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i fell in love with hope
Goodreads Choice Award
Nominee for Readers' Favorite Young Adult Fiction (2022)LIMITIERT: Erste Auflage mit wunderschönem Farbschnitt
Ein Krankenhaus, vier todkranke Jugendliche und die Hoffnung, die immer bei ihnen ist. Poetisch, sanft, schmerzhaft direkt und voller roher Gefühle: Die TikTok-Sensation auf Deutsch!
Nach einem unfassbaren Verlust hat Sam sich fest vorgenommen, nie wieder zu lieben. Im Krankenhaus lernt Sam Neo kennen, einen todkranken, schlecht gelaunten Jungen, der eigentlich nur schreiben möchte, Sony, ein Mädchen mit nur einem Lungenflügel, Coeur, einen sanften Riesen mit einem versagenden Herzen. Gemeinsam versuchen sie, sich zurückzuholen, was die Krankheiten ihnen genommen haben, zu erleben, was sie nicht wie andere Jugendliche erleben dürfen. Die Freundschaft hält sie zusammen, und doch haben sie die Endlichkeit stets vor Augen. Als Hikari neu auf die Station kommt, verändert sich alles: Sam erkennt in Hikari die Seele einer alten Liebe wieder und der Frieden gerät ins Wanken …
Ein Krankenhaus, vier todkranke Jugendliche und die Hoffnung, die immer bei ihnen ist. Poetisch, sanft, schmerzhaft direkt und voller roher Gefühle: Die TikTok-Sensation auf Deutsch!
Nach einem unfassbaren Verlust hat Sam sich fest vorgenommen, nie wieder zu lieben. Im Krankenhaus lernt Sam Neo kennen, einen todkranken, schlecht gelaunten Jungen, der eigentlich nur schreiben möchte, Sony, ein Mädchen mit nur einem Lungenflügel, Coeur, einen sanften Riesen mit einem versagenden Herzen. Gemeinsam versuchen sie, sich zurückzuholen, was die Krankheiten ihnen genommen haben, zu erleben, was sie nicht wie andere Jugendliche erleben dürfen. Die Freundschaft hält sie zusammen, und doch haben sie die Endlichkeit stets vor Augen. Als Hikari neu auf die Station kommt, verändert sich alles: Sam erkennt in Hikari die Seele einer alten Liebe wieder und der Frieden gerät ins Wanken …
420 pages
First published August 1, 2022
6346 people are currently reading
178004 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 6,235 reviews
May 14, 2025
➳
∞/5 stars
This was my third time reading this book, and honestly? It wrecked me all over again. I sobbed just as hard as I did the first time, maybe even harder because I knew what was coming, and yet, it still hit like a truck. There’s something so painfully comforting about this story. It breaks my heart every single time, but in the softest, most beautiful way possible.
I think what makes it so special is how deeply it connects. No matter how many times I revisit it, it still pulls me in like it’s the first time. The characters, the emotions, the little moments, they just feel so real. It’s one of those books that you carry with you long after you’ve turned the last page.
And even though I end up crying every time (like, full-on ugly crying), I keep coming back because it means something to me.
If there’s one book I’d recommend to someone, whether they’re going through something or just want a story that’ll make them feel, it would 100% be this one. It’s that rare kind of book that breaks you a little but somehow manages to hold you, too.
I honestly have no idea how to write this without getting all teared up again but yeah here we goo. This book undeniably holds the title of one of the saddest tales I've ever encountered. Its perfection extends across every facet , the eloquent writing, the compelling story, the immersive narration, and the impeccably crafted plot. It's a literary masterpiece that resonates with a profound and moving beauty.
➳ ABOUT THE BOOK
The book explores various themes like illness, time, disease, death, and loneliness. It vividly portrays how, amidst life's harshness, some people discover an unexpected refuge within the walls of a hospital.
"I have heard my mother say it a lot of times that the hospital walls have heard more prayers, i love you's and im sorry than any living human being ever will and while reading this book i understood why she always said that."
This book talks about the loneliness one must feel while being confined to the hospital room where they've no one to go to talk to or even share what they're going through honestly only thing that holds them is hope. I always thought gratefulness is something that keeps people alive but no i was wrong it always will be hope. Hope might be the only reason some of the people are alive, hopefully I'll get better soon, hopefully they'd love me someday, hopefully I'll get over this hope and just hope.
Being sick teaches you that reasons are just poor attempts at justifying misfortune. They give you an illusion of why, but why is a loud question and death is quiet. Do you know what disease is disease is soo greedy, it takes pieces of you till you no longer recognize yourself.
This book is about hope, passion, kindness and resilience. . It revolves around four friends who are suffering from different illnesses knowing one day they'd die but again there's one thing holding them and again it's hope.
The book emphasizes the critical importance of mental health, highlighting the significance of being considerate since we never truly grasp the battles others may be facing. While discussions about mental health have become more prevalent, the narrative underscores the pervasive lack of understanding surrounding its true significance.
It serves as a poignant reminder that our words hold immense power, capable of either pushing someone to the edge or instilling deep-seated insecurities. The book also delves into the sensitive topic of bullying, shedding light on how its impact extends far beyond childhood, shaping one's entire perception of humanity. It underscores the profound and lasting effects that bullying can have on an individual, emphasizing the need for empathy and understanding in our interactions with others.
Soo the least i could say is, it takes absolutely nothing to be nice and kind to people or should i say it won't be soo hard to be a human sometime. Would it????
°˖➴ Overall, if you're in the mood for a book that will stir your emotions and lead you to shed tears until your eyes are red, this might be the right choice for you 💌
➳ QUOTES I LOVED -
➳ “People have stories written on them, around them, in their past, in their futures.”
➳ “If there’s one nice thing about books and movies, it’s that they can make you forget for a while. Forgetting is an essential part of grief.”
➳ “But sometimes parents love the idea of their child more than the person they are.”
➳ “Losing something unsaid is simpler than losing something you loved enough to name.”
➳ “It’s not always easy to do the right thing. If you can look back and see the mistake you made, you’re not a coward.”
➳ “Grief can be destructive, a parasite that needs expulsion, water rising till you become an overflowing dam. But like most terrible, necessary things, it can be shared. Time is kind with grief. It takes it from you, piece by piece, till the sorrow is a song you remember the beat of but no longer hear.”
-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈
୨ৎ pre-read:
⤿ started - March 2, 2025
reading this again bc, I love pain 💔
₊⊹⁀➴“Loneliness is a soft-spoken abuser, singing lullabies — you are alone, you are nothing, you are empty."
This was my third time reading this book, and honestly? It wrecked me all over again. I sobbed just as hard as I did the first time, maybe even harder because I knew what was coming, and yet, it still hit like a truck. There’s something so painfully comforting about this story. It breaks my heart every single time, but in the softest, most beautiful way possible.
I think what makes it so special is how deeply it connects. No matter how many times I revisit it, it still pulls me in like it’s the first time. The characters, the emotions, the little moments, they just feel so real. It’s one of those books that you carry with you long after you’ve turned the last page.
And even though I end up crying every time (like, full-on ugly crying), I keep coming back because it means something to me.
If there’s one book I’d recommend to someone, whether they’re going through something or just want a story that’ll make them feel, it would 100% be this one. It’s that rare kind of book that breaks you a little but somehow manages to hold you, too.
I honestly have no idea how to write this without getting all teared up again but yeah here we goo. This book undeniably holds the title of one of the saddest tales I've ever encountered. Its perfection extends across every facet , the eloquent writing, the compelling story, the immersive narration, and the impeccably crafted plot. It's a literary masterpiece that resonates with a profound and moving beauty.
➳ ABOUT THE BOOK
The book explores various themes like illness, time, disease, death, and loneliness. It vividly portrays how, amidst life's harshness, some people discover an unexpected refuge within the walls of a hospital.
"I have heard my mother say it a lot of times that the hospital walls have heard more prayers, i love you's and im sorry than any living human being ever will and while reading this book i understood why she always said that."
This book talks about the loneliness one must feel while being confined to the hospital room where they've no one to go to talk to or even share what they're going through honestly only thing that holds them is hope. I always thought gratefulness is something that keeps people alive but no i was wrong it always will be hope. Hope might be the only reason some of the people are alive, hopefully I'll get better soon, hopefully they'd love me someday, hopefully I'll get over this hope and just hope.
Being sick teaches you that reasons are just poor attempts at justifying misfortune. They give you an illusion of why, but why is a loud question and death is quiet. Do you know what disease is disease is soo greedy, it takes pieces of you till you no longer recognize yourself.
This book is about hope, passion, kindness and resilience. . It revolves around four friends who are suffering from different illnesses knowing one day they'd die but again there's one thing holding them and again it's hope.
The book emphasizes the critical importance of mental health, highlighting the significance of being considerate since we never truly grasp the battles others may be facing. While discussions about mental health have become more prevalent, the narrative underscores the pervasive lack of understanding surrounding its true significance.
It serves as a poignant reminder that our words hold immense power, capable of either pushing someone to the edge or instilling deep-seated insecurities. The book also delves into the sensitive topic of bullying, shedding light on how its impact extends far beyond childhood, shaping one's entire perception of humanity. It underscores the profound and lasting effects that bullying can have on an individual, emphasizing the need for empathy and understanding in our interactions with others.
Soo the least i could say is, it takes absolutely nothing to be nice and kind to people or should i say it won't be soo hard to be a human sometime. Would it????
°˖➴ Overall, if you're in the mood for a book that will stir your emotions and lead you to shed tears until your eyes are red, this might be the right choice for you 💌
➳ QUOTES I LOVED -
➳ “People have stories written on them, around them, in their past, in their futures.”
➳ “If there’s one nice thing about books and movies, it’s that they can make you forget for a while. Forgetting is an essential part of grief.”
➳ “But sometimes parents love the idea of their child more than the person they are.”
➳ “Losing something unsaid is simpler than losing something you loved enough to name.”
➳ “It’s not always easy to do the right thing. If you can look back and see the mistake you made, you’re not a coward.”
➳ “Grief can be destructive, a parasite that needs expulsion, water rising till you become an overflowing dam. But like most terrible, necessary things, it can be shared. Time is kind with grief. It takes it from you, piece by piece, till the sorrow is a song you remember the beat of but no longer hear.”
-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈
୨ৎ pre-read:
⤿ started - March 2, 2025
reading this again bc, I love pain 💔
August 29, 2022
I am not a hater nor am I a fan of the author—I actually have no idea who they are. I’m just here to say how I felt about a book I’d heard a lot about and was pretty excited to read.
Boy oh boy was this book not my cup of tea at all.
From prose to plot it showed the author’s inexperience. Self-published books written by young people can be very good( I’ve read many), but this one had all the hallmarks of what makes people skeptical of reading self published stories: poor editing, flimsy plot, and weak writing. I think the author has the bones here, and clearly has narrative ability, but this was a weak novel.
I Fell in Love with Hope is a young adult, found-family contemporary novel that reads like a Pinterest board of those “excerpts from a novel I’ll never write” prose inspiration images all strung together to form a semi-cohesive story. While it’s clear the author has a lot of passion and poured their heart into it, on a craft basis, it’s not where it needs to be. It could’ve used more editing, or, as Stephen King says, “time to marinate”. There’s pieces there that have the potential to be really good, but they were all bogged down by purple prose that obscured what was being talked about to the point it was confusing.
Normally I don’t mind, or critique, prose at all when reading stuff, but as a contemporary novel where nothing really happens, the book relied heavily on it to provide interest. Because, on a plot basis, without the John Green-esque poetic musings of the characters or the extremely metaphorical descriptions, the story isn’t particularly intriguing.
There was something else about the prose that kept annoying me and I couldn’t figure out what. Then I realized: it’s all so *quotable*. Now that I know the author runs a Tiktok account, it all makes sense: every line felt like it was meant to be put in a “quote video” or whatever. Everything was wrapped in so many layers of metaphor it was impossible to parse. There also weren’t many “service sentences”; everything felt like it was meant to be a gut punch to the point where nothing felt like one. I find this to be a particularly young/immature way of writing—in an attempt to make everything meaningful, meaning is erased, because they don’t know how to properly utilize poetic writing. For example:
“‘The last time I was on that bridge, the stars fell,’ I say.”
Like, this line is interesting. On its own it could stand pretty well. I believe, when used intentionally, hyper-poetic prose can really work. But when the entire page reads like this, and the description of the event is also described like this, the already obscured meaning loses what it brings to the table because it’s literal description.
Allow me to explain: It’s literal because their words describe the event like it’s written. Metaphor stops reading like a metaphor if it’s reflecting back on a similar metaphor…if that makes sense. If the event in reference were described more jarringly/simply, this would work, and vice versa. But because both sections are hyper-poetic, it’s confusing, it reads like someone dumped a thesaurus on the page, and it veers away from unique and starts turning the prose more and more purple. ESPECIALLY BECAUSE EVERYONE TALKS LIKE THIS. LITERALLY EVERYONE. ALWAYS ALL THE TIME.
That being said, I think the author has a lot of good kernels. They clearly know how to craft a nice sentence. I’m confident that, with time, they will learn when and how to use those for impactful prose.
I’m interested to see how the author grows. But, as it stands, I Fell in Love with Hope is not a strong story.
Edit: other reviews have discussed the harmful portrayal of mental illness and such, and I completely agree. I didn’t mention it in my review because it was a whole other can of worms to get into, but it’s not good, and frankly harmful.
Boy oh boy was this book not my cup of tea at all.
From prose to plot it showed the author’s inexperience. Self-published books written by young people can be very good( I’ve read many), but this one had all the hallmarks of what makes people skeptical of reading self published stories: poor editing, flimsy plot, and weak writing. I think the author has the bones here, and clearly has narrative ability, but this was a weak novel.
I Fell in Love with Hope is a young adult, found-family contemporary novel that reads like a Pinterest board of those “excerpts from a novel I’ll never write” prose inspiration images all strung together to form a semi-cohesive story. While it’s clear the author has a lot of passion and poured their heart into it, on a craft basis, it’s not where it needs to be. It could’ve used more editing, or, as Stephen King says, “time to marinate”. There’s pieces there that have the potential to be really good, but they were all bogged down by purple prose that obscured what was being talked about to the point it was confusing.
Normally I don’t mind, or critique, prose at all when reading stuff, but as a contemporary novel where nothing really happens, the book relied heavily on it to provide interest. Because, on a plot basis, without the John Green-esque poetic musings of the characters or the extremely metaphorical descriptions, the story isn’t particularly intriguing.
There was something else about the prose that kept annoying me and I couldn’t figure out what. Then I realized: it’s all so *quotable*. Now that I know the author runs a Tiktok account, it all makes sense: every line felt like it was meant to be put in a “quote video” or whatever. Everything was wrapped in so many layers of metaphor it was impossible to parse. There also weren’t many “service sentences”; everything felt like it was meant to be a gut punch to the point where nothing felt like one. I find this to be a particularly young/immature way of writing—in an attempt to make everything meaningful, meaning is erased, because they don’t know how to properly utilize poetic writing. For example:
“‘The last time I was on that bridge, the stars fell,’ I say.”
Like, this line is interesting. On its own it could stand pretty well. I believe, when used intentionally, hyper-poetic prose can really work. But when the entire page reads like this, and the description of the event is also described like this, the already obscured meaning loses what it brings to the table because it’s literal description.
Allow me to explain: It’s literal because their words describe the event like it’s written. Metaphor stops reading like a metaphor if it’s reflecting back on a similar metaphor…if that makes sense. If the event in reference were described more jarringly/simply, this would work, and vice versa. But because both sections are hyper-poetic, it’s confusing, it reads like someone dumped a thesaurus on the page, and it veers away from unique and starts turning the prose more and more purple. ESPECIALLY BECAUSE EVERYONE TALKS LIKE THIS. LITERALLY EVERYONE. ALWAYS ALL THE TIME.
That being said, I think the author has a lot of good kernels. They clearly know how to craft a nice sentence. I’m confident that, with time, they will learn when and how to use those for impactful prose.
I’m interested to see how the author grows. But, as it stands, I Fell in Love with Hope is not a strong story.
Edit: other reviews have discussed the harmful portrayal of mental illness and such, and I completely agree. I didn’t mention it in my review because it was a whole other can of worms to get into, but it’s not good, and frankly harmful.
Read
July 25, 2022I wrote this book.
It’s okay I guess.
Hope you like it.
It’s okay I guess.
Hope you like it.
July 25, 2022
I am beyond grateful that I was able to read this absolute masterpiece before its official release date.
Lancali tells the story of a group of teens who are doing their best to cheat death— but even the bravest know it is inescapable. And so, the story focuses on friendship and love, and follows these beloved characters throughout their adventures, up until their final one. Can they leave their legacy behind?
There’s tragedy, there’s romance, there’s mystery, there’s humor, and lots of Shakespeare references.
The writing style is beautiful. Fans of Madeline Miller and Victoria Schwab? This writing is for you. It’s poetic, it’s complex, and an absolute joy to read.
Overall, this story is beautiful. It destroyed me, but I would read it again and again.
Lancali tells the story of a group of teens who are doing their best to cheat death— but even the bravest know it is inescapable. And so, the story focuses on friendship and love, and follows these beloved characters throughout their adventures, up until their final one. Can they leave their legacy behind?
There’s tragedy, there’s romance, there’s mystery, there’s humor, and lots of Shakespeare references.
The writing style is beautiful. Fans of Madeline Miller and Victoria Schwab? This writing is for you. It’s poetic, it’s complex, and an absolute joy to read.
Overall, this story is beautiful. It destroyed me, but I would read it again and again.
July 25, 2022
This book made my eyes burn… you’ll love it
September 20, 2024
justice for neo/coeur.
⸺ first. this was all beautiful writing, with no substance. honestly, i love beautiful writing. and i more than admit that. but only if it has something else going for it ⸺ characters, romance, development, amazing plot twists, anything. but this? it was nothing but depression all the way through. and ngl i went in expecting that but what i wasn’t expecting was how mind-numbing it was gonna be? every line was just so “quotable” for no reason and it was so annoying, because no teenager speaks like that!! absolutely no one!! i just wanted to say shut the fuck up.
⸺ second. i felt so disconnected from the main character and the writing itself tbh, and i only ever cared about two of the side characters ⸺ neo and coeur, my beloveds. they both deserved everything in the world, and they just needed to be happy and ugh i’m sad. but i also loved their story so much.
⸺ third. did i mention, the mc has such a huge savior complex and it really made me hate her even more.
⸺ fourth. the way mental health was portrayed in this was so fucking bad it made my heart hurt. like, one of the side characters, neo (my beloved ❤️🩹 he deserved so much more <3) had an eating disorder, and he was abused so badly by his father. but i felt the entire issue was disregarded badly by the author. i don’t care that it was written, that the author made them suffer ⸺ i love suffering and pain, so bring it on. but the way i felt it was almost romanticized and harmfully portrayed? i hated that part of it.
⸺ fifth. the ending, what the fuck was that.
i feel like this book was written just to be hyped up on bookstagram and booktok because it has “gorgeous prose”. yes it does. did it really end up being something meaningful, like, at all? no. not in the least. now i’d like to bleach this book from my head thanks.
⸺ first. this was all beautiful writing, with no substance. honestly, i love beautiful writing. and i more than admit that. but only if it has something else going for it ⸺ characters, romance, development, amazing plot twists, anything. but this? it was nothing but depression all the way through. and ngl i went in expecting that but what i wasn’t expecting was how mind-numbing it was gonna be? every line was just so “quotable” for no reason and it was so annoying, because no teenager speaks like that!! absolutely no one!! i just wanted to say shut the fuck up.
⸺ second. i felt so disconnected from the main character and the writing itself tbh, and i only ever cared about two of the side characters ⸺ neo and coeur, my beloveds. they both deserved everything in the world, and they just needed to be happy and ugh i’m sad. but i also loved their story so much.
⸺ third. did i mention, the mc has such a huge savior complex and it really made me hate her even more.
⸺ fourth. the way mental health was portrayed in this was so fucking bad it made my heart hurt. like, one of the side characters, neo (my beloved ❤️🩹 he deserved so much more <3) had an eating disorder, and he was abused so badly by his father. but i felt the entire issue was disregarded badly by the author. i don’t care that it was written, that the author made them suffer ⸺ i love suffering and pain, so bring it on. but the way i felt it was almost romanticized and harmfully portrayed? i hated that part of it.
⸺ fifth. the ending, what the fuck was that.
i feel like this book was written just to be hyped up on bookstagram and booktok because it has “gorgeous prose”. yes it does. did it really end up being something meaningful, like, at all? no. not in the least. now i’d like to bleach this book from my head thanks.
August 26, 2022
This book was so disappointing. I’ve loved Lancali for two years and have read her fanfics but this book was hard to get through. The characters are suppose to be young adults but they act like their 15. The romantic relationships felt forced to me and I honestly could not understand why Sam was into Hikari.
AND OH GOD THE WRITING. It was the worst part. As someone else mentioned, this book tries too hard to be quotable. Every. Line. Tries to be quotable and most of my annotations are just me telling the characters to speak normally for once. The dialogue is so unrealistic and the constant poetic language is distracting. Sometimes less is more and that goes for purple prose. Description should be balanced. It’s fine to toss in a few metaphors but not every sentence in a book needs to stand out.
I get that this book is really personal to Lou but I don’t think it was a good idea for her to make it her debut. This book feels rushed and I think she should have spent more time with it.
I think I’m going to repurpose my copy as fire kindling.
AND OH GOD THE WRITING. It was the worst part. As someone else mentioned, this book tries too hard to be quotable. Every. Line. Tries to be quotable and most of my annotations are just me telling the characters to speak normally for once. The dialogue is so unrealistic and the constant poetic language is distracting. Sometimes less is more and that goes for purple prose. Description should be balanced. It’s fine to toss in a few metaphors but not every sentence in a book needs to stand out.
I get that this book is really personal to Lou but I don’t think it was a good idea for her to make it her debut. This book feels rushed and I think she should have spent more time with it.
I think I’m going to repurpose my copy as fire kindling.
February 18, 2023
R u kidding me...
April 1, 2024
Unfortunately this is a no for me. There's no plot and I just don't care enough to try and force read this.
DNF @45%
————— ୨୧ —————
🫣🥹 Here we go again.
ETA- I read a good portion of the foreword this morning and closed it again lmao. I am not prepared for that kind of pain today. 😭
‿︵‿︵‿୨ ୧‿︵‿︵‿
My library just dropped this in my Libby app- I'm ready to be crushed! 🥹💔
DNF @45%
————— ୨୧ —————
🫣🥹 Here we go again.
ETA- I read a good portion of the foreword this morning and closed it again lmao. I am not prepared for that kind of pain today. 😭
‿︵‿︵‿୨ ୧‿︵‿︵‿
My library just dropped this in my Libby app- I'm ready to be crushed! 🥹💔
July 10, 2023
**DISCLAIMER**
THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS.
The following review reflects my experience reading the ORIGINAL release of the book back in 2022. I cannot and will not comment on the June 2023 release with Simon & Schuster as I have not read that version. I do not know how or if the rerelease differs from the original release. Please keep that in mind as you read, and feel free to point out anything that has since changed compared to my review!
TRIGGER WARNINGS
- Mentions of suicide/self-harm
- Mentions of eating disorders
- Mentions of physical abuse
- Mentions of pedophilia
Please read at your own discretion.
***
Writing Style:
The biggest reason I nearly dnf-ed this book twice was the writing style. I’m sure you’ve seen numerous reviewers say this already, but it rings true: this book was written as if its only intention was to be quoted. The writing style was less of a writing style and more of improper use of grammar. Some sentences were just fragments. Others were incomprehensible run-ons. Despite the author’s intent to be “musical”, the grammatical inaccuracies happening on EVERY PAGE did the opposite effect. I found that there was little variation in sentence structure, especially as more fragments were introduced. So many lines were just so short, and all the ones following them were short too. It created this very robotic, monotonous feel. On the contrary, some sentences were run-ons, and ones so long that I had to read them multiple times to figure out what they were supposed to mean. They lacked commas in the proper places.
In general, the writing was incredibly naive. The plot was buried under purple prose, distracting from whatever was happening. There were countless times where dialogue would be split with paragraphs and paragraphs of monologues, and when a character would speak again, I would have no clue who was talking or what they were even responding to.
It felt distinctly like a thesaurus was dumped onto every page.
Characterization:
Maybe this one’s just me, but the characters were just super stereotypical to me.
- the giant athletic boy who’s actually a softy? Seen that before.
- The dark and broody boy with daddy issues? I can name quite a few
- The conventionally attractive loud girl whose only qualities are conventional attractiveness and an overwhelming presence? Totally hasn’t been done before.
- And this last one just rubs me the wrong way… The yellow-haired, yellow-eyed (???) suicidal Japanese girl… huh?
They all felt super underdeveloped, and especially so given their lack of depth due to cliches and harmful stereotypes.
Honestly, because of their lack of depth, I felt like I was reading about the same character over and over again. This was especially true when apparently almost every character had some kind of affinity for writing. (And because every character was either a reader or a writer… I felt like I was reading about the author, you know? Though she claims to separate herself from her characters, they were all painfully resembling of her, and that furthered my feelings of it seeming like I was reading about one character over and over again.)
These characters didn’t really have personalities beyond the brief things I mentioned in their stereotypes list. C was just aloof and gentle, Neo was just mean and poetic, Sony was just chaotic and loud, and Hikari was just Shakespeare quotes and tears. None of the characters developed beyond this.
And then there’s Sam. God, they’re a whole other issue.
Again, SPOILER WARNING.
We find out at the end of the book that Sam is the physical incarnation of the hospital. (Which, in my opinion, was a really confusing, rushed, and mediocre twist.) Their entire drive in the story was wanting to know why people suffer and die. Sam had this awfully annoying savior complex in which they frequently insisted they wanted to save everyone…
…and then never actually did anything to help. Despite the savior complex, they also claimed they weren’t allowed to interfere. It just doesn’t make sense. If the hospital can create its own physical body, be able to talk and touch and feel and love, then why couldn’t Sam interfere with the patients’ diseases or other issues? Their selective complacency is exactly what killed their friends. Sam never told anybody about Neo’s ED or abuse. They never told anybody that C and Sony were overexerting themselves. They never told anybody that Hikari was suicidal and was cutting herself. Obviously it’s not like Sam could’ve cured them, but Jesus, they could have TOLD someone!
It would have been better if Sam wasn’t the hospital’s incarnation. It just created a massive plot hole and lots of inconsistencies.
Not only that, but I just couldn’t stand them as a narrator. I get that the book was supposed to be heavy, but at the same time, it was supposed to be a book about hope. And for supposedly being about hope, Sam’s internal (and external) monologues were just chock FULL of melodrama and apathy. Their whole “I’m not sure I’m capable of feeling” schtick was odd.
Long story short, I couldn’t stand Sam, and they are probably the most inconsistent, annoying narrator/character I’ve ever encountered.
Dialogue:
Hinging on the last section, the characters’ lack of depth also affected the dialogue.
Every character, save for Eric (who is the only character I like), spoke like it was poetry night at their local coffee shop. They all had such embellished airs to them, speaking in metaphors and, somehow, purple prose. It pulled me out of the story and created an incredibly unrealistic feel. I already said these characters had little depth, but this just made it worse considering they all spoke in this equally obnoxious manner.
This especially applies to Hikari and Sam. Their interactions were just bizarre and oftentimes incomprehensible.
Sometimes the characters would say normal things, and for a moment my hopes would increase, but I would immediately deflate when someone spoke in poetry again. For being young adults, they were overly philosophical. They’re simply too young to be speaking they way they are; they don’t have the life experience for the type of things they say. On the other hand, they were also all incredibly childish, though I can sort of understand that part — they’re teenagers whose childhoods have been taken from them. I get it, but their childishness juxtaposed against their apparent proclivity for philosophy didn’t quite match.
Mental/Physical Illness:
I cannot stress enough just how dangerously this book portrays both physical and mental illness.
Not only does it promote self-destructive behavior (see: running away from the hospital to “live a little”), it uses their illnesses as plot devices.
Before I get into the dangerous portrayals, I’ll explain what I mean for the latter. The reasons it felt as though the illnesses were just plot devices was because they weren’t important until they were, if that makes sense. For example, there are moments where the characters are so obviously doing things that should be nearly impossible given the severity of their illnesses, but unless the scene was specifically ABOUT their illnesses, they were just… fine.
But lets get into why they were dangerous portrayals:
They get glossed over. Everyone ignores everyone else’s obvious signs of decay. Their diseases get swept to the sidelines.
Until, of course, it’s all too late and they start dying rapidly.
I mentioned earlier that Sam never helped anyone, but this applies to all of them, honestly. Both Sam and Hikari knew about Neo’s ED and never told a staff member. EVERYONE saw Hikari’s fresh self-harm wounds, but instead of, I don’t know, getting her help, Sam KISSES HER, and then proceeds to cut their hair. HUH?
That REALLY bothered me. Hikari was sobbing on the floor, bleeding profusely, hair falling out because of her disease, yet Sam decides “ah yes! This is the perfect moment to confess my feelings to her since I hurt her feelings earlier!” I think I shuddered when Sam straight up kissed her then. Of all times to confess your feelings, and of all times to have a FIRST KISS… maybe don’t do it when someone is in the most fragile mental state imaginable, okay? That was just disgusting to me.
But back on track. Every character is complacent, willfully ignoring the signs and just letting each other wither away until it was too late.
I’m connecting this to the next section, which is the following:
Romanticization:
Their mental and physical illnesses are so grossly romanticized.
When C realizes he needs a transplant, he doesn’t want it. His reasoning is that his broken heart is the one he gave to Neo… implying that a transplant would erase that. He WANTS to die because the sick version of himself is the one Neo loves… or something??? And then there’s the fact that when C’s body did reject the new heart, resulting in his death, Neo starves himself to death just to be with him.
That is two instances of the author blatantly romanticizing suicidal tendencies, using their illnesses as a springboard into it.
I was also generally bothered by the way their diseases and symptoms were painted with flowery language. Yet at the same time, while trying to raise awareness about chronic illness, Lancali also just succeeded at demonizing them. I remember Neo’s dad’s abuse being COMPLETELY dismissed in the following passage: “The great abuser in Neo’s life was not his father but the sickness in his veins.”
WOW. The way his victimhood is pitted against his illness is awful. It’s framed as though those two things can’t coexist, which isn’t true. So Neo’s abuse being dismissed in favor of demonizing his illness absolutely does not sit well with me. Obviously illnesses are bad and are not fun, but again, it’s the fact that it’s used to overlook his abuse that’s incredibly dangerous.
“Genderfluid Representation”:
It’s in quotes because it’s a lie.
When the author introduced the characters in a character sheet on her instagram, it said that Sam used any pronouns.
Right. Well, in the book, there is a SINGLE instance of someone using a pronoun for Sam. There is a single “they” in 400+ excruciating pages, about 300 or so pages in. And yeah, that means that throughout the entirety of the book, everyone just referred to Sam by their name. No pronouns, no nothing.
And let’s talk about the fact that Sam’s being genderfluid was actually a really harmful portrayal.
Sam’s genderfluidity was not genuine in the slightest. Remember, Sam is the incarnation of the hospital. They created a body for themself.
Sam’s androgyny and ambiguity did not exist for genderfluid representation. It existed for the end-of-the-book plot twist when we find out Sam isn’t quite real.
There was a moment where I believe Sam describes Neo’s mom’s reaction to seeing them, saying something like “I know from the look on her face that she can’t tell if I’m a boy or a girl.” That sentiment would have been nice if the fact that Sam’s androgyny wasn’t just because they weren’t exactly human.
And later, Sam describes themself as essentially looking like nothing you can describe and everything you can imagine at once, meaning they have no set appearance.
I was throughly angry by then. Not only did Lancali skirt around genuine trans rep, but she didn’t even make her one and only genderqueer character HUMAN. This perpetuates the idea that trans/nb people are “less than human”. It also perpetuates a notion I hate with a burning passion, which is that “trans/nb characters only make sense if they’re shapeshifters”. It is SUCH a harmful notion, and this book is no exception.
Lancali didn’t make Sam genderfluid to represent the trans community. She made Sam genderfluid for her cheap plot twist.
Relationships:
This will be the last thing I talk about here.
I did not like a single relationship in this book. Even Neo and C.
Let’s start with them. I hated the way their relationship began. I didn’t like the way C kept pestering Neo when Neo clearly wanted to be alone. I didn’t like the way Neo was just super rude to him (and to everyone for that matter. I honestly didn’t like Neo).
And I ESPECIALLY didn’t like learning what C did to Neo. So, no, C wasn’t involved in Neo’s bullying, but he was a willful bystander.
When we first learn that C “didn’t realize’ Neo was getting beaten up, it’s essentially passed off as C’s ADHD making him super withdrawn. (That is already a bad portrayal of ADHD, by the way). But we later learn that C is actually “almost always paying attention”, and shortly after this is revealed, it’s revealed that C did willfully ignore Neo getting beaten up because he was “indecisive”. That’s kind of fucked up. ADHD cannot and should not EVER be an excuse for being a bystander.
So from the beginning to the end, I could never once get behind their relationship.
Now on to Sam and Hikari.
They’re my least favorite.
Sam is immortal. They’ve been “alive” since the birth of the hospital, and they still retain their memories of that time. Though their body doesn’t really age, it’s still gross. I absolutely despise immortal x mortal tropes, because let’s be honest: it’s pedophilia.
(I’ll be calling Sam ‘Narrator-Sam’ for a bit here, because Sam’s first love was named Sam. That Sam will be ‘Real-Sam’.)
Narrator-Sam’s first love was Real-Sam, a boy they watched grow. Emphasis on “watched grow”. Narrator-Sam was THERE (not physically yet, but consciously watching) when Real-Sam was born, and then watched Real-Sam age and grow, eventually creating their physical form so they could get to know Real-Sam. (Narrator-Sam is called Sam because Real-Sam told them to share his name… which is just super super weird to me. AND it says that Narrator-Sam modeled themself off of Real-Sam. That’s also weird.)
We know Sam’s consciousness had been around for at least sixty years prior to Real-Sam’s birth.
And then when Real-Sam died, does that mean Narrator-Sam had to wait at least nineteen more years to meet Hikari?
Do you see the issue? It’s just thinly veiled pedophilia. I think the author tried to hide the age gap by having Sam be, like, SUPER ignorant to the workings of the world. You mean to tell me Sam is at least eighty years old but doesn’t know what chocolate or sarcasm is? For being an entity that has observed people for all their time existing, that doesn’t make sense. Again, Sam is a super inconsistent character.
But what also bothered me about Sam and Hikari’s relationship was the fact that it seemed like Sam was trying to fall in love with her BECAUSE she was Real-Sam’s reincarnation. I already don’t like the insta love trope, so that made this worse. For claiming that they refused to let love into their heart, Sam sure fell for Hikari instantly because of her “yellow-flaired eyes” (??? What does that even mean?). Hikari had such a boring personality that I and many others just don’t understand what Sam would have seen in her other than their past lover.
Then their relationship was just Shakespeare and cheesy dialogue. It had no depth. And again, the fact that Sam confesses to/kisses her immediately after she’d cut herself is just so so so wrong to me.
Summary:
All in all, this book was simply not for me. The writing style was overbearing, the characters were flat, and there wasn’t a plot I could get hooked on to.
But even if all that had been rectified, the fact that this book promotes self-destruction, insinuates that nurses/doctors are blind to/complacent about their patients’ issues, and romanticizes dangerous topics and notions is what makes this such an uncomfortable, disappointing read for me.
(By the way, the trigger warnings in the book are BURIED. They’re in the foreword — which should actually be called a preface, by the way — under paragraphs and paragraphs of the author kind of ranting about why this book means a lot to her. The TWs are not listed out; they’re simply lumped into another paragraph. Many people could not find the TWs are were very upset with this book. They fact that the TWs don’t stand out at all should have been my first red flag.)
Look. I don’t like bringing logical fallacies into arguments, but listen. I should have known better than to have high hopes for a book written by someone who worships Hanya “I don’t believe in therapy” Yanagihara.
But anyway, this review actually only scratches the surface of the things that bothered me about this book. Over the next couple of weeks, I will be posting an even more in-depth review on my instagram (@cerulean.writes), and there I will provide more topics, more examples, and even ways to avoid and/or correct these mistakes so that future authors don’t make them.
If you read all of this, thank you. I know I can get pretty heated when I’m passionate about something, so I hope this review doesn’t contain much of my rage. I know some squeaked their way in, but again, I have a hard time toning down strong feelings.
I wrote this review to shed light on the mistakes/dangerous things in this book that I don’t want to see others replicate, so I hope this was helpful and educational.
THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS.
The following review reflects my experience reading the ORIGINAL release of the book back in 2022. I cannot and will not comment on the June 2023 release with Simon & Schuster as I have not read that version. I do not know how or if the rerelease differs from the original release. Please keep that in mind as you read, and feel free to point out anything that has since changed compared to my review!
TRIGGER WARNINGS
- Mentions of suicide/self-harm
- Mentions of eating disorders
- Mentions of physical abuse
- Mentions of pedophilia
Please read at your own discretion.
***
Writing Style:
The biggest reason I nearly dnf-ed this book twice was the writing style. I’m sure you’ve seen numerous reviewers say this already, but it rings true: this book was written as if its only intention was to be quoted. The writing style was less of a writing style and more of improper use of grammar. Some sentences were just fragments. Others were incomprehensible run-ons. Despite the author’s intent to be “musical”, the grammatical inaccuracies happening on EVERY PAGE did the opposite effect. I found that there was little variation in sentence structure, especially as more fragments were introduced. So many lines were just so short, and all the ones following them were short too. It created this very robotic, monotonous feel. On the contrary, some sentences were run-ons, and ones so long that I had to read them multiple times to figure out what they were supposed to mean. They lacked commas in the proper places.
In general, the writing was incredibly naive. The plot was buried under purple prose, distracting from whatever was happening. There were countless times where dialogue would be split with paragraphs and paragraphs of monologues, and when a character would speak again, I would have no clue who was talking or what they were even responding to.
It felt distinctly like a thesaurus was dumped onto every page.
Characterization:
Maybe this one’s just me, but the characters were just super stereotypical to me.
- the giant athletic boy who’s actually a softy? Seen that before.
- The dark and broody boy with daddy issues? I can name quite a few
- The conventionally attractive loud girl whose only qualities are conventional attractiveness and an overwhelming presence? Totally hasn’t been done before.
- And this last one just rubs me the wrong way… The yellow-haired, yellow-eyed (???) suicidal Japanese girl… huh?
They all felt super underdeveloped, and especially so given their lack of depth due to cliches and harmful stereotypes.
Honestly, because of their lack of depth, I felt like I was reading about the same character over and over again. This was especially true when apparently almost every character had some kind of affinity for writing. (And because every character was either a reader or a writer… I felt like I was reading about the author, you know? Though she claims to separate herself from her characters, they were all painfully resembling of her, and that furthered my feelings of it seeming like I was reading about one character over and over again.)
These characters didn’t really have personalities beyond the brief things I mentioned in their stereotypes list. C was just aloof and gentle, Neo was just mean and poetic, Sony was just chaotic and loud, and Hikari was just Shakespeare quotes and tears. None of the characters developed beyond this.
And then there’s Sam. God, they’re a whole other issue.
Again, SPOILER WARNING.
We find out at the end of the book that Sam is the physical incarnation of the hospital. (Which, in my opinion, was a really confusing, rushed, and mediocre twist.) Their entire drive in the story was wanting to know why people suffer and die. Sam had this awfully annoying savior complex in which they frequently insisted they wanted to save everyone…
…and then never actually did anything to help. Despite the savior complex, they also claimed they weren’t allowed to interfere. It just doesn’t make sense. If the hospital can create its own physical body, be able to talk and touch and feel and love, then why couldn’t Sam interfere with the patients’ diseases or other issues? Their selective complacency is exactly what killed their friends. Sam never told anybody about Neo’s ED or abuse. They never told anybody that C and Sony were overexerting themselves. They never told anybody that Hikari was suicidal and was cutting herself. Obviously it’s not like Sam could’ve cured them, but Jesus, they could have TOLD someone!
It would have been better if Sam wasn’t the hospital’s incarnation. It just created a massive plot hole and lots of inconsistencies.
Not only that, but I just couldn’t stand them as a narrator. I get that the book was supposed to be heavy, but at the same time, it was supposed to be a book about hope. And for supposedly being about hope, Sam’s internal (and external) monologues were just chock FULL of melodrama and apathy. Their whole “I’m not sure I’m capable of feeling” schtick was odd.
Long story short, I couldn’t stand Sam, and they are probably the most inconsistent, annoying narrator/character I’ve ever encountered.
Dialogue:
Hinging on the last section, the characters’ lack of depth also affected the dialogue.
Every character, save for Eric (who is the only character I like), spoke like it was poetry night at their local coffee shop. They all had such embellished airs to them, speaking in metaphors and, somehow, purple prose. It pulled me out of the story and created an incredibly unrealistic feel. I already said these characters had little depth, but this just made it worse considering they all spoke in this equally obnoxious manner.
This especially applies to Hikari and Sam. Their interactions were just bizarre and oftentimes incomprehensible.
Sometimes the characters would say normal things, and for a moment my hopes would increase, but I would immediately deflate when someone spoke in poetry again. For being young adults, they were overly philosophical. They’re simply too young to be speaking they way they are; they don’t have the life experience for the type of things they say. On the other hand, they were also all incredibly childish, though I can sort of understand that part — they’re teenagers whose childhoods have been taken from them. I get it, but their childishness juxtaposed against their apparent proclivity for philosophy didn’t quite match.
Mental/Physical Illness:
I cannot stress enough just how dangerously this book portrays both physical and mental illness.
Not only does it promote self-destructive behavior (see: running away from the hospital to “live a little”), it uses their illnesses as plot devices.
Before I get into the dangerous portrayals, I’ll explain what I mean for the latter. The reasons it felt as though the illnesses were just plot devices was because they weren’t important until they were, if that makes sense. For example, there are moments where the characters are so obviously doing things that should be nearly impossible given the severity of their illnesses, but unless the scene was specifically ABOUT their illnesses, they were just… fine.
But lets get into why they were dangerous portrayals:
They get glossed over. Everyone ignores everyone else’s obvious signs of decay. Their diseases get swept to the sidelines.
Until, of course, it’s all too late and they start dying rapidly.
I mentioned earlier that Sam never helped anyone, but this applies to all of them, honestly. Both Sam and Hikari knew about Neo’s ED and never told a staff member. EVERYONE saw Hikari’s fresh self-harm wounds, but instead of, I don’t know, getting her help, Sam KISSES HER, and then proceeds to cut their hair. HUH?
That REALLY bothered me. Hikari was sobbing on the floor, bleeding profusely, hair falling out because of her disease, yet Sam decides “ah yes! This is the perfect moment to confess my feelings to her since I hurt her feelings earlier!” I think I shuddered when Sam straight up kissed her then. Of all times to confess your feelings, and of all times to have a FIRST KISS… maybe don’t do it when someone is in the most fragile mental state imaginable, okay? That was just disgusting to me.
But back on track. Every character is complacent, willfully ignoring the signs and just letting each other wither away until it was too late.
I’m connecting this to the next section, which is the following:
Romanticization:
Their mental and physical illnesses are so grossly romanticized.
When C realizes he needs a transplant, he doesn’t want it. His reasoning is that his broken heart is the one he gave to Neo… implying that a transplant would erase that. He WANTS to die because the sick version of himself is the one Neo loves… or something??? And then there’s the fact that when C’s body did reject the new heart, resulting in his death, Neo starves himself to death just to be with him.
That is two instances of the author blatantly romanticizing suicidal tendencies, using their illnesses as a springboard into it.
I was also generally bothered by the way their diseases and symptoms were painted with flowery language. Yet at the same time, while trying to raise awareness about chronic illness, Lancali also just succeeded at demonizing them. I remember Neo’s dad’s abuse being COMPLETELY dismissed in the following passage: “The great abuser in Neo’s life was not his father but the sickness in his veins.”
WOW. The way his victimhood is pitted against his illness is awful. It’s framed as though those two things can’t coexist, which isn’t true. So Neo’s abuse being dismissed in favor of demonizing his illness absolutely does not sit well with me. Obviously illnesses are bad and are not fun, but again, it’s the fact that it’s used to overlook his abuse that’s incredibly dangerous.
“Genderfluid Representation”:
It’s in quotes because it’s a lie.
When the author introduced the characters in a character sheet on her instagram, it said that Sam used any pronouns.
Right. Well, in the book, there is a SINGLE instance of someone using a pronoun for Sam. There is a single “they” in 400+ excruciating pages, about 300 or so pages in. And yeah, that means that throughout the entirety of the book, everyone just referred to Sam by their name. No pronouns, no nothing.
And let’s talk about the fact that Sam’s being genderfluid was actually a really harmful portrayal.
Sam’s genderfluidity was not genuine in the slightest. Remember, Sam is the incarnation of the hospital. They created a body for themself.
Sam’s androgyny and ambiguity did not exist for genderfluid representation. It existed for the end-of-the-book plot twist when we find out Sam isn’t quite real.
There was a moment where I believe Sam describes Neo’s mom’s reaction to seeing them, saying something like “I know from the look on her face that she can’t tell if I’m a boy or a girl.” That sentiment would have been nice if the fact that Sam’s androgyny wasn’t just because they weren’t exactly human.
And later, Sam describes themself as essentially looking like nothing you can describe and everything you can imagine at once, meaning they have no set appearance.
I was throughly angry by then. Not only did Lancali skirt around genuine trans rep, but she didn’t even make her one and only genderqueer character HUMAN. This perpetuates the idea that trans/nb people are “less than human”. It also perpetuates a notion I hate with a burning passion, which is that “trans/nb characters only make sense if they’re shapeshifters”. It is SUCH a harmful notion, and this book is no exception.
Lancali didn’t make Sam genderfluid to represent the trans community. She made Sam genderfluid for her cheap plot twist.
Relationships:
This will be the last thing I talk about here.
I did not like a single relationship in this book. Even Neo and C.
Let’s start with them. I hated the way their relationship began. I didn’t like the way C kept pestering Neo when Neo clearly wanted to be alone. I didn’t like the way Neo was just super rude to him (and to everyone for that matter. I honestly didn’t like Neo).
And I ESPECIALLY didn’t like learning what C did to Neo. So, no, C wasn’t involved in Neo’s bullying, but he was a willful bystander.
When we first learn that C “didn’t realize’ Neo was getting beaten up, it’s essentially passed off as C’s ADHD making him super withdrawn. (That is already a bad portrayal of ADHD, by the way). But we later learn that C is actually “almost always paying attention”, and shortly after this is revealed, it’s revealed that C did willfully ignore Neo getting beaten up because he was “indecisive”. That’s kind of fucked up. ADHD cannot and should not EVER be an excuse for being a bystander.
So from the beginning to the end, I could never once get behind their relationship.
Now on to Sam and Hikari.
They’re my least favorite.
Sam is immortal. They’ve been “alive” since the birth of the hospital, and they still retain their memories of that time. Though their body doesn’t really age, it’s still gross. I absolutely despise immortal x mortal tropes, because let’s be honest: it’s pedophilia.
(I’ll be calling Sam ‘Narrator-Sam’ for a bit here, because Sam’s first love was named Sam. That Sam will be ‘Real-Sam’.)
Narrator-Sam’s first love was Real-Sam, a boy they watched grow. Emphasis on “watched grow”. Narrator-Sam was THERE (not physically yet, but consciously watching) when Real-Sam was born, and then watched Real-Sam age and grow, eventually creating their physical form so they could get to know Real-Sam. (Narrator-Sam is called Sam because Real-Sam told them to share his name… which is just super super weird to me. AND it says that Narrator-Sam modeled themself off of Real-Sam. That’s also weird.)
We know Sam’s consciousness had been around for at least sixty years prior to Real-Sam’s birth.
And then when Real-Sam died, does that mean Narrator-Sam had to wait at least nineteen more years to meet Hikari?
Do you see the issue? It’s just thinly veiled pedophilia. I think the author tried to hide the age gap by having Sam be, like, SUPER ignorant to the workings of the world. You mean to tell me Sam is at least eighty years old but doesn’t know what chocolate or sarcasm is? For being an entity that has observed people for all their time existing, that doesn’t make sense. Again, Sam is a super inconsistent character.
But what also bothered me about Sam and Hikari’s relationship was the fact that it seemed like Sam was trying to fall in love with her BECAUSE she was Real-Sam’s reincarnation. I already don’t like the insta love trope, so that made this worse. For claiming that they refused to let love into their heart, Sam sure fell for Hikari instantly because of her “yellow-flaired eyes” (??? What does that even mean?). Hikari had such a boring personality that I and many others just don’t understand what Sam would have seen in her other than their past lover.
Then their relationship was just Shakespeare and cheesy dialogue. It had no depth. And again, the fact that Sam confesses to/kisses her immediately after she’d cut herself is just so so so wrong to me.
Summary:
All in all, this book was simply not for me. The writing style was overbearing, the characters were flat, and there wasn’t a plot I could get hooked on to.
But even if all that had been rectified, the fact that this book promotes self-destruction, insinuates that nurses/doctors are blind to/complacent about their patients’ issues, and romanticizes dangerous topics and notions is what makes this such an uncomfortable, disappointing read for me.
(By the way, the trigger warnings in the book are BURIED. They’re in the foreword — which should actually be called a preface, by the way — under paragraphs and paragraphs of the author kind of ranting about why this book means a lot to her. The TWs are not listed out; they’re simply lumped into another paragraph. Many people could not find the TWs are were very upset with this book. They fact that the TWs don’t stand out at all should have been my first red flag.)
Look. I don’t like bringing logical fallacies into arguments, but listen. I should have known better than to have high hopes for a book written by someone who worships Hanya “I don’t believe in therapy” Yanagihara.
But anyway, this review actually only scratches the surface of the things that bothered me about this book. Over the next couple of weeks, I will be posting an even more in-depth review on my instagram (@cerulean.writes), and there I will provide more topics, more examples, and even ways to avoid and/or correct these mistakes so that future authors don’t make them.
If you read all of this, thank you. I know I can get pretty heated when I’m passionate about something, so I hope this review doesn’t contain much of my rage. I know some squeaked their way in, but again, I have a hard time toning down strong feelings.
I wrote this review to shed light on the mistakes/dangerous things in this book that I don’t want to see others replicate, so I hope this was helpful and educational.
August 3, 2022
i want this book engraved into me
August 18, 2022
I wanted to like this one, but unfortunately I found it incredibly confusing in its metaphorical, poetic language (which is usually my jam, but this writing felt more like a foreign language). So much of this language clouds the actual story line in a way that feels drawn out and misses the mark for me.
June 24, 2023
Liczyłam na wielką miłość i łzy lecz niestety się przeliczyłam.
Książka jest trochę za długa, momentami mozolna i nudna.
Dodatkowo pojawił się wątek, którego nie lubię ale nie napisze wam co to takiego bo jest on wspomniany na koniec książki.
Szkoda
Książka jest trochę za długa, momentami mozolna i nudna.
Dodatkowo pojawił się wątek, którego nie lubię ale nie napisze wam co to takiego bo jest on wspomniany na koniec książki.
Szkoda
November 3, 2025
if i had to write a review for this book to sum up my words and the praise for it, i'd fail. maybe someday i'll be able to write down coherent thoughts but for now, my love of prose and tragedies has been fed and reading this made me cry 4 times: a new record.
pre-read: angst w comfort, my beloved <3
pre-read: angst w comfort, my beloved <3
August 19, 2022
the hype is a lie.
June 16, 2024
if you know you will disagree with this review, please refrain from reading it and from sending me rude messages
i have very strong opinions about this book and none of them are good.
(i know that this is based loosely on lancali's childhood as a chronically-ill kid and i intend no harm or hate to the author, i am just sharing my opinion on the story)
i had previously halfway read another of lancali's works on wattpad, but quit it for the same reason i did not enjoy this book: it reads like a tumblr inspiration board that miraculously made it through editing. now, if this is something you enjoy, this book might just be your cup of tea, but in my case it provoked copious amounts of cringe.
"'They're only scars,' I say, kissing the edge of her wrist."
clearly lancali is inspired by her story, but it still lacks plot. please, someone tell me the plot of this book, because nothing really happens here. it is all quotes, all of it. i swear that teenagers don't speak in prose or pinterest quotes all the time. we are also normal humans who can talk normally. when all the book is metaphors, it loses its charm.
the narrative style was incredibly frustrating. it felt like every line was trying too hard to be profound, which made the characters come off as inauthentic and melodramatic. this constant barrage of poetic language made it difficult to connect with the story or the characters on a meaningful level.
when it comes to the triggering content of the book, which happens to be present all the time because, apparently, life is awful, i do have some points to make. essentially, the author gets you attached to the characters to then make them endure endless suffering because that's how life is. while i have no issue with the depiction of mental illnesses or diseases or anything of the sort, i do have an issue when it ends up being almost romanticized and harmfully portrayed. all of the characters needed therapy and yet none of them had it, and you could tell. and before you all come for me, i'm also a chronically-ill teenager, and i found it really hard to resonate with this story.
the book's approach to suffering felt exploitative rather than insightful. instead of providing a nuanced exploration of chronic illness and emotional pain, it seemed to wallow in misery for the sake of drama. this not only made the reading experience unpleasant but also potentially harmful, as it perpetuates negative stereotypes and misconceptions about what it's like to live with chronic illness.
another major issue was the narrator's overwhelming savior complex. she constantly positioned herself as the one who could 'fix' everything, which became tiresome and irritating. this dynamic undermined the agency of the other characters and made the protagonist hard to sympathize with.
did not enjoy and would not recommend :P
edit: forgot to mention that the narrator has the biggest saviour complex known to mankind and that really made me despise her
i have very strong opinions about this book and none of them are good.
(i know that this is based loosely on lancali's childhood as a chronically-ill kid and i intend no harm or hate to the author, i am just sharing my opinion on the story)
i had previously halfway read another of lancali's works on wattpad, but quit it for the same reason i did not enjoy this book: it reads like a tumblr inspiration board that miraculously made it through editing. now, if this is something you enjoy, this book might just be your cup of tea, but in my case it provoked copious amounts of cringe.
"'They're only scars,' I say, kissing the edge of her wrist."
clearly lancali is inspired by her story, but it still lacks plot. please, someone tell me the plot of this book, because nothing really happens here. it is all quotes, all of it. i swear that teenagers don't speak in prose or pinterest quotes all the time. we are also normal humans who can talk normally. when all the book is metaphors, it loses its charm.
the narrative style was incredibly frustrating. it felt like every line was trying too hard to be profound, which made the characters come off as inauthentic and melodramatic. this constant barrage of poetic language made it difficult to connect with the story or the characters on a meaningful level.
when it comes to the triggering content of the book, which happens to be present all the time because, apparently, life is awful, i do have some points to make. essentially, the author gets you attached to the characters to then make them endure endless suffering because that's how life is. while i have no issue with the depiction of mental illnesses or diseases or anything of the sort, i do have an issue when it ends up being almost romanticized and harmfully portrayed. all of the characters needed therapy and yet none of them had it, and you could tell. and before you all come for me, i'm also a chronically-ill teenager, and i found it really hard to resonate with this story.
the book's approach to suffering felt exploitative rather than insightful. instead of providing a nuanced exploration of chronic illness and emotional pain, it seemed to wallow in misery for the sake of drama. this not only made the reading experience unpleasant but also potentially harmful, as it perpetuates negative stereotypes and misconceptions about what it's like to live with chronic illness.
another major issue was the narrator's overwhelming savior complex. she constantly positioned herself as the one who could 'fix' everything, which became tiresome and irritating. this dynamic undermined the agency of the other characters and made the protagonist hard to sympathize with.
did not enjoy and would not recommend :P
edit: forgot to mention that the narrator has the biggest saviour complex known to mankind and that really made me despise her
October 6, 2022
I haven't shed a tear, but it felt like I was crying for ten years.
------------------------
Okay, talking about the above sentence, the only reason I didn't physically cry was because I was just emotionally constipated but that's a me thing, I'll probably cry once I reread it anyways let's get to the main point.
“Just because the stars fell doesn't mean they weren't worth wishing on.”
Edit: As much as I love the book I think I'd like to tell my own criticism with the book, as an non binary person I don't think I *personally* thought the rep was good, I don't exactly know how to put it in words but a Goodreads review did put it properly. That's all.
I Fell in Love with Hope is delightful, honest and straightforward. I have never read a book like this. It held me hard, making me finish reading it. It is a beautiful, heartbreaking and thought-provoking book. In my opinion this is one kind of an eternal story and I will cherish it with everything.
The representation:
It was nice to see an actual sick person write a book about other sick people, this book is very personal to Lou and obviously it shows. I especially resonated so much with the depression rep in this book, people with depression are blamed to be "selfish" by uneducated people, we get told to just "stop being depressed and be happy with what you have" or whatever that is, it's hard to get proper representation for depression as it's such a stigmatised topic but the way this book portrays mental illness really touched my heart and made me feel seen.
The writing:
I've seen so many lower star reviews say that the writing was "way too pretentious" uh excuse me what? Like the writing itself is one of the symbolism for the topics discussed in the book (chronic illness and mental health) IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE REPETITIVE LMAO THAT'S THE FUCKING POINT, the writing is what the characters go through (this makes much more sense when you read the book) and yes I think the writing perfectly captured everything ( I've read other works from the author, so it's very obvious there's a reason this particular book has a more poetic writing, different books need a style of writing which fits it). (Edit: I have given some thought about the criticism on the writing, while I still mostly stand by my point I do understand what the reviewers meant so ignore this part of the review if you wish to.)
The characters:
Oh what can I say about these lovely characters, everything about them is just so good. Needless to say I loved them all. Sam at first was off putting but it's explained later on in the story as to why they seem so out of place. (This is where the writing comes in as Sam is the narrator throughout the whole story). Neo, Sony, Cœur and Hikari are just chefs kiss. And Sony is the love of my life so hands off her.
This book has officially made its way to my top favourite book, yes I love it even more than a little life. Do what you want with that.
------------------------
Okay, talking about the above sentence, the only reason I didn't physically cry was because I was just emotionally constipated but that's a me thing, I'll probably cry once I reread it anyways let's get to the main point.
“Just because the stars fell doesn't mean they weren't worth wishing on.”
Edit: As much as I love the book I think I'd like to tell my own criticism with the book, as an non binary person I don't think I *personally* thought the rep was good, I don't exactly know how to put it in words but a Goodreads review did put it properly. That's all.
I Fell in Love with Hope is delightful, honest and straightforward. I have never read a book like this. It held me hard, making me finish reading it. It is a beautiful, heartbreaking and thought-provoking book. In my opinion this is one kind of an eternal story and I will cherish it with everything.
The representation:
It was nice to see an actual sick person write a book about other sick people, this book is very personal to Lou and obviously it shows. I especially resonated so much with the depression rep in this book, people with depression are blamed to be "selfish" by uneducated people, we get told to just "stop being depressed and be happy with what you have" or whatever that is, it's hard to get proper representation for depression as it's such a stigmatised topic but the way this book portrays mental illness really touched my heart and made me feel seen.
The writing:
I've seen so many lower star reviews say that the writing was "way too pretentious" uh excuse me what? Like the writing itself is one of the symbolism for the topics discussed in the book (chronic illness and mental health) IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE REPETITIVE LMAO THAT'S THE FUCKING POINT, the writing is what the characters go through (this makes much more sense when you read the book) and yes I think the writing perfectly captured everything ( I've read other works from the author, so it's very obvious there's a reason this particular book has a more poetic writing, different books need a style of writing which fits it). (Edit: I have given some thought about the criticism on the writing, while I still mostly stand by my point I do understand what the reviewers meant so ignore this part of the review if you wish to.)
The characters:
Oh what can I say about these lovely characters, everything about them is just so good. Needless to say I loved them all. Sam at first was off putting but it's explained later on in the story as to why they seem so out of place. (This is where the writing comes in as Sam is the narrator throughout the whole story). Neo, Sony, Cœur and Hikari are just chefs kiss. And Sony is the love of my life so hands off her.
This book has officially made its way to my top favourite book, yes I love it even more than a little life. Do what you want with that.
May 8, 2023
I lied. I was, in fact, not read to be broken. I gave myself a headache from how much I cried. 10/10, though, I recommend this book to everyone.
Honestly, I don't even know how to describe this book and my feelings on it. I'm not saying it's neceserally a book where it's best to go in without knowing anything, I just don't know where to begin talking about it. I followed the author for a while on TikTok prior to her releasing IFILWH, and my admiration for her is what made me pick up this book. Of course the plot sounded amazing too and I got attatched to the characters even before reading the book due to her videos, but there are many books like that that I want to read and never get to. All these factors made me order it immediately as it went on sale. Hear me out. It was the best decision ever.
"Funny how memory works, isn't it? You remember what is strange more than what is normal. The normal days blend together, but the in between moments stand out."
I fell in love with hope is a story where everyone can find a piece on themselves. The plot follows our group of friends as they battle time and death themselves: Sam, the narrator, Neo, a bad temptered writer bound to a wheelchair, Sony, a girl with a single lung but as wild as fire, Coeur, a gentle giant with a failing heart and Hikari, a girl brighter than the sun.
While I know this book isn't perfect by any means, it is to me. I was able to find myself between the pages of this book, in Neo and Sam, and even Couer at times. Seeing their struggles and what became their day to day life was heartbreaking, but the emotions, everything was so raw and real and the author didn't shy away from the realities of what the characters were going through. Side note, if you follow Lancali on any social media, you probably know this already, but this book is based on her real-life experiences with chronic illness and grief.
"Time, Disease, and Deathare rueful mechanics that way. They enjoy crafting nooses out of fear, and they love playing games. Shadows their dresses, they curve over your shoulder with eerie fingers coaxing you into the dark, taking your body, your mind, and anything they please with it.
Time, Disease, and Death are the greatest thieves of the world."
Neo was my favourite character and the character I resonated with the most. Throughout the book, I found myself wanting to protect him. I loved him so much, and just seeing everything that was going on in his life broke me. He deserved so much better, and he will be a character that I will never forget.
I want a friend like Sony, and I honestly want to be more like her. She was this ray of sunshine in all of this. She managed to persevere through everything and was as strong as ever. I'm nothing like her if I'm being completely honest. She is strong and friendly and loud and so kind, and I just know she gave the warmest hugs.
Coeur and his love for music <3 I saw myself in him on that front. I can't really live without music either, and it's such a great way to clear your head. There is so much I want to say about him, yet so little actually comes into coherent thoughts.
Me and Sam are much more alike than I want to admit, but that's a topic for another time. I loved Sam as a narrator. I loved his interactions with everyone, although I think I would have liked to see a bit more of him actually dealing with his emotions instead of just seeing the others. I feel like we got so much more depth when it comes to the other characters, and Sam was slightly forgotten as he was the narrator.
Hikari was the character I couldn't really connect with. I really liked her character in the first half of the book, but as the plot really took a turn and we started nearing the end, I started to have more and more mixed feelings on her character. I think the biggest put off for me was her character dealing with what happened at the very end. It just didn't feel like a natural reaction after everything she's been through. I know I'm being really vague, but I'm trying to make these reviews as spoiler free as possible.
I've never encountered a writing style like this before, but I loved it. It's different, and I was here for it. I actually believe that the writing helped me get even more sucked into the story. I'll be honest, I have a really short attention span, so the uniqueness really helped me. It kept me intrigued the whole time, and it didn't really allow me to get bored or distracted if that makes sense. The story was really beautifully written, and it made me want to improve my own writing too.
Anyway, IFILWH is an amazing story with a great cast of character that deserves a chance. Please look up the trigger warnings before picking up the book, though! Lancali showed her talent and hard work as a writer with this novel, and I'm sure that her books will just get better and better in the future. I'm definitely planning on giving her future works a try.
also, thank you for reading my chaotic review. it's been a while.
"Our ending doesn't belong to us."
______________________________________
i don't think i've been this excited for a book in a long time
i'm ready to be broken 💀
Honestly, I don't even know how to describe this book and my feelings on it. I'm not saying it's neceserally a book where it's best to go in without knowing anything, I just don't know where to begin talking about it. I followed the author for a while on TikTok prior to her releasing IFILWH, and my admiration for her is what made me pick up this book. Of course the plot sounded amazing too and I got attatched to the characters even before reading the book due to her videos, but there are many books like that that I want to read and never get to. All these factors made me order it immediately as it went on sale. Hear me out. It was the best decision ever.
"Funny how memory works, isn't it? You remember what is strange more than what is normal. The normal days blend together, but the in between moments stand out."
I fell in love with hope is a story where everyone can find a piece on themselves. The plot follows our group of friends as they battle time and death themselves: Sam, the narrator, Neo, a bad temptered writer bound to a wheelchair, Sony, a girl with a single lung but as wild as fire, Coeur, a gentle giant with a failing heart and Hikari, a girl brighter than the sun.
While I know this book isn't perfect by any means, it is to me. I was able to find myself between the pages of this book, in Neo and Sam, and even Couer at times. Seeing their struggles and what became their day to day life was heartbreaking, but the emotions, everything was so raw and real and the author didn't shy away from the realities of what the characters were going through. Side note, if you follow Lancali on any social media, you probably know this already, but this book is based on her real-life experiences with chronic illness and grief.
"Time, Disease, and Deathare rueful mechanics that way. They enjoy crafting nooses out of fear, and they love playing games. Shadows their dresses, they curve over your shoulder with eerie fingers coaxing you into the dark, taking your body, your mind, and anything they please with it.
Time, Disease, and Death are the greatest thieves of the world."
Neo was my favourite character and the character I resonated with the most. Throughout the book, I found myself wanting to protect him. I loved him so much, and just seeing everything that was going on in his life broke me. He deserved so much better, and he will be a character that I will never forget.
I want a friend like Sony, and I honestly want to be more like her. She was this ray of sunshine in all of this. She managed to persevere through everything and was as strong as ever. I'm nothing like her if I'm being completely honest. She is strong and friendly and loud and so kind, and I just know she gave the warmest hugs.
Coeur and his love for music <3 I saw myself in him on that front. I can't really live without music either, and it's such a great way to clear your head. There is so much I want to say about him, yet so little actually comes into coherent thoughts.
Me and Sam are much more alike than I want to admit, but that's a topic for another time. I loved Sam as a narrator. I loved his interactions with everyone, although I think I would have liked to see a bit more of him actually dealing with his emotions instead of just seeing the others. I feel like we got so much more depth when it comes to the other characters, and Sam was slightly forgotten as he was the narrator.
Hikari was the character I couldn't really connect with. I really liked her character in the first half of the book, but as the plot really took a turn and we started nearing the end, I started to have more and more mixed feelings on her character. I think the biggest put off for me was her character dealing with what happened at the very end. It just didn't feel like a natural reaction after everything she's been through. I know I'm being really vague, but I'm trying to make these reviews as spoiler free as possible.
I've never encountered a writing style like this before, but I loved it. It's different, and I was here for it. I actually believe that the writing helped me get even more sucked into the story. I'll be honest, I have a really short attention span, so the uniqueness really helped me. It kept me intrigued the whole time, and it didn't really allow me to get bored or distracted if that makes sense. The story was really beautifully written, and it made me want to improve my own writing too.
Anyway, IFILWH is an amazing story with a great cast of character that deserves a chance. Please look up the trigger warnings before picking up the book, though! Lancali showed her talent and hard work as a writer with this novel, and I'm sure that her books will just get better and better in the future. I'm definitely planning on giving her future works a try.
"Our ending doesn't belong to us."
______________________________________
i don't think i've been this excited for a book in a long time
i'm ready to be broken 💀
Read
September 1, 2023Rzadko mam tak, że nie potrafię ocenić książki — były fragmenty, które powodowały dyskomfort (bo dotykały tam, gdzie boli najbardziej), a były takie, gdzie patetyzm mi przeszkadzał i psuł odbiór. Być może to nie był moment na tę lekturę lub mija się ona z moją wrażliwością, ale nie mogę jej odebrać, że pięknie mówi o cierpieniu, stracie i przyjaźni.
July 26, 2023
No dla mnie to takie 1.5 bo ostatnie 100 stron i zakończenie było na plus. Za dynamikę między Neo i C mogę podwyższyć ocenę. Poetyckiego języka trzeba umieć używać tak, aby wybrzmiał w odpowiednich momentach. Gdy dostajemy go przez całą książkę, nawet gdy nie jest zanadto potrzebny traci tą siłę przebicia i najzwyczajniej w świecie ciężko się to czyta.
August 12, 2022
read this. don’t question it. just do it. it’s worth it. every word, every page. everything about this is just heartbreaking. i cried every page of this.
January 20, 2024
wanted to refrain from reviewing because i know that the author has based this book on personal experiences and it felt insensitive, but i think it's more insensitive to hold back on a negative review because of the author's experiences.
this is a bad book. all the other 1-star reviews have said it, so i won't bother going into detail, but the prose is written to be quoted on tiktok. the characters are forgettable, the dialogue made me want to jump out of my skin, the plot is flimsy and frankly, boring.
just because a book is sad or a book has plot twists or a book has lines that can be quoted out of context, does not mean it's a good book! and this book is the perfect example of that.
this is a bad book. all the other 1-star reviews have said it, so i won't bother going into detail, but the prose is written to be quoted on tiktok. the characters are forgettable, the dialogue made me want to jump out of my skin, the plot is flimsy and frankly, boring.
just because a book is sad or a book has plot twists or a book has lines that can be quoted out of context, does not mean it's a good book! and this book is the perfect example of that.
October 18, 2022
this is the type of book i only read because i wanted to see the characters die
July 17, 2023
Sometimes hope just isn't enough.
It isn't meant to save people
this story was definitely heart wrenching. for it being a debut novel, it was really good. it follow along the story of sam and their friend group of terminally ill hospital kids trying to live their life to the fullest. sam meets hikari and falls in love with her but is terrified to allow themselves to feel because the last time they were in “love”not sure if it’s the right word, it ended with sam seeing their lover take their life.
this story is very character-driven, you learn about their complications and about their journey from before the hospital to how they met sam (mc) and the blossom and peak of their friend group.
you meet neo, coeur,& sony, and you just grow to love them so much and you feel for them soooo much. they each have their own different complications and it is so sad to read about their struggles and that although their life is filled with so much pain and struggle they’re still attempting to fulfill a list of things before they sadly pass.
last character to join the friend group is hikari, and i personally felt indifferent about her. i just loved neo, coeur and sony so much like they genuinely melted my heart but with hikari and sam you basically get the gist of their relationship from the title. the entire time sam is very reluctant to believe in hope as their past has traumatized them.
i will admit that her writing if very different and a little harder to get through. not necessarily saying it as a bad thing but it took me a little longer to get through. also, the story does have time jumps that do get a little confusing but once you’re about 30% in it gets a lot easier, the writing style did match the book perfectly.
Because you don't lose someone once. You lose them hearing a song that reminds you
of their smile. Passing an old landmark. Laughing at a joke they would've laughed at. You lose them infinitely.
~~~ this book took my heart and just tore it into so many shreds .
quotes:
I do not need to be forgiven for who I choose to be and even less for who I choose to love
You know you never wanted us to be happy, Sam. Happiness is a brittle, fleeting thing. You wanted us to feel loved, and we did
please please check complete list of tw’s beforehand, topics of ed’s, su*cide, death, etc.
It isn't meant to save people
this story was definitely heart wrenching. for it being a debut novel, it was really good. it follow along the story of sam and their friend group of terminally ill hospital kids trying to live their life to the fullest. sam meets hikari and falls in love with her but is terrified to allow themselves to feel because the last time they were in “love”
this story is very character-driven, you learn about their complications and about their journey from before the hospital to how they met sam (mc) and the blossom and peak of their friend group.
you meet neo, coeur,& sony, and you just grow to love them so much and you feel for them soooo much. they each have their own different complications and it is so sad to read about their struggles and that although their life is filled with so much pain and struggle they’re still attempting to fulfill a list of things before they sadly pass.
last character to join the friend group is hikari, and i personally felt indifferent about her. i just loved neo, coeur and sony so much like they genuinely melted my heart but with hikari and sam you basically get the gist of their relationship from the title. the entire time sam is very reluctant to believe in hope as their past has traumatized them.
i will admit that her writing if very different and a little harder to get through. not necessarily saying it as a bad thing but it took me a little longer to get through. also, the story does have time jumps that do get a little confusing but once you’re about 30% in it gets a lot easier, the writing style did match the book perfectly.
Because you don't lose someone once. You lose them hearing a song that reminds you
of their smile. Passing an old landmark. Laughing at a joke they would've laughed at. You lose them infinitely.
~~~ this book took my heart and just tore it into so many shreds .
quotes:
I do not need to be forgiven for who I choose to be and even less for who I choose to love
You know you never wanted us to be happy, Sam. Happiness is a brittle, fleeting thing. You wanted us to feel loved, and we did
please please check complete list of tw’s beforehand, topics of ed’s, su*cide, death, etc.
December 15, 2023
RTC -
3 stars
Hm hm hm lord have mercy, this book DRAINED ME!!
It took me 7days but thank god it finally came to an end! This was not at all what I imagined it would be, it was neither entirely bad nor was it as good as I wanted it to be. but I need some time to gather all my thoughts on it so I’ll eventually write a review once I’m fully recharged🫠
3 stars
Hm hm hm lord have mercy, this book DRAINED ME!!
It took me 7days but thank god it finally came to an end! This was not at all what I imagined it would be, it was neither entirely bad nor was it as good as I wanted it to be. but I need some time to gather all my thoughts on it so I’ll eventually write a review once I’m fully recharged🫠
August 29, 2022
ARE YOU KIDDING ME??????????????
i instantly fell in love with this book within the first 100 pages. The writing is stellar and immaculate that it actually amazes mee.. I have never felt this happy and sad at the same timee. The characters will definitely stay with me for a long time😭😭
i instantly fell in love with this book within the first 100 pages. The writing is stellar and immaculate that it actually amazes mee.. I have never felt this happy and sad at the same timee. The characters will definitely stay with me for a long time😭😭
October 1, 2022
I really wanted to love this book. The cover was so gorgeous! And the book was so sleek and sexy. But unfortunately this book was a confusing mishmash of metaphors and poetic language. I was so confused most of the book because of this authors writing style. I can't say this is a miss for all because her writing style wasn't for me, but maybe it'll be for you. There were so many main characters in this book, but I only truly fell for Neo and C and also, Sonny. (In that order) I think I could have read a WHOLE book on just Neo and C and I think it woulda been great. This book turns sad fast as to be expected! But I wasn't a fan of the ending or the twist. But I can see why...metaphorically...it worked well.
August 2, 2023
Podsumuję moją opinię blurbem, który znajdziecie także na skrzydełku książki 🥹
„Zakochałam się w tej pięknej, lecz bolesnej powieści. Za każdym zdaniem kryje się historia pełna miłości, nadziei i cierpienia, a odkrywanie ich wszystkich było niesamowicie poruszającym, chwytającym za serce doświadczeniem”
„Zakochałam się w tej pięknej, lecz bolesnej powieści. Za każdym zdaniem kryje się historia pełna miłości, nadziei i cierpienia, a odkrywanie ich wszystkich było niesamowicie poruszającym, chwytającym za serce doświadczeniem”
Read
August 7, 2022okay i just finished. give me 3-5 business days to process here.
____________
EDIT: ORDER IN A WEEK YAYYYYY
i'm actually so excited for this to crush me whole
____________
EDIT: ORDER IN A WEEK YAYYYYY
i'm actually so excited for this to crush me whole
Displaying 1 - 30 of 6,235 reviews