Recovering from Purity Culture: Dismantle the Myths, Reject Shame-Based Sexuality, and Move Forward in Your Faith

by Camden Morgante

We know what is wrong with purity culture--now we need to know how to heal. Drawing on historical and psychological research, her own personal experience, and therapy case studies, Dr. Camden Morgante tackles what comes next in reclaiming our sexuality from the harmful teachings so many evangelical Christians grew up believing.

With great compassion and insight, Dr. Camden
· exposes five myths of purity culture and their effects on individuals and relationships
· offers proven therapy techniques to replace harmful lies with healing truth
· provides strategies to overcome shame in the mind and body
· explores the connection between purity culture, trauma, and faith deconstruction
· helps the hurting reconstruct their faith with peace and acceptance

A healthy sexuality is not out of reach for those who have been harmed by purity culture. You can find freedom from shame, restrictive gender roles, and stunted relationships. Dr. Camden shows you the way forward.

Genres: Nonfiction, Faith, Christian, Christianity, Religion, Sexuality, Womens

246 pages, Kindle Edition

Published October 15, 2024

About the author

Dr. Camden Morgante is a licensed clinical psychologist who owns a private therapy practice. She is a writer, speaker, and coach on purity culture recovery and faith reconstruction. Dr. Camden combines her personal experience growing up in purity culture with her professional experience in mind-body integration to help her clients and readers heal their faith from toxic beliefs. Dr. Camden lives in Knoxville, Tennessee with her husband and their daughter and son.

Reviews

[Jillian B · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sometimes I think I managed to dodge purity culture despite growing up in the church, and then I remember I literally walked in a modesty fashion show as a teen 😂 So yes, as a Christian who came of age in the True Love Waits era, this book resonated with me!

This excellent book harnesses therapeutic techniques to help readers heal from the teachings of toxic purity culture. I really appreciated that each chapter contained practical exercises based on frameworks like dialectical behavioural therapy and cognitive behavioural therapy. I also liked the author’s nonjudgmental attitude. Rather than proscribing a certain sexual ethic or theological outlook, she gives readers the tools they need to clarify their own beliefs, with the understanding that if they land in a different place than she has, that’s OK.

Parents will definitely appreciate the comprehensive section focused on how to talk to kids about sex in a healthy and non-shame-based way. And single Christians will benefit from the many sections that talk about the experience of older singles, which is too often ignored in Christian settings.

Overall, I was very impressed by this book!

[Suzannah Rowntree]

I was never exposed to the worst excesses of purity culture as a teen, being sheltered by my parents' distrust of youth ministry, my mother's openness about her life before getting born again, and my geographical distance from American evangelicalism. However I grew up in a Christian context where purity culture materials and many of the attitudes were common. I've also done a lot of the deconstructive work recommended in the book, and it was encouraging to realise how much of the work I've already done.

Nevertheless, as a single person, I still see significant areas where I was impacted by purity culture. The assumption that a Christian marriage would happen for me, at a specific time and in a specific way, led to feelings of spiritual disconnect with God when he didn't cough up by my mid twenties. That season is in the past, but these days I still struggle with feeling like I've failed at the one thing I was supposed to do with my life, from not having a blueprint for how to date and find partnership as an adult, and from feeling that I must have done something wrong and displeased God when attempts to find partnership have failed. Above all this, the most painful and all encompassing point of struggle, for me, has been difficulty in proactively seeking relationships with men, either platonic or romantic. In the context in which I grew up, and in the Victorian literature I read, women were supposed to be strictly passive in relating to men. Any woman taking the initiative with a man romantically was "getting her claws in". Even at best, seeking out platonic friendships would involve significant spiritual and sexual risk. A book titled "Emotional Purity" - and really all you need to know about it is the title - was the last straw: I consciously rejected that idea the moment I was exposed to it, and yet I still struggled with feeling guilt over crushes and disappointment. A friend once suggested that having unrequited feelings for men was somehow attributable to the fact that I read a lot of fiction - not only suggesting that my feelings were abnormal and unhealthy, but also that they were my fault for indulging and feeding my God-given imagination. As a result, even to this day, it takes a conscious effort for me just to ask to catch up with a male friend.

I appreciated the way this book identified parts of the problem I hadn't yet pinpointed, suggested ways for processing things I still struggle with, and gave hope and concrete hints for moving forward and not perpetuating the same problems with new generations in the future. The chapter on deconstruction was particularly encouraging. That said, in the end the most helpful thing for me have been books to help me reconstruct what I believe to be God's true purpose for the sexes. Two books that have helped me a great deal are Amy Peeler's WOMEN AND THE GENDER OF GOD and Aimee Byrd's THE SEXUAL REFORMATION, both of which have stepped away from tired prooftexting to discuss what the metanarrative of Scripture can tell us about sexuality. In the end, I might recommend those books more highly than this one.

[Jenai Auman · Rating 5 out of 5]

As someone who did not grow up in the thick of purity culture, I didn’t expect to be impacted by Dr. Camden Morgante’s words in the ways I have. I read through the Damaged Goods Myth chapter and wept good tears.

I love and am in relationship with many folks who did grow up in purity culture, and reading this book gives me context for how to care and make space for them and their stories.

Recovering from Purity Culture is a helpful resource for those who want to befriend their bodies and heal from the bodily-focused shame culture that often affects faith spaces.

And full disclosure, Dr. Morgante is a friend, and I’m glad to support her work.

[Eliza · Rating 5 out of 5]

Although I feel like I've largely deconstructed most of my evangelical baggage at this point, purity culture has always been a sticking point for me. I know in my brain that what I was taught was pretty messed up (the line of boyfriends behind the bride at the altar, anyone?), but I could never seem to get it to a gut level of knowledge. I've read pretty much anything I could get my hands on about it and it's all been helpful from a head perspective, but it still didn't...settle? What are you supposed to do when your brain knows the "right" thoughts but your body isn't getting on board?

Enter Dr. Camden Morgante, a licensed psychologist who specializes in issues involving faith and sexuality. This book made me feel seen in a way that I hadn’t before, especially when it comes to the impact of purity culture. She writes: "Traditional therapy approaches assert that all you have to do to fix problems is to change your thoughts. Then you can change your feelings. But my purity culture clients usually come in already knowing what they should believe. They know purity culture was full of lies, and oftentimes, they already know what the right thoughts are. But they can’t seem to make their hearts and bodies catch up; they can’t seem to get their feelings and actions on the same page with their new beliefs. Their souls feel disconnected from God too—from any sense of their sexuality as sacred and spiritual." Her argument is that healing from purity culture requires head, heart, body, and soul to be aligned, and the book walks you through a variety of activities to help you realign and reconstruct your sexual ethic (whether you end up with one that mirrors hers or not – she is VERY clear that she’s not here to tell you to think a specific way). I hope that this isn’t the last writing to come from Dr. Camden, as she’s tackling an important issue whose impacts are still unfolding.

[Joely · Rating 5 out of 5]

will be reading this so many more times. cannot recommend enough!!!

[Elissa Anne · Rating 5 out of 5]

A necessary and helpful guide for anyone recovering from purity culture shame and trauma

[Kim · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a psychologist who experienced purity culture growing up, I appreciated Dr. Camden’s well-researched approach to the topic. What makes her book unique, however, are the chapters and suggestions for reconstructing faith (after acknowledging and dismantling the myths that might still be impacting someone years after first being exposed to the toxicity of the movement).

Dr. Camden explains her own reconstructed sexual ethic while encouraging readers to explore their own values —a gift of autonomy fundamentalism failed to give them. And she gives them the evidence-based tools to do so.

I look forward to sharing the book with clients who are wanting to still stay connected in their faith but also connected to themselves and their sexuality without shame.

All in all it’s a great starting point for more conversations around the topic and for further research regarding marginalized communities and those who struggle to maintain their faith of origin.

[Bailey Young · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a Christian and a Social Worker I could not love this book more! It is a truly powerful and transformative read! One I loved personally and would consider recommending to clients too!

[Ludi Acevedo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Empowering and Healing: A Must-Read for Those Deconstructing Purity Culture

This book is a breath of fresh air for anyone who has struggled with the damaging effects of purity culture. As someone who at somw point embraced these teachings—complete with purity rings and the belief that if I followed all the rules, I’d be happily married by 25 (I’m over 25 and single, but happy)—I found the author's approach both insightful and healing. She breaks down harmful myths like the "fairytale" and "damaged goods" narratives, which I know from personal experience can create deep shame and impact mental health.

What I loved most is how the author encourages critical thinking and offers practical guidance for rebuilding sexual ethics based on personal values, not fear or shame. It’s not about rejecting abstinence or saying nothing matters but about giving people the freedom to choose their own convictions and make their own choices. This book gave me so much hope and has been a key resource in my own healing journey. If you've been hurt by purity culture, I can't recommend it enough.

[Anne Jisca · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have read several books on purity culture, as I have recovered from its harm. I was eager to read this book. I realized pretty quickly that I'm not the target audience. This book is geared to Christians, and keeping the faith. I left Christianity behind in my deconstruction. I skipped parts that were overly focused on faith, since that holds no interest in my part.

I do think it is a helpful book for those who are recovering from purity culture while staying in the church/faith.

[Leanna Shepard Conley · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you grew up in purity culture, I cannot emphasize enough the importance and value of reading this book and starting/continuing your healing journey. Morgante is a psychologist and therapist who shares from her personal experience and provides practical tools for assessing and restructuring your beliefs, addressing shame and trauma, and experiencing fuller healing in your body, spirit, and mind. This is a book I will reread and reference regularly.

[Lanayia🌻 · Rating 5 out of 5]

Easily one of the most validating, insightful, and hope-filled books I’ve ever read. 11/10

[Megan Fisher · Rating 5 out of 5]

Everyone who grew up in the evangelical church in the 90s and 2000s needs to read this book!!

[Kristin · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is my hardest earned 5 star book. I have spent hours gently walking through these exercises. I have discarded lies that I have been holding childhood. I closed the last page of this book having a deeper relationship with God, a healthier marriage, and the joy to continue as an active learner with my heart, soul, mind and body.

I didn’t know that I needed this book, but God gave me this at the exact right time.

[Stefanie Melo · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am very grateful for this book, as a woman who married in her 30s I have deeply felt the harms of purity culture as a single and as a married woman. I appreciate that she articulates there are harms beyond the bedroom.

It’s a resource so many of us need. Most of us feel the harms of purity culture, but we can’t always pinpoint the damages. Dr. Morgante does this by articulating
*5 myths of purity culture,
*offering evidence-based tools for healing from the harms,
*actual sex education,
*tools for reconstructing your faith,
*figuring out a sexual ethic that isn’t “purity 2.0” and help for
*parenting after purity culture.

You don’t have to hold the same sexual ethic, theology or agree 100% with the author to benefit from this book. As I’ve been re-examining my faith and theology I find the reconstructing a sexual ethic resources particularly helpful to find a “middle path” that’s more nuanced than extremes of purity culture or a consent-only ethic.

[Ophelia · Rating 3 out of 5]

The author has some really good thoughts/opinions/insight/ideas throughout the book, but there were definitely sections that made me roll my eyes pretty hard. The book earns a 3/5 from me. You may find parts of it helpful, but it's definitely a "chew the meat, spit the bones" situation.

[Kristen Tallau · Rating 5 out of 5]

Let's face it. Purity culture, as a movement, was a great idea in theory. In practice, though...not so much. And the effects have been deeply traumatic for so many. A lot of us are still dealing with the aftereffects of what purity culture taught us, and how wrong it's turned out to be.

Drawing on her own research and experience as a therapist, as well as the research of others, Dr. Morgante takes these effects, and boils them down into the 5 myths of purity culture...and then explains how we can recover from these effects, help to reparent ourselves, and not pass these harmful teachings to the next generation. Personally, the chapter on singleness and sexuality resonated. As a queer, single woman (very much minorities in the church) who grew up in purity culture, a lot of what I was taught as a kid has either harmed, or just isn't applicable, but still had its effects.

It's a great read, and a lot cheaper than actually going to a therapist! If you're a survivor of purity culture, this book is a great start to recovering from it

[Janae · Rating 5 out of 5]

An excellent resource for anyone affected by Purity Culture (or in relationship with one who has been). I'm adding this to my physical shelf so I can lend it out in the work that I do.

The book benefits from both Morgante's personal experience and clinical expertise. She backs up her claims with data while providing practical ways to move forward.

Single and married people alike will find a lot of practical wisdom to apply to their lives, however, Morgante avoids giving easy answers that only align with one theological mindset. I appreciated the amount of nuance and freedom left for the reader to discern what is right for them.

That said, Morgante is decidedly Christian, and this work does attempt to reach those still in the church who (as the title implies) want to move forward in their faith. Deconstruction is not viewed as a threat, but as a natural tool for recovery and rebuilding faith.

If the reader has left the faith, there is still plenty of good here, but they will need to overlook the fact that they aren't the target audience.

Overall, I recommend it. It will be my go-to resource for those healing from the harm of Purity Culture in the future.

[Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

Purity Culture. How does that phrase make you feel emotionally, spiritually and physically? For those that followed it, found a mate with the same beliefs, got married young well perhaps it turned out wonderful….or at least it seems so on the outside. How about being a single person, is no sex at age 18 the same as no sex at 40+? Sex education did you learn anything beyond just say NO! Dr. Camden Morgante explores purity culture as one who lived it survived it, and as a sex therapist promotes healing from it. She offers insights into purity culture myths and their patriarchal roots. The book contains tools to support readers in repairing mind, body, and spirit and encourages readers to come to their own conclusions. Whether you are looking for books specific to purity culture or like to read about when religion goes haywire this is one to add to your reading list.

[Le Shepard - TherapyBooks · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved that Dr. Morgante addresses the harm that purity culture caused so many of us while showing a way forward that doesn't include walking away from our faith. She doesn't push people to walk away from church or God but teaches readers to build their sexual ethics on scripture and what is truly right. I definitely recommend this to others who grew up in purity culture and to therapists who work with clients affected by it.

[Jodie Pine · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very important well-researched easy-to-read work with practical application tools at the end of each chapter. Centered around deconstructing five purity culture myths: the spiritual barometer myth, the fairy tale myth, the flipped switch myth, the gatekeepers myth, and the damaged goods myth. Ending on the importance of reconstructing faith and sexuality. Bonus is a great reading list in the back of the book

[Abigail G · Rating 5 out of 5]

A really solid book that talks through the problem with purity culture. I don't relate with the author on many points but there were even more points I needed to hear from someone else who had to process the gaps in purity culture teachings.

[Mikaila Bisson-Pyles · Rating 4 out of 5]

Okay I really enjoyed this read. Though short, it shed light on the toxicity of purity culture (something I’ve been convicted by even in my Christian school upbringing) - how it’s weight is set on women, how harmful the ‘switch’ after marriage is, and how I have the power to not instill shame in my kids while still teaching faithfulness. Definitely recommend!

[Kez · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was excellent. I hope Dr. Morgante writes more books. I will definitely read them.

[Katherine H · Rating 5 out of 5]

Honestly probably the best purity culture book I've read. It deals with it softly, gently, but honestly. Dr Camden doesn't hate the church --she wants them to be free. She acknowledges the good intentions of purity culture while also pointing out the incredibly wrong underlying assumptions that are incredibly harmful.

Highly recommend.

[Pete · Rating 4 out of 5]

A helpful next step on..."Recovering from Purity Culture." Dr. Camden's "middle way" is a needed approach. In the first half, she unpacks five myths of purity culture, giving language to talk about the damage it has done. In the second part, she explores what it might look like to create a new sexual ethic rooted in Christ, not legalism. Throughout the book, she offers coaching through healing practices.

**received early access via NetGalley from the publisher**

[R.M. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Recovering from Purity Culture is a book about cultural myths that are tied tightly to religion and involve sex.

I had not heard the term purity culture until I saw this book.

It’s a therapeutic-based read to help shine light on the myths and build worthiness, regardless of sex or sexuality.

It goes through different myths and the damage they create.. It also has some tips on how to combat them.

I found it eye opening on a lot of levels.

I also would caution that there are definitely things that could be triggering to the reader around abuse,

It takes a Christian angle and has some religious viewpoint, which is understandable as that is the basis of the book.

What I liked most about it, and what I give my rating for, is the need for society and culture to separate one’s inherent worth from sex or sexuality.

That was well done.

[Alyssa · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book does a great job addressing and empathizing with the harmful effects of purity culture, while also giving the reader tools to work through those things and work towards healing. I appreciate that it addresses not just the myths associated with purity culture, but also the shame aspect that has been put on so many of us. It is also a great resource for future reading on the topic!

[Bekah Tatem · Rating 5 out of 5]

A really great read! Dr. Camden Morgante not only acknowledges and names the damage that purity culture causes, but also provides insight and guidance for how to heal from the shame and hurt.

[Breanna · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a very healing read for me.