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Coming Out to Play
The first openly gay professional athlete in North America tells the story of his landmark decision to come out of the closet and how he changed the playing field of professional sports forever.
“Rogers made history.” — Sports Illustrated
Robbie Rogers knows better than most that keeping secrets can crush you. But for much of his life Robbie lived in paralyzing fear that sharing his big secret would cost him the love of his family and his career as a professional soccer player. So he never told anyone what was destroying his soul, both on and off the field.
While the world around Robbie was changing with breathtaking speed, he knew that for a gay man playing a professional team sport it might as well be 1958. He could be a professional soccer player. Or he could be an out gay man. He couldn’t do both.
Then last year, at the age of twenty-five and after nearly stepping away from a brilliant career—one that included an NCAA Championship, winning the MLS Cup, and competing in the Olympics—he chose to tell the truth. But instead of facing the rejection he feared, he was embraced—by his family, by his teammates, and his fans.
In Coming Out to Play, Robbie takes readers on his incredible journey from terrified teenager to a trailblazing out and proud professional soccer player for the L.A. Galaxy, who has embraced his new identity as a role model and champion for those still struggling with the secrets that keep them from living their dreams.
“Rogers made history.” — Sports Illustrated
Robbie Rogers knows better than most that keeping secrets can crush you. But for much of his life Robbie lived in paralyzing fear that sharing his big secret would cost him the love of his family and his career as a professional soccer player. So he never told anyone what was destroying his soul, both on and off the field.
While the world around Robbie was changing with breathtaking speed, he knew that for a gay man playing a professional team sport it might as well be 1958. He could be a professional soccer player. Or he could be an out gay man. He couldn’t do both.
Then last year, at the age of twenty-five and after nearly stepping away from a brilliant career—one that included an NCAA Championship, winning the MLS Cup, and competing in the Olympics—he chose to tell the truth. But instead of facing the rejection he feared, he was embraced—by his family, by his teammates, and his fans.
In Coming Out to Play, Robbie takes readers on his incredible journey from terrified teenager to a trailblazing out and proud professional soccer player for the L.A. Galaxy, who has embraced his new identity as a role model and champion for those still struggling with the secrets that keep them from living their dreams.
240 pages, Paperback
First published November 25, 2014
21 people are currently reading
372 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 82 reviews
November 29, 2014
There's a point toward the end of Robbie Rogers' new memoir, Coming Out to Play, when he recounts the first words he said to former NBA player Jason Collins, who had just come out of the closet. "The first thing I said after he introduced himself was, 'Congratulations, but it feels a little weird to congratulate you for being honest.'"
Rogers deserves congratulations for the same reason. Coming Out to Play is an honest, often emotional account of his struggle to accept himself and his sexuality, and reconcile it with what he believes will be the reactions of his ardently Catholic family, his professional soccer teammates, and the world. It is a book about how hard it is to keep your true self hidden from everyone around you, and how that pressure dampens your ability to enjoy even the things you love the most.
Since I don't really follow soccer except for the madness around the World Cup, I'll admit I hadn't ever heard of Robbie Rogers until the spring of 2013, when I heard that he had announced he was gay at the same time he was retiring from professional soccer. When shortly thereafter he decided to play again, this time for the LA Galaxy, he became the first openly gay male athlete to play a game in a major professional team sport in North America. And although it took him a long time to come to terms with who he is, since that point he has embraced his opportunity to be a role model, especially for young people, to demonstrate that your sexuality doesn't define you, and it shouldn't stop you from doing what you love.
"...I don't represent the gay community and I'm not giving anyone a voice other than myself. If anything, I like to think that I'm speaking for myself and for all people who feel like they've been discriminated against. That's a role I'm happy to embrace."
Although our lives are vastly different, Rogers' story definitely hit home for me in a number of ways. I, too, spent a long time trying to figure out a way not to be gay, and once I realized that was an impossible task, I worried about how my family and friends would react. And while it probably wasn't a shock to most people when I eventually told them, it was a relief to be completely honest instead of hiding a part of my life, worrying about which pronouns to use, and not being able to enjoy my life as I was experiencing it.
I thought this was a really well-written and engrossing book. Rogers is a very complex person with many interests far beyond sports. He isn't afraid to portray himself or his actions as unsympathetic at times, and he doesn't excuse certain things he did. You can almost feel how tightly wound he was through most of his life, and how finally revealing his true self to his family was tremendously freeing and cathartic, and I'm not ashamed to admit, it (unsurprisingly) made me a little emotional.
I hope that this book makes its way into the hands of those who need it most. Rogers may not have set out to be a role model, but he definitely is one, and we are fortunate that he is willing to share his journey and his feelings with us. Hopefully this book will change more than one mind, and make a difference in more than one life.
Find all of my reviews and more at http://itseithersadnessoreuphoria.blo....
Rogers deserves congratulations for the same reason. Coming Out to Play is an honest, often emotional account of his struggle to accept himself and his sexuality, and reconcile it with what he believes will be the reactions of his ardently Catholic family, his professional soccer teammates, and the world. It is a book about how hard it is to keep your true self hidden from everyone around you, and how that pressure dampens your ability to enjoy even the things you love the most.
Since I don't really follow soccer except for the madness around the World Cup, I'll admit I hadn't ever heard of Robbie Rogers until the spring of 2013, when I heard that he had announced he was gay at the same time he was retiring from professional soccer. When shortly thereafter he decided to play again, this time for the LA Galaxy, he became the first openly gay male athlete to play a game in a major professional team sport in North America. And although it took him a long time to come to terms with who he is, since that point he has embraced his opportunity to be a role model, especially for young people, to demonstrate that your sexuality doesn't define you, and it shouldn't stop you from doing what you love.
"...I don't represent the gay community and I'm not giving anyone a voice other than myself. If anything, I like to think that I'm speaking for myself and for all people who feel like they've been discriminated against. That's a role I'm happy to embrace."
Although our lives are vastly different, Rogers' story definitely hit home for me in a number of ways. I, too, spent a long time trying to figure out a way not to be gay, and once I realized that was an impossible task, I worried about how my family and friends would react. And while it probably wasn't a shock to most people when I eventually told them, it was a relief to be completely honest instead of hiding a part of my life, worrying about which pronouns to use, and not being able to enjoy my life as I was experiencing it.
I thought this was a really well-written and engrossing book. Rogers is a very complex person with many interests far beyond sports. He isn't afraid to portray himself or his actions as unsympathetic at times, and he doesn't excuse certain things he did. You can almost feel how tightly wound he was through most of his life, and how finally revealing his true self to his family was tremendously freeing and cathartic, and I'm not ashamed to admit, it (unsurprisingly) made me a little emotional.
I hope that this book makes its way into the hands of those who need it most. Rogers may not have set out to be a role model, but he definitely is one, and we are fortunate that he is willing to share his journey and his feelings with us. Hopefully this book will change more than one mind, and make a difference in more than one life.
Find all of my reviews and more at http://itseithersadnessoreuphoria.blo....
January 23, 2015
I love Robbie Rogers. He's an attractive guy, he's a fast guy, he has an innate ability to play soccer and there's some solidarity because he and I are gay.
Unfortunately, the same reasons I like him as a person were what made his book so detached and unrelatable. Please, don't get me wrong, everyone's struggle with coming out and being gay is different but I hardly think an attractive, white man from an affluent, Catholic family (his parents run a law firm) had it bad enough to not enjoy a national title win.
Now in my review, I would like to disassociate myself from a bias of being a minority; objectively speaking, the writing at various points felt as if it were reaching (and reaching hard, at that) to fill the 200 page mark. If I wasn't already aware that guys say "faggot" in the sports locker rooms, I certainly am now from the amount of times it was mentioned in this book. That being said, I know that this could have been a personal experience that stuck with Robbie, but why were they so vague? There were no personal , let alone specific (aside from his father, maybe twice), attacks that shaped Robbie's mind set that being gay is bad and everyone will hate me if I tell them.
Another reviewer says it well that even in the book Robbie says he has difficulty expressing emotion and so much so that it becomes apparent in his own writing.
All in all the book was disjointed and just felt like one glorious moment followed by another (along with intermittent injuries, of course) with an underlying, insidious gay back story that comes to a crux when he comes out and EVERYONE is completely supportive and loving.
Also, the use of cliches. There were so many times in this book where the reader knew a cliche was coming because Robbie would definitely let us know that, "this is so cliche, but."
Ultimately, I can't knock Robbie for getting his story out here, I just wish his co-auther helped out a little more, or something. I wish there were more personal stories of victimization, or just personal, specific touches in general; there were just too many repetitive circumstances that led me to believe he just forgot some of the rough times because all the other times were actually pretty great.
Unfortunately, the same reasons I like him as a person were what made his book so detached and unrelatable. Please, don't get me wrong, everyone's struggle with coming out and being gay is different but I hardly think an attractive, white man from an affluent, Catholic family (his parents run a law firm) had it bad enough to not enjoy a national title win.
Now in my review, I would like to disassociate myself from a bias of being a minority; objectively speaking, the writing at various points felt as if it were reaching (and reaching hard, at that) to fill the 200 page mark. If I wasn't already aware that guys say "faggot" in the sports locker rooms, I certainly am now from the amount of times it was mentioned in this book. That being said, I know that this could have been a personal experience that stuck with Robbie, but why were they so vague? There were no personal , let alone specific (aside from his father, maybe twice), attacks that shaped Robbie's mind set that being gay is bad and everyone will hate me if I tell them.
Another reviewer says it well that even in the book Robbie says he has difficulty expressing emotion and so much so that it becomes apparent in his own writing.
All in all the book was disjointed and just felt like one glorious moment followed by another (along with intermittent injuries, of course) with an underlying, insidious gay back story that comes to a crux when he comes out and EVERYONE is completely supportive and loving.
Also, the use of cliches. There were so many times in this book where the reader knew a cliche was coming because Robbie would definitely let us know that, "this is so cliche, but."
Ultimately, I can't knock Robbie for getting his story out here, I just wish his co-auther helped out a little more, or something. I wish there were more personal stories of victimization, or just personal, specific touches in general; there were just too many repetitive circumstances that led me to believe he just forgot some of the rough times because all the other times were actually pretty great.
May 5, 2015
Full I'm-so-glad-I-read-his-story reviewage on Prism Book Alliance®
You don’t grow up hating yourself by accident. You don’t learn to lie about your true nature on a whim. You don’t pretend to be straight just for the fun of it. You have to learn and be taught these things and I was a good student.
It’s a challenge, for me anyway, to somehow rate or analyze or place some sort of judgement on a book like this. This is Robbie Rogers’s story, in his own words, about his emotions, and his isolation, suffering, triumphs, losses, and successes. Given all of that, here are my thoughts and reactions about Robbie’s story, so far.
The opening chapters are a set-up of sorts, family history and early experiences. Then we get into the nitty gritty, more of Rogers’ voice coming through. So many of his memories are the kind that fuel the intensity many feel in that we have to keep working to improve understanding, education, and communication. No one should be made to feel they have to hide who they are in order to simply survive, let alone maintain love and acceptance from their family and friends. This was Robbie’s life, his world, in every single aspect, until his coming out.
Anyone could read this book. He presents ideas and explanations at a level that assumes not everyone knows what the rainbow flag represents or how the leagues of English football are structured. Being one who knows both, and much of the other detail he includes regarding the things important in his life, I still felt connected and motivated while reading.
There’s a good amount of football/soccer talk since that is his profession. He speaks about his different team experiences, explains how some leagues are structured, his personal accomplishments and challenges. He also describes how, even at the highest moments of achievement, he didn’t feel how he thought he would or, maybe even more telling, should. I’ll let him tell you why and how that was. It’s a large part of his journey to try and break free of the lies, loneliness, and hollow existence he often felt he was living.
Robbie’s family is a big part of his life. His parents, siblings, his aunts and grandparents, they all play important roles in many of the decisions he made. This is true both in all of those years before he came and since.
It never crossed my mind that I could be gay and play soccer. Never. So the better I did, the more trapped I felt like there was no way out, that this was how my life was always going to be.
Is it any wonder in the slightest that so many people become depressed and suffer all of the things that come with it? As human beings, we all naturally crave connection, the ability to breathe freely and live our lives as we really are, we want to feel that happiness that comes with doing that.
It’s difficult to help someone put their feelings, thoughts, and experiences into words that everyone else can easily read and understand, while still keeping a good amount of that person’s own voice in the telling. You want it to be as true a representation and translation. The beginning is a bit dry as it gives the lay of the land but then more of Robbie’s personality emerges. This is definitely Robbie’s voice in that it’s consistent, filled with excitement, pain, innocence, wearisome burdens, and hope, all of these and more coming through clearly.
There is a lot of emotion in this book, I felt a lot of emotion. It would bubble up, not really surprising me but, a constant reminder about how real this experience is, for Robbie and everyone else who lives in secret, in fear. Robbie struggled for so long, trying to reconcile who he really is with what he was taught growing up, both inside his family and by his religion, and his relationship with God as he sees and feels it.
Robbie wrote this while and is still in his 20’s. Make of that what you will. Mostly, I think about the fact that he’ll now be able to live the rest of his life as himself, not some shadow or shell of a lie.
I remember when all of this was happening, when he first came out, left soccer, and then returned, and all of the overwhelmingly positive support he received. Then when I heard he had written his story up to this point, I bookmarked it. It’s an important story, one that will hopefully help people struggling the same way he was (and still does sometimes), as well as those who have young people in their lives suffering and are looking for a way to open a dialogue, to show they are available with strength and support.
Someday, this kind of story won’t be necessary except to tell just that, a story. In other words, it won’t be such an “event” because we’ll be living in a society where sexuality isn’t something by which anyone is judged to be lesser than, invaluable, and unworthy. I think Robbie Rogers is doing his part to help us all get there.
There are some great images at the end of the book, as well as some information and links regarding the different organizations and charities with whom Rogers works.
His own campaign against discrimination is called BEYOND “it” and can be found here: http://beyondit.com/
Also, Robbie, I totally respect your choice to be an Arsenal fan. Really. I do. (LFC forevah!)
You don’t grow up hating yourself by accident. You don’t learn to lie about your true nature on a whim. You don’t pretend to be straight just for the fun of it. You have to learn and be taught these things and I was a good student.
It’s a challenge, for me anyway, to somehow rate or analyze or place some sort of judgement on a book like this. This is Robbie Rogers’s story, in his own words, about his emotions, and his isolation, suffering, triumphs, losses, and successes. Given all of that, here are my thoughts and reactions about Robbie’s story, so far.
The opening chapters are a set-up of sorts, family history and early experiences. Then we get into the nitty gritty, more of Rogers’ voice coming through. So many of his memories are the kind that fuel the intensity many feel in that we have to keep working to improve understanding, education, and communication. No one should be made to feel they have to hide who they are in order to simply survive, let alone maintain love and acceptance from their family and friends. This was Robbie’s life, his world, in every single aspect, until his coming out.
Anyone could read this book. He presents ideas and explanations at a level that assumes not everyone knows what the rainbow flag represents or how the leagues of English football are structured. Being one who knows both, and much of the other detail he includes regarding the things important in his life, I still felt connected and motivated while reading.
There’s a good amount of football/soccer talk since that is his profession. He speaks about his different team experiences, explains how some leagues are structured, his personal accomplishments and challenges. He also describes how, even at the highest moments of achievement, he didn’t feel how he thought he would or, maybe even more telling, should. I’ll let him tell you why and how that was. It’s a large part of his journey to try and break free of the lies, loneliness, and hollow existence he often felt he was living.
Robbie’s family is a big part of his life. His parents, siblings, his aunts and grandparents, they all play important roles in many of the decisions he made. This is true both in all of those years before he came and since.
It never crossed my mind that I could be gay and play soccer. Never. So the better I did, the more trapped I felt like there was no way out, that this was how my life was always going to be.
Is it any wonder in the slightest that so many people become depressed and suffer all of the things that come with it? As human beings, we all naturally crave connection, the ability to breathe freely and live our lives as we really are, we want to feel that happiness that comes with doing that.
It’s difficult to help someone put their feelings, thoughts, and experiences into words that everyone else can easily read and understand, while still keeping a good amount of that person’s own voice in the telling. You want it to be as true a representation and translation. The beginning is a bit dry as it gives the lay of the land but then more of Robbie’s personality emerges. This is definitely Robbie’s voice in that it’s consistent, filled with excitement, pain, innocence, wearisome burdens, and hope, all of these and more coming through clearly.
There is a lot of emotion in this book, I felt a lot of emotion. It would bubble up, not really surprising me but, a constant reminder about how real this experience is, for Robbie and everyone else who lives in secret, in fear. Robbie struggled for so long, trying to reconcile who he really is with what he was taught growing up, both inside his family and by his religion, and his relationship with God as he sees and feels it.
Robbie wrote this while and is still in his 20’s. Make of that what you will. Mostly, I think about the fact that he’ll now be able to live the rest of his life as himself, not some shadow or shell of a lie.
I remember when all of this was happening, when he first came out, left soccer, and then returned, and all of the overwhelmingly positive support he received. Then when I heard he had written his story up to this point, I bookmarked it. It’s an important story, one that will hopefully help people struggling the same way he was (and still does sometimes), as well as those who have young people in their lives suffering and are looking for a way to open a dialogue, to show they are available with strength and support.
Someday, this kind of story won’t be necessary except to tell just that, a story. In other words, it won’t be such an “event” because we’ll be living in a society where sexuality isn’t something by which anyone is judged to be lesser than, invaluable, and unworthy. I think Robbie Rogers is doing his part to help us all get there.
There are some great images at the end of the book, as well as some information and links regarding the different organizations and charities with whom Rogers works.
His own campaign against discrimination is called BEYOND “it” and can be found here: http://beyondit.com/
Also, Robbie, I totally respect your choice to be an Arsenal fan. Really. I do. (LFC forevah!)
January 11, 2015
While this might not be the most amazing book I have ever read, it definitely touched me in a way I didn't think it would. As an avid fan of the Columbus Crew, I followed much of Robbie Roger's professional career, and I have to say, reading this books made my heart ache for him. It's one of those things - when you love your team so much, each team member feels like a person you know, whether or not you have had the honor of meeting him. I remember after he left the Crew, keeping track of him in England, and then reading the fateful letter he tweeted. However, reading this I really got to know Robbie and his struggles off the field and how it affected his ability to play on the field. His story is one that he needed to tell to be able to become who he is and I applaud this book.
October 24, 2014
Robbie Rogers is an out gay professional soccer player who has written an autobiography that is one part inspirational magazine profile to about ten parts wikipedia article. By his own admission, he has trouble expressing emotion and even greater trouble accessing or describing specific memories and experiences. What is left is a list of the teams he played for interspersed with vague descriptions of locker-room homophobia and fears about how his family, friends, teammates and fans would react to his sexuality which desperately struggles to fill 220 pages.
October 5, 2019
There's a lot to appreciate about gay people surviving in today's mostly backwarded society. Yes, it's better than it was, but in the age of technology so advanced, there's widespread fear of artificial intelligence overtaking our jobs and lives, most people are mentally still troglodytes ready to ruin your life if the person you love happens to have or not to have particular appendage between their legs.
Just so they can feel good about themselves and their life choices, which never were chosen in the first place.
There's lot to appreciate about Robbie Rogers as a person as well. But there's one thing I liked the most. It was incredibly fresh when he said how he knew his limitations and what he could and couldn't endure. Right? Who, these days, knows that and if he does, is ready to admit it? And if he's ready to admit it, is he ready to behave or not to behave accordingly?
Just so they can feel good about themselves and their life choices, which never were chosen in the first place.
There's lot to appreciate about Robbie Rogers as a person as well. But there's one thing I liked the most. It was incredibly fresh when he said how he knew his limitations and what he could and couldn't endure. Right? Who, these days, knows that and if he does, is ready to admit it? And if he's ready to admit it, is he ready to behave or not to behave accordingly?
December 4, 2014
He has the looks of a 1950s matinee idol, but is completely human. This is a heartfelt autobiography of a man who is still finding his place in the world.
October 11, 2018
3.5 - I’m not really a sports fan, except for gymnastics, but I’ve always been interested in the stories of LGBTQ+ professional athletes and when/how they decide to come out. While things have been changing in recent years there still aren’t that many high level professional athletes who come out and continue to compete. So I was interested in reading Robbie Rogers’ book to learn more about his experience of being a closeted gay man while playing professional soccer in the US and the UK. And his decision to retire at 25 when he came out, only to return to soccer just a few months later.
Robbie described his childhood growing up in a conservative Catholic family and coming to the realization that he was gay. He brought up different situations he encountered which made him feel like if he ever came out he would be abandoned by his family, friends, and teammates. It was tough reading about how he felt like he had to hide a part of himself and try to convince others that he was straight in order to be able to play soccer in college and professionally. Robbie writes about the homophobia in the locker rooms and the macho sports culture that made him feel like coming out could never be an option.
The book was on the shorter side, so at times it felt like some things were only glossed over instead of going fully in depth. Sometimes the book seemed a little bit repetitive, and space that could’ve been dedicated to bringing up other stories was just used reiterating something that had already been said. This definitely wasn’t a super well-written book, but I think it mostly did the job at getting Robbie’s story out into the world.
I think this book is worth reading if you’re interested in the stories of LGBTQ+ professional athletes, or if you’re interested in reading about the impact of homophobia within sports.
Robbie described his childhood growing up in a conservative Catholic family and coming to the realization that he was gay. He brought up different situations he encountered which made him feel like if he ever came out he would be abandoned by his family, friends, and teammates. It was tough reading about how he felt like he had to hide a part of himself and try to convince others that he was straight in order to be able to play soccer in college and professionally. Robbie writes about the homophobia in the locker rooms and the macho sports culture that made him feel like coming out could never be an option.
The book was on the shorter side, so at times it felt like some things were only glossed over instead of going fully in depth. Sometimes the book seemed a little bit repetitive, and space that could’ve been dedicated to bringing up other stories was just used reiterating something that had already been said. This definitely wasn’t a super well-written book, but I think it mostly did the job at getting Robbie’s story out into the world.
I think this book is worth reading if you’re interested in the stories of LGBTQ+ professional athletes, or if you’re interested in reading about the impact of homophobia within sports.
December 12, 2017
A wonderful biography that I urge anyone to read, gay, straight or otherwise, football fan or not. Rogers (and his co-writer) do an excellent job of creating a book that is accessible to all, and it skilfully depicts the exhausting, debilitating effects that hiding your true self imposes on a person.
Rogers doesn't shy away from being self critical or pointing out the homophobia he observed in his own family and friends growing up, but - unlike many in a world that I find increasingly less tolerant, including those who preach tolerance and are quick to label a person a homophobic bigot for life for a single utterance - crucially Rogers illuminates the nuance of growing up gay, and the influence that families, friends and religion can have on an intelligent yet impressionable, young mind. He describes the struggles he faces, but also allows his mother and sisters to input their own words about how they felt about certain events.
Inspiring stuff.
Rogers doesn't shy away from being self critical or pointing out the homophobia he observed in his own family and friends growing up, but - unlike many in a world that I find increasingly less tolerant, including those who preach tolerance and are quick to label a person a homophobic bigot for life for a single utterance - crucially Rogers illuminates the nuance of growing up gay, and the influence that families, friends and religion can have on an intelligent yet impressionable, young mind. He describes the struggles he faces, but also allows his mother and sisters to input their own words about how they felt about certain events.
Inspiring stuff.
July 25, 2018
An inspiring, easy read.
November 30, 2014
To be honest, I hadn't heard of Robbie Rogers until he came out gay. As a gay lawyer, who practices law, and writes (mostly in the m/m romance genre), my interest in Robbie Rogers has been relatively recent.
[This recent interest is in part because I like to watch soccer. Yes, I've watched, "Bend It Like Beckham." But I've also followed Arsenal, Manchester United and Real Madrid off and often over the years.]
This book doesn't disappoint. Written in a conversational style, the book outlines the struggles that Robbie Rogers has from an early age. Raised in Southern California in a very Catholic family, his life undergoes tremendous change when his parents divorce. Against this background, Robbie displays early on characteristics which would confirm he is gay. In fact, the author(s) clearly show that Robbie knew he was different early on. Where the problems lie, as the book goes into, are when Robbie denies those feelings for a long time.
This book details Robbie Rogers' relationships with his mother, father and siblings. There are wonderful narratives about his internal struggle about being true with himself while pursuing his love of soccer. You feel his pain when when he addresses the super-macho world of sports, where women are objectified and homosexuality is ridiculed.
"Coming Out to Play" addresses the problems of questioning one's sexuality and highlights the agonizing fear of a closeted man afraid of losing the love and acceptance of those he loves (as well as jeopardizing his career in a sport that he enjoys).
As a unsophisticated soccer fan, the references to FIFA, Olympic soccer and the like made this book a very quick read for me.
I particularly liked the use of family members providing notes or memories in the book for the reader to get context: this was a nice touch.
This is a book I recommend to every one interested in learning about Robbie Rogers.
This is a book I recommend to any gay male who loves sports.
This is a book I recommend because it's a good book.
[This recent interest is in part because I like to watch soccer. Yes, I've watched, "Bend It Like Beckham." But I've also followed Arsenal, Manchester United and Real Madrid off and often over the years.]
This book doesn't disappoint. Written in a conversational style, the book outlines the struggles that Robbie Rogers has from an early age. Raised in Southern California in a very Catholic family, his life undergoes tremendous change when his parents divorce. Against this background, Robbie displays early on characteristics which would confirm he is gay. In fact, the author(s) clearly show that Robbie knew he was different early on. Where the problems lie, as the book goes into, are when Robbie denies those feelings for a long time.
This book details Robbie Rogers' relationships with his mother, father and siblings. There are wonderful narratives about his internal struggle about being true with himself while pursuing his love of soccer. You feel his pain when when he addresses the super-macho world of sports, where women are objectified and homosexuality is ridiculed.
"Coming Out to Play" addresses the problems of questioning one's sexuality and highlights the agonizing fear of a closeted man afraid of losing the love and acceptance of those he loves (as well as jeopardizing his career in a sport that he enjoys).
As a unsophisticated soccer fan, the references to FIFA, Olympic soccer and the like made this book a very quick read for me.
I particularly liked the use of family members providing notes or memories in the book for the reader to get context: this was a nice touch.
This is a book I recommend to every one interested in learning about Robbie Rogers.
This is a book I recommend to any gay male who loves sports.
This is a book I recommend because it's a good book.
February 7, 2015
I've seen this book being read by the most diverse range of people in all sorts of circumstances. As an SPHE (Social, Personal & Health Education) teacher I thought this would be an interesting read, and when I saw a former student reading it on the bus I thought it was about time I got around to it. Well what can I say about it. It's an autobiography of American soccer player Robbie Rogers (US national team/Leeds etc.) who spent most of his life hiding the secret of his sexuality for pretty obvious reasons. Then you read his book and realize it's not as obvious as it seems, for example he comes from a devoutly Catholic family in Los Angelus, and therefore even when you take his career out of the equation he spent 25 years running away from himself and his fear of hurting those he loved. It's difficult to write an autobiography if your in your twenties, without resorting to just a serious of dates and random observations, particularly if you are a sportsman who lives his life by 90 minute games of wins and loses, but YES it is worth the read. Robbie is a complex man and his mind/soul are much more interesting than the facts and figures of his career. It's well worth a read if you like autobiographies, sports books, LGBT books or books about real people with real lives and real feelings. As he finally worked out for himself one is "never truly alone".
March 12, 2015
When I picked this book up I knew nothing about Robbie Rogers other than the fact that he was gay and that he played soccer. Even so, I read almost the entire book in one sitting. The narrative does an excellent job of showing how drastically keeping a part of yourself hidden can affect your life. From your career to your faith to your relationships with others and yourself, it seems that everything suffers when you can't be who you truly are. I think anyone who's ever felt like an outcast or like they had to hide something will find a part of themselves in Robbie's story. It was both heart-breaking and eye-opening to read about the pain and uncertainty that goes along with being gay and closeted, especially since the story felt almost like a letter from a friend. The entire book was deeply personal, including input from his mother and sister which helped give a better view of some of the situations and of Robbie himself. Many of the stories told must have been difficult to relive through writing and I have a lot of respect for the courage it must have taken to write this book. As a soccer fan I will definitely be keeping an eye out for Robbie Rogers in the future, and I look forward to cheering him on.
October 10, 2014
I enjoyed this memoir a lot! And here is why: Number one reason is that Robbie Rogers is so likable. He is such a kind, nice and thoughtful person. I enjoyed both plots of the book even though I'm not a soccer (football) fan and quite frankly I find it excruciatingly boring. I grew up in Europe though so I understant exactly what Robbie was talking about when he describes the fans, the players and the culture. Being an athlete myself I could also relate to his passion for the sport. I know what it feels like when you are injured and unable to do what you love. I enjoyed the family side of the story as well. I was very moved by Robbie's family reaction to his coming out. I was saddened by the years of him thinking that he couldn't be himself in order to be loved by his friends and family or be a successful soccer player. Hope that little by litte we can make this world a place where we are going to celebrate our diversities rather than be divided by them. Kudos to Robbie Rogers for his great work!
June 1, 2015
My star rating on this is pretty meaningless considering how I don't feel I can really rate a book where someone is just talking about his life and struggles. Robbie Rogers is a soccer player, not a writer, so I didn't expect this to be some beautifully written book. It's simply him sharing what he had gone through and I am glad he did.
I knew coming out had been difficult for him, but actually reading him explain it all in depth was heartbreaking. He suffered so much having to hide who he is. I am so glad he seems to have found happiness and could return to soccer while also sharing his story. This book is important in helping others understand how damaging a homophobic sports culture can be and how easily you can hurt another person without knowing it.
I knew coming out had been difficult for him, but actually reading him explain it all in depth was heartbreaking. He suffered so much having to hide who he is. I am so glad he seems to have found happiness and could return to soccer while also sharing his story. This book is important in helping others understand how damaging a homophobic sports culture can be and how easily you can hurt another person without knowing it.
February 5, 2015
Whether you're a soccer fan or not, Robbie Rogers' courageous story transcends sport. Its refreshing, conversational style made it one of the most powerful life stories I've had the pleasure of reading. At a time when Rogers says, FIFA “doesn’t care at all” about the struggle of LGBTQ athletes and homophobia in soccer, visibility and individual acts of courage remain the surest way to change the face of the game (and the world in general). You want a story of courage? Triumph? Look no further. This is it.
January 7, 2015
Robbie Rogers' memoir does a good job of outlining the toxic effects of internalized homophobia. Rogers lived an apparently charmed life (loving family, dedication and drive, extraordinary ability, good looks) but beneath the surface was the big secret - one he could barely even admit to himself. It's an engaging read, not least because Rogers is so likeable.
January 22, 2015
While this may not be the best written book, the book had a great voice. There were many parts that I could identify with and I think this would be a great book for anyone to read that has ever been bullied or felt ashamed of who they are.
July 3, 2023
My partner and I have been fans of Robbie Rogers since he came out in 2013. Ten years later, and I finally decided to read his memoir (which my partner had read so it had been on our bookshelf.) Also, we are about the same age, so I could relate to the feelings he expressed because the early 2000s were not an accepting time to be an LGBTQ+ teen or young person.
Robbie's story is heartbreaking and all too familiar for people who have been conditioned to believe their queer identity is something to be ashamed of (and that shame comes from multiple angles in Robbie's case as someone who was raised in a conservative, religious household and as a professional athlete.) The reality of his experiences are heightened because of the extraordinary situation he's in.
I find it interesting how much progress was made in the early 2010s with regard to LGBTQ+ inclusion in athletics, but that the inclusion of LGBTQ+ male athletes has been far outpaced by the inclusion and acceptance of LGBTQ+ female athletes. And now, the rights of LGBTQ+ people in the United States are being attacked and eroded; however, too much progress has been made and Robbie Rogers is a part of that progress!
Robbie's story is heartbreaking and all too familiar for people who have been conditioned to believe their queer identity is something to be ashamed of (and that shame comes from multiple angles in Robbie's case as someone who was raised in a conservative, religious household and as a professional athlete.) The reality of his experiences are heightened because of the extraordinary situation he's in.
I find it interesting how much progress was made in the early 2010s with regard to LGBTQ+ inclusion in athletics, but that the inclusion of LGBTQ+ male athletes has been far outpaced by the inclusion and acceptance of LGBTQ+ female athletes. And now, the rights of LGBTQ+ people in the United States are being attacked and eroded; however, too much progress has been made and Robbie Rogers is a part of that progress!
February 12, 2018
I've always been of the firm belief that no one in their 20s should write an autobiography. They haven't had enough time to reflect on their life and they haven't experienced enough of what life can throw at a person. It's usually why books by people so young are rarely more than 200 pages. Robbie Rogers is important for being one of the only openly gay soccer players who played during his career rather than coming out after he had retired, but now was not the time to write the book.
I felt it was interesting and he did struggle with accepting himself and his sexuality. I also appreciated hearing from his various family members. That was something different in a book of this type. However, I'm not feeling a then 20-something has enough to really write about. He should have waited until later in life to write his story. That's just my feelings.
I felt it was interesting and he did struggle with accepting himself and his sexuality. I also appreciated hearing from his various family members. That was something different in a book of this type. However, I'm not feeling a then 20-something has enough to really write about. He should have waited until later in life to write his story. That's just my feelings.
December 30, 2017
I had never heard of Robbie Rogers until a friend recommended this book. We were discussing the lack of out players in Soccer/football. His story was one of internal sadness hidden inside a life of extreme privilege. The writing wasn't the best and it was hard at times to grasp the depth of emotion he was feeling because of the poor writing. It was great to hear that he was universally accepted by his family, friends and teammates but I think that is why the book was less than interesting to me. It was hard for me to sympathize with his story when so many young gay people don't have the positive experiences he had and yet he is the "role model" for those with much harder journeys.
September 28, 2017
"My decision to come out to my family was not about them. I wasn't doing this for them; this whole thing was about me. It was about me coming to terms with myself. It was about me realizing that I wasn't a bad person, that I was supposed to do good on this earth. So in the end it didn't matter what anyone else said or thought. At least that's what I told myself. Yes, I was afraid, but I needed to get this done and I needed to do it for myself."
This was honestly one of the most meaningful books I have ever read.
This was honestly one of the most meaningful books I have ever read.
May 16, 2018
This book was a great read! This book really showed the theme of standing out and becoming who you are, and it is told in the first person view of Robbie Rogers. This book compiles sadness and happiness and really presses on the main idea of the storyline which is: the true power of standing up for yourself and not caring about what others think, brings more than just self-courage but portrays motivation for the whole world. I really encourage you to read this if you like books about modern-day heroes and in this case a superstar soccer player who was more than just a player.
January 3, 2022
Good Read
Interesting story that should be shared with all young gay athletes. Most of the time they feel they are totally alone and having older athletes share their stories gives help in being themselves and still being able to play their sport. The book also is a boost to all LGBTQI kids who may just be a fan. Coming out is scary enough without something to show that they are not alone.
Interesting story that should be shared with all young gay athletes. Most of the time they feel they are totally alone and having older athletes share their stories gives help in being themselves and still being able to play their sport. The book also is a boost to all LGBTQI kids who may just be a fan. Coming out is scary enough without something to show that they are not alone.
February 15, 2017
Excellent read for an insight into what it is like to be gay in a society and sub-society of male sports that makes it an issue. Robbie had to overcome all his preconceived ideas of how his family/friends/teammates would respond to the truth about him, as well as learn how feel and be "his true self."
July 18, 2017
Perspective. If I had to choose one word to describe this book, it would be perspective. This book gives you the chance to walk and score goals in Robbie's shoes. His words and experiences gave me a deeper understanding of the hardships and joys of being a gay athlete. I hope that his words will give others inspiration to be themselves in everything they do. Be brave and be bold.
January 15, 2020
I really wanted to get into this book but it just never pulled me in. I have always enjoyed interviews with Robbie and was interested in hearing his perspective of coming out while being on a professional sports team. I listened to it on audio book and it was read by Robbie but he seemed to lack enthusiasm and excitement about his own story which made it hard to feel engaged.
October 15, 2023
Amazing person and amazing story. Crazy how scary it was to hide who you are not that long ago. Love how he pointed out how the younger generation made him brave. He said a lot of what he did was for himself in the beginning and the lbgtq youth made him want to do more for others. Really awesome story and read. ❤️🏳️🌈
September 2, 2017
Quick read and honest story. Robbie describes growing up, knowing he's gay, trying to suppress it for so long and how that affected him. Coming out finally and feeling whole. And doing that under the spotlight of being a major league soccer star in the US and U.K. Glad I read it.
January 19, 2018
Robbie wrote this book to help others through the same internal struggles he had. It is one of the most honest books you will ever read. I hope it brings about Robbie's wish, for gay sportsmen to be able to play openly. (Re-read Jan. '18)
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