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Contested Possession
This Is My Church
“Church boys don’t come out of the closet to marry cocaine snorting dudes who like to take it up the—”
Mates with everyone and beholden to none, Lacy is a twenty-seven-year-old football superstar who parties as hard as he plays. It makes no sense for him to become best mates with their new ruckman, the bible reading, softly spoken celibate, Thaddeus Clay.
But from the moment the freshly traded twenty-three-year-old walks into the locker room, they do everything together.
Well, almost everything.
When Thad stumbles upon Lacy’s extracurriculars—a drug-fuelled gangbang where Lacy loses consciousness to the number of men who take him—he knows they can’t do that together.
But what Thad does next will change the course of their relationship in irreversible ways. Except Lacy doesn’t remember. And Thad is left with a secret that threatens his friendship and his faith.
Lacy knows he never stood a chance with a church boy, but when Thad avoids eye contact he’s left with one question—what the hell happened on the weekend?
This Is My Church carves a path through gangbangs, benders and a whole lot of praying to find out what it means to be truly loved.
Mates with everyone and beholden to none, Lacy is a twenty-seven-year-old football superstar who parties as hard as he plays. It makes no sense for him to become best mates with their new ruckman, the bible reading, softly spoken celibate, Thaddeus Clay.
But from the moment the freshly traded twenty-three-year-old walks into the locker room, they do everything together.
Well, almost everything.
When Thad stumbles upon Lacy’s extracurriculars—a drug-fuelled gangbang where Lacy loses consciousness to the number of men who take him—he knows they can’t do that together.
But what Thad does next will change the course of their relationship in irreversible ways. Except Lacy doesn’t remember. And Thad is left with a secret that threatens his friendship and his faith.
Lacy knows he never stood a chance with a church boy, but when Thad avoids eye contact he’s left with one question—what the hell happened on the weekend?
This Is My Church carves a path through gangbangs, benders and a whole lot of praying to find out what it means to be truly loved.
420 pages, Kindle Edition
Published April 23, 2024
45 people are currently reading
332 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 93 reviews
December 21, 2024
The title being a direct quote from something said after a gangbang in a bath house was not on my bingo card.
Neither was this a book I expected to be more sweetness than horn. And there was plenty of sexual stuff going on, believe me.
Somehow, Gangbang Lacy and we’re-all-God’s-creatures-Thaddeus were a match made in heaven. Who'd have thunk?
Obviously there was a LOT of religious fueled wringing of hands(and delusion).
Thad did some unintentionally hurtful stuff but the one thing he had going was that he never once judged Lacy. For any of it. Not the drugs. Not the gangbangs. As far as he was concerned, Lacy was the Second Cumming lol.
Could never quite believe someone like Lacy would deign to be with lil' old him. No. All the judgement was reserved for himself.
Having grown up in the church, he couldn't align his 'special friendship' with Lacy to what he believed at the core of his being to be wrong in the eyes of God.
But they made a good go at accepting each other. Atheist Lacy setting aside a room in his house for a Jesus figurine, Bible and desk for Thad to pray from when he'd spend the night at Lacy's.
Until the night he found Thad praying out loud for the sin he kept committing with Lacy and asking God for the strength to stop.
Everything pretty much went to shit after that. Thad's commitment to honesty was NOT doing him any favors in that conversation.
The truth did set him free, though. Because Lacy dumped THE FUCK out of him💀
And honestly he deserved it. Because....
"What was your plan? To keep repenting every day for the rest of our lives?"
"No. Just until—"
"Just until what?"
"Just until nothing. It was nothing."
"Finish that sentence."
"Just until I get married."
💀💀💀💀💀
To be fair, he did make up for that ridiculousness. Took him almost a year to get through but hey. Figured he needed time to really marinate in the consequences so I ain't mad at it.
That said. Trigger warnings.
While this was exceptionally well written in a way that didn't overwhelm me, it still features very vivid descriptions of these two in gangbang scenarios.
And their first time involves Lacy high as a kite and unaware of what's going on or who is fucking him. And, no. Not in a rape way. Lacy's very clear that he goes to those gangbangs so whoever wants can use him. Probably just didn't figure his kumbayah bestie would be in the lineup as part of a misguided attempt to 'save him from worse'.
Neither was this a book I expected to be more sweetness than horn. And there was plenty of sexual stuff going on, believe me.
Somehow, Gangbang Lacy and we’re-all-God’s-creatures-Thaddeus were a match made in heaven. Who'd have thunk?
Obviously there was a LOT of religious fueled wringing of hands(and delusion).
Thad did some unintentionally hurtful stuff but the one thing he had going was that he never once judged Lacy. For any of it. Not the drugs. Not the gangbangs. As far as he was concerned, Lacy was the Second Cumming lol.
Could never quite believe someone like Lacy would deign to be with lil' old him. No. All the judgement was reserved for himself.
Having grown up in the church, he couldn't align his 'special friendship' with Lacy to what he believed at the core of his being to be wrong in the eyes of God.
But they made a good go at accepting each other. Atheist Lacy setting aside a room in his house for a Jesus figurine, Bible and desk for Thad to pray from when he'd spend the night at Lacy's.
Until the night he found Thad praying out loud for the sin he kept committing with Lacy and asking God for the strength to stop.
Everything pretty much went to shit after that. Thad's commitment to honesty was NOT doing him any favors in that conversation.
The truth did set him free, though. Because Lacy dumped THE FUCK out of him💀
And honestly he deserved it. Because....
"What was your plan? To keep repenting every day for the rest of our lives?"
"No. Just until—"
"Just until what?"
"Just until nothing. It was nothing."
"Finish that sentence."
"Just until I get married."
💀💀💀💀💀
To be fair, he did make up for that ridiculousness. Took him almost a year to get through but hey. Figured he needed time to really marinate in the consequences so I ain't mad at it.
That said. Trigger warnings.
While this was exceptionally well written in a way that didn't overwhelm me, it still features very vivid descriptions of these two in gangbang scenarios.
And their first time involves Lacy high as a kite and unaware of what's going on or who is fucking him. And, no. Not in a rape way. Lacy's very clear that he goes to those gangbangs so whoever wants can use him. Probably just didn't figure his kumbayah bestie would be in the lineup as part of a misguided attempt to 'save him from worse'.
December 22, 2024
You might hope that a romance between a Total Slut (TM) and a Religious Nut would be angsty and smoking hot. You would be wrong.
won-t-read-bc-nopes
January 5, 2025Only entering this so it isn't on my to-read shelf. I cannot read this book. But, for those without my "no sex with non-MCs" hangup, I HIGHLY recommend it, and absolutely everything this author writes. She is a cut above most and brilliant with human instinct and insights, and I am confident this book is just as unusual and beautiful as all the ones I've loved from her. Not rating it bc I haven't read it and would never rate her down. Sasha's remarkable.
But also...OH this COVER!!! Love it so much. 😍
But also...OH this COVER!!! Love it so much. 😍
April 23, 2024
I was waiting for Lacy’s book for so long, I could not wait to see what Sasha was going to do with this character. I adore this series, Sasha does not shy away from subject most other authors would never attempt. This is one of the reasons I anticipate each new book, I admire the way she handles each tough topic and enjoy reading. This book in particular for me truly shows what she does. I am not going to get into the whole story you can find that the synopsis. For me it’s really focused on the characters and watching them build a relationship together. This one was a bit different for me and wonderful. Another fantastic story in this series and can’t wait for Jack’s book 🤞
May 7, 2024
Tropes/Things to know:
🏳🌈 Church boy/Party boy
🏳🌈 Australian football
🏳🌈 Strict top/bottom roles
🏳🌈 Religious themes throughout
🏳🌈 Friends to Lovers
🏳🌈 Medium angst but worth the struggle
🏳🌈 Slow burn
🏳🌈 Third quarter break up that huuuuurts
I'm not sure I can organize my thoughts about this book so be prepared for this "review" to be all over the place.
First thanks to GRR for a copy of this book to read and review. I don't know that I would have stumbled across this book or author otherwise. And I'm so thankful because I can't wait to read more of her amazing work. These two and their story, their connection, Thad's purity and acceptance of Lacy no matter what? Chefs kiss. If only everyone had a Thad.
But Lacy laughed. "Believe me, that is for the best. You don't wanna see me in that state."
"There is no state you could be in, in which I wouldn't accept you," Thad replied.
So... I don't think I've ever read a story of a "church boy" with a normal guy. I'm hesitant to call Lacy a party boy even though my trope did. He really isn't. He's a guy who likes to party but he's not so enmeshed with the scene he can't pull back from it. Once he had Thad in his life he partied when he needed to blow off steam but it wasn't his life. His life was spending time with Thad and the occasional sex party.
Sidebar: really wish the opening line listed in the advertising was something else. This quote is a bit extreme and not reflective of the vibe of the book in my opinion. It's probably one of the more extreme lines in the book and almost made me not read it... “Church boys don’t come out of the closet to marry cocaine snorting dudes who like to take it up the—” First it was a bit confusing (as well as off putting because I wasn't used to Lacy's distinctive voice yet). Before reading the book I wondered if "Church" was like a last name or something. Is this a story about the Church family boys? But no, it's a story about a religious boy who falls in love with another guy.
Lacy's not a typical bad boy either. He's a pretty open minded queer guy who prefers guys over women. He's sexual active and knows what he wants. He slowly falls in love with his best friend who he's afraid is going to find out about the sex parties he attends. This does happen and leads to revelation of Thad realizing he wants Lacy. Bad. This scene to me was explosive and amazing but led to so much angst. 😭
Thad though? Thad would have a heart attack and probably have to quit football so he could spend all his time repenting for Lacy's soul. Oh ye of little faith 🤣
The writing isn't American English (Australia) so there were some slang and words that I wasn't familiar with. And for an ARC and ebook and a kind of long book I was really shocked there weren't any typos. I only found one: "Marshall Arts" over "martial arts" when talking about Parks. The quality of the writing and story were great. Really.
Thad was the sweetest guy. He's the type of guy who just needs one person. Period. He seems to imprint on Lacy. Thad does seem a bit ...slow... at times. Maybe that's a mean interpretation. Maybe he's more single minded in his focus. Maybe his emotional intelligence is lacking. Someone else in a review called him "naïve" but I don't see it like that. I think he was written as simple, pure hearted, earnest to a fault. His religious enthusiasm
Why? You wanna reform me?"
"No, never," Thad replied.
I especially appreciated how the sex parties brought out a side of Thad he otherwise wouldn't have known about. They truly fit together. Two halves of a whole. These two belong together. Thad allows Lacy to pursue his release, while also meeting needs Lacy didn't really allow himself to acknowledge he had. Needs to be safe, protected, loved by one person, allowed to have a boyfriend and his other fun on the side.
"I can handle my shit. What I can't handle is anyone fuckin' with my boyfriend," he said.
I love how protective Lacy becomes of Thad. He gives him space to grieve his family but he also doesn't take shit off anyone. I also applaud the author for not having some huge coming out. They were out where the needed to be. Not every queer person has to have some huge coming out to the world. We tell one person, then another. Just like in casual conversation a straight person might mention their boyfriend or girlfriend or that they are married or have a kid. I welcome the day when none of us have to come out because everyone allows people the safe space to just be and share what they want. No assumptions necessary.
Lacy carded his hand through his hair. "For what it's worth? I reckon this is my church."
"What is?" Thad said against his skin.
"You and me," Lacy murmured.
Overall this book shook me way more than I thought it could. I started off as a solid three, then it inched to four then right about here:
where it was suddenly 5 IT'S GOING TO RIP YOUR HEART OUT ⭐s. The characters felt so real. It played out like a movie in my mind. I was truly gripped by the book. The longer it sits in my subconscious the more it takes hold. The more I wish I could get everyone I know to read it cover to cover.
🏳🌈 Church boy/Party boy
🏳🌈 Australian football
🏳🌈 Strict top/bottom roles
🏳🌈 Religious themes throughout
🏳🌈 Friends to Lovers
🏳🌈 Medium angst but worth the struggle
🏳🌈 Slow burn
🏳🌈 Third quarter break up that huuuuurts
I'm not sure I can organize my thoughts about this book so be prepared for this "review" to be all over the place.
First thanks to GRR for a copy of this book to read and review. I don't know that I would have stumbled across this book or author otherwise. And I'm so thankful because I can't wait to read more of her amazing work. These two and their story, their connection, Thad's purity and acceptance of Lacy no matter what? Chefs kiss. If only everyone had a Thad.
But Lacy laughed. "Believe me, that is for the best. You don't wanna see me in that state."
"There is no state you could be in, in which I wouldn't accept you," Thad replied.
So... I don't think I've ever read a story of a "church boy" with a normal guy. I'm hesitant to call Lacy a party boy even though my trope did. He really isn't. He's a guy who likes to party but he's not so enmeshed with the scene he can't pull back from it. Once he had Thad in his life he partied when he needed to blow off steam but it wasn't his life. His life was spending time with Thad and the occasional sex party.
Sidebar: really wish the opening line listed in the advertising was something else. This quote is a bit extreme and not reflective of the vibe of the book in my opinion. It's probably one of the more extreme lines in the book and almost made me not read it... “Church boys don’t come out of the closet to marry cocaine snorting dudes who like to take it up the—” First it was a bit confusing (as well as off putting because I wasn't used to Lacy's distinctive voice yet). Before reading the book I wondered if "Church" was like a last name or something. Is this a story about the Church family boys? But no, it's a story about a religious boy who falls in love with another guy.
Lacy's not a typical bad boy either. He's a pretty open minded queer guy who prefers guys over women. He's sexual active and knows what he wants. He slowly falls in love with his best friend who he's afraid is going to find out about the sex parties he attends. This does happen and leads to revelation of Thad realizing he wants Lacy. Bad. This scene to me was explosive and amazing but led to so much angst. 😭
Thad though? Thad would have a heart attack and probably have to quit football so he could spend all his time repenting for Lacy's soul. Oh ye of little faith 🤣
The writing isn't American English (Australia) so there were some slang and words that I wasn't familiar with. And for an ARC and ebook and a kind of long book I was really shocked there weren't any typos. I only found one: "Marshall Arts" over "martial arts" when talking about Parks. The quality of the writing and story were great. Really.
He grabbed Thad's hand. "I don't think you're mentally weak for being religious, alright? I was mad. I thought we were something and you were praying that way every fucking night," he squeezed Thad's hand. Thad squeezed him back.
Thad was the sweetest guy. He's the type of guy who just needs one person. Period. He seems to imprint on Lacy. Thad does seem a bit ...slow... at times. Maybe that's a mean interpretation. Maybe he's more single minded in his focus. Maybe his emotional intelligence is lacking. Someone else in a review called him "naïve" but I don't see it like that. I think he was written as simple, pure hearted, earnest to a fault. His religious enthusiasm
Why? You wanna reform me?"
"No, never," Thad replied.
I especially appreciated how the sex parties brought out a side of Thad he otherwise wouldn't have known about. They truly fit together. Two halves of a whole. These two belong together. Thad allows Lacy to pursue his release, while also meeting needs Lacy didn't really allow himself to acknowledge he had. Needs to be safe, protected, loved by one person, allowed to have a boyfriend and his other fun on the side.
"I can handle my shit. What I can't handle is anyone fuckin' with my boyfriend," he said.
I love how protective Lacy becomes of Thad. He gives him space to grieve his family but he also doesn't take shit off anyone. I also applaud the author for not having some huge coming out. They were out where the needed to be. Not every queer person has to have some huge coming out to the world. We tell one person, then another. Just like in casual conversation a straight person might mention their boyfriend or girlfriend or that they are married or have a kid. I welcome the day when none of us have to come out because everyone allows people the safe space to just be and share what they want. No assumptions necessary.
Lacy carded his hand through his hair. "For what it's worth? I reckon this is my church."
"What is?" Thad said against his skin.
"You and me," Lacy murmured.
Overall this book shook me way more than I thought it could. I started off as a solid three, then it inched to four then right about here:
"What was the plan? Say sorry every day for the rest of our lives?"
"No," Thad replied, "just until-" he stopped abruptly. Lacy looked up at him again, what Thad was about to say dawning on him with a horrible feeling.
"Just until what?"
"Nothing, just until nothing," Thad said quickly.
where it was suddenly 5 IT'S GOING TO RIP YOUR HEART OUT ⭐s. The characters felt so real. It played out like a movie in my mind. I was truly gripped by the book. The longer it sits in my subconscious the more it takes hold. The more I wish I could get everyone I know to read it cover to cover.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 26, 2024
Wow...I was really blown out of the water by this book! I was expecting it to be fairly high on heat and low on plot but I was really pleasantly surprised. There was plenty of spice, but it wasn't the focus of this slow(ish) burn story. This was my first Sasha Avice book but it won't be the last!
This is My Church is a slow burn, hurt/comfort story about falling in love with your best friend. Thad and Lacy play together on the same footy team and hit it off right away as best friends. Before they know it they're spending all their time together- except when Thad goes to church and Lacy goes to private spicy parties. Will two complete opposites find common ground? Or will their differences tear them apart?
I read the book as a standalone and didn't feel like I was missing anything. I liked the way Thad and Lacy learned to compromise and grow together, finding their way as a team. Their character development was beautifully done. I also really appreciated the way Sasha wrote about Thad's faith in a sensitive, nuanced way. Not all religious people or religious beliefs are bad and it was really a pleasure to read a book that acknowledges that we're all just flawed human beings- and to see the author specifically did research on the subject! Thank you Sasha!
Rating: 4
Angst: 4/5
Steam: 3.5/5
I received an advance copy of this book and this is my honest review.
This is My Church is a slow burn, hurt/comfort story about falling in love with your best friend. Thad and Lacy play together on the same footy team and hit it off right away as best friends. Before they know it they're spending all their time together- except when Thad goes to church and Lacy goes to private spicy parties. Will two complete opposites find common ground? Or will their differences tear them apart?
I read the book as a standalone and didn't feel like I was missing anything. I liked the way Thad and Lacy learned to compromise and grow together, finding their way as a team. Their character development was beautifully done. I also really appreciated the way Sasha wrote about Thad's faith in a sensitive, nuanced way. Not all religious people or religious beliefs are bad and it was really a pleasure to read a book that acknowledges that we're all just flawed human beings- and to see the author specifically did research on the subject! Thank you Sasha!
Rating: 4
Angst: 4/5
Steam: 3.5/5
I received an advance copy of this book and this is my honest review.
April 23, 2024
This is one emotionally gripping read about two guys, Thaddeus and Lacy, who are players on an Australian Football team in Melbourne. Lacy is the star player and Thaddeus is hanging in there, just, might even get traded.
Apart from football connection, these two guys would never meet otherwise, Lacy is one, wild, very wild guy, especially off the playing field when he goes to his ‘parties’.
Thaddeus is a Church going, daily prayers, helping at Church Events, guy. But they do become the best of friends, with Thaddeus, such a caring, generous, kind man, taking care of Lacy when he’s been on one of his alcohol, drugs and other men, lots of men, together, benders.
After one such intervention by Thaddeus everything in their friendship changes, Lacy doesn’t know why, and Thaddeus is too ashamed to bring it up. However, he has his daily conversations with his god and it is tearing him apart.
Both Thad and Lacy characters are so well developed here that I was just so attached to them, it became painful to read of their individual struggles to remain friends, an€ I cried several times throughout. Some because of the sadness and emotional turmoil of the MC’s, and mostly in frustration due to my own feelings in regard to religious interference, whether by the indoctrination, the pressures to conform and then family interference.
I was so rooting for these two, especially Lacy, because I wished he didn’t need to frequent those parties.
The author has done a terrific job binding two such diverse characters together in their own ‘place of worship’. Yep, recommend this highly as your next read from Sasha Avice.
Apart from football connection, these two guys would never meet otherwise, Lacy is one, wild, very wild guy, especially off the playing field when he goes to his ‘parties’.
Thaddeus is a Church going, daily prayers, helping at Church Events, guy. But they do become the best of friends, with Thaddeus, such a caring, generous, kind man, taking care of Lacy when he’s been on one of his alcohol, drugs and other men, lots of men, together, benders.
After one such intervention by Thaddeus everything in their friendship changes, Lacy doesn’t know why, and Thaddeus is too ashamed to bring it up. However, he has his daily conversations with his god and it is tearing him apart.
Both Thad and Lacy characters are so well developed here that I was just so attached to them, it became painful to read of their individual struggles to remain friends, an€ I cried several times throughout. Some because of the sadness and emotional turmoil of the MC’s, and mostly in frustration due to my own feelings in regard to religious interference, whether by the indoctrination, the pressures to conform and then family interference.
I was so rooting for these two, especially Lacy, because I wished he didn’t need to frequent those parties.
The author has done a terrific job binding two such diverse characters together in their own ‘place of worship’. Yep, recommend this highly as your next read from Sasha Avice.
Read
February 23, 2025A positive: it’s extremely funny how this is… dun dun dun…. A sports romance! I never would have guessed from the synopsis or the reviews I read lol. Truly the Aussie twist you couldn’t predict. (Bc yes they’re Aussie and the sport is rugby… I’m like 40% sure.)
A negative: It’s iiiiiiinteresting how Thad gets so much more attention and empathy from the narrative than Lacy does. Because Thad is the poor sad victim of his misled beliefs. Thad is also fully down to rape his friend who is to too high to consent, but are we addressing that? Clearly not. The irony here is that horrifying choice actually felt authentic for a character who has been brainwashed into evangelical christianity his entire like but is now struggling with realizing he’s gay…. But is this author willing or able to unpack that? Clearly not. So we’re just handwaving rape instead. And yes the book tries to tell you Lacy co-signed afterward so it’s a-okay, but Thad’s intentions and choices are what’s at issue here, and it doesn’t seem like the book understands or is willing to address that at all. (And the fact that Lacy downplayed what happened when he found out in order to save the relationship is totally consistent with how someone would react if they don’t want to acknowledge the full reality of what their friend did to them. But exploring that would require Lacy to be more than a sad chill sex doll so!)
And by 43% in it’s just become boring sex scene after boring sex scene and this book is over 400 Kindle pages so I’ve decided to call it. I read the last few chapters just to make sure I wasn’t overreacting and they end with Thad coming out to his parents and being a lil sad but mostly chill that they’ve cut him off…. But then being psyched when they start hinting they’ll be open to keeping in touch, and meanwhile he wishes he could keep going to his church and is still totally “christian.” So no actual reckoning with what this character has gone through or done? And religious bigots always get the benefit of the doubt? That’s nice for them!
I’m being harsh I guess because I found this very readable, it goes down easy in that m/m romance way, and I do think there’s something there in what this story is trying to address… but the author’s choices imo ultimately really miss the mark. (Probably got distracted honing those gangbang scenes lol, I get it.)
I don’t know, maybe there’s some stuff buried in the latter half of this book that improves on any/all of the above but…..
I read this, obviously, via KU.
A negative: It’s iiiiiiinteresting how Thad gets so much more attention and empathy from the narrative than Lacy does. Because Thad is the poor sad victim of his misled beliefs. Thad is also fully down to rape his friend who is to too high to consent, but are we addressing that? Clearly not. The irony here is that horrifying choice actually felt authentic for a character who has been brainwashed into evangelical christianity his entire like but is now struggling with realizing he’s gay…. But is this author willing or able to unpack that? Clearly not. So we’re just handwaving rape instead. And yes the book tries to tell you Lacy co-signed afterward so it’s a-okay, but Thad’s intentions and choices are what’s at issue here, and it doesn’t seem like the book understands or is willing to address that at all. (And the fact that Lacy downplayed what happened when he found out in order to save the relationship is totally consistent with how someone would react if they don’t want to acknowledge the full reality of what their friend did to them. But exploring that would require Lacy to be more than a sad chill sex doll so!)
And by 43% in it’s just become boring sex scene after boring sex scene and this book is over 400 Kindle pages so I’ve decided to call it. I read the last few chapters just to make sure I wasn’t overreacting and they end with Thad coming out to his parents and being a lil sad but mostly chill that they’ve cut him off…. But then being psyched when they start hinting they’ll be open to keeping in touch, and meanwhile he wishes he could keep going to his church and is still totally “christian.” So no actual reckoning with what this character has gone through or done? And religious bigots always get the benefit of the doubt? That’s nice for them!
I’m being harsh I guess because I found this very readable, it goes down easy in that m/m romance way, and I do think there’s something there in what this story is trying to address… but the author’s choices imo ultimately really miss the mark. (Probably got distracted honing those gangbang scenes lol, I get it.)
I don’t know, maybe there’s some stuff buried in the latter half of this book that improves on any/all of the above but…..
I read this, obviously, via KU.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 14, 2024
4 stars
Different and unique, like all Sasha Avice's stories. It was also very emotional and raw.
I'm completely honest here, it was a hard reading for me because some parts, the ones that enthralled the majority of the readers, actually made me cry a lot. I couldn't understand, at first, why on earth Lacy would get himself into those sex parties, why he let those men using him that way. His character was a slow discovery for me, he has so many layers and there's so much more about him than what he let other people (including me) see.
Thad was way less shocked and judgemental than me and he found a way to support and love Lacy like he deserved.
There were a lot of emotions involved, good and bad, both Lacy and Thad have a lot on their minds and they hearts. But the writing was so fluid that I didn't feel overwhelmed by them.
What prevented me from giving five full stars
Lacy's coping mechanism, using drugs and going to sex parties was too much for me: despite having done his consent before, to me him being gang-banged while almost unconscious gave me the very horrible impression that he was actually being raped.
Moreover, Thad's hypocrisy of praying the gay away while having a lot of sex with Lacy didn't sit well with me at all.
It was so good to see Finn and Scotty again, I love those characters.
I'm already craving the next story of this series, I hope we won't have to wait too long.
Very recommended
I recently reread this book and I updated my review.
Different and unique, like all Sasha Avice's stories. It was also very emotional and raw.
I'm completely honest here, it was a hard reading for me because some parts, the ones that enthralled the majority of the readers, actually made me cry a lot. I couldn't understand, at first, why on earth Lacy would get himself into those sex parties, why he let those men using him that way. His character was a slow discovery for me, he has so many layers and there's so much more about him than what he let other people (including me) see.
Thad was way less shocked and judgemental than me and he found a way to support and love Lacy like he deserved.
There were a lot of emotions involved, good and bad, both Lacy and Thad have a lot on their minds and they hearts. But the writing was so fluid that I didn't feel overwhelmed by them.
What prevented me from giving five full stars
Lacy's coping mechanism, using drugs and going to sex parties was too much for me: despite having done his consent before, to me him being gang-banged while almost unconscious gave me the very horrible impression that he was actually being raped.
Moreover, Thad's hypocrisy of praying the gay away while having a lot of sex with Lacy didn't sit well with me at all.
It was so good to see Finn and Scotty again, I love those characters.
I'm already craving the next story of this series, I hope we won't have to wait too long.
Very recommended
I recently reread this book and I updated my review.
April 13, 2024
All Sasha Avice´s books are unique.
Thad and Lacy are teammates in a australian football team. They are friends,despite their different personalities.
Thad is a very religious person, he always goes to church on Sunday, participates in church activities and his moral compass is religion. He expected to marry a woman, have kids, because is the right thing to do, according to his beliefs.
Lacy lives his life to the fullest.
The relationship between mc´s is sweet, Thad always care for Lacy.
The religion topic in this book is hefty.
Thad and Lacy are teammates in a australian football team. They are friends,despite their different personalities.
Thad is a very religious person, he always goes to church on Sunday, participates in church activities and his moral compass is religion. He expected to marry a woman, have kids, because is the right thing to do, according to his beliefs.
Lacy lives his life to the fullest.
The relationship between mc´s is sweet, Thad always care for Lacy.
The religion topic in this book is hefty.
May 6, 2024
Rating: 4
Steam: 3
PoV: dual, 3rd person
Genre: contemporary romance, MM
Main tropes: teammates, first time, sexual discovery
So, I couldn't resist a story with this in its description: "This Is My Church carves a path through gangbangs, benders and a whole lot of praying to find out what it means to be truly loved." And ohhhh my, did it deliver!
Lacy and Thad's story was raw and emotional, and I loved seeing their relationship development as they went from teammates, to friends, to more. They were opposites attract to the extreme - Lacy being wild and pretty carefree, partying and using substances, while Thad was heavily religious, living by the expectations placed on him by his family and faith. They were two characters that shouldn't work, and there were moments when anything lasting between them felt pretty impossible, but they got their HEA in the end.
Both characters were flawed, and it was what gave their story a lot of rawness and feels - they both made mistakes and paid for them. There was a lot of character growth and development for both of them, and it made for an angsty read. I struggled with some of the things Thad did and how he handled some of the situations, but it was also easy to see how lost and confused he was feeling.
This Is My Church was an interesting read, and while I thought it would be a bit more low angst and spicier than it was, I found myself pleasantly surprised with what I got instead. Sasha Avice had me emotionally invested in the story from early on, and it was difficult not to root for Lacy and Thad despite their ups and downs. It was a story that tugged at the corners of my comfort zone, but it was definitely worth the read - the relationship and character developments were fantastic and I loved the tension, emotions and angst!
-
Thanks to Gay Romance Reviews for the opportunity to read and review this book. These are my honest thoughts and opinions.
Steam: 3
PoV: dual, 3rd person
Genre: contemporary romance, MM
Main tropes: teammates, first time, sexual discovery
So, I couldn't resist a story with this in its description: "This Is My Church carves a path through gangbangs, benders and a whole lot of praying to find out what it means to be truly loved." And ohhhh my, did it deliver!
Lacy and Thad's story was raw and emotional, and I loved seeing their relationship development as they went from teammates, to friends, to more. They were opposites attract to the extreme - Lacy being wild and pretty carefree, partying and using substances, while Thad was heavily religious, living by the expectations placed on him by his family and faith. They were two characters that shouldn't work, and there were moments when anything lasting between them felt pretty impossible, but they got their HEA in the end.
Both characters were flawed, and it was what gave their story a lot of rawness and feels - they both made mistakes and paid for them. There was a lot of character growth and development for both of them, and it made for an angsty read. I struggled with some of the things Thad did and how he handled some of the situations, but it was also easy to see how lost and confused he was feeling.
This Is My Church was an interesting read, and while I thought it would be a bit more low angst and spicier than it was, I found myself pleasantly surprised with what I got instead. Sasha Avice had me emotionally invested in the story from early on, and it was difficult not to root for Lacy and Thad despite their ups and downs. It was a story that tugged at the corners of my comfort zone, but it was definitely worth the read - the relationship and character developments were fantastic and I loved the tension, emotions and angst!
-
Thanks to Gay Romance Reviews for the opportunity to read and review this book. These are my honest thoughts and opinions.
January 18, 2025
4.75⭐
I grinned, laughed, and enjoyed every minute spent reading this book.
This is a second chance, comfort and hurt, friends-to-lovers with a touch of codependency book.
Please take note of your triggers, as it contains the use of drugs, unconventional consent, and group sexual activities.
I grinned, laughed, and enjoyed every minute spent reading this book.
This is a second chance, comfort and hurt, friends-to-lovers with a touch of codependency book.
Please take note of your triggers, as it contains the use of drugs, unconventional consent, and group sexual activities.
December 30, 2024
The blurb was delicious. Out and proud jock x religious zealot in the closet? I mean... should be so angsty and hot and deep.
Well this isn't.
It's probably the most ridiculous book I've read in my life, and I don't say that lightly.
Avoid at all costs 🙄🙄🙄
Well this isn't.
It's probably the most ridiculous book I've read in my life, and I don't say that lightly.
Avoid at all costs 🙄🙄🙄
December 23, 2024
I enjoy this author’s intense, immersive style. I wasn’t sure what to expect with this one with one very religious mc and the other, well, check trigger warnings on this one because he parties hard and is into a lot of things in the bedroom that cross some lines. Nevertheless, decided to give it a try and it really worked for me. The author succeeded in drawing two believable and three dimensional characters who muddle through and find themselves in a relationship.
April 22, 2024
This book was interesting. We’ve met Lacy in previous books but I didn’t realize his extracurriculars were so….extreme. Then we have Thad who is super religious. There’s a pretty heavy religious aspect to this book, so just know that going in.
The story as a whole wasn’t bad at all. I did enjoy their friendship build up during practice, and hanging out and then the inevitable relationship. Both characters had a lot of issues, Lacy with his drug usage and sex parties and Thad with his religious hang ups to the point where he wasn’t really living life in my opinion.
One thing I didn’t realize was that even once Lacy and Thad were together, Lacy still wanted to participate in these “parties” even though Thad would be there…..watching. I didn’t quite understand his NEED for these parties, it was a lot. I don’t want to yuck anyone’s yum, I can handle reading about sex parties and multiple partners at once, however I expected that to stop once the main MCs were together but Thad just went along and let other men use Lacy and that was that, he felt like Lacy was safer as long as he was there and could tell them to stop.
There is a breakup in the book so there’s a bit of time jumping. That was kinda difficult for me because Lacy claimed to love Thad but still slept with others soon after their breakup. They do, however, eventually get their HEA.
*arc review*
The story as a whole wasn’t bad at all. I did enjoy their friendship build up during practice, and hanging out and then the inevitable relationship. Both characters had a lot of issues, Lacy with his drug usage and sex parties and Thad with his religious hang ups to the point where he wasn’t really living life in my opinion.
One thing I didn’t realize was that even once Lacy and Thad were together, Lacy still wanted to participate in these “parties” even though Thad would be there…..watching. I didn’t quite understand his NEED for these parties, it was a lot. I don’t want to yuck anyone’s yum, I can handle reading about sex parties and multiple partners at once, however I expected that to stop once the main MCs were together but Thad just went along and let other men use Lacy and that was that, he felt like Lacy was safer as long as he was there and could tell them to stop.
There is a breakup in the book so there’s a bit of time jumping. That was kinda difficult for me because Lacy claimed to love Thad but still slept with others soon after their breakup. They do, however, eventually get their HEA.
*arc review*
April 25, 2024
Like it, some of the tension towards the end was a little excruciating but generally enjoyed. Loving this authors writing.
January 12, 2025
4⭐️
This was a solid 4-star read! This slow-burn, hurt/comfort romance follows Thaddeus and Lacy, two Australian Football players in Melbourne. Lacy’s the star, while Thad is barely hanging on, but they quickly become inseparable—except when Thad’s at church and Lacy’s at his private spicy parties.
I loved how they accepted each other despite their differences—Lacy didn’t judge Thad’s religious devotion, and Thad supported Lacy’s wilder habits, even if it felt unexpected at first. Their dynamic was raw, caring, and deeply genuine.
There’s the usual third-act breakup, tied to Thad’s struggles with faith and identity. It was emotional but resolved beautifully when Thad finds peace with loving Lacy.
This isn’t a light read—it tackles heavy topics like unhealthy coping and reconciling faith and identity. But that depth made it gripping and powerful. Highly recommend for fans of emotional, character-driven stories!
This was a solid 4-star read! This slow-burn, hurt/comfort romance follows Thaddeus and Lacy, two Australian Football players in Melbourne. Lacy’s the star, while Thad is barely hanging on, but they quickly become inseparable—except when Thad’s at church and Lacy’s at his private spicy parties.
I loved how they accepted each other despite their differences—Lacy didn’t judge Thad’s religious devotion, and Thad supported Lacy’s wilder habits, even if it felt unexpected at first. Their dynamic was raw, caring, and deeply genuine.
There’s the usual third-act breakup, tied to Thad’s struggles with faith and identity. It was emotional but resolved beautifully when Thad finds peace with loving Lacy.
This isn’t a light read—it tackles heavy topics like unhealthy coping and reconciling faith and identity. But that depth made it gripping and powerful. Highly recommend for fans of emotional, character-driven stories!
April 16, 2024
I completely loved this story. I love the steady, inevitable way Sasha Avice builds relationships in her stories, how real her characters feel, how she shares perspectives you wouldn’t normally see so there is a whole lot of the unexpected and a whole lot to ponder as I read the story.
I specifically enjoyed how in this series the sport is character in and of itself and how insanely white hot the chemistry is between Thad and Lacy is, as they face down everything that challenges their HEA.
The book is phenomenally emotional and rich and I was so impacted as I read it. The winding up to them working through things and that ending was absolutely heart wrenching and quite beautiful.
Would 100% re-read this book and this couple is a serious contender as my favourite of the series .. or is it George and Finn… I don’t think I can pick.
Expect:
* Friends to Lovers
* Slow burn
* Football romance
* Team mates
* Kink exploration
* Sexual awakening
* Pining
* Virgin MC
* Gangbangs
* Religious themes
* Drug usage
I specifically enjoyed how in this series the sport is character in and of itself and how insanely white hot the chemistry is between Thad and Lacy is, as they face down everything that challenges their HEA.
The book is phenomenally emotional and rich and I was so impacted as I read it. The winding up to them working through things and that ending was absolutely heart wrenching and quite beautiful.
Would 100% re-read this book and this couple is a serious contender as my favourite of the series .. or is it George and Finn… I don’t think I can pick.
Expect:
* Friends to Lovers
* Slow burn
* Football romance
* Team mates
* Kink exploration
* Sexual awakening
* Pining
* Virgin MC
* Gangbangs
* Religious themes
* Drug usage
October 19, 2025
This felt a little like kismet because someone posted a recommendation for This Is My Church that got it added to my TBR literally days before I met the author themselves. In person. With the book sitting right there in all its signed glory, Lacy's imploring eyes boring into mine.
Kinda had to.
But I would 100% buy it all over again.
Because come on...a gorgeous book cover. Excellent writing. Local flavour (it's based in Aus). A blurb that sucks you right in, with a perfectly imperfect pairing between a highly-religious do-gooder and a carefree player who doesn't care what goes into his body, be it alcohol, drugs, or dick (preferably all three at once, Lacy informs me smugly).
I honestly did not see how the pair of them would or could fit together, but it was done so well! Lacy and his quiet supportiveness for the religion he doesn't understand. Thad's lack of judgment or attempts to enforce his own beliefs onto Lacy. They love each other as they are, and that's so beautiful that it made me cry, just a little.
Congratulations, Avice, for making me expect non-stop filth and not even be disappointed when I found the book to be full of heartfelt declarations, unquestioning support, and quiet solitude with each other instead. I'll just be over here, sobbing quietly.
Kinda had to.
But I would 100% buy it all over again.
Because come on...a gorgeous book cover. Excellent writing. Local flavour (it's based in Aus). A blurb that sucks you right in, with a perfectly imperfect pairing between a highly-religious do-gooder and a carefree player who doesn't care what goes into his body, be it alcohol, drugs, or dick (preferably all three at once, Lacy informs me smugly).
I honestly did not see how the pair of them would or could fit together, but it was done so well! Lacy and his quiet supportiveness for the religion he doesn't understand. Thad's lack of judgment or attempts to enforce his own beliefs onto Lacy. They love each other as they are, and that's so beautiful that it made me cry, just a little.
Congratulations, Avice, for making me expect non-stop filth and not even be disappointed when I found the book to be full of heartfelt declarations, unquestioning support, and quiet solitude with each other instead. I'll just be over here, sobbing quietly.
May 3, 2024
I have a lot of thoughts on this book. While the story was emotional and kept me invested it just didn't hit the mark for me completely.
The whole religion thing was really present and it was an ick for me. This is a me thing completely. Thad come on my dude, you were suppose to be this holy dude but the things you did that put yourself at risk AND not even tell lacy about it... come on 🥴🙄
lacy was all over the place. how is he an athlete and he went so hardcore at times. how in the world did his body recover so fast?!?!?!?!?
The whole religion thing was really present and it was an ick for me. This is a me thing completely. Thad come on my dude, you were suppose to be this holy dude but the things you did that put yourself at risk AND not even tell lacy about it... come on 🥴🙄
lacy was all over the place. how is he an athlete and he went so hardcore at times. how in the world did his body recover so fast?!?!?!?!?
April 18, 2024
ARC review - I have been wanting to read Lacy’s story for as long as I’ve been hating on George! And Sasha didn’t let me down!! I was apprehensive knowing it was going to have religious context, but it was done so well!! There was one scene that felt a little too like a specific icky Criminal Minds episode, but I laughed through it!
Thad had his faith and his beliefs, but his mindset was just be a decent human. Lacy has his demons and his kinks, and somehow, these two men just work. Sasha’s brilliance at fitting the pieces together will always have me coming back for more. Just over halfway through, we get set up for the inevitable heartbreak. We know it’s coming, but it still hurts. We have Thad trying to reconcile what he overheard Lacy say, and being mad about it, when he himself hurt Lacy the same way, but so much worse in my opinion. Because he can’t even comprehend it.
Sasha managed to pull off the almost impossible, when she had me agreeing with Finn for a few minutes!! The horror!! Ha!! I love the book, and just like Lacy, maybe we all could use a hug sometimes!
Thad had his faith and his beliefs, but his mindset was just be a decent human. Lacy has his demons and his kinks, and somehow, these two men just work. Sasha’s brilliance at fitting the pieces together will always have me coming back for more. Just over halfway through, we get set up for the inevitable heartbreak. We know it’s coming, but it still hurts. We have Thad trying to reconcile what he overheard Lacy say, and being mad about it, when he himself hurt Lacy the same way, but so much worse in my opinion. Because he can’t even comprehend it.
Sasha managed to pull off the almost impossible, when she had me agreeing with Finn for a few minutes!! The horror!! Ha!! I love the book, and just like Lacy, maybe we all could use a hug sometimes!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 1, 2024
3.5 stars
May 8, 2024
3 Stars ⭐️
As much as it pains me to say this, my rating was very generous for this book. The story just wasn't for me...I tried but I just couldn't, too many borderline rapey GB'S and skeeve not enough substance. I don't know what else to say, I like this author but I didn't like this story.
* I received an ARC from GRR, this is my open and honest review *
As much as it pains me to say this, my rating was very generous for this book. The story just wasn't for me...I tried but I just couldn't, too many borderline rapey GB'S and skeeve not enough substance. I don't know what else to say, I like this author but I didn't like this story.
* I received an ARC from GRR, this is my open and honest review *
May 8, 2024
Lacy and Thad's relationship is as unique as it comes. Their genuine love, trust and understanding is beautiful.
Sasha Avice has written yet another amazing story. Lacy and Thad take us on a rollercoaster of a journey to get to their HEA, but we get there, eventually.
This story made me cry so hard on more than one occasion, their HEA was well earned.
Please read the trigger warnings.
Sasha Avice has written yet another amazing story. Lacy and Thad take us on a rollercoaster of a journey to get to their HEA, but we get there, eventually.
This story made me cry so hard on more than one occasion, their HEA was well earned.
Please read the trigger warnings.
April 13, 2024
I don't know if I can put into words how amazing this book was. In the beginning I was thinking I don't know if I can read this book. It's very heavy Australian. All I can equate it to is reading a mafia read from a heavy Brooklyn dialect point of view.
Lacy is one amazing character. From the ass pounding orgies higher than a kite to the amazing human he was under that cloak of indifference. He loved his footy ball. In fact I am so American I thought this sport was soccer until something was mentioned about soccer being too slow for Lacy.
Thad gave me the Gilbert Grape vibes. Big and unassuming man who had a very strict upbringing in the church. I saw from the start how much his conflicted feelings were for the church and the fact that he loved lacy. The absolute love these guys had for one another is off the charts. I always say in my review I read romance for the romance. This book had it. And boy did it have the spice.
This book gave me a different perspective of acceptance of the person you love when your culture taught you not to. It did give the reader a full story of how one breaks away from what you knew to taking a chance on what your society thinks is wrong. I was pleased with the overall outcome of at least one family members accepting the person for who he is
It's an amazingly written story with the best love story. Because you could feel from the start the chemistry and love.
I know my book hangover is real after this read.
Lacy is one amazing character. From the ass pounding orgies higher than a kite to the amazing human he was under that cloak of indifference. He loved his footy ball. In fact I am so American I thought this sport was soccer until something was mentioned about soccer being too slow for Lacy.
Thad gave me the Gilbert Grape vibes. Big and unassuming man who had a very strict upbringing in the church. I saw from the start how much his conflicted feelings were for the church and the fact that he loved lacy. The absolute love these guys had for one another is off the charts. I always say in my review I read romance for the romance. This book had it. And boy did it have the spice.
This book gave me a different perspective of acceptance of the person you love when your culture taught you not to. It did give the reader a full story of how one breaks away from what you knew to taking a chance on what your society thinks is wrong. I was pleased with the overall outcome of at least one family members accepting the person for who he is
It's an amazingly written story with the best love story. Because you could feel from the start the chemistry and love.
I know my book hangover is real after this read.
May 5, 2024
I really enjoyed this book. I liked how neither Lacy nor Thad wanted to change the other person, Lacy supported Thad’s religious life, while Thad did not ask Lacy to change his partying ways and just took care of him.
I 100% fell in love with this book. Things that other people found dubious in the book, I could overlook because I bought everything they were selling, Lacy doing drugs, whateves, it doesn’t affect his talent on the field, Thad is into religion, OK, good for him to have a belief. I’m here for it. I bought the ticket and I’m here for the ride, just deliver that happily ever after.
I love their love, which was just pure. Thad was such a cinnamon roll and Lacy, well he may be outspoken, but he was always thoughtful and kind. They supported one another. They may be opposites in that wild child/religious upbringing kind of way, but underneath, both were kind and drew people in.
This was also the first book in awhile that I had to stop reading and jump to the end to ensure I was gonna get a happy ending. I would riot if the author did not give it to me. And i don’t care if everything wrapped up nicely and it was not believable or not, I am in love with Thad and Lacy, anything they do, I’m ok with!
I 100% fell in love with this book. Things that other people found dubious in the book, I could overlook because I bought everything they were selling, Lacy doing drugs, whateves, it doesn’t affect his talent on the field, Thad is into religion, OK, good for him to have a belief. I’m here for it. I bought the ticket and I’m here for the ride, just deliver that happily ever after.
I love their love, which was just pure. Thad was such a cinnamon roll and Lacy, well he may be outspoken, but he was always thoughtful and kind. They supported one another. They may be opposites in that wild child/religious upbringing kind of way, but underneath, both were kind and drew people in.
This was also the first book in awhile that I had to stop reading and jump to the end to ensure I was gonna get a happy ending. I would riot if the author did not give it to me. And i don’t care if everything wrapped up nicely and it was not believable or not, I am in love with Thad and Lacy, anything they do, I’m ok with!
May 12, 2024
(DNF@56% on May 12th, 2024) I really wanted to love Thad and Lacy's unlikely opposites-attract story. It felt like I'd been waiting for it forever, ever since I originally discovered this author's plans to expand these series with other secondary characters getting their own stories.
I wasn't a particular fan of how Lacy's addict behavior was initially described in His Boyfriend's Rookie, but I was naive enough to think his story might be a sort of redemption arc for him. Apparently, I was completely wrong because not only did Lacy not clean up his act and stop using drugs and alcohol, but the author also tried to justify his addiction and self-destructive tendencies as a completely legitimate coping mechanism. Excuse me for not being open-minded enough to think addiction should be justified in certain cases, such as that of a successful athlete with too much pressure on his shoulders. I'm not so naive as to think this isn't a reality in lots of sports, but what I took issue with is how the author tried to portray Lacy's addiction as a completely reasonable choice in his circumstances and portrayed everyone else who might not agree with the fact that one of their star players had a huge problem with drug abuse as the unreasonable characters here.
Another thing I couldn't reconcile were Lacy's sexual practices of getting intoxicated with drugs and alcohol to the point of blacking out and and getting gang b*nged by a train of men during the evening during "exclusive secret sex parties." I tried to push through my own feelings of discomfort with the descriptions, but I had a really hard time with it. So, I decided to take a break from the story and pick it up again in a few days after taking some time away from it.
This morning, despite not really feeling particularly inclined, I decided to maybe try getting back to this instead of leaving this book hanging in the in-between space of my Currently Reading list. I opened the book and went to check if some more low-starred reviews came in and came across this 3-star review mentioning "too many borderline rapey GB's," the wording of which finally broke me out of my self-guilt spiral of not being open-minded enough to get through this story.
I would like to believe that I would be okay reading about a character enjoying getting gang b*nged while conscious, but the fact that Lacy was out of his mind while getting gang b*nged and the actions of the men who were so clearly using him as an object made all these scenes quite unpalatable and difficult to read. I don't care that the men at these parties filled out questionnaires, and there were rules that everybody was supposedly following, which we know is not always the case as his first time at the party, Thad Would we still be forced to believe as readers that these parties were completely okay because the participants were rich men and Lacy consented to his body being used while unconscious? Like, I'm sorry that I am bothered by obvious degrading acts Lacey is subjected to because he wrote he was okay with it on a piece of paper...
Instead of continuing with this book, I have decided to tell myself that "It is okay to let things go. I don't have to force myself, trying and failing to enjoy a book which is making me beyond uncomfortable to read, just because I enjoyed a couple of other books by this author."
I will be back to check out the next book in the series, but hopefully, I will be smart enough to stop reading if it proves to be another dysfunctional story I find myself not comfortable reading.
I started reading this book on April 24th, 2024, decided to take a break from it on April 27th, 2024, and today, on May 12th, 2024, I am deciding to DNF this book because sometimes DNFing a book can be a form of self-care, and I finaly decided to choose self-care in this case.
(I am always oscillating between giving a rating to a DNF or not, but sometimes I find that DNF reviews without a rating are not that easy to filter among other reviews, so I'm giving this one a rating this time.)
Themes: dual POV, opposites attract, friends to lovers, professional athletes, star player/rookie, substance abusive behavior, religious character, virginity, NFL
I wasn't a particular fan of how Lacy's addict behavior was initially described in His Boyfriend's Rookie, but I was naive enough to think his story might be a sort of redemption arc for him. Apparently, I was completely wrong because not only did Lacy not clean up his act and stop using drugs and alcohol, but the author also tried to justify his addiction and self-destructive tendencies as a completely legitimate coping mechanism. Excuse me for not being open-minded enough to think addiction should be justified in certain cases, such as that of a successful athlete with too much pressure on his shoulders. I'm not so naive as to think this isn't a reality in lots of sports, but what I took issue with is how the author tried to portray Lacy's addiction as a completely reasonable choice in his circumstances and portrayed everyone else who might not agree with the fact that one of their star players had a huge problem with drug abuse as the unreasonable characters here.
Another thing I couldn't reconcile were Lacy's sexual practices of getting intoxicated with drugs and alcohol to the point of blacking out and and getting gang b*nged by a train of men during the evening during "exclusive secret sex parties." I tried to push through my own feelings of discomfort with the descriptions, but I had a really hard time with it. So, I decided to take a break from the story and pick it up again in a few days after taking some time away from it.
This morning, despite not really feeling particularly inclined, I decided to maybe try getting back to this instead of leaving this book hanging in the in-between space of my Currently Reading list. I opened the book and went to check if some more low-starred reviews came in and came across this 3-star review mentioning "too many borderline rapey GB's," the wording of which finally broke me out of my self-guilt spiral of not being open-minded enough to get through this story.
I would like to believe that I would be okay reading about a character enjoying getting gang b*nged while conscious, but the fact that Lacy was out of his mind while getting gang b*nged and the actions of the men who were so clearly using him as an object made all these scenes quite unpalatable and difficult to read. I don't care that the men at these parties filled out questionnaires, and there were rules that everybody was supposedly following, which we know is not always the case as his first time at the party, Thad Would we still be forced to believe as readers that these parties were completely okay because the participants were rich men and Lacy consented to his body being used while unconscious? Like, I'm sorry that I am bothered by obvious degrading acts Lacey is subjected to because he wrote he was okay with it on a piece of paper...
Instead of continuing with this book, I have decided to tell myself that "It is okay to let things go. I don't have to force myself, trying and failing to enjoy a book which is making me beyond uncomfortable to read, just because I enjoyed a couple of other books by this author."
I will be back to check out the next book in the series, but hopefully, I will be smart enough to stop reading if it proves to be another dysfunctional story I find myself not comfortable reading.
I started reading this book on April 24th, 2024, decided to take a break from it on April 27th, 2024, and today, on May 12th, 2024, I am deciding to DNF this book because sometimes DNFing a book can be a form of self-care, and I finaly decided to choose self-care in this case.
(I am always oscillating between giving a rating to a DNF or not, but sometimes I find that DNF reviews without a rating are not that easy to filter among other reviews, so I'm giving this one a rating this time.)
Themes: dual POV, opposites attract, friends to lovers, professional athletes, star player/rookie, substance abusive behavior, religious character, virginity, NFL
September 30, 2025
Would've skipped a review for this but I need to talk about why I'm only rating this 3 stars. I don't follow authors so I can't speak to this one's personal politics. But there's a brief scene in the book where Lacy, to rile up a random woman, spouts anti-trans rhetoric.
A few paragraphs later Lacy's sober the next day and tells Thad that it was "drunk talk" and he doesn't care about gender or gender identity and he'll respect whatever someone wants to be called, but....I don't know. I'm giving the benefit of the doubt here but considering the sort of dangerous times trans people especially are living in, even playing it as a character just "riling someone up" doesn't sit well with me.
EDIT:
Actually now that I'm thinking about it, I'm less inclined as well to excuse the casual acceptance of Lacy getting so high as to not remember the night before and include that as part of his and Thad's gangbang and cuckolding kink. Yes, consent is given beforehand and Thad, once he's part of the picture, is there to take care of Lacy, but overall I really can't give a pass to making drug use so openly accepted and blase with everyone who isn't Lacy's coach, especially when cruising while so high you can only form one word sentences at best. Especially when this doesn't read as a darkrom.
"I mean, imagine if a trans player wanted to play?" she said, her friend nodding enthusiastically. "The league won't even comment on where they stand on it."
Lacy drained his drink, held it up for the bartender before spinning to face her. "Whaddya think the fucking WAFL (Women's Australian Football League) is for?"
He proceeded to go on a tirade about the Women's League, which was for women, and if some woman who wanted to be a dude wanted to try out for the men's league, "she was welcome to fuckin' try but there's no way she's gettin' a game."
It spiralled out of control when the girl told Lacy he couldn't call 'him' a 'she' and Lacy looked bewildered for a moment before he went on another tirade about who has a dick? Who has a pussy.
A few paragraphs later Lacy's sober the next day and tells Thad that it was "drunk talk" and he doesn't care about gender or gender identity and he'll respect whatever someone wants to be called, but....I don't know. I'm giving the benefit of the doubt here but considering the sort of dangerous times trans people especially are living in, even playing it as a character just "riling someone up" doesn't sit well with me.
EDIT:
Actually now that I'm thinking about it, I'm less inclined as well to excuse the casual acceptance of Lacy getting so high as to not remember the night before and include that as part of his and Thad's gangbang and cuckolding kink. Yes, consent is given beforehand and Thad, once he's part of the picture, is there to take care of Lacy, but overall I really can't give a pass to making drug use so openly accepted and blase with everyone who isn't Lacy's coach, especially when cruising while so high you can only form one word sentences at best. Especially when this doesn't read as a darkrom.
April 16, 2025
4,25 stars
I really love this author’s writing, even if I’m sometimes not 100% comfortable where she takes her plot. But one thing’s for sure … her characters are fabulously drawn, written in depth, all with flaws and very human. And you always get so many fabulous feels, difficult dilemmas and great tension, too.
Here she takes two extremes, deeply religious and more or less innocent Thad and larger than life Lacy who doesn’t only play hard on the football pitch, but also in his private life.
I loved both of them, Thad for completely accepting who Lacy is and what he does (drugs, sex, sex and sex), never judging, even if it goes way beyond his comprehension (well, not that this lasts long), and Lacy for being such an affable, genuinely warm and caring guy. And yes, he also accepts that Thad is ‘different’ because of his belief.
And both guys are willing to go quite far to protect each other, with Thad probably going a lot further than Lacy.
I loved the gradual romantic build up between them, how they become friends, then friends with benefits with Lacy way more aware that he is falling for Thad, while Thad – maybe quite unbelievably – has absolutely NO clue, even until much later when his inability to acknowledge his sexuality and their relationship causes a lot of hurt.
If you think you have read something like this before and you know how this is going to go … think again.
I was totally thrown by what happens in the first third of the book. Hmm, tbh, I was rather shocked. Not by what happens during one of Lacy’s parties as such, but how Thad gets swept along.
I still find it a little incongruous with his character what he does and how much he enjoys it, considering he is a virgin, ‘straight’ and doesn’t even know what ‘top’ and ‘bottom’ means.
But, all in all, this was highly enjoyable and so well written.
Love this series!
I really love this author’s writing, even if I’m sometimes not 100% comfortable where she takes her plot. But one thing’s for sure … her characters are fabulously drawn, written in depth, all with flaws and very human. And you always get so many fabulous feels, difficult dilemmas and great tension, too.
Here she takes two extremes, deeply religious and more or less innocent Thad and larger than life Lacy who doesn’t only play hard on the football pitch, but also in his private life.
I loved both of them, Thad for completely accepting who Lacy is and what he does (drugs, sex, sex and sex), never judging, even if it goes way beyond his comprehension (well, not that this lasts long), and Lacy for being such an affable, genuinely warm and caring guy. And yes, he also accepts that Thad is ‘different’ because of his belief.
And both guys are willing to go quite far to protect each other, with Thad probably going a lot further than Lacy.
I loved the gradual romantic build up between them, how they become friends, then friends with benefits with Lacy way more aware that he is falling for Thad, while Thad – maybe quite unbelievably – has absolutely NO clue, even until much later when his inability to acknowledge his sexuality and their relationship causes a lot of hurt.
If you think you have read something like this before and you know how this is going to go … think again.
I was totally thrown by what happens in the first third of the book. Hmm, tbh, I was rather shocked. Not by what happens during one of Lacy’s parties as such, but how Thad gets swept along.
I still find it a little incongruous with his character what he does and how much he enjoys it, considering he is a virgin, ‘straight’ and doesn’t even know what ‘top’ and ‘bottom’ means.
But, all in all, this was highly enjoyable and so well written.
Love this series!
April 21, 2024
I love this author’s work. Her books have a way of challenging me, they make me dig deep and really ruminate on things I would not normally consider, like infidelity or if the ends really do justify the means. I love that her work is both utterly entertaining and genuinely thought provoking. Lacy and Thad’s story has a strong focus on religion, making their story extra complicated in the best ways. I knew going in, the religious aspect of the story would be a challenge for me personally. Thad is very devoted to his faith, it informs all aspects of his life. He is the kind of character, that while seemingly lovely, I don’t trust. Lacy’s need for his extracurricular activities and parties is hard to understand and even harder to read. Lacy and Thad are teammates, and despite their profound differences, managed to build a pretty wonderful friendship. Their friendship, I think is so critical to their story because these two really pay attention to each other, they really come to know each other. They are definitely an unlikely pair, but just like Finn and George, Lacy and Thad feel inevitable to me. Maybe Thad’s devotion makes him uniquely suited for being with Lacy, for accepting all parts of Lacy. Maybe bold and shocking Lacy was the only one capable of showing Thad a way forward, a way to be himself. Sasha does not shy away from making you hurt for these characters, Lacy and Thad’s story is in turns brutal and beautiful. I became very attached to these two, and through the highs and lows, I was rooting hard for Lacy and Thad to get the big, messy, happy ending they deserved. Loved it a lot, this series is super special!
I voluntarily reviewed a complimentary copy of this book.
I voluntarily reviewed a complimentary copy of this book.
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