Family discipleship is one of the most basic ways God has ordained to build his kingdom—and yet most parents struggle to do it consistently.
Amid our busyness, the multitude of different approaches, and our own self-doubts, the deck seems stacked against us. But Brian Dembowczyk isn't here to pile on the guilt or to make us feel like failures. As a parent himself, he knows this struggle firsthand.
In Family Discipleship That Works, Dembowczyk says that the goal of discipling our kids isn't just passing along head knowledge. It's teaching them to act like Jesus. The Bible itself is not just a story but a drama in which we ourselves participate, and our kids have roles to play too. Dembowczyk offers practical advice and a wealth of ideas for teaching our kids to imitate the character traits of Jesus himself as we "act out" the Christian life together.
As parents, we are indeed called to disciple our children to know and act like Jesus. By God's grace, that's a task we can do—not out of guilt but with joy and good hope.
Family Discipleship That Works . . .
Invites parents into more active family discipleship without judgmentalism, but with grace and understandingPresents "imitating Jesus" as a new model for understanding and enacting family discipleshipIncludes practical, achievable advice for parents to live out these principles in their homes
Brian Dembowczyk has worked in publishing the past ten years, including serving as the Managing Editor of The Gospel Project, a Bible study curriculum used by over one million people each week. He is also an adjunct professor and speaker. Brian served in local church ministry for seventeen years, primarily in family ministry and discipleship ministry.
Brian holds a PhD and ThM from Midwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, a DMin from New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary, and an MDiv from the Southern Baptist Theological Seminar. He, his wife Tara, and their three children—Joshua, Hannah, and Caleb—live in Middle Tennessee.
I read this in anticipation of our homeschooling discipleship discussion for the spring semester and just couldn’t connect with the author. Family discipleship is a difficult topic I think, as each family is very unique and the season of life they are in is changing almost continually. All that being said, I just didn’t like the practical application suggested or theatre framework used to discuss family discipleship. His Christology was solid, no problems there.
Overall I did enjoy this read! The author offered practical and simple applications to apply to family discipleship that can be used in my opinion for all ages (obviously will progress as your children grow). The teachings and applications suggested were all aligned with scripture in context which I appreciated! The author provides several family worship Bible plans! The outline of the book follows a “theatre framework” which wasn’t personally my favorite but I was still able to gather several takeaways to apply in my home with my children.
There are lots of family discipleship books on the market, but as the author of this one points out, many of them point back to glory days that never existed, causing modern parents to feel guilty and inferior because they aren't raising their kids in the faith to the same degree as previous generations of American Christians did. Brian Dembowczyk challenges this perspective by quoting from a wide variety of increasingly dated family discipleship materials that make the very same lament, all the way back to the Puritans.
He says that even though this can seem discouraging, it is also freeing, because people can stop berating themselves for not excelling at a goal that other generations struggled with, too. He encourages parents to rest in God's love and share God's love with their children, teaching and training them from a posture of peace instead of letting guilt and anxiety fuel their efforts.
Throughout Family Discipleship That Works, Dembowczyk shares simple, straightforward advice for how parents can conceptualize the process of discipleship and live it out with their children. He focuses on universal themes and essentials, instead of suggesting specific practices, and he uses metaphors from theater to talk about imitating Christ. For example, he says that a lot of life involves improv, and he encourages parents to help their kids develop the mindset and skills to seek God's wisdom in their particular moments, instead of primarily imparting academic head knowledge that is difficult to apply to aspects of life that the Bible doesn't explicitly address. Through the theater metaphors, Dembowczyk encourages Christians to see themselves as players in a great drama, and to learn how to live out this story.
Another topic that Dembowczyk explores is the intersection between faith and works. He explains the problems with legalism, which focuses on right behavior above all else, while also challenging contemporary reactions to legalism that end up focusing so heavily on grace that they neglect other parts of the Bible and minimize virtue development and righteous living. Dembowczyk encourages parents to model and teach the Christian faith in a way that honors the connection between one's faith and one's works.
This is primarily a vision-casting book that focuses on big ideas and themes, without giving a lot of specific, practical advice. When Dembowczyk does get practical in a direct and immediate way, he mainly focuses on ways to teach the Bible and to represent the full scope of its redemptive story. The appendix includes suggested reading plans that families can use to explore the whole scope of the Bible together.
Family Discipleship That Works: Guiding Your Child to Know, Love, and Act Like Jesus is a great book for parents who feel overwhelmed and uncertain about how to teach their kids about Jesus, or who are looking for new ways to conceptualize the process. This is also a great read for other important people in a child's life, and the author even directly mentions this book's relevance to extended family and other loved ones who are helping a child learn and grow. Even though this book's focus on big ideas and broad applications will disappoint readers who are looking for more practical suggestions and tips, this is a great vision-casting book that offers helpful perspectives and encourages parents to let go of guilt and fear, and to commit to discipling their children in everyday life.
I received a free copy from the publisher, and am voluntarily leaving an honest review.
Sometimes book written on family devotions are written by people who don’t have children. Our author is a publisher as well as a family pastor. He is not afraid to tell you about his children and use them as examples of why one size fits all isn’t going to make it real for the children in his home. First of all, the layout of the book was very pleasing to me. Eight chapters in total with BIG IDEAS in bold print and highlights so you can’t miss his main points. Each chapter ends with Questions for reflection or discussion, with the last questions asking you on a scale of 1- 10 how clear he was in making his point. At the end of the book, is the planned outline of the ACT method. Then a real ---- family worship Bible reading plan, with titled passage in Bible and possible traits to emphasize. From Genesis to Revelation. Last of all notes and bibliography for the book. This is my kind of a lesson plan.
The prologue of the book starts off with a group of teens following directions to a restaurant, and how things can go all wrong by interruption, lack of completeness and different of opinion. From the first time you bring your first born home you don’t have all the information you needs and you learned on the way. He wants to give you some new ideas, to go with your background and lead you into a possible action plan. His first goal of family discipleship is raising kids who know Jesus, love Jesus and act like Jesus. He uses parables and a game like improv, with the children acting things out at their level, in other words no right answer, just observations on the parable (remember each child is different in age and temperament). We want these children in imitate certain characters of Jesus, involving them in role planning which is fun, they learn they lessons they probably would not have learned from a straight Bible reading. He used sport talk, and modern teams as his examples too. I am way beyond teaching my children, but really would have enjoyed trying some of these ideas to see how they worked. Months and years later you can see the fruit of you play acting and learning to act like Jesus did in situations. This book earns my approval as a top idea on family discipleship, give it a try.
Bottom line: well written, reasoned, and researched. But since it's hard to say what exactly another potential reader is looking for when they pick this up, rather than giving my opinion, here are helpful things to know:
*I listened to the audiobook, which was very clearly narrated in a tone reminiscent of educational materials, as is appropriate for the book. The audio edition is accompanied by supplemental PDF documents you can use for your own planning. However, if you are reading this with your spouse, the print edition may be helpful as it will allow for note-taking, ease of rereading, etc.
*This is fully a book for the adults - the author presents biblical arguments about the importance of family discipleship and sometimes gets a bit lost in the theological weeds, which will be interesting to those considering the broader implications of discipleship as a primary component of parenting. This is not a collection of things to read aloud to your children, suggestions for games and activities, worksheets, etc.
*The theological perspective is fully protestant/evangelical - Catholic readers may get some helpful tips in the later chapters, but will likely be surprised by the focus of the first few on salvation.
*The overall tone is one of encouragement and hope - this is not another attack on modern parents for failing to live up to an imagined past standard, which the author cleverly and helpfully debunks right at the beginning. There is a full acknowledgement that we live in the 21st century and model discipleship on the world we live in.
I really enjoyed this book. It was very uplifting and encouraging for me. Instead of giving you a ton of things that make it seem impossible, you find you're already on the right track and it reassures you. There were definitely a few new ways of describing things that I loved and will use myself. I definitely recommend this book as a "beginner's guide" to discipleship and integrating faith into your life [as parents].
Personal Notes and Quotes:
I love the part where he talks about the "sheep versus goats." It wasn't the actions that made them sheep and goats. God didn't all of the sudden change them to be sheep and goats at that time, they were ALWAYS sheep and goats. They always had been. It's talking about how you can figure out which is which by their fruit. I wouldn't mix up an apple and an orange tree because we know the colors and the insides of their fruit. We aren't choosing actions in order to change our sheepness or goatness. We are choosing actions based on living like Jesus.
"Faithful imitation of Jesus requires improvising in ways that are true to the gospel and relatable to our culture."
"Mission is at the heart of the drama. We are rooted in Christ and called to imitate Him in a way that fits our cultural context and relates to our audience."
I received an Advanced Listener Copy Audiobook of this book from NetGalley and am voluntarily leaving an honest review.
This is one of those books that is better suited to a written format than audiobook because there are checklists and ideas to review. I definitely would have gotten more out of it if I had taken notes while listening. It also is one of those parenting books that it would have been more helpful to read when my children were younger because now they have ingrained habits that we are trying to break and it will be a whole lot harder to course correct. The good news is that you actually get applicable strategies in this book which is in alarmingly short supply in most parenting books. There are so many points that it becomes a bit overwhelming and the author reminds the reader to get back to basics and start with one or two strategies to get the ball rolling again. There is also quite a lot of focus on identity which was sociologically fascinating given the current identity politics crisis. Overall both enjoyable and helpful.
Thank you to the NetGalley, the publisher and the author for the advanced audio copy of Family Discipleship That Works by Brian Dembowczyk in exchange for my honest review.
This audiobook was a quick listen and held very practical applications to help guide my family into discipleship. So many times we think about generations of long ago that “did it better”, whereas the author points out, they may not have. This book has encouraged me to start right where we are, to model Jesus and to apply ourselves. Each chapter has application questions and I will be utilizing them to move forward.
*I received a free copy of this book from NetGalley and the publisher in exchange for my honest review* I have a real issue with books that I finish and think "That could have (should have) been a blog post". That's what I felt about this book. Yes, it was clever how the author went back through the history of American concern about the lack of discipleship happening in families, but I felt like the book was kind of lacking in practical application. Live like Jesus in front of your kids, learn how to read your Bible well so you can teach them about it properly. That pretty much sums up the book.
This is a helpful book for Christian families who are wanting some ideas on ways to incorporate family discipleship into their rhythms. It encourages parents/guardians to put the ideas into practice…family has to start somewhere, so take a step!
I’ve done similar things in my family in the past, so I think this would be a great read for families who need a starting point.
I was curious about this book. As a Pastor's wife I am always on the hunt for new resources to recommend, new things to share with my congregation. And discipleship is a topic that is near to my heart, something I think has been neglected by the modern church and the family for far too long. What I find unique about this book is Brian's very authentic voice. The audible version of this book is wonderful. This is like a conversation with a fellow believer on a topic that can be very intimidating to many people.
I found this audiobook to be an easy ready and the narration was great. It was full of practical and helpful suggestions on the how and why of family discipleship and is a great starting point for those feeling lost on this topic.
"Family Discipleship That Works" is a creative and deeply encouraging guide for parents who want to live out their faith in a way that impacts their family for generations. This book stands out for its unique approach to viewing discipleship through the lens of theater and storytelling, reminding readers that they are playing an important role in God’s grand production.
Right from the start, the author takes a refreshing approach by lifting the heavy burdens of shame, guilt, and unrealistic expectations off of parents' shoulders. Instead, they inspire hope and cultivate realistic expectations, making discipleship feel like an exciting opportunity rather than a daunting task.
The book is filled with engaging and memorable tools, like the “Old, New, Borrowed, Blue” and “Follow the Leader” improv games, which provide fun ways to tie discipleship ideas into fun games. These improv games could help parents teach the ideas from the chapters to their children an to connect faith with creativity, spontaneity, and joy, making it a natural part of family rhythms.
One of the most profound takeaways is the invitation to read the Bible as a drama to be performed, rather than just as historical information or a story to believe. This perspective transforms how families engage with Scripture, encouraging them to live out its truths actively and intentionally. It’s a powerful reminder that faith is not just something to learn about but something to embody.
The inclusion of thoughtful reflection questions at the end of each chapter helps readers internalize and apply the material in practical ways, ensuring it becomes more than just theory.
"Family Discipleship That Works" is a great read for families who want to embrace their role in God’s story with creativity, joy, and purpose.