Is God Disappointed in Me?: Removing Shame from a Gospel of Grace

by Kurt Francom, Brad Pelo (foreword)

As early as Primary, you may have absorbed this confusing "God loves us....but He's so disappointed in you".

For a religion that preaches hope, the message of "do more" often seems to win out.

With so many programs, assignments, callings, commandments, standards, and honor codes, how can you keep up?

The adversary highlights the shame you feel when you constantly fall short. Do you feel only heaviness as you consider the Latter-Day Saint path to exaltation? How can God not be disappointed in someone like me?

The gospel was never meant to be exhausting, and God has never been disappointed in you.

God isn't frustrated with you, and He isn't looking to condemn you. Many are trying to gain strength by doing more, but true strength is found in turning to God.

In this book, you'll gain an understanding of the wants your heart, not your behaviorWhy you need commandments and covenants, when God already offers you so much graceHow God's acceptance and love propels you in to a relationship with HimSatan's most powerful tool is shame, and it controls you more that you realizeGod is strengthening us by revealing our identityStep into the pages of this book and discover a new relationship with a God who waits to shower you with love and approval. If you're a Latter-Day Saint, it's time for you to experience the hope, power, and redemption the gospel of Jesus Christ offers.

Genres: Religion, Nonfiction, Lds, Self Help, Church

180 pages, Kindle Edition

Published January 25, 2024

Reviews

[Kjersti Green · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was so good for my soul. I thought I’d go into it and learn that no, God is probably not disappointed in me, but I got so so much more than that - most importantly, tools to help me be a better parent.

[Liz Linford · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish I had read this 30 years ago. This book gave me a new understanding of God’s love for me. It gave me a whole new perspective on parenting and relationships. Can I have a do-over please? 😀

[Cassie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this book and will read it again I’m sure. It is a reminder of our unchanging value in God’s eyes. It is a reminder that love, not behaviors, should be our focus, then behaviors follow because they are motivated by love. Our performance of those behaviors, however, do not determine our worth or the love God has for us, that is unchanging.

[Jeff Borders · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book. Favorite chapter: The Raging Love of God!

[Emilie · Rating 5 out of 5]

In 'Is God Disappointed in Me?' by Kurt Francum, the depth of insight into faith, grace, and God's love profoundly resonated with me, echoing sentiments I've long felt but struggled to express. Francum, through his book, has a remarkable gift for giving voice to complex emotional and spiritual dilemmas, articulating thoughts and feelings that many of us grapple with yet find difficult to articulate. His exploration into themes like the misinterpretation of divine disappointment, the significance of approaching scripture with love, and the emphasis on understanding God's character through a lens of compassion, rather than judgment, speaks volumes to readers seeking a deeper connection with their spirituality.

What makes Francum's work stand out is his ability to challenge readers to think beyond their current understanding without demanding conformity to his viewpoints. The book is filled with moments that prompted me to reflect deeply, consider different perspectives, and engage with ideas that I'm still pondering over. While not every concept aligned perfectly with my beliefs, the majority resonated strongly, offering new layers of understanding to my faith journey.

Moreover, Francum's insights into parenting with grace and tackling the misconception that shame should be a component of our spiritual life were particularly impactful. This book is more than just a theological discourse; it's a guide to finding self-love through God's unconditional love, challenging yet comforting, and always enlightening.

Overall, 'Is God Disappointed in Me?' is a compelling read that not only provides clarity and comfort but also encourages profound reflection and open-hearted dialogue with our beliefs. Francum's ability to articulate deeply felt but often unspoken thoughts is truly remarkable, making this quick read book a must-read for those navigating their spiritual path.

[Lillian Angelovic · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must-read for Latter-day Saints!

Understanding the concepts in this book is vital to living joyfully in the gospel of Jesus Christ instead of living in shame and fear. Kurt approaches shame, grace, and motivation in a relatable way and offers incredible hope for those of us who have lived with our own disappointment and believe God feels the same.

As a Latter-day Saint raised in an orthodox home, I absorbed the shame of imperfection and could not move past the fear of perceived failure to build a more-than-superficial relationship with God. This book can help us see a better way.

Every would-be disciple and especially every parent and leader needs to read this book and embrace the paradigm it presents—for themselves and those they lead. As the gospel of Jesus Christ always does, it will change the world.

[Abby Alquicira · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was intrigued by Francom, given his "Leading Saints" podcast. But the interest turned into a tiresome reading experience. I swear, at one point the man wrote identity 15 times on ONE page. When you're reading the book out loud to your spouse it becomes quite a tongue-twister. I think Francom could have done well with another editor. I felt this constant repetition of words made it hard to focus on the spiritual aspect of the book.

Besides that, I enjoyed the book! I like his view on the LDS religion and appreciate his experience. It was just difficult to push past and enjoy his writing when it made me get stuck on the surface of the page. I hope I'm not murdered in the comment section haha. I know Francom has a good following in the LDS community. But again, it was a nice book. It is refreshing to hear that there is more to life than worrying if God is disappointed. Nothing can take away a human's divine spiritual being.

[Michael · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a great book and reminder that God really does love us unconditionally. It is amazing how much shame and guilt was pretty standard in our LDS teachings while growing up and unfortunately, some still today because we are trying to break the mold. Luckily, I believe we are moving away from it and learning to love more with grace. I am 100% convinced that we really don't know how much we are truly loved by our Heavenly Father.

Kurt did an amazing job of helping me recognize and providing numerous reminders that even though I may be basing much of my life and even my children's lives on actions, that there is a lot more out there through love and grace. I look forward to implementing this immediately, and as Kurt mentioned, likely failing over and over because we are human, but it gives me something to strive to improve and become more understanding. To LOVE!

[MykeWeber · Rating 5 out of 5]

There are three books that have been profoundly pivotal in my quest for a relationship with God. First, Stephen Robinson’s BELIEVING CHRIST, second, James Farrell’s THE PEACEGIVER and now this one - IS GOD DISAPPOINTED IN ME? I’m going to misquote William Paul Young who said, “It took me [75] years to wipe the face of my father off the face of God.” And, I hope it won’t take my children nearly so long to wipe my face from their perception of Deity. I have every confidence that what I’ve learned in this book will help with that! Kurt Francom has taught me that I should have been building relationships instead of imposing expectations. It’s a hard pill to swallow as I look back on my parenting. But, I don’t feel at all beat up by Francom’s book, only filled with joy, possibility, and the love and grace of God! Whatever else you do, let this book bless you!

[Travis Standley · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed the reminder on staying centered on our identity. Shame is harmful. I’m glad to know this. I struggled early on with the author’s thoughts about the behavior and heart continuum…and then I remembered it’s a continuum. So that helps. I think we do focus on behavior issues more often than getting to the root of the problem - the heart of an issue.
Love is the answer. Identify is key. Purpose is powerful medicine against shame.

[Becca · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow! An incredible read! For those of you who haven’t read this book, you have to do it! My favorite chapter is behaviors versus heart, closely followed by grace for grace! Kurt Francom demonstrates how we can remove our shame from a gospel of grace (hence the second half of the book title)! Kurt also explains to us that no matter how much we struggle, god has never been and never will be disappointed in us! I’m going to reread this book!

[Lachlan Stephenson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was amazing! It really opened my eyes and showed me Heavenly Fathers perspective on his children. He is never disappointed in us. His love for us is never less. When we fall away from him, his heart is even more full for us. I learned so much from this book and am so grateful my Bishop gifted this book to me.

[Jason · Rating 5 out of 5]

Insightful book touching on topics of unconditional love, God not being disappointed in us, how to balance what he calls heart and behaviors in the Gospel, how to give grace to others rather than have an expectations/outcomes mentality.

[Veronica Lewis · Rating 4 out of 5]

Overall uplifting and hopeful.

I liked learning from this book, and I could feel the passion the author has for the message he shares. My only complaint is that it could be pretty repetitive throughout the book. I would recommend this to others for sure.

[Lacey · Rating 4 out of 5]

We all need to learn or be reminded that God is not disappointed in us! He can’t be! Disappointment is felt when expectations are different than what you expect, and if God knows everything then he already knows what to expect! There are a lot of good points in this book, and I recommend it!!

[Jason · Rating 2 out of 5]

It was okay. If you want a fireside in a book format this is for you. I don’t think it will be helpful for those who struggle with depression and self worth or have trauma. But if you are having a bad day this will probably cheer you up.

[Erin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow. What a great book! Thank you, Kurt, for putting all of these thoughts into a book. I loved every chapter, and chapter 2 was definitely my favorite. I feel like I am more prepared to have a much better relationship with my Heavenly Father and Savior after reading this.

[Jackie Bowman · Rating 5 out of 5]

life changing

The beautiful thoughts in this book, about the true nature of God, planted in your mind, will start to grow in your heart, opening your eyes to a much grander and hoped view of Heaven.

[Emma · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was expecting something a little more life changing based on what I had heard about the book, but I think my lack of a life-changing experience was because I already share a lot of the beliefs and views explained in this book. Still really good.

[Christina Haag · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love that the author addresses the shame that people often feel in their relationship with God and how this is not something He wants for us. I don’t know how I feel about his projection onto parenting but I really enjoyed his anecdotes and thoughts in regards to our Heavenly Father.

[April · Rating 5 out of 5]

Paradigm shifting read. I had to take it slow to give myself time to digest what I was taking in, but I absolutely love it.

[J. Jones · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent! Very meaningful and thought provoking.

[Greg Hutchins · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this book thought provoking. It made me rethink my view of God and how he sees me. Worth the read.

[Michaela · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow. This book should be required reading. Such a good reframe from who we think God is.

[John Shaw · Rating 5 out of 5]

A powerful new approach to the restored Gospel of Jesus Christ

[SHERI · Rating 5 out of 5]

An excellent book! Learning to accept God’s Love & Grace, and learning how to give ourselves grace, especially when we fall short time & time again

[LeAnn M · Rating 5 out of 5]

excellent

This book helped me look at my relationship with God in a whole new light. What a wonderful book.

Thank you @Kutt Francom!

[Alissa · Rating 4 out of 5]

There is some good stuff in here. It has provided me with some things to ponder.

[Trent Mikesell · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really gained so many insights from this and appreciated his focus on relationships and mercy.

[Megan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not quite what I imagined it would be about and not as practical as I thought it would be, but I did like parts of it.