For Goodness Sex: Changing the Way We Talk to Teens about Sexuality, Values, and Health by Al Vernacchio invites parents, students, educators and everyone, really, into Vernacchio’s Sexuality and Society class in a private Quaker school near Philadelphia, PA. In Mr. V’s classroom, students are safe to sort out all of the negative and exploitive messages they’ve received about human sexuality and begin to build an accurate and positive image of themselves, which will in turn allow them to form healthy relationships and make responsible life choices. Vernacchio emphasizes sexuality as a force for good.
The book is divided into eight chapters that include subjects such as healthy sex, creating a family philosophy, becoming your authentic self, gender myths, and the effect of social media and technology on teen relationships. In Chapter 1, Vernacchio explains, “We are whole people with bodies, brains, emotions and spirits. All of those things are part of our sexuality.” Each chapter ends with real teen questions from the “Question Box” Mr. V. keeps in the back of his classroom and Vernacchio’s example of how he would answer them.
Perhaps his most important message is the one that he shared in his March 2012 TED talk which as of October 2014 has been viewed more than 1.2 million times. Vernacchio says we need to abandon our “baseball metaphor” for sex and adopt a more mutual, enjoyable metaphor like pizza. If you’re having any doubts about whether or not you will like this book, watch Vernacchio’s TED talk. If it speaks to you, there’s a good chance his book will, too.
Overall, as a former high school teacher, former sex crimes prosecutor and current child forensic interviewer and adjunct professor of criminal sciences, I can’t say enough good things about Vernacchio’s message and how crucial it is for our society. The only place where I found content that concerned me was in one little section in Chapter 7 where he discusses the hymen. In Vernacchio’s defense, most physicians and nurses who do not specialize in sexual assault are still woefully undereducated when it comes to the female anatomy, and more likely to base their examinations and findings on hymenal myths than on the real facts about the hymen. I can only hope that this book sells out quickly and a new edition is released soon with updated and accurate medical information on what is perhaps the most misunderstood little membrane in the history of humanity.
In a world that still talks about sex as running around the bases and sliding into home, Vernacchio steps up to the plate and hits a grand slam, driving home the intellectual, emotional and spiritual aspects of sexuality in the process.