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Angels #2
Angels & Man
A Queer Retelling of the Watcher's Flood
The angel Azazel is miserable in Heaven. In the aftermath of Satan's fall, the angels live in the reconstructed ruins of an old utopia, oppressive and paranoid of any new rebellion.
The angel Samyaza is content in Heaven, but he longs for the eternal city's former glory. Watching the feeble humans below, wallowing in sin for centuries after Adam and Eve, he sees opportunity to earn back the Lord’s favor.
On Earth, the Watcher angels arrive to lecture on God's love, but the love of a human soon begins to seem much warmer.
The angel Azazel is miserable in Heaven. In the aftermath of Satan's fall, the angels live in the reconstructed ruins of an old utopia, oppressive and paranoid of any new rebellion.
The angel Samyaza is content in Heaven, but he longs for the eternal city's former glory. Watching the feeble humans below, wallowing in sin for centuries after Adam and Eve, he sees opportunity to earn back the Lord’s favor.
On Earth, the Watcher angels arrive to lecture on God's love, but the love of a human soon begins to seem much warmer.
458 pages, Kindle Edition
Published March 31, 2024
160 people are currently reading
4109 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 295 reviews
February 25, 2024
The most difficult book I've ever written, but it was fun! I hope it reaches whoever it needs to.
A&M has a lot of the same warnings as ABM, but there are a lot of new things too. Here is the list, which you'll find inside the book, as well:
Graphic violence, sexual content, death, oppression, pregnancy and miscarriage and childbirth (including for character that does not identify as a woman), sexism, homophobia, bigotry, non-graphic sexual violence, issues of sexual consent, incest, depictions of war and starvation, body horror, emotional and physical child abuse and neglect, suicide, mental instability, self-harm, abusive romantic relationships.
Please take them to heart. Thank you!
A&M has a lot of the same warnings as ABM, but there are a lot of new things too. Here is the list, which you'll find inside the book, as well:
Graphic violence, sexual content, death, oppression, pregnancy and miscarriage and childbirth (including for character that does not identify as a woman), sexism, homophobia, bigotry, non-graphic sexual violence, issues of sexual consent, incest, depictions of war and starvation, body horror, emotional and physical child abuse and neglect, suicide, mental instability, self-harm, abusive romantic relationships.
Please take them to heart. Thank you!
February 24, 2024
This book???? Is so wild??? I'm feral. I would give this six stars if I could.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
April 8, 2024
I don’t even know what to say I am broken now. 8 stars
April 7, 2024
i have never been more miserable in my entire life. this is my bible.
February 2, 2025
˗ˏˋ 2 ★ ˎˊ˗ (minor spoilers below !!)
it genuinely kills me to give this such a low rating after loving abm, but girl:/ this literally read like a first draft with the rambling plot and continuity / grammatical errors. it had so much potential for the tragic devastation we got with abm, but i think it was overall too ambitious — too many characters, too many plot lines, too disjointed. the pacing was strange and stilted. i cared more about stories told in passing by characters than the actual plot lines themselves until like legitimately the 80% mark. this should have followed azazel and samyaza primarily, but instead we jumped around really disorientingly to kokabiel, baraqiel, asmodeus, rosier, armoni, lucifer, michael, baal, etc. as if they were all the main protags. i just felt like i was being yanked around aimlessly before the conclusion was forced on me. that being said, there were a few really strong chapters that had the same emotional punch as abm — namely the ones that centered around lucifer and michael / the original main cast of abm, funnily enough :•) and when that shit hit, it HIT. lucifer and michael trapped in perpetual torture dreams ?? the brainwashing ?? the tenderness between lucifer and eve, then lucifer and cain ?? angels learning humanity ?? azazel and samyaza ?? baraqiel and kokabiel ?? rosier and asmodeus ?? i still have high(ish) hopes for the novella coming out later this month & the third book in the trilogy, but the execution of this was so poor
bars:
✧ “before all things, God is powerful, and if you think Him incapable of atrocity, then you think Him as something less than a god.”
✧ some objects are made when rebuilt, when cleaned, when edited—but some objects die in their fix.
✧ he thought that if you were trapped in a beast's stomach, you could never know the full body of the monster—and that was a comfort, the same way it was a horror.
✧ ‘i wish i could be God, just to give you the forgiveness that you want to hear.’
✧ in a shaking desperation, he swore to the dazed, unfinished angel: “i dreamed of you, of loving you.” “how did you love me?” “not like this.”
soundtrack:
♫ punish — ethel cain
♪ sun bleached flies — ethel cain
it genuinely kills me to give this such a low rating after loving abm, but girl:/ this literally read like a first draft with the rambling plot and continuity / grammatical errors. it had so much potential for the tragic devastation we got with abm, but i think it was overall too ambitious — too many characters, too many plot lines, too disjointed. the pacing was strange and stilted. i cared more about stories told in passing by characters than the actual plot lines themselves until like legitimately the 80% mark. this should have followed azazel and samyaza primarily, but instead we jumped around really disorientingly to kokabiel, baraqiel, asmodeus, rosier, armoni, lucifer, michael, baal, etc. as if they were all the main protags. i just felt like i was being yanked around aimlessly before the conclusion was forced on me. that being said, there were a few really strong chapters that had the same emotional punch as abm — namely the ones that centered around lucifer and michael / the original main cast of abm, funnily enough :•) and when that shit hit, it HIT. lucifer and michael trapped in perpetual torture dreams ?? the brainwashing ?? the tenderness between lucifer and eve, then lucifer and cain ?? angels learning humanity ?? azazel and samyaza ?? baraqiel and kokabiel ?? rosier and asmodeus ?? i still have high(ish) hopes for the novella coming out later this month & the third book in the trilogy, but the execution of this was so poor
bars:
✧ “before all things, God is powerful, and if you think Him incapable of atrocity, then you think Him as something less than a god.”
✧ some objects are made when rebuilt, when cleaned, when edited—but some objects die in their fix.
✧ he thought that if you were trapped in a beast's stomach, you could never know the full body of the monster—and that was a comfort, the same way it was a horror.
✧ ‘i wish i could be God, just to give you the forgiveness that you want to hear.’
✧ in a shaking desperation, he swore to the dazed, unfinished angel: “i dreamed of you, of loving you.” “how did you love me?” “not like this.”
soundtrack:
♫ punish — ethel cain
♪ sun bleached flies — ethel cain
March 7, 2024
this book destroyed every part of my being! it's incredible! no one talk to me for a very long time please :)
April 14, 2024
rafael y la re puta madre que te re mil pario pagaras por tus pecados
November 18, 2024
"Satan, when he learned of the relationship, forbid it. He said I was killing myself. I said, I want to die for love. He said, You will die for God's twisted pleasure. I said, Ara is my god, and for his pleasure, I will happily die."
rafa has a way with words and i have nothing more to add to this review (also the audiobook is great).
rafa has a way with words and i have nothing more to add to this review (also the audiobook is great).
Want to read
April 6, 2024Me resisting ever urge to buy this book NEOWWWW, this will be mine very soon.
April 1, 2024
so gut wrenchingly beautiful from start to finish. i need to lie down for a very long time.
May 14, 2024
There's something so horrible and beautiful about reading a story knowing how it ends courtesy of Sunday School at age 7, and still being on the final pages begging the book not to end that way.
Congratulations on tearing my heart out, this was absolutely beautiful 💔 Goodreads doesn't have enough stars for what I want to rate this.
Congratulations on tearing my heart out, this was absolutely beautiful 💔 Goodreads doesn't have enough stars for what I want to rate this.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 29, 2025
Damn religion really is an abusive relationship .. this book embodies that perfectly
November 26, 2024
You were a Beast, and I was a Beast Maker. I continued to dream of you — beautiful, then broken. I tried to save you. Then, I was killing you.
And on the 4th day God created the disaster gays; Lucifer and Michael.
All jokes aside this was FUCKING PHENOMENAL (& fuck god he sucks). FINALLY MY 5 STAR DROUGHT HAS ENDED. My only regret is not making sure I'd reread the first one before starting this but holy shit it was good.
This series is so slept on and it makes me sad. This follow up was exactly what I needed it to be. If you want Angels & Demons, body horror, religous trauma, toxicity and a corruption arc combined with stunning prose THIS IS THE ONE.
Michael and Lucifer truly make my throat thick though. Michael is the most repressed angel to exist and I need him to get his shit together (affectionate).
THAT ENDING THO ITS FUCKING HURTS SOMEONE SQUEEZE AZAZEL FOR ME 😭 Armoni was also the MVP, his distain for literally everything was my lifeblood.
Idk how I'll survive for the third book but atleast I'll have Rosier's novella to tie me over
And on the 4th day God created the disaster gays; Lucifer and Michael.
All jokes aside this was FUCKING PHENOMENAL (& fuck god he sucks). FINALLY MY 5 STAR DROUGHT HAS ENDED. My only regret is not making sure I'd reread the first one before starting this but holy shit it was good.
This series is so slept on and it makes me sad. This follow up was exactly what I needed it to be. If you want Angels & Demons, body horror, religous trauma, toxicity and a corruption arc combined with stunning prose THIS IS THE ONE.
Michael and Lucifer truly make my throat thick though. Michael is the most repressed angel to exist and I need him to get his shit together (affectionate).
THAT ENDING THO ITS FUCKING HURTS SOMEONE SQUEEZE AZAZEL FOR ME 😭 Armoni was also the MVP, his distain for literally everything was my lifeblood.
Idk how I'll survive for the third book but atleast I'll have Rosier's novella to tie me over
Read
May 25, 2024DNF @ 38%. I think a lot of great self-published authors write great debuts and then sequels/etc that are just… more of the same, but longer - because they don’t have good editors and it’s what people liked, after all. I’m thinking of Victoria Goddard’s Hands of the Emperor books, Alyson Greaves’ Dorley Hall series, and obviously this, which is following up the fantastic Angels Before Man. There’s probably an ao3 element there too. I can’t begrudge it, I guess, I understand it… but it’s a little bit disappointing. I feel like there IS so much good/interesting stuff in here but it’s not being presented in a way that will allow it to be fully appreciated.
August 9, 2024
this series is my bible actually
3.75 ^
i really wanted to like this more than i did....! there were about 15-20 chapters that were so so incredibly strong they took my breath away, but for the most part i was struggling to find the motivation to keep reading. it was a bit too long in my opinion. but i love rafael nicolás’ writing so so much so like, it’s okay. plus this book was devastating and once again broke my heart. i just quite liked the first book better <3
3.75 ^
i really wanted to like this more than i did....! there were about 15-20 chapters that were so so incredibly strong they took my breath away, but for the most part i was struggling to find the motivation to keep reading. it was a bit too long in my opinion. but i love rafael nicolás’ writing so so much so like, it’s okay. plus this book was devastating and once again broke my heart. i just quite liked the first book better <3
January 12, 2025
This book feels like you’re having your heart repeatedly ripped out of your chest, but you’re thankful for it. It’s torture, but it’s so beautifully done that it is a form of art. What a masterpiece. Everything hurts, everything is on fire, I feel like I’m going insane and still I cannot wait for more of this series. 1000000000/10.
April 13, 2024
3.5 - A queer retelling of stories taken from the Book of Enoch and the sequel to “Angels Before Man”, the retelling of Lucifer’s fall from grace.
The angels have lost God’s favor and Heaven is a distorted fraction of its former glory that is now filled with paranoia and judgement. In a desperate attempt at regaining His favor, the angel Samyaza proposes to send a group of angels down to Earth to teach the ignorant humans about God’s love.
"Love makes angels, demons, and humans ridiculous. We’re lucky that God can’t love.”
“God loves,” the angel had said, “that’s what makes Him so terrifying.”
There was a lot that I appreciated in the story. I loved the comparisons between angels and women and how the two found an instant likeness in each other. All of the characters had compelling and unique relationships to God, humans, and themselves. The rawness of the story mixed with beautiful stylistic writing made for a memorable read.
"'God, God, God!’ No words could do justice to the horror. ‘God!’”
And I liked that we got updates on the fallen angels from book one. How their lives are as they grew accustomed to a demon's life on Earth with Satan as their ruler. Asmodeus and Rosier’s story had me in shambles when reading the first book, so I was especially grateful to get an update on the two of them.
Damnation is a flood of violated, spurred open flesh. But something cut loose is cut free, and when the angel breathed, it was without the strain of tendons or muscles or even the flame of a cherubic spirit. The unfamiliar emptiness within his body was welcome; there was now room for him to fill, inside.
However, the book was 520 pages long and I do think it stretched itself a bit thin. It was trying to do a lot instead of keeping the attention on it's main themes and left the story without the strength it needed to have a really impactful ending.
All that being said, I did enjoy myself and it triggered me to reflect more on my own trauma with religion (I didn’t have it anywhere near as bad as some people did, thank god, but I swear the idea of an omniscient being that judges whether you are “good” or “bad” placed on my spongy developing child brain was the reason why my OCD manifested 😂)
I loved the themes of sexuality, gender, existentialism, and family mixed with biblical mythology (or I guess this might not be considered "biblical" mythology since the story it's based on was omitted from some versions of the bible I believe? Because apparently it was too weird to have been inspired by the holy spirit or something idk 😂)
I will definitely pick up whatever else this author plans to write next.
(okay I just looked at their author website and apparently this is supposed to be a trilogy?? I am sat! Anyone have any guesses on what the next book will be a retelling of?)
The angels have lost God’s favor and Heaven is a distorted fraction of its former glory that is now filled with paranoia and judgement. In a desperate attempt at regaining His favor, the angel Samyaza proposes to send a group of angels down to Earth to teach the ignorant humans about God’s love.
"Love makes angels, demons, and humans ridiculous. We’re lucky that God can’t love.”
“God loves,” the angel had said, “that’s what makes Him so terrifying.”
There was a lot that I appreciated in the story. I loved the comparisons between angels and women and how the two found an instant likeness in each other. All of the characters had compelling and unique relationships to God, humans, and themselves. The rawness of the story mixed with beautiful stylistic writing made for a memorable read.
"'God, God, God!’ No words could do justice to the horror. ‘God!’”
And I liked that we got updates on the fallen angels from book one. How their lives are as they grew accustomed to a demon's life on Earth with Satan as their ruler. Asmodeus and Rosier’s story had me in shambles when reading the first book, so I was especially grateful to get an update on the two of them.
Damnation is a flood of violated, spurred open flesh. But something cut loose is cut free, and when the angel breathed, it was without the strain of tendons or muscles or even the flame of a cherubic spirit. The unfamiliar emptiness within his body was welcome; there was now room for him to fill, inside.
However, the book was 520 pages long and I do think it stretched itself a bit thin. It was trying to do a lot instead of keeping the attention on it's main themes and left the story without the strength it needed to have a really impactful ending.
All that being said, I did enjoy myself and it triggered me to reflect more on my own trauma with religion (I didn’t have it anywhere near as bad as some people did, thank god, but I swear the idea of an omniscient being that judges whether you are “good” or “bad” placed on my spongy developing child brain was the reason why my OCD manifested 😂)
I loved the themes of sexuality, gender, existentialism, and family mixed with biblical mythology (or I guess this might not be considered "biblical" mythology since the story it's based on was omitted from some versions of the bible I believe? Because apparently it was too weird to have been inspired by the holy spirit or something idk 😂)
I will definitely pick up whatever else this author plans to write next.
(okay I just looked at their author website and apparently this is supposed to be a trilogy?? I am sat! Anyone have any guesses on what the next book will be a retelling of?)
July 30, 2024
oh I am a broken thing now oww I can’t—hmmm ouch it hurts what rafa please what why does it hurt like this
April 11, 2024
Hiiiiiiii I am in agony 🫶
September 4, 2025
4.25⭐️
“I’ll lay in the grave with you, and I’ll watch how long it takes for the earth to take you back. and once there’s only bones left, I’ll leave; I’ll go looking for where the earth has scattered the rest of you. I think I’d find your hands in the trees….I’d find your mouth on the flowers of a meadow, your breath in the breeze that chased the dandelions. but I don’t think I’d ever find your heart. I think the jealous earth would steal it for itself.”
“Your body is yours, not His. Don't hold any shame in your heart to remake the prison of your flesh. Become unrecognizable to the God that has forsaken you. Take divine creation into your own hands.”
“Why, the angel asked, have you done this? Why does God divine punish and divine hurt, divine ache? There is a wound, shaped like God, in me. If there is any mercy in you, why did you create me, only to cast me out?”
“Every star will burn out. And be blessed, the Lord decreed, that you will never know why.”
…
I feel a little sick to my stomach by that ending. That was massively brutal.
Coming from Angels Before Man (which was a six-star read for me), I found this to be a little overlong at times and had sort of a pacing issue, but still, overall, a very ambitious book yet again filled with lyrical prose and gut-wrenching plotlines.
Angels & Man takes an interesting study on gender. Sometimes this would mean studying its spectrum, or even simply the blame that falls on women by men.
This takes varying points of view from multiple characters in this almost stream of consciousness. While you still see Lucifer, many more angels come into play here, after the fall. It yet again makes the book feel almost dreamlike, but differently this time around.
While you would think this would be difficult for me to broach, given my past with religion, I truly found it cathartic. It allows me to rewire the way things were once taught to me, and shift my perspectives to only further unravel the tangled web it left in me. So I would once again say that this is a great book for those who still need to process their religious trauma, but only if you're ready for it, as these stories are quite heavy.
I do hope that we'll get more.
“I’ll lay in the grave with you, and I’ll watch how long it takes for the earth to take you back. and once there’s only bones left, I’ll leave; I’ll go looking for where the earth has scattered the rest of you. I think I’d find your hands in the trees….I’d find your mouth on the flowers of a meadow, your breath in the breeze that chased the dandelions. but I don’t think I’d ever find your heart. I think the jealous earth would steal it for itself.”
“Your body is yours, not His. Don't hold any shame in your heart to remake the prison of your flesh. Become unrecognizable to the God that has forsaken you. Take divine creation into your own hands.”
“Why, the angel asked, have you done this? Why does God divine punish and divine hurt, divine ache? There is a wound, shaped like God, in me. If there is any mercy in you, why did you create me, only to cast me out?”
“Every star will burn out. And be blessed, the Lord decreed, that you will never know why.”
…
I feel a little sick to my stomach by that ending. That was massively brutal.
Coming from Angels Before Man (which was a six-star read for me), I found this to be a little overlong at times and had sort of a pacing issue, but still, overall, a very ambitious book yet again filled with lyrical prose and gut-wrenching plotlines.
Angels & Man takes an interesting study on gender. Sometimes this would mean studying its spectrum, or even simply the blame that falls on women by men.
This takes varying points of view from multiple characters in this almost stream of consciousness. While you still see Lucifer, many more angels come into play here, after the fall. It yet again makes the book feel almost dreamlike, but differently this time around.
While you would think this would be difficult for me to broach, given my past with religion, I truly found it cathartic. It allows me to rewire the way things were once taught to me, and shift my perspectives to only further unravel the tangled web it left in me. So I would once again say that this is a great book for those who still need to process their religious trauma, but only if you're ready for it, as these stories are quite heavy.
I do hope that we'll get more.
June 1, 2025
this book beat the shit out of me and left me for dead and i LOVED IT. beautiful, heartbreaking, thought provoking. f u god for bein a spiteful bitch.
April 7, 2024
“Make me again, God. Look at me, Father. Dig your fingers into me, and I will tell you how my body was in a distant past, how I am missing a life I never lived. Allow me to become a body, not to be trapped in this one.”
—
as expected, i have been shattered to pieces by rafael nicolas (again). i don’t know where to begin. every bit of this book has hurt me in some way or another. the lighter bits, the darker ones, all of it. likewise with angels before man, you know how it ends before the story even starts. you know the inescapable tragedy that lies within the plot. you know it’s going to be awful for the characters (and for you, too). but even with this beforehand knowledge, the entirety of it all wrecked me. azazel made me suffer from the very beginning— his feelings of guilt, his relationship with god, his journey on earth, eitan!! samyaza was different for me. i couldn’t stand him but as the story went on, i started to like him to the point at the ending were his narration stole a few tears out of my eyes. though i have to say, the true star and highlight of the book for me were the demons. i fell completely in love with them as i suspected i would. lucifer’s character is MAGNIFICENT!! cannot believe how flawlessly he was written, how funny and tragic he could be, how coherent with his own story and the one currently going on. loved seeing rosier and asmodeus again. in angels before man, i hadn’t really cared for baal. here? he became one of my favorite characters in a matter of pages. another one of my faves: michael. his pov was pure suffering and i wouldn’t have had it any other way. in summary, all the characters’ arcs were executed beyond perfection and each and every one of them broke my heart.
still, i believe that what truly makes this book so special is nicolas’ writing. i’ve praised it before AND I WILL CONTINUE TO PRAISE IT UNTIL THE DAY I DIE. his wording is precise, detailed and beautifully haunting. every sentence feels like a careful, loving eulogy (i mean this as the highest compliment). the narration is captivating in an unique way, the exchange of povs (which had been a minimal issue for me in angels before man) was mastered during this book. when i say i highlighted at least half of the words, i mean it. i would get a tattoo of so many of these quotes without thinking twice about it. what i’m trying to say is that beyond the plot, the characters and the topics, the writing on its own it’s worth reading (even if the rest of the elements above are as well).
of course, i cannot end this review without mentioning the ending. ABSOLUTELY NAILED IT. the last few chapters were misery and hell (i sobbed my way through them, obviously) and they closed the story far better than i could’ve wished for. unlike with angels before man, i have no idea what the next book may be about. needless to say, the moment it is out i will read it. for now, all i can say is that angels & man went above and beyond all my hopes and expectations. cannot recommend it enough.
—
as expected, i have been shattered to pieces by rafael nicolas (again). i don’t know where to begin. every bit of this book has hurt me in some way or another. the lighter bits, the darker ones, all of it. likewise with angels before man, you know how it ends before the story even starts. you know the inescapable tragedy that lies within the plot. you know it’s going to be awful for the characters (and for you, too). but even with this beforehand knowledge, the entirety of it all wrecked me. azazel made me suffer from the very beginning— his feelings of guilt, his relationship with god, his journey on earth, eitan!! samyaza was different for me. i couldn’t stand him but as the story went on, i started to like him to the point at the ending were his narration stole a few tears out of my eyes. though i have to say, the true star and highlight of the book for me were the demons. i fell completely in love with them as i suspected i would. lucifer’s character is MAGNIFICENT!! cannot believe how flawlessly he was written, how funny and tragic he could be, how coherent with his own story and the one currently going on. loved seeing rosier and asmodeus again. in angels before man, i hadn’t really cared for baal. here? he became one of my favorite characters in a matter of pages. another one of my faves: michael. his pov was pure suffering and i wouldn’t have had it any other way. in summary, all the characters’ arcs were executed beyond perfection and each and every one of them broke my heart.
still, i believe that what truly makes this book so special is nicolas’ writing. i’ve praised it before AND I WILL CONTINUE TO PRAISE IT UNTIL THE DAY I DIE. his wording is precise, detailed and beautifully haunting. every sentence feels like a careful, loving eulogy (i mean this as the highest compliment). the narration is captivating in an unique way, the exchange of povs (which had been a minimal issue for me in angels before man) was mastered during this book. when i say i highlighted at least half of the words, i mean it. i would get a tattoo of so many of these quotes without thinking twice about it. what i’m trying to say is that beyond the plot, the characters and the topics, the writing on its own it’s worth reading (even if the rest of the elements above are as well).
of course, i cannot end this review without mentioning the ending. ABSOLUTELY NAILED IT. the last few chapters were misery and hell (i sobbed my way through them, obviously) and they closed the story far better than i could’ve wished for. unlike with angels before man, i have no idea what the next book may be about. needless to say, the moment it is out i will read it. for now, all i can say is that angels & man went above and beyond all my hopes and expectations. cannot recommend it enough.
October 9, 2025
*2025 update* still thinking about this and still crying.
EVERYTHING HURTS AND IM DYING.
Every page of the last 10% shredded my insides more than the last. I knew it would hurt, Rafael said this one was worse than ABM but jfc, you just cannot prepare yourself adequately for the absolute destruction waiting for you.
One thing remains: Lucifer aka Satan aka the Devil *is* that bitch.
Other things I loved:
- the Angels trying to understand the binary gender system of humans. Ie “I’m not a woman. I’m an angel.” And “you’re not a girl. You’re a demon.”
- Baal being THE PRINCE OF PETTY. It’s a competition for Lucifer’s love and affection and Baal will win. And he’ll be smug as hell about it .
- monster babies aka nephelim
- Cain 😭😭😭😭😭
Need to sob and eat my feelings for a little while before I say more, FRTC but here’s more quotes
And….
And…
And….
’Everything that has ever been birthed has been a monster; we were all birthed from God, the greatest monster of them all,’
EVERYTHING HURTS AND IM DYING.
Every page of the last 10% shredded my insides more than the last. I knew it would hurt, Rafael said this one was worse than ABM but jfc, you just cannot prepare yourself adequately for the absolute destruction waiting for you.
One thing remains: Lucifer aka Satan aka the Devil *is* that bitch.
Other things I loved:
- the Angels trying to understand the binary gender system of humans. Ie “I’m not a woman. I’m an angel.” And “you’re not a girl. You’re a demon.”
- Baal being THE PRINCE OF PETTY. It’s a competition for Lucifer’s love and affection and Baal will win. And he’ll be smug as hell about it .
- monster babies aka nephelim
- Cain 😭😭😭😭😭
Need to sob and eat my feelings for a little while before I say more, FRTC but here’s more quotes
Thinking too much was never good. Angels were made to be dutiful and devoted, not to think
And….
It struck in him that maybe the whole of existence was actually upside down, and that each time an angel flew, he was really falling, and when the demons fell, they had really been the first to take flight.
And…
”I was made for you.” They both knew it.
’You were made for the pierce of my sword, my throat was made for your hands. I was made for you to kill. You were made for me to slaughter.’
“You make me sick.” ’I still dream of you.’
And….
”Just hold me now. The water is rising.”
June 16, 2025
That was painful. I am in pain. Brb cause I need to go cry into my pillow
"Why does God divine punish and divine hurt, divine ache? There is a wound, shaped like God, in me. If there is any mercy in you, why did you create me, only to cast me out?"
"Why does God divine punish and divine hurt, divine ache? There is a wound, shaped like God, in me. If there is any mercy in you, why did you create me, only to cast me out?"
2025-releases
March 5, 2024WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME THIS WAS ANNOUNCED?!??!?!?!?!? I'M GOING TO PASS OUT *screams incoherently*
April 14, 2024
Heartbreaking and gutwrenching, a beautiful story that punches all the air out of your lungs until there is nothing left
April 28, 2024
anyways i need to lay down for a while, especially after that utter tragedy of an ending. Literally nobody got what they wanted and everyone ended up either dead, imprisoned or just miserable.
pros:
+ 10/10 body horror, gotta love it
+ I would party with the demons too, how they turned the horror of their fall into a new life and new love, their loyalty to Lucifer is genuinely pretty wholesome because he is their Father and Mother
+ Lucifer himself is always divine: a beautiful horror making all the horror beautiful if that makes sense, the bitterness and rage towards the God who abandoned him and towards the old love who pushed him down (yet now they want him back? As if, bitch)
+ Michael, my poor, poor Michael........ it was clear that something terrible had happened in between him tearing Lucifer's wings and his first appearance. Gone was the sweet, earnest himbo, replaced by God's Warrior - he had been punished so severely for daring to love that now the thought of it, his own private desire and love towards Lucifer still terrifies him, such an impossibly long time later
+ Rosier & Asmodeus make my heart hurt, like a sweeter Frankenstein & his monster
+ All the genderfuckery and gender-discussion with the demons and the Watcher angels themselves
+ Once again, every sex scene was poetic fucking cinema - for all the demons talk about fucking and orgies, they do make love like gods
cons:
- I still find that indicating thoughts with ' and spoken dialogue with '' is a little unnecessarily confusing and I had to reread some sentences to make sure a character wasn't speaking some outrageous shit out loud
- I noticed a few typos
- There were so many characters that I sometimes had a bit of a difficulty to keep track of all of them
- The beginning was very, very slow and I wasn't Samyaza's biggest fan for most of the book
- The pacing was a bit all over the place
- excuse me but is sweet little Dina GOING TO JUST BE ALONE FOR ALL ETERNITY NOW????????????????
- I kept mistaking him and Danel for each other but thankfully their personalities are complete opposites lol
- tbh I don't entirely understand why Michael worked with the demons against the humans: was it truly just to unleash God's punishment on them? to punish Michael himself too, by forcing him to close proximity to Lucifer?
- I WANTED TO SEE HELL *shakes fist*
tl;dr god is a bitter bitch and everyone suffered because of him
anyway i hope book 3 has Jesus and he's the biggest bro
pros:
+ 10/10 body horror, gotta love it
+ I would party with the demons too, how they turned the horror of their fall into a new life and new love, their loyalty to Lucifer is genuinely pretty wholesome because he is their Father and Mother
+ Lucifer himself is always divine: a beautiful horror making all the horror beautiful if that makes sense, the bitterness and rage towards the God who abandoned him and towards the old love who pushed him down (yet now they want him back? As if, bitch)
+ Michael, my poor, poor Michael........ it was clear that something terrible had happened in between him tearing Lucifer's wings and his first appearance. Gone was the sweet, earnest himbo, replaced by God's Warrior - he had been punished so severely for daring to love that now the thought of it, his own private desire and love towards Lucifer still terrifies him, such an impossibly long time later
+ Rosier & Asmodeus make my heart hurt, like a sweeter Frankenstein & his monster
+ All the genderfuckery and gender-discussion with the demons and the Watcher angels themselves
+ Once again, every sex scene was poetic fucking cinema - for all the demons talk about fucking and orgies, they do make love like gods
cons:
- I still find that indicating thoughts with ' and spoken dialogue with '' is a little unnecessarily confusing and I had to reread some sentences to make sure a character wasn't speaking some outrageous shit out loud
- I noticed a few typos
- There were so many characters that I sometimes had a bit of a difficulty to keep track of all of them
- The beginning was very, very slow and I wasn't Samyaza's biggest fan for most of the book
- The pacing was a bit all over the place
- excuse me but is sweet little Dina GOING TO JUST BE ALONE FOR ALL ETERNITY NOW????????????????
- I kept mistaking him and Danel for each other but thankfully their personalities are complete opposites lol
- tbh I don't entirely understand why Michael worked with the demons against the humans: was it truly just to unleash God's punishment on them? to punish Michael himself too, by forcing him to close proximity to Lucifer?
- I WANTED TO SEE HELL *shakes fist*
tl;dr god is a bitter bitch and everyone suffered because of him
anyway i hope book 3 has Jesus and he's the biggest bro
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 17, 2025
Love as fall. Love as damnation. Love as death.
I knew this book would break my heart. I just didn’t realize how much.
As much as I adored the new characters, I missed Lucifer so much. Every line, every scene, every outfit. His presence was just... magnetic. His chambers live in my head rent-free. His dynamic with Baal? Exactly how I imagined it based on their personalities. It was such a treat to finally get a glimpse of Baal’s POV. Intimate, emotional, powerful.
“You asked because you missed my lies, beloved.”
The first encounter with Michael was electric. His rage, his fear, his love. I was hanging on every word, searching for hidden meaning in every sentence. His inner conflict felt like a storm, and I have no idea how he even functions inside his own head.
“He tried to recall the Lord again, his loving Father. But — ‘Lucifer,’ Michael thought.”
I love him, but I’m still side-eyeing him for that scene.
“I was the first human — Adam and Eve were hardly human, their bodies still made by the hands of God, their faces symmetrical. They could have been angels.
Cain’s story. Absolutely stunning. It was so full, so layered.
And the writing my god. Some lines just hit your soul:
“The angels kissed craters into the moon’s sun-warmed skin, then tied it to a string around an earth.”
“Cotton balls overpopulated the blue sky like sheep roaming along a lake.”
This book was heartbreak and beauty wrapped in prose. Thank you to the author for ripping me to shreds 🖤 I’ll be waiting for book three with tears in my eyes and hope in my heart. 🩵
I knew this book would break my heart. I just didn’t realize how much.
As much as I adored the new characters, I missed Lucifer so much. Every line, every scene, every outfit. His presence was just... magnetic. His chambers live in my head rent-free. His dynamic with Baal? Exactly how I imagined it based on their personalities. It was such a treat to finally get a glimpse of Baal’s POV. Intimate, emotional, powerful.
“You asked because you missed my lies, beloved.”
The first encounter with Michael was electric. His rage, his fear, his love. I was hanging on every word, searching for hidden meaning in every sentence. His inner conflict felt like a storm, and I have no idea how he even functions inside his own head.
“He tried to recall the Lord again, his loving Father. But — ‘Lucifer,’ Michael thought.”
I love him, but I’m still side-eyeing him for that scene.
“I was the first human — Adam and Eve were hardly human, their bodies still made by the hands of God, their faces symmetrical. They could have been angels.
Cain’s story. Absolutely stunning. It was so full, so layered.
And the writing my god. Some lines just hit your soul:
“The angels kissed craters into the moon’s sun-warmed skin, then tied it to a string around an earth.”
“Cotton balls overpopulated the blue sky like sheep roaming along a lake.”
This book was heartbreak and beauty wrapped in prose. Thank you to the author for ripping me to shreds 🖤 I’ll be waiting for book three with tears in my eyes and hope in my heart. 🩵
May 4, 2024
My ask for the author on Tumblr: Hi one thing about A&B I found really interesting is how Samyaza's relationship with Idith almost bordering on feeling like it is a sapphic/lesbian romance? I don't mean that as in any indication in terms of Samyaza's gender, but rather than the wording of their relationship and the context. The way Idith talk about how they were "You and me, girls angry at their fathers enough to hurt themselves and those they love". How Idith's previous husband was abusive, how Samyaza is ambitious yet undervalued (aka jealous for not being an archangel). I saw the ask talking about how the snide remarks Samyaza made about Azazel's relationship with a man made him dislikable, but I saw it stems more from Samyaza's mental connection of men with God, while he loved someone who was also not chosen and even blamed/overlooked by God: a woman. Maybe I'm reading into this too much and maybe it seems like I am relating the lesbian/sapphic experience with hating men. But everything about Samyaza and Idith's relationship felt like my own sapphic/lesbian experience, I dated someone who was self-deprecating yet magnificent like Idith, who was abused by family. I had a lot of internalized homophobia and am not really identifying as a woman, but still a lesbian, feeling overlooked and constantly need to prove myself to my parents. The quick intimacy that grew between Idith and Samyaza felt a lot like that relationship I had, and it did turn toxic in a way that Samyaza and Idith's relationship turned later. But it was the relationship that I keep on remembering the most, since it was akin to both a love based on solidarity/feeling overlooked/intimacy when both parties are feeling lonely and are in one way or another wronged. Even the way Samyaza and Idith's relationship that is toxic feel sapphic. I didn't do anything like Samyaza did when there were intimacy forced happened, and I remember her constant self-deprecation and apologies. Maybe the way I empathize with their relationship is heavily subjective. And me identifying with Samyaza a lot maybe shows that I'm probably not that good of a person either. But I love your writing especially because your characters and their relationships never confine themselves into some kind of purity wholesome category. There are toxicity, there are hurt, there are so much wrong. But there is love, and tenderness. No amount of tragedy makes the love completely go away. Reading Angel & Man feeling like remembering her, both a sense of mourning but also never ending love.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 4, 2024
"it will all be better, said michael, voice tender as meat, "now that man can begin again." "doesn't it make you wish we angels could begin again, as well?"
no thoughts. just #pain and #suffering after reading this. rafael nicolás knows how to write angels/biblical themes (and just pure heartbreak) so perfectly, i need a queer retelling for the entire bible at this point (i'm kidding! i'm toooootally joking! ,,,unless? 😀) this one was a lot slower than angels before man but is still just as good, just as hard to read and somehow even more *rips your heart out, stomps on it, puts it back in your chest and then does it all over again*
no thoughts. just #pain and #suffering after reading this. rafael nicolás knows how to write angels/biblical themes (and just pure heartbreak) so perfectly, i need a queer retelling for the entire bible at this point (i'm kidding! i'm toooootally joking! ,,,unless? 😀) this one was a lot slower than angels before man but is still just as good, just as hard to read and somehow even more *rips your heart out, stomps on it, puts it back in your chest and then does it all over again*
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