greek.
It inaccurately portrays the fight for equal treatment as a recent phenomenon. Did the authors wake up yesterday or just assume their readers did?
The authors also claim that social media is culpable for a rise in gender-affirming care, when in reality, what internet has really done is provide a safe space for young people whose parents read books like this one.
February 19, 2025
3.5 rounded up. Concise but dense compilation of conversation starters & biblical truths regarding tough challenges faced children of today & the future. I definitely plan on keeping this on the shelf for when I become a mother as I think it’s a good book to grab for a quick assist when these type of questions inevitably come up. Didn’t get a true 4 because the tone was overall a little unrelenting for me (though never callous or nasty). I worry so much about raising kiddos in the world we live in today so this is definitely a helpful resources to give parents or future parents some hope & peace!
May 15, 2025
What this is:
-A primer
What this is not:
-A nuanced explainer
So, if you want the former, this is good, maybe even great. If you want the latter and do not read it as the former, you will be disappointed and possibly frustrated, like some of the lower ratings on here suggest. If you are also not accustom and maybe bristle reading things by people with conviction who believe wiggle room and grey area is an on ramp to sin, you may struggle with this. A lot of a room when gracing, much less room when truthing.
-1 star for frequently using their daughters’ turns of phrase to springboard into their points.
-A primer
What this is not:
-A nuanced explainer
So, if you want the former, this is good, maybe even great. If you want the latter and do not read it as the former, you will be disappointed and possibly frustrated, like some of the lower ratings on here suggest. If you are also not accustom and maybe bristle reading things by people with conviction who believe wiggle room and grey area is an on ramp to sin, you may struggle with this. A lot of a room when gracing, much less room when truthing.
-1 star for frequently using their daughters’ turns of phrase to springboard into their points.
August 31, 2025
As a youth pastor, I am extremely thankful for a resource like this I can hand to parents. This book covers some of the biggest topics of our day from a Christian standpoint, and does it concisely for busy parents. I found the chapters on “Gender” and “Political Engagement” to be especially helpful and well-written. A unique aspect of this book is that it also gives parents discussion questions and important truths to discuss with kids for each topic depending on the ages you’re trying to teach. This is a must-have resource for parents and next-gen pastors alike!
January 4, 2026
Helpful book -- probably would've been more helpful had I read it years ago, but still helpful, nonetheless. I appreciate the conversation starters and biblical truths after every chapter/topic being separated into 3 different age groups to help parents gage the best way to explain/discuss these cultural topics with children in different life stages and understanding. I also appreciate the memory verses for each chapter that coincide with the topic at hand and what the Bible says about it. All around, 4.5 stars. Very basic, but that's helpful for busy parents.
August 20, 2024
Nails A Cultural Need
It should not be out of place for bible believing christians to hold to clear bible believing teaching. In an ever changing landscape of compromise, this refreshing read fills this need. More of a conversation starter than an extensive exposition, this book takes what might be difficult to breach as a family and gives a comprehensive starting point in 10 bite size morsels.
It should not be out of place for bible believing christians to hold to clear bible believing teaching. In an ever changing landscape of compromise, this refreshing read fills this need. More of a conversation starter than an extensive exposition, this book takes what might be difficult to breach as a family and gives a comprehensive starting point in 10 bite size morsels.
November 21, 2024
Maybe 5 stars because of its immense usefulness. Nothing in here should surprise the discerning Christian parent- but it is an incredibly useful tool as a succinct reference and guide to navigating questions with your kids. Pedagogically- I really appreciated that it pushes for conversations not mic drop answers to tough questions. The Bible is clear, but our goal is helping make it so to young hearts.
August 7, 2025
“You must catechize and disciple your children at younger ages intentionally, or else the culture will do so unintentionally and with even greater effectiveness.
If you don’t teach your children, the world will.”
Not a parent, but I work in youth ministry and found this very helpful and would be something I would recommend to parents! They weren’t kidding when they only have time to just scratch the surface on each of the topics but they did a great job.
If you don’t teach your children, the world will.”
Not a parent, but I work in youth ministry and found this very helpful and would be something I would recommend to parents! They weren’t kidding when they only have time to just scratch the surface on each of the topics but they did a great job.
August 23, 2024
This is a great guide/resource for practical use. Whether it’s family worship or junior/high school homeschool curriculum regarding Christian Ethics. They communicate current cultural issues and provide biblical truth and right responses to help your children think through the chaos. I highly recommend buying a physical copy to serve better as a commonly referred resource.
August 23, 2024
A good resource tool for parents of children of any age. Also good for parents to be aware of content that their children should know at certain ages and to clarify the parents’ own beliefs on certain issues.
December 31, 2024
This is a great resource for Christian parents. It addresses current issues in society with a biblical view. It also provides questions and conversation starters for children of all age levels. This book led to a lot of excellent discussions across our dinner table.
June 21, 2025
A very helpful reference book for parents. Chapters are well structured with solid Biblical support and good application. The 3 floors (stages) instead of using ages is clever. I will recommend this book.
August 1, 2025
This book could prove to be a helpful guide for parents wishing to begin having conversations about cultural beliefs that are contradictory to Scripture with their children. I especially appreciated the discussion suggestions provided to engage a variety age groupings on each topic.
August 18, 2025
This book will be helpful for parents who are young in the faith and have young children. Each chapter briefly addresses a contemporary ethical controversy from a Christian/biblical perspective. Then the authors share age-appropriate discussion starters.
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