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After Italy: A Family Memoir of Arranged Marriage
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Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews
May 7, 2024
Monardo explores her family’s history of arranged marriages and how that impacted her life and history.
I enjoyed all the family history and learning about her grandmother and mother’s stories.
The author interspersed it with her own story and how as she delved into the past some unsavory truths were finally revealed.
I don’t know if the author was looking for a reckoning or just some insight, but the book is a fascinating look at one family’s lineage and history.
Thanks to Books Forward for the advance copy.
I enjoyed all the family history and learning about her grandmother and mother’s stories.
The author interspersed it with her own story and how as she delved into the past some unsavory truths were finally revealed.
I don’t know if the author was looking for a reckoning or just some insight, but the book is a fascinating look at one family’s lineage and history.
Thanks to Books Forward for the advance copy.
May 18, 2025
My entire book club loved this memoir, and we're NEVER unanimous on a book. Literally never. It's a miracle of good writing, compelling narrative, and universal themes of immigration and family.
May 10, 2024
I love a memoir and especially love reading about arranged marriages in romance troupe stories so I was naturally drawn into reading Anna’s story in After Italy. This is the story of Anna’s family tree with specifically, her grandmother and her mother’s arranged marriages. The story is a well written memoir about the author’s history of marriages and love relationships. The author also talks about her own journey as a single mother with her son and how her parents relationships shaped her views on marriage and life in general. In all, an excellent read for memoir loving people!
November 3, 2024
I really enjoyed reading the sections on the author's mother and grandmother and the details of their lives in Italy and Braddock. I did not enjoy the long middle section about the author's own romantic relationships and therapy. I understand that perhaps she is drawing a contrast between the relationships of her relatives and her own relationships, but it just was not as enjoyable for me as a reader.
October 4, 2025
So wanted to give this 4 stars but just can't. 3.5 stars is nearly exactly correct.
The title is not actually accurate. With non-fiction, especially memoirs, I find that rather puzzling. It in some fraction WAS about ONE arranged marriage, her mother's and father's. But not about arranged marriage (even in Italy) generally at all. ONE arranged marriage and not hers.
Most of the print was about her grandmother, mother and herself. With a 75% proportion about herself to be accurate. And her therapy and lack of committments? But it is staged and choreographed as a proponent or at least "a result" in aftermath of her parents' marriage. Or even their general lives priorities that she observed or had witness to understand. Which, I do think, she failed to grasp in vast depth at all. It still is about trust or some other abstract to Anna Monardo. Is this from her own sources as much as her parents? So many real, real psychological slants quite beyond the ethnic or motivations for economics here? Awfully, awfully hard for me to understand when she had so many choices, experiences, language accesses, travel (back and forth to Italy and their town throughout her youth etc.)- and stil believes (and moreso feels /whines) that she was "stymied" by the examples she had?
I won't go long- but you need to understand how I thought this short book would reflect some of my own life's observations and experiences. Mine had MORE arranged marriages and much more economic and familial "non-choice" from the get-go. Anna didn't even have individual travel or driving or higher schooling restrictions with her "oppressed" background. Can you say from where I sit and have for 77 years- GET OVER IT. I had to fight to get a driver's license with my 2 kids in the back seat and had to pay for Sears Drivers' School to teach me too. NO help, no accordance to most any ambitious route I would as a female take. Same for travel, higher education etc. And also kept birth family all close (yes, never next store or down the block though) and actually communicated well with them. Hero me. It is very hard for me as a 1st generation Sicilian and/or German daughter to understand her travails here. Call me hard. I am not- just curious to how she became so guarded and mealy/ wishy-washy. Never knew any Italian or Irish or Polish either daughter of such family histories to be SO obtuse to the "upsides" as this author.
Well, if you know little about village "you can't do or be that" stigma or what former habits of such places were or are- you may enjoy this one more than I did. The 4th star would have had to include more of her mother's voice. Overall, this one just came out SUPER SAD. They all don't end this way. Arranged or self-picked or star crossed "in love" marriages - all of them have various successes or not. This was a good example of only one. In every arranged marriage I have observed- the structure itself was immensely core to vast strength and purposes. And my parents, who did not have that but a war time love match with a "non-Catholica"? That was a 50 plus year continual fight match with him ending up the better Catholic. So you never know.
So know before you pick this one, it is very much all about Anna memoir. And her father was a doctor. Still, the biggest clue you should get from this one is that in poverty and village life- it is ALL ABOUT THE MONEY- to begin with. Catherine's parents were obtuse- none of my ancestors were. People now- the vast majority who read this know nothing about dowries or real poverty either. The form of the prose flow and language is ok but organized in a rather first effort type of chronological or cognition order. Photos were excellent and I did wish there were more.
The title is not actually accurate. With non-fiction, especially memoirs, I find that rather puzzling. It in some fraction WAS about ONE arranged marriage, her mother's and father's. But not about arranged marriage (even in Italy) generally at all. ONE arranged marriage and not hers.
Most of the print was about her grandmother, mother and herself. With a 75% proportion about herself to be accurate. And her therapy and lack of committments? But it is staged and choreographed as a proponent or at least "a result" in aftermath of her parents' marriage. Or even their general lives priorities that she observed or had witness to understand. Which, I do think, she failed to grasp in vast depth at all. It still is about trust or some other abstract to Anna Monardo. Is this from her own sources as much as her parents? So many real, real psychological slants quite beyond the ethnic or motivations for economics here? Awfully, awfully hard for me to understand when she had so many choices, experiences, language accesses, travel (back and forth to Italy and their town throughout her youth etc.)- and stil believes (and moreso feels /whines) that she was "stymied" by the examples she had?
I won't go long- but you need to understand how I thought this short book would reflect some of my own life's observations and experiences. Mine had MORE arranged marriages and much more economic and familial "non-choice" from the get-go. Anna didn't even have individual travel or driving or higher schooling restrictions with her "oppressed" background. Can you say from where I sit and have for 77 years- GET OVER IT. I had to fight to get a driver's license with my 2 kids in the back seat and had to pay for Sears Drivers' School to teach me too. NO help, no accordance to most any ambitious route I would as a female take. Same for travel, higher education etc. And also kept birth family all close (yes, never next store or down the block though) and actually communicated well with them. Hero me. It is very hard for me as a 1st generation Sicilian and/or German daughter to understand her travails here. Call me hard. I am not- just curious to how she became so guarded and mealy/ wishy-washy. Never knew any Italian or Irish or Polish either daughter of such family histories to be SO obtuse to the "upsides" as this author.
Well, if you know little about village "you can't do or be that" stigma or what former habits of such places were or are- you may enjoy this one more than I did. The 4th star would have had to include more of her mother's voice. Overall, this one just came out SUPER SAD. They all don't end this way. Arranged or self-picked or star crossed "in love" marriages - all of them have various successes or not. This was a good example of only one. In every arranged marriage I have observed- the structure itself was immensely core to vast strength and purposes. And my parents, who did not have that but a war time love match with a "non-Catholica"? That was a 50 plus year continual fight match with him ending up the better Catholic. So you never know.
So know before you pick this one, it is very much all about Anna memoir. And her father was a doctor. Still, the biggest clue you should get from this one is that in poverty and village life- it is ALL ABOUT THE MONEY- to begin with. Catherine's parents were obtuse- none of my ancestors were. People now- the vast majority who read this know nothing about dowries or real poverty either. The form of the prose flow and language is ok but organized in a rather first effort type of chronological or cognition order. Photos were excellent and I did wish there were more.
May 24, 2024
Full review at: https://readingourshelves.wordpress.c...
The author first charts the history of her maternal grandparents’ marriage. They were from the same village in Italy, and they were married when the bride was just shy of 15 and the groom was 28 years old. They were able to make the journey to America, and settled outside of Pittsburgh, where the husband co-owned a bar with his brother. The couple lived above the bar.
They only had one child, a daughter, who had heart troubles from childhood. Her parents were strict, Old World types who didn’t want her dating American boys… so they eventually took a trip back to Italy and arranged for her to marry a doctor from their home village. This time, the bride was 18 and the groom was 28.
He also had many younger brothers and sisters to care for, as his own dad had passed away. His family saw America as a promised land where he could make a ton of money to send home to support the family there. But, he had an uphill battle in both learning English, and going through a residency in the States that would allow him to get his medical license here. After his move to America, the couple actually spent the first five years of their marriage separated. The wife still lived above the bar with her parents.
Eventually, they do have two kids and buy a home together. The eldest is the author, Anna. Growing up in the U.S., and coming of age in the 60s and 70s, she is determined to marry for love, and not have a relationship like the one her parents had.
She breaks the mold for women in her family in many ways: moving to New York City, going to grad school, writing a novel. But – while she does have several boyfriends over the years – the love and marriage thing eludes her for a long time. (Is it because she had no role models of how that was supposed to work?)
I won’t give away where Anna herself ends up. But I will say that she continues to learn more about her parents’ and grandparents’ relationships even after they are gone! (Thanks to finding her mom’s diary.) This is one of those instances when, even though she thought she knew the story, there was more to it than she had known before. And so, her thoughts on this particular aspect of her life continue to evolve, even as she is in her fifties.
I found one point she makes near the end pretty interesting. She mentioned a few times how she felt like her mom’s and grandma’s lives would be different if they weren’t held back, and she blames this on her family having a patriarchal world view. But, in the end, she feels like this world view hurt her dad and grandpa, as well. All four of these ancestors were locked into marriages they didn’t choose themselves, and the men were expected to carry all the financial burdens (for both their wives, and the daughters they both had). Her views were very forgiving of these men, but overall she could see that they were all chained by the same (broken) system.
This was an interesting and quick read for me, but not always “easy” in an emotional sense. (Content Warning: domestic abuse.)
The author first charts the history of her maternal grandparents’ marriage. They were from the same village in Italy, and they were married when the bride was just shy of 15 and the groom was 28 years old. They were able to make the journey to America, and settled outside of Pittsburgh, where the husband co-owned a bar with his brother. The couple lived above the bar.
They only had one child, a daughter, who had heart troubles from childhood. Her parents were strict, Old World types who didn’t want her dating American boys… so they eventually took a trip back to Italy and arranged for her to marry a doctor from their home village. This time, the bride was 18 and the groom was 28.
He also had many younger brothers and sisters to care for, as his own dad had passed away. His family saw America as a promised land where he could make a ton of money to send home to support the family there. But, he had an uphill battle in both learning English, and going through a residency in the States that would allow him to get his medical license here. After his move to America, the couple actually spent the first five years of their marriage separated. The wife still lived above the bar with her parents.
Eventually, they do have two kids and buy a home together. The eldest is the author, Anna. Growing up in the U.S., and coming of age in the 60s and 70s, she is determined to marry for love, and not have a relationship like the one her parents had.
She breaks the mold for women in her family in many ways: moving to New York City, going to grad school, writing a novel. But – while she does have several boyfriends over the years – the love and marriage thing eludes her for a long time. (Is it because she had no role models of how that was supposed to work?)
I won’t give away where Anna herself ends up. But I will say that she continues to learn more about her parents’ and grandparents’ relationships even after they are gone! (Thanks to finding her mom’s diary.) This is one of those instances when, even though she thought she knew the story, there was more to it than she had known before. And so, her thoughts on this particular aspect of her life continue to evolve, even as she is in her fifties.
I found one point she makes near the end pretty interesting. She mentioned a few times how she felt like her mom’s and grandma’s lives would be different if they weren’t held back, and she blames this on her family having a patriarchal world view. But, in the end, she feels like this world view hurt her dad and grandpa, as well. All four of these ancestors were locked into marriages they didn’t choose themselves, and the men were expected to carry all the financial burdens (for both their wives, and the daughters they both had). Her views were very forgiving of these men, but overall she could see that they were all chained by the same (broken) system.
This was an interesting and quick read for me, but not always “easy” in an emotional sense. (Content Warning: domestic abuse.)
May 11, 2024
I had the opportunity to read an ARC copy of this book through @booksforwardpr and am glad I get the chance to share my thoughts with you in advance of it's pubdate! After Italy is the story of marriages across three generations. Starting from a marriage brokered to facilitate immigration from Southern Italy to Braddock, PA, a steel town outside of Pittsburgh, before and immediately after WWII, this memoir explores the multigenerational impact of arranged marriage.
Monardo makes many connections and parallels between her own marriage and that of her parents, despite one being arranged. In phenomenal detail the author tracks her family history, including what was like in their part of Italy prior to her family's immigration to the US. The impacts of fascism and world events that took place during the first half of the 20th century had a lasting effect on Monardo's family, and eventually on her own life choices and decisions, despite being so far removed from the challenges her ancestors faced.
The author makes great use of poetic and literary devices such as metaphor, analogy and foreshadowing which adds quite a bit to the story telling. That being said, I did have a hard time getting into the book. I found the beginning dragged quite a bit, but I stuck with it and the first note I made was actually about 40% of the way in where I found that the writing style changed a bit and the author seemed to write with some real joy. I wonder if it was when she started getting into her own adulthood and personal story that the writing changed from a historical and biographical text to a personal narrative and memoir. The second half of the book was much more interesting, emotional, and well written (especially with the literary devices I described above) in comparison to the beginning half.
The adoption portion of the story was by far my favourite (unsurprisingly as this is a sub-genre of memoirs I really enjoy) and I loved that the author was able to step outside of the constraints her family (and her own personal barriers and expectations) and follow the life journey that made the most sense for her, despite coming from a very traditional Italian family. Overall it was a good book, and I would recommend it, but not to anyone who gives up on memoirs that drag in the beginning (a bad habit I have myself...) because it gets so much better later on. Thanks to Simone at #booksforwardpr for sending me a copy of this memoir!
Monardo makes many connections and parallels between her own marriage and that of her parents, despite one being arranged. In phenomenal detail the author tracks her family history, including what was like in their part of Italy prior to her family's immigration to the US. The impacts of fascism and world events that took place during the first half of the 20th century had a lasting effect on Monardo's family, and eventually on her own life choices and decisions, despite being so far removed from the challenges her ancestors faced.
The author makes great use of poetic and literary devices such as metaphor, analogy and foreshadowing which adds quite a bit to the story telling. That being said, I did have a hard time getting into the book. I found the beginning dragged quite a bit, but I stuck with it and the first note I made was actually about 40% of the way in where I found that the writing style changed a bit and the author seemed to write with some real joy. I wonder if it was when she started getting into her own adulthood and personal story that the writing changed from a historical and biographical text to a personal narrative and memoir. The second half of the book was much more interesting, emotional, and well written (especially with the literary devices I described above) in comparison to the beginning half.
The adoption portion of the story was by far my favourite (unsurprisingly as this is a sub-genre of memoirs I really enjoy) and I loved that the author was able to step outside of the constraints her family (and her own personal barriers and expectations) and follow the life journey that made the most sense for her, despite coming from a very traditional Italian family. Overall it was a good book, and I would recommend it, but not to anyone who gives up on memoirs that drag in the beginning (a bad habit I have myself...) because it gets so much better later on. Thanks to Simone at #booksforwardpr for sending me a copy of this memoir!
August 3, 2024
After Italy A Family Memoir of Arranged Marriage is shift from Anna Monardo’s earlier novels. Focused on the author’s own family and filled with all the attention to detail that marked her earlier books, Monardo takes us through a multi -generational story of Southern Italians’ migration to the United States starting with her maternal grandfather to her own father’s arrival after WWII. By centering on the emotions attending the specifics of her story-- the bargains made, the expectations met and dashed--it should be easy for the many Americans whose family came from elsewhere, to superimpose their own immigrant histories onto hers.
From the standpoint of her own background, Monardo is unsparing in how she describes her reactions to the arranged marriages of past generations, the poverty of village life, the risks her grandparents and father took in trying to set up a lives in a new country ---and her inability to completely understand all of it. It’s enormously rewarding to read.
From the standpoint of her own background, Monardo is unsparing in how she describes her reactions to the arranged marriages of past generations, the poverty of village life, the risks her grandparents and father took in trying to set up a lives in a new country ---and her inability to completely understand all of it. It’s enormously rewarding to read.
September 21, 2024
I had heard this author speak online about this book via Pittsburgh Arts and Lectures' Made Local Series. Aside from the interesting arranged marriage angle, my interest was piqued as part of the story takes place in Braddock, PA which is part of my genealogical research. I enjoyed the part of the story about the grandparents and parents, but less about the author herself, which is very detailed. That said, I do admire her research into her family history.
I wish that the book had included a family tree, and maybe maps.
"Each ethnic group had its own Catholic church: St. Brendan's and St. Thomas for the Irish; St. Joseph's for the Germans; St. Michael's for the Slovaks; St. Isidore's for the Lithuanians; and St. Mary of Mt. Carmel, the Italian church. . ." (28)
I wish that the book had included a family tree, and maybe maps.
"Each ethnic group had its own Catholic church: St. Brendan's and St. Thomas for the Irish; St. Joseph's for the Germans; St. Michael's for the Slovaks; St. Isidore's for the Lithuanians; and St. Mary of Mt. Carmel, the Italian church. . ." (28)
August 14, 2024
After Italy is a family memoir of arranged marriages, with the author focusing on how these arranged marriages have impacted her life and history. The author discusses her mother and grandmother’s arranged marriages, unveiling the past and several truths that were quite eye opening for her. I have not read any books like this but I found it to be very interesting and fascinating. I like reading about other people’s lives and histories, there are so many stories we don’t know!
June 24, 2024
After Italy is a compelling book about three generations of women, who are linked in profound and fascinating ways. The loves and losses Monardo writes about are particular to her family and yet in her masterful story-telling, she creates a saga that every reader can relate to. Anna Monardo deftly moves back and forth between Italy and America, creating a tapestry of longing and resilience.
July 26, 2024
Writing with wit, lyricism, and a discerning eye, Monardo goes deep inside the origin story of her immigrant family--and her own life. Her explorations lead to one revelation after another in a story arc that seems both unique and universal. At the heart of the book is the question of duty: What do we owe our forebears, and, just as importantly, what do we owe ourselves?
August 3, 2024
In this beautifully written and compelling memoir of three generations of her Italian family, Anna Monardo recalls the memories of her childhood, and those of her parents and grandparents. Seeking the truth while learning about these relationships is complex and complicated. This search for identity leads to learning what creates a family and it's legacy. Well worth reading!
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July 20, 2024A compassionate and completely human look at family relationships and their complexities from one perspective. Anna Monardo is highly insightful and hopeful in her telling.
September 23, 2024
Among the best memoirs I've read in years, simultaneously a künstlerroman and multi-generational meditation. Proceed directly from the Neapolitan Quartet to AFTER ITALY.
February 17, 2025
Beautiful book.
Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews