Small Ghost

by Trista Mateer

Sweet reassurance and validation for anyone feeling adrift—this collection of verse, illustrations, and photography is a poetic refuge far away from loneliness.

A delicate blend of melancholy reflections and absurd hopefulness, Small Ghost explores the exhausting reality of struggling with mental health. Mateer’s conversational style, infused with vulnerability and thoughtfulness, transforms mundane experiences into wistful musings. Panic attacks at the grocery store and days spent wasting away in bed are met with humor and care.

Lauren Zaknoun’s evocative photography and the poet’s own illustrations add a whimsical, irreverent touch to the collection. With Small Ghost, Trista Mateer holds out a hand and offers solace to those who may feel otherwise isolated in their peculiarities.

Genres: Poetry, Mental Health, Nonfiction, Ebooks, Mental Illness, Self Help, Ghosts

180 pages, Kindle Edition

First published October 9, 2015

About the author

Trista Mateer is the bestselling author of multiple poetry collections, including Aphrodite Made Me Do It and Honeybee. She is a passionate mental health advocate, currently writing in South Carolina. Connect with her on Instagram and Tiktok @tristamateer or at tristamateer.com.
​
Her newest collection, Artemis Made Me Do It, is available for preorder now and releases in September 2022!

Reviews

[Jessi ❤️ H. Vojsk [if villain, why hot?] · Rating 4 out of 5]

it's strange
all the things
you forget about
when you can't find
the scars
to prove they happened
anymore

[Alice-Elizabeth (Prolific Reader Alice) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very short collection of poems and illustrations highlighting anxiety and depression. Despite the length, this was a good read. Available on KU to borrow!

[Brooke · Rating 5 out of 5]

⭐️ A MILLION stars ⭐️

I long for the sun but the moon always finds me instead.

I’ve never felt the need to highlight an entire book.
I want it all permanently tattooed into my brain.
I felt every piece of this, every verse, every poem, every word.
The author dug into my soul and found my small ghost and wrote about her in these pages.

I picked this up for the cute ghostie cover, not expecting anything, not even reading the blurb.
Small ghost is a collection of poems, with themes of depression and mental health issues, grief and loneliness. I connected with this author’s story, with the small ghost that replaces us during rough times, the difficulties of everyday life for a ghost.
This read felt personal, raw, emotional.

SELF-MEDICATING WITH WHATEVER MAKES YOU FORGET YOU’RE ALIVE.

Small ghost plays Skyrim - Small ghost play Animal Crossing - Small Ghost downloads Sims 4 just to feel alive, just to have a purpose. Guilty.

It’s hard and it’s not getting less hard
It’s hard and it’s not getting easier.
It’s hard and it’s not getting better.

I don’t know if it still hasn’t been edited or if the author intended for the poems to be so disjointed and chaotic, but the formatting I got kind of fit even more with the vibe, the chaos of the little ghost, the jumble of thoughts my own brain goes through, the haze depression leaves you with. I loved the pictures and drawings as well. It felt very nostalgic, like I was a teenager again writing my own poems and quotes.

hey / me again / sorry for disappearing / I was trapped in a nightmare / I hope you forgive me / I forgot how to be human for a while / and now I’m remembering

I loved the message the author leaves you with, the hope for better days, the encouragement to not give up just yet.

I promise it’s worth it to stay. You will not always be the ghost haunting your own life. I believe in you.

This read made me feel human, made me cry and smile. I don’t feel so alone anymore.
I feel seen.

How many quotes is too many in one review? Ah, fuck it. They make me happy.

I think if you’re very lucky / maybe one day you won’t have to survive anymore / and you’ll just be able to live

I received a free copy of this book from NetGalley, and am leaving this honest review voluntarily.

CW (spoilers):
- Depression
- Anxiety
- Mental health issues
- Suicidal ideation
- Grief
- Loss

[Renee Godding · Rating 3 out of 5]

"it's strange
all the things
you forget about
when you can't find
the scars
to prove they happened
anymore"

Here’s a fun fact about me: I don’t like 21st-century- “tumblr-style”-poetry. Miss me with your Rupi Kaur’s and Amanda Lovelace’s please… Yet Small Ghost is an example of very rule having its exception. I actually really enjoyed this little ghostly collection.

Trista Mateer explores themes of depression, mental health and coming of age in our modern world filled with wonders and challenges. Depression has been explored through many metaphors throughout fiction, and Small Ghost is a simple but striking one. I’ve lived part of my life as a Small Ghost, and maybe you have too. In that case, you will for sure find something to relate to in here.
Trista Mateer has something that many other “Tumblr-style” poems lack for me; there’s sense of rhythm to them and they paint a picture in my mind. That picture is supported and enhanced by the beautiful layout of this new publication. The poems are surrounded by little drawings and surrealist pictures of our titular ghost. While the drawings in the original 2015 edition were just cutesy, the pictures in this collection give off a bit of a vintage-gloom-vibe, that matches the poems well.
It will depend on the person which version you prefer. For me, the new images really worked wonderfully and made this collection a feast, both verbally and visually.

Many thanks to Central Avenue Poetry for providing me with an ARC in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.

[Devin The Book Dragon · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read this originally in Sept of 2022, but was recently sent an ARC via Netgalley in exchange for a review.

Trista Mateer is one of my favorite poets of all time, however, I just think this collection is not as good as her other works. Honeybee is my favorite poetry collection of right now, and I still recommend that everyone check out her other works.

I thought this collection did not have as many punchy, gut-wrenching lines as her other collections. It was starting to get a little repetitive with "small ghost does this, small ghost does that".

I will still auto-buy every collection that Mateer puts out, and I think for the right person this could be a really good poetry book to read.

[Mariah · Rating 3 out of 5]

If there is a poem about a dog there is an 100% chance that I'm already crying.

[Franzi · Rating 5 out of 5]

this almost made me tear up in class xoxo

[Zach Huselid · Rating 5 out of 5]

Adorable. Sad as hell. Which is a combination I have come to expect and enjoy from Trista's work (I know convention is that you aren't supposed to call an author just by their first name but I think our Snapchat history alone means convention is out the window at this point). The illustrations are also an excellent touch, adding a sort of whimsy that harmonizes well with the maudlin-yet-eventually-optimistic tone of the poetry. Naturally, by the end of it I was bawling.

Or to just post the text I sent the author, because really that says it all:

"GOD DAMMIT YOUR STUPID SMALL GHOST BOOK MADE ME CRY I LOVE IT YOURE WONDERFUL HOW DOES YOUR POETRY ALWAYS MANAGE TO STICK ITS HAND INTO MY CHEST AND SQUEEZE MY HEART UNTIL IT BURSTS NO SERIOUSLY ITS GREAT AND RIGHT AT THE END I JUST STSRTED LEAKING FROM MH FACEHOLES"

[Juju ♡ ～('▽^人) · Rating 4 out of 5]

it's sad, and it's relatable, and it's depicting these feelings well, and sometimes it doesn't seem like it'll get better. sometimes it doesn't get better, not for a while, but everything that is difficult and hard will pass.

[Lianne Hare · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of the shortest reads I’ve picked up in a while but it’s probably had the most impact whilst reading.

Small Ghost is a collection of poems and wonderful illustrations that really grabbed every fibre of my anxious and depressed body. So many of these felt so raw and relatable, I could have easily said they were written about my own thoughts and feelings.

I would say if you’re ready to address depression, anxiety, grief and loss then this may just be worth picking up and taking your time to read and really give yourself the space to feel everything you need to. An outstanding collection, I will likely read these again in the future

Thank you to Netgalley for sending me this ARC in exchange for an honest review.

[⋆｡‧˚ʚ Emma ɞ˚‧｡⋆ · Rating 4 out of 5]

"𝒊 𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒈 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒖𝒏 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒐𝒏 𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒇𝒊𝒏𝒅𝒔 𝒎𝒆 𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒂𝒅"

Small ghost is a deeply relatable poetry collection about feeling like the ghost of who you once were. I can somehow see myself in every pages and there’s something so comforting about that.
The art and photography between the poems are a nice touch too!

𝙈𝙖𝙣𝙮 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙠𝙨 𝙩𝙤 𝙉𝙚𝙩𝙜𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙚𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝘾𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙡 𝘼𝙫𝙚𝙣𝙪𝙚 𝙋𝙪𝙗𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙡𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙢𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙗𝙤𝙤𝙠 𝙞𝙣 𝙚𝙭𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙖𝙣 𝙝𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙧𝙚𝙫𝙞𝙚𝙬!

[Cozy Beauty Reads · Rating 4 out of 5]

The one thing I can mention about Small Ghost is the writing style it's not something I'm naturally use to. But I guess you get use to it while you are reading through it. These poems talked mainly about anxiety and depression and how it has affected the author (or anyone for that matter) for someone who actually deals with anxiety on the daily basis -- the author did depict anxiety and depression correctly without being triggering (at least for me)


I liked the art work, and I loved that there was a happy ending (a dog to help ease and bring happiness to the author) in the end she took off the sheet and was able to live life. It's very hard to live with a mental illness (I should know) but knowing you can live and still be happy while getting help. So I enjoyed Small Ghost I wanted most artwork though.

[Emma · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful illustrations, and wonderful, inventive poems that perfectly express how terrifying and exhausting and hopeless mental illnesses can feel. With the mixture of blunt emotional honesty and self deprecating humour, it's an especially millennial collection that strikes a chord so well because it speaks in our language and on our level. Adorable and sad and a little bit hopeful.

[Sasha Elise · Rating 5 out of 5]

This gets better and more relatable everytime I read it. I am small ghost. I feel small ghost. We are one.

[Megan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley and Central Avenue Publishing for the ARC in exchange for an honest review!

Small Ghost walks you through the mind of someone struggling with their mental health, specifically someone experiencing depression and anxiety. The poetry and illustrations by Trista Mateer and photography by Lauren Zaknoun together beautifully capture this painstakingly difficult experience of existing with mental health struggles. As someone who has a history of mental illness, I found that a lot of these poems and images really resonated with me. There was a lot of repetition, but I don’t necessarily find that to be a bad thing. This collection of poems is really deep without having to use super complex structures or verbiage, which I personally appreciate. This is to say, if you’re looking for a lot of variety and complexity, this one may not be for you, but I quite enjoyed it!
Some of my favorites were: small ghost collects things, small ghost plays animal crossing, small ghost barely remembers her childhood, small ghost downloads sims 4, and apology tour

Be sure to check Small Ghost out when it publishes on September 24th!

[betsy · Rating 5 out of 5]

i have been a huge fan of @tristamateer for ages and small ghost is so so special 🤍 trista so perfectly captures feeling so low and clawing your way out of the darkness. do yourself a favor and read this when it comes out 9/24

[Heather Fox · Rating 4 out of 5]

Super short, super cute & super sad. Loved the varying styles of the poems & the illustrations were adorable. The last poem was definitely my favourite - ‘small ghost looks to the future’

[Lauren · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very beautiful writing

[Cookielover · Rating 4 out of 5]

like a hug

[alex mora · Rating 5 out of 5]

Disclaimer: I received a free electronic ARC via Netgalley in exchange for feedback.

Small Ghost is a punch to the guts wrapped in the tender hope one strives to while fighting a mental illness. I found the poems to be raw, and at many times — relatable. There is also beautiful art pieces which are a companion to several of the poems within this collection. I highly recommend this work, particularly for anyone that finds themselves reflecting on what it means to stay alive.

[A · Rating 3 out of 5]

i don't relate to much of it but I love the concept

[Tye Rose · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Stay long enough to say you tried everything."

A very real and raw collection of poems with a focus on depression and isolation. As someone who has dealt with my fair share of mental health hurdles, reading this felt like reading an old diary. The first half was a bit difficult to get through, but the second half allowed for a bit of hope. I'd recommend this for anyone who's felt like giving up, as a reminder that you are not alone and you are worth trying for.

Thanks to Net Galley & the publisher for this full length e-ARC.

[Sasha Elise · Rating 5 out of 5]

so there's this business the sad ghost club and it's all about learning to be okay with your sadness and not letting it consume you. that's what this book is. small ghost trying to navigate everything going on with her and trying to not let it consume her. i'm a proud member of the sad ghost club and small ghost's fanclub.

[Taylor · Rating 5 out of 5]

"it's so easy to feel trampled by absolutely nothing"

I adore Trista Mateer because she is honest and raw and I feel comforted having many of the same emotions and thoughts on a daily basis.

this brief collection of poems is currently free on amazon .

[amanda · Rating 5 out of 5]

SMALL GHOST FALLS IN LOVE

her love is warm and a little wet sometimes
her love always comes when it's called
her love hogs the bed but she doesn't mind

(spoiler: her love is a puppy. i agree.)

this was both sad and adorable and i loved it. the illustrations were so simple and sweet.

[lia · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.25!! rtc

[Nicole Field · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think the main thing stifling my enjoyment of this novel for me was that I actually thought for most of the story that the Small Ghost and the other character in poems not titled with 'Small Ghost' in it were two different characters. It kind of skewed my read a little bit.

But yeah, okay, this is a poetry collection about mental illness when it gets to its worst. Like, the point of view character just doesn't wanna be here anymore and feels as disattached from the world as a ghost itself.

I think, if I hadn't have finished this book all the way to the end, I would have felt very differently because it was the last quarter where psychology began to work, meds began to work and things started to get better. It wasn't an easy fix so much as an acknowledgment of an uphill climb back normalcy and finding out where her life is at now.

And that was cathartic as hell, not at all simplifying mental illness, yet still showing that healing can come.

[Anna Long · Rating 3 out of 5]

I feel conflicted on my rating (2.5/3).
The idea of writing a collection about my struggles with depression and suicidal thoughts, only to have it picked apart by people on the internet, is a soul-crushing.
While I related to the emotions behind the words, the structure of the poems wasn’t what I was hoping for. I prefer my poetry to be a little less on the nose, and a little more foggy in nature, so I think that’s what the disconnect was for me. I did have a few poems that wowed me, all of which I bookmarked in case I want to go back to read them again.

I will never not pick up something Trista writes, though. ♥️

[Alexandra · Rating 3 out of 5]

it’s strange all the things you forget about
when you can’t find the scars to prove they happened
anymore
∼
she doesn’t understand how there are so many lonely people
who are afraid to talk about their loneliness outside of the internet
like speaking the word in a coffee shop downtown
might make it too real
∼
she makes things so people know she’s still here
she makes things so she knows she’s still here
∼
it’s hard to watch you clean up messes
when she feels like one herself

[Isabelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

A journey of self love

This poetry anthology explores the links between depression, anxiety and the internet - our lives have become obsessed around other people's judgement of us and how we can position our life on social media/how we can dress in the morning in order to impress a stranger. It is an understated and short collection but it's message is powerful.