Find Me There

by Sara Rian

Find Me There is a collection of short poems written for the griever and the grieved. This collection moves through the broad spectrum of thoughts and emotions that one may encounter while grieving. Its purpose is to connect the experiences of both missing and honoring our loved ones who have died.

Genres: Poetry, Grief

143 pages, Paperback

Published February 24, 2024

Reviews

[Jenny Hamby · Rating 5 out of 5]

After losing my young daughter, I’ve read each of her books. I have yet to find a poet who can put into words what I’m feeling as deftly and beautifully as Sara Rian can. I appreciate that her art is universally poignant despite our grief-stories being so different.

[Anna · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book has been so so helpful. Not only does it absolutely speak to the raw grief I’m experiencing- it also helps me share with my loved one things I really struggle to articulate. I’m so thankful to author Sara Rian for these beautiful poems.

[Rachel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sara allowed me to find the words my heart couldn’t say at losing my husband. Thank you for making me feel seen.

[Sandi Mueller · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have never read a book of poems before. But this one, THIS ONE, is hands down my favorite. It is so point on and beautiful. Clearly written by someone who has experienced grief in such a way that her words become a comfort to the entire grief community. Every single time I read her words, rian has said what’s on my heart. It’s a book I have gifted to other grieving parents and one I will constantly reference. I’m so thankful I stumbled upon her words as they have now become a part of my grief journey and they’ve healed my heart.

[Tali · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book made me realize so many things about my grief that I could never have put into words. Sara’s poems are haunting and chillingly beautiful. I cried so much while reading because her words spoke exactly what I was feeling. If you are dealing with grief and want the “hurts so good” type of healing, this is for you.

[Kirstyn Simonsen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. I open it often and every page is so relatable and true in the awful journey of deep grief.

[Terrah · Rating 5 out of 5]

a great book

Sara did an amazing job with this book too. Go grab your tissues, you’ll need them. Thank you for writing these books

[Jessica · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every poem understands the journey of grief.

[Lauren Puckett · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was so so good. Every poem explained the depth of my grief in a few select words. I feel so seen. Thank you Sarah for writing this as a love letter to those we’ve lost.

[Anne · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF at 50%. Not a fan of “insta-poetry,” but if that is your jam, then you’d probably enjoy it. To me, each poem says something generic and so lacks the kind of specificity that allows me to build a connection with it. Ok, grief is hard. Why? How does the poet/speaker know grief? What happened specifically? I want to know the story behind the sentiment. I know grief is hard. Why was grief hard for *you*? Take me on the journey. Show me your grief. There was also zero variation in form and no unique use of enjambment—that I discerned anyway. But again, this style of writing à la Rupi Kaur, Amanda Lovelace, and the like is really popular, so readers who enjoy that style of writing will likely get more enjoyment out of it than I did. Sorry :(

Grief poetry that I have loved and resonated that take the reader on a journey with them:
Meredith Martinez - When I Say Love
Annie Marhefka - How We Celebrate Your Birthday After You Die
Cristin O’Keefe Aptowicz - The First Checkup After My Mother Died
Callista Buchen - Taking Care
Jack Gilbert - Michiko Dead
Jack Gilbert - Married
W.S. Merwin - Separation
Krystle May Statler's entire collection Prayer for Relief
Trapper Markelz entire collection Childproof Sky (but especially his poem "Sleeping Together")

*Update* Because there has been outrage over my one-star review, I wrote this blog post about one-star reviews and my conversation with an angry fan. You can read it here:
https://annemariewells.substack.com/p...

[Angela Ellis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Her poetry is my FAVE.

[Tiffani Is Reading Obsessively · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely. Incredible.
Very few words are used to describe the indescribable.
If you're feeling alone, like the only one to experience bone deep grief, just read this. You'll feel seen. Related too, and be given the words to explain what feels like just a messy mass/roller coaster of emotions.
I will forever be re reading this book of poems.

.. I hope I'm allowed to share a few.


"I hate that people must meet you
Through my tears and pain
When they should be meeting
You. Just you.
They should see your smile
And hear your voice firsthand
Not through pictures or poetry.
I wish people could see that beauty
Without the shadow of sadness"


"Your love is not measured
By how many breaths they took.
If they took any at all.
It does not matter
How long you had them.
A minute or a century.
Love is not measured by time.
And your grief will not be either."


"A griever's imagination
Grows stronger every day.
We dream in the daytime.
We see their smiles and tired eyes in the morning.
We seem them laughing in our quiet homes.
Playing out moments with our person.
The moments taken when they died.
As if the years we played pretend as children
Were actually there to prepare us for loss.
You will want to call us crazy
But if you see a griever staring
Into an empty room
Just leave them be.
Soon they will be back
And broken once more."

[Bethany Odom Waddell · Rating 5 out of 5]

A good read for anyone grieving the loss of a loved one. This spoke to me as I read it on my bff’s birthday, the second one since she passed away. I read it all in one sitting… and didn’t even go through a whole box of Kleenex!


A few excerpts below that feel especially right today:

“so here we are. another year without you. they did say time would heal me. it’s becoming quite easy now. like being held underwater and learning how to breathe.”

“sometimes i feel crazy when the pain feels so overwhelming. but then i remember the love and it all makes sense.”

“on an ordinary day there is frustration. exhaustion. overwhelm. we are allowed to feel without comparison. but i hope we take time to remember that when we curse our messy homes there is a mother staring at a clean floor begging to have her child back. when your parent calls you again and again because the remote isn't working, there is someone listening to their parent's last voicemail. again and again. when your spouse comes home without the milk, there is a person in tears staring at a door that their partner will never walk through again. no. you don't need to wash away the ordinary feelings on an ordinary day. just make sure gratitude has a space to sit.”

[Isla · Rating 5 out of 5]

My personal experience of grief, following the deaths of my husband/soulmate and my Mum, is that it is monumental and relentless. Every single thing in my life has changed and the only constants that remain are the pain and the love. That Sara Rian has been able to capture so many of the infinite horrors and wounds of grief so honestly and absolutely is remarkable. In a culture where grief is mostly something you are supposed to do in private for 12 months and then “move on”, to know that someone else can see the truth of your experience provides comfort in ways that really matter. These poems are a precious lifeline to those of us grieving alone, those of us who lose our voices in our grief, and those of us who don’t dare to try and speak the words to describe our pain for fear that if we open our mouth to speak we might start to scream our hurt and never be able to stop… I consider this collection of poems a gift from someone I have never met who understands that which is not understandable.

[Ashley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely incredible!!!! Sara has seriously blessed us all. If I ever get the chance to meet her, I would say back you. Loss and grief are so hard to deal with especially is you feel like the only one. Her poetry is 10/10 and reach book is worth the purchase.

[harriyanna hasanati hook · Rating 5 out of 5]

as someone who doesn't care for poetry and is filled with so much grief from the last 5 years of my life, this book broke me. i appreciate how simple each poem was. but the simplicity of the poems made them much more hurtful, because of how understanding they were.

[Hannah Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

😭😭😭

[Cassandra · Rating 5 out of 5]

I lost my dad Dec 3rd and I needed this

[Meg · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sara Rian is frequently the voice of collective grief, I am so grateful that she was able to put these thoughts and feelings into coherent poetry

[marta · Rating 4 out of 5]

4,5 🌼

[Tannis · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was like the author saw into my grieving heart and wrote down everything I was feeling. I bawled through the whole thing