during my nervous breakdown i want to have a biographer present

by Brandon Scott Gorrell

"Bret Easton Ellis for the Gmail chat generation."
—Kelley Hoffman, Refinery 29

"[O]ne of the best books of American poetry I've read in years."
—Michael Schaub, Bookslut

"Gorrell's book is a thoughtful yet humorous collection of entertaining poems. [...] Makes me wish I had kept up with poetry writing."
—Jeffrey Brown, author of clumsy

"...excruciatingly intimate..."
- Bomb Magazine

"...thoroughly confounding [...] either extremely easy to understand or extremely befuddling..."
—Molly Young, We Love You So

"Such hilarious, surprising, aphoristic poems. They do not stop at funny: they move into the territory of sad; the drab panic of daily life."
—Deb Olin Unferth, author of REVOLUTION

"I like these poems. I really do. They made me laugh."
—Matthew Rohrer, author of A GREEN LIGHT

"I feel lonely, and while I'm lonely, reading this book makes me feel less lonely."
—Noah Cicero, author of THE HUMAN WAR

"I have been going through a thing lately of not feeling like I want to read, unless I 'have' to (like I'm on a bus or something), but I read Brandon's book and enjoyed it a lot and felt excited."
—Chris Killen, author of THE BIRD ROOM

"This is an awesome collection. I read it straight through, not even pausing to brush away the spider that was building a web between my knees."
- Sam Pink, author of RONTEL

"Gorrell's poetic landscapes are vast and intangible. His poems explore outer space, Internet, the mind."
—The Rumpus

"Gorrell mixes humor, personification, and hyperbole to show the narrator's inability to relate to people. [...] A line like 'i want to sleep on a zebra while it gets eaten by a lion' may sound funny, but it shows the narrator's desire for a passive but violent death."
—Hipster Book Club

Genres: Poetry, Fiction, Literature

88 pages, Kindle Edition

First published June 20, 2009

About the author

Brandon Scott Gorrell (b. 1984) has been 'widely published' on the internet. His blog is called MY HAIR WILL DEFEAT YOU. He lives and works in Seattle, Washington.

Reviews

[Tao · Rating 5 out of 5]

http://muumuuhouse.com/bsg.poetrybook...

[Martyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

I get tired of hearing these sorts of collections written off as "hipster junk", as if nothing about them can possibly be good. Nothing could be further from the truth. I challenge anyone who knows and enjoys poetry to read, for example, "some inconceivable crisis thing" in this book and not be reminded of Keats in his pomp. Sure the language and metaphors are wildly different but the poets are ultimately discussing the same thing - the human condition. The ultra contemporary setting and language used by Gorrell doesn't detract at all from the infinite and timeless sadness of his themes, in fact both elements help to ground the work concretely in a way that should resonate with the modern reader.

Once you have found a way in to writers like Tao Lin, Heather Christle and Megan Boyle, not too mention Brandon Scott Gorrell, they are very rewarding authors and no amount of diversionary criticism should put you off reading their challenging work. It takes a little work on the part of the reader but the rewards adequately compensate you for the task.

[Annette Abbott · Rating 4 out of 5]

Do people like Tao Lin and Brandon Scott Gorrell lose their street cred if someone above the age of 25 gives them a favorable review? If so, I'm totally sorry, dude. You're the person I wanted to be when I was in high school.

- 48 year old from San Francisco

[Chris · Rating 5 out of 5]

I LIKE THIS BOOK A LOT.

[Evan · Rating 5 out of 5]

felt good reading this.

[Mike Kleine · Rating 5 out of 5]

So let's get this out of the way now. I didn't realize I was reading a book of poetry until I got to about page 12. I say this because whenever I read 'normal' poems, I feel like it's a chore, like my brain is becoming numb. Metaphor this, metaphor that; am I really supposed to know what you (the author) mean when you say 'sasquatian interpolation'? With Brandon Scott Gorrell's DURING MY NERVOUS BREAKDOWN I WANT TO HAVE A BIOGRAPHER PRESENT, it felt like I was reading some intense inner-poetry... wrapped in bacon.

The book, DURING MY NERVOUS BREAKDOWN I WANT TO HAVE A BIOGRAPHER PRESENT (just so I know we're both talking about the same book here,) goes beyond 'normal' poetry since it is sincere and most certainly, to the point, I kid you not about this. The book is so 'to-the-point' that I cannot believe an absurdist poet actually wrote this. Trust me when I say that the nonsense actually makes too much sense. The table of contents itself reads like a poem. Now, have I said 'poem' enough times yet? No? Okay. You also won't find many upper-case letters here so if you're into that old-time 'let's all follow the rules of grammar' crap, you won't appreciate this book. Yeah, it's sometimes cool to be lazy like that, it is 2010 after all. And oh yeah, everything is also double-spaced so uh, go crazy with your margin comments and class-discussion-type notes... It's actually encouraged, I think. Or not.

[Billy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Muumuu House has provided a venue for the community of emotive bloggers-turned-poets. Think of Megan Boyle or Tao Lin, or those related indie publishers touting Sam Pink or Carlton Mellick III. On one hand, I want to be excited about the rise of experimentalism, the rise of a creative community who understands the surreal as a kind of hyper-real engagement with the subjective imagination. The writer who isn't afraid to write a book about a man being slowly eaten by a bear, who retells children's stories with the addition of pornographic elements.

On the other hand, experimentalism is too often an excuse for relating the mundane in the guise of insight. This isn't surprising. We live in a world that is hyper-connected, where communication is easier and more constant than ever. When you spend half a day answering emails or text messages, what else will you devote your writing time to discussing? Why should a poem contain more insight than a tweet? Yet, the message of this whole writing community is flat: "I spend all my time at my computer, I have no real-life interactions, so I feel lonely and somewhat violent as a result of my frustration at being lonely." These writers capture the world they experience with spot-on mimesis without seeming to care whether their experiences are worth capturing.

[Jason · Rating 4 out of 5]

There is a subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) sense of fear slowly creeping through the pages of Brandon Scott Gorrell's debut collection During My Nervous Breakdown I Want to Have a Biographer Present (June 20th, 2009 by Muumuu House). Perhaps it is a fear of reveling too much, cutting to close, or perhaps it is the legitimate fear of having a nervous breakdown. Throughout these poems Brandon seems to be looking for something, friends, silence, fame (whatever that means), he is searching meaning in a mostly quiet existence.

[Jeffrey · Rating 4 out of 5]

Gorrell's book is a thoughtful yet humorous collection of entertaining poems that fits perfectly with publisher MuuMuu House, run by writer Tao Lin. It's a certain style of poetry that I would try to define and put my finger on why I like it, but I won't pretend to be enough of a critic to try that, I prefer to just read. Makes me wish I kept up with poetry writing...

[Liza Rosen · Rating 1 out of 5]

incredibly vapid horseshit. anyone mistaking this lazy, self-obsessed drivel for a thoughtful exploration of the human emotional canvas should feel terrible about themselves

[Jeff Hoiland · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book made me feel ok (and other things too). One time at night I felt really negative and shitty physically and was breathing weird and kept thinking things like 'I'm stupid. I don't like this. I think people who like me must be stupid. People who I like don't like me. I'm alone.'(is this a nervous breakdown? I honestly don't know what a nervous breakdown is) and other stuff, including 'I'm gonna read that bitch's nervous breakdown book'. When I woke up the next day I still felt 'pretty shitty'. I read some things (I think from "some inconceivable crisis thing" to "i've been looking at the screen a long time") in this book I hadn't read yet and felt ok.

Also the haiku's are sweet.

[Jordan Castro · Rating 5 out of 5]

this book is amazing.

[Miles Ross · Rating 5 out of 5]

i feel that my appreciation for this book's existence in genuine. i seem to have welcomed its effect on me.

[Gsolarz · Rating 2 out of 5]

some of it made me laugh. some of it was poor.

[walter mackey · Rating 5 out of 5]

really good. laughed at a lot of parts. was inspired to write a haiku after reading.

[Emily · Rating 3 out of 5]

-The use of first person allows the reader to empathize with the narrator. There is an honest tone and no pretension. Declarative and objective sentences about the reality the narrator is experiencing create the feeling of honesty.
-Juxtaposition of neurotic thoughts of isolation and anxiety next to larger societal problems contributes to the idea that both personal and societal needs are important and relevant to speak of. The 'larger' problems seem to both dwarf the individual but in a way that adds to the neurotic thoughts: anxiety over feeling anxious about personal problems instead of problems that affect the entire ecosystem.
-The major thematic concerns seem to be uncertainty, anxiety, meaninglessness, self-awareness, isolation, alienation, loneliness, depression, despair, and death.
-I would recommend this book, but with the caveat that it is very similar in format, motif and content to other alt-lit poetry. Some of it felt unnecessary, but I think that might contribute to creating meaning of the work.

-Favorite quotes:

"is it normal to interpret your behavior with extreme sarcasm and then experience anxiety, depression, alienation, and low self-confidence, and then feel sarcastic about your feelings of anxiety, depression, alienation, and low self-confidence, and then reevaluate your behavior with an even more extreme sarcasm, in an endless loop you can not stop consciously processing" -some inconceivable crisis thing

"meanwhile, you were experiencing long periods of depression
between very short, shiny moments of what you thought was 'life'
it seemed to be related to the fact that you
were living inside a spherical
semi-permeable membrane that you wanted to escape completely
i continued avoiding eye contact
because when i looked at your eyes, i couldn't resist smiling
i would have rather flown into outer space with you
stared into a telescope with you next to me
or committed suicide together
or something" - you are a goldfish and i am alienated

[Jessica · Rating 5 out of 5]

I recently absorbed myself in Brandon Scott Gorrell’s anthology During My Nervous Breakdown I Want to Have a Biographer Present and found myself developing a deep appreciation towards it. Gorrell was able to explain and describe anxiety, depression, and insecurity without spelling it out for the reader. He displayed realistic, uncut, self-conscious thoughts of an imperfect human being within this collection.

In this book of poetry, Gorrell used somewhat dark humor very expertly to show the reader the thoughts of someone who often feels ostracized and anxious. Gorrell’s poetry style is unlike any that I have seen before while incorporating humor. The poems had no rhyme scheme and no particular metaphorical value. Despite the absence of these typical poetic qualities, Gorrell was able to stimulate more of my emotions than any other poet has.

In contrast to ordinary poetry styles, Gorrell’s writing technique is contemporary, mostly appealing to younger readers; including me. However, while some may not comprehend these poems and Gorrell’s strategy to communicate his message, it was very clear to me that he had personal experience and had an in-depth understanding of mental despair. I saw this because of the diction and methods that were used to write these poems, which accurately convey the emotions and thoughts of someone who is at mental unrest. I especially identify with these portrayals of anxiety and depression that he illustrated in his poetry since I suffer from anxiety and depression and can advocate for the representation of mental instability that Gorrell offered in a real and non-cliché fashion.

As a whole, Brandon Scott Gorrell’s poetry provided us with an accurate, dark, and humorous depiction of anxiety, depression, and alienation without uttering any platitudes. This anthology is one representation of mental illness in poetry that I will not forget anytime soon.

[Matthew · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sometimes you find something, and you look at it from a distance, and it seems flat. And then you take that thing and you bring it close to your face, and then a little closer, and then maybe a little closer still, and you notice that it's not flat, but full of notches and grooves. (Like a record, maybe.) Sometimes in order to feel all the notches and grooves in something, you have to use something really sensitive, like your tongue.

Brandon's book has notches and grooves when you get up close. Or when you lick it. I licked it, and that's how I found all the notches and grooves, and how I found that something that at first glance, appeared like it would be smooth and slick to the touch, in fact had all these little places in it that just completely stopped me.

[J.A. · Rating 2 out of 5]

from a review at Rumble Magazine:

"...characters in this gathering of poetry are rare, unless one reads these poems as part of a fictional character’s collective consciousness rather than Gorrell’s own personal anxieties and attempted ego-deflating laid out on pages. And regardless of any character that these poems are attached to, the focus here is pure self, the unadulterated and ever-present ‘i’..."

read the full review here:

http://www.rumble.sy2.com/stories/rev...

[Zach · Rating 4 out of 5]

Overall this is a very good poetry collection. Gorrell's more whimsical works are my favorites, where his self-described anxiety, low self-confidence and alienation are played out in new and interesting ways - "i want my body to become a comet / and i want my body to crash into the moon / and i want this to be globally televised."

[Matthew Roskowski · Rating 1 out of 5]

I couldn't give this 0 stars, so 1 will do. Hipster poetry to the max. Basically just taking whatever leftovers Tao Lin (not much to say for him either) leaves behind.

blah
blah
some boring observations
blah
blah
some more observations
blah

attempt at witty remark
to summarize nothing and
end the poem.

[Christine · Rating 4 out of 5]

The openness with which Gorrell reveals his frustrations and annoyances, such as with life and writing, through poetry echoes the comforting feelings that writers of Muumuu house tend to provide. Gorrell teaches emerging poets to be conversational and not to see poetry as anything in particular but as an opportunity to share, tear up, and explore the comment cards of one's life.

[Christine · Rating 4 out of 5]

The openness with which Gorrell reveals his frustrations and annoyances, such as with life and writing, through poetry echoes the comforting feelings that writers of Muumuu house tend to provide. Gorrell teaches emerging poets to be conversational and not to see poetry as anything in particular but as an opportunity to share, tear up, and explore the comment cards of one's life.

[Biscuits · Rating 3 out of 5]

These are poems meant for the 21st century. That sounds kind of dumb, but I think it is true. Like there are cell phones and computers and stuff like that in here. I feel like Brandon is a friend, talking to me. I like that. The haikus are really cool.

[Andy L · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this collection of words from BSG.
He is very funny but at the same time his life seems really bleak. Brandon is very complicated and very lonely and he articulates his sense of worthlessness in a seemingly enjoyable manner.

[Dan Edelstein · Rating 5 out of 5]

learned that:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TSzHvR...

[P.H. · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was surprised by this book.

[Jeff · Rating 5 out of 5]

yea this is how most people i know feel i think

[RD Morgan · Rating 1 out of 5]

I'm not really sure what to say here. So I won't say anything else.

[Christina · Rating 5 out of 5]

There's a lot of suffocating in space.