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Bigboobenstein #1
Bigboobenstein
Is it really necrophilia if the corpse you're fucking has been reanimated? You just might find the answer to such a question within these pages. Aside from supposed necrophiliacs, you will also find porn-obsessed bridge trolls, talking hernias, reanimated corpses with tremendous skills in the art of cunnilingus, voodoo pimps, asshole local musicians, teenage boys who can't stop playing with themselves, horny hunchbacks and more in this new novel from Jeff O'Brien. Who could ask for more in a book?
In a small, grimy American town not worth giving a name to, Doctor Kuntz has built a reputation on his masterful ability to provide women with breast implants, and at a fraction of the competition's prices. But little does the town know that few of his patients survive the procedure. And those who don't become products of the doctor's macabre secret ability to reanimate the dead, and are brought back to become the mindless servants of his every perverted desire.
When Doctor Kuntz believes he has figured out how to reanimate the dead with full brain capacity, he patiently waits for the next candidate. Soon after, a young, destitute woman by the name of Adelaide De Carlo comes to him desperate for the breasts her boyfriend wishes she had. When the operation goes awry, all hell breaks loose and the small, scummy town gets turned upside down.
Don't let the title and concept fool you. This is by far the darkest and most thoughtful piece of work to come from author Jeff O'Brien yet.
In a small, grimy American town not worth giving a name to, Doctor Kuntz has built a reputation on his masterful ability to provide women with breast implants, and at a fraction of the competition's prices. But little does the town know that few of his patients survive the procedure. And those who don't become products of the doctor's macabre secret ability to reanimate the dead, and are brought back to become the mindless servants of his every perverted desire.
When Doctor Kuntz believes he has figured out how to reanimate the dead with full brain capacity, he patiently waits for the next candidate. Soon after, a young, destitute woman by the name of Adelaide De Carlo comes to him desperate for the breasts her boyfriend wishes she had. When the operation goes awry, all hell breaks loose and the small, scummy town gets turned upside down.
Don't let the title and concept fool you. This is by far the darkest and most thoughtful piece of work to come from author Jeff O'Brien yet.
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First published August 1, 2013
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Jeff O'Brien
142 books181 followersI'm a bassist who writes books. Or a writer who plays bass. Depends on the day.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 51 reviews
July 29, 2016
We all know there’s only one way to a man’s heart, Adelaide. That way is tits.
Anyone who knows me knows that I'm more of an ass man myself, but whatever their size and shape, I do love me some tits as well. Just so long as they're real....*
At first glance, this book might seem like just another raunchy horror comedy, but anyone taking the time to read it will surely walk away with a different perception altogether. For beneath all the sex and violence and general ridiculousness of the proceedings, there is a strong message regarding the importance of self-acceptance, one that is unfortunately lost on so many in our increasingly shallow and materialistic society. Whether you're a curvy gal or a flat-chested gal or both, or whether you're one of those jerks who puts them down or one of those dudes who wonders why they even give those jerks the time of day, you will recognize yourself in this book and you will appreciate O'Brien's skillful depiction.
Looking forward to checking out The Groom of BigBoobenstein and Daughters of BigBoobenstein as well!
*Okay, who am I kidding? I love the well-done "fake" ones too. HOW CAN I TOUCH IF THEY ARE NOT REAL?!
July 30, 2016
Poor Adelaide. All she wants is for her boyfriend, Johnny, to love her. Johnny is a scumbag, but Adelaide can't see it. Instead, she decides that getting breast implants will win his heart. Dr. Kuntz is only charging $300 a pair - what could go wrong? Against the wishes of her mother, Homeless Man and Herbert the Hernia, Adelaide gets the procedure. Something definitely goes wrong, but her boobs are bigger. Will Johnny love her now? Is that even important to Undead Adelaide? With the help of hooded, shape-shifting little humanoids, horny brother Bobby and the big-breasted mayor, things just might work out.
There is plenty of outlandish entertainment to be found here, and a serious message about appearances. Also, we learn that horny teenage boys can open the door to other worlds. Priceless.
There is plenty of outlandish entertainment to be found here, and a serious message about appearances. Also, we learn that horny teenage boys can open the door to other worlds. Priceless.
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October 29, 2020This is not really a review of my own book. In fact, it's not a review at all. What I'm doing is telling the story of how what I believe to be my greatest creation came to be.
Within weeks before the release of this book, my ex-wife and I visited a psychic in Salem, Massachusetts. This is something we have often done, merely for shits and giggles. We had visited several before, and we had walked away every time laughing at how absurdly -and obviously- phony they all were. But then there was this lady. She didn't do any awful cold-reads. She didn't say my dead grandfather whose first name begins with J was standing behind me. She cut right to the heart of the matter and told me of very specific illnesses suffered by very specific members of my family. For someone who knows nothing about me short of my name to say your "blank" suffers from "blank", and to have the knowledge be accurate, is a tad chilling. After a few more equally chilling and frighteningly specific acts of what I guess I'd call clairvoyance, she told me not to stop writing because my next book, and her exact words were, would "be the one that does it for you." And nearly two years later, she was right about that too. Yes, the sales have been modest by any standards. But it has sold more copies than all the rest of my eleven books combined, and somehow continues to garner interest, unlike the others which have either plateaued or merely become forgotten even to myself. Unfortunately she didn't say it would blast me into super-stardom, or even afford me an early retirement from cutting meat, but her words have thus far held true.
Now let's go back in time to 2002, almost ten years before I even got serious about putting pen to paper. I was a 21-year-old goofball who spent most of his time frequenting rock clubs and drinking copious amounts of cheap beer and whiskey, and smoking far too many Camel Lights (I have since quit all of those habits). I had some friends in a sort of novelty-band called Foam-n-Mesh. I was particularly taken by a song of theirs called "Bigboobins'-Time (I Only Read it for the Articles)", a song about teenage boys trying to explain their found stash of porn mags to their parents. Only, I heard the title wrong and thought it was called BigBoobenstein. I remember thinking WOW-WHAT A GENIUS TITLE. And when I publicly declared how great I thought it was, I was laughed at for so horribly mishearing the lyrics, and received sporadic ball-busting for ten years to come.
Now we come to 2013, the year in which this book came to be. My friend John Davidian (to whom the book is dedicated) saw my other titles (The Halloween Orgy Massacre, The Splatter House Rules, Vampire Dominatrices From Mars vs. The Zombies of Christ- to name a few) and jokingly told me that BigBoobenstein should be the title of my next book. I was floored! Of course it should be.
So I played around in my mind with a few ideas and the book virtually fucking wrote itself in four days of near non-stop note taking and typing. If anything is gotten out of this self indulgent, long-winded diatribe, maybe that can be a tad of inspiration to fellow writers. Look far beyond your favorite books and movies for influence. Inspiration is the most ubiquitous of the earth's elements if you merely open your eyes to it. Something stupid you said while shitfaced over a decade ago could be the catalyst behind your best work.
Now about the book itself. The title and cover will jump right out at you and tell you what to expect. It's raunchy. It's gory. It's over-the-top sexual. It's funny (or at least I hope you think so). Those attributes have always been, and will probably always be, my modus operandi, as they say on Law & Order... But I throw into that mix an underlying theme regarding what I consider to be important issues. Sexual orientation, acceptance, equality, sexual liberation, religious tyranny in the American household, and all those other super-liberal agendas. Before I wrote this book I had been working with lots of ideas about a story revolving around Body Dysmorphia, something I've suffered a little bit of in my younger days, but on a much smaller scale than what so many young girls (and boys) face and so tragically carry into their adult lives, leading to such horrible things as insecurity, addiction and failed relationships. So I put the title and the concept together, and BigBoobenstein was born. I hope you laugh at this book. I even hope you are at times repulsed by it. But I hope, above all else, that the message carries over above the smutty backdrop. I hope the issue of "imperfect" breasts can be seen as a common representation of any type of body shame, from weak ankles to trans identification to disfigurement to anything and everything else that people use to make you feel inferior, and that the concept of owning your body and making the world bow at your feet and accept how fucking awesome you are can be influenced. Because you are fucking awesome if you are you.
With love,
Jeff O'Brien
May 7th, 2015
11:17 pm
Within weeks before the release of this book, my ex-wife and I visited a psychic in Salem, Massachusetts. This is something we have often done, merely for shits and giggles. We had visited several before, and we had walked away every time laughing at how absurdly -and obviously- phony they all were. But then there was this lady. She didn't do any awful cold-reads. She didn't say my dead grandfather whose first name begins with J was standing behind me. She cut right to the heart of the matter and told me of very specific illnesses suffered by very specific members of my family. For someone who knows nothing about me short of my name to say your "blank" suffers from "blank", and to have the knowledge be accurate, is a tad chilling. After a few more equally chilling and frighteningly specific acts of what I guess I'd call clairvoyance, she told me not to stop writing because my next book, and her exact words were, would "be the one that does it for you." And nearly two years later, she was right about that too. Yes, the sales have been modest by any standards. But it has sold more copies than all the rest of my eleven books combined, and somehow continues to garner interest, unlike the others which have either plateaued or merely become forgotten even to myself. Unfortunately she didn't say it would blast me into super-stardom, or even afford me an early retirement from cutting meat, but her words have thus far held true.
Now let's go back in time to 2002, almost ten years before I even got serious about putting pen to paper. I was a 21-year-old goofball who spent most of his time frequenting rock clubs and drinking copious amounts of cheap beer and whiskey, and smoking far too many Camel Lights (I have since quit all of those habits). I had some friends in a sort of novelty-band called Foam-n-Mesh. I was particularly taken by a song of theirs called "Bigboobins'-Time (I Only Read it for the Articles)", a song about teenage boys trying to explain their found stash of porn mags to their parents. Only, I heard the title wrong and thought it was called BigBoobenstein. I remember thinking WOW-WHAT A GENIUS TITLE. And when I publicly declared how great I thought it was, I was laughed at for so horribly mishearing the lyrics, and received sporadic ball-busting for ten years to come.
Now we come to 2013, the year in which this book came to be. My friend John Davidian (to whom the book is dedicated) saw my other titles (The Halloween Orgy Massacre, The Splatter House Rules, Vampire Dominatrices From Mars vs. The Zombies of Christ- to name a few) and jokingly told me that BigBoobenstein should be the title of my next book. I was floored! Of course it should be.
So I played around in my mind with a few ideas and the book virtually fucking wrote itself in four days of near non-stop note taking and typing. If anything is gotten out of this self indulgent, long-winded diatribe, maybe that can be a tad of inspiration to fellow writers. Look far beyond your favorite books and movies for influence. Inspiration is the most ubiquitous of the earth's elements if you merely open your eyes to it. Something stupid you said while shitfaced over a decade ago could be the catalyst behind your best work.
Now about the book itself. The title and cover will jump right out at you and tell you what to expect. It's raunchy. It's gory. It's over-the-top sexual. It's funny (or at least I hope you think so). Those attributes have always been, and will probably always be, my modus operandi, as they say on Law & Order... But I throw into that mix an underlying theme regarding what I consider to be important issues. Sexual orientation, acceptance, equality, sexual liberation, religious tyranny in the American household, and all those other super-liberal agendas. Before I wrote this book I had been working with lots of ideas about a story revolving around Body Dysmorphia, something I've suffered a little bit of in my younger days, but on a much smaller scale than what so many young girls (and boys) face and so tragically carry into their adult lives, leading to such horrible things as insecurity, addiction and failed relationships. So I put the title and the concept together, and BigBoobenstein was born. I hope you laugh at this book. I even hope you are at times repulsed by it. But I hope, above all else, that the message carries over above the smutty backdrop. I hope the issue of "imperfect" breasts can be seen as a common representation of any type of body shame, from weak ankles to trans identification to disfigurement to anything and everything else that people use to make you feel inferior, and that the concept of owning your body and making the world bow at your feet and accept how fucking awesome you are can be influenced. Because you are fucking awesome if you are you.
With love,
Jeff O'Brien
May 7th, 2015
11:17 pm
November 3, 2019
Big boobs, re-animated corpses, horny teenagers and mysterious trolls who live under a bridge. Reading that list I was expecting to read some trashy b-movie style novel and in a way that's what I got. The story is much more than that though.
Adelaide is desperate to please her arrogant rock-star boyfriend, so much so she is willing to disfigure herself for him. So she visits Dr Kuntz to get a nice big set of double Ds. Things don't work out so well and she ends up dead, luckily the Dr is on hand to bring her back... not before he fixes those boobs though. And so begins the chaos and killing.
You may think that is silliness but there is big message here, women are fine as they are, they don't need to improve themselves with surgery. The killings are all pretty brutal but it is easy to see that they each deserved what was coming to them.
The thing stopping this from getting the full 5* is the ending, it was soppy and cringeworthy, maybe that is the way of a b-movie but I felt it failed in a book.
Blog review here> https://felcherman.wordpress.com/2019...
Adelaide is desperate to please her arrogant rock-star boyfriend, so much so she is willing to disfigure herself for him. So she visits Dr Kuntz to get a nice big set of double Ds. Things don't work out so well and she ends up dead, luckily the Dr is on hand to bring her back... not before he fixes those boobs though. And so begins the chaos and killing.
You may think that is silliness but there is big message here, women are fine as they are, they don't need to improve themselves with surgery. The killings are all pretty brutal but it is easy to see that they each deserved what was coming to them.
The thing stopping this from getting the full 5* is the ending, it was soppy and cringeworthy, maybe that is the way of a b-movie but I felt it failed in a book.
Blog review here> https://felcherman.wordpress.com/2019...
February 22, 2014
I received a paperback version of the book from the author because he is awesome and I am fabulous. Ohhh, and for review purposes, of course.
This is a dementedly cute, horror story of an undead fairy tale, complete with several life lessons and/or advice.
Here is what I learned:
1. If you have bad self-esteem, getting a boob job won't cause you to have good self-esteem. It also won't make anyone love you. Though, you might end up in a position of power, like mayor or maybe a some sort of town heroine.
2. If you do get a boob job, stay away from cut-rate plastic surgeons with ridiculous names, deformed and/or smelly staff. You get what you pay for and even more of what you didn't pay for.
3. Stay away from pimps with make-up jobs. They don't know the "Johnny" you're looking for. He might also put some sort of venereal disease curse on you.
4. Listen to the homeless man with the talking hernia. He tells the TRUTH.
5. Those porn-loving, rhyming, shape-shifting trolls will be of some help. You should probably talk to them...or introduce them to your 15 year old brother.
6. There is magick in masturbation. No, really!
7. Oh yeah, and the love you wanted was right there in front of you.
This is a dementedly cute, horror story of an undead fairy tale, complete with several life lessons and/or advice.
Here is what I learned:
1. If you have bad self-esteem, getting a boob job won't cause you to have good self-esteem. It also won't make anyone love you. Though, you might end up in a position of power, like mayor or maybe a some sort of town heroine.
2. If you do get a boob job, stay away from cut-rate plastic surgeons with ridiculous names, deformed and/or smelly staff. You get what you pay for and even more of what you didn't pay for.
3. Stay away from pimps with make-up jobs. They don't know the "Johnny" you're looking for. He might also put some sort of venereal disease curse on you.
4. Listen to the homeless man with the talking hernia. He tells the TRUTH.
5. Those porn-loving, rhyming, shape-shifting trolls will be of some help. You should probably talk to them...or introduce them to your 15 year old brother.
6. There is magick in masturbation. No, really!
7. Oh yeah, and the love you wanted was right there in front of you.
July 23, 2023
I’m going to start this review with a statement I do not want judged on. This book was written specifically for me. That’s how I feel. I feel like Jeff O’ Brien is actually a pen name that John Waters and Frank Hennenlotter created so they could write this book. Something I absolutely adore about bizarro and weird cinema, is that often the most absurd premise is used as a satirical device for some ailment facing society. Bigboobenstein does just that. The book addresses sexism, body shaming, and some other stuff that you don’t want to hear about right now and you’ll figure out. What you want to read about is if this book is as wild as the cover and title imply, right? It absolutely is. There are trolls, weird mayors, zombies, and a nice joke that you’ll totally get if you have a deep affection for Young Frankenstein. That’s a good reference actually, let me end there, a little Young Frankenstein, a little Frankenhooker, a little Hairspray(THE OG!) and you’ve got Bigboobenstein. Like The Cramps made a Troma movie. K thx.
May 14, 2015
Loved this book! An easy read, fast paced and very entertaining. Lots of actual laugh out loud moments, not just the subtle sniggers . . . although, it did make me snigger a fair bit too. Once again, this is another concoction, well defined elements of what classic horror movies are made of . . . but with added ZANG AND UMPH created by wonderful literary bloodiness that makes it even more fun! Great characters! Great book! Recommend!
LOVE THE TITLE! BIGBOOBENSTEIN! BIG MONSTER BOOBS! YES! . . . or, no? I'm not sure . . . Wow! Confessing my love for big boobed monsters in a review really wasn't the way I imagined starting my morning. O'Brien . . . what are you doing to me? Whatever it is, keep doing it ;)
LOVE THE TITLE! BIGBOOBENSTEIN! BIG MONSTER BOOBS! YES! . . . or, no? I'm not sure . . . Wow! Confessing my love for big boobed monsters in a review really wasn't the way I imagined starting my morning. O'Brien . . . what are you doing to me? Whatever it is, keep doing it ;)
March 13, 2015
When young adults today tell you, "You have no idea what it's like being young!", some truth is held within that statement. As we grow older, we tend to forget what it's like being an angsty teen in love or an outcast whose bullied or the trials and tribulations of fitting in with peers that seem to only want to judge you. Jeff O'Brien does not have this problem. This man can relate to the heartbreak of growing up and finding yourself at such a vulnerable age. His characters have a voice that is so natural and straight from the mouth of youth, that you would think Jeff is still in his teens relating stories of what it's like to be outcasted. The dialogue is never forced or too over the top teeny boppery (I made that word up...), and the way he conveys their issues is spot on.
In Big Boobenstein, O'Brien brings his natural ability to crawl inside the mind of an outcast and make you feel all the feels. Our story opens up in Dr. Kuntz's (yes...said exactly how you think) lab where he and his assistant are dutifully working on their new fresh corpse in hopes of bringing it back to life. You see the good Doctor, has other reanimated corpses he uses for various...tasks. However, the sexy little undead servants don't have much in the way of intelligence and perform best when given remedial tasks to carry out. With the help of the Mayor, Kuntz can reanimate all he wants as long as he provides Mayor Janice with a few choice specimens for her own sexual desires and under the condition that he never tries to reanimate a corpse to full brain capacity. Well, a mad scientist will be just that, and ignoring the agreement, has decided to attempt to reanimate the new arrival to full brain capacity.
Enter Adelaide De Carlo. A 19 year old young woman who is painfully devoted to her rocker douche boyfriend Johnny. Oh Johnny...Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, you're a class A dick. Johnny doesn't love Adelaide. He's a cheater, a liar, and a manipulator, and would rather look at the big chested, bimbos on his album poster than give Adelaide the undivided attention she deserves during their sexual time together. Sadly, Adelaide is completely ignorant to Johnny's disinterest and despite her insecurities still believes he loves her for her. That is until the day Johnny tells her he wishes her boobs were bigger. This statement immediately sends Adelaide into a downward spiral of self acceptance through alteration. Now that she knows what Johnny wants, Adelaide is DEAD set on giving it to him. Unlike Johnny, Ron, truly does love Adelaide just the way she is, but she is far to obsessed with rocker jerk to see past anything else. Ron's love for Adelaide never falters and is truly the definition of unconditional.
Here is where Dr. Kuntz comes in. Offering services to "perfect" the imperfections of insecure young women, Adelaide finds herself in his office scheduling an appointment to give Johnny the big perfect breasts he so badly desires. On her way home from the dr's, she runs into a homeless man whose wisdom and advice is lost on poor Adelaide. Even the man's talking hernia could not sway her decision to alter herself for a guy who could give two fucks about her. Yeah... I said talking hernia. Herman is an extension of the homeless man's self. Earlier in life, he acted very much like Johnny, disrespecting his wife, cheating, and being a "grade A asshole." After he lost everything, Herman shows up assumingly as a reminder to be better. Despite their warnings and compliments on Adelaide's body as it is, the poor girl has blinders on and Johnny is the only person she cares to make happy.
Proceeding with her plan for a new set of knockers, the operation is performed but does not go accordingly to plan. Adelaide wakes up in the office, with not just her old boobs, but now they have been hacked and stitched up. Her body rejected the implants so the operation was a botch. Feeling even worse than she did when she came in, Adelaide heads home where she is met with disgust by her family. Shunned and alone, Adelaide goes to find the one person she believes to love her. Yep. Johnny. No surprise here, he's shacked up with his album models and just to add insult to injury, proceeds to verbally assault Adelaide's new appearance leaving her heart broken and suicidal. With nothing left, she lunges off the bridge to her death....or at least that was the plan.
When Adelaide awakes, she is not greeted by angels and clouds, but instead by tiny trolls in cloaks who speak in rhyme. They give the impression they are friend and that they are here to help her destroy the evil Johnny. After she passes out, she awakes on Dr. Kuntz's examining table, not quite herself. With a pair of new boobs, that are busting out of her corset top, Adelaide discovers that she has been brought back to full brain capacity by the doctor, who couldn't be more happy with his creation....that is until he is unable to find the only person Adelaide wants to show her new assets off to. With a one track mind, Adelaide leaves a path of destruction in pursuit of her one and only love, Johnny. She kills the doctor, destroys his office, and continues to kill anyone who cannot tell her where her Johnny is. Despite being at full brain function, she is still very childlike and one track minded. Once she finds, what she's looking for, all Johnny can do is run. Run he does, right into the homeless man and his talking hernia. With the support and encouragement of the duo, Adelaide is forced to break through her blinders and stand up for herself. The tiny bridge trolls have her back as well along with her brother Bobby, who has been captured by the trolls and deemed the breaker of worlds...what the poor boy has to endure in order to open the divide between worlds is...well...it's cruel.
This isn't the longest great American Novel, but it certainly is one of the best told stories of self acceptance and what some people will do when they think they are in love. Adelaide is so blinded by her love for Johnny, you almost want to shake her and say, get the fuck over it girl! Half of what she says and does in the name of her misplaced love, is pathetic and obnoxious, but O'Brien does not paint that picture. You genuinely feel her pain and desperateness. I felt her insecurities and her desire to be loved. It was sad, poetic, beautiful. Ron's unconditional love for Adelaide is also something I would scoffed at (I'm not a romantic), but again O'Brien doesn't doll it up with candy hearts and chocolates; O'Brien's love is a gritty roller coaster of emotions and whether dead or alive love will eventually find it's way to Adelaide. I love every character in this book. I had a soft spot for the Doctor's nurses and even learned to love the Mayor. The ending is perfect and Adelaide finally finds she can be comfortable in her own skin.
Jeff O'Brien has become one of my favorite authors from the first book of his I read, Frankenstein Fairy. He has cinematic style of writing with an incredible ability to add empathy to every character. You can't help but to be right there in the plot when reading his work. I can't wait to pick up the other
In Big Boobenstein, O'Brien brings his natural ability to crawl inside the mind of an outcast and make you feel all the feels. Our story opens up in Dr. Kuntz's (yes...said exactly how you think) lab where he and his assistant are dutifully working on their new fresh corpse in hopes of bringing it back to life. You see the good Doctor, has other reanimated corpses he uses for various...tasks. However, the sexy little undead servants don't have much in the way of intelligence and perform best when given remedial tasks to carry out. With the help of the Mayor, Kuntz can reanimate all he wants as long as he provides Mayor Janice with a few choice specimens for her own sexual desires and under the condition that he never tries to reanimate a corpse to full brain capacity. Well, a mad scientist will be just that, and ignoring the agreement, has decided to attempt to reanimate the new arrival to full brain capacity.
Enter Adelaide De Carlo. A 19 year old young woman who is painfully devoted to her rocker douche boyfriend Johnny. Oh Johnny...Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, you're a class A dick. Johnny doesn't love Adelaide. He's a cheater, a liar, and a manipulator, and would rather look at the big chested, bimbos on his album poster than give Adelaide the undivided attention she deserves during their sexual time together. Sadly, Adelaide is completely ignorant to Johnny's disinterest and despite her insecurities still believes he loves her for her. That is until the day Johnny tells her he wishes her boobs were bigger. This statement immediately sends Adelaide into a downward spiral of self acceptance through alteration. Now that she knows what Johnny wants, Adelaide is DEAD set on giving it to him. Unlike Johnny, Ron, truly does love Adelaide just the way she is, but she is far to obsessed with rocker jerk to see past anything else. Ron's love for Adelaide never falters and is truly the definition of unconditional.
Here is where Dr. Kuntz comes in. Offering services to "perfect" the imperfections of insecure young women, Adelaide finds herself in his office scheduling an appointment to give Johnny the big perfect breasts he so badly desires. On her way home from the dr's, she runs into a homeless man whose wisdom and advice is lost on poor Adelaide. Even the man's talking hernia could not sway her decision to alter herself for a guy who could give two fucks about her. Yeah... I said talking hernia. Herman is an extension of the homeless man's self. Earlier in life, he acted very much like Johnny, disrespecting his wife, cheating, and being a "grade A asshole." After he lost everything, Herman shows up assumingly as a reminder to be better. Despite their warnings and compliments on Adelaide's body as it is, the poor girl has blinders on and Johnny is the only person she cares to make happy.
Proceeding with her plan for a new set of knockers, the operation is performed but does not go accordingly to plan. Adelaide wakes up in the office, with not just her old boobs, but now they have been hacked and stitched up. Her body rejected the implants so the operation was a botch. Feeling even worse than she did when she came in, Adelaide heads home where she is met with disgust by her family. Shunned and alone, Adelaide goes to find the one person she believes to love her. Yep. Johnny. No surprise here, he's shacked up with his album models and just to add insult to injury, proceeds to verbally assault Adelaide's new appearance leaving her heart broken and suicidal. With nothing left, she lunges off the bridge to her death....or at least that was the plan.
When Adelaide awakes, she is not greeted by angels and clouds, but instead by tiny trolls in cloaks who speak in rhyme. They give the impression they are friend and that they are here to help her destroy the evil Johnny. After she passes out, she awakes on Dr. Kuntz's examining table, not quite herself. With a pair of new boobs, that are busting out of her corset top, Adelaide discovers that she has been brought back to full brain capacity by the doctor, who couldn't be more happy with his creation....that is until he is unable to find the only person Adelaide wants to show her new assets off to. With a one track mind, Adelaide leaves a path of destruction in pursuit of her one and only love, Johnny. She kills the doctor, destroys his office, and continues to kill anyone who cannot tell her where her Johnny is. Despite being at full brain function, she is still very childlike and one track minded. Once she finds, what she's looking for, all Johnny can do is run. Run he does, right into the homeless man and his talking hernia. With the support and encouragement of the duo, Adelaide is forced to break through her blinders and stand up for herself. The tiny bridge trolls have her back as well along with her brother Bobby, who has been captured by the trolls and deemed the breaker of worlds...what the poor boy has to endure in order to open the divide between worlds is...well...it's cruel.
This isn't the longest great American Novel, but it certainly is one of the best told stories of self acceptance and what some people will do when they think they are in love. Adelaide is so blinded by her love for Johnny, you almost want to shake her and say, get the fuck over it girl! Half of what she says and does in the name of her misplaced love, is pathetic and obnoxious, but O'Brien does not paint that picture. You genuinely feel her pain and desperateness. I felt her insecurities and her desire to be loved. It was sad, poetic, beautiful. Ron's unconditional love for Adelaide is also something I would scoffed at (I'm not a romantic), but again O'Brien doesn't doll it up with candy hearts and chocolates; O'Brien's love is a gritty roller coaster of emotions and whether dead or alive love will eventually find it's way to Adelaide. I love every character in this book. I had a soft spot for the Doctor's nurses and even learned to love the Mayor. The ending is perfect and Adelaide finally finds she can be comfortable in her own skin.
Jeff O'Brien has become one of my favorite authors from the first book of his I read, Frankenstein Fairy. He has cinematic style of writing with an incredible ability to add empathy to every character. You can't help but to be right there in the plot when reading his work. I can't wait to pick up the other
October 7, 2014
How dare you, Jeff O'Brien?
How dare you take one of us, a bass player, and turn him into such a douche? Why, good sir?
In spite of that, this book is crazy good. A deranged plastic surgeon reanimating the corpses of once flat-chested girls and turning them into deliciously stacked babes. A group of rhyming trols. And a metal band.
There's nothing more one can want. Jeff O'Brien is the real deal, this book is amazingly funny and provocative, and I love this bald bastard despite his portrayal of the fine class of bass players.
How dare you take one of us, a bass player, and turn him into such a douche? Why, good sir?
In spite of that, this book is crazy good. A deranged plastic surgeon reanimating the corpses of once flat-chested girls and turning them into deliciously stacked babes. A group of rhyming trols. And a metal band.
There's nothing more one can want. Jeff O'Brien is the real deal, this book is amazingly funny and provocative, and I love this bald bastard despite his portrayal of the fine class of bass players.
August 26, 2014
The first couple chapters of the book, I was sure it was going to be a raunchy, campy, slapstick kind of ride, and it is. But once O'Brien really began to explore (who I would say is) the star of the show- Ad we'll call her- then something else happens. While it still carries that campiness, that character becomes real, becomes solid, and was also what made me really enjoy this book. Maybe I'm a sentimental douche, but I kinda felt for her, and the BS that some ladies have to deal with in life (although it's not just a female identity problem, but it definitely feels more prevalent in our culture.) So it made her real, and plus just the circumstances she dealt with struck a cord because, hell... That was my life in a way, only reflected in a fun house mirror. So points for relating.
So right, it's a completely campy, cheese-fest. A lot of fun if you like those things, and I do. People be dying in it, people be doing it, people being dying and doing it. It's got it's share of grossness and hilarity, definitely for people who enjoy horror comedy, which if you haven't figured it out by the title, this totally is. There's more to it than that, but if you dig horror flicks from the 80's and Troma, then I imagine your inner crude teenager self will enjoy all the floppy jalopy dead lady bewbs.
I don't know why it took me so long to get around to it, it's been sitting on my shelf with some other O'Brien books, but once opened it was easily devoured. Here's what I like about Jeff's presentation- He writes to entertain, he has no shame, and he can put sentences together to form an overall thing called a story. He uses words all the way through, and he's pretty good at it. 4 Stars easy!
So right, it's a completely campy, cheese-fest. A lot of fun if you like those things, and I do. People be dying in it, people be doing it, people being dying and doing it. It's got it's share of grossness and hilarity, definitely for people who enjoy horror comedy, which if you haven't figured it out by the title, this totally is. There's more to it than that, but if you dig horror flicks from the 80's and Troma, then I imagine your inner crude teenager self will enjoy all the floppy jalopy dead lady bewbs.
I don't know why it took me so long to get around to it, it's been sitting on my shelf with some other O'Brien books, but once opened it was easily devoured. Here's what I like about Jeff's presentation- He writes to entertain, he has no shame, and he can put sentences together to form an overall thing called a story. He uses words all the way through, and he's pretty good at it. 4 Stars easy!
June 19, 2024
4.5/5 (rounded up for GoodReads)
I really, really enjoyed this read. I was looking for something fun, sexy and lighthearted and I certainly found it. Not only is this read incredibly entertaining, it’s also surprisingly wholesome. It reads very cinematically, I’d love to see this as a movie honestly. The characters are very well developed, their storylines deep and interesting. I really didn’t know what to expect going in besides a Frankenstein lady with big tits but I was rewarded with much much more.
I laughed and I laughed, I grimaced and I cheered on now one of my favourite fictional characters next to Talia which is a pretty big deal in my books. I can’t wait to read book two and honestly, I can’t wait to check out more by O’Brien. This is heavily slept on and I can’t recommend it enough. It reminds me (in a way) of Return of the Living Dead. A little corny, a little comical but an absolute classic banger. I’ve got my eye on you Jeff, this was some seriously killer stuff.
I really, really enjoyed this read. I was looking for something fun, sexy and lighthearted and I certainly found it. Not only is this read incredibly entertaining, it’s also surprisingly wholesome. It reads very cinematically, I’d love to see this as a movie honestly. The characters are very well developed, their storylines deep and interesting. I really didn’t know what to expect going in besides a Frankenstein lady with big tits but I was rewarded with much much more.
I laughed and I laughed, I grimaced and I cheered on now one of my favourite fictional characters next to Talia which is a pretty big deal in my books. I can’t wait to read book two and honestly, I can’t wait to check out more by O’Brien. This is heavily slept on and I can’t recommend it enough. It reminds me (in a way) of Return of the Living Dead. A little corny, a little comical but an absolute classic banger. I’ve got my eye on you Jeff, this was some seriously killer stuff.
October 13, 2016
Please bear in mind that this is a review for the 4 current BigBoobenstein books.
I read all of these books in the last 2 days. I couldn't stop reading them. Every break I had, while eating lunch (not always the best time to read some weirder fiction), at home while my wife was busy studying I was tearing through these.
The characters are fun. You fall in love with the heroes and heroines and want to set fire to the villains, or kick them in the nut-sack/otters-pocket (that's a British-ish term for vagina).
In a previous review of one of Jeff O'Brien's books (Very True Stories), I stated that if he ever became a superhero I'd put my underwear on the outside and side-kick for him. This has not changed except now I'm trying to think of a good side-kick name...
I cannot recommend these books enough. Think of them as B-Movie horror with a heart, and massive perfect boobs.
I read all of these books in the last 2 days. I couldn't stop reading them. Every break I had, while eating lunch (not always the best time to read some weirder fiction), at home while my wife was busy studying I was tearing through these.
The characters are fun. You fall in love with the heroes and heroines and want to set fire to the villains, or kick them in the nut-sack/otters-pocket (that's a British-ish term for vagina).
In a previous review of one of Jeff O'Brien's books (Very True Stories), I stated that if he ever became a superhero I'd put my underwear on the outside and side-kick for him. This has not changed except now I'm trying to think of a good side-kick name...
I cannot recommend these books enough. Think of them as B-Movie horror with a heart, and massive perfect boobs.
August 21, 2013
Johnny's a real arse! But for some reason Adelaide loves him and will do anything to please him. So she gets a botched boob job and ends up killing herself. Only to be brought back to life with fantastic boobs.
The story line is simple but enjoyable.
Do you like my boobs?
The story line is simple but enjoyable.
Do you like my boobs?
January 24, 2019
A hit but not a home-run.
An extended multi-chapter epilogue that was not earned and an annoying use of references (with explanation that they are references, leaving nothing to the imagination.) keeps the book from achieving the greatness it could have. The story and characters are all quite good.
What I mean about the epilogue not being earned, (the whole section after the climax, not just the chapter named epilogue,) is that characters that were terribly undeveloped are treated as if they were not just to tie up loose threads rather than leaving em open for a sequel.
What I mean about references with explanations is how at several points in the book the writer describes something that people could read as a reference or not if they don’t catch it, but then follows it up with “just like x in movie x.”
An extended multi-chapter epilogue that was not earned and an annoying use of references (with explanation that they are references, leaving nothing to the imagination.) keeps the book from achieving the greatness it could have. The story and characters are all quite good.
What I mean about the epilogue not being earned, (the whole section after the climax, not just the chapter named epilogue,) is that characters that were terribly undeveloped are treated as if they were not just to tie up loose threads rather than leaving em open for a sequel.
What I mean about references with explanations is how at several points in the book the writer describes something that people could read as a reference or not if they don’t catch it, but then follows it up with “just like x in movie x.”
February 22, 2019
The author tried to fornicate with my late father’s ashes, which REALLY upset my mom. I take that personally, so I had to knock him a star. Otherwise, this was a great book. Highly recommended for summer reading - you won’t want to leave your hammock, beach towel, campsite - whatever - until you’re done.
October 27, 2021
Re-animated corpses with big boobs.
3.5 stars out of 5, I was expecting to read some b-movie style comedy horror novel, but it was more a bizarro style than comedy, it was still good, just not what I expected.
This version has a different ending to the original, and it felt like something was missing, I tried to find the original ending, just the compare them but I had no luck.
now onto the Groom of BigBoobenstein.
3.5 stars out of 5, I was expecting to read some b-movie style comedy horror novel, but it was more a bizarro style than comedy, it was still good, just not what I expected.
This version has a different ending to the original, and it felt like something was missing, I tried to find the original ending, just the compare them but I had no luck.
now onto the Groom of BigBoobenstein.
September 5, 2017
I'm pretty proud that I'm the 69th person to rate this. Funny, sexy, gross and oddly inspiring!
September 15, 2023
Silly, fun, and over the top. Bizarro fiction has never been more readable.
Don't let the title fool you. At its core, this novel is about loving who you are and accepting yourself as more than what appears in the mirror. Highly recommend.
Don't let the title fool you. At its core, this novel is about loving who you are and accepting yourself as more than what appears in the mirror. Highly recommend.
January 9, 2016
Despite the bizarro premise and all the wacky stuff that happens this book has a very nice social commentary about women and how poorly some men treat them. Sure there's and undead goth chick with perfect (post-mortem) boobs, trolls, a crazy voodo pimp and other characters but the main story is about how shitty mister "rock star"Johnny treats his girlfriend Adelaide, how she reacts and Johnny's ultimate fate.
This was a quick, fun read that I really enjoyed. In fact it was the second Jeff O'Brien book I read this week (The Splatter House Rules was the other). There are all kinds of great characters in this book (as I mentioned before) and I felt like the author was able to do some pretty good characterization despite the relatively low page count; that carries through in the other book of his I read as well.
The Breaker of Worlds was hilarious, I totally didn't see him coming. He was one of many fun surprises which I don't want to spoil, suffice to say it is well worth your time to read this book as long as you aren't bothered by necrophilia. Wait, is it still necrophilia if the person is undead instead of dead?
This was a quick, fun read that I really enjoyed. In fact it was the second Jeff O'Brien book I read this week (The Splatter House Rules was the other). There are all kinds of great characters in this book (as I mentioned before) and I felt like the author was able to do some pretty good characterization despite the relatively low page count; that carries through in the other book of his I read as well.
The Breaker of Worlds was hilarious, I totally didn't see him coming. He was one of many fun surprises which I don't want to spoil, suffice to say it is well worth your time to read this book as long as you aren't bothered by necrophilia. Wait, is it still necrophilia if the person is undead instead of dead?
February 23, 2015
If you happen to enjoy classic b-rate horror movies there's a lot to like here. This is weird fiction at its best and while there is a serious message throughout O'Brien's book his sense of humor is infectious and that's what makes this book so good. He wants you to laugh and he makes it seem so easy. When it comes down to it Boobenstein is pure weird fiction but it's not so weird that it alienates you and makes you feel as if you've just entered the Twilight Zone.
Despite what you may have heard O'Brien knows how to craft a story and you begin to actually cheer on Adelaide once she comes back to life. While Jeff's a talented writer it's the characters who are the the driving force of this book. A shit spitting hernia, a young man who has the ability to break worlds with his jizz and rhyming trolls. This is exactly why I enjoy weird fiction so much.
Despite what you may have heard O'Brien knows how to craft a story and you begin to actually cheer on Adelaide once she comes back to life. While Jeff's a talented writer it's the characters who are the the driving force of this book. A shit spitting hernia, a young man who has the ability to break worlds with his jizz and rhyming trolls. This is exactly why I enjoy weird fiction so much.
November 13, 2015
Oh my where to start. Oh yes first off if you haven't already read this awemazingly fantastical piece of writing, what in the name of the Gods are you waiting for? Jeff is a knockout with a perfect combo of horror, comedy, and even love and heart. I fell in love with the character from the very start and honest could not put this down. I laughed out loud several times and also sat in anticipation as the story unfolded. I for one can't wait to dive further, face first into this boobtastic series! Don't hesitate, do yourself a kindly favor and read this, because trust me you, like me, will not be able to stop!
May 30, 2014
Jeff O'Brien is a massively talented horror/comedy writer. Imagine a PSA on self-acceptance as produced by TROMA, and you will get an indication of what to expect with BIGBOOBENSTEIN. It's not just a read, it is an experience. If you are a fan of the humorous and bizarre, this should sit high on your gotta get list. So go get it...
February 11, 2015
I loved how fun and campy the writing in this is, but I was really impressed by how engaging the story is. I expected more of a skeleton story around which to frame the fun and camp, but I got much more than that. It really is a frolic, but that is inseparable from an actual good storyline. Best of both worlds really, and a great book.
November 24, 2015
Extremely entertaining! O Brien's been on my TBR but now that I have been introduced I'm going to read more! It was campy and hysterical and gross at the same, my favorite combination! The main character is very relatable. This is bizarro done well!
October 13, 2017
A wild and hilariously crude romp through the depths of a twisted teenage boy's fantasy, tempered by an actual love and care for real people, that's still gloriously gory and disgusting. It's everything you'd like to think your teenage boy should want to know about women and life, and yet, it still makes you want to slap him for being puerile. You have everything you don't want your kid to be obsessed with; boobs, whores, rock'n'roll, sex, depravity in our leadership, cussing, gross-outs, and masturbation. And then you have all the things you hope they figure out from watching you, like loving yourself for who you are, self-respect, real love, and learning from one's mistakes. How this author manages to make these mangled, gory pieces fit together into one filthy, hilarious puddle of a book, I don't know, but he did. And I laughed my ass off while I enjoyed reading it. Go trolls!
February 22, 2019
I’m shaking with rage right now—Jeff O’Brian burst into my room, threw this book at me and called me a nerd, and rambled about my mom getting the best looking nutsack this side of the equator. Now the trailer is rocking and I can’t stop crying, but hot damn can this man create elaborate and gripping characterizations. His words stick like his cigar ash on the shag carpet in the hallway and I would recommend it to fans of shot on camcorder z-movies. Given the circumstance, I would give it five stars but he just yelled for me to get a towel so the bastard gets four.
February 22, 2019
I’m not into goth or emo chicks, or even big boobs, but I do likes me some Frank Henenlotter, whose influence is felt strongly in Bigboobenstein. An exciting blend of parody, heart, and trash influence. Don’t get fooled by other reviews from vendetta seeking squabblegobs out for attention because their lives are excruciatingly pathetic. Get some Bigboobenstein in your life!
September 20, 2020
ANTHROPOMORPHIC
SHIT-DROOLING
HERNIAS
LITERALLY no idea what this means, but i fucking love everything about it.
5 stars
SHIT-DROOLING
HERNIAS
LITERALLY no idea what this means, but i fucking love everything about it.
5 stars
January 10, 2019
It was about as insane as the title suggests. Fun read.
November 3, 2023
I feel like this book was written just for me as an ode to all the shitty boyfriends I had growing up. 5 stars!
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