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285 pages, Kindle Edition
Published September 5, 2024
🧁☀️🧁☀️🧁☀️🧁☀️Q🧁u☀️o🧁t☀️e🧁☀️🧁☀️🧁☀️🧁☀️
”Ray: My breath catches at the first glimpse of a boy staring back at me. He looks like a stranger I desperately want to know. And all I can do is stare at the surreal version of myself I’m not sure how to be.
“See? You look fine, Ray. My very own twinky ray of sunshine.” Jordie squeezes my shoulders in a friendly hug.
“Please, I’m not.” I roll my eyes at them, but I secretly love that nickname. I want to be their ray of sunshine for always. But their admiration gives me the courage to face the mirror again.”
🧁☀️🧁☀️🧁☀️🧁☀️🧁☀️🧁☀️🧁☀️🧁☀️🧁☀️🧁☀️🧁☀️🧁☀️🧁☀️🧁
🧁☀️🧁☀️🧁☀️🧁☀️Q🧁u☀️o🧁t☀️e🧁☀️🧁☀️🧁☀️🧁☀️
”Ray: Eddie meets my gaze in the mirror. “Last chance to back out?”
“Do it.” I say, grasping my courage in both hands as I meet Jordie’s encouraging gaze in the mirror.
The snick of the blades seems loud as he shears off most of my hair in one fell swoop. Eddie coils up the severed braid and stuffs it into a Ziploc bag from his workstation.
I was worried the sight of all that hair would fill me with regret, but when Eddie hands the baggie to Jordie, all I feel is buoyant relief. As if I can shed all the expectations that gorgeous long hair embodies just as easily as a single cut. Each snip of the shears as Eddie tidies the ends of my hair and reverberates through to the core of me. I’m allowed to do this. Allowed to make my own choices, even if they’re wrong, and I change my mind.
Jordie is watching me with concern as my eyes well with happy tears. They squeeze my shoulder through the cape thing Eddie draped over me when he turns to exchange the scissors for his clippers.
“You okay?” Jordie asks.
“Yeah. I can really do this.” The awed realization in those words is embarrassing in its naked longing.
Jordie’s concern melts into another of their encouraging smiles. “You really can.”
“We good to keep going?” Eddie checks in with me as he adjusts the guard on his clippers.
“Yes, please.” I can’t wipe away my smile as Eddie finishes trimming away the ragged ends of what used to be my braid, then carefully buzzes the hair at my nape.”
🧁☀️🧁☀️🧁☀️🧁☀️🧁☀️🧁☀️🧁☀️🧁☀️🧁☀️🧁☀️🧁☀️🧁☀️🧁☀️🧁
■Jordie: "...and place their books next to mine all while simultaneously attempting to sit. I reach to steady their shoulder as they stagger.
Their stack of books topples to one side, and they stumble right into my lap. Their books clatter to the floor at our feet as I wrap my arms around them so we don’t both go down with the books. It’s reflexive and I can’t help the zing of warmth I feel when they realize I won’t let them fall and they relax into my hold.
Jacob is going to laugh himself silly if I tell him my new baby queer tripped and literally fell onto my dick. I mean. Not exactly, but I can feel myself reacting to having them squirming in my lap as they gather their things."
■Jordie: "No pressure, babe, I can just call you Frenchie until you pick something you prefer. They stifle a laugh and dart those gorgeous blue mirth-filled eyes to my face. I wink at them."
■Ray: "...I’m only puzzled for a second before they spin to show off their efforts. “Que penses-tu?”
“Je pense que tu es une petite canaille.” I shake my head at their ridiculous antics, trying to stifle my laughter when I read the slogan on their chest. With the C and half of the D strategically covered up, they have I <3 ANAL proudly blazoned across their body.
I resist the urge to cover it up as I feel myself flushing. A family with two young kids enters the aisle with us. I step into Jordie’s personal space and tug them into a sweet kiss..."
■Ray: '“Tu est parfaite.” I lock eyes with them, wishing I could beam into their mind just how much I’m into every single part of them."