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Officially Losing It
A frank, relatable and outrageously funny YA novel full of heart, friendship and the utter chaos of first relationships, perfect for fans of Sex Education, Holly Bourne and Ciara Smyth.
This book contains frank content of a sexual nature. When Rose decides to lose her virginity to her gorgeous, sweet boyfriend, Joel, the scene is set for a major milestone. Except, when it comes to it, they can't seem to make it ... happen. Rose's 'epic sex fail' freaks her out. Isn't everyone else having an easy, fun, painless time?!
The problem is, she's already told her best friends she's done it. And, worse still, while Rose unpicks her health issue, her relationship with Joel starts to crack under the pressure.
But it turns out sex is not always straightforward for others either, and Rose soon becomes the accidental confidante of cringe. Maybe bodies and relationships are as weird and unique as we are? And maybe what she really needs to lose is shame?
Mean Girls level quotability and a loveable cast of down-to-earth characters reminiscent of Derry Girls and The Inbetweeners. A wildly entertaining, refreshing book with an outrageous sense of humour, a highly relatable story and an empowering take on friendships, teen relationships and personal growth. With her counselling background, debut author Rebecca Anderson embraces vulnerability and opens honest, shame-busting conversations about our bodies, healthy relationships, and awkward or challenging first (and future!) times.
This book contains frank content of a sexual nature. When Rose decides to lose her virginity to her gorgeous, sweet boyfriend, Joel, the scene is set for a major milestone. Except, when it comes to it, they can't seem to make it ... happen. Rose's 'epic sex fail' freaks her out. Isn't everyone else having an easy, fun, painless time?!
The problem is, she's already told her best friends she's done it. And, worse still, while Rose unpicks her health issue, her relationship with Joel starts to crack under the pressure.
But it turns out sex is not always straightforward for others either, and Rose soon becomes the accidental confidante of cringe. Maybe bodies and relationships are as weird and unique as we are? And maybe what she really needs to lose is shame?
Mean Girls level quotability and a loveable cast of down-to-earth characters reminiscent of Derry Girls and The Inbetweeners. A wildly entertaining, refreshing book with an outrageous sense of humour, a highly relatable story and an empowering take on friendships, teen relationships and personal growth. With her counselling background, debut author Rebecca Anderson embraces vulnerability and opens honest, shame-busting conversations about our bodies, healthy relationships, and awkward or challenging first (and future!) times.
- GenresYoung Adult
Kindle Edition
Published July 4, 2024
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Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews
July 1, 2024
Rose isn’t sure what she wants to be when she grows up, what she wants to study at Uni—if she wants to go to Uni, at all—but what she is sure of is how much she adores her boyfriend, Joel, and how much she wants her first time to be with him. But their perfectly planned first that has been the talk of her friendship group for ages doesn’t go to plan. Sure, Rose was nervous and thinking about a million things that made her get in her head too much, but for the first time she finds a part of Joel that she isn’t sure of. Even after trying another time and a thousand Google searches, it still ends up with Rose booking an appointment at her doctors. Embarrassed to tell her friends that her and Joel couldn’t do it, Rose throws what she believes to be a harmless lie about it going without a hitch, slowly beginning to shut out her friends as her mind spirals, especially after a scary examination.
It’s not that it was because it was her first time after all, but something a little more worrying: she isn’t able to have sex. Not unless she has physical therapy or maybe even surgery. Lost, Rose joins an online group under a guise, the only place she can be frank about her issues. Rose’s formerly sweet and adoring boyfriend becomes another problem Rose can’t figure out. As she continues to push away her friends and lie her way out of situations, Joel doesn’t understand how difficult it is for her, appointments and decisions out of her control. Uni is looming and she’s torn between being a model girlfriend or following a newfound dream. Swaying in the realm of losing friends as a result of her indecision, Rose reaches breaking point. But if she is such a mess herself, how come everyone comes to her for advice that actually . . . works? And if sex has been this tough for her, what would happen if she opened up and let everyone see she needs help, too?
Overall, Officially Losing It was one of the funniest, bravest, and most heartfelt YA books I’ve ever read. A modern mix of Agony Aunt advice, Angus, Thongs and Full-Frontal Snogging humour swirled with the openness of Sex Education, Rebecca weaves this downright side-splitting, wholehearted story that touches on so many topics that teens will see reflections of themselves in. I’m obviously not the target audience in my twenties, but this in a way was deeply nostalgic for when I was Rose and her friend’s age and having similar conversations with my friends. It accomplishes the fireworks of first love whilst reminding us of toxicity and feeling pressured to the point of regret. The pulse of friendship in the story is also so steady and strong, and I absolutely adored the sisterhood that Rose has—and extends—throughout, especially warmed by her leaning on her Mum. This was just an all-round wholesome, gloriously witty book that I want to throw into the hands of all readers. Five stars doesn’t seem like enough!
It’s not that it was because it was her first time after all, but something a little more worrying: she isn’t able to have sex. Not unless she has physical therapy or maybe even surgery. Lost, Rose joins an online group under a guise, the only place she can be frank about her issues. Rose’s formerly sweet and adoring boyfriend becomes another problem Rose can’t figure out. As she continues to push away her friends and lie her way out of situations, Joel doesn’t understand how difficult it is for her, appointments and decisions out of her control. Uni is looming and she’s torn between being a model girlfriend or following a newfound dream. Swaying in the realm of losing friends as a result of her indecision, Rose reaches breaking point. But if she is such a mess herself, how come everyone comes to her for advice that actually . . . works? And if sex has been this tough for her, what would happen if she opened up and let everyone see she needs help, too?
Overall, Officially Losing It was one of the funniest, bravest, and most heartfelt YA books I’ve ever read. A modern mix of Agony Aunt advice, Angus, Thongs and Full-Frontal Snogging humour swirled with the openness of Sex Education, Rebecca weaves this downright side-splitting, wholehearted story that touches on so many topics that teens will see reflections of themselves in. I’m obviously not the target audience in my twenties, but this in a way was deeply nostalgic for when I was Rose and her friend’s age and having similar conversations with my friends. It accomplishes the fireworks of first love whilst reminding us of toxicity and feeling pressured to the point of regret. The pulse of friendship in the story is also so steady and strong, and I absolutely adored the sisterhood that Rose has—and extends—throughout, especially warmed by her leaning on her Mum. This was just an all-round wholesome, gloriously witty book that I want to throw into the hands of all readers. Five stars doesn’t seem like enough!
August 22, 2024
YA book capturing a young woman’s experience with her body set around that weird period of life around your A-levels where you’re trying to work out who you are and what you’re doing with your life! Thought it did a really good job of being funny and light while dealing with some heavy themes like consent and a medical diagnosis in a sensitive and thoughtful way.
August 28, 2024
A huge thank you to @scholastic_uk and the lovely @becca_a_writes for a copy of this book. It's one I won't forget!
#officiallylosingit showcases perfectly how messy teenage life is; that as well as being giant walking hormones, young adults are also facing major life decisions and navigating the complexities of relationships and friendships.
This story comes with a content warning as it explores, not only teenage sexuality but the struggles that can develop once a person decides to take that step. Teenage me related to so many aspects of this story and I can see how it will encourage teenagers in similar positions to seek counsel for things that they can't quite comprehend. First love is like nothing you ever experience again due to all your body is going through and even the smallest of emotions being heightened. This was displayed so well and I thought the teenage speak flowed naturally which gave the story a real authenticity.
Although graphic, I can also say the writing covered the subject matter of troubles surrounding sex in a very sensitive manner and there was a good balance of serious moments as well as humour. I laughed a lot!
Whilst reading, it resonated with me just how lucky I am that I've always been close to my mum and her there to share my feelings, no matter how hard they might be at times. Rose's relationship with her mum was my favourite element in this story and it will be a wonderful encouragement to readers to not keep things bottled up. There is power in having a confidante.
To sum up, this is a brave story, with a hook that will be relatable at any age and for older audiences it will be a walk down memory lane. Highly readable, with a pace that will keep you flicking through those pages and also might make you see cherries in a new light. 🍒😉
Highly recommend!
#officiallylosingit showcases perfectly how messy teenage life is; that as well as being giant walking hormones, young adults are also facing major life decisions and navigating the complexities of relationships and friendships.
This story comes with a content warning as it explores, not only teenage sexuality but the struggles that can develop once a person decides to take that step. Teenage me related to so many aspects of this story and I can see how it will encourage teenagers in similar positions to seek counsel for things that they can't quite comprehend. First love is like nothing you ever experience again due to all your body is going through and even the smallest of emotions being heightened. This was displayed so well and I thought the teenage speak flowed naturally which gave the story a real authenticity.
Although graphic, I can also say the writing covered the subject matter of troubles surrounding sex in a very sensitive manner and there was a good balance of serious moments as well as humour. I laughed a lot!
Whilst reading, it resonated with me just how lucky I am that I've always been close to my mum and her there to share my feelings, no matter how hard they might be at times. Rose's relationship with her mum was my favourite element in this story and it will be a wonderful encouragement to readers to not keep things bottled up. There is power in having a confidante.
To sum up, this is a brave story, with a hook that will be relatable at any age and for older audiences it will be a walk down memory lane. Highly readable, with a pace that will keep you flicking through those pages and also might make you see cherries in a new light. 🍒😉
Highly recommend!
June 27, 2024
I’m definitely to old of a target audience for this book but I can see why teens would enjoy and learn a lot from it. Dealing with a girl who wants to have sex for the first time but ended up having some complications this touches on a lot of important topics for young girls to read about and explore. It was a fun and easy read and I do think a good one for teens to enjoy.
Thank you to the publisher for sending me an advance copy in exchange for an honest review
Thank you to the publisher for sending me an advance copy in exchange for an honest review
August 9, 2025
I loved this book! It had the 'girl with a shit boyfriend she keeps going back to' thing which I love and hate at the same time! It had an important message about self-discovery and it was really well done and hilarious!
August 11, 2024
Fun read, lots of life lessons, girl talk, red flags and verrry British.
August 4, 2024
An important book for any young adult about friendship, relationships and knowing when the time is right. It also presses the importance of getting things checked if you feel things aren't right and how no two bodies are the same.
I think the author did a great job of being both humorous and serious in this one and that it will 100% be worth reading as a teenager.
Rose decides it's the right time for her and her boyfriend Joel to do it, but things dont go smoothly as they rarely do in these instances and so she does the sensible thing and gets checked out.
So follows her tumultuous next few months, with university applications, exams and friendship fall outs.
I thought the discussions around virginity were brilliant, the forums where they could chat openly were great and the support network was good too.
Overall it is definitely one I would recommend reading for teens or parents of teens.
I think the author did a great job of being both humorous and serious in this one and that it will 100% be worth reading as a teenager.
Rose decides it's the right time for her and her boyfriend Joel to do it, but things dont go smoothly as they rarely do in these instances and so she does the sensible thing and gets checked out.
So follows her tumultuous next few months, with university applications, exams and friendship fall outs.
I thought the discussions around virginity were brilliant, the forums where they could chat openly were great and the support network was good too.
Overall it is definitely one I would recommend reading for teens or parents of teens.
September 22, 2024
Given that this book includes sixth form students this review format feels right:
WWW: interesting concept and i can see why this book would be useful for a teenager
EBI: the book felt too long, even very slow at times and i didn’t feel attached to any of the characters perhaps because i was no longer their age and their conversations seemed too childish and immature
WWW: interesting concept and i can see why this book would be useful for a teenager
EBI: the book felt too long, even very slow at times and i didn’t feel attached to any of the characters perhaps because i was no longer their age and their conversations seemed too childish and immature
July 7, 2024
A wonderful book that will speak to so many young adults on so many levels. An amazing debut novel that is funny, heartwarming and sorely needed.
September 2, 2024
This Book appears on my timeline thanks to a friend reading it and reviewing it and I was intrigued by the premiss that I decided to pick up on my latest Waterstones trip and this is one of the funniest, bravest, Heartfelt YA books that I think I have and will ever read. It’s a modem version of an Agony Aunt with elements of Sex Education thrown in. This is a wholehearted story that touches on a lot of subjects. I do have to say that whilst being in my 20’s I’m not the target audience for this book but it’s still a powerful read.
Rose is considering her future and what she wants to be when she is older but throw in friendship, relationships with her boyfriend Joel and how much she wants her first time to be with him. But their perfectly planned first that has been the talk of her friendship group for ages doesn’t go to plan. But their perfectly planned first doesn’t go to plan. Embarrassed to tell her friends that her and Joel couldn’t do it, Rose throws what she believes to be a harmless lie about it going without a hitch, slowly beginning to shut out her friends as her mind spirals, especially after a scary examination.
This honest, Eye-opening Although graphic story covered the subject matter of troubles surrounding sex in a very sensitive manner with a great mixture of serious moments and humour with Rose and her amazing group of Friends learning and exploring their bodies.
This was just an all-round wholesome, gloriously witty book that I want to throw into the hands of all readers.
Rose is considering her future and what she wants to be when she is older but throw in friendship, relationships with her boyfriend Joel and how much she wants her first time to be with him. But their perfectly planned first that has been the talk of her friendship group for ages doesn’t go to plan. But their perfectly planned first doesn’t go to plan. Embarrassed to tell her friends that her and Joel couldn’t do it, Rose throws what she believes to be a harmless lie about it going without a hitch, slowly beginning to shut out her friends as her mind spirals, especially after a scary examination.
This honest, Eye-opening Although graphic story covered the subject matter of troubles surrounding sex in a very sensitive manner with a great mixture of serious moments and humour with Rose and her amazing group of Friends learning and exploring their bodies.
This was just an all-round wholesome, gloriously witty book that I want to throw into the hands of all readers.
October 29, 2024
This young adult book surrounds the anxieties about 'officially losing it' (the V card) & captures the trials/tribulations of what it looks like when you hit a certain age & suddenly having a boyfriend is more important than having friends.
This is the sort of book i decided to read just to help heal my inner teenage self. I knew i was in some ways selfish, my boyfriend was more important than air. If Jessie now told Jessie then that we broke up, honestly she would be beside herself.
Either way, the way Rebecca perfectly encapsulates that faulty prioritisation of teens & how important losing it felt at that time, felt really similar to my situation in school.
I do think including a small surgery in this due to Rose's 'tightness issue' would have been enough to send me into an absolute panic if i had read this at a younger age BUT, with that being said, it is all relevant to the story & 'coming of age' feel of this book.
This is the sort of book i decided to read just to help heal my inner teenage self. I knew i was in some ways selfish, my boyfriend was more important than air. If Jessie now told Jessie then that we broke up, honestly she would be beside herself.
Either way, the way Rebecca perfectly encapsulates that faulty prioritisation of teens & how important losing it felt at that time, felt really similar to my situation in school.
I do think including a small surgery in this due to Rose's 'tightness issue' would have been enough to send me into an absolute panic if i had read this at a younger age BUT, with that being said, it is all relevant to the story & 'coming of age' feel of this book.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 24, 2025
Indecisive and scared of sex? Rose is so me
But seriously, as much as Rose pissed me off in this book, I was all in. The Britishness, the Sex Education vibes, the not taking your own advice, penetration not coming easily, Rose feeling lit up at the suggestion of being a counsellor!!! I am tired of books (the 3 I’ve found where characters experience difficulty with penetrative sex) where the mc’s original partner is not supportive of their journey. Mayhaps that’s realistic, though :(
4.5 stars 🌟
But seriously, as much as Rose pissed me off in this book, I was all in. The Britishness, the Sex Education vibes, the not taking your own advice, penetration not coming easily, Rose feeling lit up at the suggestion of being a counsellor!!! I am tired of books (the 3 I’ve found where characters experience difficulty with penetrative sex) where the mc’s original partner is not supportive of their journey. Mayhaps that’s realistic, though :(
4.5 stars 🌟
November 10, 2024
I found myself sucked into the lives of these engaging older teenagers. The story is related sympathetically in the language of typical 17 - 18 year old young people. It deals with some very personal and embarrassing aspects of young people beginning to explore adult relationships. The main character Rose, alongside her friends, is dealing with concerns about exams, UCAS applications and their futures. The book deals with awkward situations with honest humour and is very entertaining.
July 15, 2024
Loved this book, lots of giggles at the authors witty one-liners. It felt an honest account of an intimate subject, and I could believe in the characters. I hope we get to hear more about Rose and her friends.
November 28, 2024
An impossibly important story. I can't express enough about how much this book meant to me, and how much I learnt from it. I'm an adult now... but I can't imagine how vital this book would be as a reading experience for many students and sixth formers.
For me, this book hit the YA nail on the head. It was graphic, and it was honest, and it was raw. It didn't shy away from discussing real sexual experiences in a quite heartbreaking but realistic way. This is what teenagers are experiencing. This is what is happening in sixth forms across the world. We need to be frank and honest when writing YA - and to hear from more counsellors, more teachers, more working people talking to real young people in their day to day lives.
There were so many other things I loved about this book, though. Rebecca Anderson has such a knack for writing realistic, diverse and relatable characters, from Rose's genuine normality and awkwardness, to the differences between her friends and the morally grey areas of Joel. She showed that there are always two sides to a person, that everyone at this age is growing up and exploring, figuring out who they are. It's rare that I've read a UKYA book with such layers and complexity, and it was so interesting to read.
All of this aside... I was genuinely hooked. I adore Scholastic books on the best of days, and this one has to be up there as a favourite for me. I'll definitely be sharing with my followers and telling everyone what a joy it was to read... and how important it could be to young people.
I can't wait to read more from Rebecca Anderson!
For me, this book hit the YA nail on the head. It was graphic, and it was honest, and it was raw. It didn't shy away from discussing real sexual experiences in a quite heartbreaking but realistic way. This is what teenagers are experiencing. This is what is happening in sixth forms across the world. We need to be frank and honest when writing YA - and to hear from more counsellors, more teachers, more working people talking to real young people in their day to day lives.
There were so many other things I loved about this book, though. Rebecca Anderson has such a knack for writing realistic, diverse and relatable characters, from Rose's genuine normality and awkwardness, to the differences between her friends and the morally grey areas of Joel. She showed that there are always two sides to a person, that everyone at this age is growing up and exploring, figuring out who they are. It's rare that I've read a UKYA book with such layers and complexity, and it was so interesting to read.
All of this aside... I was genuinely hooked. I adore Scholastic books on the best of days, and this one has to be up there as a favourite for me. I'll definitely be sharing with my followers and telling everyone what a joy it was to read... and how important it could be to young people.
I can't wait to read more from Rebecca Anderson!
May 25, 2025
3.5 stars.
i toyed between giving this a 3.5 and a 4 because BOOKS ABOUT VAGINA CONDITIONS MY BELOVED <33
as you can see i finished this in ONE DAY!!
- for 2024 there is some outdated cringe, like “the soundtrack is a right bop”
- p103 - the first time demi mentioned monica, it was like, oh duh it’s them
- but i didn’t actually realise lena was moongirl but it shouldve been so obvious!! but that warmed my heart so much <33
- “””love you”. i whisper the last bit because the last thing i want is anyone else to hear it” wait why??
- rose’s mum is a cunt, like why is she mad at her about uni instead of thinking oh i bet it’s practically traumatising for my daughter to be fingered by strangers all the time
- i find it odd that they are apparently forward thinking enough to use “they” pronouns but not to know women watch porn or masturbate?? ditto that virginity isn’t real
- “love you. wish i could give you a big cuddle” just feels very formal and odd for a couple. it’s worded like an email and very millennial
- i’m surprised she doesn’t also have vaginismus considering how scared she is about joel and his reactions to her ??
- “turns out that whole job thing at Authentic Soul was not one of Lena’s whims after all” just because lena likes stars and horoscopes, she thinks that she just made up a job opening lmao? odd
- so joel is blatantly a cunt but i do get it as he genuinely apologises every time. i mean that’s not good enough but i get it if she’s attached
- isn’t the hilton literally a posh hotel why is she saying it’s not 💀
- didn’t love the cut and dry ending where she went from broken to fixed within like seven months but maybe that’s because vaginismus takes years to overcome so i just couldn’t relate to it. it just felt too unrealistic to me
i toyed between giving this a 3.5 and a 4 because BOOKS ABOUT VAGINA CONDITIONS MY BELOVED <33
as you can see i finished this in ONE DAY!!
- for 2024 there is some outdated cringe, like “the soundtrack is a right bop”
- p103 - the first time demi mentioned monica, it was like, oh duh it’s them
- but i didn’t actually realise lena was moongirl but it shouldve been so obvious!! but that warmed my heart so much <33
- “””love you”. i whisper the last bit because the last thing i want is anyone else to hear it” wait why??
- rose’s mum is a cunt, like why is she mad at her about uni instead of thinking oh i bet it’s practically traumatising for my daughter to be fingered by strangers all the time
- i find it odd that they are apparently forward thinking enough to use “they” pronouns but not to know women watch porn or masturbate?? ditto that virginity isn’t real
- “love you. wish i could give you a big cuddle” just feels very formal and odd for a couple. it’s worded like an email and very millennial
- i’m surprised she doesn’t also have vaginismus considering how scared she is about joel and his reactions to her ??
- “turns out that whole job thing at Authentic Soul was not one of Lena’s whims after all” just because lena likes stars and horoscopes, she thinks that she just made up a job opening lmao? odd
- so joel is blatantly a cunt but i do get it as he genuinely apologises every time. i mean that’s not good enough but i get it if she’s attached
- isn’t the hilton literally a posh hotel why is she saying it’s not 💀
- didn’t love the cut and dry ending where she went from broken to fixed within like seven months but maybe that’s because vaginismus takes years to overcome so i just couldn’t relate to it. it just felt too unrealistic to me
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