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Why Won't You Sleep?!: A Game-Changing Approach for Exhausted Parents of Nonstop, Super Alert, Big Feeling Kids
- GenresParentingNonfiction
336 pages, Paperback
Published November 19, 2024
14 people are currently reading
32 people want to read
About the author
Macall Gordon
2 booksMacall is a researcher, advocate, and certified pediatric sleep consultant specializing in non-cry-it-out approaches. She has deep expertise in the sleep training research literature and parenting advice and she advocates for a change in how we think about sleep training. She also has unique expertise in the link between children's temperament and sleep behavior. She has a book on sleep for this population due to be published in late 2024.
She has a B.S. in Human Biology from Stanford University and an M.A. in Applied Psychology from Antioch University, Seattle where she worked as a Senior Lecturer in the graduate Counseling Psychology program. She has conducted and presented research worldwide on sleep training advice, parenting, and the effect of temperament on sleep. She is
also a certified Gentle Sleep Coach in private practice, as well as with the women’s telehealth platform, Maven Clinic. She comes to this work because she had two sensitive, alert, intense children, and she didn’t sleep for 18 years.
She has a B.S. in Human Biology from Stanford University and an M.A. in Applied Psychology from Antioch University, Seattle where she worked as a Senior Lecturer in the graduate Counseling Psychology program. She has conducted and presented research worldwide on sleep training advice, parenting, and the effect of temperament on sleep. She is
also a certified Gentle Sleep Coach in private practice, as well as with the women’s telehealth platform, Maven Clinic. She comes to this work because she had two sensitive, alert, intense children, and she didn’t sleep for 18 years.
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Displaying 1 of 1 review
May 23, 2025
My husband and I are the proud parents of three children – 20, 13 and 3 months. I feel it is safe to say one of the hardest things you will have to do as a parent is establishing a sleep schedule and feeding. I also feel that these two areas are likely where you will receive the most ‘feedback’, advice, criticism, comparison and everything in between. Most of this comes from a positive place, but when you are struggling and tired as a parent it can be that breaking point for you. On top of this, add the constant bombardment on social media about the newborn who sleeps 12 hours, the wonderful sleep schedule that has ensured that their child sleeps through the night on their own, etc.. The best thing I did with my third child was to delete one of my social media accounts and then limit my usage on another to help with my anxiety and comparison to others. While I am happy that others may have had success with their methods, I did not find that they were helpful for the majority of parents and it added a layer of anxiety that I did not need at such a vulnerable stage of parenthood.
I was excited to read this guide, but also hesitant to see their approach. Most parenting guides, that I have read, take a one way only approach, don’t always feel right for my parenting style and tend to avoid looking at the unique personality traits of the child (children are all born different and it is hard to just lump them in one category). They can sometimes make you feel like you are failing (not their intent) but the guides just doesn’t work for your own little one for a variety of reasons.
I am not going to lie, I cried when I started reading the guide. For the first time, I felt heard as a parent, felt that it was okay to fail and have to start over again, that it was okay to revert back if needed but mostly I cried because of the non-judgmental tone and understanding approach. I have had three kids and this is the first time I didn’t feel like a failure. Those sleepless nights on the floor beside their bed, rocking them to sleep, bouncing (the list can go on), and the way that other parents made me feel bad for doing (I have heard so many times, ‘just put them down when they are drowsy’ and ‘let them cry it out’) were finally recognized. I felt that I wasn’t completely losing my mind and that I wasn’t failing, I just wasn’t taking the right approach to match what my child needs at night.
My children were (and are) a livewire, and each of them is slightly different. My eldest was labelled colicky and struggled with sleep, needing to be held or to hold on to my husband or I, but during the day he was the most social butterfly – he loved talking and playing with others. My middle child was slightly more shy, preferring to watch the action during the day but at night, again like his brother, preferred to be held, and rocked to sleep. Our youngest, while it is still early, has a completely different temperament and loves to sleep, she is quieter and prefers to watch the action and be held during the day. After reading through this guide, I realized that all the stress and anxiety I went through when they were younger was because I was trying to force them into following a routine that would never work for them because of their own unique personality.
The guide takes a great approach for preparing you to understand and create a sleep schedule that works for your family. It starts off with recognizing where you are at, providing reassurance that you are doing a great job and then helping us understand our little ones. Then we dive into recognizing is everyone ready to start working on their sleep. Which also comes with important checklists, symptoms/items to watch out for and ensuring you as the parent are ready to (a good check in with our emotional and physical state is just as important before we start tackling the sleep schedule!). We then dive right into four important strategies to tackle the most common sleep issues, the what if scenarios and then most importantly – what is progress and what does this look like. Sometimes as parents, if we don’t see an immediate change then we may be worried it isn’t working but this isn’t realistic for little ones.
The approach, tone and check ins are so important for parents. Why Won’t You Sleep?! reads like a conversation, versus a one size fits all approach. I felt no-judgement, reassurance for my fears, and understanding of the unique struggles that are being faced at such a vulnerable point in a parenting journey. We are armed with checklists, what to watch out for, examples and what to do if ‘x’ happens. Why Won’t You Sleep?! is a definite parent must have, I would recommend it to all parents regardless of where there child is at. It is not a read once and put it back on the shelf, it is definitely one of those guides that you should and will take back down, make notes, bookmark pages and reread again.
I was excited to read this guide, but also hesitant to see their approach. Most parenting guides, that I have read, take a one way only approach, don’t always feel right for my parenting style and tend to avoid looking at the unique personality traits of the child (children are all born different and it is hard to just lump them in one category). They can sometimes make you feel like you are failing (not their intent) but the guides just doesn’t work for your own little one for a variety of reasons.
I am not going to lie, I cried when I started reading the guide. For the first time, I felt heard as a parent, felt that it was okay to fail and have to start over again, that it was okay to revert back if needed but mostly I cried because of the non-judgmental tone and understanding approach. I have had three kids and this is the first time I didn’t feel like a failure. Those sleepless nights on the floor beside their bed, rocking them to sleep, bouncing (the list can go on), and the way that other parents made me feel bad for doing (I have heard so many times, ‘just put them down when they are drowsy’ and ‘let them cry it out’) were finally recognized. I felt that I wasn’t completely losing my mind and that I wasn’t failing, I just wasn’t taking the right approach to match what my child needs at night.
My children were (and are) a livewire, and each of them is slightly different. My eldest was labelled colicky and struggled with sleep, needing to be held or to hold on to my husband or I, but during the day he was the most social butterfly – he loved talking and playing with others. My middle child was slightly more shy, preferring to watch the action during the day but at night, again like his brother, preferred to be held, and rocked to sleep. Our youngest, while it is still early, has a completely different temperament and loves to sleep, she is quieter and prefers to watch the action and be held during the day. After reading through this guide, I realized that all the stress and anxiety I went through when they were younger was because I was trying to force them into following a routine that would never work for them because of their own unique personality.
The guide takes a great approach for preparing you to understand and create a sleep schedule that works for your family. It starts off with recognizing where you are at, providing reassurance that you are doing a great job and then helping us understand our little ones. Then we dive into recognizing is everyone ready to start working on their sleep. Which also comes with important checklists, symptoms/items to watch out for and ensuring you as the parent are ready to (a good check in with our emotional and physical state is just as important before we start tackling the sleep schedule!). We then dive right into four important strategies to tackle the most common sleep issues, the what if scenarios and then most importantly – what is progress and what does this look like. Sometimes as parents, if we don’t see an immediate change then we may be worried it isn’t working but this isn’t realistic for little ones.
The approach, tone and check ins are so important for parents. Why Won’t You Sleep?! reads like a conversation, versus a one size fits all approach. I felt no-judgement, reassurance for my fears, and understanding of the unique struggles that are being faced at such a vulnerable point in a parenting journey. We are armed with checklists, what to watch out for, examples and what to do if ‘x’ happens. Why Won’t You Sleep?! is a definite parent must have, I would recommend it to all parents regardless of where there child is at. It is not a read once and put it back on the shelf, it is definitely one of those guides that you should and will take back down, make notes, bookmark pages and reread again.
Displaying 1 of 1 review