This book was such a disappointment. And normally I wouldn’t even leave a review, but I was so in love with the first book (it was one of my top books of the year so far), and I was so excited for this one…only to have everything fall apart spectacularly in the first 3 pages. And everything only gets worse…and worse…and worse from there.
I need to rant so be warned. This will be long and there are spoilers ahead!!!
Everything about this book irritated me and it all comes back to Salem and the way that a father’s grief is handled. I loved her in the first book, and yet here she was completely unlikable and nothing about her was root worthy. The first book ends with the sudden and tragic death of Thayer’s son and Thayer pushing Salem away while he was in a downward spiral and grieving the loss of his son. And yet somehow this gets completely downplayed and swept away in favor of Salem’s heartbreak. It’s all about her pain, her suffering, the fact that he never reached out to her in the 6 years apart.
I’m sorry, but the death of a child is one of the worst things anyone can experience, especially when it’s a tragic accident. And Thayer pushing Salem away when he’s in pain and is grieving isn’t even in the same vicinity of the heartbreak and suffering Thayer experienced. Salem having to pick up a few liquor bottles and not having a jogging partner anymore is not even close to a father finding his son face down in a pool and then having to bury him. Thayer is allowed to grieve. He’s allowed to spiral. He’s allowed to push people away in the aftermath because he’s hurting and in pain. It had only been a few weeks after Forrest’s death before Salem just gave up and moved to NY.
And not only does she just pick up and move away but she’s pregnant and makes the decision to keep his daughter a secret for SIX YEARS. Using a father’s grief as a justification for never telling him he has a child and keeping him away from her is not ok. Just because she was hurt, it is not a justification for lying to him for six years. He was hurting too, but she doesn’t even give him a chance to be a father to their daughter.
No, instead she marries the ex boyfriend she cheated on with Thayer, let’s him raise Thayer’s daughter, married him knowing Caleb loves her more than she loves him, and is still in love with another man the whole time they’re together.
And when Salem finally tells Thayer the truth about their daughter, he isn’t even allowed to be angry. What’s the point of having a MC lie for 6 years about a secret love child if we don’t even get the angst of him being angry over it? Or at least conflicted. He isn’t allowed a single moment of hurt that she lied to him for 6 years, that she kept his daughter away from him for 6 years, that he missed 6 years of his daughter’s life after already suffering the loss of all those years he would never have with his son, and that she married another man who raised his daughter for 6 years. That she just decided he was incapable of helping raise their child because he pushed her away in the weeks following a horrible tragedy, and never thought even once to check in with him, see how he is, and maybe tell him the truth.
No, he actually apologizes to her because apparently a father isn’t allowed to spiral after the death of his child and is just expected to get over it and be in a healthy happy place after just one year. (Insert eye roll). If not, sorry! You don’t deserve to be apart of your child’s life. Caleb isn’t even allowed to be angry at her, Thayer isn’t allowed to be angry, Seda isn’t allowed to be angry. Everybody just pats her on the back and tells her she’s a good person and to stop beating herself up. But she isn’t even all that sad over lying to Thayer, and it seems like she never would have told him the truth if she hadn’t moved back home to take care of her mom, which makes me even angrier about the whole thing. She feels completely justified in it because he hurt her and then never reached out to her. Never mind the fact that she moved to NY and then got engaged to another man and married him only a year later. What was Thayer supposed to do? And then she actually has the audacity to be angry at him for being in a better and healthier place, for being a friend to her mother, for helping her mother because boo boo “why didn’t he call me?” All the while knowing she’s been keeping his daughter from him.
The whole thing came off like she was punishing him because he rejected her, and it rubbed me so completely wrong. Salem was unlikable, a liar, and a coward. I think having Thayer’s POV in the first book where we see exactly what he was thinking and feeling and what a grieving father looks like, would have benefitted this one because Salem came off completely selfish with her “woe is me” act. Even though we get his POV here, Thayer’s pain and loss took a backseat to Salem’s and was used as more of a plot point for her story in book 1 and book 2, and used as a justification for all of her terrible choices, and I’m sorry but the death of a child will always trump a man pushing you away because he’s grieving. And it’s a little insulting that Salem tries equate the two, like yeah he’s hurting but I hurt too. Let me keep his child from him! And it’s all about Thayer having to grovel and prove himself to Salem and Salem’s mistakes are just brushed away and glossed over.
And after all this, after she finally tells him the truth at 30%, nothing really happens for the final 70%. It’s basically one long epilogue. No angst. No conflict. Nothing. So it was really all for nothing. Which makes me wish that this story had ended in book one and I could have avoided all this unnecessary drama and frustration.
While I’m happy that Thayer and Salem get their happy ending, the first 30% ruined what could have been a beautiful love story. I’m giving it 2 stars just for Thayer and Seda because I loved them so much.